Critters III! Now also in 5e!

[Bhu]

Chiropterid
Huge Animal
Hit Dice: 18d8+144 (225 hp)
Initiative: -1
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 20 ft.
Armor Class: 19 (-2 Size, -1 Dex, +12 Natural), touch 7, flat-footed 19
Base Attack/Grapple: +13/+31
Attack: Claw +21 melee (2d6+10)
Full Attack: 2 Claws +21 melee (2d6+10) and 1 Bite +16 melee (3d6+5)
Space/Reach: 15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Sonic Pulse, Swat
Special Qualities: Blindsight 240 ft., Scent, Low Light Vision
Saves: Fort +20, Ref +10, Will +8
Abilities: Str 30, Dex 9, Con 25, Int 2, Wis 15, Cha 10
Skills: Listen +12, Search +5, Spot +7, Survival +7
Feats: Alertness, Awesome Blow, Great Fortitude, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Toughness, Power Attack, Track
Environment: Warm Forests
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 11
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 19-36 HD (huge)
Level Adjustment: ---


"As you look up from the jungle floor to the walls of the cliffsides above, you see soemthing stirring in the giant caves running down their lengths. Emerging from them are enormous wingless bat creatures. The Chiropterids are awake for their nightly hunt."

The great Druidess Devi Hyooman had tired of the endless swarms of gigantic mosquitoes infesting the rain forest she lived in. The Dire Bats she had asked for help were too big to maneuver through the trees to catch them. So she began a very selective breeding program over the years. Eventually the Dire Bats became so big they lost the power of flight, their forelimbs now long front legs on their semi-erect quadrupedal forms. They were massively barrel chested, and their sonar apparatus much more powerful, able to stun the mosquitoes long enough to be swatted from the air. Even after she has passed on they continue living in the cliffs overlooking their jungle homes.

Sonic Pulse (Ex): As a Full Round Action the Chiropterid may unleash a nasty pulse of sound at it's opponents (usually giant mosquitoes) once every 1d4 rounds. This has the effect of an 80 ft. Cone, and anything in the area must make a DC 26 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based), or be Stunned for 1 round. If the save is successful, it is still Dazed for 1 round.

Swat (Ex): If the Chiropterid successfully Stuns an opponent with it's Sonic Pulse it may make one Claw Attack as a Swift action. This attack may use the Awesome Blow Feat without taking the -4 penalty to hit. Flying opponents within reach are knocked from the sky if hit successfully.

Skills: Chiropterids have a +4 Racial Bonus on Listen and Search checks.

Combat: Chiropterids usually open up with their Pulse and begin swatting until there's nothing left to fight, or they aren't hungry anymore.



Chiropterid
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I are taking a look at the Chiropterids. former cryptid, now officially local fauna!"

Skeeter Eaters

"I can't believe these used to be common Giant Bats."

"I wouldn't get to close Jim..."

"It's okay Harlan, I think they know I'm a Ranger. See? It just wants chin scritches."


Scary Pets

*sounds of concussive force distribution*

"Wow, it does not pay to be close when they do that..."

"Are you okay Jim?"

"Yeah, I think it just saw a bug."

[Bhu]

Dire Vampire Squid
Medium Animal (Aquatic)
Hit Dice: 4d8 (18 hp)
Initiative: +5
Speed: Swim 20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class: 15 (+1 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+7
Attack: Grab +7 (Grapple)
Full Attack: Grab +7 (Grapple)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Disorienting Display, Improved Grab, Beak, Grappler
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Immunities, Hide in Plain Sight, Mucus Burst, Blindsense 30 ft., Burst of Speed, Limb Regeneration, Amorphous Body
Saves: Fort +4, Ref +5, Will +2
Abilities: Str 10, Dex 12, Con 11, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 2
Skills: Escape Artist +10, Hide +10, Spot +6, Swim +8
Feats: Ability Focus (Disorienting Display), Improved Intiative
Environment: Warm or Temperate Aquatic
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 2
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: ---
Level Adjustment: ---

"We got hired to find Vampire Squid? Ah don't like this Abner. Ah don't like this at all."

"Relax. It's not a Vampire they just call it that."

"So it's some freaky bloodsucker?"

"Um..no. No it doesn't suck blood.

"Is it dead?"

"Um...well...no. No it's alive. Ah think."

"Well then why the hell is it called a Vampire?"

"Look ah just agree to kill tha stuff for money, someone else works out the details."

"Abner?"

"Sigh...yes Bert?".

Ah cain't swim."

Dire Vampire Squid are larger, possibly more primitive versions of the plain old regular Vampire Squid From Hell. Darn dramatic them biologists.

Disorienting Display (Ex): The Vampire Squid can put on a disorienting light show as a Standard Action. Opponents within 30 ft. that can see it must make a DC 14 Willpower Save (Save DC is Constitution Based) or be Fascinated for 1d6 rounds. If the opponent rolls a natural "1" on it's Saving Throw or has an Intelligence of 3 or less, it becomes Frightened instead.

Improved Grab (Ex): The Vampire Squid may attempt a Grapple check without provoking an attack of opportunity against any creature it's size class or smaller. If successful it uses it's beak to cut into it's prey as long as it can maintain the hold.

Beak (Ex): The Dire Vampire Squid does 2d6 damage with a successful Grapple Check.

Grappler (Ex): Due to it's multiple limbs the Dire Vampire Squid also gains a +4 Racial Bonus to Grapple Checks.

Immunities (Ex): Dire Vampire Squid are immune to the pressures of deep sea waters (see Stormwrack), and can breathe normally in water that has so little oxygen content that other gilled animals would die in it. The Dire Vampire Squid gains a +4 Racial Bonus on all Fortitude Saves to avoid starvation.

Hide in Plain Sight (Ex): At the upper end of the waters inhabited by Dire Squid, creatures swimming in the waters above can be seen as dimly moving shadows in the blue light. The Vampire Squid can swim at the top edge of this zone and cause it's underside to glow, matching the light above and concealing it from other predators like itself below. It's top still blends in with the darkness below. In this small instance the Dire Vampire Squid has the Camouflage and Hide in Plain Sight abilities listed in page 48 of the PHB.

Mucous Burst (Ex): Once per Minute as a Free Action the Dire Vampire Squid can emit a 10 ft.x10 ft.x10 ft. cloud of phosphorescent mucous. This cloud provides total concealment, which the squid uses to escape a losing fight. Due to it's brightly luminous nature it affects creatures with Light Sensitivity as though they had been exposed to bright light. This goo also sticks to them for 1d4 rounds having an effect similar to a Faerie Fire spell.

Blindsense (Ex): While it is in the water the Vampire Squid has the equivalent of Blindsight 30 ft..

Burst of Speed (Ex): The Dire Vampire Squid can temporarily increase it's Swim speed to 50 ft., but it only lasts for 3 rounds plus 1 round per point of Constitution Modifier, after which the DVS is Fatigued until it can rest for an hour. The DVS cannot use this ability while it is Fatigued or Exhausted.

Limb Regeneration (Ex): If the Vampire Squid loses a limb it may regenerate it within 1d4 weeks.

Amorphous Body (Ex): The Vampire Squids body is amazingly elastic, and almost jelly like. It can squeeze through spaces as though it were 2 Size Classes Smaller than it is.

Skills: Dire Vampire Squid have a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim Checks, and can Always Take 10 on a Swim Check. They also have a +8 Racial Bonus to Escape Artist and Hide Checks.

Combat: The Dire Vampire Squid usually opens up with it's Disorienting Display before going for the grapple. If it's beak can't subdue the opponent it sprays it with mucous before fleeing.



Giant Vampire Squid From Hell

"Testing, testing...is this thing on?"

"The palantir is working fine Jim, there's just a little lag from the distance."

3000 Feet Down

"I'm over a mile down Harlan, how the Hell did the head office even know of these things?"

"An Anguilian told us. Do you see one yet?"

"I think so. What did the office call these things again?"


As Weird As It Gets

"The Giant Vampire Squid From Hell."

"We're overselling it. It's the size of a large dog."

"Well that's disappointing."

"Also, it's definitely neither Fiendish or Undead."

[Bhu]

Headless Mule
Large Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 5d10+15 (42 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 15 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +5/+12
Attack: Hoof +7 melee (1d4+3)
Full Attack: 2 Hooves +7 melee (1d4+3)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Hallucinatory Aura
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., Scent
Saves: Fort +7, Ref +5, Will +4
Abilities: Str 16, Dex 13, Con 16, Int 4, Wis 16, Cha 16
Skills: Listen +7, Spot +7
Feats: Ability Focus (Hallucinatory Aura), Endurance
Environment: Warm Plains
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-12)
Challenge Rating: 4
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 6-10 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Bert...ever since we bought this mule...the world seems...strange..."

Despite the name Headless Mules are not actually headless. Ask anyone their origin story, and you'll get some weird, bizarre crap about a woman sleeping with a priest and being cursed to become a headless mule that spits fire and rainbows, and haunts the countryside on Thursdays.

In reality, this particular species of mule has evolved to use magic as a defense in a similar manner to the Pale Horse. Except, instead of seeing the Mule as some incarnation of death, victims get a reeeeeeeeally bad trip. The hallucinatory effect is responsible for the many crazy origin stories regarding the Mule, several local towns in the area, and a great many legends that don't make a damn bit of sense to anyone other than the towns residents.

Hallucinatory Aura (Su): Any creature within 60 ft. of a Headless Mule must make a DC 17 Willpower Save or go bat**** crazy and begin hallucinating (Save DC is Cha based). The Save DC is +1 for every 10 feet closer than 60 feet the creature is. If the Save is Failed the opponent sees/hears/interacts with something that isn't there, and misses it's turn. If the victim fails the Save by 5 or more or rolls a Natural 1, it's fears come to life, and they are affected by a Phantasmal Killer spell instead. Opponents must make a Save each round they are in range. This is a Mind-Affecting Effect.

Combat: Headless Mules are rarely required to be involved in combat. Most of the time they chew grass while watching predators freak out curled up in a fetal position. They have seen many things. Horrible things. The world should be glad they cannot speak of them.



Headless Mule

"I can taste Colors Harlan..."

"Step away from the mule Jim!"

Approach Not The Biggie Sized Mule

"Why doesn't the mule have a head Harlan?"

"Step away from the mule Jim!"


Despite The Name It Has A Head, We Assure You

"But the Mule is fun!

"Okay, just stand still. I'm sending in the Flesh Golems to retrieve you."

[Bhu]

Giant, Vampire
Large Giant
Hit Dice: 5d8+15 (37 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 19 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +9 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+12
Attack: Slam +7 melee (1d4+5) or Dagger +7 melee (1d6+5)
Full Attack: 2 Slams +7 melee (1d4+5) and 1 Bite +2 melee (1d4+2) or Dagger +7 melee (1d6+5)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Spell-Like Abilities
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., Low-light Vision, Regeneration 5, SR 18
Saves: Fort +7, Ref +2, Will +3
Abilities: Str 20, Dex 12, Con 16, Int 13, Wis 14, Cha 18
Skills: Bluff +8, Concentration +7, Diplomacy +8, Listen +6, Sense Motive +6, Spot +6
Feats: Boost Spell-Like Ability (Enthrall, see Book of Vile Darkness), Heightened Spell-Like Ability (Kiss of the Vampire, see Complete Arcane)
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary, pair, or Family (3-6) plus 1d6 random hangers-on (usually Humans with 1d6 Class Levels)
Challenge Rating: 7
Treasure: Double Standard
Alignment: Usually Neutral
Advancement: By Character Class
Level Adjustment: ---

"GET THE HELL OFF MY LAND YOU WEIRDOS!"

Long ago, a race of Giants petitioned their God Flea for help. Tired of being attacked by the humans for being ugly and scary (well, and for occasionally eating them), they wanted a form more acceptable to the smaller races. Doing some research, the God noticed the local villagers were kind of a vampire fanbase. The Giants were shrunken in size a bit, and made to look undead-ish. Now the humans have stopped trying to kill them in the night, and instead scream "bite me vampire mommy" at every opportunity. The Giants feel certain this is not an improvement. They now appear as thickly built humans roughly 10 feet tall. They have pale, marble-like skin, bright yellow eyes, red lips and coal black hair. They are fond of living in lonely places surrounded by monsters to dissuade thirsty humans who insist on interrupting their day to make seduction attempts that would make a Bard shake his head. Normal vampires are not fond of them, as they feel they don't need competition for their potential meals.

Spell-Like Abilities (Sp): At Will: Enthrall, Fangs of the Vampire King (Spell Compendium), Fog Cloud, Kiss of the Toad (Complete Arcane). 1/day: Charm Person, Kiss of the Vampire (Spell Compendium), Magic Fang, Vampiric Touch. Caster level 9th. The save DCs are Charisma-based.

Regeneration (Ex): Fire and silver deal normal damage to a Vampire Giant. If a Vampire Giant loses a limb or body part, the lost portion regrows in 3d6 minutes. The creature can reattach the severed member instantly by holding it to the stump.

Combat: Vampire Giants start with their magic, and end with their fists. They may not have to even do that, as their howling mob of fans tend to annihilate problems for them.




Vampire Giant
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom Jim will be interviewing a rare subspecies of Giant!"

Cursed By Their Own God

"Good evening ma'am!"

"Let's keep this classy, I know what you Humanoids are like."

"We're a family show ma'am. We keep it clean."

"Good. I suppose you want to know about my rivalry with that Harlot across the way?"

Unintentionally Famous

"Actually, we were here to inquire about your species origins."

"Do I look like local fauna to you?"

Fangs of the Vampire King
3rd Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M (a fang)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
You grow fangs for the duration of the spell (or get better fangs if you already have them). Your Fangs are a melee spell attack that do 3d8 piercing damage, in addition to the affects of any Bite attack you may already have. Additionally, the target must make a Constitution Save or gain one Level of Exhaustion until the spell ends.


Kiss of the Toad
2nd Level Necromancy
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous (but see below)
As part of this spell you make a melee spell attack by trying to touch your victim. If the attack is successful it does 3d6 Poison damage, and the target must make a Constitution Save 1 Minute Later. If it fails, the target takes an additional 3d6 Poison damage.


Kiss of the Vampire
5th Level Necromancy
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M (a black onyx worth at least 50 GP)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
You become gaunt and pale with red eyes, resembling a vampire. For the duration of the spell you gain the following:
Your melee attacks do an extra 1d6 necrotic damage, and your melee attacks are considered magical.
You gain Damage Resistance to non-magical Bludgeoning, Piercing and Slashing damage. You also gain Damage Resistance to Necrotic damage.
You make melee spell attacks with advantage.

[Bhu]

Emu, Lord
Large Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 4d10+16 (38 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 60 ft. (12 squares)
Armor Class: 18 (-1 Size, +2 Dex, +7 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple: +4/+13
Attack: Kick +8 melee (1d8+5)
Full Attack: 1 Kick +8 melee (1d8+5) and 1 Peck +3 melee (1d4+2)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Aura of Leadership, Dominate Emu, Grant Move Action, Frightening Presence
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., DR 5/-
Saves: Fort +8, Ref +6, Will +3
Abilities: Str 20, Dex 14, Con 18, Int 14, Wis 14, Cha 16
Skills: Bluff +6, Intimidate +6, Jump +8, Knowledge (Geography) +5, Listen +6, Sense Motive +6, Spot +6, Survival +6
Feats: Endurance, Run
Environment: Warm Plains
Organization: Solitary, plus 10-100 Emus
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 5-12 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Oh, this is some extra special deluxe bull (beep) right here..."

"Destroy!"

"I get the feeling that bird doesn't like us."

Emu Lords are larger than average Emus wearing pointy metal helmets. They terrorize the countryside, leading flocks of hypnotized Emu brigands, and are the cause of many wars. Strangely enough, no one has given any thought to their origins or goals. Mostly everyone wants to know where they get the little helmets from. Many speak Common, but they seem to be wildly xenophobic to non-bird species, and so talk very rarely.


Aura of Leadership (Su): The Emu Lord exerts an effect on allies in it's vicinity. Projecting an aura is a swift action. The aura remains in effect until the Emu Lord uses a free action to dismiss it. An Emu Lords aura affects all allies within 60 feet (excluding itself). An Emu Lords aura is dismissed if it is dazed, unconscious, stunned, paralyzed, or otherwise unable to consciously direct it's allies. Allies may add the Emu Lords Charisma Modifier to attack rolls, skill checks, saving throws and Armor Class while within the aura. These are Circumstance Bonuses that do not stack. Allies also gain DR x/-, where x equals the Emu Lord's Charisma modifier.

Dominate Emu (Sp): The Emu Lord can cast Dominate Animal at will as a 5th Level Sorcerer. Unlike normal, the duration is one day per Level, and only works on Emus.

Grant Move Action (Ex): The Emu Lord can direct and motivate it's allies to act immediately. Three times per day, as a standard action, it may grant an extra move action to any or all of it's allies within 30 feet (but not to itself). Each of the affected allies takes this extra move action immediately, acting in their current initiative order. This extra action does not affect the allies' initiative count; the round continues normally after the Emu Lords turn is over. (This may mean, for example, that an ally whose initiative count immediately follows the Emu Lords may get an extra move action from the Emu Lord, followed directly by a full round worth of actions on the ally's turn.). An ally can take only one extra move action per round. (In other words, two Emu Lords can't use this ability on the same ally in the same round.) If an ally chooses not to take the extra move action, it is lost

Frightening Presence (Ex): Emu Lords can unsettle foes with their mere presence. The ability takes effect automatically whenever the Emu Lord attacks, or charges. Creatures within a radius of 30 feet are subject to the effect if they have fewer HD than the Emu Lord. A potentially affected creature that succeeds on a DC 15 Will save (DC 10 + ½ Emu Lord’s HD + Emu Lord’s Cha modifier) remains immune to that Emu Lord’s frightful presence for 24 hours. On a failure, creatures with 3 or less HD become Frighteneed for 1d6 rounds. Emu Lords ignore the frightful presence of other Emu Lords.

Combat: Emu Lords lead from the front, charging into battle with their flock. They peck and kick till whatever is before them stops moving, or they take enough casualties that retreat is necessary.


Emu
Medium Animal
Hit Dice: 1d8+2 (6 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 60 ft. (12 squares)
Armor Class: 13 (+2 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 11
Base Attack/Grapple: +0/+3
Attack: Kick +3 melee (1d6+3)
Full Attack: 1 Kick +3 melee (1d6+3) and 1 Peck -2 melee (1d4+1)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: ---
Special Qualities: Low-light Vision
Saves: Fort +4, Ref +4, Will +1
Abilities: Str 16, Dex 14, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 11
Skills: Jump +3, Listen +3, Spot +3
Feats: Endurance, Run (B)
Environment: Warm Plains
Organization: Solitary, Pair or Flock (3 to Eleventy Billion)
Challenge Rating: 1/2
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 2-3 HD (Mebium)
Level Adjustment: ---

Emus are large, gangly birds that look terrifying when they run, because they flap about so much you're just never sure what they're up to.

Combat: Emus usually run, but every so often one gets the Devil in him and starts some fuss.





Emu, Lord

"We're supposed to be looking for cryptids, how the Hell did we manage to arrive in the middle of some sort of war?"

"The cryptid is said to have inspired the war Jim."

Warmongers

"Harlan, you teleported me into a skirmish between Elves and giant birds!"

"No worries Jim, you still have the cube of force."


Terrifying, Even With The Teeny Little Helmets

"Let me see if I can ask this bird what's going on. Excuse me, sir?"

"DESTROY!"

"He doesn't appear very cooperative Jim."

"He seems determined to peck through that forcewall though.."

[Metastachydium]

Centhahx

(…)

Attack: Bite +27 melee (3d6+9) and Eye Rays +22 ranged touch (varies)
Full Attack: Bite +27 melee (3d6+9) and Eye Rays +22 ranged touch (varies)

I think I might be missing something here. +22 BAB +6 STR/+0 DEX -2 size should give +26 melee and +20 ranged to-hit.

Skills: Decipher Script +24, Intimidate +21, Knowledge (Arcana, Dungeoneering, Geography, History) +24, Listen +25, Search +28, Spot +29, Use Magic Device +23

I count one more skill point spent than available.

5 Beneficiary: This configuration allows Centhahx to possess a corpse placed no more than 30 feet from it. This corpse has the abilities of the original base creature with the Zombie template, but with Centhahx's mental ability scores and skills. This possession lasts for 1d6 weeks, and then the magic holding the body together unravels, and Centhahx returns to it's clockwork template, but Centhahx's skills and mental ability scores.

I'm not sure I understand the last sentence there. It's missing a verb or something.

Flight (Su): Centhahx can fly as the spell, as a free action, at a speed of 40 feet. This also grants it a permanent featherfall effect with personal range.

Careful there! Most official creatures with this have it specified in their description that they can cease or resume flight as a free action. Worded as it is, it suggests they get free action movement which is wild.

"You and I have done this before. This is where you first died many long years ago, in a way that made resurrection impossible. Fortunately I'd already prepared a clone of you.

And it comes to light at last! Honestly, I expected something more sinister going on with Jim being a clone, given that Harlan's, well, Harlan.

Chiropterid

'Handwinged-like' is a weird name for a wingless critter, I have to say. Otherwise, these are real cute.

Skills: Listen +12, Search +5, Spot +9, Survival +7

And they appear to have two more skill points to spend!

Swat (Ex): If the Chiropterid successfully Stuns an opponent with it's Sonic Pulse it may make one Claw Attack as an immediate action.

That should be swift or free, unless the bat thing's supposed to swat stuff outside its turn.

Dire Vampire Squid

(…)

Attack: Grab +8 (Grapple)
Full Attack: Grab +8 (Grapple)

Where's the +8 coming from? Should be +7 if it's really just a grapple check.

Special Attacks: Disorienting Display, Improved Grab, Beak, Grappler
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Immunities, Hide in Plain Sight, Mucus Burst, Blindsense 30 ft., Burst of Speed, Limb Regeneration, Amorphous Body

That's quite the cluster of special abilities on a 4 HD thing. All of them make plenty of sense being there, but still.

Headless Mule

Heh. Nothing to comment on here, but I must say I like it. I'm low-key surprised the Organization line doesn't include a gaggle of stoners chilling in its aura at all times, though.

Giant, Vampire

(…)

Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., Low-light Vision, Regeneration 5

Exact mechanism for regeneration unspecified (does this mean "the usual acid/fire"?).

The Giants feel certain this is not an improvement.

But hey, at least they aren't shining!

Emu, Lord

MORE BIRDIES! And what lovely birdies at that! (Have you been to the Down-Below recently?)

Hit Dice: 4d10+8 (30 hp)

These are tougher birdies than that! CON 18 should give 4d10+16 (38 hp).

Special Attacks: Aura of Leadership, Dominate Emu, Grant Move Action, Frightening Presence

Like marshal but better and also a bird? Sign me up on that.

Mostly everyone wants to know where they get the little helmets from.

[Maniacal grin.]

Emu

(…)

Skills: Jump +3, Listen +2, Spot +3

I think these guys have one more skill point to spend.

Emus are large, gangly birds that look terrifying when they run, because they flap about so much you're just never sure what they're up to.

Victory over Australia! Obviously.

"Harlan, you teleported me into a skirmish between Elves and giant birds!"

Die, elves, die!

[Bhu]

Careful there! Most official creatures with this have it specified in their description that they can cease or resume flight as a free action. Worded as it is, it suggests they get free action movement which is wild.

It's exactly how it's worded in the Beholder entry in the MM (damn tough them Beholders). I has made edits to all the entries.

That's quite the cluster of special abilities on a 4 HD thing. All of them make plenty of sense being there, but still.

I could've added more lol. Vampire squids are darn weird critters.


There will be 6 Kaiju Level critters this week (2 of which will be birdies).

[Metastachydium]

I could've added more lol. Vampire squids are darn weird critters.

Heh. They sure are.

There will be 6 Kaiju Level critters this week (2 of which will be birdies).

CAN'T. WAIT.

[Bhu]

The Black Eye
Gargantuan Aberration
Hit Dice: 36d8+288 (450 hp)
Initiative: +7
Speed: 10 ft. (2 squares), Fly 30 ft. (good), Swim 50 ft.
Armor Class: 26 (-4 Size, -1 Dex, +21 Natural), touch 5, flat-footed 26
Base Attack/Grapple: +27/+52
Attack: Eye Rays +22 ranged touch and 1 Tentacle +37 melee (2d6+13)
Full Attack: Eye Rays +22 ranged touch, 10 Tentacles +37 melee (2d6+13), and 1 Bite +34 melee (3d6+6)
Space/Reach: 20 ft./15 ft. (tentacles 30 ft)
Special Attacks: Baleful Flash, Constrict 3d8+13, Eye Rays, Improved Grab, Persistent Image
Special Qualities: All-Around Vision, Dark Vision 60 ft., Flight, Damage Reduction 15/-, Black Skin
Saves: Fort +22, Ref +11, Will +26
Abilities: Str 36, Dex 8, Con 26, Int 12, Wis 18, Cha 24
Skills: Hide +8 (+28 at night), Listen +35, Search +35, Spot +39, Survival +12 (+14 following tracks)
Feats: Ability Focus (Baleful Flash), Alertness, Fling Enemy*, Flyby Attack, Great Fortitude, Hover, Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Large and In Charge, Multiattack, Multigrab*, Superior Initiative*, Weapon Focus (Tentacle)
Environment: Cold Aquatic
Organization: Unique
Challenge Rating: 18
Treasure: Double Standard
Alignment: Neutral Evil
Advancement: 37+ HD
Level Adjustment: ---

* See Savage Species or Epic Handbook

"I won't risk pirates. We'll change course and head into the South Ocean. They won't chase us there."

"But what about the rumors about the South Ocean sir? About the ships disappearing and the monsters?"

The creature known as the Black Eye began life as a humble Eye of the Deep. Upon being spawned it was jet black with milky pupil less eyes. Instead of the normal claws it had 10 long ropey black tentacles, 2 of which had functional hands. Normally such a mutation would have been killed by its parent, but the Eye was lucky and rivals had determined to take out his progenitor when it was at its weakest. The Eye was the only member of his brood to escape in the chaos. It grew enormous over time, intelligent but still feral. The Eye is now a legend in the ocean it haunts, plaguing the shipping lanes.

Baleful Flash (Su): Once per round, as a free action the Eye can generate a gigantic flash of light in a 120 ft.cone from its central eye. Opponents in the cone must make a DC 38 Fortitude Save or be Blinded for 3d6 rounds and Stunned for half that duration. A successful save negates the Stun and reduces the blindness to Dazzled. Sightless creatures are immune to this effect. Save DC is Constitution based.

Constrict (Ex): The Eye deals 3d8+13 damage with a successful Grapple check.

Eye Rays (Su): The Eye has 2 eye rays with a range of 250 feet, and a Save DC of 35 (Save DC is Charisma based) that it can use once per round as a free action. Caster Level equals the Eye's Hit Dice. The first eye produces a Hold Monster effect (DC 35 Will Save), the second produces a Cone of Cold (DC 35 Reflex Save, only effects target touched by the ray). Save DC's are Charisma based.

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Eye hits with a tentacle attack it can attempt a Grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check it may constrict.

Persistent Image (Sp): As a standard action the Eye may create a Persistent Image as the spell of the same name (caster level equals the Eyes Hit Dice). Willpower Save DC is 22. It cant use the Eye rays in the same round it casts Persistent Image. Save DC is Charisma based.

All-Around Vision (Ex): The Black Eyes many eyes give it a +4 racial bonus on Spot and Search checks, and it cannot be flanked.

Black Skin (Ex): At night or in dark areas the Black Eye has a +8 Circumstance Bonus to Hide checks, and does not receive a penalty to Hide checks due to Size.

Flight (Ex): The Eyes body is naturally buoyant granting it a permanent Feather Fall effect as per the spell of the same name with personal range.

Combat: Initially the Eye will use it's Persistent Image to distract guards on a ships crew at night. It will then use it's Flash to blind them, and pull them over the side to drown. It will do this on multiple nights to whittle down the crew it's facing before finally attacking.


The Black Eye

"Harlan I question the wisdom of this."

"But Jim, it will be a feather in our cap if we can prove The Black Eye exists."

A Lone Mutant

"Giant Beholder-kin do not make for fun interviews."

"No worries Jim, I speak their language, and I'm well versed in Beholder-kin diplomacy."


Ironically, It's Eyes Are The Very Opposite of Black

"Harlan, the hill we're standing behind just blinked..."

"And so we meet our old friend Teleportation again..."

[Bhu]

GAK, SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNN
Colossal+ Outsider
Hit Dice: 70d8+1260 (1575 hp)
Initiative: +4
Speed: 60 ft. (12 squares), Fly 240 ft. (Clumsy)
Armor Class: 56 (-8 Size, +4 Dex, +30 Natural, +20 Deflection), touch 26, flat-footed 52
Base Attack/Grapple: +70/+104
Attack: Peck +81 melee (12d6+18/19-20)
Full Attack: 1 Peck +81 melee (12d6+18/19-20) and 2 Scratches +75 melee (8d6+9)
Space/Reach: 40 ft./40 ft.
Special Attacks: Planetfall, Nonstop Squawking, Trample (4d12+24), Frightful Presence, Ultimate Bawk
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 240 ft., Immunities, SR 41, DR 40/Epic, Fast Healing 20, Energy Resistance 25 (Acid, Electricity, Sonic)
Saves: Fort +59, Ref +41, Will +44
Abilities: Str 46, Dex 18, Con 46, Int 5, Wis 24, Cha 35
Skills: Climb +57, Intimidate +51, Jump +57, Knowledge (Geography, Wildspace*) +26, Listen +36, Search +36, Spot +37, Survival +46, Swim +57, Use Magic Device +26
Feats: Adroit Flyby Attack (Draconomicon), Awesome Blow, Cleave, Combat Reflexes, Devastating Critical (Peck, Epic), Dodge, Epic Fortitude (Epic), Flyby Attack, Great Cleave, Great Flyby Attack (Savage Species), Hover, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical (Peck), Improved Flyby Attack (Savage Species), Improved Snatch, Large and in Charge (Draconomicon), Mobility, Multisnatch (Draconomicon), Overwhelming Critical (Peck, Epic), Power Attack, Power Critical (Peck, Deities and Demigods), Snatch, Weapon Focus (Peck), Wingover
Environment: Any
Organization: Unique
Challenge Rating: 34
Treasure: Triple Standard
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 71+ HD (Colossal)
Level Adjustment: ---

* see Spelljammer.org

"Bert...Bert a giant meteor crushed that town over yonder!"

"You woke me up for that?

"Well it ain't every night a giant space rock destroys a city. What if there are more? Wait...is it movin'?"

"Go back to sleep Abner."

"BAWK! BAWK BAWK BAWK BAWK BAAAAAAAAAAAAAWK!"

"Saddle the horse Abner. Sleep doesn't look like it's waitin' for us tonight..."

The being known as Gak! Spaaaace Chiiiiiiickkkeeeeeeeeeeeennn (insert echo effect here), is an odd being traveling through space visiting planets looking for something. At least it appears to be that way. He (everyone calls Gak a him) always makes scratching and nosing about as if looking for something his first priority after he falls from the sky. Gak appears as a vaguely chickenlike entity with leathery grey hide as opposed to feathers, stubby wings that shouldn't support it's body weight, deely bobber antennae, and an odd crest that runs from the top of it's head down it's back. It also has huge glowing eyes, and screams and babbles almost nonstop, causing instant hatred in all who encounter it as they pray for it to just shut up. While Gak appears to be speaking a language, no one has yet deciphered what it is (although no one has used magical means of communicating yet either).

Planetfall (Ex): When Gak initially visits a planet, he simply falls from the sky doing 40d6 Force damage in a 500 ft. area. Those in the area get a DC 63 Reflex Save for half damage, Save DC is Con based.

Nonstop Squawking (Ex): Gak never shuts up. Ever. As long as he is conscious, so is everything else within the next few miles. Anything within 120 ft. of Gak must make a DC63 Listen check to hear anything anyone else says, possibly ruining any language dependent effects as you simply cant hear them (Save DC is Con based, and the DC is lowered by -5 for every 10 ft. past the normal 120 ft. range). Bards must make a Level Check against Gak for their Bardic Music to work. Anything failing the Save once is permanently Deafened as well.

Ultimate Bawk (Su): Gak unleashes a horrifyingly loud bawk that can be heard over an area of roughly 50 miles. It may do this once per day. The Ultimate Bawk does 35d6 Sonic damage in an area of 50 ft. For every 5 ft. past the initial 50 ft. area damage drops by 1d6, and for every 10 ft. past the Save DC lowers by 5. Opponents in this area can make a DC 57 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Charisma based) for half damage. Opponents who fail the Save are also permanently deafened.

Trample (Ex): DC 63 Reflex Save for half damage (Save DC is Strength Based).

Frightful Presence (Ex): Any creature who has less Hit Dice than Gak and is within 240 ft. of him when he lands, attacks, or flies overhead must make a DC 57 Willpower Save or be Panicked for 2d6 rounds (Save DC is Charisma based). If the Save is Successful the opponent is Shaken for the duration of the encounter instead.

Immunities (Ex): Gak is immune to Mind Influencing Effects, poison, sleep effects, paralysis, disease, and ability drain/damage. He is also immune to Cold, Fire and Falling Damage.

Combat: Gak tends to Bawk before charging. He is not a genius.



Gak, Space Chicken

"Well something leveled this town..."

"It reeks of strange energies here."

Destroyer of Worlds!

"What could have made this crater? And where did it go?"

"Well...there were rumors of a giant monster falling from the sky..."


What It Wants Is A Mystery

"Jebus, are we doing another cryptid episode?"

"BAKAW!"

"Maybe..."

[Bhu]

Titan Budgie (aka the Dire Peep)
Colossal Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 36d10+360 (558 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 60 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 32 (-8 Size, +30 Natural), touch 2, flat-footed 32
Base Attack/Grapple: +36/+67
Attack: Peck +43 melee (8d6+22/19-20)
Full Attack: 2 Pecks +43 melee (8d6+22/19-20)
Space/Reach: 30 ft./30 ft.
Special Attacks: Trample (8d8+22)
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, DR 15/-, SR 30
Saves: Fort +30, Ref +20, Will +12
Abilities: Str 40, Dex 10, Con 30, Int 1, Wis 10, Cha 14
Skills: Listen +13, Search +8, Spot +13
Feats: Awesome Blow, Cleave, Great Cleave, Greater Mighty Roar, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical (Bite), Mighty Roar, Multisnatch, Overwhelming Critical (Bite), Power Attack, Snatch, Stamp, Weapon Focus (Bite)*
Environment: Warm or Temperate Plains
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Flock (3-6)
Challenge Rating: 18
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 37-72 HD (Colossal)
Level Adjustment: ---

* All feats not found in the PHB are from Savage Species or the Draconomicon.

"Screw this Bert. Lets just refund their money."

PEEEEP!!!

Titan Budgies are the unfortunate side effect of a prank at a wizards college. Superficially they resemble baby chicks, or songbirds who have grown so massive that their wings have atrophied and they can no longer fly. They spend much of their time pecking about for food or peeping in a surprisingly loud bass voice. Titan Budgies are also notoriously territorial and will crush or run off anything larger than Medium Size class that gets in their domain (medium size critters are for light snacking). It is highly rumored that the mages responsible died or fled the Plane. Many locals whose farms the Titan Budgies have uprooted would very desperately like to know the truth of this. And it's not because they expect to sodomize them with a pitchfork or something cliche. Really, they swear.

Trample (Ex): DC 41 Reflex Save for Half Damage.

Combat: Titan Budgies normally use their Trample attacks against annoying small critters unless they're feeling hungry. Then they peck.




Titan Budgie

"So we're looking for some form of infant land dwelling Roc?"

"More or less."

The Big Peep!

"What could possibly interest the office in this?"

"It fits our shows current theme, and they're supposed to be cute. The audience is a sucker for cute."


Do Not Approach!

"Uh, Harlan...I can see one, and it's not so cute from here..."

"PEEEP!"

"You still have that cube of force right? Cause I'm out of spells for the day."

[Bhu]

Kraken, Ammonoid
Gargantuan Magical Beast (Aquatic)
Hit Dice: 20d10+220 (330 hp)
Initiative: +3
Speed: Swim 15 ft. (3 squares)
Armor Class: 30 (-4 Size, -1 Dex, +25 Natural), touch 5, flat-footed 30
Base Attack/Grapple: +20/+45
Attack: Tentacle +29 melee (1d8+13)
Full Attack: 6 Tentacles +29 melee (1d8+13) and 1 Bite +24 melee (4d6+6)
Space/Reach: 20 ft./15 ft. (30 ft. with tentacles)
Special Attacks: Improved Grab, Constrict (1d8+13)
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60 ft., Ink Cloud, Low Light Vision, Spell Like Abilities, Hard Shelled
Saves: Fort +22, Ref +11, Will +10
Abilities: Str 36, Dex 9, Con 30, Int 18, Wis 18, Cha 18
Skills: Concentration +20, Diplomacy +14, Hide +1, Intimidate +18, Knowledge (Geography, Nature) +14, Listen +16, Search +14, Sense Motive +14, Spot +16, Survival +14, Swim +31, Use Magic Device +14
Feats: Alertness, Blind-Fight, Defensive Sweep (PHB2), Improved Initiative, Improved Toughness, Multiattack, Multigrab (Savage Species)
Environment: Warm Aquatic
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 12
Treasure: Triple Standard
Alignment: Usually Neutral Evil
Advancement: 21-32 HD (Gargantuan), 33-60 HD (Colossal)
Level Adjustment: ---


"If you see any large shells on the sea floor during the dive, get out of there immediately".

There are reports of odd Krakens with spiraled shells protecting their bodies. If possible they may even be more surly and aggressive than their counterparts, but do not display as much intellectual prowess (which is not to say that they are dumb, they still tend to make plans for ambushes). Ammonoid Krakens tend to live in comparatively shallow waters, and are therefore a bit more of a threat than usual.

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Kraken successfully hits with a tentacle attack it may make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.

Constrict (Ex): A Kraken does 1d8+13 damage with a Grapple check.

Ink Cloud (Ex): A kraken can emit a cloud of jet-black ink in an 80-foot spread once per minute as a free action. The cloud provides total concealment, which the kraken normally uses to escape a fight that is going badly. Creatures within the cloud are considered to be in darkness.

Spell Like Abilities (Sp): 1/day: Control Winds, Forestfold, Turbidity, Waterspout. Caster Level 9, Save DC's are Charisma Based. See Stormwrack and Spell Compendium for some spells.

Skills: Krakens have a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim checks, and may always Take 10 on a Swim Check. They may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.

Hard Shelled (Ex): The Krakens hard shell give it a 75% chance of ignoring a Critical Hit.

Combat: Ammonoid Krakens like to use their spells to sink ships, and then pick the crew off one by one. An opponent can make sunder attempts against a kraken’s tentacles as if they were weapons. A kraken’s tentacles have 10 hit points. If a kraken is currently grappling a target with one tentacle, it usually uses another limb to make its attack of opportunity against the sunder attempt. Severing a kraken’s tentacle deals damage to the kraken equal to 5 hit points. A kraken usually withdraws from combat if it loses three of it's tentacles. A kraken regrows severed limbs in 1d10+10 days.



Ammonoid Kraken

"What the hell are we doing in a submersible in the middle of the Dark Sea?"

"We're looking for an old friend Jim. He told me he knows of a Ghost that used to be a Kraken."

The Eldest of Krakens

"We're looking for a giant ghost..."

"In theory, yes."


Sinking Ships For The Funsies

"Um...there's a Kraken off the port side..."

"Can't be, it has a shell."

"I beg your pardon, I am so a Kraken!"

"My apologies good sir. We're looking for the whereabouts of a fellow named 'Old Bob', might you know of his whereabouts?."

"Turn left at the Archipelago, and go 5 miles straight down. Can't miss him.

"Is the sub rated for that depth?"

[Bhu]

http://www.sapphire-steele.com/tim/06_05.jpg


Cirrate Kraken
Gargantuan Magical Beast (Aquatic)
Hit Dice: 20d10+180 (290 hp)
Initiative: +5
Speed: Swim 20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class: 21 (-4 Size, +1 Dex, +14 Natural), touch 7, flat-footed 20
Base Attack/Grapple: +20/+42
Attack: Engulf +26 melee touch (grapple)
Full Attack: Engulf +26 melee touch (grapple)
Space/Reach: 20 ft./15 ft.
Special Attacks: Improved Grab, Constrict (8d6+10)
Special Qualities: Blindness, 360 ft. Blindsight, Psi-Like Abilities
Saves: Fort +21, Ref +13, Will +13
Abilities: Str 30, Dex 12, Con 29, Int 24, Wis 20, Cha 20
Skills: Autohypnosis +20, Concentration +29, Hide +12, Intimidate +20, Knowledge (Psionics) +22, Knowledge (Nature) +22, Listen +22, Search +22, Sense Motive +20, Spot +22, Survival +20, Swim +33, Use Psionic Device +22
Feats: Alertness, Blind-Fight, Combat Manifestation, Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Skill Focus: Hide, Power Penetration
Environment: Cold Aquatic
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 12
Treasure: Triple Standard
Alignment: Usually Neutral Evil
Advancement: 21-32 HD (Gargantuan), 33-60 HD (Colossal)
Level Adjustment: ---

"We are NOT steering this ship into deeper waters. I've seen whats down there, and I barely escaped the last time..."

Cirrate Kraken live 7000 meters or more below the surface. Due to being nearly blind, and having no ink or jets, many believe them to be among the most primitive of Krakens. This is untrue, they are merely better adapted to their lightless environment. Cirrate Krakens speak Aquan and Sahuagin (maybe Common as well).

Blindsight (Ex): The Cirrate Kraken has Blindsight with a range of 360 feet.

Improved Grab (Ex): Cirrate Kraken can make a Grapple Check without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.

Constrict (Ex): The Cirrate Kraken does 8d6+10 with a successful Grapple check.

Blindness (Ex): The Cirrate Kraken is blind despite having eyes, and relies on it's Blindsight to "see". It is immune to gaze attacks, visual effects, illusions, and other attack forms that rely on sight.

Psi-Like Abilities (Ps): The Kraken may manifest the following powers as Psi Like abilities once per day: Chameleon, False Sensory Input, Insanity, Psychotic Break (Complete Psionic). Manifester Level is 13.

Skills: Kraken have a +8 Racial Bonus on all Swim checks, and may always Take 10 on a Swim check.

Combat: While the webbing between their tentacles discourages grappling multiple foes, one on one fights are deadly as it can bring all it's mucous lined tentacles to bear against one opponent. Cirrates tend to hide, and ambush opponents one by one.



Cirrate Kraken

"Bob! Jolly good to see you again old fellow!"

"My goodness Harlan, what are you doing this far down? Don't you know how scary the Superdeep is? There are things down here!"

"What sort of things?"

"Titans, Dead Gawds, that sort of thing. Spooky stuff, even for me."

The Rarest of Krakens

"I'm looking for that ghost you mentioned Bob.

"He pops in and out of the Ethereal, usually out in the open sea. Good luck finding it, even I've only 'seen' it a few times."


Psychic Krakens...As If The Regular Ones Weren't Bad Enough

"Sigh...we're still doing this aren't we?"

"Indeed."

"Good luck Haarlan! Pop back in for tea before you leave."

"Tea?"

"Old Bob has quite the sense of humor."

[Bhu]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5hEmZCuX0Y

Ghost Kraken
Gargantuan Magical Beast (Aquatic)
Hit Dice: 20d10+180 (290 hp)
Initiative: +5
Speed: Swim 20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class: 21 (-4 Size, +1 Dex, +14 Deflection), touch 21, flat-footed 20
Base Attack/Grapple: +20/+42
Attack: Tentacle +26 melee (1d6+10)
Full Attack: 10 Tentacles +26 melee (1d6+10) and 1 Bite +21 melee (3d6+5)
Space/Reach: 20 ft./15 ft. (60 ft. with Tentacles)
Special Attacks: Improved Grab, Constrict (1d6+10)
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 120 ft., Low Light Vision, Spell-Like Abilities, Ethereal Jaunt
Saves: Fort +21, Ref +15, Will +13
Abilities: Str 30, Dex 12, Con 28, Int 20, Wis 20, Cha 24
Skills: Concentration +22, Hide +4, Intimidate +20, Knowledge (Geography, Nature, Arcane) +17, Listen +19, Search +17, Sense Motive +17, Spot +20, Survival +17, Swim +29, Use Magic Device +20
Feats: Alertness, Blind-fight, Combat Expertise, Improved Combat Expertise, Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Lightning Reflexes
Environment: Any Aquatic
Organization: Solitary (possibly unique)
Challenge Rating: 13
Treasure: Triple Standard
Alignment: Neutral Evil
Advancement: 21-32 HD (Gargantuan), 33-60 HD (Colossal)
Level Adjustment: ---

"We find new things in the sea all the time. Considering some of them, it might be preferable if we simply left it alone..."

The Ghost Kraken is a nearly legendary Kraken that seems to shift between the Material and Ethereal Planes. Few people have ever seen it, or perhaps simply few living people have seen it. It's unknown if it's a single mutated individual, or a new species.

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Ghost Kraken hits with a Tentacle attack it may perform a Grapple check as a Free Action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it is successful it may Constrict.

Constrict (Ex): A Ghost Kraken does 1d6+10 damage with a successful Grapple check.

Spell-Like Abilities (Sp): A Ghost Kraken may cast Blackwater Tentacle, Dark Tide, Evard's Black Tentacles, and Pressure Sphere 1/day. Caster Level is 9th, Save DC's are Charisma Based. See Stormwrack for spells.

Ethereal Jaunt (Su): A Ghost Kraken can shift from the Ethereal Plane to the Material as a Free Action, and move back again as a Move Action (or during a Move Action). The ability is otherwise identical to the spell of the same name (Caster Level is equal to Hit Dice).

Skills: Kraken have a +8 Racial Bonus on all Swim checks, and may always Take 10 on a Swim check.

Combat: Ghost Krakens tend to phase into the Material Plane, unleash a spell or two to wreak havoc, and then shift back. Or they'll shift in and out making tentacle attacks. An opponent can make sunder attempts against a kraken’s tentacles as if they were weapons. A kraken’s tentacles have 10 hit points. If a kraken is currently grappling a target with one tentacle, it usually uses another limb to make its attack of opportunity against the sunder attempt. Severing a kraken’s tentacle deals damage to the kraken equal to 5 hit points. A kraken usually withdraws from combat if it loses three of it's tentacles. A kraken regrows severed limbs in 1d10+10 days.



Ghost Kraken
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim and I are coming to you live from the Dark Sea!"

Okay, NOW It's The Rarest Of Krakens
"We're now transmitting footage of the legendary Ghost Kraken, live on palantir!."

"What's that in front of it Jim?"

Even Scares The Dead

"It would appear a swarm of ghosts followed it over from the Ethereal."

"Look at them go!

Several Hours Later

"Harlan, I want a vacation."

"But Jim, we're doing so well right now!"

"Harlan, most of our cryptid segments have been frauds, caster creations, or world altering eldritch horrors. I need a break."

"Well...the Gnomish Military is hosting their annual review for arms and armor dealers. We could go shopping for backup's to the cube of force."

"That'll work."

[Metastachydium]

The Black Eye
Gargantuan Aberration
Hit Dice: 36d8+288 (450 hp)
Initiative: +3

It has Superior Initiative. That should be +7.

Baleful Flash (Su): As a free action

Well, I sure hope that was supposed to be a free action once per round.

GAK, SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNN

Oh, YESSSSS! Here. We. Go!

Skills: Climb +57, Intimidate +51, Jump +57, Knowledge (Geography, Wildspace*) +36, Listen +46, Search +36, Spot +46, Survival +46, Swim +57, Use Magic Device +26

I count 49 more skill points spent than available.

Ultimate Bawk (Su): Gak unleashes a horrifyingly loud bawk that can be heard over an area of roughly 50 miles. It may do this once per day. The Ultimate Bawk does 35d6 Sonic damage in an area of 50 ft. For every 5 ft. past the initial 50 ft. area damage drops by 1d6, and for every 10 ft. past the Save DC lowers by 5. Opponents in this area can make a DC 57 Reflex Save (Save DC is Charisma based) for half damage. Opponents who fail the Save are also permanently deafened.

I think a Fort save would work better here.

The being known as Gak! Spaaaace Chiiiiiiickkkeeeeeeeeeeeennn (insert echo effect here), is an odd being traveling through space visiting planets looking for something. At least it appears to be that way. He (everyone calls Gak a him) always makes scratching and nosing about as if looking for something his first priority after he falls from the sky. Gak appears as a vaguely chickenlike entity with leathery grey hide as opposed to feathers, stubby wings that shouldn't support it's body weight, deely bobber antennae, and an odd crest that runs from the top of it's head down it's back. It also has huge glowing eyes, and screams and babbles almost nonstop, causing instant hatred in all who encounter it as they pray for it to just shut up. While Gak appears to be speaking a language, no one has yet deciphered what it is (although no one has used magical means of communicating yet either).

Let me tell you, I'm so loving everything about this big bird, crunch and fluff alike!

Titan Budgie (aka the Dire Dire Pigeon)

And this is where I get sad.

they're (…) cute. The audience is a sucker for cute

Harlan knows your audience well! These are incredibly cute.

Challenge Rating: 19

But they are… Lacking, in several other respects. They have, well, pretty much nothing other than a DR that would have been relevant 24 HD ago. I mean, low-light vision and that Trample are really not much anything at this range. Everything that's wrong about the Tarrasque and makes it a joke for its CR is wrong with these guys as well and they don't even get a fraction of the Tarrasque's defenses for their trouble. Heck, they aren't even strong for their size! If we peel off those STR bonuses… [Shudders.] This isn't CR 19. These guys would struggle at the roc's CR 9. I'm sad. Really, really sad.

♣

I'll look at the krakens later.

[Bhu]

I was basing CR off some of the Behemoth Animals, but I take your point. I'll revise them a bit.

[Metastachydium]

So, krakens:

Kraken, Ammonoid
Gargantuan Magical Beast (Aquatic)
Hit Dice: 20d8+220 (310 hp)

Magical Beast; 20d10+220 (330 hp).

Spell Like Abilities (Sp): 1/day: Control Winds

Control Currents^Storm would perhaps be a better fit?

Cirrate Kraken

(…)

Attack: Engulf

That's one hell of a confusing name. I kept looking for the Engulf SA in the SA line and text before I realized it's just a name for what it does and it doesn't actually Engulf.

Special Qualities: Blindness, 360 ft. Blindsight

(…)

Blindness (Ex): The Cirrate Kraken is blind despite having eyes, and relies on it's Blindsense to "see". It is immune to gaze attacks, visual effects, illusions, and other attack forms that rely on sight.

Is it Blindsense or Blindsight? Either way, it would bear listing separately.

Ghost Kraken
Gargantuan Magical Beast (Aquatic)
Hit Dice: 20d8+180 (290 hp)

20d10; hp's correct, though.

Skills: Concentration +22, Hide +2, Intimidate +20, Knowledge (Geography, Nature, Arcane) +17, Listen +19, Search +17, Sense Motive +17, Spot +20, Survival +17, Swim +29, Use Magic Device +20

Unless I'm mistaken, it still has two skill points available for spending.

I was basing CR off some of the Behemoth Animals, but I take your point. I'll revise them a bit.

Thanks. Behemoths are not the best point of reference here, given that they are Outsiders with SA/SQs.

[Bhu]

Thanks. Behemoths are not the best point of reference here, given that they are Outsiders with SA/SQs.

In my defense I'd forgotten the type change because I didn't have the errata. I've made changes give them a look now.

[Metastachydium]

In my defense I'd forgotten the type change because I didn't have the errata. I've made changes give them a look now.

GO BIRDY! DESTROY ALL IN YOUR PATH! Which is to say, much better, thanks, although make sure you update HD/hp. That should be 36d10+360 (558 hp) now.

[Bhu]

Armored Turtle
Small Construct
Hit Dice: 4d10+10 (32 hp)
Initiative: -1
Speed: 10 ft. (2 squares)
Armor Class: 18 (+1 Size, +8 Natural, -1 Dex), touch 10, flat-footed 18
Base Attack: +3/ +0
Attack: Bite + 5 melee (1d3+1) or Lesser Orb of Fire +3 Ranged Touch (1d8)
Full Attack: Bite +5 melee (1d3+1) or Lesser Orb of Fire +3 Ranged Touch (1d8)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./ 5 ft.
Special Attacks: Lesser Orb of Fire
Special Qualities: Construct Traits, Damage Reduction 5/Adamantine, Dark Vision 60 ft., low-light Vision
Saves: Fort +1, Ref +0, Will +1
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 8, Con --, Int --, Wis 11, Cha 1
Skills: ---
Feats: ---
Environments: Any
Organization: Solitary, Gang (2-4), or Battalion (10-40)
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 5-8 HD (Medium), 9-12 HD (large)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Before you is a clockwork turtle roughly 3 feet in diameter with a turret of some sort in its shell. Obviously it must be a Gnome creation, only they would be so gauche..."

Armored Turtles were created by the Gnomish nations to meet a need for armored fire platforms, as most of their own people were unwilling to fill that role. They became immensely popular, and many variations were made, some quite large. Armored Turtle battalions were snuck into enemy territory and allowed to lay waste to it with their fire before being mothballed until the next time they were needed. Most of them are the size of a particularly fat halfling, and weigh about 200 pounds or more. They appear as clockwork turtles of varying appearance with a wand mounted on their back.

Lesser Orb of Fire (Sp): Once every other round the Turtle may 'cast' Lesser Orb of Fire from the turret in its back. Caster level is equal to the Turtles Hit Dice. Some Turtles have one of the other Lesser Orb spells, but these are uncommon (it's always been said Tinker Gnomes were closet firebugs). Medium or larger Armored Turtles are usually upgraded to the Orb of Fire spell.

Combat: Armored Turtle are pretty straight forward. They simply hold position and fire away with their Lesser Orb of Fire. If anyone gets close they bite. Usually though, their masters try to ensure the battleground is highly flammable, making crossing to the turtles difficult.

Construction: An Armored Turtle is made from 235 pounds of steel treated with rare alchemical compounds costing at least 500 GP. Assembling the Body requires a DC 20 Craft (clockworks) check.

CL 11th; Craft Construct (see MM page 303), Animate Object, Geas/Quest, Lesser Orb of Fire, Caster must be 11th Level. Price 6000 GP; Cost 3000 GP + 120 XP



Armored Turtle
"Hurray, hurray hurray, step right up! SEE the newest and greatest in military gear! SEE the new year model Golems! SEE the six million gold piece hamster!"

"Harlan Jergens and Jim Bauer here on official business. We're press."

Slow Moving Fire Support

"I can't believe the office is paying for this. Sucks that it's a working vacation though."

"Is that a clockwork turtle?"

"Apparently there have been Autognome updates?"


Like, Literaally Fire Support
"Greetings gentlemen, I see you've noticed our M1 Support Turtle!"

"Is that a wand in it's back?."

"Indeed it is sir, set to fire Chromatic Orb on command."

"What damage type?"

"Er...fire."

"So they spam the battlefield with fire? That seems...counter intuitive..."

"There's other settings, fire is just the default."

"Why?"

"We like fire."

[Bhu]

Electric Yak
Large Construct
Hit Dice: 12d10+30 (96 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 18 (-1 Size, +9 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 18
Base Attack: +9/ +20
Attack: Gore + 15 melee (1d10+11)
Full Attack: Gore +15 melee (1d10+11)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./ 5 ft.
Special Attacks: Electrified Charge
Special Qualities: Construct Traits, Damage Reduction 10/ Adamantine, Darkvision 60 ft., Lowlight vision
Saves: Fort +4, Ref +4, Will +4
Abilities: Str 25, Dex 10, Con--, Int --, Wis 11, Cha 1
Skills: ---
Feats: ---
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary, Gang (2-4), Battalion (6-30)
Challenge Rating: 8
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 13-30 HD (large), 31-42 HD (huge)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Is that a robot Yak? Effin' Gnomes. The boss really doesn't pay us enough for this."

Yet another clockwork experiment by the Gnomish Nations, the Electric Yak is considered by some to be increasing proof of their insanity. The Yaks are usually used as cavalry, breaking through opposing forces. It looks much like a clockwork Yak made from high grade steel, with horns that are all sparkly from electricity.

Electrified Charge (Su): When an Electric Yak charges it does 3d6+11 damage, plus an additional 2d6 electrical damage.

Combat: Electric Yaks generally Charge, and then repeatedly gore until their opponent falls or they do. They are unimaginative as fighters, but remain dangerous because of their massed numbers.

Construction: An Electric Yak is made from 2000 pounds of steel treated with rare alchemical compounds costing at least 5000 GP. Assembling the Body requires a DC 20 Craft (clockworks) check.

CL 11th; Craft Construct (see MM page 303), Animate Object, Geas/Quest, Lightning Bolt, Caster must be 11th Level. Price 60000 GP; Cost 30000 GP + 1200 XP



Electric Yak
"Eeeeelectric Yak!
The power you see the energy comin' up, coming on strong!
The future only belongs to the future itself!
And the future is Eeeeelectric Yak!"

"Truly the worst theme song I've heard in recent memory...."

Used For Breaking Through The Front Lines

"What is that humming sound?"

"Is that an electric turbine?"

"Indeed it is good sir! It runs the bad guy zapping horns!"

"Did he just talk to you like you were a child?"


Ironically Safer Than Real Yaks
"I talk to everyone like they were a child sir! I have a speech impediment!"

"That's not a speech impediment, that's being an (beep)."

"We're all (beeps) here sir."

"Truly the worst salesman I have ever seen..."

[Bhu]

Whale Golem
Gargantuan Construct
Hit Dice: 50d10+60 (335 hp)
Initiative: -1
Speed: Swim 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 37 (-4 Size, -1 Dex, +32 Natural), touch 5, Flat-footed 37
Base Attack/ Grapple: +37/ +61
Attack: Tail Slap + 45 melee (6d10+18)
Full Attack: Tail Slap +45 melee (6d10+18)
Space/Reach: 20 ft./ 15 ft.
Special Attacks: Ram, Sonar Blast
Special Qualities: Construct Traits, Damage Reduction 15/ Adamantine, Dark Vision 60 ft. Immunity to Magic, Low-light Vision, Blindsight 120 ft. Cargo
Saves: Fort +16, Ref +15, Will +16
Abilities: Str 35, Dex 8, Con --, Int--, Wis 11, Cha 1
Skills: ----
Feats: ---
Environment: Any aquatic
Challenge Rating: 25
Organization: Solitary
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: ---
Level Adjustment: ---

"A huge clockwork whale bursts from the water and swims into the bay. You can hear gnomish laughter. They've been drinking again..."

The Whale Golem was developed by the Gnomish Nations as a way to explore the seas, not, we repeat not, as a drunken bet as has been widely reported. Why the Gnomes are interested in exploring the oceans is unknown, but since they have a wide range of odd behaviors manifesting in their society no one really questions it. After all there are Gnomes who collect Dragon poop. Bizarre Golems should come as no surprise. Most people believe they made it just to prove they could.


Ram (Ex): Whenever the Whale Golem does a charge it does 8d10+24 damage. If it uses this against a boat it has a 95% chance of capsizing the boat if it is 30 ft. long or less. Boats 31+ feet long have only a 50% chance.

Sonar Blast (Su): Once every 1d4 rounds the Whale Golem can focus it's sonar to unleash a devastating attack in a 120 ft. cone. It loses it's blindsight ability on any turn the Blast is used. Damage is 30d8 sonic and anyone in the cones area of effect must make a DC 39 Fortitude Save or be permanently deafened. They may also make a DC 39 Reflex Save for half damage. Save DC is 10 plus 1/2 hit dice plus a +4 Racial Bonus.

Cargo: The Whale Golem can hold up to 16 small creatures (or 8 Medium) in its cargo hold, and contains enough air for 24 hours before it needs to resurface. Optionally it can hold cargo equal to its heavy encumbrance value.

Immunity to Magic (Ex): A Whale Golem is immune to any spell or spell like ability that allows spell resistance.

Combat: On it's own the Whale Golem will blast any threat with it's Sonar before ramming it and then bludgeoning whatever is left repeatedly. If there are Gnome riders they can give it orders of course.

Construction: A Whale Golem is made from 30 tons of steel treated with rare alchemical compounds costing at least 50000 GP. Assembling the Body requires a DC 25 Craft (clockworks) check.

CL 30th; Craft Construct (see MM page 303), Craft Epic Arms and Armor, Animate Object, Geas/Quest, Cacophonic Burst, Caster must be 30th Level. Price 1000000 GP; Cost 500000 GP + 10000 XP



Whale Golem
"Greetings sirs! May I present the new and improved Whale Golem mark 5!"

"It looks more like a clockwork submersible."

Expensive, But Great For Undersea Adventures

"It is, but Golems sell better than clockwork automatons. The public is fickle."

"Aren't we the public?"

"Indeed."

"No sir, you're the press. I have a great many customers among your kind. You're practically a military unto yourself."

"Are we Harlan?"

"I am legally obligated not to answer."

Dark Secret

"What powers it?"

"We follow whaling ships, and call up the dead souls of the whales to pilot the clockworks."

"Holy (beep)..."

"There's no (beep) here sir."

"We're getting off track here... we need specs."

"We need to run screaming in the opposite direction Harlan."

[Bhu]

Gunpowder Golem
Medium Construct
Hit Dice: 12d10 +20 (75 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 15 (+5 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/ Grapple: +9/ +11
Attack: Slam +10 melee (1d6+2)
Full Attack: 2 Slams +10 melee (1d6+2)
Space/ Reach: 5 ft./ 5 ft.
Special Attacks: Berserk, Engulf
Special Qualities: Construct traits, Damage Reduction 10/Magic, Darkvision 60 ft., Immunity to Magic, low-light vision, Explosive
Saves: Fort +4, Ref +4, Will +4
Abilities: Str 15, Dex 11, Con --, Int --, Wis 11, Cha 1
Skills: ---
Feats: ---
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary or Gang ( 2-4) or battle group (10 –40)
Challenge Rating: 8
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 13-24 HD (medium), 25-36 (large)
Level Adjustment: ---


"A shifting humanoid pile of dark powder shambles toward you. You think it might be a dust or ash golem until it slaps Sergeant Bertrand in the face and subsequently explodes. Here's hoping the rest of the front line doesn't share the sarge's smoking habit."

A Gunpowder Golem is made from gunpowder (or something similar) as it's name implies. It was of course invented by the Gnomes, who like inventing things almost as much as they like seeing them explode. It's also the reason Gnomes are banned in some polite societies. Strangely the Panda Folk also make these golems, and they're known for being an ultra polite society. But then who would suspect cute, innocent pandas of being mad bombers?

Berserk (Ex): When a Gunpowder Golem enters combat there is a cumulative 1% chance per round it goes berserk and attacks the nearest living (or moving) creature near it until none are left. Once a Gunpowder Golem goes berserk there is no known method of re establishing control. Once it has been berserk for 12 rounds, it explodes.

Engulf (Ex): A Gunpowder Golem can attempt to smother an opponent by engulfing it in combat. If it succeeds with a grapple check against an opponent it engulfs it. Instead of regular grapple damage the victim begins to suffocate (see page 304 of the DMG), unless of course the opponent does not require air. Either way, it also blinds the opponent as long as it maintains the Grapple.

Immunity to Magic(Ex): The Gunpowder Golem is immune to any spell or spell like ability that allows spell resistance. The one exception is anything doing fire or electricity damage (see below).

Explosive (Ex): If the Gunpowder Golem takes fire or electricity damage, it must make a Fortitude Save (Save DC equals the damage taken) or it explodes. Damage and the area of effect are based on Size and Hit Dice. Opponents in the area get a DC 20 Reflex Save for half damage unless they are being grappled by the Gunpowder Golem. Save DC is Constitution based with a Racial Bonus based on Size: Medium +4, Large +6. Damage is 1d6 for every Hit Dice the Golem has (i.e. 12d6 for the basic model). Area of Effect depends on the Golems size: Medium is 40 ft. radius, Large is 80 ft. The explosions area of effect is covered by a thick cloud of smoke for 1d6 minutes afterwards (strong winds will dissipate this in 1d6 rounds instead). Entering the smoke has the same effect as breathing heavy smoke (see page 304 of the DMG). Needless to say this explosion also kills the Golem. If the Golem is destroyed in another manner, it's 'lifeless' body is still explosive, and fire or electrical damage will still detonate it.

Combat: Gunpowder Golems realize their explosive nature. They will avoid opponents with fire until they can get close enough to grapple, or do serious damage if fire is used against them. If opponents have no obvious fire they charge in and go straight to the Engulf attack. They generally hit the ground running straight towards targets if they are within range. Gnome mages often teleport them into the midst of foes before hitting them with a Fireball.

Construction: A Gunpowder Golem is made from 200 pounds of gunpowder treated with rare alchemical compounds costing at least 1000 GP. Assembling the Body requires a DC 20 Craft (alchemy) check.

CL 11th; Craft Construct (see MM page 303), Animate Object, Geas/Quest, Fireball, Caster must be 11th Level (+3 CL for every HD over 12). Price 30000 GP; Cost 16000 GP + 640 XP




Gunpowder Golem
"Who wants to see something scary!"

"Regular scary, or Gnome scary?"

More Dangerous Than It's Worth

"Rude.."

"Accurate."

"Ha!"

"Tough crowd...would you like to see a demonstration of the Gunpowder Golem sir?"

"The WHAT??"

"Sweet!"

BOOM!

"Harlan...bad..."

"We cannot recommend a Golem more for breaking enemy fortifications!"

"Its still a bomb."

"There's no smoking here sir."

"Maybe some of us like to live dangerously."

"Harlan!"

[Bhu]

Marble Golem
Large Construct (Fine Construct as a Swarm)
Hit Dice: 11d10+30 (90 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 18 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, + 8 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 17)
Armor Class as a Swarm 20 (+8 Size, +1 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 19, flat-footed 19)
Base Attack/ Grapple: +8/ +16
Attack: Slam + 11 melee (1d8+4)
Full Attack: 2 Slams +11 melee (1d8+4)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./ 10 ft.
Special Attacks: Berserk, Marbles, Distraction
Special Qualities: Construct Traits, Damage Reduction 15/Bludgeoning, Darkvision 60 ft., Immunity to Magic, Low-light Vision, Scattering Death (also Distraction, Immune to Weapon damage, and Swarm traits in Swarm form)
Saves: + 3, Ref +4, Will +3
Abilities: Str 18, Dex 12, Con --, Int – Will 11, Cha 1
Skills: ---
Feats: ---
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary or Gang (2-4)
Challenge Rating: 8
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 12-18 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: ---


"Sweet Jebus I hate Gnomes..."

Marble Golems are humanoid figures composed of thousands of glass balls formerly used as children's toys.

Berserk (Ex): When a Marble Golem enters combat there is a cumulative 1% chance per round it goes berserk and attacks the nearest living (or moving) creature near it until none are left. Once a Marble Golem goes berserk there is no known method of re-establishing control.

Marbles (Ex): Once per round as a Swift action a Marble Golem can scatter and become a Swarm of living, moving marbles. It covers a 20 ft. area, and anything entering the area is subject to a free trip attack that does not provoke an attack of opportunity. If the trip attack is successful, the opponent takes 1d6 damage. The golem itself is considered a swarm of thousands of Fine sized constructs, and has appropriate swarm traits in this form (i.e. Distraction, Immune to Weapon Damage, etc) with 2 exceptions: It doesn't get the usual Swarm attack, just the special trip attacks. And it doesn't suffer the penalties from wind based attacks swarms of Fine sized creatures usually do. It may reform again as a Swift Action as well.

Distraction (Ex): Any living creature that begins its turn with a swarm in its space must succeed on a DC 15 Fortitude save or be nauseated for 1 round. The save DC is Constitution-based. The Marble Golem may only use this attack after it has used it's Marbles ability to temporarily become a Swarm.

Immunity to Magic(Ex): The Marble Golem is immune to any spell or spell like ability that allows spell resistance, with the exception of Shatter.

Scattering Death (Ex): Upon being killed a marble golem covers a 20 ft. area with marbles. Anything entering or leaving this area must make a DC 15 Balance check or fall prone taking 1d6 subdual damage.

Combat: Gnomes usually have Marble Golems act as spoilers, using their Marbles attack to throw the enemy into disarray.

Construction: A Marble Golem is made from 500 pounds of glass marbles treated with rare alchemical compounds costing at least 500 GP. Assembling the Body requires a DC 20 Craft (glassblowing) check.

CL 11th; Craft Construct (see MM page 303), Animate Object, Geas/Quest, Caster must be 11th Level. Price 32000 GP; Cost 16000 GP + 640 XP



Marble Golem
"Greetings sirs! May I present the new Marble Golem!"

"The military must be running low on ideas..."

Not A Children's Toy, And We Shouldn't Have To Say That

"You wound me sir."

"What's it for?"

"Guarding children sir."

"A guardian for children...refresh my memory Harlan, don't Golems occasionally go berserk?"

"Indeed they do."

I Can't Believe This Got Past Marketing

"What's to prevent on of these things from punting a child?"

"Why, our new spirit binding technology sir!"

"So they don't go berserk?"

"Not that you can prove..."

"We're journalists you know."

"Get out."

[Bhu]

Bell Golem
Large Construct
Hit Dice: 12d10+30 (96 hp)
Initiative: -1
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class: 22 (-1 Size, -1 Dex, +14 natural), touch 8, flat-footed 22
Base Attack/ Grapple: +9/+20
Attack: Slam +15 melee (2d10+7+1d10 Sonic)
Full Attack: 2 Slams +15 melee (2d10+7+1d10 Sonic)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./ 10 ft.
Special Attacks: Berserk, Bell-like Fists, Bong
Special Qualities: Construct Traits, Damage Reduction 10/ Adamantine, Darkvision 60 ft., Immunity to Magic, Low-light Vision
Saves: Fort +4, Ref +3, Will +4
Abilities: Str 25, Dex 8, Con --, Int --, Wis 11, Cha 1
Skills: ---
Feats: ---
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary, or Gang (2-4)
Challenge Rating: 10
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 13-18 HD (large), 19 –33 HD (huge)
Level Adjustment: ---

"An' ah swear, standin' in front of the church is a frickin' Golem whose body looks ter be a huge bell. The local clergy is either putting on airs, or one a' them's made a drunken bet again..."

Originally conceived by a group of clerics known for their spectacular displays of public drunkenness, these are primarily the guardians of churches and the like. They appear to be a large, metal, bell shaped humanoid with bell like fists.

Bell-Like Fists (Su): The Bell Golem's hands are replaced with large metal bells that bong loudly when striking a victim doing +1d10 Sonic Damage.

Berserk (Ex): When a Bell Golem enters combat there is a cumulative 1% chance per round it goes berserk and attacks the nearest living (or moving) creature near it until none are left. Once a Bell Golem goes berserk there is no known method of re-establishing control.

Bong (Su): The Bell Golem's somewhat hollow body is a large bell itself, and it bongs loudly when struck, especially by blunt weapons. When hit by a weapon everyone within a 20 ft. radius takes Sonic damage equal to half the damage done by the weapon hit (full damage if it was a blunt weapon).

Immune to Magic (Ex): Bell Golems are immune to any spell or spell like ability that allows Spell Resistance. However, spells doing Sonic Damage cause it to Bong, doing half the spells damage to everyone else within 20 ft.

Combat: Bell Golems tend to wade in and start smacking away. They don't really have any sense of tactics other than to go for opponents with blunt weapons first.

Construction: A Bell Golem is made from 600 pounds of brass and other metals treated with rare alchemical compounds costing at least 2000 GP. Assembling the Body requires a DC 20 Craft (alchemy) check.

CL 11th; Craft Construct (see MM page 303), Animate Object, Geas/Quest, Shout, Caster must be 11th Level. Price 50000 GP; Cost 25000 GP + 1000 XP



Bell Golem
"Good...evening?"

"It is for some us."

Not Many Golems Can Be Attributed To Alcohol, And That's A Shame

"Scuse' me...HWARF!"

"There's something you don't see at a military arms convention every day."

"Ah...how can I ... help you?"

"What in the 9 Hells is that thing?"

"Oh that's the Church Golem."

Church Of Bubnoff Approved!

"Your church approves of day drinking?"

"We're all about the day drinking."

"So what's the deal with the Golem?"

"We made it out of some old church bells."

"So stealth isn't an option. Not that that's an option with most Golems anyway."

"Please stop speaking...it makes my head hurt."

[Bhu]

Putty Panda
Large Construct
Hit Dice: 10d10+30 (85 hp)
Initiative: -1
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class: 22 (-1 Size, -1 Dex, +14 natural), touch 8, flat-footed 22
Base Attack/ Grapple: +7/ +26
Attack: Slam + 13 melee (1d10+7)
Full Attack: 2 slams +13 melee (1d10+7)
Space/ Reach: 10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Berserk, Adhesion, Smother, Improved Grab
Special Qualities: Construct Traits, Damage Reduction 10/ Bludgeoning and Adamantine, Darkvision 60 ft., Immunity to Magic, Low-light
Vision, Immune to Magic
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +2, Will +3
Abilities: Str 25, Dex 8, Con --, Int --, Will 11, Cha 1
Skills: ---
Feats: ---
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary or Gang (2-4)
Challenge Rating: 10
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 11-18 HD (large)
Level Adjustment: ---


"Y'know...even from here I just know that thing is trouble..."

One of the few Golems known whose design is obviously deranged, and that ISN'T a creation of the Gnome Kingdoms, the Putty Pandas are the guardians, and sometimes foot soldiers, of the Pandafolk. It appears to be a large anthropomorphic Panda made from abpout 600 pounds of some sort of sticky putty.

Berserk (Ex): When a Putty Panda enters combat there is a cumulative 1% chance per round it goes berserk and attacks the nearest living (or moving) creature near it until none are left. Once a Putty Panda goes berserk there is no known method of re establishing control.

Adhesion (Ex): Putty Pandas are incredibly sticky. Anyone striking them with a weapon must make a DC 15 Reflex Save (Save DC is Con based) or their weapon is stuck to the Putty Panda. They will have to succeed in a Grapple check to pull it free. Putty Pandas receive a +8 Racial Bonus to Grapple checks.

Improved Grab (Ex): A Putty Panda that successfully hits with a Slam attack can immediately make a Grapple check as a Free Action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it succeeds it can use it's Smother attack on any opponent 1 Size Class smaller than itself. Due to it's adhesive nature the Putty Panda can grapple a creature of any size class.

Smother (Ex): Any living creature that requires air and that is Pinned successfully in a Grapple by a Putty Panda begins to suffocate (see DMG page 304).

Immune to Magic (Ex): Putty Pandas are immune to any spell or spell like ability that allows Spell Resistance.

Combat: Putty Pandas usually just charge and grapple. They aren't really bright or subtle. And of course they're made for grappling, so they may as well take advantage of it.


Construction: A Putty Panda is made from 600 pounds of silly putty treated with rare alchemical compounds costing at least 1000 GP. Assembling the Body requires a DC 20 Craft (alchemy) check.

CL 11th; Craft Construct (see MM page 303), Animate Object, Geas/Quest, Web, Caster must be 11th Level. Price 50000 GP; Cost 25000 GP + 1000 XP



Putty Panda
"Welcome to Panda Po's Putty Emporium!"

"I didn't know the government was letting in outsiders this year."

A Sticky Situation

"Diversity in military arms is a good thing."

"True enough. What's that made out of?"

"Our patented extra secret sticky putty."

"So it sticks to things?"

"No sir, things stick to it."

Wildly Popular As Guards

"That's splitting hairs a bit finely isn't it?"

"Only aggressive individuals stick to it sir."

"I can't help but notice it's stuck to the floor..."

"This is just a display model sir."

"So how do we arrange to see one in action?"

"PANDA POWERS ACTIVATE!"

"I had to ask...."

[Bhu]

Booze Golem
Large Construct
Hit Dice: 10d10+30 (85 hp)
Initiative: +3
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 17 (-1 Size, +3 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:+7/+20
Attack: Slam +15 melee (1d8+9)
Full Attack: 2 Slams +15 melee (1d8+9)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Engulf, Berserk, Intoxication, Improved Grab
Special Qualities: Construct Traits, Immunity to Magic, Darkvision 60 ft., Low Light Vision, Damage Reduction 10/-, Fluid Body
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +6, Will +3
Abilities: Str 29, Dex 16, Con -, Int -, Wis 11, Cha 1
Skills:-
Feats: -
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating:10
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 11-15 HD (large), 16 –30 HD (huge)
Level Adjustment:---

"Dude...dude we SO have to fight this monster.."

Long beloved by Gnomes, Dwarves, and Halflings (who all claim to have invented it), the Booze Golem is a tall, vaguely humanoid shape composed of some form of alcohol. They think of it as a way to have the Rum protect itself when the army is on the march. There is a secret code word which, when said, will make the Golem dissolve back into a pile of alcohol. This code word is chosen by it's creator at the time it is made, and only works for him.

Berserk (Ex): When a Booze Golem enters combat there is a cumulative 1% chance per round it goes berserk and attacks the nearest living (or moving) creature near it until none are left. Once a Booze Golem goes berserk there is no known method of re establishing control.

Improved Grab (Ex): A Booze Golem that successfully hits with a Slam attack can immediately make a Grapple check as a Free Action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it succeeds it can use it's Engulf attack on any opponent 1 Size Class smaller than itself.

Engulf (Ex): Any living creature that requires air and that is Pinned successfully in a Grapple by a Booze Golem begins to drown (see DMG page 304). If it escapes drowning it risks becoming intoxicated (see below).

Intoxication (Ex): Each round a living, corporeal opponent is Engulfed it must make a Fortitude Save. DC of the Saving Throw is 10 plus half hit dice plus Constitution modifier, plus a Racial Bonus based on the type of alcohol the Golem is composed of (Ale, Diluted Spirits, or Wine +1/Fortified Wine or Stout Ale +2/Most Spirits +3/Strong Spirits +4/Dangerous Spirits +5). The opponent gains a cumulative -2 to the Saving Throw roll per round engulfed. If he fails he takes 1d2 temporary Dex and Wisdom damage each time the Saving Throw is failed. If Wisdom is reduced to 0 the opponent passes out. If Dexterity is reduced to 0 the opponent is helpless, but just barely conscious. If both go to 0, the opponent must make a second Fortitude Save (same DC) to avoid alcohol poisoning. If he fails he takes 1 temporary point of Con damage every 10 minutes until death, or his stomach is purged. Neutralize or Delay Poison will stop or delay this, and creatures immune to poison are immune to Intoxication. Once the encounter is over the opponent regains 1 point of Wisdom and Dexterity each hour, providing it consumes no more alcohol. Constitution damage from alcohol poisoning heals 1 point per day as usual.

Immunity to Magic (Ex): A Booze Golem is immune to any spell or spell like ability that allows Spell Resistance. The exceptions are spells doing Fire damage. Fire spells cause it to explode if it fails a Fortitude Save (the explosion is similar to a Fireball spell cast by a 10th level caster). DC of Fort Save is equal to 10 plus 1 per die of damage the fire spell does. This destroys the Golem.

Fluid Body (Ex): The Booze Golem can take a Full Round action to pass through any porous barrier (i.e. a fence or net, not a solid wall) without slowing movement. At rest it appears to be a puddle of alcohol.

Combat: Booze Golems go straight for the Grapple, and when one opponent is stone drunk (or dead) they move on to the next.

Construction: A Booze Golem is made from 72 gallons of alcohol costing at least 1000 GP. Assembling the Body requires a DC 20 Craft (alchemy) check.

CL 11th; Craft Construct (see MM page 303), Animate Object, Geas/Quest, Animate Water, Caster must be 11th Level. Price 50000 GP; Cost 25000 GP + 1000 XP



Booze Golem
"Welcome to the Church of Bubnoff!"

"Weren't we just at your table?"

A Swiftly Growing Tradition Of 'Sploding Golems

"Maybe. I've been a little drunk on the Golems..."

"The Golems are made of alcohol?"

"Yup. Now the rum can march with the soldiers and defend them."

"Is it still flammable?"

"Of course."

Wildly Popular Among Soldiers

"Isn't that a tad dangerous?"

"Only if you're near fire."

"It'll be on battlefields. There's always fire."

"Just have them run away from it. You gotta save the booze."

"I can't tell if this is genius or insanity."

"We're thinking of making them sentient this year."

"And insanity just won out..."

[Bhu]

Poop Golem
Large Construct
Hit Dice: 10d10+30 (85 hp)
Initiative: -1
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class: 20 (-1 Size, -1 Dex, +12 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 20
Base Attack/Grapple: +7/+18
Attack: Slam +13 melee (2d6+7 plus Foulness)
Full Attack: 2 Slams +13 melee (2d6+7 plus Foulness)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Berserk, Unbegotten Foulness, Disturbing Presence, Improved Grab, Smother
Special Qualities: Construct Traits, Damage Reduction 10/Adamantine, Darkvision 60 ft., low Light Vision, Immunity to Magic
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +2, Will +3
Abilities: Str 25, Dex 8, Con -, Int -, Wis 11, Cha 1
Skills: --
Feats: --
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary or Latrine (3-6)
Challenge Rating: 10
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 11-20 HD (Large), 21-30 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: ---

"We...are NOT...fighting that. I don't care what the General threatened us with."

The origin of the Poop Golem is largely unknown. They have appeared in several Dwarf/Elven conflicts on both sides, and the origin was assumed to be with them. The Dwarves claim the Elves are too lazy to do mundane matters such as dig latrines, so they animate their waste to wreak havoc on the Dwarven lines. The Elves have countered this claim by stating that Elves do not, in fact, poop. The Dwarven legions response was to refer to the Elves as "a bunch of filthy, lying bastards". Despite claims by either side, the Golems seem to attack both sides at random, meaning there is likely a third race at work. Probably Gnomes. Can't trust them Gnomes. No sir.

Berserk (Ex): Each round it is in combat there is a 1% chance the Golem goes berserk. It will attack the nearest living creature, or smash smaller objects each round until nothing is left before moving on to continue the destruction. There is no known method of reestablishing control once the Golem is Berserk.

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Golem succeeds with a Slam attack it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an attack of opportunity. It will then usually Pin it's victim, or Smother if it's small enough.

Smother (Ex): If the Golem successfully Grapples an opponent at least 2 Size Categories smaller than itself it may Smother them with a successful Grapple check. Each round it maintains the Grapple causes the victim to Suffocate (See DMG page 304).

Unbegotten Foulness (Ex): Poop Golems smell so bad that any living creature within 60 ft. must make a DC 20 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Con based with a +5 Racial Bonus) or be Nauseated as long as they remain within 60 ft. of the Golem and for 1d6 rounds thereafter. A successful Save means the victim is only Sickened instead. If the Golem successfully strikes or Grapples an opponent they will be required to make another Save each time, and it will stink for 1d6 days afterwards (during this time it automatically fails all Hide checks, cannot use Scent if it has the ability, and anything tracking it by Scent has a +8 Circumstance Bonus on the rolls) whether the Save is made or not. If the victim has Scent it will be Sickened until this effect wears off. Opponents with Scent take a -4 Circumstance Penalty on Saves against this ability.

Disturbing Presence (Ex): Massive amounts of vermin roam over the golem and swarm the air around it. Anyone within 10 ft of the Golem must make a DC 15 Willpower Save or be Nauseated for 1 round as they get bitten and crawled upon (Save DC is Con based). Spellcasting or concentrating on spells requires a Concentration Check (DC 20 plus spells level), and using skills requiring patience and concentration requires a DC 20 Concentration check. In addition if the first Save is failed the victim must make a second DC 15 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma Based with a +5 Racial Bonus) or be Shaken for 2d6 rounds. If either Save is successful the victim is immune to this Golems Disturbing Presence for 24 hours.

Immunity To Magic (Ex): Poop Golems are immune to any spell or spell like ability that allows Spell Resistance. The exceptions are spells doing Fire or Cold damage. Spells doing Cold slow the Golem down as the Slow spell for 4 rounds (no Save). Fire spells cause it to explode if it fails a Fortitude Save(the explosion is similar to a Fireball spell cast by a 10th level caster). DC of Fort Save is equal to 10 plus 1 per die of damage the fire spell does. This destroys the Golem.

Combat: Poop Golems always go for the Grapple. Always. It's like they know you hate that option the most.

Construction: A Poop Golem is made from 600 pounds of feces treated with alchemical compounds costing at least 100 GP. Assembling the Body requires a DC 20 Craft (alchemy) check.

CL 11th; Craft Construct (see MM page 303), Animate Object, Geas/Quest, Contagion, Caster must be 11th Level. Price 50000 GP; Cost 25000 GP + 1000 XP




Poop Golem

"What is that smell?"

Truly The Most Feared Of Golems

"Welcome to the Outhouse! We make very special Golems!"

"The Golems seem o be made of excrement..."

"Building material is common and nigh well infinite!"

"It's unsanitary though."

"Imagine how terrified the enemy will be!"

Hated By Everyone

"Does it come with a Cleric on contract? You'll need one."

"Cleric on contract? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

[Bhu]

Snow Golem
Medium Construct
Hit Dice: 9d10+20 (69 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 19 (+1 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed
18
Base Attack/Grapple: +6/+8
Attack: Slam +8 melee (1d6+2 plus 1d6 cold)
Full Attack: 2 Slams +8 melee (1d6+2 plus 1d6 cold)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Berserk, Snowballs, Freezing Touch
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60 ft., Construct traits. Immunity to Magic, Low Light Vision, Immune to Cold, Hide in Snow, Damage Reduction 10/Magic and Bludgeoning
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +4, Will +3
Abilities: Str 14, Dex 12, Con -, Int -, Wis 11, Cha 1
Skills: Hide +1 (+9 in snow)
Feats: -
Environment: Any Cold
Organization: Solitary or Group (2-4)
Challenge Rating: 7
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 10-18 HD (Large), 19-27 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Burt...did that snowman just move?"

Snow Golems are an unusual but cheap to make Golem in wintery areas. All you need is plenty of snow, and they look like snowmen or snow sculptures for the most part so they can hide in plain sight as well. Most Snow GOlems are made of roughly 150 pounds of snow.

Berserk (Ex): When a Snow Golem enters combat there is a cumulative 1% chance per round that it will go berserk. Once it goes berserk it will attack the nearest creature, or smashing any object smaller than itself if none is available. If the Golems creator is within 60 ft., it can try to regain control by making a DC 19 Charisma check. After 1 minute of inactivity, the Golem's chances of going berserk reset to 0%.

Snowballs (Su): The Snow Golem may cast the spell Snowball Swarm (see Spell Compendium) 3 times per day as a Supernatural Ability. Caster Level is equal to Hit Dice, casting ability is Wisdom.

Freezing Touch (Su): The Snow Golem's Slam Attacks and successful Grapple checks do +1d6 Cold Damage.

Immunity to Magic: The Snow Golem is immune to any Spell or Spell Like Ability that allows Spell Resistance, with the exception of spells that do fire or cold damage. Fire does double damage to a Snow Golem. Cold spells that do damage actually add to the Golem's hit points instead. Any hit points beyond the Golem's normal maximum are temporary hp lasting 10 minutes.

Hide in Snow: The Snow Golem has the Hide in Plain Sight and Camouflage abilities (see PHB page 48) while in snowy areas.

Skills: Snow Golem's have a +8 Racial Bonus to Hide checks in snow.

Combat: Snow Golem's tend to remain still, hiding in plain sight until opponents get close enough to fight. If they are spotted before then they open up with the snowballs.


Create Snow Golem
Transmutation
Level: Sor/Wiz 6
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 Full Round Action
Range: Close (25 ft. plus 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: Animates 1 Snow Golem
Duration: 1 hour/level

This spell animates 1 Snow Golem for the duration of the spell. When created you designate one "owner" who will control the Golem, and a code word which may disassemble it before the spell ends (speaking the word is a Swift Action).
Focus is 150 pounds of snow. This Focus can only be used for 1 Golem at a time, for more Golems, you need more snow.





Snow Golem

"Welcome to Spiffy Spalls Snow Kingdom! Our Golems are made from simple spells and snow. Cheap and easy to make!"

"But how effective might Snow be?"

Snowman Golems

"They're excellent at blending in while in arctic conditions!"

"Yes, but are they effective?"

"And they can throw snow balls!"

"Snowballs. A traditional military weapon.."

Hated By Everyone

"Do they still go berserk?"

"Of course sir! We're strictly old school here at Spalls."

[Bhu]

Edible Golem
Medium Consruct
Hit Dice: 3d10+20 (36 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 30 ft (6 squares)
Armor Class: 20 (+10 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 20
Base Attack/Grapple: +2/+8
Attack: Slam +4 melee (1d8+2)
Full Attack: 2 Slams +4 melee (1d8+2)
Space/Reach: 5ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Improved Grab, Constrict (2d8+4)
Special Qualities: Construct Traits, Dark Vision 60 ft., Damage Reduction 10/Magic, Immunity to Magic, Low Light Vision, Mindless
Saves: Fort +1, Ref +1, Will +1
Abilities: Str 15, Dex 10, Con -, Int -, Wis 11, Cha 1
Skills: -
Feats: -
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary or Group (3-6)
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 4-6 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment: -----

”We wuz out foragin’ when we came up on this Halfling encampment. Lil’ squatty bastards left their chuckwagon unguarded, and me an’ Chuck we thinks “Well sir…guess that foods ours now”. Then this thing made out of cabbage beats Chuck like a ragdoll, and some sort of cheese monkey choked me into unconsciousness. Damn I hate them Halflings...”


Halflings are known for their prowess with cuisine, but not so much so for their abilities as a military force. Particularly hard hit are the cooks and guards for the food stores. Bigger races tend to run them over to get the Halflings prized vittles. And consequently this makes the Halflings pretty ticked off.

After several years of this, some enterprising Halfling Wizard made the first Edible Golem. Edible Golems can be composed of any hard foodstuff (cheese, jerked and smoked meats, vegetables, mushrooms), and are basically a 6 foot high figure composed of the aforementioned edibles. Created to guard the food stores, a code word chosen at creation (and given to the Golems “owner”) will immediately disassemble the Golem into its component parts. As long as the food is part of the Golem it never spoils, and it can even move and defend itself thus freeing up guards for other purposes.

This makes them ideal Golems as they can be eaten, are cheap to make, and don’t go Berserk. They are a staple of many armies now in tribute to the Halflings success with using them.


Improved Grab (Ex): If the Golem successfully hits with it’s Slam Attack it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity. If successful it may then Constrict. Edible Golems get a +4 Racial Bonus to Grapple checks. Unlike normal this ability may be used on creatures the same size class as the Golem.

Constrict (Ex): An Edible Golem does 2d8+4 damage with a successful Grapple Check.

Immunity to Magic (Ex): An Edible Golem is immune to any spell or spell like ability that allows Spell Resistance, with one exception. If Purify Food and Drink is cast on the Golem it heals 1d6 hit points of damage.

Combat: Edible Golems aren’t very tactical combatants being mindless and all. They generally just waltz up to whatever enemy is closest, initiate a Grapple, and squeeze till dead. Rinse, repeat. It’s effective though. Many is the opposing military man who has suffered the dismay of being beaten down by a cheese Golem.


Construction: An Edible Golem is made from 300 pounds of some sort of foodstuffs (average cost around 120 GP). Unlike normal Golems, Edibles aren't constructed, they are temporarily animated by means of the right spell.


Create Edible Golem
Transmutation
Level: Sor/Wiz 4, Food 4
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 Full Round Action
Range: Close (25 ft. plus 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: Animates 1 Edible Golem
Duration: 1 hour/level

This spell animates 1 Edible Golem for the duration of the spell. When created you designate one "owner" who will control the Golem, and a code word which may disassemble it before the spell ends (speaking the word is a Swift Action).
Focus is 300 pounds of some sort of food. This Focus can only be used for 1 Golem at a time, for more Golems, you need more food.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Lore
Characters with ranks in Knowledge (Arcane) can learn a little about the Edible Golem. When the character makes a skill check, the following lore is revealed, including the information from lower DCs:

DC|Lore 10|The Halflings sometimes have Constructs guarding their food. 15|The Constructs guarding the Halflings food stores ARE food. 20|The magic making Edible Golems is cheap, but fairly short in duration and must be renewed regularly. 25|If you can get the Golem's "owner" to spit out the right word, the Golems will disassemble into harmless victuals. Plot Hook The Edible Golems your base has been relying upon to guard the food (i.e. themselves for the most part) have somehow been awakened by an unknown enemy, and they no longer disassemble when the code word is given. Somehow you must discover what is going on, keep the base in food in the meantime, and manage to imprison the Golems long enough to do the first two tasks. Every night someone near a local restaurant dies. Every morning the restaurateur find blood on his cabbages. He has told no one of this, and has hired the PC's to find out what is going on before the authorities do. One night they notice a strange figure leave the restaurant with what looks like a very deformed man under a greatcoat and heavy clothing. The deformed man does not speak or respond to anyone but his partner. And he simply stinks of garlic and cabbage... Yesterday was the best day of your groups life. You defeated bad guys, got a good haul, and had a blast with the local tavern wenches. In the morning however you find out the tavern wenches who were sleeping downstairs are all beaten up, the food is gone, your money is stolen, and everyone who was there claims that cheese people robbed the place while you were all passed out drunk. You're having a bit of a hard time accepting their explanation, but the place does seem Limburgery today... Local Halfling Wizard King Codpuncher (that doesn't sound megalomaniacal in any way...) has hired the PC's to test out his security. In reality he's bored and wants to see someone beaten up by the various food based Golems running around his trapped underground mansion. Darn sneaky them Halflings.

Edible Golem

"Welcome to Hell's Kitchen!"

"Is that a cabbage golem?"

Ever Been Beaten By A Turnip?

"Yes. Our team uses spells to allow the food stores to defend themselves."

"Please tell me they don't go berserk."

"No but there is a statistically insignificant chance that they spontaneously achieve sentient awareness."

"Is that good or bad?"

Random Sentience Achieved

"As a general rule, spontaneous awareness is bad."

"Plus, they do know you consider them food..."