Random Banter #239 - Now 50% more tangible!

[Anonymouswizard]

Yeah, at bare minimum the Chaos Gods and Tyranids need permanently dealt with.

That's not how Chaos works. The only way to destroy the Chaps Gods would be to kill all sentient life in the galaxy (at minimum), and even then it might not actually kill them. And even then as soon as you have emotion-feeling life you'll get new Chaos Gods.

That's not getting into the implied scale of the Tyranids.

[Mystic Muse]

That's not how Chaos works. The only way to destroy the Chaps Gods would be to kill all sentient life in the galaxy (at minimum), and even then it might not actually kill them. And even then as soon as you have emotion-feeling life you'll get new Chaos Gods.

That's not getting into the implied scale of the Tyranids.

Other, less awful deities could grow to power and take the current crop of deities place.

And I'm aware that neither will happen. It wouldn't be a Grimdark setting if anyone ever did anything that could fix it.

[Fyraltari]

They don't.

Wasn't the reason he let Angron's rebellions die because the former masters had already bent the knee to him?

No. They did prosecute a galactic war, and won.

I meant the part about them being unstable brutes. They're immortals, brainwashed warriors with no family or friends outside one another, no way to relate to regular humans and barely any life outside of the unending war. They can't function in times of peace. Like, imagine the Great Crusade were a complete success. No more chaos, no more xenos, all human worlds are brought into the fold. What would the Space Marines do? The purpose to their life is gone, how long before they get restless bolter syndrome and start rebelling or waging war against one another?

And given the primarchs' various roles included civilian administration, law, and psychic powers, it'd be ridiculous to get rid of them rather than put them to work.

Are you including Angron and Kurze in this statement?

Even then, the Space Marine legions are the Imperium's strongest fighting force. What's he gonna throw at them? The Custodes are good but they're not "all the legions and their primarchs at once" good.

You'd get the Horus Heresy but on steroids because now even the loyalists are turning on you.

This is not something you want, especially when the primarchs were created specifically to be "OP plz nerf nao"

Oh that's easy. You just invite them all for a big celebratory feast on some planet to mark the beginning of a new Era. Then once everyone is there. You teleport out and begin the Exterminatus.

Sure the primarchs and their troops are ridiculously powerful, but a thousand nukes tonthe face will do the trick.

Isn't that the xenos' sin of existence? Why invent a new term for it?

It's a crime for the xeno to exist and it's another for the human to listen to the xeno.

Mortarion and Corvus Corax were both found in the middle of a rebellion to take control of their world. Both asked for more time. The Emperor allowed Corvus to do what he wanted to win the war. But Mortarion? He made a bet that Mort couldn't kill his adoptive father, waited for him to pass out from poison gas, and then struck that father down with ease. These two interactions are polar opposites of one another for no apparent reason except that Morty needed to fall to Chaos.

I mean it sounds like he allowed Mort to do what he wanted to win the war and didn't he make friends with Vulkan and Russ by also betting he could beat them in a contest?

Angron has it even worse. The guy wants to die with his men in their failed rebellion. The Emperor's response is to steal him away from his family and make them watch as they're slaughtered. This same guy sacrificed his victory over Vulkan in order to save his life.

It's almost like he doesn't care about the Primarch as long as he can still point them towards his ennemies.

Emps loved Horus so much that he couldn't bring himself to kill him in their final duel, despite having the corpse of Sanguinius in the same room. What ultimately convinces him is Horus obliterating Ollanius Pius, a normal guardsman who got in his way, and laughing with glee. Same guy apparently sees no problem with creating and employing an actual terrorist (Konrad) who is clearly going more and more insane as the Crusade drags on.

Yeah, I admit that one just doesn't gel with the rest. Then again, how do we know what happened? Because everyone in the room died before they got a chance to tell anyone, no?

Aren't you arguing that the Emperor plans to get rid of the primarchs entirely? You couldn't ask for better servants than 18 primarchs.

Sure you could. Servants who aren't immortal and who don't have the personnal loyalty of thousands of supersoldiers. And notice "18 Primarchs", not 20. He already had two executed for either failing his standards in some fashion or beating Horus to the high treason.

Totalitarian pyramidal systems like the Imperium are inherently rife with infighting. How long would it take for Horus, Guiliman, Perturabo, Dorn, El'Johnson or Kurze to decide they're not getting the respect they deserve/they could run the Imperium better than Daddy Dear? Even without chaos civil war was inevitable. Each primarch but Angron conquered the vast majority of their world when the Crusade reached them. How long would they stay content playing second fiddle?

Emps intended to have the two switch when needed and to spend time exploring the warp together, apparently. Moreover, during the siege of Terra, he tries to bring Magnus back into the fold with this dream. But he can't, because Magnus would've had to abandon his current legion and get a new one... which even Vulkan admits is a deal he'd never take.

Even assuming The Emperor was completely honest, that really doesn't sound like it would work long-term.

Because nobody bought the female space marines are miniature clones of their primarch.

No they're not. They're prebubescent boys pumped full of growth hormones and grafted with inhuman organs. But I guess the all-mighty genius of the Master of Mankind cannot defeat the power of oestrogen.

What's weird about it is that he's supposed to also be a master of statecraft and personal influence. Which is only true sometimes. If he understands people well enough to manipulate Vulkan into being his servant, why doesn't he understand how to influence Mortarion? and if that bit with Vulkan was genuine, why would he kidnap Angron and make him watch his family getting destroyed?

Honestly, I think it boils down to the old problem that no writer can truly wrote a character smarter than they are.

[Anonymouswizard]

Other, less awful deities could grow to power and take the current crop of deities place.

The current set includes the emotions of hope and passion, and the ideals of acceptance and honesty. You're kind of missing the point of Chaos in this setting (and, if we include Warhammer Fantasy, Law/Order).

[Mystic Muse]

The current set includes the emotions of hope and passion, and the ideals of acceptance and honesty. You're kind of missing the point of Chaos in this setting (and, if we include Warhammer Fantasy, Law/Order).

Yes, yes, everything is awful and no one anyone does can ever fix anything. I get it.

[HalfTangible]

Mystic is correct. New gods could very easily form in the Warp if the Warp calmed down. We've had more benevolent gods in the warp in Warhammer's past; the Eldar Gods, primarily; and there's room for some serious overlap (Khaine and Khorne)

Chaos can't really be "destroyed" but its power can be lessened to such an extent that it's not relevant anymore.

Wasn't the reason he let Angron's rebellions die because the former masters had already bent the knee to him?

Because the Emperor would never go back on a promise /s

If he's willing to take the leader of the rebellion why not the rest too?

And he still made him watch.

I meant the part about them being unstable brutes. They're immortals, brainwashed warriors with no family or friends outside one another, no way to relate to regular humans and barely any life outside of the unending war. They can't function in times of peace. Like, imagine the Great Crusade were a complete success. No more chaos, no more xenos, all human worlds are brought into the fold. What would the Space Marines do? The purpose to their life is gone, how long before they get restless bolter syndrome and start rebelling or waging war against one another?

It ain't the same thing at all. Guilliman intended for his marines to each rule their own world. Perturabo wanted to build, and apparently he and his legion both enjoyed it (the one time he actually did it). Fulgrim's legion was full of artists. Magnus, scholars. etc etc.

Are you including Angron and Kurze in this statement?

You were talking about getting rid of ALL the legions and primarchs.

Oh that's easy. You just invite them all for a big celebratory feast on some planet to mark the beginning of a new Era. Then once everyone is there. You teleport out and begin the Exterminatus.

Sure the primarchs and their troops are ridiculously powerful, but a thousand nukes tonthe face will do the trick.

That was the plan at Isstvaan, too. It didn't work there either because it's way too simplistic.

And even if you get the primarchs and their best men (one of those primarchs is a Perpetual, several don't usually show up to these sorts of things, and several of them have future sight by the way) you have the rest of their legions to deal with. Legions that have spent the last millennia or more (however long this Crusade takes) being mythologized as humanity's bulwark against the shadow.

I mean it sounds like he allowed Mort to do what he wanted to win the war and didn't he make friends with Vulkan and Russ by also betting he could beat them in a contest?

The Emperor stole Mort's life work from him. He didn't do that to Corvus despite the near identical circumstances.

It's almost like he doesn't care about the Primarch as long as he can still point them towards his ennemies.

Then explain why he cared for Horus and Magnus.

Like I said, he has so many different actions and motives that don't gel.

Yeah, I admit that one just doesn't gel with the rest. Then again, how do we know what happened? Because everyone in the room died before they got a chance to tell anyone, no?

IIRC the Emperor doesn't quite die here yet and there were others present, just not able to interfere in the duel.

Sure you could. Servants who aren't immortal and who don't have the personnal loyalty of thousands of supersoldiers. And notice "18 Primarchs", not 20. He already had two executed for either failing his standards in some fashion or beating Horus to the high treason.

Totalitarian pyramidal systems like the Imperium are inherently rife with infighting. How long would it take for Horus, Guiliman, Perturabo, Dorn, El'Johnson or Kurze to decide they're not getting the respect they deserve/they could run the Imperium better than Daddy Dear? Even without chaos civil war was inevitable. Each primarch but Angron conquered the vast majority of their world when the Crusade reached them. How long would they stay content playing second fiddle?

It's deliberately unclear what happened to the primarchs and marines of the two lost legions, but more to the point, the primarchs are consummate geniuses capable of ridonkulus feats even for space marines.

Even assuming The Emperor was completely honest, that really doesn't sound like it would work long-term.

Magnus rejects the deal because it would require he sacrifice his sons. But the offer was made, and both he and Vulkan seemed to think it was sincere. It was an offer Emps had little reason to make, and if was lying, he could've said 'oh sure I can save your sons too, but I need to be off of this chair to do it' or something.

No they're not.

Yes they are, man, that's why they always say the geneseed comes from the primarchs and the marines usually gain some of their primarch's physical features (hell Alpharius' marines all are so close as to be indistinguishable from him).

Honestly, I think it boils down to the old problem that no writer can truly wrote a character smarter than they are.

No, the problem is Too Many Cooks in the kitchen. The Emperor's been written by dozens of different writers with their own interpretations of the character that don't gel over the course of decades.

[Anonymouswizard]

Yes, yes, everything is awful and no one anyone does can ever fix anything. I get it.

Not just that.

Nurgle is acceptance without desire.

Tzeentch is hope without goals.

Slaanesh is passion without restraint.

Khorne is strength without guild.

The issue with the Chaos god's is not what they represent, but what they lack. And I'm not sure 'hope the next lot is more rounded' is really a viable solution.

[Rater202]

So my mother found a recipe for a low sugar chocolate cake(with chocolate frosting) from scratch that she baked today.

A little bitter(one of the ingredients was coffee), but not bad.

The frosting had a very marshmallowy texture.

[DataNinja]

I had to do a double take, because I could have sworn that I wasn't in the 40k thread.

Weather's finally getting sunny at last, here. So, that's nice. Only a few months late.

[Peelee]

I had to do a double take, because I could have sworn that I wasn't in the 40k thread.

Weather's finally getting sunny at last, here. So, that's nice. Only a few months late.

I hope you enjoy both days of it.

[BisectedBrioche]

So my mother found a recipe for a low sugar chocolate cake(with chocolate frosting) from scratch that she baked today.

A little bitter(one of the ingredients was coffee), but not bad.

The frosting had a very marshmallowy texture.

Coffee is a fairly common ingredient for chocolate cake. It adds quite a bit of depth (it has a slightly richer, nutty bitterness to it, which complements cocoa's slightly sweeter bitterness perfectly).

(also, please gib recipe!)

[Form]

So my mother found a recipe for a low sugar chocolate cake(with chocolate frosting) from scratch that she baked today.

A little bitter(one of the ingredients was coffee), but not bad.

The frosting had a very marshmallowy texture.

Coffee is a fairly common ingredient for chocolate cake. It adds quite a bit of depth (it has a slightly richer, nutty bitterness to it, which complements cocoa's slightly sweeter bitterness perfectly).

(also, please gib recipe!)

Coffee and chocolate are a pretty good combination. As a kid I loved these chocolate cornetto ice creams with coffee beans on them.

... and now I have a craving for some chocolate-coffee ice cream.

[Rater202]

Cake recipe that my mother googled

Cake Ingredients:

1 3/4 cup of all-purpose flour.
1 3/4 Splenda brand zero calorie sweetener.
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder.
1 teaspoon of baking powder
2 teaspoons of baking soda1 teaspoon of salt
1 cup of buttermilk
1/2 cup canola oil
2 large room temperature eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla(my mom assumed extract, the recipe did not specify)
1 cup of fresh brew strong coffee, still hot.

Frosting:
8 ounces of softened cream cheese.
2.1 ounces of sugar-free chocolate pudding mix(a large box, basically)
1 1/2 cups milk(mom used two percent)
8 ounces of lite cool whip

Volumic Measures are in American legal units, convert appropriately because **** if I know how to.

Instructions: Preheat over to 350 F(176.667 C) and grease and flour 2 nine-inch(22.86 cm) baking pans

to create a batter, combine flour, Splenda, and cocoa. baking powder, baking soda, and salt in bowl, mix well. combine buttermilk, oil, eggs, and vanilla 9the recipe calls for a stand mixer, but we don't have one of those and I don't know what mom did.) and then slowly mix in the dry ingredients, slowly adding the coffee last. Pour into prepared pans, bake for roughly 25 minutes or until a tooth pick comes in clean.

While cake is cooling, use a hand mixer to whip the cream cheese, the in a seperate containing nix the milk and pudding mix and whisk utill smooth. Add the pudding mixture to the cream cheese a spoon at a time and beat to combine, once all the pudding is added fpold in the cool whip and then gently mix till it's all combined.

To frost cake, place one cake layer on plate or stand, frost the top, place the other layer above that, the frost the entire outside of the resulting apparatus.

Cake makes 15 servings if cut into as many equal pieces.

The recipe says it's sugar-free.. But then goes on to say that it's got 23 grams of sugar per serving.

Which honestly I don't now how.

For context, my sugar was 87 yesterday and 89 this morning after not only a slice of this cake, but some(low sugar) ice cream shortly after a dinner of four slices of pizza and two breadsticks from a local chain that... Probably wasn't the most diabetes-friendly option for pizza.

[DataNinja]

I hope you enjoy both days of it.

Well, I'm hoping it lasts a bit longer than that.

...it's kinda unnerving looking out the window in late July, though, and still seeing green grass. When it's normally parched, like, mid-June-ish.

[Jasdoif]

Cake recipe that my mother googled

Cake Ingredients:

1 3/4 cup of all-purpose flour.
1 3/4 Splenda brand zero calorie sweetener.
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder.
1 teaspoon of baking powder
2 teaspoons of baking soda1 teaspoon of salt
1 cup of buttermilk
1/2 cup canola oil
2 large room temperature eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla(my mom assumed extract, the recipe did not specify)
1 cup of fresh brew strong coffee, still hot.

Frosting:
8 ounces of softened cream cheese.
2.1 ounces of sugar-free chocolate pudding mix(a large box, basically)
1 1/2 cups milk(mom used two percent)
8 ounces of lite cool whip

Volumic Measures are in American legal units, convert appropriately because **** if I know how to.

Instructions: Preheat over to 350 F(176.667 C) and grease and flour 2 nine-inch(22.86 cm) baking pans

to create a batter, combine flour, Splenda, and cocoa. baking powder, baking soda, and salt in bowl, mix well. combine buttermilk, oil, eggs, and vanilla 9the recipe calls for a stand mixer, but we don't have one of those and I don't know what mom did.) and then slowly mix in the dry ingredients, slowly adding the coffee last. Pour into prepared pans, bake for roughly 25 minutes or until a tooth pick comes in clean.

While cake is cooling, use a hand mixer to whip the cream cheese, the in a seperate containing nix the milk and pudding mix and whisk utill smooth. Add the pudding mixture to the cream cheese a spoon at a time and beat to combine, once all the pudding is added fpold in the cool whip and then gently mix till it's all combined.

To frost cake, place one cake layer on plate or stand, frost the top, place the other layer above that, the frost the entire outside of the resulting apparatus.

Cake makes 15 servings if cut into as many equal pieces.

The recipe says it's sugar-free.. But then goes on to say that it's got 23 grams of sugar per serving.

Which honestly I don't now how.

Cup of buttermilk is 12g, cup-and-a-half of milk is about 18g, eight ounces of cream cheese is about 12g (most cheeses are carb-free; cream cheese is still partially milky), eight ounces of light Cool Whip is 3g....That's 45g; so if they're counting half the cake as a serving, maybe.

What'd concern me more is that that much flour is a ton of net carbs, 166g.

[Rater202]

I'm not too concerned about carbs, as long as I'm generally eating healthy I can handle large servings of carbs in one or two meals as long as it's reltivly low in sugar.

It took a large bowl of fried rice during a time where we just didn't have any diabetes-friendly snacks in the house to put me over 100 so...

This is not medical advice, results may vary, do not imitate me.

[Bartmanhomer]

Hey everyone. How's everyone doing? I'm doing well. My co-worker is going to be on vacation Next Thursday from July 28 through August 10. I'll be his replacement as the receptionist. I did it before and I love being a receptionist.

[Rater202]

Hey everyone. How's everyone doing? I'm doing well. My co-worker is going to be on vacation Next Thursday from July 28 through August 10. I'll be his replacement as the receptionist. I did it before and I love being a receptionist.

I'm also doing fine.

I'm currently doing a Jumpchain themed around "personal evolution via strongly, adaptation, and biological enhancement" with the end goal of being able o spend an hour kicking Uranos the Undying's ass up between his ears for an hour.

I started with Smallville to get Doomsday's powers and some other stuff and I've just been going along the same theme from there.

[Bartmanhomer]

I'm also doing fine.

I'm currently doing a Jumpchain themed around "personal evolution via strongly, adaptation, and biological enhancement" with the end goal of being able o spend an hour kicking Uranos the Undying's ass up between his ears for an hour.

I started with Smallville to get Doomsday's powers and some other stuff and I've just been going along the same theme from there.

That's good. 😃😈💪🏿👍🏿

[enderlord99]

It's the middle of summer and there are already spiders. I don't mind; I'm just a bit confused why spider season came so ludicrously early.

[Metastachydium]

...it's kinda unnerving looking out the window in late July, though, and still seeing green grass. When it's normally parched, like, mid-June-ish.

Just be happy for the happy grass, damnit!

It's the middle of summer and there are already spiders. I don't mind; I'm just a bit confused why spider season came so ludicrously early.

Spider season?

[BisectedBrioche]

Cake recipe that my mother googled

Cake Ingredients:

1 3/4 cup of all-purpose flour.
1 3/4 Splenda brand zero calorie sweetener.
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder.
1 teaspoon of baking powder
2 teaspoons of baking soda1 teaspoon of salt
1 cup of buttermilk
1/2 cup canola oil
2 large room temperature eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla(my mom assumed extract, the recipe did not specify)
1 cup of fresh brew strong coffee, still hot.

Frosting:
8 ounces of softened cream cheese.
2.1 ounces of sugar-free chocolate pudding mix(a large box, basically)
1 1/2 cups milk(mom used two percent)
8 ounces of lite cool whip

Volumic Measures are in American legal units, convert appropriately because **** if I know how to.

Instructions: Preheat over to 350 F(176.667 C) and grease and flour 2 nine-inch(22.86 cm) baking pans

to create a batter, combine flour, Splenda, and cocoa. baking powder, baking soda, and salt in bowl, mix well. combine buttermilk, oil, eggs, and vanilla 9the recipe calls for a stand mixer, but we don't have one of those and I don't know what mom did.) and then slowly mix in the dry ingredients, slowly adding the coffee last. Pour into prepared pans, bake for roughly 25 minutes or until a tooth pick comes in clean.

While cake is cooling, use a hand mixer to whip the cream cheese, the in a seperate containing nix the milk and pudding mix and whisk utill smooth. Add the pudding mixture to the cream cheese a spoon at a time and beat to combine, once all the pudding is added fpold in the cool whip and then gently mix till it's all combined.

To frost cake, place one cake layer on plate or stand, frost the top, place the other layer above that, the frost the entire outside of the resulting apparatus.

Cake makes 15 servings if cut into as many equal pieces.

The recipe says it's sugar-free.. But then goes on to say that it's got 23 grams of sugar per serving.

Which honestly I don't now how.

For context, my sugar was 87 yesterday and 89 this morning after not only a slice of this cake, but some(low sugar) ice cream shortly after a dinner of four slices of pizza and two breadsticks from a local chain that... Probably wasn't the most diabetes-friendly option for pizza.

I'll be honest; I have no idea what Cool Whip is, and at this point I'm too afraid to ask.

[Keltest]

I'll be honest; I have no idea what Cool Whip is, and at this point I'm too afraid to ask.

Its imitation whipped cream. It used to call itself non-dairy, but from my understanding thats not actually true, so they dont do it anymore.

[Peelee]

Its imitation whipped cream. It used to call itself non-dairy, but from my understanding thats not actually true, so they dont do it anymore.

Isn't it? I could have sworn its mage from vegetable oil.

[Keltest]

Isn't it? I could have sworn its mage from vegetable oil.

It is, but apparently it does include some dairy byproduct or something in it.

[Jasdoif]

It is, but apparently it does include some dairy byproduct or something in it.

As I understand, its fat stabilizer is a chemical that's extracted from milk.

[enderlord99]

Spider season?

Usually, early autumn has a lot of indoor spiders. It's mid summer, and it's already happening.

[Dame_Mechanus]

Its imitation whipped cream. It used to call itself non-dairy, but from my understanding thats not actually true, so they dont do it anymore.

It's also important to note for these purposes that it has a different composition, weight, and texture to whipped cream, which is the primary reason certain recipes call for that instead of proper whipped cream (whether you're freshly whipping cream or using the canned version). Quite good in the right contexts.

[Rater202]

Look, all I know is that this is a decent chocolate cake that I can eat a big ol piece of without raising my blood sugar too much.

[Metastachydium]

Usually, early autumn has a lot of indoor spiders. It's mid summer, and it's already happening.

Your spiders are weird. (Or your early autumns are colder than our early autumns. One of these two.)