Euryale's Guide to Devils, Demons, Half-Fiends and Tieflings (COMEDY)

[TheNerdQueen]

Saira's note: Euryale is one of my favorite DnD characters. She is a half devil who I made to be decidedly non-angsty and dislikes excessive angst. She is on good terms with both of her family and was honestly just a blast to play (though to be fair the numerous loopholes I found for her creation probably helped...) She doesn't like angst so she'll be narrating this. This is mostly a comedy piece, so please let me know if I can make it better or if I miss something. Thank you!

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Okay, are you done yet? Let's get to the *actual* content of this article! I, Eurayle, defeater of gods and killer of idiots is here to grace you with her presence! Now, it has come to my attention that some people *cough* angsty bastards *cough* *cough* have been playing devils, demons, half-fiends and Tieflings wrong! And in the worst possible way! Thus it falls to me (per usual) to inform you all of your mistakes!

Part One: Demons and Devils

Let's get started with one that's rather important to me: the difference between the orderly, impressive devils from the disgusting ravenous demons! Now, I ask you, what is the purpose of a devil? As in, what do they do? Now, many of your first guesses is "spread evil and destruction." WRONG! That is what demons do! And they are so crass in doing so! (Saira's note: Euryale's a bit biased. Don't act like Devils are good!)

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Shut up Saira.

Anyways, Devils want to achieve their goals. What's the difference? Devils go the long game. They have *actual* brains and don't slobber all over the goddamned carpet like some fiends I could name! Devils can mask their intentions. Remember: Devils are lawful as well as evil! They follow their deals to the letter (if not the spirit). Demons on the other hand just cause chaos wherever they go. Uncultured swine. This means that Devils can help the party if it suits them, and that Devils can have more abstract and indirect goals. Demons, on the other hand, are rather simple and single minded. Remember: both Devils and Demons are evil, but one is far more effective in the long term. Devils are just superior. (Saira's note: Euryale is lying here. Demons and Devils simply fill different roles. She's right about them not being interchangeable, but wrong about a simple better and worse. Perhaps she wasn't the right choice...)

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Well, it's too late now, isn't it?

Part Two: Half Fiends and Tieflings

Do you know what's even worse then the mix up between Devils and Demons? The gross mismanaging of half-fiends and tieflings! I can tell you from experience how interesting an angsty tiefling can be. Well, to be fair, she did die right before I arrived, but apparently she was a real nightmare to deal with. Her name was Despair for crying out loud! At least I didn't have to deal with all of the terrible makeup and fashion sense she likely had, or the dragging around I'd have to do to carry her useless ass. I mean, she didn't die because she was smart. I suppose the first piece of advice is:

_{Angsty is a tool, not a default}
Angst without a purpose is not useful. In fact, it's annoying. It's one note and you can't make an effective character out of it. I mean, if you get to roast the character. Not literally I'm afraid. I've been banned from doing that. even if they do it back home with no worries. The material plane is weird...
Anyways, part of the reason that useless angst is bad is because

Angsty characters annoy other non-angsty characters

I know, right? They are so annoying. As a general rule, angsty characters are usually a burden, which is annoying. I'm already carrying the entire party on my back! I don't want to deal with even more burdens! (Saira's note: Although Euryale did carry the party she did cause a bit of strife herself. She has an inflated ego that comes with killing a god with barely lifting a finger. Don't mention it or she will never shut up about it).

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Obviously! But more seriously people who play one-note angsty characters are usually make their characters rather selfish and showy, with long monologues and pity parties. It gets pretty grating after the first few times. Unfortunately, I'm not allowed to literally grate them, even though it would be a public service. But the point of a party is to have fun, and if one character is so anti-fun it can suck the fun out of other characters in the party.

Angst is not the only way to portray fiendish ancestry!

I am a half devil, and I am not angsty. So, what's my secret? It's that... I have thought put into me. Gasp! (Saira's note: Euryale stop bragging about yourself for five seconds or I'm getting a laser pointer for Pancakes and getting him to destroy your garden)

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You wouldn't.

(Saira's note: Pancakes is Euryale's giant three headed dog with the personality of Dug from up. He often forgets his size.)

Anyways, I am also (mostly) not evil! Yes, it is possible for a half fiend to be both not angsty and not evil! Here are some suggestions:
1. Pact. I am obsessed with the concept of a pact. A pact, for me at least, is a mutual promise with incentives. If I promise something with no backing, that's not a pact. If you offer something like money, the souls of the innocent, or a silence charm for the bard in exchange it becomes a pact. Pacts cannot be broken. Ever. I don't understand who does that who isn't an ugly disgusting demon!
2. Culture shock. I'm new to the material plane and there are so many weird customs here! For example, did you know that most people don't bathe in fire on a daily basis? Or that people bury perfectly good weapons and armor with the dead? I can tell you that they won't need it. And that people get offended when you take them? Why? They don't need them anymore! Of course, these are just some examples. Be creative! Half-fiends and Tieflings can be outsiders, used to different environments and thus can get confused. Even with the simple stuff, like how there is a season where everything dies and everything gets freezing cold! And that this apparently isn't considered hell. Material plane customs are weird. I mean, they can't even agree between them! (Saira's note: Euryale stop whining about winter. I saw you with a fur coat on when it was sixty degrees out. Also, these are just examples. Positive ones can exist, and these don't last forever. Her point is that these can differentiate a character from others. This is also a tool and shouldn't be used too often or it can lose its appeal.)
3. Different moral compasses. I'm not talking good-evil or sensible-angst, but rather something else. Lawful-chaotic is common, but here are some others: (Saira's note: These are examples. Come up with your own if possible)

- Power. Power is impressive, and shows of power good or evil is sensible and, well good. Those who hide power or don't want it are weird.

- Retribution. When someone does something wrong, it must be punished. This "forgiveness" stuff is weird, unless it serves a noticeable purpose. I don't understand people who think they shouldn't have consequences for their own actions

- Tact. One cannot use overt means when one can use subtle means. After all, what's the point of doing stuff unless you do it in secrecy so when it is all revealed you can laugh at your enemies? People who show their hand early or charge without thinking are weird. People who sacrifice themselves for glory and stuff are weird.

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See how these are interesting? More interesting then one note angsty/evil tieflings or half fiends. And please stop giving your characters names like "Despair" or "Suffering" and have them be angsty. Have a Tiefling necromancer named Sorrow who is the happiest person in the world. Have a character named Joy who is very, very comically emo. Just not these stereotypical angsty teen characters. Anyways, that's my expert opinion. I know you guys are entitled to your own, and likely wrong, opinion, but here's mine.

Saira's note: Euryale has a bit of an ego problem. It's okay to write angsty characters if they don't detract from the group. But it happens too often. I hope you enjoyed this advice and slight comedy script! Thank you for reading and please give feedback!

[Millstone85]

Devils, demons... There are other fiendish families you will love to hate! Yugoloths, gehreleths... Oh, I found an even more obscure one! They got, like, a single paragraph, several editions ago, but my imagination is captured.

Hassitor, Artificers of Acheron

Acheron is Mechanus' cruel reflection. Massive cubes of metal keep reassembling themselves into new battlefields, carrying soldiers like game pieces from one board to another. And yet the plane offers an even more chilling sight, that of the hassitorium. Have you heard of the Wall of the Faithless, in which unfortunate souls from Realmspace are mortared and slowly dissolve? If you have, it ought to revolt you! Now imagine a walking fortress made of the same material. See these souls never know rest as they are forced to take part in the locomotion of the whole. And there is more than one hassitorium making its way from cube to cube.

The fortresses are named after their architects, the hassitor. These are said to have disappeared, but how can you tell when nobody remembers what they looked like? Maybe they were related to the aphanacts of the pre-modron Mechanus, or maybe they began as a type of inevitable that oversaw armed conflicts through the planes. Maybe they are still here and had a hand in the creation of modern fiendish constructs: cadaver collectors, hellfire engines, retrievers, steel predators...

Or perhaps the hassitor's influence lingers through unwilling heirs, heralding their coming rebirth. Clockwork-soul sorcerers whisper the name in their sleep as visions of Acheron intrude into their dreams. Autognomes, warforged and other living constructs suddenly know the name as they manifest tiefling-like traits. Dispater, lord of the second and most industrial of the Nine Hells, is said to inspect tieflings of his bloodline for signs of metallic or excessively symmetrical features, but remains unclear on whether he fears or welcomes such finds.