Anonymouswizard's Astoundingly Assonant Random Banter #240

[Peelee]

I really should watch that film.

While I haven't experienced much American widespread recognition for it (despite it being nominated for the Best Picture, Beat Director, and Best Screenplay Oscars!), I know it was huge in Britain.

For reals, btw, it does a great job of delving into systemic sexism and power structures of the patriarchy while encouraging empowerment.

Like, the story is awkward unemployed guys decide to strip for money. But the movie is about relationships and equality.

[Fyraltari]

Playing Mass Effect 2.
Goes to the galaxy map to pick a mission, triggers a dialog.
Being told that the doodad to launch a very dangerous mission in the heart of enemy territory is almost ready.
Well, that sounds like the endgame is ready to launch. I still have a dozen-odd side-missions to complete, though. I'll be sure to pick the dialog option to not go immediately at the end of the dialog tree.
Click on prompt "What kind of delay are we looking at, here?"
Player character translates that to "We can't put off the mission forever."
NPC says we can go right now.
All dialog options are to agree to launch the mission with various degrees of politeness.
Last save three hours ago.

****ing video game prompts.

[Lord Raziere]

yeah mass effect 2 is bad about that particular aspect....did you do the Reaper IFF mission? because that one specifically starts a timer of sorts. its really weird, but that mission is technically the point of no return, not the decision to go into the Omega 4 relay, because for some reason they wanted to make it so that if you do that mission, you have to do the Suicide Mission ASAP or things go worse if you delay it too much.

[Fyraltari]

yeah mass effect 2 is bad about that particular aspect....did you do the Reaper IFF mission? because that one specifically starts a timer of sorts. its really weird, but that mission is technically the point of no return, not the decision to go into the Omega 4 relay, because for some reason they wanted to make it so that if you do that mission, you have to do the Suicide Mission ASAP or things go worse if you delay it too much.

The one where you recruit Legion? I did do that, yeah.

[Rater202]

Playing Mass Effect 2.
Goes to the galaxy map to pick a mission, triggers a dialog.
Being told that the doodad to launch a very dangerous mission in the heart of enemy territory is almost ready.
Well, that sounds like the endgame is ready to launch. I still have a dozen-odd side-missions to complete, though. I'll be sure to pick the dialog option to not go immediately at the end of the dialog tree.
Click on prompt "What kind of delay are we looking at, here?"
Player character translates that to "We can't put off the mission forever."
NPC says we can go right now.
All dialog options are to agree to launch the mission with various degrees of politeness.
Last save three hours ago.

****ing video game prompts.

Yeah. ME2 be like that.

Also, if you put off the last mission for two long and hell of a lot of your NPC crew will die.

The game is all kinds of railroady: You can got to the Citadel and be reinstated as a Spectre before you reunite with the Vermire Survivor, which should nip that entire conflict in the bud but... Nope.

Also, I'm really confused about the alignment system. Why is sniping a non-sentient android that you're going to be shooting at in less than a minute anyway a renegade action? Why is headbutting that one Krogan jackass, which is the culturally appropriate means of de-escalating conflict(via asserting dominance) which pleases the nearby Krogan Shaman because it means that you're paying attention to and trying to learn their culture, a Renegade action, but pistol whipping that one ******* in Project Overlord out of shear anger at what he did a Paragon action?

[Lord Raziere]

The one where you recruit Legion? I did do that, yeah.

Yeeeeaaah, sorry your on a timer now. its real bad like that, it sucks that they only let you recruit Legion at this point when there is so little time to spend with him, the timer is a mission timer not a real one according to the wiki I have, but basically its: 1-3 missions delay instead of relay, lose half of the crew, 4 missions delay you lose the entire crew. so....hope you spent the one mission of awaiting IFF installation on Legion's loyalty mission, because thats pretty much the only time you can do so without that crew penalty.

[Fyraltari]

Yeeeeaaah, sorry your on a timer now. its real bad like that, it sucks that they only let you recruit Legion at this point when there is so little time to spend with him, the timer is a mission timer not a real one according to the wiki I have, but basically its: 1-3 missions delay instead of relay, lose half of the crew, 4 missions delay you lose the entire crew. so....hope you spent the one mission of awaiting IFF installation on Legion's loyalty mission, because thats pretty much the only time you can do so without that crew penalty.

Okay, that's bull****. I've got like five loyalty missions I haven't done yet*, plus the shadow broker thing, plus the whole Alliance spy in Batarian space thing, plus a couple side missions. They put me on a timer that penalizes me if I don't skip a solid quarter of the game? I think I get now why a friend of mine likes this one the least out of the original 3.

Not counting the two that between my last save and having that cutscene start.

[Rater202]

Okay, that's bull****. I've got like five loyalty missions I haven't done yet*, plus the shadow broker thing, plus the whole Alliance spy in Batarian space thing, plus a couple side missions. They put me on a timer that penalizes me if I don't skip a solid quarter of the game? I think I get now why a friend of mine likes this one the least out of the original 3.

Not counting the two that between my last save and having that cutscene start.

You can do missions after completing the main quest, but yeah. You want to get as much done as possible before grabbing Legion.

I think you can do two missions after grabbing Legion before you lose anyone, the best to do there are Legion's Loyalty Mission and Talis.

[Lord Raziere]

Okay, that's bull****. I've got like five loyalty missions I haven't done yet*, plus the shadow broker thing, plus the whole Alliance spy in Batarian space thing, plus a couple side missions. They put me on a timer that penalizes me if I don't skip a solid quarter of the game? I think I get now why a friend of mine likes this one the least out of the original 3.

Not counting the two that between my last save and having that cutscene start.

Yeah its real bad, You either reload last save before Reaper IFF or accept that your suicide mission isn't going to be a perfect run. thankfully unlike other progression missions you can start Reaper IFF whenever your ready, its not like Collector ship or Horizon where you have to do it immediately, its very much a thing that the ME wiki recommends you put off Reaper IFF long as possible so you don't have this situation.

[Fyraltari]

Yeah its real bad, You either reload last save before Reaper IFF or accept that your suicide mission isn't going to be a perfect run. thankfully unlike other progression missions you can start Reaper IFF whenever your ready, its not like Collector ship or Horizon where you have to do it immediately, its very much a thing that the ME wiki recommends you put off Reaper IFF long as possible so you don't have this situation.

I don't think I have that save anymore.

[Lord Raziere]

I don't think I have that save anymore.

oh. well.

yeah sorry your up trash creek without a paddle. if thats the case its either restart the entire game or accept whatever comes from the Suicide Mission now, either way your just screwed.

either that or just.....let the crew die while you get everything ready. its not ideal, but at least you'll have better chances to get all the cool characters you personally know through it into ME3, since in ME3, your going to be provided a different crew anyways since they have to program it so that you get a crew for that game to function if you've never even played 2 and the crew are all Cerberus flunkies (aside from the doctor thats a loss) so who cares if they die?

[Rater202]

During the comic series Invincible, protagonist Mark at one point was involved in a conflict with a dimension-hopping Villain that had it out for him and during this confrontation was thrown through a number of alternate realities.

In a montage of some of them, we see Mark get tossed into what is heavily implied but not explicitly stated to be the Marvel Comics universe... Unless you also read the concurrently published issue of Marvel Team-Up, which had Mark appear out of a portal, get caught up in a fight between Spider-Man and Doc Ock, recap his origin story and his current struggles, spend a day hanging out with Spider-Man, and get introduced to the Avengers while also lampshading some of the oddities of the setting.

So, there's a canonical connection, acknowledged on both ends, between the Marvel Multiverse and the Image Comics Multiverse... At least the part where Mark's from.

For the last week or so the idea of "okay, so what happens if a Mutant and a Viltrumite have a kid?" because there's enough weird genetics and biology stuff for the both of them that the answer is going to be interesting.

and like, obviously there's no answer because this was just a one-off crossover that only happened because one of Mark's creators was writing Marvel Team-Up at the time, but the curious part of my brain refuses to accept that.

[2D8HP]

[…]Our girlfriend is leaving the polycule, so much sadness has ensued since Sunday

Sorry @Anonymouswizard, hope you find new love and you heal soon.

Apropos if nothing but the film The Full Monty was criminally underappreciated in the States.

I highly recommend watching the movie.

I saw it when it was in movie theaters, I remember thinking that it was good, and the Gnomes.

[Anonymouswizard]

I'm up in the North, realm of proper grub and Warhammer dwarves, to see my girlfriends.

So of course I spent the entirety of this morning throwing up.

[Keltest]

I'm up in the North, realm of proper grub and Warhammer dwarves, to see my girlfriends.

So of course I spent the entirety of this morning throwing up.

Obviously you were poisoned for not referring to them by the correct term "Dwarfs."

Dwarves is from Tolkien.

[Rater202]

I'm up in the North, realm of proper grub and Warhammer dwarves, to see my girlfriends.

So of course I spent the entirety of this morning throwing up.

Is it nervous vomit or "I'm sick" vomit?

I'd take it easy and maybe seek help from a medical professional either way, but sometimes you can tell and one is worse than the other.

[Anonymouswizard]

Obviously you were poisoned for not referring to them by the correct term "Dwarfs."

Dwarves is from Tolkien.

I think you'll find the correct term is Duradin©™

Is it nervous vomit or "I'm sick" vomit?

I'd take it easy and maybe seek help from a medical professional either way, but sometimes you can tell and one is worse than the other.

I think I just have a stomach bug or the like.

[Keltest]

I think you'll find the correct term is Duradin©™

They only expect so much from an Umgi.

[Anonymouswizard]

Thanks to my wonderful girlfriends I'm in possession of a Switch at the beginning of a new Pokémon generation!

...

When I actually have the money for it my goal is still to get a team of Eeveeloutions (probably Umbreon, Espeon, Leafeon, Glaciom, Joltion, and Sylveon). Because who doesn't love a cute ickle Eevee?

[Rater202]

Because who doesn't love a cute ickle Eevee?

People with no heart or soul?

[Bartmanhomer]

Thanks to my wonderful girlfriends I'm in possession of a Switch at the beginning of a new Pokémon generation!

...

When I actually have the money for it my goal is still to get a team of Eeveeloutions (probably Umbreon, Espeon, Leafeon, Glaciom, Joltion, and Sylveon). Because who doesn't love a cute ickle Eevee?

I like Eevee. I wish Pokemon Generation 9 would release a new Eevee evolution.

[Rater202]

It took me 23 years and 20 days(nearly 21) to get one of the jokes in a Simpsons Episode.

In Treehouse of Horror X, the 1999 Halloween Special, one of the skits depicted Bart and Lisa respectively gaining rubber-man abilities and the "brick package" as superpowers after a malfunctioning X-Ray Machine irradiates both of them.

After they run off after Comic Book Guy, who here is the supervillain The Collector and is in the process of kidnapping Lucy Lawless, Marge leans out of the Window and shouts "Remember, you're susceptible to Kryptonite!" to which Homer shouts "Geez, Marge, tell the neighborhood!"

Now this isn't a joke in the traditional sense, it's just a shout-out to Superman... But I only just got the irony that Marge was just causally decimating the weakness of her own children, who are openly acting as superheroes(their empowerment was quite public and they're just in their costumes casually) and Homer, the guy whose main joke is that he's stupid, was the one with the common sense not to go blabbing about that.

[Peelee]

It took me 23 years and 20 days(nearly 21) to get one of the jokes in a Simpsons Episode.

In Treehouse of Horror X, the 1999 Halloween Special, one of the skits depicted Bart and Lisa respectively gaining rubber-man abilities and the "brick package" as superpowers after a malfunctioning X-Ray Machine irradiates both of them.

After they run off after Comic Book Guy, who here is the supervillain The Collector and is in the process of kidnapping Lucy Lawless, Marge leans out of the Window and shouts "Remember, you're susceptible to Kryptonite!" to which Homer shouts "Geez, Marge, tell the neighborhood!"

Now this isn't a joke in the traditional sense

.... That is a joke in the traditional sense, though.

[Rater202]

.... That is a joke in the traditional sense, though.

A traditional joke follows the formula of set-up-punchline. Some jokes have a bridge between the two in order to raise anticipation, but that's the basic formula.

This exchange doesn't have that, it's just a two-sentence dialog.

The humor comes from the irony of who is saying what. Reverse it so that Homer blurts out the children's literal Kryptonite factor and Marge is the one who chastises and it's just a shoutout or maybe just another joke about Homer being stupid.

[BisectedBrioche]

Welp, my laptop's dying (the fan's developed a fault, and the only replacement I can find is on Aliexpress, so it's up in the air if that'll work out), so I had to push my plans to get a new PC forward (luckily I managed to get some help with the first payment on it).

RIP my old laptop, 2014-202?

[Peelee]

A traditional joke follows the formula of set-up-punchline. Some jokes have a bridge between the two in order to raise anticipation, but that's the basic formula.

This exchange doesn't have that, it's just a two-sentence dialog.

The humor comes from the irony of who is saying what. Reverse it so that Homer blurts out the children's literal Kryptonite factor and Marge is the one who chastises and it's just a shoutout or maybe just another joke about Homer being stupid.

The two sentences are setup/punchline. It's a very straightforward, standard joke, as you yourself point out - with the people reversed, it's still a perfectly serviceable joke. Any two characters could make this joke - Karl and Lenny, Smithers and Mr. Burns, Lisa and Martin, etc etc.

Stupid characters don't have to be complete simpletons. They can realize things sometimes. And for The Simpsons, this isn't even an uncommon occurrence.

Welp, my laptop's dying (the fan's developed a fault, and the only replacement I can find is on Aliexpress, so it's up in the air if that'll work out), so I had to push my plans to get a new PC forward (luckily I managed to get some help with the first payment on it).

RIP my old laptop, 2014-202?

Ooo, self build for the new computer? Full tower?

[Anonymouswizard]

Ah Quatermass 2. We don't make science fiction like this anymore. The alien menace is very quiet and subtle compared to modern stories, like how the first story is more about finding thr monster than killing it. I kind of wish we'd go back to slower, more tension based SF films like this.

[Bartmanhomer]

So anyway I've been posting TikTok videos for quite a while now and I'm very happy at TikTok.

[LaZodiac]

RE all the ME2 talk... how did you get through the game without having done all the side quests first? That's... really shocking, honestly, more than anything else.

Yeah. ME2 be like that.

Also, if you put off the last mission for two long and hell of a lot of your NPC crew will die.

The game is all kinds of railroady: You can got to the Citadel and be reinstated as a Spectre before you reunite with the Vermire Survivor, which should nip that entire conflict in the bud but... Nope.

Also, I'm really confused about the alignment system. Why is sniping a non-sentient android that you're going to be shooting at in less than a minute anyway a renegade action? Why is headbutting that one Krogan jackass, which is the culturally appropriate means of de-escalating conflict(via asserting dominance) which pleases the nearby Krogan Shaman because it means that you're paying attention to and trying to learn their culture, a Renegade action, but pistol whipping that one ******* in Project Overlord out of shear anger at what he did a Paragon action?

To be fair, you're also willingly working with Cerberus. It's not great, but still.

Because the Renegade is the person who acts just a little fiercer, just a little more wild. You are Dirty Harry, so you're gonna snipe that guy straight away, you're gonna slam your head face into a giant alien lizards because That's How You Roll. Renegade is, at least on the tin, supposed to be that. Still a hero, just a hero with an attitude. Paragon is a paladin, a noble soul who tries to act by the book when she can.

The fact that the game boils it down to "you are the good guy" and "you are a space racist" is just another in a long line of Bioware not really knowing what proper nuance is.

Regarding Project Overlord: Renegade gets the prompt first, but the Paragon gets because

Spoiler: ME2 Overlord spoilers

Show

"hooking your autistic child up to an endless screaming hell of robot white noise"

is a bridge to far even for the paladin. This is a moment where the person deserves it, no matter what- for the Paragon you're just able to stomach a bit of the person's psychotic ramblings about how what they did was good actually before deciding they need to whip you across the face with a shotgun.

[Rater202]

Regarding Project Overlord: Renegade gets the prompt first, but the Paragon gets because

Spoiler: ME2 Overlord spoilers

Show

"hooking your autistic child up to an endless screaming hell of robot white noise"

is a bridge to far even for the paladin. This is a moment where the person deserves it, no matter what- for the Paragon you're just able to stomach a bit of the person's psychotic ramblings about how what they did was good actually before deciding they need to whip you across the face with a shotgun.

Spoiler

Show

It was his brother.

...I very much have mixed feelings about that.

David is very clearly a stereotype. He is your Rainman-esque "Magic Neurodivergent" character.

And that apparatus he's hooked into was clearly designed by Bioware's Art Team to be as pointlessly cruel and evil and edgy as possible rather than anything practical—the spikes through his arms serve no purpose for one...

...But on the other hand, that kind of callous disregard for the well-being of the neurodivergent or different and willingness to exploit the same, even by a family member, is real. That happens in real life all the god damn time.

Regarding Cerberus: You're not working with them willingly. They told you about a problem, gave you stuff, and TIM periodically sends you into a trap that he knows is a trap for... Reasons, but that's it.

The only reason you work with Cerberus is that no one else will work with you, but the main reason people won't work with you is that you're working with Cerberus. It's a catch 22.

The writers basically wrote everyone else stupid to justify Shepard working with terrorists.