Anonymouswizard's Astoundingly Assonant Random Banter #240

[Anonymouswizard]

A period of national mourning has begun. Reports suggest that normal BBC programming will resume in a year once the memorial programming is finished.

The Archers will continue as normal.

[Peelee]

It doesn't seem like poll creation is enabled for standard user accounts, either.

Huh. My powers seem to know no bound.

[TaiLiu]

that is actually a network of rivers caused by a man-made water distributary system! Originally the river would just go long the merry path it had, but they set up a system that sends it all out into the plains!

Also there are more rivers than just those, I just haven't put them on the map because I'm not 100% perfect at that sorta thing (gonna trust the artist who will do the proper map for that one).

Oh yay, glad I got the artificial part right.

Well, I got rejected from the 99 Fleeting Fantasy short story collection. Didn't expect to make it in anyway so whatever.

Oo, applying anywhere else?

On the plus side I finished up the map for my novels, which I'd like you all to look at with your eyes thank you VuV

I can confirm that I have experienced this with my eyeballs and brain.

[LaZodiac]

Oh yay, glad I got the artificial part right.


Oo, applying anywhere else?


I can confirm that I have experienced this with my eyeballs and brain.

Yeah!

If I see one maybe. If anyone wants to read the story I did I posted it here. Tell me your thoughts!

Hell yeah! I hope you enjoyed looking at it.

[Rater202]

I want to be an eldritch monstrosity that slithers ou from the shadows beneath people's beds and then helps them work through their psychological baggage.

An emotional support demon, if you will.

[Form]

Yessss, there's a special bakery that's already selling kruidnoten well before Sinterklaas. They might actually be around all year long, which means I can have kruidnoten whenever I want! Without needing to order them online, that is.

[Rater202]

kruidnoten

*googles*

*sees something delicious but with a high concentration of carbs and sugar*

*is disappoint*

[Metastachydium]

I want to be an eldritch monstrosity that slithers ou from the shadows beneath people's beds and then helps them work through their psychological baggage.

An emotional support demon, if you will.

That is a noble (if weird, given the planned execution) sentiment, but (and please note that I'm not trying to be insensitive) are you sure you are adequately equipped to perform that duty for others?

[Rater202]

That is a noble (if weird, given the planned execution) sentiment, but (and please note that I'm not trying to be insensitive) are you sure you are adequately equipped to perform that duty for others?

Probably not.

Doesn't mean it wouldn't be nice to be able to help people like that.

[TaiLiu]

Yeah!

If I see one maybe. If anyone wants to read the story I did I posted it here. Tell me your thoughts!

Hell yeah! I hope you enjoyed looking at it.

Heads up that your blog has, like, a login wall. We can't see it (or at least I can't).

Yeah, it was great! Excited to see the final or near-final version. :>

I want to be an eldritch monstrosity that slithers ou from the shadows beneath people's beds and then helps them work through their psychological baggage.

An emotional support demon, if you will.

Kinda like a psychotherapist with more slithering.

[LaZodiac]

Heads up that your blog has, like, a login wall. We can't see it (or at least I can't).

Yeah, it was great! Excited to see the final or near-final version. :>


Kinda like a psychotherapist with more slithering.

That's very strange and I don't know why that is. Tumblr is strange...

[Qwertystop]

Yeah, no, you want this version of the link: https://lazodiac.tumblr.com/post/694...es-short-story

[Rater202]

It's a well-written piece and a very interesting take a classic tale.

[Manga Shoggoth]

Yeah, no, you want this version of the link: https://lazodiac.tumblr.com/post/694...es-short-story

It's a well-written piece and a very interesting take a classic tale.

Yes, a very nice take on a classic story...

...I ask, purely out of interest: Did you pick that story to adapt because the slang term for "guitar" is "axe"?

[LaZodiac]

Yeah, no, you want this version of the link: https://lazodiac.tumblr.com/post/694...es-short-story

Thank you love I'm bad at tumblr I love you mwah.

It's a well-written piece and a very interesting take a classic tale.

Thanks! It's... really constraining to have to write between 500 to 1000 words so I'm glad it worked.

Yes, a very nice take on a classic story...

...I ask, purely out of interest: Did you pick that story to adapt because the slang term for "guitar" is "axe"?

Thanks! And yeah absolutely. I had the thought of "okay so guitars are axes, lets go from there".

[Rater202]

I like how your protagonist isn't even tempted by the guitars of gold and silver. He needs a guitar for his gig but the old acoustic has sentimental value.

And then when the lady is offering the traditional reward for passing that test of character he just sort of... Befriends her instead.

The original story was about honesty and integrity but this shows a differant strength of character entirely and I like that.

The more I think about it, the more I like it.

[LaZodiac]

I like how your protagonist isn't even tempted by the guitars of gold and silver. He needs a guitar for his gig but the old acoustic has sentimental value.

And then when the lady is offering the traditional reward for passing that test of character he just sort of... Befriends her instead.

The original story was about honesty and integrity but this shows a differant strength of character entirely and I like that.

The more I think about it, the more I like it.

Aw... that really means a lot to me. Thanks Rater.

I'm really glad people are enjoying it. I wasn't sure it was even good, when I sent it. So, thank you

Spoiler: Grousing about the ending which I'm spoiling to... preserve the story as is I guess? I don't know my brain acts weird sometimes

Show

If I had had more space, there would have been a final coda about them playing at the gig, being decently popular, and serving as a test for others- with the idea being that some people liked their work, some didn't, but a few were inspired to create themselves. A sort of good ending twist of the original story showing a man, seeing the woodsmen with his many axes, going out to try and "force" the situation to happen for himself without understanding the core reason. I feel like that woulda really sealed it as a great story, but I ran out of space- so I'm glad people can still enjoy it with the hopeful ending of them being friends now.

[Rater202]

Pop cultural trivia: DC's New Gods have access to a bit of technology called a Mother Box.

A supercomputer that varies in size from "a housing brick" to "a deck of cards," leaning towards the smaller size, a Mother Box draws her power directly from the Source of all Things, possesses omniscience in regard to a localized area, allows for the opening of portals between any two points in the universe or equivalent points between parallel universes, wirelessly interface with any tech the awakening of a unique power for each individual, and a variety of other abilities that add up together to amount to reality warping within that area previously defined area.

The Mother Box's computational power is enough to effortlessly hack a machine like Brainiac, her artificial intelligence is fully sapient, and a Mother Box feels nothing but unconditional love for the person she was created for.

Introduced in 1971 and consistantly treated as a common everyday appliance that everyone has, the Mother Box is thus the New God equivalent of a toaster.

[enderlord99]

Toaster? Not smartphone?

[Rater202]

Toaster? Not smartphone?

It was introduced in 1971.

Pong would not be released to the public till the following year. Personal computers were a distant, far-off dream.

A common everyday appliance would be a toaster or washing machine.

[enderlord99]

It was introduced in 1971.

Pong would not be released to the public till the following year. Personal computers were a distant, far-off dream.

A common everyday appliance would be a toaster or washing machine.

I meant "mother boxes then (to a new god) are like smartphones now (to humans)"

[Rater202]

I meant "mother boxes then (to a new god) are like smartphones now (to humans)"

Ah, fair enough.

Still, the toasters comparison is more accurate for how ubiquitous they are and the general level of New God tech.

[Anonymouswizard]

Pop cultural trivia: DC's New Gods have access to a bit of technology called a Mother Box.

A supercomputer that varies in size from "a housing brick" to "a deck of cards," leaning towards the smaller size, a Mother Box draws her power directly from the Source of all Things, possesses omniscience in regard to a localized area, allows for the opening of portals between any two points in the universe or equivalent points between parallel universes, wirelessly interface with any tech the awakening of a unique power for each individual, and a variety of other abilities that add up together to amount to reality warping within that area previously defined area.

The Mother Box's computational power is enough to effortlessly hack a machine like Brainiac, her artificial intelligence is fully sapient, and a Mother Box feels nothing but unconditional love for the person she was created for.

Introduced in 1971 and consistantly treated as a common everyday appliance that everyone has, the Mother Box is thus the New God equivalent of a toaster.

Oh wow, their computers are so powerful they kill plot. I have literally no clue why DC thought that would be a good idea.

It was introduced in 1971.

Pong would not be released to the public till the following year. Personal computers were a distant, far-off dream.

A common everyday appliance would be a toaster or washing machine.

We're about six years from the TRS-80 and a decade from the ZX-Spectrum. Personal computers are almost certainly foreseeable, although the projected timescale is likely off by decades. It also sounds surprisingly like what the conception of a PC would be, AI included.

A toaster is also a really bad comparison, it does literally one thing. I'd probably go for a range (oven+stovetop), multitool, or toolbox analogy

[Rater202]

Oh wow, their computers are so powerful they kill plot. I have literally no clue why DC thought that would be a good idea.

Their range of control for everything but the portals is like, a foot-wide radius around the user.

[Anonymouswizard]

Their range of control for everything but the portals is like, a foot-wide radius around the user unlimited because I can open a bloody wormhole right next to me.

Fixed that limitation for you. Heck, even without that obvious hack it still just outright destroys plot.

[enderlord99]

Since DC has a multiverse and also has splitting timelines as a distinct concept from said multiverse, I have a question about interaction between the two: are timelines and universes Intersectional (like in Dragon Ball Super) or Nested (like in Homestuck)?

[Rater202]

Fixed that limitation for you. Heck, even without that obvious hack it still just outright destroys plot.

The "Boom Tubes" are transportation only. Also really obvious that you're doing and not something that can be opened casually.

It's also a separate function from their localized awareness or their matter and energy manipulation abilities, the other side of the portal is not in range.

Also, considering that New Gods mostly get into conflict with other New Gods, everyone as these, and their effective reality warping isn't omnipotent or all-encompassing, I think you're drastically overestimating it's narrative impact.

The Mother Box serves the same narrative role as Batman's utility belt.

[Anonymouswizard]

The "Boom Tubes" are transportation only. Also really obvious that you're doing and not something that can be opened casually.

It's also a separate function from their localized awareness or their matter and energy manipulation abilities, the other side of the portal is not in range.

If it can be opened in seconds then as long as I'm not transporting directly into danger it's fine.

Also, considering that New Gods mostly get into conflict with other New Gods, everyone as these, and their effective reality warping isn't omnipotent or all-encompassing, I think you're drastically overestimating it's narrative impact.

The Mother Box serves the same narrative role as Batman's utility belt.

Ah, so the fact it's so powerful is basically pointless.

[TaiLiu]

That's very strange and I don't know why that is. Tumblr is strange...

Yeah, no, you want this version of the link: https://lazodiac.tumblr.com/post/694...es-short-story

Weird how Tumblr has two different kinds of links. That must be annoying.

I liked it! I'm not familiar with the myth behind your story, but your version is great.

[Peelee]

Ah, so the fact it's so powerful is basically pointless.

This is why I like Silver Age DC. DC and Marvel are inherently silly. It's built into their core. Silver Age DC embraced the silly. No planet eating monster who needs to be punched with the chaos diamonds. Just Superman being shrunk to an inch high for no reason.