Tzardok's Miscellaneous Homebrew Repository

[Tzardok]

To keep the thread from sinking while I keep procrastinating the implementation of Beni's suggestions ... and working on my project ... and everything else ... Have a few more Pale inspired items. I am not at all sure regarding the pricing, so feedback will be eagerly awaited.

Diverse Pale Items

Bug-Out Booze: This foul-smelling alcoholic spirit was originally invented by goblins to escape dangerous situations, but the recipe has since spread to other creatures with a tendency to mischief and no care for fine drinks.
When drinking a bottle of bug-out booze, the user disappears in time, like through the power time hop. One minute later, if the location the user was in is unobserved by intelligent beings, the drinker reawakens in the same spot, none worse for wear besides a horrid hangover. If the location is observed, the drinker stays disappeared until it isn't anymore or 10 minutes have passed, depending on what happens first.
Moderate psychoportation; ML 10th; Craft Universal Item, 8 ranks in either Profession (Brewing) or Craft (Alchemy), Detect Hostile Intent^XPH, Time Hop^XPH; 750 gp.

Escape Rope: This otherwise unremarkable piece of rope has an otherwordly shimmer to it. It's long enough to be worn as a belt and have a bit of length left. Escape ropes were created to give explorers sent to investigate other planes a handy exit route.
An escape rope must be worn as a belt to be used. The wearer can activate the rope as a move action by pulling on the freely dangling part of the rope. If the wearer is on their homeplane, nothing happens. But if the wearer is on another plane, he is instantly returned to the place where he left his homeplane. An escape rope can be used only once and loses its power afterward.
A major (and more expensive) variant exists that can be activated as an Immediate Action.
Some specific planar locations are too insidious to be escaped with an escape rope. Trying to use one in a divine realm whose deity has closed the borders will deposit the wearer in a random location within the realm. The same happens when trying to escape the Demiplane of Dread, the Demiplane of Imprisonment, one of the Lady's mazes, the Boundless or similar escape-proof locations.
Normal: Moderate abjuration; CL 7th; Craft Wondrous Item, Dismissal; 1,100 gp.
Major: Moderate abjuration; CL 11th; Craft Wondrous Item, Dismissal, Contingency; 1,800 gp.

Black Rope: The first Black Rope was found in a remote part of the Astral, where the Plane of Shadow had bled into the plane's fabric. Attempts to replicate the Rope were mostly successful.
A Black Rope is a short loop of pitch black rope. To use it, a character needs to sling it around her hand. When the character remains unobserved, she can teleport herself to any other unobserved location within 500 ft as if using dimensional door (except that she can still act after teleporting). A replica Black Rope can be used up to three times per day. The original one can allegedly be used at will.
Moderate conjuration (teleportation); CL 7th; Craft Wondrous Item, Dimensional Door or Step into Shadow^ToM; 22,000 gp.

Hot Lead: A Hot Lead is made from a spent bullet from a musket or other firearm by imprisoning a minor fire elemental in it and serves as a battery of magical energy. It feels hot to the touch, from barely noticeable when only one charge is left to nearly painfully hot when at five full charges.
When holding the Hot Lead in hand while activating an ability of an item that requires charges, the character may spend charges from the Hot Lead instead of the item's charges. A Hot Lead regains one charge per day as long as it has charges left. Spending the last charge extinguishes the elemental and renders the Lead useless.
Moderate evocation (if created with spells) or universal (if created with utterances); CL 9th; Craft Wondrous Item, Imbue with Spell Ability or Charge Item^{Book of Words}, Hallaster's Fetch I^Waterdeep or Anchor of Reality^ToM; 50,000 gp.
Note: I thought about creating a new utterance that can summon extraplanar creatures (something utterances can't do yet as far as I know). That one would then be a requirement instead of Anchor of Reality. But I couldn't come up with anything good on the fly; I couldn't even decide wether that should be a Evolving Mind or Crafted Tool utterance (and in the first case, what the reverse utterance should be). If somebody has an idea how to do this or already designed such an utterance, I'm all ear.

Odd-One-Out: An odd-one-out is a cursed item, designed to bring misfortune over its owner. Though it tends to look like a counterfeit coin or a marked card when separated from other items, this shapechanging item takes on the appearance of any item of which its current bearer carries multiple (at least three) and inserts itself into the bundle (it even copies the aura of those items, appearing magical or mundane as needed). At an inopportune moment, the bearer may try to use the odd-one-out instead of one of the genuine articles and screw things up. When this happens, the bearer is allowed a Spot check against DC 25 to notice that something is wrong with the item. If the bearer is aware that he carries an odd-one-out, the DC falls to 17.
Example 1: The odd-one-out becomes an arrow in a quiver. When the bearer draws the odd-one-out, he gets a chance to Spot the subtle differences. If he fails, the arrow shatters on the bow and showers him with sharp wood splinters, ruining the attack and dealing damage to bearer equal to the damage a successful attack would have dealt. (Alternatively, if the game includes a critical failure table, roll on the table).
Example 2: The odd-one-out becomes a coin in a purse. When the bearer tries to pay a merchant with it and fails the Spot check, the merchant will instantly recognize the odd-one-out as a fake, becoming unfriendly or even hostile to the bearer and accuse him of being a cheat and a forger.
Example 3: The odd-one-out sneaks into a deck of cards as a marked card. It will be dealt at a dangerous moment to the bearer and, if played, seem like an obvious attempt at cheating by his fellow players, again changing their attitude for the worse.
Example 4: The odd-one-out hides amongst vials of healing potion. When the bearer fails the spot check and drinks it, it reveals itself to be acid or another damaging liquid, dealing acid damage equal to the amount the potion would have cured.
After the odd-one-out has caused a problem this way, it disappears when not paid attention to and reconstitutes itself somewhere on its bearer's person as part of another bundle of items.
An odd-one-out has no special compulsion to be kept. If one can recognize it for what it is, one can discard it without problems.
Strong transmutation; CL 16th; Craft Wondrous Item, Polymorph Any Object, Nystul's Magical Aura, Bestow Curse; 9,000 gp.

Weapons Ring: A weapons ring resembles a ring of iron and brass with a protruding decorative blade. Technically a cursed item, it allows you to never be unarmed at the price of the strength you need to actually wield the weapon, unless you can feed its hunger in a different way.
The wearer can transform an unattended mundane object that is not part of a bigger structure into a weapon with a touch. The weapon must have the same size as the original object, and this size must be one that the wearer can wield as a weapon. The weapon looks like it is made of the same material as the original object, but works just as well as a normal one. The wearer is proficient with the created weapon. He also can dismiss the transmutation with a standard action. The ring can only create one weapon at a time. If the ring is used to create a projectile weapon, it also creates one stack of ammunition with it. After five minutes, the transformation ends.
The drawback of the weapons ring is that the wearer must feed some of his self to the ring. Whenever it is used to create a weapon, the wearer takes 1 point Charisma burn and 1 point ability burn^XPH to whatever their highest (unmodified) ability is (if that is Charisma, he takes 2 points Charisma burn). Alternatively, the wearer may sacrifice a charge from another magical item he carries to the ring. By feeding the ring more, the created weapon can be enchanted. For each additional 2 points of ability burn (one to Cha, one to the highest ability) or each additional charge sacrificed, the created weapon will get an enhancement bonus of +1. The maximal enhancement bonus of the created weapon is dependant on the user's HD: a wearer with at least 2 HD can create a +1 weapon. For every 4 HD after the second HD the enhancement bonus can be increased by +1.
Strong transmutation; CL 13th; Forge Ring, Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Fabricate; 31,000 gp.

[Beni-Kujaku]

To keep the thread from sinking while I keep procrastinating the implementation of Beni's suggestions ...

This is your personal unfinished business! You cannot abandon this thread until you've implemented them. And I'll make daaaaaamn sure this thread isn't abandoned. Hehehehe.... Hahahahaha!!!

Bug-Out Booze:

Maybe say "as by Time Hop" to explicitate "disappears". Otherwise nice. A potion of ML 10 Time Hop (or the psionic equivalent) would be 1,500 gp, but potions are very overpriced and it's not a buff spell, so 750 gp seems ok. I don't think I would buy it with a character, but that applies to 95% of official items.

Escape Rope:

It's called a move action, not a movement action. An item requiring Contingency should be at least CL 11. The price seems right. Wouldn't Contingency mean you could activate it as an immediate action, maybe for 1800gp or smth?I'd like to see a group or reusable version for planar guides. In a word, I like it.

Black Rope:

Cape of the Mountebank, but 3/day and you can act, but you have to be unobserved. I'd say it should explicitly take up a body slot or be more expensive, maybe around 33k?

Hot Lead:

Wow. This one's a doozy. Does it work on things that say they work a number of times per day? Does it work on things that do not explicitly require charges, but stop working after a certain number of uses? Can I use one charge from the Lead and two from my staff to cast a spell that requires three charges? It's quite a versatile and powerful item even if you limit it to wands and staves, but it becomes broken if it can apply to something like a Ring of Three Wishes. I'd say 50k is a better first price, or even higher depending on the specifics.
Fun items with charges that weren't supposed to be reuseable : Ring of Nine Lives, Golden Chalice of Lathander, Quaal's Cloak. I thought there'd be more broken ones, but staves are already quite good for it.

Note: I thought about creating a new utterance that can summon extraplanar creatures (something utterances can't do yet as far as I know). That one would then be a requirement instead of Anchor of Reality. But I couldn't come up with anything good on the fly; I couldn't even decide wether that should be a Evolving Mind or Crafted Tool utterance (and in the first case, what the reverse utterance should be). If somebody has an idea how to do this or already designed such an utterance, I'm all ear.

An Utterance is much better at calling something than summoning them (like Conjunctive Gate). Talking to the universe either changes targetted things or creates targetted things, but creating a temporary animated copy of a planar creature you don't actually target is a weird use. I'd say it would be a Perfected Map utterance. You target a terrain so that it attracts the essence of a creature that was there a long time ago, with no actual control over what the summoned creature is. That or an Evolving Mind, but it would actually attract a kind of creature under a specific CR ("I target a bugbear") and you'd have to barter with it, Planar Binding-style. Speaking a Personal Truename would allow to teleport a specific creature to you instead. The reverse would be an Antipathy effect preventing the specific kind of creature from approaching you. I haven't actually seen any similar homebrew either.

Odd-One-Out:

Another odd one. PCs don't usually have several of anything except money (and arrows for archers), and using money is generally in safe zones, so the odd-one-out will generally not do much. There is no indication of how much harm it does (how much damage?) or if Remove Curse could help identifying it. The mechanics are wonky, and I'm not sure how to price it.

Weapons Ring:

Can transform an *unattended, mundane* item *that is not part of a bigger structure*. We don't want people transforming artifacts of doom and phylacteries into cheap arrows. How long does the weapon last? There has to be a failsafe to prevent the wearer from using it too much. 10 points of Cha and Dex burn during downtime and 31k gp to get an epically-enhanced bow is an issue, especially if the wearer can sell the bow afterwards. As is, unrateable, but it should be around the right price if it is balanced.

[Metastachydium]

This is your personal unfinished business! You cannot abandon this thread until you've implemented them. And I'll make daaaaaamn sure this thread isn't abandoned. Hehehehe.... Hahahahaha!!!

And to think I thought Tzardok was the Devil here!

[Tzardok]

Finally got around to this.

This is your personal unfinished business! You cannot abandon this thread until you've implemented them. And I'll make daaaaaamn sure this thread isn't abandoned. Hehehehe.... Hahahahaha!!!

I'll take that as both a compliment that my work is worth keeping around and as a promise that you'll give me your motivation and inspiration when I need it.

Maybe say "as by Time Hop" to explicitate "disappears". Otherwise nice. A potion of ML 10 Time Hop (or the psionic equivalent) would be 1,500 gp, but potions are very overpriced and it's not a buff spell, so 750 gp seems ok. I don't think I would buy it with a character, but that applies to 95% of official items.

Added in.

It's called a move action, not a movement action.

Sorry. Another germanism on my part (a move action is called a Bewegungsaktion in German, which translates as, well, movement action). Fixed.

An item requiring Contingency should be at least CL 11.

Should it? I had the impression that when a magic item has a spell as a requirement, but doesn't actually cast it, it's not bound to minimum caster levels.

Wouldn't Contingency mean you could activate it as an immediate action, maybe for 1800gp or smth?

Good point. I was thinking about making it immediate, but then I felt that move action was a bit more true to the source material. Should I remove Contingency or change it to Immediate? ... I'll split the difference and do both.

Cape of the Mountebank, but 3/day and you can act, but you have to be unobserved. I'd say it should explicitly take up a body slot or be more expensive, maybe around 33k?

Price increased.

Wow. This one's a doozy. Does it work on things that say they work a number of times per day? Does it work on things that do not explicitly require charges, but stop working after a certain number of uses? Can I use one charge from the Lead and two from my staff to cast a spell that requires three charges? It's quite a versatile and powerful item even if you limit it to wands and staves, but it becomes broken if it can apply to something like a Ring of Three Wishes. I'd say 50k is a better first price, or even higher depending on the specifics.
Fun items with charges that weren't supposed to be reuseable : Ring of Nine Lives, Golden Chalice of Lathander, Quaal's Cloak. I thought there'd be more broken ones, but staves are already quite good for it.

I was originally thinking about allowing it for all kinds of items, even those that don't explicitely mention charges, and just let people have all the delicious brokenness that could happen. Then you mentioned the Ring of Three Wishes...
So yeah, the word "charge" does actually have to be used (would the phrasing need to be changed?). I'm not sure what to do with combining the item's and the lead's charges.

An Utterance is much better at calling something than summoning them (like Conjunctive Gate). Talking to the universe either changes targetted things or creates targetted things, but creating a temporary animated copy of a planar creature you don't actually target is a weird use. I'd say it would be a Perfected Map utterance. You target a terrain so that it attracts the essence of a creature that was there a long time ago, with no actual control over what the summoned creature is. That or an Evolving Mind, but it would actually attract a kind of creature under a specific CR ("I target a bugbear") and you'd have to barter with it, Planar Binding-style. Speaking a Personal Truename would allow to teleport a specific creature to you instead. The reverse would be an Antipathy effect preventing the specific kind of creature from approaching you. I haven't actually seen any similar homebrew either.

Hmmm... Let's see if I can do something with that...

Another odd one. PCs don't usually have several of anything except money (and arrows for archers), and using money is generally in safe zones, so the odd-one-out will generally not do much. There is no indication of how much harm it does (how much damage?) or if Remove Curse could help identifying it. The mechanics are wonky, and I'm not sure how to price it.

In short, I shouldn't have skimped on the paragraph with the examples?

I tried to clarify a bit how I imagine it works:

Odd-One-Out: An odd-one-out is a cursed item, designed to bring misfortune over its owner. Though it tends to look like a counterfeit coin or a marked card when separated from other items, this shapechanging item takes on the appearance of any item of which its current bearer carries multiple (at least three) and inserts itself into the bundle (it even copies the aura of those items, appearing magical or mundane as needed). At an inopportune moment, the bearer may try to use the odd-one-out instead of one of the genuine articles and screw things up. When this happens, the bearer is allowed a Spot check against DC 25 to notice that something is wrong with the item. If the bearer is aware that he carries an odd-one-out, the DC falls to 17.
Example 1: The odd-one-out becomes an arrow in a quiver. When the bearer draws the odd-one-out, he gets a chance to Spot the subtle differences. If he fails, the arrow shatters on the bow and showers him with sharp wood splinters, ruining the attack and dealing damage to bearer equal to the damage a successful attack would have dealt. (Alternatively, if the game includes a critical failure table, roll on the table).
Example 2: The odd-one-out becomes a coin in a purse. When the bearer tries to pay a merchant with it and fails the Spot check, the merchant will instantly recognize the odd-one-out as a fake, becoming unfriendly or even hostile to the bearer and accuse him of being a cheat and a forger.
Example 3: The odd-one-out sneaks into a deck of cards as a marked card. It will be dealt at a dangerous moment to the bearer and, if played, seem like an obvious attempt at cheating by his fellow players, again changing their attitude for the worse.
Example 4: The odd-one-out hides amongst vials of healing potion. When the bearer fails the spot check and drinks it, it reveals itself to be acid or another damaging liquid, dealing acid damage equal to the amount the potion would have cured.
After the odd-one-out has caused a problem this way, it disappears when not paid attention to and reconstitutes itself somewhere on its bearer's person as part of another bundle of items.
An odd-one-out has no special compulsion to be kept. If one can recognize it for what it is, one can discard it without problems.
Strong transmutation; CL 16th; Craft Wondrous Item, Polymorph Any Object, Nystul's Magical Aura, Bestow Curse; 9,000 gp.

Does it now seem alright or is there anything else that requires clarification?

Can transform an *unattended, mundane* item *that is not part of a bigger structure*. We don't want people transforming artifacts of doom and phylacteries into cheap arrows. How long does the weapon last? There has to be a failsafe to prevent the wearer from using it too much. 10 points of Cha and Dex burn during downtime and 31k gp to get an epically-enhanced bow is an issue, especially if the wearer can sell the bow afterwards. As is, unrateable, but it should be around the right price if it is balanced.

Good points. I added the corrections and a duration (5 minutes). I also added a limit to how far the enhancement bonus can be increased. Is this sentence correctly formulated or too clunky:
The maximal enhancement bonus of the created weapon is dependant on the user's HD: a wearer with at least 2 HD can create a +1 weapon. For every 4 HD after the second HD the enhancement bonus can be increased by +1.

[Tzardok]

I just stumbled over one of my older works and decided to repost it here. This is a conversion to 3.5 of a fanmade conversion to 3.0 of a 2e creature, and was originally published here.

The Queen of Chaos
Huge Outsider (Chaotic, Evil, Obyrith)
Hit Dice: 20d8+120 (210 hp)
Initiative: +5 (+1 Dex, +4 Improved Initiative)
Speed: 20 ft, swim 40 ft
AC: 34 (-2 size, +1 Dex, +25 natural), touch 9, flat-footed 33
Base Attack/Grapple: +20/+39
Attack: +5 anarchic returning trident +35 melee (1d12+16 and 2d6 chaotic damage to lawful creatures); or tentacle melee +29 (2d4+11); or +5 anarchic returning trident +20 ranged (1d12+11 and 2d6 chaotic damage to lawful creatures)
Full Attack: +5 anarchic returning trident +35/+30/+25/+20 melee (1d12+16 and 2d6 chaotic damage to lawful creatures) and 2 tentacles +27 melee (2d4+5); or +5 anarchic returning trident +20 ranged (1d12+11 and 2d6 chaotic damage to lawful creatures)
Face/Reach: 15 ft/15 ft (60 ft with tentacles)
Special Attacks: Constrict (2d4+11), crush (2d6+11), form of madness, improved grab, noxious cloud, spell-like abilities, tear (2d6+5)
Special Qualities: Chaos gate, damage reduction 20/cold iron, epic and lawful, darkvision 60 ft, empathic link, immunity to mind-affecting and poison, regeneration 10, resistance 20 to cold, electricity, fire and acid, SR 34, telepathy 100 ft, true sight
Saves: Fort +18, Ref +13, Will +19
Abilities: Str 32, Dex 13, Con 22, Int 24, Wis 24, Cha 20
Skills: Bluff +28, Concentration +29, Diplomacy +32, Disguise +5 (+7 to pretend to be someone else), Hide -7, Intimidate +30, Knowledge (arcana) +30, Knowledge (Nature) +9, Knowledge (the planes) +30, Knowledge (history) +30, Listen +38, Search +30, Sense Motive +30, Sleight of Hand +3, Spellcraft +32, Spot +38, Survival +30 (+32 when tracking someone, +32 on other planes), Swim +42, Use Magic Item +28, Use Rope +1 (+3 to tie someone up)
Feats: Dark Speech^B, Cleave, Combat Reflexes, Great Cleave, Improved Initiative, Multiattack, Power Attack, Weapon Focus (trident)
Climate/Terrain: Abyss (Steaming Fen)
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 26
Treasure: Double standard
Alignment: Chaotic evil

The Queen of Chaos is an ancient demon queen of the obyrith whose true name is long forgotten. She was the only demon to ever unify a significant amount of demons under her rulership, and she was the driving force of Chaos during the War of Law and Chaos. Yes, some even credit her with creating the first tanar'ri from the first mortal souls to enter the Abyss. For a long time she ruled side by side with her consort Miska the Wolf-Spider, whom she had raised personally to the position of Prince of Demons, until during the final battle at Pesh he was banished and imprisoned with the power of the artifact nowadays known as the Rod of Seven Parts. With that, the tanar'ri, the slaads and the eladrin turned against the Queen and the obyrith, ending the War of Law and Chaos with a win for Law and shattering the obyriths' supremacy in the Abyss. The Queen retreated to her personal realm in the Steaming Fen, layer 6 of the Abyss, and has been plotting to find the Seven Parts of the Rod to free Miska and regain her rulership since then.
The Queen's lower body is a mass of squid-like tentacles, mauve in color; a beak lies hidden among her lower tentacles. The tentacles are always shiny with slime, and a twisted network of red and purple veins can be seen through her skin. Her upper body is humanoid, female, and grossly fat with bluish skin. Her eyes and hair are dark green and hangs in drooping curls. She stands about 25 feet tall.

An opponent can make sunder attempts againstthe Queen’s tentacles as if they were weapons. The tentacles have 15 hit points. If the Queen is currently grappling a target with one tentacle, it usually uses another limb to make its attack of opportunity against the sunder attempt. Severing a tentacle deals the same amount of damage to the Queen.
Spell-Like Abilities: At will—chain lightning (DC 21), chaos hammer (DC 19), clairvoyance/clairaudience, deeper darkness, desecrate, detect good, detect law, detect magic, fear (DC 19), greater dispel magic, major image (DC 18), magic circle against law, magic missile, mantle of chaos (DC 23), mass charm monster (DC 23), pyrotechnics (DC 17), read magic, slow (DC 18), suggestion (DC 18), symbol of death (DC 23), symbol of insanity (DC 23), symbol of pain (DC 20), symbol of persuasion (DC 21), symbol of weakness (DC 22), telekinesis, greater teleport (self plus 50 pounds of objects only), tongues (self only), unhallow, ventriloquism, and word of chaos (DC 22); 3/day—polymorph any object (DC 23); 1/day—circle of death (DC 21). Caster level: 20th.
Improved Grab (Ex): To use this ability, the Queen must hit an opponent with a tentacle attack. If she gets a hold, she can constrict.
Constrict (Ex): The Queen deals 2d4+11 points of damage with a successful grapple check against Large or smaller creatures. She may pass a trapped creature to the tentacles on her lower body in order to free up her primary tentacles. This is a free action. A foe still takes constriction damage each round regardless of which tentacle holds it.
Noxious Cloud (Su): Once every hour, the Queen can exhale a cloud of noxious gas in a 30ft cone obscuring vision as deeper darkness and nauseating creatures as stinking cloud (Fortitude save DC 26). The DC is based on Con.
Crush (Ex): The Queen may place a constricted opponent under her massive lower body as a standard action. A trapped opponent takes 2d6+11 points of crushing damage per round. A creature may escape by making an Escape Artist check or Strength check with a DC of 32. DC is based on Str.
Tear (Ex): If the Queen is crushing one or more enemies under her body, she can bite one of them per round with a beak hidden among her tentacles. This bite hits automatically and deals 2d6+5 points of damage.
Empathic Link (Su): The Queen has a sixth sense concerning the Rod of Seven Parts and can sense its precise location when a creature begins assembling the pieces or when the wielder uses one of the Rod’s powers. This ability is not inhibited by distance or plane, though she can only detect the Rod if it is in the Abyss, the Material Plane, or the current plane in which she is traveling.
Regeneration (Ex): The Queen of Chaos takes normal damage from lawful weapons and effects and from epic weapons. If she loses a tentacle or body part, the lost portion regrows in 4d12 hours.
Chaos Gate (Su): Three times per hour, when the Queen detects the Rod being used, she can create a gate within 30 feet of her. The other end opens in the Abyss or the Material Plane 1d10 x 10 ft + 20 ft. feet away from the current wielder of the Rod. For each piece of the Rod that has been assembled, subtract 10 feet from the distance the gate appears in front of the wielder. Through this gate, the Queen will send a pack or troupe of spider-demons to slay the wielder and retrieve the Rod.
Any creature except for demons that steps through the gate (on either side) has a 25% chance of being swept to a random outer plane of existence.
Objects and magical effects cannot pass through the chaos gate unless worn or carried.
Form of Madness (Su): Any non-demon creature within 120 feet that observes the Queen of Chaos must attempt a Will save (DC 25; DC is based on Cha). Failure means that the creature perceives the endless rift of chaos that the obyriths desire to bring about across the multiverse, standing fascinated until broken free of the effect. Creatures so affected take a -4 penalty to saving throws to escape being fascinated (such as due to an approaching hostile creature), and must make a save (with a +4 bonus) for any other circumstance that would normally end fascination immediately. Blocking off the creature's line of sight to the Queen completely instantly ends the fascination, as does dispel chaos or a dictum. Similar effects may also be successful.
The horror of the Queen's form of madness is particularly insidious. A creature that has failed a saving throw against this effect begins to believe the world is inherently wrong, that lines and shapes and order are a kind of toxic rigidity, a prison for the mind, a chain for the soul. The victim takes a morale penalty of -2 to all rolls made while acting under the direction of another (whether an order, an encouragement, or a suggestion), as they dread the idea that freedom may not exist. Similarly, they take a -2 morale penalty to any rolls made while knowingly in the company of lawful creatures, as they suffer from a terror that such beings are automatons attempting to keep the multiverse in a fixed and inescapable state. Once per week, the victim must make another Will save. On a failure, they suffer 1 point of Wisdom drain and their alignment shiftsone step towards chaotic on the law-chaos axis, or towards evil on the good-evil axis if the creature is already chaotic. A victim whose Wisdom reaches 0 is transformed into a beast of chaos.
Heal or greater restoration can cure the effects if the caster makes a DC 30 caster level check, as can modify memory if the experience of seeing the Queen is removed from the victim's mind. Any Wisdom drain sustained converts to Wisdom damage and recovers normally. The experience of changing alignment, even temporarily, may have long-term repercussions for the victim. Once the transformation is complete, only a wish or miracle can reverse it - such spells will also instantly cure the effects of the form of madness.

[Beni-Kujaku]

Should it? I had the impression that when a magic item has a spell as a requirement, but doesn't actually cast it, it's not bound to minimum caster levels.

From the SRD : "While item creation costs are handled in detail below, note that normally the two primary factors are the caster level of the creator and the level of the spell or spells put into the item. A creator can create an item at a lower caster level than her own, but never lower than the minimum level needed to cast the needed spell."

Good point. I was thinking about making it immediate, but then I felt that move action was a bit more true to the source material. Should I remove Contingency or change it to Immediate? ... I'll split the difference and do both.

The lesser and greater versions are good.

So yeah, the word "charge" does actually have to be used (would the phrasing need to be changed?). I'm not sure what to do with combining the item's and the lead's charges.

Seems better that way. Honestly just leaving it as is to the DM and rules-lawyers to decide whether combining the charges is possible is not bad.

Hmmm... Let's see if I can do something with that...

We'll be following your carreer with great attention.

I tried to clarify a bit how I imagine it works:
Does it now seem alright or is there anything else that requires clarification?

I like it. The examples are detailed enough to give an idea of what to expect of other uses.

The Queen of Chaos
Spell-Like Abilities: At will—chain lightning (DC 21), chaos hammer (DC 19), clairvoyance/clairaudience, deeper darkness, desecrate, detect good, detect law, detect magic, fear (DC 19), greater dispel magic, major image (DC 18), magic circle against law, magic missile, mantle of chaos (DC 23), mass charm monster (DC 23), pyrotechnics (DC 17), read magic, slow (DC 18), suggestion (DC 18), symbol of death (DC 23), symbol of insanity (DC 23), symbol of pain (DC 20), symbol of persuasion (DC 21), symbol of weakness (DC 22), telekinesis, greater teleport (self plus 50 pounds of objects only), tongues (self only), unhallow, ventriloquism, and word of chaos (DC 22); 3/day—polymorph any object (DC 23); 1/day—circle of death (DC 21). Caster level: 20th.

Typical obyrith lord SLAs. PAO is strong. With 20th level cleric casting, Obyrith perks and form of madness, it may be higher than CR 24. Maybe 25 or 26.

Constrict (Ex):An attack with a slashing weapon that deals at least 15 points of damage severs a tentacle (AC 25).

Does this require a Sunder attempt? Or to specifically target the tentacle? Does the Queen take the 15 damage?

Tear (Ex): A beak hidden among her tentacles automatically bites a trapped opponent for 2d6+5 points of damage each round.

How is it different from Constrict? If it's not, then add it to Constrict. If it only affects one creature, then say "one trapped creature each round for ...damage", rather than "a trapped opponent for ... damage each turn".

Noxious Cloud (Su): Affected as by deeper darkness and stinking cloud, cone, 30 feet, once per hour; Fortitude save (DC 26). DC is based on Con.

Use a sentence. "Once every hour, the Queen can exhale a cloud of noxious gas in a 30ft cone obscuring vision as deeper darkness and nauseating creatures as stinking cloud (Fortitude save DC 26). The DC is based on Con."

Chaos Gate (Su): Three times per hour, when the Queen detects the Rod being used, she can create a gate within 30 feet of her. The other end opens in the Abyss or the Material Plane 1d10 x 10 ft + 20 ft. feet away from the current wielder of the Rod. For each piece of the Rod that has been assembled, subtract 10 feet from the distance the gate appears in front of the wielder. Through this gate, the Queen will send a pack or troupe of spider-demons to slay the wielder and retrieve the Rod.

Can the Rod actually be used if it is not fully assembled? Maybe make it so that the Queen can open the Gate every time a new fragment of the Rod is assembled. Why does she not simply steps through herself to absolutely destroy the poor PCs who found the first and second fragments? Is she bound to her realm somehow? I don't have the courage to read the whole Rod of Seven Parts adventure book just to find out. I'd say she fears the power of the Rod itself, even incomplete. It has the power to make things act more Lawful, which is the exact opposite of the Queen's own power, and she knows exactly what alignment-changing magic can do to someone, and wants nothing to do with it, unless she absolutely has no choice, when the last or penultimate fragment is assembled.

Form of Madness (Su):The victim suffers a -2 morale penalty to any action done at the direction of another, whether an order, an encouragement, or a suggestion, as they dread the idea that freedom may not exist.

The form of madness is extremely cool, but that sentence makes no sense, either in english or in D&D. Does it affect attacks or spells? To what die does the -2 apply? It would be more streamlined to just have it apply to Diplomacy, Gather Information, Handle Animal, Intimidation and Sense Motive skill checks.

On a failure, they suffer 1 point of Wisdom drain and their alignment shifts one step toward chaotic evil.

*one step towards chaotic on the law-chaos axis, or towards evil on the good-evil axis if the creature is already chaotic*

[Tzardok]

From the SRD : "While item creation costs are handled in detail below, note that normally the two primary factors are the caster level of the creator and the level of the spell or spells put into the item. A creator can create an item at a lower caster level than her own, but never lower than the minimum level needed to cast the needed spell."

Alright.

I like it. The examples are detailed enough to give an idea of what to expect of other uses.

I'm glad.

Typical obyrith lord SLAs. PAO is strong. With 20th level cleric casting, Obyrith perks and form of madness, it may be higher than CR 24. Maybe 25 or 26.

Adjusted CR.

Does this require a Sunder attempt? Or to specifically target the tentacle? Does the Queen take the 15 damage?

This seems like a 3.0-ism that snuck into it. I changed it to use the language the kraken has (which means that the tentacles are now sunder-able).

How is it different from Constrict? If it's not, then add it to Constrict. If it only affects one creature, then say "one trapped creature each round for ...damage", rather than "a trapped opponent for ... damage each turn".

It's connected to Crush, not to Constrict. I changed the wording and maade it clearer.

Use a sentence. "Once every hour, the Queen can exhale a cloud of noxious gas in a 30ft cone obscuring vision as deeper darkness and nauseating creatures as stinking cloud (Fortitude save DC 26). The DC is based on Con."

Fixed.

Can the Rod actually be used if it is not fully assembled?

It can, actually. Each piece can be used to cast a single spell per day, and they get additional abilities the more are together.

The form of madness is extremely cool, but that sentence makes no sense, either in english or in D&D. Does it affect attacks or spells? To what die does the -2 apply? It would be more streamlined to just have it apply to Diplomacy, Gather Information, Handle Animal, Intimidation and Sense Motive skill checks.

I think it makes perfectly sense. It essentially says "Everytime you tell me to do something, I get a penalty to all rolls I make as part of doing that something." You tell me to attack, I take a penalty to my attack rolls. You say "Dodge the fireball!", I get a penalty to my reflex save. You ask me to walk the dog, I get penalties to my Handle Animal check. And so on. I rewrote the sentence to make it clearer.

*one step towards chaotic on the law-chaos axis, or towards evil on the good-evil axis if the creature is already chaotic*

Changed.

[Beni-Kujaku]

I think it makes perfectly sense. It essentially says "Everytime you tell me to do something, I get a penalty to all rolls I make as part of doing that something." You tell me to attack, I take a penalty to my attack rolls. You say "Dodge the fireball!", I get a penalty to my reflex save. You ask me to walk the dog, I get penalties to my Handle Animal check. And so on. I rewrote the sentence to make it clearer.

Oooh! I misread it completely. I thought "at the direction of another" meant something like "towards someone else" (and was supposed to be "in the direction of", since it was followed by "like an encouragement...". I thought the affected creature was the one doing the encouragement/order. I think it should then be "under the direction of another creature" rather than "at". Thank you for the clarification. It makes much more sense now. I still think it should be further clarified to "[...] to all rolls made while acting under the direction of another [...]".

[Tzardok]

Done. I think it looks a bit more concise now too.

[Tzardok]

I'm not sure wether this actually counts as a pun, but whatever.

Just for Pun 5: Spherical Cow
Large Aberration
Hit Dice: 3d8+12 (25 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: Flying 30 ft. (6 squares) (Perfect)
Amor Class: 13 (-1 Size, +4 natural), touch 9, Flat footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple: +2/+12
Attack: Multiple Gores melee +7 (1d8+6)
Full Attack: Multiple Gores melee +7 (1d8+6)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Abstracted Bodyshape
Special Qualities: Blindsight 60 ft., breathless, weakness to gravity
Saves: Fort +4, Ref +1, Will +3
Abilities: Str 22, Dex 10, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 11, Cha 4
Skills: Survival +6
Feats: Endurance, Improved Toughness
Environment: Quasielemental Plane of Vacuum
Organisation: Singular, constellation (2-5) or herd (6-30)
Challenge Rating: 2
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 4-8 HD (large); 9 HD (huge)
Level Adjustment: -

Spherical cows are creatures native to the Quasielemental Plane of Vacuum. Though they exist wild, they are the preferred lifestock of the few native societies that actually require sustenance, like the local ruvoka.
A spherical cow resembles a perfectly smooth orb with a diameter of at least 6 ft, often more. Its surface is covered in white and black irregular spots. The creature feeds on vacuum pseudomatter and various detritus floating in its surroundings. These are simply absorbed through the skin. A cow can survive on other gravityless planes like the Ethereal by absorbing local substances like protomatter, but it won't thrive under these circumstances. Spherical cows reproduce asexually; roughly once every two years a cow will bud a calf, unless starved. Spherical calves grow up in seven months and start budding three years after that. A spherical cow roughly lives fourteen years.
If a spherical cow doesn't feel threatened, it can be induced through gently punching the surface (hungry calves bump into their dams) into exuding milk from its skin. This milk is just as nourishing as normal cow milk, maybe even more, but it is completely homogenous, has a smooth practically nonexistent texture, and the most averagely milky taste imaginable.

Abstracted Bodyshape (Ex): A spherical cow's body is absolutely spherical, unless it is not. When the creature needs to have body parts, it has them, when it doesn't need them, it doesn't. For this reason, a spherical cow can make as a Standard Action a gore attack against every creature within reach. It is simply assumed that the horns (that it doesn't have when it doesn't need them) are in the correct direction for any given creature.
For the same reason the cow can't be flanked and enjoys a 50% fortification against critical hits, sneak attacks, etc. No side of the cow actually differs from any other side, and the shifting of vital organs in location and out of existence makes them difficult to hit.
Breathless (Ex): A spherical cow does not breathe, so it is immune to drowning, suffocation, and attacks that require inhalation (such as some types of poisons).
Weakness to Gravity (Ex): A spherical cow is adapted to places without gravity. On planes and in locations with no gravity or subjective gravity (which treat the cow as if it was mindless), it can survive without problems, but anywhere where gravitational forces rule, they rapidly die. On a plane with light strength gravity, a spherical cow takes 1d6 damage per 10 minutes. On a plane with normal strength gravity it takes 1d6 damage per minute. On a plane with heavy gravity, it takes 1d6 damage per round.
Abilities and spells that use gravity to deal damage deal double the amount of damage to a spherical cow, and those that impose gravity in some way on the cow, but normally don't deal damage, cause 1d6 damage per spell level if successful.

[Tzardok]

+28/+23/+18/+13 (3d8+16 &c.) for the sword (Weapon Focus, Weapon Specialization).

I thought Melee Weapon Mastery overwrites those. Isn't the description of the feat that you can apply your weapon focus and specialization to all weapons off the chosen category?

Huh. That's not in the benefit line, but yeah, it's there, so… I'd let them stack, but I guess that's fair.

Incidentally, I just stumbled over the errata of the PHB 2, and there it says that Melee Weapon Mastery explicitely stacks with Weapon Focus and Weapon Specialization, so I applied those to General Ticktock now.

[Metastachydium]

Incidentally, I just stumbled over the errata of the PHB 2, and there it says that Melee Weapon Mastery explicitely stacks with Weapon Focus and Weapon Specialization, so I applied those to General Ticktock now.

Mine intuition knoweth no limit! (And man, Melee Weapon Mastery does need that buffing.)

I'm not sure wether this actually counts as a pun, but whatever.

The greatest of puns in this game is Pun-Pun, who's not even a pun. I'll allow it.

Just for Pun 5: Spherical Cow

Many a catgirl died this day. Good.

Large Aberration (Extraplanar)

(Hrm. While that really is the prevailing custom for such creatures, the Spherical Cow is something of an odd duck in that it has no good reason to ever leave its home plane (and gain the Extraplanar subtype) and every reason not to ever do that.)

Attack: Multiple Gores melee +7 (1d8+9)
Full Attack: Multiple Gores melee +7 (1d8+9)

Make no mistake: I LOVE this, but I kind of feel like it's crazy broken enough without each attack being treated as a single attack by a singular natural weapon and getting the 1,5×STR.

Organisation: Singular

Deliberate astrophysics pun, or just your accent showing?

Level Adjustment: +3

I thought you said you think INT 2 still means inherently animal-level intelligence even if the type would regularly allow higher values. That aside, I'm not sure making this playable is a good idea. It is hideously unbalanced in marvelous ways, but it's pretty much locked into the "murderize melee mobs on a no gravity plane" role.

If a spherical cow doesn't feel threatened, it can be induced through gently punching the surface (hungry calves bump into their dams) into exuding milk from its skin. This milk is just as nourishing as normal cow milk, maybe even more, but it is completely homogenous, has a smooth practically nonexistent texture, and the most averagely milky taste imaginable.

This is oddly wholesome and utterly gross at the same time. Well played.

Breathless (Ex): A spherical cow does not need to breath.

Breathe.

It is immune to all inhaled effects.

How do you inhale an effect? (I understand what this does perfectly, but do consider some rephrasing.)

[Tzardok]

Make no mistake: I LOVE this, but I kind of feel like it's crazy broken enough without each attack being treated as a single attack by a singular natural weapon and getting the 1,5×STR.

Yeah, that's kinda a mistake from the point of time when this ability only worked with Full Attacks. Changed.

Deliberate astrophysics pun, or just your accent showing?

Sometimes you luck into good things, like when you forget what the proper term for Solitary is.

I thought you said you think INT 2 still means inherently animal-level intelligence even if the type would regularly allow higher values. That aside, I'm not sure making this playable is a good idea. It is hideously unbalanced in marvelous ways, but it's pretty much locked into the "murderize melee mobs on a no gravity plane" role.

LA got cut.

Breathe.

How do you inhale an effect? (I understand what this does perfectly, but do consider some rephrasing.)

Formulation from the air genasi is now used.

[Beni-Kujaku]

Spherical cows reproduce asexually; roughly once every two years a cow will bud a calf, unless starved. Spherical calves grow up in seven months and start budding three years after that. A spherical cow roughly lives fourteen years.

I've been told spherical cows do not grow up, the calves remain at an average size and weigh of a regular calf until reaching adult age, at which point it rapidly inflates and reaches its final size in a matter of minutes.

Abstracted Bodyshape (Ex): A spherical cow's body is absolutely spherical, unless it is not. When the creature needs to have body parts, it has them, when it doesn't need them, it doesn't. For this reason, a spherical cow can make as a Standard Action a gore attack against every creature within reach. It is simply assumed that the horns (that it doesn't have when it doesn't need them) are in the correct direction for any given creature.
For the same reason the cow can't be flanked and enjoys a 50% fortification against critical hits, sneak attacks, etc. No side of the cow actually differs from any other side, and the shifting of vital organs in location and out of existence makes them difficult to hit.

But what happens when you start counting their limbs? Do they immediately manifest exactly 4 legs per cow, or do the number of limbs in a herd is always in average 4 so that if you count them you always get 4 per cow?