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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Devil

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    Default Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Last edited by Laughing Dog; 2023-01-01 at 12:24 PM.
    A fundamental truth about existence: All is to be laughed at.

    Lawful Evil with Chaotic Good tendencies. Have fun figuring that out.

    How to deal with Slowbro in Gen 1:
    1. Mewtwo
    2. there is no #2.

    Quote Originally Posted by Man_Over_Game View Post
    Well, that makes you Dr. Robotnik. So...yeah?

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    Rater202's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    I can't use a skeletal enemy that isn't either a generic mook skeleton or a lich.
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
    Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
    Spoiler: Ode To Meteors, By zimmerwald
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    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
    Are.

  3. - Top - End - #3
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
    I can't use a skeletal enemy that isn't either a generic mook skeleton or a lich.
    Heh. I suspect when I next run a action horror game I'm going to get mauled by players for not running with classic tropes, particularly having zombies follow a more Frankenstein model. By which I mean the book 'new creature, blank slate' model, not the pop culture one.

    I mean, it would be fine if the PLAYERS got those boosts, but they're going to be hunters...
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

    Spoiler: playground quotes
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
    I can't use a skeletal enemy that isn't either a generic mook skeleton or a lich.
    That was literally a plot point in OotS.
    Cool elan Illithid Slayer by linkele.

    Editor/co-writer of Magicae Est Potestas, a crossover between Artemis Fowl and Undertale. Ao3 FanFiction.net DeviantArt
    We also have a TvTropes page!

    Currently playing: Red Hand of Doom(campaign journal) Campaign still going on, but journal discontinued until further notice.

    Quote Originally Posted by Squire Doodad View Post
    I could write a lengthy explanation, but honestly just what danielxcutter said.
    Extended sig here.

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    RogueGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    I am not allowed to try to power anything by tapping into stupidity.
    It would just be too OP.
    the first half of the meaning of life is that there isn't one.

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    * I may not use at will Speak With Dead on every skull in the ancient catacombs with the question "what is your life story at maximum volume?".

    ** Using "I'm covering for the dwarves' lack of stealth" is not an acceptable excuse.

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    KorvinStarmast's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    * Will not try to seduce the drow fortune teller with the old "guess you didn't see me coming" pick up line.
    Avatar by linklele. How Teleport Works
    a. Malifice (paraphrased):
    Rulings are not 'House Rules.' Rulings are a DM doing what DMs are supposed to do.
    b. greenstone (paraphrased):
    Agency means that they {players} control their character's actions; you control the world's reactions to the character's actions.
    Gosh, 2D8HP, you are so very correct!
    Second known member of the Greyview Appreciation Society

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by KorvinStarmast View Post
    * Will not try to seduce the drow fortune teller with the old "guess you didn't see me coming" pick up line.
    My wife had to ask me what I just burst out laughing about. Thanks for that.
    Something Borrowed - Submission Thread (5e subclass contest)

    TeamWork Makes the Dream Work 5e Base Class Submission Thread




  9. - Top - End - #9
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    *"nine lives" is a figure of speech. Cats do not regenerate like Doctor Who.
    Last edited by Bohandas; 2023-01-03 at 02:56 PM.
    "If you want to understand biology don't think about vibrant throbbing gels and oozes, think about information technology" -Richard Dawkins

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    Colossus in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Powerful, old, and experienced Werewolves do not undergo a metamorphosis into far more powerful Therewolves.
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
    Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
    Spoiler: Ode To Meteors, By zimmerwald
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
    Are.

  11. - Top - End - #11
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    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
    Powerful, old, and experienced Werewolves do not undergo a metamorphosis into far more powerful Therewolves.
    That's only because none have reached Primal Urge 11.

    * I may not attempt to embrace a space marine.
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

    Spoiler: playground quotes
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  12. - Top - End - #12
    Titan in the Playground
     
    danielxcutter's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
    Powerful, old, and experienced Werewolves do not undergo a metamorphosis into far more powerful Therewolves.
    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    That's only because none have reached Primal Urge 11.
    Oh my god. Can I share this on the official CofD Discord?
    Cool elan Illithid Slayer by linkele.

    Editor/co-writer of Magicae Est Potestas, a crossover between Artemis Fowl and Undertale. Ao3 FanFiction.net DeviantArt
    We also have a TvTropes page!

    Currently playing: Red Hand of Doom(campaign journal) Campaign still going on, but journal discontinued until further notice.

    Quote Originally Posted by Squire Doodad View Post
    I could write a lengthy explanation, but honestly just what danielxcutter said.
    Extended sig here.

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by danielxcutter View Post
    Oh my god. Can I share this on the official CofD Discord?
    You've got my ok at least.
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

    Spoiler: playground quotes
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Does anyone else remember the episode of Adventure Time with the "Whywolves"
    "If you want to understand biology don't think about vibrant throbbing gels and oozes, think about information technology" -Richard Dawkins

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    Lord Raziere's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    * May not create Whenwolves from outside time that appear whenever someone asks the question "When?"
    ** Or Whowolves, wolves that disguise themselves as humans they steal faces from to trick them
    *** Howwolves are not werewolves that can change how they are werewolves to confuse people as to what werewolf rules they are running on.
    Last edited by Lord Raziere; 2023-01-15 at 10:33 AM.
    I'm also on discord as "raziere".


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    KorvinStarmast's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    * May not create Whenwolves from outside time that appear whenever someone asks the question "When?"
    ** Or Whowolves, wolves that disguise themselves as humans they steal faces from to trick them
    *** Howwolves are not werewolves that can how they are werewolves to confuse people as to what werewolf rules they are running on.
    * Must discern whether or not they are Whatwolves or Wutwolves before not making them.
    Last edited by KorvinStarmast; 2023-01-03 at 10:33 PM.
    Avatar by linklele. How Teleport Works
    a. Malifice (paraphrased):
    Rulings are not 'House Rules.' Rulings are a DM doing what DMs are supposed to do.
    b. greenstone (paraphrased):
    Agency means that they {players} control their character's actions; you control the world's reactions to the character's actions.
    Gosh, 2D8HP, you are so very correct!
    Second known member of the Greyview Appreciation Society

  17. - Top - End - #17
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    danielxcutter's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Well, there are Werewires and Werewerewires in Deltarune.
    Cool elan Illithid Slayer by linkele.

    Editor/co-writer of Magicae Est Potestas, a crossover between Artemis Fowl and Undertale. Ao3 FanFiction.net DeviantArt
    We also have a TvTropes page!

    Currently playing: Red Hand of Doom(campaign journal) Campaign still going on, but journal discontinued until further notice.

    Quote Originally Posted by Squire Doodad View Post
    I could write a lengthy explanation, but honestly just what danielxcutter said.
    Extended sig here.

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Lord Torath's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    * May not create wolfwhens, wolfwhys, or wolfhows.
    ** Jackalwhens, jackalwhys, and jackalhows are Right OutTM!
    Warhammer 40,000 Campaign Skirmish Game: Warpstrike
    My Spelljammer stuff (including an orbit tracker), 2E AD&D spreadsheet, and Vault of the Drow maps are available in my Dropbox. Feel free to use or not use it as you see fit!
    Thri-Kreen Ranger/Psionicist by me, based off of Rich's A Monster for Every Season

  19. - Top - End - #19
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    *The killer from the Saw movies was not Jim Henson
    "If you want to understand biology don't think about vibrant throbbing gels and oozes, think about information technology" -Richard Dawkins

    Omegaupdate Forum

    WoTC Forums Archive + Indexing Projext

    PostImage, a free and sensible alternative to Photobucket

    Temple+ Modding Project for Atari's Temple of Elemental Evil

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  20. - Top - End - #20
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    OldWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    * Having the party seek knowledge about the nature of the multiverse from The Wizard Who Did ItTM is a reasonable premise for a high level adventure.
    ** Giving The Wizard Who Did ItTMs Tower a 42-dimensional topology is funny, but pushing it.
    *** Asking the groups only liberal arts major to keep track of the map is just mean.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    *May not make an "Ever-Replenishing Deck of Many Things" that never runs out of cards
    ** May not make it a cursed item that binds itself to you when you pick it up
    *** May not make it so that you can only get rid of it by deceiving others into buying it from you in a dishonest trade.
    **** May not make it try to compel you to draw a card from it with a will save once every day.

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    KorvinStarmast's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by animorte View Post
    My wife had to ask me what I just burst out laughing about. Thanks for that.
    A pleasure to serve.
    Quote Originally Posted by DCraw View Post
    ** Giving The Wizard Who Did ItTMs Tower a 42-dimensional topology is funny, but pushing it.
    I have a former DM who could probably enjoy that. Math major, and math teacher; go figure!
    Quote Originally Posted by DCraw View Post
    *** Asking the groups only liberal arts major to keep track of the map is just mean.
    It's awesome.

    * When the party's bard (12th level) asks the sage (who had given them the info needed to understand the quest, and who had asked them to please rescue his fellow researcher)
    "Why don't you come with us?"
    I am not allowed to (as the sage) answer
    "because I have 4 hit points"
    in a resigned tone of voice.
    Spoiler: Why I did it ....
    Show
    {That got a laugh from 5 out of 6 of the players, though, which was part of why I provided that answer.}
    Last edited by KorvinStarmast; 2023-01-06 at 09:55 AM.
    Avatar by linklele. How Teleport Works
    a. Malifice (paraphrased):
    Rulings are not 'House Rules.' Rulings are a DM doing what DMs are supposed to do.
    b. greenstone (paraphrased):
    Agency means that they {players} control their character's actions; you control the world's reactions to the character's actions.
    Gosh, 2D8HP, you are so very correct!
    Second known member of the Greyview Appreciation Society

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    danielxcutter's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    What about the last guy?
    Cool elan Illithid Slayer by linkele.

    Editor/co-writer of Magicae Est Potestas, a crossover between Artemis Fowl and Undertale. Ao3 FanFiction.net DeviantArt
    We also have a TvTropes page!

    Currently playing: Red Hand of Doom(campaign journal) Campaign still going on, but journal discontinued until further notice.

    Quote Originally Posted by Squire Doodad View Post
    I could write a lengthy explanation, but honestly just what danielxcutter said.
    Extended sig here.

  23. - Top - End - #23
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    OldWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by KorvinStarmast View Post
    * Will not try to seduce the drow fortune teller with the old "guess you didn't see me coming" pick up line.
    "No, in fact, I do not."
    "Gosh 2D8HP, you are so very correct (and also good looking)"

  24. - Top - End - #24
    Titan in the Playground
     
    KorvinStarmast's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by danielxcutter View Post
    What about the last guy?
    He was AFK getting a beer, so he missed the joke. (Game on R20).
    Quote Originally Posted by kyoryu View Post
    "No, in fact, I do not."
    *snicker*
    Avatar by linklele. How Teleport Works
    a. Malifice (paraphrased):
    Rulings are not 'House Rules.' Rulings are a DM doing what DMs are supposed to do.
    b. greenstone (paraphrased):
    Agency means that they {players} control their character's actions; you control the world's reactions to the character's actions.
    Gosh, 2D8HP, you are so very correct!
    Second known member of the Greyview Appreciation Society

  25. - Top - End - #25
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    I'm not allowed to answer "Why did you counterspell my healing word, DM?" with: "Because it's what my NPC would do..."

  26. - Top - End - #26
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    OldWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    * May not create Whenwolves from outside time that appear whenever someone asks the question "When?"
    ** Or Whowolves, wolves that disguise themselves as humans they steal faces from to trick them
    *** Howwolves are not werewolves that can how they are werewolves to confuse people as to what werewolf rules they are running on.
    **a There is not a bitter century long feud between the Whowolves and the Whomwolves.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    *May not make an "Ever-Replenishing Deck of Many Things" that never runs out of cards
    ** May not make it a cursed item that binds itself to you when you pick it up
    *** May not make it so that you can only get rid of it by deceiving others into buying it from you in a dishonest trade.
    **** May not make it try to compel you to draw a card from it with a will save once every day.

  27. - Top - End - #27
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    Rater202's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    *I can't 'accidentally' make myself into an eldritch abomination by stacking a bunch of powers ontop of each other, each with small alterations to my physiology until I can no longer reasonably be considered human.
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
    Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
    Spoiler: Ode To Meteors, By zimmerwald
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
    Are.

  28. - Top - End - #28
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
    *I can't 'accidentally' make myself into an eldritch abomination by stacking a bunch of powers ontop of each other, each with small alterations to my physiology until I can no longer reasonably be considered human.
    Isn't that just Aberrant?
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

    Spoiler: playground quotes
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  29. - Top - End - #29
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    Isn't that just Aberrant?
    I believe they prefer "differently constructed beings from outside known reality."

  30. - Top - End - #30
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    Lord Raziere's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    * May not trap a bunch of demons into by being my servants by flipping a coin, telling them that if they don't call it directly they agree to serve me, and having it land on the edge.
    ** When they're done doing what I ask of them, may not then order them to not move and start killing them as punching bags for my gun martial art

    * May not somehow gain Dr. Strange's magic, Scarlet Witch's magic and the Infinity Gauntlet in one jump
    ** May not argue that the redundancy of doing so is a feature not a bug.

    * May not even take a jump called "generic overpowered jump" ever.
    ** Mostly because taking perks to gain omniverse or outerverse level power just like that seems a little late game even for me.

    * may not take a jumpchain perk to get a Palace in a Persona jump

    * Make not use Hemalurgy to steal powers from universes outside the Cosmere and add them to myself
    ** The fact that I won't die from stabbing myself with the spikes is no excuse to do it casually in front of people
    *** May not neglect to let people know about my body no longer being made of flesh

    * May not try to figure out what happens when I combine FMA Alchemy, Feruchemy and Allomancy

    * Throwing all my foes into a Door To Nothingness is not a solution to all my problems

    * May not summon clones of my enemies to fight each other
    ** May not mock them about perfectly symmetrical violence never solving anything.
    I'm also on discord as "raziere".


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