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  1. - Top - End - #61
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Rockphed's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bohandas View Post
    *The exisfemce of psi9nic fattoos is not proof fhat all psionicists are hipsters
    **Nor does it indicate that psionics is a skill that you learn in jail
    ***Hipster prison is not a secret Psion if training facility.
    Quote Originally Posted by Wardog View Post
    Rockphed said it well.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sam Starfall
    When your pants are full of crickets, you don't need mnemonics.
    Dragontar by Serpentine.

    Now offering unsolicited advice.

  2. - Top - End - #62
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    * Just because a dead body is technically an Object and can therefore be considered an "Item", it does not mean you can make a Medium sized Body and 4 Small bodies via Performance of Creation and Creative Crescendo

    ** I am not allowed to cast Animate Objects on any bodies created in that way as pseudo-Undead

    *** I am not allowed to use Animating Performance on one of the bodies after Animate Object ends

    **** I am no longer allowed to play high level Creation Bards
    Never let the fluff of a class define the personality of a character. Let Clerics be Atheist, let Barbarians be cowardly or calm, let Druids hate nature, and let Wizards know nothing about the arcane

    Fun Fact: A monk in armor loses Martial Arts, Unarmored Defense, and Unarmored Movement, but keep all of their other abilities, including subclass features, and Stunning Strike works with melee weapon attacks. Make a Monk in Fullplate with a Greatsword >=D


  3. - Top - End - #63
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by sithlordnergal View Post
    * Just because a dead body is technically an Object and can therefore be considered an "Item", it does not mean you can make a Medium sized Body and 4 Small bodies via Performance of Creation and Creative Crescendo

    ** I am not allowed to cast Animate Objects on any bodies created in that way as pseudo-Undead

    *** I am not allowed to use Animating Performance on one of the bodies after Animate Object ends

    **** I am no longer allowed to play high level Creation Bards
    *****I may not play "Thriller" while doing any of the above.
    Last edited by Tohron; 2023-01-25 at 07:23 PM.

  4. - Top - End - #64
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    TeChameleon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    * When introducing my new Player Character to the group, having a bitter feud with the local leader/quest giver because "The old fool refuses to recognize my genius!" is not a way to reassure them of my character's competence. Or sanity.

    ** The fact that the sanity, at least by human standards, is very definitely questionable, does not help (gnomes, wheee!)

    *** When it comes out that the reason that my character joined the group without a backwards glance to his thriving business is "What about this (gnomish) country makes you think my people have anything even vaguely resembling good impulse control?", it probably won't help.
    Times being what they are, the stars aligning and the End of All Things barely registered as background noise.

    At a bit of a loss as to what to do next, and with bills to pay, a certain Elder Thing has taken up bartending.

    This is...

    The Last Call of Cthulhu

  5. - Top - End - #65
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    Rater202's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    I can't have a plan to vivisect everyone I meet.

    The tournament where people send their children to show off and attract attention as a substitute for war is not a "genetic shopping trip."

    *I can't make plans to hunt down and devour the corpse of a god in order t become a deity myself.
    **Even if the alternative is killing a planet.
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
    Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
    Spoiler: Ode To Meteors, By zimmerwald
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    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
    Are.

  6. - Top - End - #66
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Okay, that last one? I can honestly think of worse when the alternative is an entire world dying.
    Cool elan Illithid Slayer by linkele.

    Editor/co-writer of Magicae Est Potestas, a crossover between Artemis Fowl and Undertale. Ao3 FanFiction.net DeviantArt
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    Currently playing: Red Hand of Doom(campaign journal) Campaign still going on, but journal discontinued until further notice.

    Quote Originally Posted by Squire Doodad View Post
    I could write a lengthy explanation, but honestly just what danielxcutter said.
    Extended sig here.

  7. - Top - End - #67
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    Rater202's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by danielxcutter View Post
    Okay, that last one? I can honestly think of worse when the alternative is an entire world dying.
    The options are "I eat the dead god" or "I eat the planet," not "the planet will die if I don't eat the dead god."
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
    Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
    Spoiler: Ode To Meteors, By zimmerwald
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
    Are.

  8. - Top - End - #68
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    danielxcutter's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    That does not actually contradict my statement.
    Cool elan Illithid Slayer by linkele.

    Editor/co-writer of Magicae Est Potestas, a crossover between Artemis Fowl and Undertale. Ao3 FanFiction.net DeviantArt
    We also have a TvTropes page!

    Currently playing: Red Hand of Doom(campaign journal) Campaign still going on, but journal discontinued until further notice.

    Quote Originally Posted by Squire Doodad View Post
    I could write a lengthy explanation, but honestly just what danielxcutter said.
    Extended sig here.

  9. - Top - End - #69
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    Rater202's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by danielxcutter View Post
    That does not actually contradict my statement.
    There is no external threat justifying the descision.
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
    Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
    Spoiler: Ode To Meteors, By zimmerwald
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
    Are.

  10. - Top - End - #70
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Bohandas's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Oh I think they may mean "the alternative way to become a deity..."
    "If you want to understand biology don't think about vibrant throbbing gels and oozes, think about information technology" -Richard Dawkins

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  11. - Top - End - #71
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    EvilClericGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by KorvinStarmast View Post
    The name of my next band.
    Pronunciation: psi-NINE-nic FA-two

    "One night only: psi9nic fattoo!"

    You're right.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bohandas View Post
    Yeah, it was like 3:00 in the morning when I tried to type that last post
    No, no, your "typo" was obviously Destiny.
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  12. - Top - End - #72
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    MonkGirl

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    That vivisection rule would really crimp some character ideas I've had.
    Minister of sarcasm and pragmatism of the Grayview fanclub.

    No, none of us were altering the unimutable laws of physics. That would be wrong.

  13. - Top - End - #73
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Melayl's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tohron View Post
    *****I may not play "Thriller" while doing any of the above.
    No no no. You *MUST* play Thriller while doing so!
    Custom Melayl avatar by my cousin, ~thejason10, used with his permission. See his work at his Deviant Art page.
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  14. - Top - End - #74
    Titan in the Playground
     
    KorvinStarmast's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    * May no longer forget to cast Death Ward on me and my flying mount.
    ** May no longer deliberately breed with a Drow noblewoman of exotic tastes with the excuse that 'they need fresh blood in their heritage' - no matter how many alternate timelines I have seen.
    *** May no longer get a Drow oracle drunk on moonshine.
    **** May no longer charge into the Slime king's body guards, leaving my party without my saving throw bonus. (Paladin)
    Last edited by KorvinStarmast; 2023-01-30 at 09:22 AM.
    Avatar by linklele. How Teleport Works
    a. Malifice (paraphrased):
    Rulings are not 'House Rules.' Rulings are a DM doing what DMs are supposed to do.
    b. greenstone (paraphrased):
    Agency means that they {players} control their character's actions; you control the world's reactions to the character's actions.
    Gosh, 2D8HP, you are so very correct!
    Second known member of the Greyview Appreciation Society

  15. - Top - End - #75
    Orc in the Playground
     
    D&D_Fan's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    * Top-Secret shadow organizations can absolutely get away with violating the Geneva conventions.
    ** Yeah they're evil, but nobody can stop them if nobody knows who they are.
    *** That's kind of the reason why they are the bad guys.
    **** When was the last time you saw the good guys use chemical weapons and commit arson, anyway?
    ***** This shouldn't be a hard question.

  16. - Top - End - #76
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Daemon

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by KorvinStarmast View Post
    * May no longer forget to cast Death Ward on me and my flying mount.
    ** May no longer deliberately breed with a Drow noblewoman of exotic tastes with the excuse that 'they need fresh blood in their heritage' - no matter how many alternate timelines I have seen.
    *** May no longer get a Drow oracle drunk on moonshine.
    **** May no longer charge into the Slime king's body guards, leaving my party without my saving throw bonus. (Paladin)
    *****May no longer chant "boing boing boing" at subliminal volumes to cause psychic distress among my players.
    Dawn of Hope: a 5e setting. http://wiki.admiralbenbo.org
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  17. - Top - End - #77
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Telok's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by D&D_Fan View Post
    **** When was the last time you saw the good guys use chemical weapons and commit arson, anyway?
    ***** This shouldn't be a hard question.
    Is it bad that I started counting on reading this and immedately trying to figure out a rate per campaign?

    * Pseudo-exponentially spawning undead are not "good guy" type solutions.
    ** I should not have to remind the players of this every six months.

  18. - Top - End - #78
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    Rater202's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    I am not allowed to perform grotesque medical experiments on myself using the pilfered tissues of a variety of different people in order to bootstrap myself to some kind of Frankenstein godhood.
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
    Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
    Spoiler: Ode To Meteors, By zimmerwald
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
    Are.

  19. - Top - End - #79
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Lord Raziere's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    * If I want people to believe I'm a hero I should probably stop taking powers like "infect people with my cells to mind control them"
    ** or "the persona that does the utopia brainwashing"
    *** or "become a lord of chaos with a queen of monsters as my companion"
    **** or "the godbound words of theft, deception and murder"
    ***** or "become daedric prince of knowledge"
    I'm also on discord as "raziere".


  20. - Top - End - #80
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    DwarfBarbarianGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    I cannot make a customer lineage dragonborn who breathes slashing. Which means I can't get resistance to slashing damage that way.

  21. - Top - End - #81
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by Samayu View Post
    I cannot make a customer lineage dragonborn who breathes slashing. Which means I can't get resistance to slashing damage that way.
    ** I am not allowed to make a "Karen" dragonborn, that has to be an act, not an ancestry.
    *** I certainly don't get to do bonus damage to minions that's minimized if there's a boss monster present.
    *** Mostly because my GM doesn't want to always have boss monsters.
    **** And I am not allowed to riff off of a clear mobile autocorrect entry. Or am I?
    Last edited by Telwar; 2023-01-31 at 04:45 PM.

  22. - Top - End - #82
    Titan in the Playground
     
    KorvinStarmast's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by Telwar View Post
    ** I am not allowed to make a "Karen" dragonborn, that has to be an act, not an ancestry.
    *** I certainly don't get to do bonus damage to minions that's minimized if there's a boss monster present.
    *** Mostly because my GM doesn't want to always have boss monsters.
    You naughty person, I nearly spilled my drink! Well done.
    Avatar by linklele. How Teleport Works
    a. Malifice (paraphrased):
    Rulings are not 'House Rules.' Rulings are a DM doing what DMs are supposed to do.
    b. greenstone (paraphrased):
    Agency means that they {players} control their character's actions; you control the world's reactions to the character's actions.
    Gosh, 2D8HP, you are so very correct!
    Second known member of the Greyview Appreciation Society

  23. - Top - End - #83
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    * My magick cannot literally be fueled by pointless arguments on the internet.
    ** Even if the rule system and setting metaphysics support it.
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  24. - Top - End - #84
    Titan in the Playground
     
    danielxcutter's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Which one is that? Mage the Ascension?
    Cool elan Illithid Slayer by linkele.

    Editor/co-writer of Magicae Est Potestas, a crossover between Artemis Fowl and Undertale. Ao3 FanFiction.net DeviantArt
    We also have a TvTropes page!

    Currently playing: Red Hand of Doom(campaign journal) Campaign still going on, but journal discontinued until further notice.

    Quote Originally Posted by Squire Doodad View Post
    I could write a lengthy explanation, but honestly just what danielxcutter said.
    Extended sig here.

  25. - Top - End - #85
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by danielxcutter View Post
    Which one is that? Mage the Ascension?
    Nah, Unknown Armies. Haven't completed drafting out the school, but it's paradox is along the lines of 'a means of communication which fosters conflict'.
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  26. - Top - End - #86
    Titan in the Playground
     
    danielxcutter's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    Nah, Unknown Armies. Haven't completed drafting out the school, but it's paradox is along the lines of 'a means of communication which fosters conflict'.
    Ah, the "you did it" game.
    Cool elan Illithid Slayer by linkele.

    Editor/co-writer of Magicae Est Potestas, a crossover between Artemis Fowl and Undertale. Ao3 FanFiction.net DeviantArt
    We also have a TvTropes page!

    Currently playing: Red Hand of Doom(campaign journal) Campaign still going on, but journal discontinued until further notice.

    Quote Originally Posted by Squire Doodad View Post
    I could write a lengthy explanation, but honestly just what danielxcutter said.
    Extended sig here.

  27. - Top - End - #87
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Lord Raziere's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    * May not postulate that Goku, Saitama and so on think of the joy of battle too narrowly
    ** May not further explain that there are actually at least Three Joys of Battle:
    *** The First Joy of Battle is not defeating a weaker foe stylishly in an impractical manner to show off
    **** The Second Joy Battle is not defeating an equal foe with pure force with adrenaline rushing through one's veins, the joy everyone focuses on
    ***** The Third Joy of Battle is not defeating a greater foe through cleverness and skill to counter their greater power.
    I'm also on discord as "raziere".


  28. - Top - End - #88
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    danielxcutter's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    I mean, Saitama specifically wants the second one, and the third and possibly second one physically can't be a thing for him either.
    Cool elan Illithid Slayer by linkele.

    Editor/co-writer of Magicae Est Potestas, a crossover between Artemis Fowl and Undertale. Ao3 FanFiction.net DeviantArt
    We also have a TvTropes page!

    Currently playing: Red Hand of Doom(campaign journal) Campaign still going on, but journal discontinued until further notice.

    Quote Originally Posted by Squire Doodad View Post
    I could write a lengthy explanation, but honestly just what danielxcutter said.
    Extended sig here.

  29. - Top - End - #89
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    ReaderAt2046's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    * Setting the building on fire is not the solution to every problem. Especially if I'm playing the paladin.
    * If my paladin is the most ruthless character in the party, something has gone wrong somewhere.
    * Before playing a werewolf, I will make sure that none of the existing PCs have "Hates Werewolves" as an Aspect.
    * Destroying the moon was the correct course of action this time. It never will be again.
    Prince Fraternal of Pudding, Snuzzlepal, Feezy Squeez Lover, MP, Member of The Most Noble And Ancient Order Of St. George, King of Gae Parabolae.

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    "Everyone's cute if you just look at them the right way"~Rebekah Patton Durham, Princess of Pudding.

    "If they have stats, we can kill them... I'd like to point out that we also have stats..." ~ PhoenixGuard09.

    Warhammer 40K: Where the faction that is a cross between the Inquisition and Space Nazis are the good guys.

  30. - Top - End - #90
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Rockphed's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 14: The DM is not my therapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by ReaderAt2046 View Post
    * If my paladin is the most ruthless character in the party, something has gone wrong somewhere.
    At some point Terry Pratchett essentially said that if someone is trying to kill you, pray they are evil. Good people who decide you have to die will just kill you and get it over with where evil people will drag it out with torture and monologueing.

    * No matter how evil they are, having the BBEG kill the players with their monologue is not fun.
    Quote Originally Posted by Wardog View Post
    Rockphed said it well.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sam Starfall
    When your pants are full of crickets, you don't need mnemonics.
    Dragontar by Serpentine.

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