Screwball Mage (5e class)

[Bhu]

These are intended to be the mad scientists of the Wizarding world. I await feedback on the base class, and if o one has any isseus I'll do up the spells/mutations this weekend, and then move on to the subclasses

SCREWBALL MAGE
You were popular in Wizard school. Popular, not good. You shenaniganed so hard you broke the space/time continuum, and as a result turned your friends into a lot of enemies who would plague you in the future. You've been collecting enemies ever since. You've even literally made a few of them. Because while you weren't great at learning spells, you were supremely talented at pursuing avenues of arcane research anyone else would have the common sense to leave alone. Things like what makes a living being actually living? How does one define a soul? How many mind altering substances can I mix trying to chase epiphany before I wake up in an Outer Plane staring at some gibbering horror? Your habits have offended Gawds and society alike. You have tried resurrecting the dead without divine power, tried to create life itself without divine power, etc. This makes the Gawds certain you intend to usurp their position in the scheme of things, and makes everyone else nervous as no one knows when your Smiting is finally on it's way.

So lets be honest: you aren't a hero. You aren't even a murderhobo, other than by chance or madness induced stupor. You are an affront to Gawds, human(oid)kind, and even Hell itself. You are an epic level fool whose delusions of grandeur threaten existence. You know how to party in other words. And you party a lot. You have boogied with the Titans. You'd stop, but lets be honest, you've gotten used to the chaos and blind panics. Life is too dull without them.

CREATING SCREWBALL MAGES
As you create your Screwball Mage, think about how you will survive the shenanigans you intend to pull. What is your delusion of choice, and why? How have you lived this long? Were you accepted, or cast out by your Wizarding school for crimes against the universe? How many entities have a lien on your soul? Did you remember to pay the minions, and turn on the alarms on the Land Squid Vats? What are you on the run from, and how did you meet up with a band of Adventurers, let alone convince them not to murder you in your sleep?

Quick Build
You can make a Screwball Mage quickly by following these suggestions. First, make Intelligence your highest ability score, followed by Dexterity. Second, choose the Delusional Madman background. Third, bribe your DM in advance for all the egregious crap you're about to do.

   Proficiency Bonus  Features
1. +2   Field of Study, Spellcasting
2. +2   Mutations
3. +2   Making Friends
4. +2   Ability Score Improvement
5. +3       
6. +3   Field of Study
7. +3    
8. +3   Ability Score Improvement
9. +4        
10.+4   Field of Study
11.+4   Emergency Spells (6th)
12.+4   Ability Score Improvement
13.+5   Emergency Spells (7th)
14.+5   Field of Study
15.+5   Emergency Spells (8th)
16.+5   Ability Score Improvement
17.+6   Emergency Spells (9th)
18.+6        
19.+6  Ability Score Improvement
20.+6  Field of Study

   Cantrips Known  Spells Known  Spell Slots  Spell Level  Mutations Known/Usable
1.      2               2           1              1st     -
2.      2               3           2              1st     2/1
3.      2               4           2              2nd     2/1     
4.      3               5           2              2nd     2/2     
5.      3               6           2              3rd     3/2     
6.      3               7           2              3rd     3/3     
7.      3               8           2              4th     4/3    
8.      3               9           2              4th     4/4    
9.      3               10          2              5th     5/4     
10.     4               10          3              5th     5/4     
11.     4               11          3              5th     5/5     
12.     4               11          3              5th     6/5     
13.     4               12          3              5th     6/5     
14.     4               12          3              5th     6/6     
15.     4               13          3              5th     7/6     
16.     4               13          3              5th     7/6     
17.     4               14          4              5th     7/7     
18.     4               14          4              5th     8/7     
19.     4               15          4              5th     8/7     
20.     4               15          4              5th     8/8

CLASS FEATURES
As a Screwball Mage you gain the following features:

HIT POINTS
Hit Dice: 1d8 per (Screwball Mage) Level
Hit Points at 1st Level: x 8 your Constitution Modifier
Hit Points at Higher Levels: 1d8 (or 5) + your Constitution Modifier per Screwball Mage Level after 1st

PROFICIENCIES
Armor: None
Weapons: Simple Weapons, Martial Ranged Weapons (including firearms)
Tools: Alchemists Tools
Saving Throws: Dexterity, Intelligence
Skills: Choose 2 from Arcana, Deception, History, Investigation, Medicine, Nature, Persuasion, Stealth,

EQUIPMENT
You start with the following equipment, in addition to the equipment granted by your background:

• [li](a) a light crossbow and 20 bolts or (b) any simple weapon[/li]
  [li](a) a component pouch or (b) an arcane focus[/li]
  [li](a) a scholar's pack or (b) a dungeoneer's pack[/li]
  [li]10 GP, any simple weapon, and two daggers[/li]

FIELD OF STUDY
At 1st level, you choose what Abominations you will be foisting upon the world. Your choice grants you features at 1st level and again at 6th, 10th, 14th and 20th level.

SPELLCASTING
You may cast spells beginning at 1st Level (see Chapter 10 of Player's Handbook for rules on spellcasting, and see below for the Screwball Mage spell list).
Cantrips. You learn two Screwball Mage Cantrips of your choice.
Spell Slots. The Screwball Mage table shows how many spell slots you have to cast your Screwball Mage spells of 1st through 5th level. The table also shows what the level of those slots is; all of your spell slots are the same level. To cast one of your Screwball Mage spells of 1st level or higher, you must expend a spell slot. You regain all expended spell slots when you finish a short or long rest. For example, when you are 5th level, you have two 3rd-level spell slots. To cast the 1st-level spell witch bolt, you must spend one of those slots, and you cast it as a 3rd-level spell.
Spells Known of 1st-Level and Higher. At 1st level, you know two 1st-level spells of your choice from the warlock spell list.

The Spells Known column of the Screwball Mage table shows when you learn more Screwball Mage spells of your choice of 1st level or higher. A spell you choose must be of a level no higher than what's shown in the table's Slot Level column for your level. When you reach 6th level, for example, you learn a new Screwball Mage spell, which can be 1st, 2nd, or 3rd level.

Additionally, when you gain a level in this class, you can choose one of the Screwball Mage spells you know and replace it with another spell from the Screwball Mage spell list, which also must be of a level for which you have spell slots.
Spellcasting Ability. Intelligence is your spellcasting ability for your Screwball Mage spells, since your spells rely upon study. You use your Intelligence whenever a spell refers to your spellcasting ability. In addition, you use your Intelligence modifier when setting the saving throw DC for a Screwball Mage spell you cast and when making an attack roll with one.

Spell save DC = 8 + your proficiency bonus +
your Intelligence modifier

Spell attack modifier = your proficiency bonus +
your Intelligence modifier

Ritual Casting. You can cast a Screwball Mage spell as a ritual if that spell has the ritual tag. Several of the Screwball Mage spells say 'Ritual Only'. These spells can only be cast as Rituals, and thus their casting time is that listed in the spells description.

Spellcasting Focus. You can use an arcane focus as a spellcasting focus for your Screwball Mage spells.

MUTATIONS
At 2nd level, you've gained the ability to imbue living beings with certain magical mutations, giving them new abilities.

Mutations Known
When you gain this feature, pick two Screwball Mage Mutations to learn. You learn additional Mutations of your choice when you reach certain levels in this class, as shown in the Mutations Known column of the Screwball Mage table. Whenever you gain a level in this class, you can replace one of the Screwball Mage Mutations you learned with a new one.

Mutating Your Friends
Whenever you finish a long rest, you can touch a creature and infect it with one of your Screwball Mage Mutations. A Mutation may work on only certain kinds of creatures, as specified in the Mutation's description. Your Mutation remains in a creature indefinitely, unless it is removed by a spell, or the creature dies. You can Mutate more than one creature at the end of a long rest; the maximum number of creatures appears in the Mutations Usable column of the Screwball Mage table. You must touch each of the creatures, and each of your Mutations can be in only one creature at a time. Moreover, no creature can bear more than one of your Mutations at a time. If you try to exceed your maximum number of Mutations, nothing happens. The exception is yourself, you may use all your usable Mutations on yourself. For example at Level 5, you know three mutations, but can only imbue yourself or a creature with one of them. At Level 9, you know 5 mutations, and can imbue yourself and another creature with one of them, or give both of them to yourself.

MAKING FRIENDS
AT third Level you gain the ability to permanently modify or create lifeforms via alchemical and magical processes. This new or altered life form requires some serious expense. Firstly, the Mage must construct a magical stone sarcophagus to place the body In that it wants to transform, or the life it wishes to create. A Tiny sarcophagus requires 50 GP, and that costs double for every Size Category higher (i.e. 100 GP for small, 200 GP for Medium, 400 GP for Large, etc. The process also requires (500 x Challenge Rating) Gold Pieces in alchemical compounds, or a half ounce of protolife per 1000 GP instead. If you are creating a creature instead of modifying one, you also need enough flesh and bone matter to make a creature of the size you want. You can create life based on your Class Level and sublcass. Maximum CR of the creature you intend to create/modify cannot be higher than your Class Level. You can create any Aberration, Beast, Dragon, Giant, Humanoid, Monstrosity, Ooze or Plant of the appropriate CR. With the exception of a few things listed below that all Screwball Mages can do, the type of life you can create that is unique to you will largely depend on your subclass. The Ritual itself takes 10 Minutes, and the creature takes a number of hours equal to half it's CR to 'cure', before it awakens confused and in pain. Your new creation is Charmed by you for 24 hours, unless you or your companions harm or mistreat it. When the Charmed condition ends, the awakened creature chooses whether to remain friendly to you, based on how you treated it while it was Charmed.


At 5th Level the Warlock can use Minor Teratism. You make permanent changes to any one creature with an Intelligence score of 7 or less, and if you make two of them they can breed true. If the target is a Beast, Humanoid or Giant it's Type changes to Monstrosity. You can make as many cosmetic changes as you wish. Glowing eyes, different body colors, patterns, coverings etc. You may also change the sounds it makes, and give it one minor ability from the following list:
Aggression: As a bonus action, the creature can move up to its speed toward a hostile creature that it can see.
Ambusher: The creature has advantage on attack rolls against any creature it has surprised.
Amorphous: The creature can move through a space as narrow as 1 inch wide without squeezing.
Amphibious: The creature can breathe air and water.
Armor: Increase Armor Class by +2.
Best or Burden: The creature is considered to be a creature one Size Category larger for the purpose of determining its carrying capacity.
Berserk: Whenever the creature starts its turn with x hit points or fewer, roll a d6. On a 6, the [MON] goes berserk. On each of its turns while berserk, the creature attacks the nearest creature it can see. If no creature is near enough to move to and attack, the creature attacks an object, with preference for an object smaller than itself. Once the creature goes berserk, it continues to do so until it is destroyed or regains all its hit points. x varies depending on Size, Tiny (5), Small (20), Medium (40), Large (60), Huge (80) or Gargantuan (100). This will vary depending on how much Hit Dice the creature has, and the hit point threshold should be roughly 50% of maximum.
Brave: The creature has advantage on saving throws against being frightened.
Camouflage: The creature has advantage on Dexterity (Stealth) checks made to hide in one specific terrain.
Darkvision: The creature gains Darkvision with a range of 60 feet.
Flyby: The creature doesn't provoke opportunity attacks when it flies out of an enemy's reach. The creature must have a Fly speed.
Hold Breath: The creature can hold its breath for 15 Minutes (1 Hour if Large or bigger).
Ice Walk: The creature can move across and climb icy surfaces without needing to make an ability check. Additionally, difficult terrain composed of ice or snow doesn't cost it extra movement.
Illumination: The creature sheds bright light in a x-foot radius and dim light in an additional x ft. x depends on size: Tiny (5 feet), Small or Medium (10 feet), Large (15 feet), Huge (20 feet), Gargantuan (30 feet).
Keen Sense: The creature has advantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks that rely on either hearing, sight or smell.
Immunity. The creatures gains immunity to one Condition or type of damage.
Limited Telepathy: The creature can magically communicate simple ideas, emotions, and images telepathically with any creature within 60 ft. of it.
Mimicry: The creature can mimic any sounds it has heard. A creature that hears the sounds can tell they are imitations with a successful (Save DC is 8 plus Proficiency Bonus plus Wisdom Modifier) Wisdom (Insight) check.
Nimble Escape: The creature can take the Disengage or Hide action as a bonus action on each of its turns.
Reckless: At the start of its turn, the creature can gain advantage on all melee weapon attack rolls it makes during that turn, but attack rolls against it have advantage until the start of its next turn.
Relentless (Recharges after a Short or Long Rest): If the creature takes x damage or less that would reduce it to 0 hit points, it is reduced to 1 hit point instead. x varies depending on size, Small (4), Medium (7), Large (10), Huge (14), or Gargantuan (17).
Resistance. The creature gains Resistance to any three types of damage.
Saving Throw Proficiency. The creature gains Proficiency with any one type of Saving Throw.
Sense Magic: The creature senses magic within 120 feet of it at will. This trait otherwise works like the detect magic spell but isn't itself magical.
Shadow Stealth: While in dim light or darkness, the creature can take the Hide action as a bonus action.
Skilled. The creature gains Proficiency with two skills.
Spider Climb: The creature can climb difficult surfaces, including upside down on ceilings, without needing to make an ability check.
Standing Leap: The creature's long jump is up to 25 ft. and its high jump is up to 15 ft., with or without a running start. Increase the range by 5 feet for every Size Category above Medium the creature is.
Steadfast: The creature can't be frightened while it can see an allied creature within 30 feet of it.
Sure-Footed: The creature has advantage on Strength and Dexterity saving throws made against effects that would knock it prone.


At 11th Level, this ability can be used to create 1d6 pounds of protolife, a strange biological mutagen composed of pulsing flesh and fluid. With this important step you can move up to creating your own, instead of having to buy or steal it from more advanced mages.


You can also use Moderate Teratism. You make permanent changes to any one creature with an Intelligence score of 7 or less, and if you make two of them they can breed true. You can make as many cosmetic changes as you wish, and can give the creature one of the abilities listed under Minor Teratism, and 1 from the list below:
Brute: A melee weapon deals one extra die of its damage when the creature hits with it.
Charge: If the creature moves at least 20 ft. straight toward a target and then hits it with a (choose any one) attack on the same turn, the target takes an extra x bledgeoning damage. If the target is a creature, it must succeed on a Strength (DC is 8 plus Proficiency Bonus plus Strength Modifier) saving throw or be knocked prone. x depends on Size: Medium or Smaller +1d6, Large or Huge +2d6, Gargantuan +3d6.
Damaging Body: A creature that touches the creature or hits it with a melee attack while within 5 feet of it takes (1d6) damage. of a type of your choice
Elemental Weapons: Any melee weapon the creature wields deals an extra (1d6) damage on a hit (choose the damage type).
Extra Hit Dice. The creature gains extra Hit Dice based on it's Size: Tiny or Small (+1), Medium (+2), Large (+4), Huge (+6), or Gargantuan (+10).
Grappler: The creature has advantage on attack rolls against any creature grappled by it.
Improved Ability Score. The creature increases any one Ability Score by 2.
Improved Immunity. The creatures gains immunity to two Conditions or any two types of damage.
Improved Resistance. The creature gains Resistance to any four types of damage.
Improved Saving Throw Proficiency. The creature gains Proficiency with any two Saving Throws.
Invisibility: The creature magically turns invisible until it attacks or casts a spell, or until its concentration ends (as if concentrating on a spell). Any equipment the [MON] wears or carries is invisible with it.
Magic Resistance: The creature has advantage on saving throws against spells and other magical effects.
Magic Weapons: The creature's weapon attacks are magical.
Martial Advantage: Once per turn, the creature can deal an extra (2d6) damage to a creature it hits with a weapon attack if that creature is within 5 ft. of an ally of the creature that isn't incapacitated.
Movement: The creature gains one type of Movement it doesn't possess equal to whatever base speed (usually Land or Swim) it possesses. Or one Movement speed the creature possesses increases by +30 feet.
Multiattack: The creature makes two or more attacks.
Pack Tactics: The creature has advantage on an attack roll against a creature if at least one of the creature's allies is within 5 ft. of the creature and the ally isn't incapacitated.
Rampage: When the creature reduces a creature to 0 hit points with a melee attack on its turn, the creature can take a bonus action to move up to half its speed and make a (choose one natural attack the creature possesses) attack.
Savage Attacks: When the creature scores a critical hit with a melee weapon attack, it can roll one of the weapon’s damage dice one additional time and add it to the extra damage of the critical hit.
Siege Monster: The creature deals double damage to objects and structures.
Sneak Attack: The creature deals an extra (2d6) damage when it hits a target with a weapon attack and has advantage on the attack roll, or when the target is within 5 ft. of an ally of the creature that isn't incapacitated and the creature doesn't have disadvantage on the attack roll.
Telepathy: The creature gains Telepathy with a range of 100 feet.
Tremorsense: The creature gains Tremorsense, with a range dependent on it's size: Tiny (5 feet), Small (20 feet), Medium (30 feet), Large (40 feet), Huge (50 feet, Gargantuan (60 feet).


At 11th Level, you also gain use of the Owlbear Theorem. You can merge two Beasts into a single Monstrosity. It will not be prone to obeying the caster, let alone anyone else, and may attack on sight. Best to have Dominate or Charm Monster handy, just in case. This transformation is permanent, and if two or more creatures are made, they can breed true. To determine the new Monstrosities stats, do the following:

Choose two Beasts to combine. Choose one to be the Primary and the other to be the Secondary.

Size is identical to the either the Primary or Secondary creature, choose one.

Hit Dice increase by 75% of the Primary Beasts, rounded up (for example a 4 HD Beast becomes a 7 HD Monstrosity).

AC is identical to the Primary Beasts, but it's Natural AC Bonus improves by +1 (plus any Dex Bonus if the Dexterity score changes). For example if the Primary Creature had a 12 AC (natural armor), it now has 13.

Land speed is identical to the Primary Beasts, other movement speeds are lost. Unless the primary form is aquatic, in which case it keeps it's Swim speed instead.

Ability Scores are identical to the Primary Beasts, except as follows: increase any two ability scores (usually physical) by +2. Raise one ability score by +1, and lower one by -1 (usually mental).

The Monstrosity is proficient in any Skills the Primary Beast has.

The Monstrosity has Darkvision, Tremorsense or Blindsight if either of the Beasts has it. Range is half of whichever Beast has the better of the two ranges (minimum 60 feet for Darkvision).

If the Beasts have any abilities, choose any two of them for the Monstrosi0ty to possess.

If the Primary Beast has Multiattack, so does the Monstrosity.

Attacks are identical to the Primary Beasts are the same (bonuses to hit may need to be recalculated), but the names and damage types may change. For example, an Owlbears Beak Attack is the same as a Bears Bite functionally, it's just called something different. Damage die improves by one step. For example, if the attack did 1d8 plus Strength, it now does 1d10 plus Strength. If it did 2d6, it now does 2d8. If either Beast has a special attack (it knocks opponents prone, does additional poison damage, etc.) the Cocaine Wizard can give up one ability to keep this attack. To determine the poison or other additional damage done by the modified attack, see any Beast of a similar size. For example, if you combine a Hyena, and a Poisonous Snake, it would do damage similar to that of a Giant Poisonous Snake ( both it and the new Monstrosity are Medium).

CR and Proficiency Bonus will need to be recalculated with one of the online CR calculators.

For every extra 500 GP/ounce of protolife you expend, the new Monstrosity retains one additional ability, movement type, skill or attack of either the Primary or Secondary Beast


At 13th Level you gain access to the Chimera Addendum. You merge two Beasts and a Monstrosity or Dragon into a single Monstrosity. It will not be prone to obeying the caster, let alone anyone else, and may attack on sight. Best to have Dominate or Charm Monster handy, just in case. This transformation is permanent, and if two or more creatures are made, they can breed true. To determine the new Monstrosities stats, do the following:

Choose two Beasts and one Monstrosity or Dragon to combine. Choose one to be the Primary and the other two to be the Secondaries.

Size is identical to the either the Primary or Secondary creatures, choose one.

Hit Dice is equal to whichever of the 3 creatures has the most Hit Dice, plus 20%. For example, if the creature with the highest Hit Dice total had a 10, the new Monstrosity has 12 Hit Dice.

Add together the two highest AC scores and divide by to, rounding down, to get the new AC. For example, a Red Dragon Wyrmling (AC 17) and a Lion (AC 12) becomes an AC 14.

Land speed is identical to the Primary Beasts, other movement speeds are lost. Unless the primary form is aquatic, in which case it keeps it's Swim speed instead.

Ability Scores are identical to the Primary Beasts, except as follows: increase any two ability scores (usually physical) by +2. Lower any two Ability scores by -1 (usually mental), and reduce Intelligence by 4 (to a minimum of 3).

The Monstrosity is proficient in any one Skill the Primary Beast has.

The Monstrosity has Darkvision, Tremorsense or Blindsight if either of the original creatures has it. Range is half of whichever creature has the better of the two ranges (minimum 60 feet for Darkvision).

The Monstrosity keeps no Abilities of the three creatures.
The new Monstrosity gains Multiattack, with the ability to make three attacks.

The new creature keeps one attack from each of the three creatures, plus one additional attack that can come from any of the three. Special attacks, such as Breath Weapons, remain the same. Natural attacks (claws, bites, horns, etc.) increase by a certain amount. One increases by 2 steps (i.e. a 1d8 becomes a 1d12 or 2d6). One increases by three steps (i.e. a 1d6 becomes a 1d12 or 2d6). One increases by 4 steps (i.e. a 1d4 becomes a 1d12, etc.).

CR and Proficiency Bonus will need to be recalculated with one of the online CR calculators.

For every extra 500 GP/ounce of protolife you expend, the new Monstrosity retains one additional ability, movement type, skill or attack of either the Primary or Secondary Beast


At 15th Level you can use Major Teratism. You make permanent changes to any one creature with an Intelligence score of 7 or less, and if you make two of them they can breed true. You can make as many cosmetic changes as you wish, and can give the creature one of the abilities listed under Minor Teratism, one from Moderate Teratism, and 1 from the list below:
Blindsight. The creature gains Blinsight wth a range of 60 feet.
Breath Weapon (Recharge 5-6).: The creature exhales one damage type of your choice in a line or cone (DC is 8 plus Proficiency Bonus plus Constitution Modifier). Each creature in that area must make a Dexterity saving throw, taking x damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. The Size of the Breath Weapon depends on Size: Medium (15 ft. cone or a 20x5 ft. line), Large (30 ft. cone or a 40x5 ft. line), Huge (60 ft. cone or a 60x5 ft. line), Gargantuan (90 ft. cone or a 90x10 ft. line). x depends on Size as well: Medium (4d8), Large (12d8), Huge (13d8), Gargantuan (15d8).
Damage Absorption: Whenever the creature is subjected to one type of damage you chose, it takes no damage and instead regains a number of hit points equal to the damage dealt.
Death Burst: When the creature dies, it explodes in a burst of one type of damage you choose. Each creature within x ft. of it must make a Dexterity saving throw (DC is 8 plus Proficiency Bonus plus Constitution Modifier), taking y damage of a type you choose on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. X and y depend on size: Tiny (5 ft., 1d6), Small or Medium (10 ft. 2d6), Large (20 ft., 3d6), Huge (40 ft., 4d6), or Gargantuan (80 ft., 5d6).
Fear Aura: Any creature hostile to the creature that starts its turn within x feet of the creature must make a Wisdom saving throw (DC is 8 plus Proficiency Bonus plus Charisma Modifier), unless the creature is incapacitated. On a failed save, the creature is frightened until the start of its next turn. If a creature's saving throw is successful, the creature is immune to the creature's Fear Aura for the next 24 hours. Tiny (5 ft.) Small or Medium (10 ft.), Large (20 ft.), Huge (40 ft.), or Gargantuan (80 ft.).
Freedom of Movement: The creature ignores difficult terrain, and magical effects can't reduce its speed or cause it to be restrained. It can spend 5 feet of movement to escape from nonmagical restraints or being grappled.
Frightful Presence (Action): Each creature of the creature's choice that is within 120 feet of the creature and aware of it must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw (DC is 8 plus Proficiency Bonus plus Charisma Modifier) or become frightened for 1 minute. A creature can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending the effect on itself on a success. If a creature's saving throw is successful or the effect ends for it, the creature is immune to the creature's Frightful Presence for the next 24 hours.
Greater Ability Score. The creature increases any one Ability Score by 4.
Greater Immunity. The creatures gains immunity to three Conditions or any two types of damage.
Greater Resistance. The creature gains Resistance to any five types of damage.
Greater Saving Throw Proficiency. The creature gains Proficiency with any three Saving Throws.
Inscrutable: The creature is immune to any effect that would sense its emotions or read its thoughts, as well as any divination spell that it refuses. Wisdom (Insight) checks made to ascertain the creature's intentions or sincerity have disadvantage.
Invisibility (Permanent): The creature is invisible.
Life Drain: Choose one of the creatures attacks, and if it successfully hits, the target takes x necrotic damage in addition to the attacks normal damage. The target’s hit point maximum is reduced by an amount equal to the necrotic damage taken, and the creature regains hit points equal to that amount. The reduction lasts until the target finishes a long rest. The target dies if this effect reduces its hit point maximum to 0. x depends on Size: Tiny or Small (+1d6), Medium or Large (+2d6), Huge or Gargantuan (+4d6).
Limited Magical Immunity: The creature can't be affected or detected by spells of ?3rd level or lower unless it wishes to be. It has advantage on saving throws against all other spells and magical effects.
Pounce: If the creature moves at least 20 ft. straight toward a target and then hits it with an attack of your choiceon the same turn, the target takes an extra x bludgeonng damage. If the target is a creature, it must succeed on a Strength saving throw (DC is 8 plus Proficiency Bonus plus Strength Modifier) or be knocked prone. If the target is prone, the creature can make another (choose any one) attack against it as a bonus action. x depends on Size: Medium or Smaller +1d6, Large or Huge +2d6, Gargantuan +3d6.
Regeneration: The creature regains 10 hit points at the start of its turn if it has at least 1 hit point.
Shielded Mind: The creature is immune to scrying and to any effect that would sense its emotions, read its thoughts, or detect its location.
Teleport (Action): The creature magically teleports, along with any equipment it is wearing or carrying, up to 120 feet to an unoccupied space it can see.
Truesight. The creature gains Truesight with a range of 30 feet.
Two Headed: The creature has advantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks and on saving throws against being blinded, charmed, deafened, frightened, stunned, and knocked unconscious.


At 17th Level you can spawn an entirely new species or life, or you can resurrect an extinct one if you have the appropriate mummy or fossil. If you are creating life, gather together enough organic matter to create a creature of the size you want, and apply the protolife. Once this ritual is complete, make a DC 20 Intelligence (Arcana) check. If you fail by 5 or more, the creature dies/doesn't spawn to life If you fail by 1 to 4, it comes to life for 24 hours before expiring, or you give life to a random monster whose CR is half that of what you intended to create. If you succeed, you can create any Aberration, Beast, Dragon, Giant, Humanoid, Monstrosity, Ooze or Plant whose CR is equal to or less than your Level. IF you succeed by 5 or more you create a creature is +1d6 higher than what you intended. In other words you can create a homebrew monster of the appropriate CR. You may now create critters with the Owlbear Theorem or Chimera Addendum, and they are Charmed for 24 hours like any other creation.

If you wish to resurrect an extinct species, get a mummified or fossilized body of a being whose extinct species you want to resurrect, and apply the protolife. Once this ritual is complete, make a DC 20 Intelligence (Arcana) check. If you fail by 5 or more, the creature resurrects as an Undead, and is not Charmed (you will probably have to homebrew stats). If you fail by 1 to 4, it comes to life for 24 hours before expiring. If you succeed, you can bring back any Aberration, Beast, Dragon, Giant, Humanoid, Monstrosity or Plant whose CR is equal to or less than your Level. This creature has an Intelligence score half that of normal (minimum of 1), and no memory. IF you succeed by 5 or more, the creature retains it's soul/memory. In other words you can create a homebrew monster of the appropriate CR. Your new creation doesn't begin it's life Charmed by you, unlike your other creations, Not until you reach 20th Level.


You can also use The Gargantua Principle. Get a number of living creatures of any one Type, and apply the protolife. You must have enough bodies that they equal the weight of a Gargantuan creature. Once this Ritual is complete, make a DC 20 Intelligence (Arcana) check. If you fail by 5 or more, the creature dies/doesn't turn into a Gargantua. If you fail by 1 to 4, it comes to life for 24 hours before expiring. If you succeed, you can create a Gargantua from any Aberration, Beast, Giant, Humanoid, Monstrosity, Ooze or Plant whose CR is equal to or less than your Level. IF you succeed by 5 or more you create an entirely new form of Gargantua, whose CR is +1d6 higher than you wanted. In other words you can create a homebrew monster of the appropriate CR. Gargantuas will likely be CR 21 plus.

To create a creature with a CR of more than 20, you must have gained any Epic Boon. One Epic Boon allows you to create creatures of CR 21-25. Two Epic Boons allows you to create creatures of CR 25 or lower, with them being Charmed for 24 hours like usual, and to create creatures of CR 26-30.

ABILITY SCORE IMPROVEMENT
When you reach 4th level, and again at 8th, 12th, 16th, and 19th level, you can increase one ability score of your choice by 2, or you can increase two ability scores of your choice by 1. As normal, you can't increase an ability score above 20 using this feature.

EMERGENCY SPELLS
At 11th level, you learn spells that may be necessary in an emergency (or just useful for your goals). Choose one 6th-level spell from the Screwball Mage spell list.

You can cast this spell once without expending a spell slot. You must finish a long rest before you can do so again.

At higher levels, you gain more spells of your choice that can be cast in this way: one 7th-level spell at 13th level, one 8th-level spell at 15th level, and one 9th-level spell at 17th level. You regain all uses of your Emergency Spells when you finish a long rest.

[Bhu]

Delusional Madman
Reality and you parted ways some time back. Maybe it's a curse, maybe it's PTSD, or maybe it's years of hard drugs and liquor. But you see and hear things that aren't always there. You have "brilliant" ideas. Like the (redacted by the current Government for the good of the populace). The town mayor still hasn't forgiven you for that one.

Skill Proficiencies: Deception, Stealth
Tool Proficiencies: Disguise Kit
Equipment: A crowbar, a set of dark common clothes including a hood, and a belt pouch containing 15 GP

Feature: (Forbidden Knowledge)
When you attempt to learn or recall secret or forbidden knowledge, if you don't know that information, you know where and from whom you can obtain it. Usually, this information comes from another madman's laboratory, or sometimes from a library, a university, or other supernatural being. Knowing where the information can be found doesn't automatically enable you to learn it; you might need to offer bribes, favors, or other incentives to induce people to reveal their secrets. Or just kill them, and burn the place down.

Your DM might rule that the knowledge you seek is secreted away in an inaccessible place, or that it simply can't be found. Unearthing the deepest secrets of the multiverse can require an adventure or even a whole campaign.

Suggested Characteristics
You don't see the world in a way that makes sense to others, and your idea of ethics/morality (if you have any) is wildly outside the mainstream. You have long accepted that society hates and fears you, and instead of trying to change that, you merely factor it into your plans.

d8 Personality Trait

1: I'm haunted by the ghost of a former lover (and for once I'm not responsible for her being a ghost).
2: I can't settle down in one place for very long (mostly because pitchfork mobs keep trying to burn me at the stake).
3: I always have a plan for what to do when things go wrong (that is inevitably, wildly insufficient).
4: I never stop smiling (mostly due to an alchemical accident). People find it disturbing.
5: I don't pay attention to the risks in a situation, after all, I've beaten the odds every other time (and eldritch beings owe me favors).
6: When I have a new idea, I get wildly excited about it (until it tries to get up off the table and kill me).
7: I am no common criminal, and I will not be treated as such (and if you try I know where your bodies are buried).
8: I blow up at the slightest insult due to anger management issues from my treatment at the hands of society (also I may be just a little crazy).

d6 Ideal

1: Knowledge. The path to power and success is through knowledge. (Neutral)
2: Independence. I am a free spirit – no one tells me what to do. (Chaotic)
3: Hedonist. Life is short. I live my life to the fullest, as I know any day could be my last. (Chaotic)
4: Survivor. No matter the cost, I will take any action necessary to survive. (Any)
5: Obsession. Once I have a goal, I will tirelessly pursue it, even though Hell itself should bar the path. (Any)
6: Revenge. I will do whatever it takes to get what I want, regardless of the harm it might cause. (Evil)

d6 Bond

1: I fleeced the wrong eldritch being and must work to ensure that this creature never crosses paths with me or those I care about.
2: I have an ancient text that holds terrible secrets that must not fall into the wrong hands (i.e. mine).
3: I stand in opposition, to what I'm not exactly sure (a little bit of everything really).
4: I owe everything to my mentor – a horrible person who's probably living as an amoeba somewhere.
5: I've been searching my whole life for the answer to a certain question
6: I sold my soul for knowledge. Multiple times, actually. There will be a free-for-all when I pass. Hell, I may be immortal as a consequence.

d6 Flaws

1: Unlocking an ancient mystery is worth the price of a civilization (there will always be more civilizations anyway).
2: I think the whole multiverse is out to get me (mostly because it is).
3: When faced with a choice between my research and my friends, I usually choose the research (until it tries to lay it's eggs in my small intestines).
4: I believe everyone has a price and am cynical toward those who present themselves as virtuous (because I've learned even Gods have a price).
5: I turn tail and run when things look bad (i.e. at least once a week).
6: I have few vices (but the ones I do have are well outside the mainstream).

[JNAProductions]

First off, helpful link for formatting.

Second off, the actual critique.

Basic Features
Hit die is d8.
No armor... Feels fragile already.
All simple and all ranged, interesting.
Tools, saves, and skills, all good.

Casting
Warlock style, cool.

Mutations
The ability to use them on others is interesting, but I don't see them yet. Assuming they're later down.

Crazy?
That's a 50% boost in spell casting until level 11. It's VASTLY better than a once per week saving a single spell slot, and probably a lot better than the other two too.
I wouldn't leave this as-is.

ASIs
Normal.

Emergency Spells
Mystic Arcanum by another name, okay.

Overall
This isn't complete enough to comment on.
There's no spell list, no mutations, and no subclass features. Like... This could be insanely busted (three Fireballs every short rest at level 5, with a mutation that makes it do double damage and friendly fire okay) or it could be bad as heck (no useful spells, mutations are barely worth it).

As-is for the moment, it's not playable.

[Bhu]

First off, helpful link for formatting.

Thanks!!

This isn't complete enough to comment on.
There's no spell list, no mutations, and no subclass features. Like... This could be insanely busted (three Fireballs every short rest at level 5, with a mutation that makes it do double damage and friendly fire okay) or it could be bad as heck (no useful spells, mutations are barely worth it).

As-is for the moment, it's not playable.

Nor is it intended to be. As mentioned above, the rest will be forthcoming soon, I just posted the basic class to see if anyone had concerns (and you have). So I need to adjust that bit, and then move on to the spells/mutations.

Regarding crazy: There are several new spells for this class that let it make monsters, without also giving you control over them (you need other spells for that). These new spells are rituals only, meaning you have to cast them as a ritual. Would it be acceptable to restrict the extra spell to one of them? For example, you could merge an owl and a bear to create an owlbear, but when it wakes up it does not recognize you as a friend or creator.

[faustin]

Crazy?
That's a 50% boost in spell casting until level 11. It's VASTLY better than a once per week saving a single spell slot, and probably a lot better than the other two too.
I wouldn't leave this as-is.

I would replace "Hard Studyin'' for "Wait, Wrong Textbook?"

Add a spell from another class list to your spellbook. After leveling up you can replace that spell for another from the same list.

[Bhu]

I would replace "Hard Studyin'' for "Wait, Wrong Textbook?"

Add a spell from another class list to your spellbook. After leveling up you can replace that spell for another from the same list.

I like this!

I'm trying to hammer out the spells/mutations as fast as i can. With luck I get at least one set done tomorrow.

[Bhu]

I edited the base class a tad (I still have yet to edit the third level ability). Here's the spell list (which is still a work in progress). Please feel free to critique.

Screwball Mage Spell List (Spells marked with a * are new spells found below)

Cantrips: Acid Splash, Blade Ward, Control Flames, Firebolt, Frostbite, Light, Mage Hand, Mending, Message, Mind Sliver, Minor Illusion, Poison Spray, Prestidigitation, Produce Flame, Resistance, Sapping Sting, Shillelagh, Shocking Grasp, Sword Burst, Word of Radiance

1st: Alarm, Charm Person, Command, Comprehend Languages, Detect Magic, Detect Poison and Disease, Disguise Self, Expeditious Retreat, Feather Fall, Identify, Mage Armor, Sanctuary, Shield

2nd: Alter Self, Arcane Lock, Blur, Borrowed Knowledge, Enlarge/Reduce, Find Traps, Fortune's Favor, Hold Person, Immovable Object, Invisibility, Knock, Locate Object, Mirror Image, Misty Step, Pass Without Trace, Protection from Poison, See Invisibility, Suggestion

3rd: Animate Dead, Bestow Curse, Blink, Clairvoyance, Counterspell, Create Food and Water, Dispel Magic, Elemental Weapon, Feign Death, Fly, Gaseous Form, Glyph of Warding, Haste, Intellect Fortress, Magic Circle, Nondetection, Protection from Energy, Sending, Sign of Sealing*, Tongues, Undo Mutation*

4th: Arcane Eye, Banishment, Charm Monster, Compulsion, Death Ward, Dimension Door, Dominate Beast, Fabricate, Freedom of Movement, Giant Insect, Greater Invisibility, Leomund's Secret Chest, Locate Creature

5th: Antilife Shell, Awaken, Creation, Dominate Person, Far Step, Geas, Hold Monster, Legend Lore, Mislead, Modify Memory, Passwall, Rary's Telepathic Bond, Scrying, Seeming, Skill Empowerment, Teleport Circle

6th: Arcane Gate, Awaken Construct*, Awaken Undead, Contingency, Create Homunculus, Create Undead, Enhancement*, Forbiddance, Globe of Invulnerability, Guards and Wards, Magic Jar, Mass Suggestion, Mental Prison, Reverse Perversion*, Tactical Teleportation*, True Seeing, Word of Recall

7th: Create Magen, Etherealness, Forcecage, Fortunate Fate*, Plane Shift, Project Image, Sequester, Simulacrum, Teleport

8th: Antimagic Field, Antipathy/Sympathy, Clone, Demiplane, Dominate Monster, Glibness, Maze, Mind Blank, Telepathy

9th: Elminster's Evasion*, Foresight, Gate, Hindsight*, Humansculpting*, Imprisonment, Prismatic Wall, Superior Invisibility*, Time Stop




New Spells

Awaken Construct
6th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M (The brain of a humanoid that has been dead less than 8 hours, or one ounce of protolife).
Duration: Instantaneous
After spending the casting time tracing magical pathways within a dead brain or mass of protolife, you touch a Huge or smaller Construct. The target must have either no Intelligence score or an Intelligence of 3 or less. The target gains an Intelligence of 10. The target also gains the ability to speak one language you know.

The awakened Construct is charmed by you for 10 days or until you or your companions do anything harmful to it. When the charmed condition ends, the awakened creature chooses whether to remain friendly to you, based on how you treated it while it was charmed. This effect ignores immunity to the charmed condition.


Awaken Undead
6th Level Necromancy
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S, M (The skull of a humanoid that has been dead less than 8 hours, or one ounce of protolife).
Duration: Instantaneous
After spending the casting time tracing magical pathways within a skull or mass of protolife, you alter all Huge or Smaller Undead within the spells range. The target must have either no Intelligence score or an Intelligence of 3 or less. The target gains an Intelligence of 10. The target also gains the ability to speak one language you know. The undead are charmed by you for 1 day or until you or your companions do anything harmful to it. When the charmed condition ends, the awakened creature chooses whether to remain friendly to you, based on how you treated it while it was charmed (and it's own hungers as well). This ignores immunity to the charmed condition.


Elminster's Evasion
9th Level Evocation
Casting Time: 10 Minutes
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M (A hollow statuette of yourself carved from ivory and decorated with gems worth at least 1,500 gp filled with quicksilver).
Duration: 10 Days
This is a more powerful version of Contingency, and is identical to that spell except as follows: You may make any spell of 7th Level or lower as the contingent spell (the spell gets it's name because Elminster used it for teleport). Instead of one trigger, you may choose a number of triggers equal to your spellcasting ability modifier.


Enhancement
6th Level Transmutation (Ritual)
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M (100 GP in alchemical substances)
Duration: Concentration, up to 10 Minutes
When you cast this spell on a creature, choose one of the following effects to apply for the spells duration:
1: Gain 10 temporary hit points at the beginning of each of the recipients turn.
2: Gain Advantage on all Attack and Initiative rolls.
3: Gain +1d12 to all damage rolls.
4: Gain Advantage with one type of Saving Throw.
5: Increase any one Ability Score by +2.
6: Increase the Save DC of any one action or ability by +2.


Fortunate Fate
7th Level Evocation
Casting Time: 1 Minute
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 10 Minutes
For the duration of the spell, anytime the target of the spell takes damage that would bring it to 0 hit points, it is reduced to 1 hit point instead.


Hindsight
9th Level Divination
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M (An hourglass-shaped diamond worth at least 1,000 gp).
Duration: Instantaneous
The spell brings to your mind a brief summary of the significant lore about the location you are in. The lore might consist of current tales, forgotten stories, or even secret lore that has never been widely known. The more information you already have about the location, the more precise and detailed the information you receive is.


Humansculpting
9th Level Transmutation (Ritual only)
Casting Time: 1 Hour
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M (1 pound of protolife)
Duration: Instantaneous
You can turn a creature that isn't a Humanoid, into a creature that at least superficially resembles one. This can only be used on Aberrations, Beasts, Monstrosities, Oozes or Plants of Small or Medium size. If the creature the spell is cast on has an Intelligence or Charisma score of 6 or less, it's Intelligence or Charisma score increases by +4. If it has an Intelligence or Charisma score of 7, 8 or 9, it becomes a 10. The new form has hands and feet, so it gains a land speed of 30 feet if it doesn't already have one, and may be able to use things like tools and weapons it couldn't use before. It gains Advantage on Charisma (Deception ad Persuasion) Checks made against Humanoids. The creature keeps all the abilities it had, and can now speak one language you know as well.


Reverse Perversion
6th Level Transmutation (Ritual)
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M (1000 GP in magical components that will vary depending on what you're undoing)
Duration: Instantaneous
Choose one creature created or affected by Minor Teratism, Moderate Teratism, or Making Friends: The Owlbear Theorem. Creatures lose any abilities gained by Minor Teratism or Teratism and are Stunned for 1 round.. Creatures created by Pervert Nature I (or descended from them) separate into their component Beasts (for example an Owlbear would become a Brown Bear and an Owl) and are Stunned for 1 round. Optionally, it can destroy 1d6 pounds of protolife.

At Higher Levels: If cast at 7th Level on a Creature created by the Chimera Addendum, it separates it into it's component parts, and Stuns them for 1 round (for example a Chimera would become a Goat, a Lion and a Red Dragon Wyrmling). If cast at 9th Level it does 30d6 Necrotic damage to any creature created or modified by Making Friends. This damage cannot be redirected or stopped in any way.


Sign of Sealing
3rd Level Abjuration
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S, M (A crushed emerald worth 100 gp).
Duration: Until dispelled or triggered
You seal a door, chest, or similar closure with a prominent magical sigil that bars entry and prevents opening. A door or object protected by this spell can be opened only by breaking (add 10 to the normal break DC) or by the use of Knock or Dispel Magic. If the door or object is forced open by any means (magical or physical), the sign of sealing deals 4d8 points of Force damage in a 30-foot radius (Dexterity Save for half damage).

At Higher Levels: If cast at 4th Level or higher, the damage increases by 1d8 for every slot level above 3rd.


Superior Invisibility
9th Level Illusion
Casting Time: 10 Minutes
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to Hour
This spell works like Greater Invisibility, except it renders you undetectable to all senses other than touch (this includes Blindsight). It renders you undetectable to Divination spells, other than True Seeing.


Tactical Teleportation
6th Level Conjuration
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 60 feet
Target: You and up to four willing creatures that you can see within range, or a single object that you can see within range
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous
You can teleport up to 4 willing creatures (one of which can be yourself) that are within range that you can see, to any other unoccupied square within range (you may use this to swap positions with one or more creatures). Each subject can bring along any gear that doesn't exceed it's carrying capacity.

At Higher Levels:When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 7th level or higher, you can teleport one additional creature for every slot level above 6th.


Undo Mutation
3rd Level Transmutation (Ritual)
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous
Choose one creature that has a Mutation, or that has had Minor Teratism cast on it. Any Mutation with a prerequisite of 3rd level or lower on the target ends (as does any ability gained by Minor Teratism). For each Mutation with a prerequisite of 5th level or higher on the target, this spell must be upcast to a spell slot equal to the spell level of the Mutation. Once the Mutation ends, and you can make another one. Effective Spell Level can be found with Mutations.

At Higher Levels:When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, you automatically end the effects of a Transmutation spell on the target if the spell's level is equal to or less than the level of the spell slot you used (or a Mutation whose Effective Spell Level is the same.

[Yakk]

Enhancement
6th Level Transmutation (Ritual only)
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M (100 GP in alchemical substances)
Duration: Concentration, up to 10 Minutes
When you cast this spell on a creature, choose one of the following effects to apply:
1: Gain 70 temporary hit points.
2: Gain Advantage on all Attack and Initiative rolls.
3: +1d12 to all damage rolls.
4: Gain Advantage with one type of Saving Throw.
5: Increase any one Ability Score by +2.
6: Increase the Save DC of any action or ability by +2.

Instead of "ritual only", why not make it a 10 minute casting time spell?

A spell cast as a ritual means you can cast it without preparing it (if a prepared caster) and without a spell slot if you spend 10 extra minutes on it.

As a ritual only spell, this becomes a 10 minute casting time spell with no slot cost.

As a 10 minute casting time spell, it is sort of garbage; spend 10 minutes to get 10 minutes of buffs. Insofar as it isn't garbage, it is too good, in it is a bunch of free buffs for very little opportunity cost.

I'm not sure what niche "ritual only" spells are supposed to fill. You already are granting at-will abilities. Making it a spell, then excluding it from the spell slot system, doesn't seem like great design *unless* there is some goal I'm missing.

[Bhu]

I'm not sure what niche "ritual only" spells are supposed to fill. You already are granting at-will abilities. Making it a spell, then excluding it from the spell slot system, doesn't seem like great design *unless* there is some goal I'm missing.

The idea was that their chief focus is monster making (even though they don't have control over said monsters), but they have very few spell slots. Not making them rituals means they have o use their only high level spell slot to make a critter, or for the teleport they need to escape it when it wakes up.

[Yakk]

The idea was that their chief focus is monster making (even though they don't have control over said monsters), but they have very few spell slots. Not making them rituals means they have o use their only high level spell slot to make a critter, or for the teleport they need to escape it when it wakes up.

So, make it a class feature?

I am uncertain why it has to interact with spellcasting at all.

If you write it out as a class feature, it ends up looking ridiculous.

[Bhu]

So, make it a class feature?

I am uncertain why it has to interact with spellcasting at all.

If you write it out as a class feature, it ends up looking ridiculous.

I guess I could make it the 3rd level class feature.

[Yakk]

I guess I could make it the 3rd level class feature.

Which gives you:

Enhancement:
You can spend 10 minutes applying an Enhancement to a creature. This requires concentration, and 100 gp in alchemical substances.

Once you have applied an enhancement, it lasts 10 minutes or until your concentration is broken, whichever comes first.

Pick one of the following effects:
1: Gain 70 temporary hit points.
2: Gain Advantage on all Attack and Initiative rolls.
3: +1d12 to all damage rolls.
4: Gain Advantage with one type of Saving Throw.
5: Increase any one Ability Score by +2.
6: Increase the Save DC of any action or ability by +2.

which is utter garbage you might notice. (The concentration while applying it should also be deleted, but isn't important).

10 minute prep time for a 10 minute buff is silly.

[Bhu]

Woops, that one is a typo, I'll fix that.

[Bhu]

my proposal for the third level ability (which gains different uses at higher levels. Still in rough, unfinished form. Also did minor edits to ritual casting.

MAKING FRIENDS
AT third Level you gain the ability to permanently modify or create lifeforms via alchemical and magical processes. This new or altered life form requires some serious expense. Firstly, the Mage must construct a magical stone sarcophagus to place the body In that it wants to transform, or the life it wishes to create. A Tiny sarcophagus requires 50 GP, and that costs double for every Size Category higher (i.e. 100 GP for small, 200 GP for Medium, 400 GP for Large, etc. The process also requires (500 x Challenge Rating) Gold Pieces in alchemical compounds, or a half ounce of protolife per 1000 GP instead. If you are creating a creature instead of modifying one, you also need enough flesh and bone matter to make a creature of the size you want. You can create life based on your Class Level and sublcass. Maximum CR of the creature you intend to create/modify cannot be higher than your Class Level. You can create any Aberration, Beast, Dragon, Giant, Humanoid, Monstrosity, Ooze or Plant of the appropriate CR. With the exception of a few things listed below that all Screwball Mages can do, the type of life you can create will largely depend on your subclass. The Ritual itself takes 10 Minutes, and the creature takes a number of hours equal to half it's CR to 'cure', before it awakens confused and in pain.


At 5th Level the Warlock can use Minor Teratism. You make permanent changes to any one creature with an Intelligence score of 7 or less, and if you make two of them they can breed true. You can make as many cosmetic changes as you wish. Glowing eyes, different body colors, patterns, coverings etc. You may also change the sounds it makes, and give it one minor ability from the following list:
Aggression: As a bonus action, the creature can move up to its speed toward a hostile creature that it can see.
Ambusher: The creature has advantage on attack rolls against any creature it has surprised.
Amorphous: The creature can move through a space as narrow as 1 inch wide without squeezing.
Amphibious: The creature can breathe air and water.
Armor: Increase Armor Class by +2.
Best or Burden: The creature is considered to be a creature one Size Category larger for the purpose of determining its carrying capacity.
Berserk: Whenever the creature starts its turn with x hit points or fewer, roll a d6. On a 6, the [MON] goes berserk. On each of its turns while berserk, the creature attacks the nearest creature it can see. If no creature is near enough to move to and attack, the creature attacks an object, with preference for an object smaller than itself. Once the creature goes berserk, it continues to do so until it is destroyed or regains all its hit points. x varies depending on Size, Tiny (5), Small (20), Medium (40), Large (60), Huge (80) or Gargantuan (100). This will vary depending on how much Hit Dice the creature has, and the hit point threshold should be roughly 50% of maximum.
Brave: The creature has advantage on saving throws against being frightened.
Camouflage: The creature has advantage on Dexterity (Stealth) checks made to hide in one specific terrain.
Darkvision: The creature gains Darkvision with a range of 60 feet.
Flyby: The creature doesn't provoke opportunity attacks when it flies out of an enemy's reach. The creature must have a Fly speed.
Hold Breath: The creature can hold its breath for 15 Minutes (1 Hour if Large or bigger).
Ice Walk: The creature can move across and climb icy surfaces without needing to make an ability check. Additionally, difficult terrain composed of ice or snow doesn't cost it extra movement.
Illumination: The creature sheds bright light in a x-foot radius and dim light in an additional x ft. x depends on size: Tiny (5 feet), Small or Medium (10 feet), Large (15 feet), Huge (20 feet), Gargantuan (30 feet).
Keen Sense: The creature has advantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks that rely on either hearing, sight or smell.
Immunity. The creatures gains immunity to one Condition or type of damage.
Limited Telepathy: The creature can magically communicate simple ideas, emotions, and images telepathically with any creature within 60 ft. of it.
Mimicry: The creature can mimic any sounds it has heard. A creature that hears the sounds can tell they are imitations with a successful (Save DC is 8 plus Proficiency Bonus plus Wisdom Modifier) Wisdom (Insight) check.
Nimble Escape: The creature can take the Disengage or Hide action as a bonus action on each of its turns.
Reckless: At the start of its turn, the creature can gain advantage on all melee weapon attack rolls it makes during that turn, but attack rolls against it have advantage until the start of its next turn.
Relentless (Recharges after a Short or Long Rest): If the creature takes x damage or less that would reduce it to 0 hit points, it is reduced to 1 hit point instead. x varies depending on size, Small (4), Medium (7), Large (10), Huge (14), or Gargantuan (17).
Resistance. The creature gains Resistance to any three types of damage.
Saving Throw Proficiency. The creature gains Proficiency with any one type of Saving Throw.
Sense Magic: The creature senses magic within 120 feet of it at will. This trait otherwise works like the detect magic spell but isn't itself magical.
Shadow Stealth: While in dim light or darkness, the creature can take the Hide action as a bonus action.
Skilled. The creature gains Proficiency with two skills.
Spider Climb: The creature can climb difficult surfaces, including upside down on ceilings, without needing to make an ability check.
Standing Leap: The creature's long jump is up to 25 ft. and its high jump is up to 15 ft., with or without a running start. Increase the range by 5 feet for every Size Category above Medium the creature is.
Steadfast: The creature can't be frightened while it can see an allied creature within 30 feet of it.
Sure-Footed: The creature has advantage on Strength and Dexterity saving throws made against effects that would knock it prone.


At 11th Level, this ability can be used to create 1d6 pounds of protolife, a strange biological mutagen composed of pulsing flesh and fluid. With this important step you can move up to creating your own, instead of having to buy or steal it from more advanced mages.


You can also use Moderate Teratism. You make permanent changes to any one creature with an Intelligence score of 7 or less, and if you make two of them they can breed true. You can make as many cosmetic changes as you wish, and can give the creature one of the abilities listed under Minor Teratism, and 1 from the list below:
Brute: A melee weapon deals one extra die of its damage when the creature hits with it.
Charge: If the creature moves at least 20 ft. straight toward a target and then hits it with a (choose any one) attack on the same turn, the target takes an extra x bledgeoning damage. If the target is a creature, it must succeed on a Strength (DC is 8 plus Proficiency Bonus plus Strength Modifier) saving throw or be knocked prone. x depends on Size: Medium or Smaller +1d6, Large or Huge +2d6, Gargantuan +3d6.
Damaging Body: A creature that touches the creature or hits it with a melee attack while within 5 feet of it takes (1d6) damage. of a type of your choice
Elemental Weapons: Any melee weapon the creature wields deals an extra (1d6) damage on a hit (choose the damage type).
Extra Hit Dice. The creature gains extra Hit Dice based on it's Size: Tiny or Small (+1), Medium (+2), Large (+4), Huge (+6), or Gargantuan (+10).
Grappler: The creature has advantage on attack rolls against any creature grappled by it.
Improved Ability Score. The creature increases any one Ability Score by 2.
Improved Immunity. The creatures gains immunity to two Conditions or any two types of damage.
Improved Resistance. The creature gains Resistance to any four types of damage.
Improved Saving Throw Proficiency. The creature gains Proficiency with any two Saving Throws.
Invisibility: The creature magically turns invisible until it attacks or casts a spell, or until its concentration ends (as if concentrating on a spell). Any equipment the [MON] wears or carries is invisible with it.
Magic Resistance: The creature has advantage on saving throws against spells and other magical effects.
Magic Weapons: The creature's weapon attacks are magical.
Martial Advantage: Once per turn, the creature can deal an extra (2d6) damage to a creature it hits with a weapon attack if that creature is within 5 ft. of an ally of the creature that isn't incapacitated.
Movement: The creature gains one type of Movement it doesn't possess equal to whatever base speed (usually Land or Swim) it possesses. Or one Movement speed the creature possesses increases by +30 feet.
Multiattack: The creature makes two or more attacks.
Pack Tactics: The creature has advantage on an attack roll against a creature if at least one of the creature's allies is within 5 ft. of the creature and the ally isn't incapacitated.
Rampage: When the creature reduces a creature to 0 hit points with a melee attack on its turn, the creature can take a bonus action to move up to half its speed and make a (choose one natural attack the creature possesses) attack.
Savage Attacks: When the creature scores a critical hit with a melee weapon attack, it can roll one of the weapon’s damage dice one additional time and add it to the extra damage of the critical hit.
Siege Monster: The creature deals double damage to objects and structures.
Sneak Attack: The creature deals an extra (2d6) damage when it hits a target with a weapon attack and has advantage on the attack roll, or when the target is within 5 ft. of an ally of the creature that isn't incapacitated and the creature doesn't have disadvantage on the attack roll.
Telepathy: The creature gains Telepathy with a range of 100 feet.
Tremorsense: The creature gains Tremorsense, with a range dependent on it's size: Tiny (5 feet), Small (20 feet), Medium (30 feet), Large (40 feet), Huge (50 feet, Gargantuan (60 feet).


At 11th Level, you also gain use of the Owlbear Theorem. You can merge two Beasts into a single Monstrosity. It will not be prone to obeying the caster, let alone anyone else, and may attack on sight. Best to have Dominate or Charm Monster handy, just in case. This transformation is permanent, and if two or more creatures are made, they can breed true. To determine the new Monstrosities stats, do the following:

Choose two Beasts to combine. Choose one to be the Primary and the other to be the Secondary.

Size is identical to the either the Primary or Secondary creature, choose one.

Hit Dice increase by 75% of the Primary Beasts, rounded up (for example a 4 HD Beast becomes a 7 HD Monstrosity).

AC is identical to the Primary Beasts, but it's Natural AC Bonus improves by +1 (plus any Dex Bonus if the Dexterity score changes). For example if the Primary Creature had a 12 AC (natural armor), it now has 13.

Land speed is identical to the Primary Beasts, other movement speeds are lost. Unless the primary form is aquatic, in which case it keeps it's Swim speed instead.

Ability Scores are identical to the Primary Beasts, except as follows: increase any two ability scores (usually physical) by +2. Raise one ability score by +1, and lower one by -1 (usually mental).

The Monstrosity is proficient in any Skills the Primary Beast has.

The Monstrosity has Darkvision, Tremorsense or Blindsight if either of the Beasts has it. Range is half of whichever Beast has the better of the two ranges (minimum 60 feet for Darkvision).

If the Beasts have any abilities, choose any two of them for the Monstrosi0ty to possess.

If the Primary Beast has Multiattack, so does the Monstrosity.

Attacks are identical to the Primary Beasts are the same (bonuses to hit may need to be recalculated), but the names and damage types may change. For example, an Owlbears Beak Attack is the same as a Bears Bite functionally, it's just called something different. Damage die improves by one step. For example, if the attack did 1d8 plus Strength, it now does 1d10 plus Strength. If it did 2d6, it now does 2d8. If either Beast has a special attack (it knocks opponents prone, does additional poison damage, etc.) the Cocaine Wizard can give up one ability to keep this attack. To determine the poison or other additional damage done by the modified attack, see any Beast of a similar size. For example, if you combine a Hyena, and a Poisonous Snake, it would do damage similar to that of a Giant Poisonous Snake ( both it and the new Monstrosity are Medium).

CR and Proficiency Bonus will need to be recalculated with one of the online CR calculators.

For every extra 500 GP/ounce of protolife you expend, the new Monstrosity retains one additional ability, movement type, skill or attack of either the Primary or Secondary Beast


At 13th Level you gain access to the Chimera Addendum. You merge two Beasts and a Monstrosity or Dragon into a single Monstrosity. It will not be prone to obeying the caster, let alone anyone else, and may attack on sight. Best to have Dominate or Charm Monster handy, just in case. This transformation is permanent, and if two or more creatures are made, they can breed true. To determine the new Monstrosities stats, do the following:

Choose two Beasts and one Monstrosity or Dragon to combine. Choose one to be the Primary and the other two to be the Secondaries.

Size is identical to the either the Primary or Secondary creatures, choose one.

Hit Dice is equal to whichever of the 3 creatures has the most Hit Dice, plus 20%. For example, if the creature with the highest Hit Dice total had a 10, the new Monstrosity has 12 Hit Dice.

Add together the two highest AC scores and divide by to, rounding down, to get the new AC. For example, a Red Dragon Wyrmling (AC 17) and a Lion (AC 12) becomes an AC 14.

Land speed is identical to the Primary Beasts, other movement speeds are lost. Unless the primary form is aquatic, in which case it keeps it's Swim speed instead.

Ability Scores are identical to the Primary Beasts, except as follows: increase any two ability scores (usually physical) by +2. Lower any two Ability scores by -1 (usually mental), and reduce Intelligence by 4 (to a minimum of 3).

The Monstrosity is proficient in any one Skill the Primary Beast has.

The Monstrosity has Darkvision, Tremorsense or Blindsight if either of the original creatures has it. Range is half of whichever creature has the better of the two ranges (minimum 60 feet for Darkvision).

The Monstrosity keeps no Abilities of the three creatures.
The new Monstrosity gains Multiattack, with the ability to make three attacks.

The new creature keeps one attack from each of the three creatures, plus one additional attack that can come from any of the three. Special attacks, such as Breath Weapons, remain the same. Natural attacks (claws, bites, horns, etc.) increase by a certain amount. One increases by 2 steps (i.e. a 1d8 becomes a 1d12 or 2d6). One increases by three steps (i.e. a 1d6 becomes a 1d12 or 2d6). One increases by 4 steps (i.e. a 1d4 becomes a 1d12, etc.).

CR and Proficiency Bonus will need to be recalculated with one of the online CR calculators.

For every extra 500 GP/ounce of protolife you expend, the new Monstrosity retains one additional ability, movement type, skill or attack of either the Primary or Secondary Beast


At 15th Level you can use Major Teratism. You make permanent changes to any one creature with an Intelligence score of 7 or less, and if you make two of them they can breed true. You can make as many cosmetic changes as you wish, and can give the creature one of the abilities listed under Minor Teratism, one from Moderate Teratism, and 1 from the list below:
Blindsight. The creature gains Blinsight wth a range of 60 feet.
Breath Weapon (Recharge 5-6).: The creature exhales one damage type of your choice in a line or cone (DC is 8 plus Proficiency Bonus plus Constitution Modifier). Each creature in that area must make a Dexterity saving throw, taking x damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. The Size of the Breath Weapon depends on Size: Medium (15 ft. cone or a 20x5 ft. line), Large (30 ft. cone or a 40x5 ft. line), Huge (60 ft. cone or a 60x5 ft. line), Gargantuan (90 ft. cone or a 90x10 ft. line). x depends on Size as well: Medium (4d8), Large (12d8), Huge (13d8), Gargantuan (15d8).
Damage Absorption: Whenever the creature is subjected to one type of damage you chose, it takes no damage and instead regains a number of hit points equal to the damage dealt.
Death Burst: When the creature dies, it explodes in a burst of one type of damage you choose. Each creature within x ft. of it must make a Dexterity saving throw (DC is 8 plus Proficiency Bonus plus Constitution Modifier), taking y damage of a type you choose on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. X and y depend on size: Tiny (5 ft., 1d6), Small or Medium (10 ft. 2d6), Large (20 ft., 3d6), Huge (40 ft., 4d6), or Gargantuan (80 ft., 5d6).
Fear Aura: Any creature hostile to the creature that starts its turn within x feet of the creature must make a Wisdom saving throw (DC is 8 plus Proficiency Bonus plus Charisma Modifier), unless the creature is incapacitated. On a failed save, the creature is frightened until the start of its next turn. If a creature's saving throw is successful, the creature is immune to the creature's Fear Aura for the next 24 hours. Tiny (5 ft.) Small or Medium (10 ft.), Large (20 ft.), Huge (40 ft.), or Gargantuan (80 ft.).
Freedom of Movement: The creature ignores difficult terrain, and magical effects can't reduce its speed or cause it to be restrained. It can spend 5 feet of movement to escape from nonmagical restraints or being grappled.
Frightful Presence (Action): Each creature of the creature's choice that is within 120 feet of the creature and aware of it must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw (DC is 8 plus Proficiency Bonus plus Charisma Modifier) or become frightened for 1 minute. A creature can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending the effect on itself on a success. If a creature's saving throw is successful or the effect ends for it, the creature is immune to the creature's Frightful Presence for the next 24 hours.
Greater Ability Score. The creature increases any one Ability Score by 4.
Greater Immunity. The creatures gains immunity to three Conditions or any two types of damage.
Greater Resistance. The creature gains Resistance to any five types of damage.
Greater Saving Throw Proficiency. The creature gains Proficiency with any three Saving Throws.
Inscrutable: The creature is immune to any effect that would sense its emotions or read its thoughts, as well as any divination spell that it refuses. Wisdom (Insight) checks made to ascertain the creature's intentions or sincerity have disadvantage.
Invisibility (Permanent): The creature is invisible.
Life Drain: Choose one of the creatures attacks, and if it successfully hits, the target takes x necrotic damage in addition to the attacks normal damage. The target’s hit point maximum is reduced by an amount equal to the necrotic damage taken, and the creature regains hit points equal to that amount. The reduction lasts until the target finishes a long rest. The target dies if this effect reduces its hit point maximum to 0. x depends on Size: Tiny or Small (+1d6), Medium or Large (+2d6), Huge or Gargantuan (+4d6).
Limited Magical Immunity: The creature can't be affected or detected by spells of ?3rd level or lower unless it wishes to be. It has advantage on saving throws against all other spells and magical effects.
Pounce: If the creature moves at least 20 ft. straight toward a target and then hits it with an attack of your choiceon the same turn, the target takes an extra x bludgeonng damage. If the target is a creature, it must succeed on a Strength saving throw (DC is 8 plus Proficiency Bonus plus Strength Modifier) or be knocked prone. If the target is prone, the creature can make another (choose any one) attack against it as a bonus action. x depends on Size: Medium or Smaller +1d6, Large or Huge +2d6, Gargantuan +3d6.
Regeneration: The creature regains 10 hit points at the start of its turn if it has at least 1 hit point.
Shielded Mind: The creature is immune to scrying and to any effect that would sense its emotions, read its thoughts, or detect its location.
Teleport (Action): The creature magically teleports, along with any equipment it is wearing or carrying, up to 120 feet to an unoccupied space it can see.
Truesight. The creature gains Truesight with a range of 30 feet.
Two Headed: The creature has advantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks and on saving throws against being blinded, charmed, deafened, frightened, stunned, and knocked unconscious.


At 17th Level you can spawn an entirely new species or life, or you can resurrect an extinct one if you have the appropriate mummy or fossil. If you are creating life, gather together enough organic matter to create a creature of the size you want, and apply the protolife. Once this ritual is complete, make a DC 20 Intelligence (Arcana) check. If you fail by 5 or more, the creature dies/doesn't spawn to life If you fail by 1 to 4, it comes to life for 24 hours before expiring, or you give life to a random monster whose CR is half that of what you intended to create. If you succeed, you can create any Aberration, Beast, Dragon, Giant, Humanoid, Monstrosity, Ooze or Plant whose CR is equal to or less than your Level. IF you succeed by 5 or more you create a creature is +1d6 higher than what you intended. In other words you can create a homebrew monster of the appropriate CR. Your new creation is Charmed by you for 24 hours, unless you or your companions harm or mistreat it. When the Charmed condition ends, the awakened creature chooses whether to remain friendly to you, based on how you treated it while it was Charmed.

If you wish to resurrect an extinct species, get a mummified or fossilized body of a being whose extinct species you want to resurrect, and apply the protolife. Once this ritual is complete, make a DC 20 Intelligence (Arcana) check. If you fail by 5 or more, the creature resurrects as an Undead, and is not Charmed (you will probably have to homebrew stats). If you fail by 1 to 4, it comes to life for 24 hours before expiring. If you succeed, you can bring back any Aberration, Beast, Dragon, Giant, Humanoid, Monstrosity or Plant whose CR is equal to or less than your Level. This creature has an Intelligence score half that of normal (minimum of 1), and no memory. IF you succeed by 5 or more, the creature retains it's soul/memory. In other words you can create a homebrew monster of the appropriate CR. Your new creation is Charmed by you for 24 hours, unless you or your companions harm or mistreat it. When the Charmed condition ends, the awakened creature chooses whether to remain friendly to you, based on how you treated it while it was Charmed.


You can also use The Gargantua Principle. Get a number of living creatures of any one Type, and apply the protolife. You must have enough bodies that they equal the weight of a Gargantuan creature. Once this Ritual is complete, make a DC 20 Intelligence (Arcana) check. If you fail by 5 or more, the creature dies/doesn't turn into a Gargantua. If you fail by 1 to 4, it comes to life for 24 hours before expiring. If you succeed, you can create a Gargantua from any Aberration, Beast, Giant, Humanoid, Monstrosity, Ooze or Plant whose CR is equal to or less than your Level. IF you succeed by 5 or more you create an entirely new form of Gargantua, whose CR is +1d6 higher than you wanted. In other words you can create a homebrew monster of the appropriate CR. Your new creation is Charmed by you for 24 hours, unless you or your companions harm or mistreat it. When the Charmed condition ends, the awakened creature chooses whether to remain friendly to you, based on how you treated it while it was Charmed.

[Bhu]

Okay, there might be a delayed or non post this week. The forum I initially post stuff on had an outage, and lost all data from the 18th to the 26th, so I need to rebuild several posts there from here, and re-edit stuff.

[Yakk]

The name of the class is more generic than the implementation by far.

I'd be somewhat tempted to do a split down that fault line.

On the left is "You are someone who tried to learn magic but it didn't quite take".

On the right might be the mutation mechanics, for example.

So on the left is the warlock-like pseudo-wizard framework.

On the right, instead of a warlock pact or wizard school you have "what is wrong with you"; what you call "field of study". But it encompass the mutation bit, which is a narrower concept.

Then again, maybe this doesn't leave enough stuff on the left.

[Bhu]

The name of the class is more generic than the implementation by far.

It was initially called something quite different, but it was pointed out to me that it could be offensive.

[Bhu]

Okay, Making Friends is edited to be back where it was before my data loss. Will be adding more tomorrow, I'm a little burned out after the weeks events.

[Bhu]

With the revised ability eliminating spells, I have another 8 spells to do. Is there anything you'd want? I hope to have some of the mutations up today.

[Bhu]

Note this is the very roughest of drafts:


Mutations List

Amphibious
The recipient can breathe air and water.

Babel Implant
The recipient of this implant permanently has the benefits of the Comprehend Languages spell.

Darkvision
The recipient gains Darkvision out to 120 feet.

Dermal Implants (self only)
You can cast Mage Armor on yourself at will, without expending a spell slot or material components.

Disabling Assault (self only) (Prerequisite: Mind Sliver Cantrip)
Once on each of your turns when you hit a creature with your Mind Sliver Cantrip, you may choose any one roll for it to subtract 1d4 from, you aren't limited to Saving Throws.

Eldritch Sensor
The recipient of this Mutation can cast Detect Magic at will, without expending a spell slot.

Knowledge Implant
The Recipient of this Mutation gains Proficiency in 2 skills it doesn't currently have Proficiency in.

Lizard Brain (self only)
You can cast Speak With Animals at will, without expending a spell slot.

Mind Spike (self only) (Prerequisite: Mind Sliver Cantrip)
When you cast Mind Sliver, its range is 300 feet.

Natural Weapon
The recipient gains a natural attack (claws, pincers, etc.) doing 1d8 plus either the recipients Strength or Dexterity modifier damage. Choose whether the damage is bludgeoning, piercing or slashing wen getting the implant. It is considered a magic weapon.

Paralyzing Assault (self only) (Prerequisite: Mind Sliver Cantrip)
Once on each of your turns when you hit a creature with your Mind Sliver Cantrip, it cannot move towards you until the beginning of your next turn.

Pull In Case Of Emergency Gland
The recipient of this Mutation can activate this Mutation as a Reaction, once per short rest. When activated, the recipient adds +1d4 to any one Saving Throw.

Reaping Assault (self only) (Prerequisite: Mind Sliver Cantrip)
Once on each of your turns when you hit a creature with your Mind Sliver Cantrip, it must make a Wisdom Saving Throw, or fall Prone.

Spell Implant (self only)
Choose one 1st Level spell from any Class Spell list, and add it to your own.

Telepathic Assault (self only) (Prerequisite: Mind Sliver Cantrip)
When you cast Mind Sliver, add your Charisma modifier to the damage it deals on a hit.

Tentacle
If you hit an opponent with your Natural Weapon, they are Grappled.


Mutations List (Prerequisite 3rd Level, Effective Spell Level=2nd)

Caffeine Gland
The recipient no longer needs to sleep and can't be forced to sleep by any means. To gain the benefits of a long rest, they can spend all 8 hours doing light activity, such as keeping watch.

Homunculus Heart (self only) (Prerequisite: Must be able to cast Create Homunculus)
You no longer lose hit points when casting Create Homunculus. Instead, both it and you share Hit Dice/Hit Points and Saving Throws.

Homunculus Link (self only) (Prerequisite: Must be able to cast Create Homunculus)
You can speak through your Homunculus in your own voice, even though your Homunculus is normally incapable of speech. When you Cast a Spell with a range of touch, your Homunculus can deliver the spell as if it had cast the spell. Your Homunculus must be within 100 feet of you, and it must use its Reaction to deliver the spell when you cast it. If the spell requires an Attack roll, you use your Attack modifier for the roll.

Homunculus Lord (self only)
You can cast Create Homunculus 1/week without using a Spell Slot, but only as a Ritual.

Paranoia Is A Harsh Mistress (Self only)
You use your Intelligence Modifier instead of Strength or Dexterity for attack and damage rolls.

Pincers
The Recipient has advantage on attack rolls against any creature grappled by it.

Regenerative Gland (Self only)
Whenever you expend Hit Dice to heal during a Short Rest, treat any dice rolled to determine the hit points you regain as having rolled their maximum value for you.


Mutations List (Prerequisite 5th Level, Effective Spell Level=3rd)

Aberrant Smite
When the recipient successfully scores a critical hit on an opponent with it's Unarmed Strike or Natural Weapon, it does an additional 1d8 necrotic damage.

Adrenal Overload
The recipient is immune to being Frightened.

Improved Spell Implant (self only)
Choose one 3rd Level spell from any Class Spell list, and add it to your own.

Primordial Instinct
The recipient can attack with it's Unarmed Strike or Natural Weapon twice, instead of once, whenever they take the Attack action on their turn. This does not stack with Extra Attack.

Shark Gland
The recipient has advantage on melee attack rolls against any creature that doesn't have all its hit points.

Stink Gland
Any creature that starts its turn within 5 feet of the recipient of this Mutation must succeed on a Constitution saving throw or be poisoned until the start of the creature's next turn. On a successful saving throw, the creature is immune to the stench of the recipient for 1 hour. Save DC is 8 + recipient's Proficiency Bonus + recipient's Constitution Modifier.

Third Eye
The recipient of this Mutation gains the benefits of the See Invisibility spell.


Mutations List (Prerequisite 7th Level, Effective Spell Level=4th)

Beast Link (self only)
You can cast Dominate Beast once without expending a spell slot. You regain the ability to do so when you finish a long rest.

Blink Implants
The recipient of this Mutation can teleport up to 15 feet as a bonus action to an unoccupied space the creature can see. The creature must have occupied that space at some point during the current turn.

Improved Natural Weapon
The recipients Unarmed Strike and/or Natural Weapon gains a +1 Bonus to attack and damage rolls.

Increased Metabolism
The recipient of this Mutation has Advantage on Initiative rolls.

Psychic Implant (self only)
You can cast Charm Person once without expending a spell slot. You regain the ability to do so when you finish a long rest.

Summoning Cyst (self only)
You can cast Evard's Black Tentacles once without expending a spell slot or material components. You regain the ability to do so when you finish a long rest.


Mutations List (Prerequisite 9th Level, Effective Spell Level=5th)

Flee Consequences
The recipient of this Mutation can cast Far Step without expending a spell slot or material components once per Long Rest.

Greater Spell Implant (self only)
Choose one 5th Level spell from any Class Spell list, and add it to your own.

Proficiency
The recipient of this Mutation gains Advantage on one of the following types of Ability Checks: Strength (Athletics), Dexterity (Acrobatics), Dexterity (Stealth) or Wisdom (Perception).

Spider-Kin
The recipient of this Mutation gains the benefits of the Spider Climb spell.

Wings
The recipient of this Mutation gains a Flight speed of 60 feet.


Mutations List (Prerequisite 12th Level, Effective Spell Level=6th)

Elemental Implant
When the recipient of this Mutation hits a creature with it's Unarmed Strike or Natural Weapon, the creature takes extra damage equal to the recipients Constitution modifier (minimum 1). Choose one of the following Damage Types for the extra damage: Acid, Cold, Fire, Force, Lightning, Necrotic, Poison, Radiant or Thunder.

Failsafe Organs
The recipient of this Mutation stabilizes whenever they are dying at the start of their turn. In addition, whenever they roll a Hit Die to regain hit points, double the number of hit points it restores.

Filtration
The recipient of this Mutation can breathe normally in any environment, and they have advantage on saving throws made against harmful gases and vapors (such as Cloudkill and Stinking Cloud effects, inhaled poisons, and the breath weapons of some dragons)

Pager (Others only)
As a Bonus Action, you may teleport the recipient of this Mutation into the nearest unoccupied space close to you. The teleportation can be used a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, and all expended uses are restored when you finish a long rest. The recipient must be on the same Plane of Existence as you.

Protection
The recipient of this Mutation gains resistance to one type of damage.

Mutations List (Prerequisite 15th Level, Effective Spell Level=8th)

Bind Abomination (self only)
You can cast hold monster at will – targeting an aberration, monstrosity or ooze– without expending a spell slot or material components. You must finish a long rest before you can use this invocation on the same creature again.

Eldritch Implants
Your unarmed strikes, and any Natural Weapon you may have count as a magic weapon with a +3 bonus to its attack and damage rolls.

Mark
You permanently know where the recipient of this Mutation is, as per the Locate Creature spell.

Mind Blade Generator
The recipient of this Mutation can cast Shadow Blade at will, without expending a spell slot.

Physical Enhancement
The recipient of this mutation gains Advantage on one type of Saving Throw (choose one when imbuing it with this mutation).

[Bhu]

Working on the new spells now, should have the spell list post edited tonight or tomorrow.

[Bhu]

First subclass:


EPIMETHEAN
Epimetheans are obsessed with the idea that the Humanoid species are degenerating into barbarism. Their logical conclusion is that if they can turn Beasts into Humanoids, they can reverse that degeneration. In short, they're kooks who make animal people, and eventually develop a Gawd complex. Remember Marlon Brando in that bad remake of Dr. Moreau, with a bucket on his head? Yeah. That's them. Even other Screwball Mages tend to comment "Yeah, I know I have issues, but those guys...

EXPANDED SPELL LIST
At 1st Level you choose from an expanded list of spells when you learn a Screwball Mage spell. The following spells are added to the Screwball Mage spell list for you.

Spell Level Spells
1st: Beast Bond, Speak With Animals
2nd: Beast Sense, Summon Beast
3rd: Conjure Animals, Jagged Tooth*
4th: Beast Heart*, Locate Creature
5th: Commune With Nature, Slice and Dice*


PRESENCE OF THE MASTER
At 1st Level, you have learned the fine art of Intimidation (by necessity). As an action, you can cause each creature in a 10-foot cube originating from you to make a Wisdom saving throw against your Screwball Mage spell save DC. The creatures that fail their saving throws are all Frightened by you until the end of your next turn.

Once you use this feature, you can't use it again until you finish a short or long rest.

BEAST FRIENDS
At 6th Level, you may cast Humansculpting on one Beast. Once you use this feature, you can't use it again until you finish a short or long rest.

THE HOUSE OF PAIN
At 10th Level you may cast Synaptic Static once per short or long rest without using a spell slot or needing material components.

THE MASTERS GIFT
At 14th Level when you cast Enhancement on a Beast, you no longer need to concentrate on the spell. If you cast it a second time while the duration of the first spell hasn't ended, you must still concentrate on the second spell.

LORD OF THE BEAST FOLK
At 20th Level, any Class Abilities of yours, or spells that you can cast, that target Beasts may now also target Monstrosities you have created via Making Friends. Whenever you roll for Initiative and have no spell slots left, you regain one spell slot of any Level you can cast, but you can only use it to cast any spell you gain from this subclass, or one of the following: Charm Monster, Dominate Beast, Dominate Monster or Hold Monster.



JAGGED TOOTH

3rd Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V,
Duration: Concentration, up to 10 Minutes
Choose one creature within the spells range that has natural weapons. Attacks with those weapons score a Critical on a 19 or 20.

At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, you can target one additional creature for each slot level above 3rd.


BEAST HEART
4th Level Transmutation (Druid)
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 20 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
When you cast this spell, choose up to 3 creatures within the spells range (this can include yourself). The targets gain Advantage on Strength Checks and Saving Throws. Successful melee attacks by the spells recipients do an additional +1d6 damage.

At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 5th level or higher, you can target one additional creature for each slot level above 4th.

SLICE AND DICE
5th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 10 Minutes
Choose one creature within the spells range that has natural weapons. Attacks with those weapons do an additional die of damage for the duration of the spell. For example, if the target has a claw doing 1d6, it now does 2d6. If it does 2d4, it now does 3d4. If the spells recipient successfully scores a critical hit, it adds an extra die, and the subject is Incapacitated for 1 round.

At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 5th level or higher, you can target one additional creature for each slot level above 6th.

[Bhu]

the new monsters mentioned will be coming soon:

PROMETHEAN
Prometheans are obsessed with divining the nature of life and the soul, and spend their days trying to resurrect the dead, design bodies rich whackadoodles can transfer their brain into, awakening flesh golems (along with creating newer, more screwed up flesh golems), and usurp the place of the Gawds by creating life wholesale without their involvement. They often die in spectacular ways, either at the hands of their creation, or the local mob. As a result, Prometheans are more paranoid and twitchy than the average Screwball Mage. It's not uncommon for them to 'accidentally' rain fire in a large area while coincidentally fleeing.

EXPANDED SPELL LIST
At 1st you choose from an expanded list of spells when you learn a Screwball Mage spell. The following spells are added to the Screwball Mage spell list for you.

Spell Levels Spells
1st: False Life, Hellish Rebuke
2nd: Gentle Repose, Lesser Restoration
3rd: Revivify, Spirit Guardians
4th: Death Ward, Shadow of Moil
5th: Greater Restoration, Raise Dead

IGOR
At 1st Level, your mentor gives you your first in a long series of laboratory assistants. All of them named Igor. He'll be killed quickly enough, but no worries you'll learn to make your own via Making Friends at 3rd Level. All you need is a half ounce of protolife, and a dead Humanoid body no more than a day old.

The Igor is friendly to you and your companions and obeys your commands. See this creature's game statistics in the Igor stat block, which uses your proficiency bonus (PB) in several places. You determine the Igor's appearance. Most look 'off' somehow.

In combat, the Igor shares your initiative count, but it takes its turn immediately after yours. The only action it takes on its turn is the Dodge action, unless you take a bonus action on your turn to command it to take another action. That action can be one in its stat block or some other action. If you are incapacitated, the Igor can take any action of its choice, not just Dodge.

If the Igor is reduced to 0 hit points, you must create another one.

Igor
Medium Construct
Armor Class: 13 + PB (natural armor)
Hit Points: 5 + five times your screwball mage level
Speed: 30 ft.
Str: 16
Dex: 14
Con: 14
Int: 8
Wis: 12
Cha: 8
Damage Resistances: poison
Condition Immunities: charmed, poisoned
Senses: Darkvision 60 ft., passive perception 11
Languages: understands the languages you speak
Proficiency Bonus: equals your proficiency bonus
Abilities:
Proficiencies. The Igor has the same Armo, Weapon and Tool Proficiencies that you have.
Skill Proficiencies. The Igor gains your PB on the following skill checks: Wisdom (Medicine), and Dexterity (Stealth).
Actions:
Mace. Melee Weapon Attack: your melee attack modifier to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: (1d6 + PB) bludgeoning damage.
Bonus Actions:
Shock. When the Igor successfully hits with a melee attack, it may do an additional +2d6 Lightning damage. It may do this a number of times per long rest equal to your Proficiency Bonus.

REMOVED FROM NATURE
At 6th Level you no longer need to eat, drink, sleep or breathe due to self-experimentation. Although you still require rest to reduce exhaustion and still benefit from finishing short and long rests. You do not age, and are effectively immortal. You become Immune to Poison damage, and the Poisoned Condition.

RAISE FRIENDS
At 10th Level you can use Making Friends to create Constructs, but only to make the following: Flesh Golems, Advanced Flesh Golems, Dragonflesh Golems, Demonflesh Golems, Vampire Golems, Shark Golems, Bear Golems, Chicken Golems and Golhoon.

BRAIN TRANSPLANTATION
At 14th you can switch out the brains of any 2 living creatures of the same size. This requires a number of hours equal to half the CR of whichever participant has the highest CR (or Class Level if they don't have CR), and (500 x Challenge Rating/Level) Gold Pieces in alchemical compounds per participant, or a half ounce of protolife per 1000 GP instead. Each participant retains it's Intelligence, Wisdom and Charisma scores, as well as skill, tool, armor and weapon proficiencies (assuming the new body can use them). They also retain Class Abilities, or any Racial abilities that are strictly mental in nature. They gain the Strength, Dexterity and Constitution scores of the new body. If the new body is proficient in Strength, Dexterity or Constitution scores, that is retaine (the transferee also retains proficiency in any Intelligence, Wisdom or Charisma scores it had before the swap. Tansferees gain the Hit Dice/Hit Points, AC, Speed and Senses of the new body (Perception rolls are still based on their wisdom). The transferee also gains Abilities, Actions, Resistances and Immunities that are due to their new physical form.

NEW BODY
At 20th your Type changes to Construct, and you become Resistant to Bludgeoning, Piercing, and Slashing from Nonmagical Attacks that aren't Adamantine. You also become Immune to being Exhausted.

[Bhu]

new monsters listed coming soon

THE MENOITIOS
The Menoitios are obsessed with the origins of life, and clearly believe Oozes are the place to start their research.Blindly assuming their intelligence gives them one up on the Oozes, the Menoitios often die at the hands of their creations because they don't take the proper precautions. And then there are the 'goo girl' fans. They're pretty much looked down upon even by their brethren for their lack of caution.

EXPANDED SPELL LIST
At 1st Level you choose from an expanded list of spells when you learn a Screwball Mage spell. The following spells are added to the Screwball Mage spell list for you.

Spell Level Spells
1st: Arms of Hadar, Tasha's Caustic Brew
2nd: Enlarge/Reduce, Melf's Acid Arrow
3rd: Hunger of Hadar, Summon Blob*
4th: Conjure Oozes*, Evard's Black Tentacles
5th: Acid Sheath*, Crawling Darkness*

SPECIALTY OOZES
At 1st Level, you can use Making Friends to create new Oozes (you still need to be a Level appropriate to create something of their CR). The new Oozes include: Bloodbloater, Corrupture, Flesh Jelly, Flotsam Ooze, Reekmurk, Invisiblobs, Stunjellies, Flareaters, Dhour and Protein Polymorphs

SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND
At 6th Level you gain a blobby companion. The Blob is friendly to you and your companions and obeys your commands. See this creature's game statistics in the Blob stat block, which uses your proficiency bonus (PB) in several places. You determine the Blob's appearance.

In combat, the Blob shares your initiative count, but it takes its turn immediately after yours. The only action it takes on its turn is the Dodge action, unless you take a bonus action on your turn to command it to take another action. That action can be one in its stat block or some other action. If you are incapacitated, the Blob can take any action of its choice, not just Dodge.

If the Blob is reduced to 0 hit points, you must create another one. All you need is a half ounce of protolife.

Smol Blob
Small Ooze
Armor Class: 13 (Natural Armor)
Hit Points: 5 + five times your Screwball Mage level
Speed: 20 ft., Climb 20 ft.
Str: 14
Dex: 10
Con: 14
Int: 5
Wis: 10
Cha: 5
Damage Immunities: Acid
Condition Immunities: blinded, charmed, deafened, exhaustion, frightened, prone
Senses: Blindsight 60 ft. (blind beyond this radius), passive perception 10
Languages: understands the languages you speak
Proficiency Bonus: equals your bonus
Abilities:
Amorphous. The Blob can move through a space as narrow as 1 inch wide without squeezing.
Actions:
Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: your spell attack modifier to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: (1d6 + PB) acid damage.

OOZE IMPLANTS
At 10th Level you can graft a bit of jelly-like matter onto yourself and a number of willing creatures equal to your Proficiency Bonus. These individuals will not be attacked by Oozes, unless you use a Bonus Action to remove that protection or they attack the Ooze.

GELATINOUS STEED
At 14th Level, your Blob companion now uses the statblock below:

Big Blob
Large 0oze
Armor Class: 14 (Natural Armor)
Hit Points: 15 + five times your Screwball Mage level
Speed: 30 ft., Climb 30 ft.
Str: 19
Dex: 10
Con: 16
Int: 5
Wis: 10
Cha: 5
Damage Immunities: acid
Condition Immunities: blinded, charmed, deafened, exhaustion, frightened, prone
Senses: Blindsight 60 ft. (blind beyond this radius), passive perception 10+PB
Languages: understands the languages you speak
Proficiency Bonus: equals your bonus
Abilities:
Biggie Sized. The Blob takes up its entire space. Other creatures can enter the space, but a creature that does so is subjected to the Blob's Engulf and has disadvantage on the saving throw.
Creatures inside the Blob can be seen but have total cover. A creature within 5 feet of the Blob can take an action to pull a creature or object out of the Blob. Doing so requires a successful Strength check equal to your Spell Save DC, and the creature making the attempt takes 6(2d6) acid damage.
Actions:
Pseudopod. Melee Weapon Attack: your spell attack modifier to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: (2d6 + PB) acid damage.
Engulf. The Blob moves up to its speed. While doing so, it can enter Large or smaller creatures' spaces. Whenever the Blob enters a creature's space, the creature must make a Dexterity saving throw (DC is the same as your Spell Save DC). On a successful save, the creature can choose to be pushed 5 feet back or to the side of the Blob. A creature that chooses not to be pushed suffers the consequences of a failed saving throw. On a failed save, the Blob enters the creature's space, and the creature takes 6(2d6) acid damage and is engulfed. The engulfed creature can't breathe, is restrained, and takes 12(4d6) acid damage at the start of each of the Blob's turns. When the Blob moves, the engulfed creature moves with it. An engulfed creature can try to escape by taking an action to make a Strength check (Save DC is equal to your Spell Save DC). On a success, the creature escapes and enters a space of its choice within 5 feet of the Blob.

AMORPHOUS FORM
At 20th Level, you become partly ooze-like. You gain the following Condition Immunities: Exhaustion, Prone. You also become Resistant to Acid, Cold, Poison and Slashing damage.


SUMMON BLOB
3rd Level Conjuration
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 90 feet
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
You call forth a blob. It manifests in an unoccupied space that you can see within range. This corporeal form uses the Blob stat block. The creature disappears when it drop to 0 hit points or when the spell ends.

The creature is an ally to you and your companions. In combat, the creature shares your initiative count, but it takes its turn immediately after your. It obeys your verbal commands (no action required by you). If you don’t issue any, it takes the Dodge action and it uses its move to avoid danger.
At Higher Levels: When you cast the spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, use the higher level wherever the spell’s level appears on the stat block.

Blob
Medium Ooze
Armor Class: 11 + the level of the spell (natural armor)
Hit Points: 35 + 15 for each level of the spell above 3rd
Speed: 20 ft., Climb 20 ft.
Str: 16
Dex: 10
Con: 6
Int: 1
Wis: 6
Cha: 1
Damage Immunities: acid
Condition Immunities: blinded, charmed, deafened, exhaustion, frightened, prone
Senses: Blindsight 60 ft. (blind beyond this radius), passive perception 8
Languages: understands the languages you speak
Proficiency Bonus: equals your bonus
Abilities:
Amorphous. The Blob can move through a space as narrow as 1 inch wide without squeezing.
Actions:
Pseudopod. Melee Weapon Attack: your spell attack modifier to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: (1d6 + PB) bludgeoning damage plus acid damage equal to your spellcasting ability modifier.

CONJURE OOZES
4th Level Conjuration
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 60 ft.
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 Hour
You summon Oozes and appear in unoccupied spaces that you can see within range. Choose one of the following options for what appears:

One Ooze of challenge rating 2 or lower (Gelatinous Cube, Ochre Jelly)
Two Oozes of challenge rating 1 or lower (Invisiblob, Stunjelly)
Four Oozes of challenge rating 1/2 or lower (Gray Ooze)
Eight Oozes of challenge rating 1/4 or lower (Bloodbloater Swarm, Flotsam Ooze, Oblex Spawn)


Each Ooze disappears when it drops to 0 hit points or when the spell ends.

The summoned creatures are friendly to you and your companions. Roll initiative for the summoned creatures as a group, which has its own turns. They obey any verbal commands that you issue to them (no action required by you). If you don't issue any commands to them, they defend themselves from hostile creatures, but otherwise take no actions.

The GM has the creatures' statistics.
At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using certain higher-level spell slots, you choose one of the summoning options above, and more creatures appear: twice as many with a 5th-level slot, three times as many with a 7th-level slot, and four times as many with a 9th-level slot.

ACID SHEATH
5th Level Conjuration
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M (flask of acid)
Duration: Concentration, up to 10 Minutes
A cloud of acid surrounds your body for the duration. You can end the spell early by using an action to dismiss it. The cloud grants you resistance to acid damage. In addition, whenever a creature or object is within 5 feet of you it takes 3d8 acid damage (objects worn or carried by you are immune to this effect). Spells you cast that do Acid damage (other than this spell) while this spell is active do additional damage equal to your Proficiency Bonus.

At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell of 6th Level or higher, the spell does an additional 1d8 damage for every Level above 5th.

CRAWLING DARKNESS
5th Level Conjuration
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M (carving of a tentacled mass)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
Black tentacles wreathe your body until the spell ends, causing you to become heavily obscured to others. You gain Advantage to Grapple Checks, attack rolls made while Grappling, and Athletics (Climb) Checks.

Until the spell ends, you have immunity to being grappled or restrained, and Advantage on Strength (Athletics) Checks. In addition, whenever a creature within 10 feet of you hits you with an attack, the tentacles lash out at that creature, dealing it 4d8 necrotic damage.

[Bhu]

monsters forthcoming as usual

CULTIST OF THESSALAR
The Cultists are obsessed with continuing Thessalar's work with protolife. Especially making new Thessalmonsters. If anyone is going to make a threat to the world as we know it, it will be the Cultists. Seriously, they are some deranged critters. Look at that one over there with the Half Illithid children. Odds are he's amenable to brain eating.

EXPANDED SPELL LIST
At 1st Level you choose from an expanded list of spells when you learn a Screwball Mage spell. The following spells are added to the Screwball Mage spell list for you.

Spell Level Spells
1st: Spider Hand*, Tongue Tendrils*
2nd: Enhance Ability, Flexform*
3rd: Amorphous Form*, Aura of Vitality
4th: Summon Aberration, Vitriolic Sphere
5th: Flaying Tendrils*, Polymorphous Wrack*

THESSALFAMILIAR
At 1st Level, your mentor gives you your first 1/2 ounce of protolife to create a familiar.

The Familiar is friendly-ish to you and your companions and obeys your commands (mostly). See this creature's game statistics in the Thessalfamiliar stat block, which uses your proficiency bonus (PB) in several places. You determine the creature's appearance. Most look terrifying.

In combat, the Thessalfamiliar shares your initiative count, but it takes its turn immediately after yours. The only action it takes on its turn is the Dodge action, unless you take a bonus action on your turn to command it to take another action. That action can be one in its stat block or some other action. If you are incapacitated, the Thessalfamiliar can take any action of its choice, not just Dodge.

If the Thessalfamiliar is reduced to 0 hit points, you must create another one.


Thessalfamiliar
Tiny Aberration
Armor Class: 13 + PB (natural armor)
Hit Points: 5 + five times your screwball mage level
Speed: 20 ft., Climb 20 ft.
Str: 14
Dex: 16
Con: 14
Int: 8
Wis: 12
Cha: 8
Damage Resistances: acid, poison
Condition Immunities: poisoned
Senses: Darkvision 60 ft., passive perception 11
Languages: understands the languages you speak
Proficiency Bonus: equals your proficiency bonus
Abilities:
Telepathic Bond. While the Thessalfamiliar is on the same plane of existence as its master, it can magically convey what it senses to its master, and the two can communicate telepathically.
Regenerate. The Thessalfamiliar regains 2 hit points at the start of its turn if it has at least 1 hit point
Actions:
Pincer. Melee Weapon Attack: your melee attack modifier to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: (1d6 + PB) bludgeoning damage.
Bonus Actions:
Inject. When the Thessalfamiliar successfully hits with a melee attack, it may do an additional +2d6 Poison damage. It may do this a number of times per long rest equal to your Proficiency Bonus.

ABERRANT DIPLOMACY
At 6th Level you gain Advantage on Charisma (Deception or Persuasion) Checks made against Aberrations. Aberrations are also not immediately aggressive toward you, as they seem to sense you might be one of them.

THESSALMONSTERS
At 10th Level , you can use Making Friends to create new Aberrations (you still need to be a Level appropriate to create something of their CR). The new Aberrations include: Thessalmonsters and Gulguthhydras.

BODILY MUTATION
At 14th you become Immune to Acid and Poison damage, and immune to the Poisoned condition.

THESSALMAGE
At 20th Level you apply an ounce of protolife to your own form in an hour long ritual. You now regain 10 hit points at the start of your turn if you have at least 1 hit point. You can also spit a glob of acid out to a range of 60 feet as a ranged spell attack. You may do this a number of times per long rest equal to your Proficiency Bonus. This attack does 8d6 Acid damage on a successful hit.


Spider Hand
1st Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
As you cast this spell your hand splits from your arm and becomes a horrible, fleshy parody of a spider. You can see and hear anything it does, and it teleports back to your arm at the end of the spell. If it was brought to 0 hit points, the spell ends, it reappears, and you take 1d6 Necrotic damage.




Tongue Tendrils
1st Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M (snake tongue)
Duration: 1 Hour or until discharged
Your tongue becomes a powerful tendril that you may spit up to 30 feet away as an Action. This tendril wraps around a target, lashing it to something if possible. The tendril makes a grapple attack using your spellcasting ability modifier, dealing no damage but starting a grapple as a Small creature with a Strength score equal to your spellcasting ability score. If the tendril wins the grapple check, it wraps around a limb or whatever is appropriate for the foe, lashing it to any nearby object (if there is one). Each tendril has AC (10 + Proficiency Bonus), 10 hit points, and is considered an object. If the tendril can latch onto a nearby object as well, the target is Restrained until it can escape the Grapple (otherwise the tendril can move the target 5 feet per round). The caster may create a number of tendrils equal to your Proficiency Bonus, spitting each one as an action.

At the end of the spell's duration, the tendrils become bloody bits of organic matter.
At Higher Levels: When you cast the spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, you may spit one additional tendril per spell slot level above 1st.


Flexform
2nd Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M (small piece of gum resin)
Duration: Concentration, up to 10 Minutes
When you touch a creature, its form (including any gear, armor, and weapons) shifts and deforms according to its surroundings. This effect grants Advantage on rolls to Escape Grapple Checks or Dexterity (Acrobatics) Checks. As well, the subject can squeeze into a space 2 sizes smaller than normal with no penalties to movement, attack rolls, and saving throws. The subject is able to move freely through squares occupied by crea*tures of any size, but still can't end their move in it's space.


Amorphous Form
3rd Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: S, M (pinch of gelatin)
Duration: Concentration, up to 10 Minutes
The subject you touch and all its gear become amorphous and oozelike, absorbing the equipment into the new form. This new form is boneless and fluid, and gives the following benefits:

The subjects Type changes to Ooze for the duration of the spell.

Land speed drops to 20 feet, but you gain a climb and swim speed of 20 feet.

The subject becomes immune to the following conditions for the duration of the spell: Blinded, Charmed, Deafened, Exhaustion, Frightened, Prone.

The subject gains Blindsight 60 ft. (blind beyond this radius), but can't hear or see normally.

Amorphous: The subject can move through a space as narrow as 1 inch wide without squeezing.

Spider Climb. The subject can climb difficult surfaces, including upside down on ceilings, without needing to make an ability check.

The subject can't cast spells, nor can it use abilities requiring speech (it has no voice) for the duration of the spell. It cannot use tools or make skill checks requiring the use of hands.

The subject cannot wield weapons, and can only make unarmed strikes.


Flaying Tendrils
5th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
Your face sprouts tentacles similar to those of a Mindflayer. You gain a melee Tentacle Attack using your spellcasting ability modifier. It does 2d6 plus your spellcasting ability modifier psychic damage, and if the target is your Size or smaller it is considered Grappled (you may only Grapple one creature at a time). Escape DC is equal to your Spell Save DC. When it has a creature Grappled, all subsequent Tentacle attack against that creature does 4d10 Piercing damage if you hit successfully (and the Grapple is maintained).


Polymorphous Wrack
5th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 120 feet
Components: V, S, M (drop of quicksilver)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
This spell does not effect creatures with Immutable Form. All other targets spasm wildly as their body shifts and warps randomly. The target must make a Wisdom Save, or be Incapacitated for the duration of the spell. The target can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending the effect on itself on a success. If it fails, it is still Incapacitated and also takes 1d6 Necrotic damage.

[Bhu]

PAWN OF TIAMAT
The Cult of Tiamat has convinced you to use your protolife research to in building her armies. Said convincing ranges from seduction to blackmail to flattery. Sometimes they've even threatened you. As if you'd respond to that. Dragons are too ego-bound for their own good, and despite their vast physical power are easily manipulated. At least, you keep telling yourself this seeing as you're currently in Dragon jail.

EXPANDED SPELL LIST
At 1st Level you choose from an expanded list of spells when you learn a Screwball Mage spell. The following spells are added to the Screwball Mage spell list for you.

Spell Level Spells
1st: Absorb Elements, Chaos Bolt
2nd: Dragon's Breath, Warding Bond
3rd: Dragonskin*, Tiny Servant
4th: Mordenkainen's Private Sanctum, Voice of the Dragon*
5th: Summon Draconic Spirit, Unyielding Vigor of the Dragonlords*

DRAGONSPAWN FAMILIAR
At 1st Level, Tiamat gives you a familiar.

The Familiar is friendly-ish to you and your companions and obeys your commands (mostly). See this creature's game statistics in the Dragonspawn Familiar stat block, which uses your proficiency bonus (PB) in several places. You determine the creature's appearance. Most look terrifying.

In combat, the Dragonspawn Familiar shares your initiative count, but it takes its turn immediately after yours. The only action it takes on its turn is the Dodge action, unless you take a bonus action on your turn to command it to take another action. That action can be one in its stat block or some other action. If you are incapacitated, the Dragonspawn Familiar can take any action of its choice, not just Dodge.

If the Dragonspawn Familiar is reduced to 0 hit points, you must ask for another one, which arrives in 24 hours.

Dragonspawn Familiar
Tiny Dragon
Armor Class: 13 + PB (natural armor)
Hit Points: 5 + five times your screwball mage level
Speed: 20 ft.
Str: 14
Dex: 16
Con: 14
Int: 8
Wis: 12
Cha: 8
Damage Resistances: choose one: acid, cold, fire, lightning, poison
Condition Immunities: poisoned
Senses: Darkvision 60 ft., Blindsight 60 ft., passive perception 11
Languages: understands the languages you speak, and Draconic
Proficiency Bonus: equals your proficiency bonus
Abilities:
Telepathic Bond. While the Dragonspawn Familiar is on the same plane of existence as its master, it can magically convey what it senses to its master, and the two can communicate telepathically.
Actions:
Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: your melee attack modifier to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: (1d6 + PB) piercing damage.
Spit. Ranged Weapon Attack: your spell attack modifier to hit, range 10/40 ft., one target. Hit: (1d6 + PB) damage (type is the same damage type as the familiar is resistant to).

CHROMATIC DEFENSES
At 6th Level you can surround yourself with energy for 1 Minute as a Bonus Action. You may do this once per long rest. Choose one type of damage: acid, cold, fire, lightning, or poison. Any creature entering a square adjacent to you takes 4d4 damage of that type when they enter, and at the start of every turn they remain adjacent to you.

TIAMAT SPAWN
At 10th Level , you can use Making Friends to create new Dragons (you still need to be a Level appropriate to create something of their CR). The new Dragons include the various forms of Black, Green, Blue, Red, or White Dragonspawn.

DRACONIC WINGS
At 14th Level, you gain the ability to sprout a pair of dragon wings from your back, gaining a flying speed equal to your current land speed. You can create these wings as a bonus action on your turn. They last until you dismiss them as a bonus action on your turn.

You can't manifest your wings while wearing armor unless the armor is made to accommodate them, and clothing not made to accommodate your wings might be destroyed when you manifest them.

DRAGONSPAWN
At 20th Level you apply an ounce of protolife to your own form in an hour long ritual. Your Type permanently changes to Dragon, and you gain Immunity to one of the following damage types: acid, cold. fire, lightning or poison.


Dragonskin
3rd Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, M (a dragon scale)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
For the duration of the spell, your AC increases by +5. You also have Advantage on Saving Throws against one of the following damage types: acid, cold, fire, lightning, poison


Voice of the Dragon
4th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 10 Minutes
For the duration of the spell you gain Advantage on all Deception, Intimidation and Persuasion Checks.


Unyielding Vigor of the Dragonlords
5th Level Evocation
Casting Time: 1 Round
Range: Self
Components: V
Duration: Instantaneous
When this spell is cast you heal 6d6 plus your spellcasting ability modifier in hit points. You may also choose to sacrifice any one other spell slot, and heal an additional +1d6 hit points per Level of the spell slot you used. For example if you use two 5th Level spell slots, you heal 11d6 damage. If you are a Dragon, you heal d8's instead of d6's.

[Bhu]

THE PALLAS
The Pallas are obsessed with war, more specifically making the ultimate soldier.

EXPANDED SPELL LIST The Pallas are obsessed with war, more specifically making the ultimate soldier. Well it's really your patrons that are funding your research. And your mysterious assistant, a Goblin with an odd accent. A Goblin who seems to have an identical clone serving every single one of you. And who keeps giving them guns?

Spell Level Spells
1st: Bless, Heroism
2nd: Cordon of Arrows, Warding Bond
3rd: Mass Mage Armor*, Thornskin*
4th: Mass Enlarge/Reduce*, Stoneskin
5th: Circle of Power, Mass Fire Shield*

LEFTENANT VERRUKT
At 1st Level, you gain a Goblin named Leftenant Verrukt. No one knows where he comes from, or why all of you seem to have a clone of the same crazed Goblin soldier who talks endlessly about "the good old days, when we could just shoot people."

Verrukt is friendly-ish to you and your companions and obeys your commands (mostly). See this creature's game statistics in the Leftenant Verrukt stat block, which uses your proficiency bonus (PB) in several places. He is a scarred Goblin veteran in full military dress(for an army that doesn't exist).

In combat, Leftenant Verrukt shares your initiative count, but it takes its turn immediately after yours. The only action it takes on its turn is the Dodge action, unless you take a bonus action on your turn to command it to take another action. That action can be one in its stat block or some other action. If you are incapacitated, the Leftenant Verrukt can take any action of its choice, not just Dodge.

If Leftenant Verrukt is reduced to 0 hit points, his clone will suddenly pop out of the darkness sometime within the next 24 hours.

Leftenant Verrukt
Small Humanoid (Goblin)
Armor Class: 15 (Breastplate)
Hit Points: 10 + five times your Screwball Mage level
Speed: 30 ft.
Str: 10
Dex: 12
Con: 13
Int: 10
Wis: 10
Cha: 10
Saving Throws: Dex +1 plus PB, Con +1 plus PB
Skills: Athletics +0 plus PB, Perception +0 plus PB x 2
Senses: Darkvision 60 ft., passive perception 10+PB
Languages: understands the languages you speak, and speaks Common and Goblin
Proficiency Bonus: equals your bonus
Abilities:
Nimble Escape. Leftenant Verrukt can take the Disengage or Hide action as a bonus action on each of your turns.
Fury. If Leftenant Verrukt successfully attacks a target larger than himself he does one extra die of damage.
Actions:
Stabbity Device. Melee Weapon Attack: your spell attack modifier to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: (1d8 + PB) piercing damage.

SUPER SOLDIERS
At 6th Level, you can use Making Friends to create new Humanoids. The new Humanoids include the various forms of Super Soldier.

MILITARY TRAINING
At 10th Level you become proficient with Light and Medium Armor, and both you and Leftenant Verrukt permanently gain the benefits of any one Mutation with the Self Only limitation. This does not count against the number of mutations you may have as Usable.

WHO GAVE THE LEFTENANT A GUN...
At 14th Level, Leftenant Verrukt now uses the Statblock below:

Leftenant Verrukt
Small Humanoid (Goblin)
Armor Class: 15 (Breastplate)
Hit Points: 10 + five times your Screwball Mage level
Speed: 30 ft.
Str: 10
Dex: 14
Con: 14
Int: 10
Wis: 10
Cha: 10
Saving Throws: Dex +2 plus PB, Con +2 plus PB
Skills: Athletics +0 plus PB, Perception +0 plus PB x 2
Senses: Darkvision 60 ft., passive perception 10+PB
Languages: understands the languages you speak, and speaks Common and Goblin
Proficiency Bonus: equals your bonus
Abilities:
Nimble Escape. Leftenant Verrukt can take the Disengage or Hide action as a bonus action on each of your turns.
Fury. If Leftenant Verrukt successfully attacks a target larger than himself he does one extra die of damage.
Actions:
Stabbity Device. Melee Weapon Attack: your spell attack modifier to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: (1d8 + PB) piercing damage.
Gun. Ranged Weapon Attack: your spell attack modifier to hit, range 60 ft., one target you can see. Hit: 2d6 + PB force damage.

LORD OF WAR
At 20th Level, your Mutations Usable become the same as your Mutations Known. Your Mutations may be given to more than one creature, and you may give them more than one Mutation.



Mass Mage Armor
3rd Level Abjuration
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S, M (a ring of mail)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
This works like Mage Armor, but affects up to 6 creatures that you can see within range, and the unarmored AC it grants is 15 + Dexterity modifier.


Thornskin
3rd Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M (thorn)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
For the duration of the spell, a creature that grapples you or hits you with a melee attack while within 5 feet of you takes 1d10 piercing damage. Your unarmed strikes also do an additional 1d10 Piercing damage for the duration of the spell, and use your spellcasting ability modifier for attack rolls.


Mass Enlarge/Reduce
4th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S, M (pinch of powdered iron)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
This works exactly like Enlarge/Reduce, but affects up to 6 creatures that you can see within range.


Mass Fire Shield
5th Level Evocation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S, M (a gram of phosphorus)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
This works like Fire Shield, but affects up to 6 creatures that you can see within range.

[Bhu]

THE GIGANTES
The Gigantes are obsessed with continuing the works of the Mad Mystaran wizard Gargantua. Most of them are passionate Kaiju fans, who don't really think about the consequences of their actions. They also think of their creations as 'friends', despite that being more than mildly delusional. They tend to hook up with insanely wealthy madmen, as they're the only ones who can feed their 'friends'. The non-delusional ones make giant monsters as proof of concepts in their research, before turning them loose.

EXPANDED SPELL LIST
At 1st Level you choose from an expanded list of spells when you learn a Screwball Mage spell. The following spells are added to the Screwball Mage spell list for you.

Spell Level Spells
1st: Earth Tremor, Heroism
2nd: Enhance Ability, Enlarge Weapon*
3rd: Dolorous Blow*, Giant's Wrath*
4th: Summon Giant Apparition*, Trollshape*
5th: Bigby's Hand, Giant Beast*


PATH OF THE GARGANTUA
At 1st Level you can achieve Giant stature as a Bonus Action. This lasts 1 Minute, and can be used once per short or long rest. Your reach increases by 5 feet, and if you are smaller than Large, you become Large, along with anything you are wearing. If there isn’t enough room for you to become Large, your size doesn’t change. While Large you gain advantage on Strength Checks and Saving Throws.

GARGANTUAN STRENGTH
At 6th Level your melee attacks do +1d6 damage when you are Large or bigger. You may now use Path of the Gargantua twice per short or long rest.

WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE SPACE
At 10th Level, you can use making friends to create Gargantuas. You poor deluded fool.
HUGENESS
At 14th Level, when you use Path of the Gargantua, your size becomes Huge. Your melee attacks now do +2d6 damage.

GIANT AMONG MEN
At 20th Level, you may use Path of the Gargantua 4 times per short or long rest. While Large or Bigger your Armor Class improves by +2.

Enlarge Weapon
2nd Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
A melee weapon you hold doubles in size and weight for the spells duration, or until it leaves your hand. Weapons under the effect of another spell such as Enlarge/Reduce cannot be the target of this spell. You can wield the weapon normally despite it's new size. You add your Proficiency Bonus to the weapons damage for the duration of the spell.

Dolorous Blow
3rd Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
For the duration of the spell, the weapon you touch scores a critical hit on a 19 or 20.


Giant's Wrath
3rd Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Bonus Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M (pebble)
Duration: 1 Minute or until discharged
You touch a pouch holding up to 20 pebbles. When thrown by you anytime during the duration of this spell, these pebbles grow to the size of small boulders. They can be thrown at a range of 40/120 feet, and do 2d6 plus your spellcasting ability modifier Bludgeoning damage. The spells magic ends once you hit or miss with a thrown pebble.

At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, the number of pebbles you can affect with this spell increases by two for each slot level above 3rd.


Summon Giant
4th Level Conjuration
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 90 feet
Components: V, S, M (a runestone worth at least 400 gp)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
You utter harsh words, summoning one Giant. You choose the Giant’s type, which must be one of challenge rating 5 or lower, such as a Troll or a Hill Giant. The Giant appears in an unoccupied space you can see within range, and the Giant disappears when it drops to 0 hit points or when the spell ends.

Roll initiative for the Giant, which has its own turns. When you summon it and on each of your turns thereafter, you can issue a verbal command to it (requiring no action on your part), telling it what it must do on its next turn. If you issue no command, it spends its turn attacking any creature within reach that has attacked it.

At the end of each of the Giant’s turns, it makes a Charisma saving throw. On a failed save, the Giant continues to obey you. On a successful save, your control of the Giant ends for the rest of the duration, and the Giant spends its turns pursuing and attacking the nearest non-Giants to the best of its ability. If you stop concentrating on the spell before it reaches its full duration, an uncontrolled Giant doesn’t disappear for 1d6 rounds if it still has hit points.

As part of casting the spell, you can form a circle on the ground with the runestone used as a material component in the center. The circle is large enough to encompass your space. While the spell lasts, the summoned Giant can’t cross the circle or harm it, and it can’t target anyone within it. Using the material component in this manner consumes it when the spell ends.

At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 5th level or higher, the challenge rating increases by 1 for each slot level above 4th.


Trollshape
4th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
For the duration of the spell you become a Troll. The transformation lasts for the duration, or until you drop to 0 hit points or dies. Your game statistics, excluding mental ability scores, are replaced by the statistics of a Troll. You retain your alignment and personality.

You assume the hit points of your new form. When you revert to your normal form, you return to the number of hit points you had before you transformed. If you revert as a result of dropping to 0 hit points, any excess damage carries over to your normal form. As long as the excess damage doesn’t reduce your normal form to 0 hit points, it isn’t knocked unconscious.

You are limited in the actions you can perform by the nature of your new form, and you can’t cast spells.

Your gear melds into the new form. You can’t activate, use, wield, or otherwise benefit from any of your equipment.


Giant Beast
5th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 10 minutes
You transform up to ten goats, two boars, five eagles, or one crocodile within range into giant versions of their natural forms for the duration. A goat becomes a giant goat, a boar becomes a giant boar, an eagle becomes a giant eagle, and a crocodile becomes a giant crocodile.

Each creature obeys your verbal commands, and in combat, they act on your turn each round. The GM has the statistics for these creatures and resolves their actions and movement.

A creature remains in its giant size for the duration, until it drops to 0 hit points, or until you use an action to dismiss the effect on it.

[Bhu]

MALCANTHET'S SUGAR BABY
The Queen of Succubi has asked you to experiment on Demonkind with your experimental protolife, and you were too smitten to say no. It'll all end in fire and destruction of course, but hey, it should be a helluva party till then. On the down side you now have Demons pestering you for enhancements. And to sabotage other Demons' enhancements. And threatening you if you don't keep their secrets. And getting involved in their petty personal politics.

EXPANDED SPELL LIST
At 1st Level you choose from an expanded list of spells when you learn a Screwball Mage spell. The following spells are added to the Screwball Mage spell list for you.

Spell Level Spells
1st: Detect Evil and Good, Silvery Barbs
2nd: Demoncall*, Detect Thoughts
3rd: Abyssal Might*, Summon Lesser Demons
4th: Summon Greater Demon, Unholy Beast*
5th: Fiendform*, Remorseless Charm*

DEMONIC COMMUNICATION
At 1st you learn to speak Abyssal and Infernal. Additionally you gain Telepathy. Telepathy is a magical ability that allows you to communicate mentally with another creature within 60 feet. The contacted creature doesn’t need to share a language with you to communicate in this way with it, but it must be able to understand at least one language. A creature without telepathy can receive and respond to telepathic messages but can’t initiate or terminate a telepathic conversation.

You don’t need to see a contacted creature and can end the telepathic contact at any time. The contact is broken as soon as the you are no longer within range of the other creature or if you contact a different creature within range. You can initiate or terminate a telepathic conversation without using an action, but while you are incapacitated, you can’t initiate telepathic contact, and any current contact is terminated.

A creature within the area of an antimagic field or in any other location where magic doesn’t function can’t send or receive telepathic messages.

DEMON BUFFING
At 6th Level you can use Making Friends to create new Fiends, including Temps, Buffed Demons, and Pretty Demons.

THE FIRST RITE
At 10th Level a ritual you undergo with the Cult of Malcanthet transforms you. Your type changes to Fiend with the shapechanger tag. Additionally, you can use your action to polymorph into a Small or Medium humanoid, or back into your true form. While in Fiend form, you have resistance to Bludgeoning, Piercing, and Slashing damage. Any equipment you are wearing or carrying isn't transformed. You revert to your true form if you die.

THE SECOND RITE
At 14th you gain the following: Resistance to Cold, Fire, Lightning, and Poison damage.

THE HAWTNESS
At 20th Level your Charisma score increases by +4, and your maximum Charisma score is now 24.



Demoncall
2nd Level Divination
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 Hour, or until discharged
You add double your proficiency bonus on an Intelligence Check of your choice within the time limit of the spell.


Abyssal Might
4th Level Transmuttion
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M (a heart from a humanoid or animal sacrifice)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
For the duration of the spell, you gain proficiency on all Saving Throws against spells or magical effects, and use your spellcasting ability modifier with all attack rolls.


Unholy Beast
4th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
A Beast of your choice must make a Wisdom saving throw, or turn into a deformed, black eyed monstrosity with bone spurs jutting from it's body. The Beasts CR must be 2 or less. For the duration of the spell it's AC improves by +2, and it makes attacks using your spellcasting ability modifier + your proficiency bonus (unless it's own attack roll is already higher). It's successful attacks also do +1d6 necrotic damage. The creature obeys your verbal commands, and in combat, they act on your turn each round. A creature remains in this state for the duration, until it drops to 0 hit points, or until you use an action to dismiss the effect on it.

At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 6th level or higher, you can change a Beast of a higher CR. A 6th Level spell can affect Beasts of CR 4 or less. An 8th Level spell can affect Beasts of CR 6 or less.


Fiendform
5th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M (a bone from any Fiend)
Duration: Concentration, up to 10 Minutes
Except as noted here and above, this works exactly like the Polymorph spell. You can take the form of any Fiend whose CR is equal to 1/2 your Character Level or less, rounded down. You can speak, but do not gain any Spellcasting abilities of your new form.


Remorseless Charm
5th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Minute
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S, M (a picture of the target as a depraved lunatic)
Duration: Instantaneous
One creature of your choice must make a Wisdom saving throw, or become a cold, remorseless parody of themselves. They have no conscience, feel no guilt or pity, and can only find pleasure in the death or suffering of others. They will remain this way until they receive a Remove Curse or Dispel Evil and Good spell. Effectively their alignment becomes neutral evil or chaotic evil. At any time the target is presented with an option that can be solved with violence, they will do so unless it is obviously not in their best interests (i.e. there are too many witnesses to kill).

[Bhu]

THE THEMISANS
The Themisans are the 'Mad Gardener' set of Screwball Mages, specializing in plants and fungi. This does not make them any less dangerous or unstable than their cousins. In fact, accidentally inhaling strange spores and pollens might make them worse.


EXPANDED SPELL LIST
At 1st Level you choose from an expanded list of spells when you learn a Screwball Mage spell. The following spells are added to the Screwball Mage spell list for you.

Spell Level Spells
1st: Beget Bogun*, Entangle
2nd: Spike Growth, Spore Field*
3rd: Plant Growth, Speak With Plants
4th: Grasping Vine, Summon Plant*
5th: Tree Stride, Wrath of Nature

ROUGH NATURED
At 1st Level, whenever you cast a spell from your Expanded Spell List you may remove one disease from yourself, or heal (1d8 + your Charisma modifier) hit points.

THE GREEN AND GRAY
At 6th Level: you can use Making Friends to create new Plants, including the Ironmaw, Kelp Angler, Octopus Tree, Sporebat, Wizened Elder, Burrow Root, Fetid Fungus and Vinespawn.

IMPROVED SPELL
At 10th you may choose any spell from your Expanded Spell List. Once per long rest, you may cast it with an added or alternative effect:

Beget Bogun: When upcast as a 4th Level spell, you can summon a Mighty Bogun. If you opt to do this, the duration changes from Instantaneous to Concentration, up to 1 Hour.


Entangle: The Spell Save DC increases by +2.

Spike Growth: In addition to the normal effects, a creature who doesn't try to move through the spells area still takes 2d4 damage if they remain in the spells area for a full round.

Spore Field: If an opponent fails his Save he is also Blinded and heavily obscured for 1 round.

Plant Growth: If there is a Plant creature or creatures within the spells area of effect, they gain the benefits of the Enlarge Portion of the Enlarge/Reduce spell for a number of rounds equal to your Proficiency Bonus.

Speak With Plants: For the duration of the spell you have Telepathy with a range of 100 feet versus Plants only.

Grasping Vine: The range of this spell is doubled.

Summon Plants: The maximum CR of the creature you can summon improves by +1.

Tree Stride: Duration improves to Concentration, up to 1o Minutes.

Wrath of Nature: Instead of the Rocks option with this spell you may choose Spores: As a bonus action on your turn, you may command a fungus to explode. This does 3d6 Poison damage to anything in it's square, with another 3d6 to creatures in adjacent squares. Targets get a Constitution Saving Throw, and if it's successful the target takes half damage.

NEW DISCOVERY
At 14th you gain new options for your Emergency Spell Slots. Instead of the normal 6th Level spell, you may instead cast Druid Grove. Instead of the normal 7th Level spell, you may instead cast Animate Plants.*

FIBROUS BODY
At 20th Level you can't be blinded, deafened, frightened, or poisoned. You also gain Resistance to Bludgeoning, Piercing and Poison damage.




BEGET BOGUN
1st Level Conjuration (Ritual)
Casting Time: 1 hour
Range: 10 feet
Components: V, S, M (vegetation plus 10 GP worth of rare herbs and fungi)
Duration: Instantaneous
You animate a small figure made from vegetable matter into a creature known as a Bogun, that serves you in a manner similar to a Familiar. It's stats are identical to a Awakened Shrub. Your Bogun acts independently of you, but it always obeys your commands. In Combat, it rolls its own Initiative and acts on its own turn.

When the Bogun drops to 0 Hit Points, it disappears, leaving behind no physical form. It reappears after you cast this spell again.

While your Bogun is within 100 feet of you, you can communicate with it telepathically. Additionally, as an action, you can see through your Bogun's eyes and hear what it hears until the start of your next turn, gaining the benefits of any Special Senses that the Bogun has. During this time, you are deaf and blind with regard to your own Senses. You can't have more than one Bogun at a time.
At Higher Levels: If cast as a 2nd Level or higher spell, you create a Greater Bogun instead.



SPORE FIELD
2nd Level Conjuration
Casting Time: 1 ActionRange: 150 feet (20 foot radius)
Components: V, S, M (a mushroom)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
The ground within the spells area of effect becomes thickly overgrown with spore producing fungus, and becomes difficult terrain. Additionally this area gives Disadvantage to all Dexterity (Stealth) Checks made in it's area, as the mushrooms explode in a cloud of spores when stepped on. Creatures moving through the area must make a Constitution Save, or be Poisoned for as long as it remains within the spells area, plus one additional round. The transformation of the ground is camouflaged to look natural. Any creature that can’t see the area at the time the spell is cast must make a Wisdom (Perception) check against your spell save DC to recognize the terrain as hazardous before entering it.


SUMMON PLANT
4th Level Conjuration
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 60 feet
Components: V, S, M (seeds or spores in a platinum inlaid vial worth at least 400 gp)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 hour
You call forth a plant creature of challenge rating 5 or less. It manifests in an unoccupied space that you can see within range. The creature disappears when it drops to 0 hit points or when the spell ends.

The creature is an ally to you and your companions. In combat, the creature shares your initiative count, but it takes its turn immediately after yours. It obeys your verbal commands (no action required by you). If you don’t issue any, it take the Dodge action and uses its move to avoid danger.
At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 5th level or higher, the challenge rating increases by 1 for each slot level above 4th.


ANIMATE PLANTS
7th Level Transmutation (Ritual)
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 120 feet
Components: V
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
Plants come to life at your command. Choose two Large or 1 Huge nonmagical Plants within range. Each target animates and becomes a creature under your control until the spell ends or until reduced to 0 hit points.

As a bonus action, you can mentally command any creature you made with this spell if the creature is within 500 feet of you (if you control multiple creatures, you can command any or all of them at the same time, issuing the same command to each one). You decide what action the creature will take and where it will move during its next turn, or you can issue a general command, such as to guard a particular chamber or corridor. If you issue no commands, the creature only defends itself against hostile creatures. Once given an order, the creature continues to follow it until its task is complete.

An animated plant has an AC of 10 + the Level of the Spell (-1 if Huge due to low Dexterity), and it's hit points, attacks, Strength, and Dexterity are determined by its size. Its Constitution is 15 and its Intelligence and Wisdom are 4, and its Charisma is 3. Its speed is 30 feet (40 feet if Large or Huge). It has blindsight with a radius of 30 feet and is blind beyond that distance. When the animated plant drops to 0 hit points, it reverts to its original form, and any remaining damage carries over to its original form.

If you command a plant to attack, it can make a single melee attack against a creature within 5 feet of it. It makes a slam attack with an attack bonus and bludgeoning damage determined by its size. The GM might rule that a specific plant inflicts slashing or piercing damage based on its form. A Large Plant has 60 hit points (plus an additional 15 hp per Spell Level over 7th). A Huge Plant has 90 hit points (plus an additional 15 hp per Spell Level over 7th). Strength is 18 for a Large creature, and 23 for a Huge creature. Dexterity is 10 for a Large creature, and 8 for a Huge one. Attack is +8 to hit and does 2d10+4 damage for a Large creature. Attack is +10 to hit and does 2d12+6 damage for a Large creature.

Optionally, you can choose to partially animate every nearby plant. IF this option is chosen it has the effects of an Entangle spell within a 40 foot square area. Duration becomes 10 Minutes, no Concentration.

At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 8th level or higher, the creature you animate gains increased AC and Hit Points. If option two is taken, increase the area of effect by 10 square feet for every spell slot Level above 7th.