Cocaine Bear (2023)

[Bartmanhomer]

Hello everyone. Today I'm going to review the movie Cocaine Bear and give you my thoughts about it

Spoiler: My Thoughts On Cocaine Bear (2023)

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On Saturday I saw the movie Cocaine Bear. This movie is based on real life events. This movie is about a bear that eats cocaine and kills people due to the effects of cocaine. What I like about this movie is that it was funny and shocking. What I don't like about this movie is some of the scenes were slow-paced. I was laughing my behind off when the bear kills people due to the cocaine affecting the bear. I enjoy this movie so much. So I'll recommend this movie.

[Khedrac]

I found it a decent (but not great) dark comedy.

If you don't like dark comedies this is a film to avoid.

There is one major cringe scene very early on, however, for me, the film didn't use this the way I expected which made it a lot more acceptable in retrospect (and the film does make very good use of it, just not how I expected).

There is one post-credit scene between the initial credits and the cast list (I did not stay to see if there was a second). It is not that special, but it comes so soon it is worth waiting for.

Not all of the film makes sense, but some bits are excellent.

[Bartmanhomer]

I found it a decent (but not great) dark comedy.

If you don't like dark comedies this is a film to avoid.

There is one major cringe scene very early on, however, for me, the film didn't use this the way I expected which made it a lot more acceptable in retrospect (and the film does make very good use of it, just not how I expected).

There is one post-credit scene between the initial credits and the cast list (I did not stay to see if there was a second). It is not that special, but it comes so soon it is worth waiting for.

Not all of the film makes sense, but some bits are excellent.

This dark comedy movie that I enjoy so much.

[HolyDraconus]

I found it a decent (but not great) dark comedy.

If you don't like dark comedies this is a film to avoid.

There is one major cringe scene very early on, however, for me, the film didn't use this the way I expected which made it a lot more acceptable in retrospect (and the film does make very good use of it, just not how I expected).

There is one post-credit scene between the initial credits and the cast list (I did not stay to see if there was a second). It is not that special, but it comes so soon it is worth waiting for.

Not all of the film makes sense, but some bits are excellent.

There’s two of them. One sets up for a sequel as well, if that’s your thing.

The movie was stupid fun. It’s in the same vein as movies like velocipastor but tries to take itself more seriously, perhaps due to the big name cast. It can be a bit heavy with gore so if that’s not your thing well take it as a warning. If I’m being brutally honest, it’s a movie that should of been released as a streaming service video. Would watch it again when it eventually pops back up on one but isn’t totally worth a ticket price otherwise. 6/10

[Khedrac]

There’s two of them. One sets up for a sequel as well, if that’s your thing.

Thank-you for that bit of info.

[tomandtish]

I'll give it 7 out 0f 10. Reasonably funny, nice gore, and it did what it told me it was going to do. Think Sharknado, but better film quality than Asylum films and honestly a better plot.

[Sholos]

"Based on real life events" is a bit of an exaggeration. In real life, the bear just died shortly after ingesting the cocaine. Movie looks like the good kind of dark humor I could use; I'll probably try to see it at some point.

[Tyndmyr]

In real life, the bear just died shortly after ingesting the cocaine.

That is kind of the logical outcome of eating some 40-odd pounds of cocaine.

The movie is fun. Kind of crazy and incoherent, but honestly, nobody going into this sort of movie is expecting a thoughtful masterpiece.

[Traab]

"Based on real life events" is a bit of an exaggeration. In real life, the bear just died shortly after ingesting the cocaine. Movie looks like the good kind of dark humor I could use; I'll probably try to see it at some point.

Too be fair, based on real life events was probably also a joke, mocking the various other films that seriously claim it then tell a totally different story.

[Gnoman]

The parts with the bear attacking people were good fun. The rest of it left me kind of cold - instead of a single strong B-plot (and there was superb potential for building said B-plot), it felt like there were four different B-plots shoved in that turned into "just a bunch of stuff that happened".

[Tyndmyr]

The parts with the bear attacking people were good fun. The rest of it left me kind of cold - instead of a single strong B-plot (and there was superb potential for building said B-plot), it felt like there were four different B-plots shoved in that turned into "just a bunch of stuff that happened".

Yeah, the human parts were excessive and needlessly convoluted for no real purpose. The titular bear is why people showed up, not to care about some forest ranger's dodgy love life.

[The Patterner]

That is kind of the logical outcome of eating some 40-odd pounds of cocaine.

The movie is fun. Kind of crazy and incoherent, but honestly, nobody going into this sort of movie is expecting a thoughtful masterpiece.

I honestly think they solved that issue quite well by having the bear ingesting smaller quantities instance, but having it do it several different times over the course of the story.

[Gnoman]

Yeah, the human parts were excessive and needlessly convoluted for no real purpose. The titular bear is why people showed up, not to care about some forest ranger's dodgy love life.

Make the entire B-plot (which you need) about the drug dealer buddies and build that up, reduce the cop and park ranger to brief obstacles for same, and just have the bear eat the gang and/or the mom and kids (or, more reasonably, delete them). There's your B-plot - a buddy comedy about down-on-their-luck drug dealers that have to fight a bear for the drugs. Bear Wins. Fatality.

[Vinyadan]

I am more than a bit miffed by the fact that the film does not appear to feature Winnie the Pooh as the titular bear, as I had previously been led to believe.

[Khedrac]

I honestly think they solved that issue quite well by having the bear ingesting smaller quantities instance, but having it do it several different times over the course of the story.

Smaller quantites? I know very little about cocaine, but I would think one of those "bricks" would be enought o kill even a bear in fairly short order.

[TheSummoner]

I am more than a bit miffed by the fact that the film does not appear to feature Winnie the Pooh as the titular bear, as I had previously been led to believe.

Different movie. Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey is the one you're thinking of. It's low budget (and it shows at times), but it delivers what it promises. If a fairly standard slasher movie with the twist of Pooh and Piglet being the killers sounds like something you'd have fun with, then you probably will.

[The Patterner]

Smaller quantites? I know very little about cocaine, but I would think one of those "bricks" would be enought o kill even a bear in fairly short order.

The real bear consumed something like 40+ pounds in one go. So yes, this is smaller quantities than that.

I'm no expert on cocaine, nor how much of it a black bear could consume without dying, but I'd hazard a guess that the bear has a bigger chance of survival if it eats one brick rather than 20-40 of them.

Edit: Googled it, it was closer to 70 pounds and it takes longer for it to take effect if eaten.

Could not find any numbers on how much cocaine a bear (or human for that mater) could eat without having an immidiate fatal overdose.

[Grim Portent]

The real bear consumed something like 40+ pounds in one go. So yes, this is smaller quantities than that.

I'm no expert on cocaine, nor how much of it a black bear could consume without dying, but I'd hazard a guess that the bear has a bigger chance of survival if it eats one brick rather than 20-40 of them.

Edit: Googled it, it was closer to 70 pounds and it takes longer for it to take effect if eaten.

Could not find any numbers on how much cocaine a bear (or human for that mater) could eat without having an immidiate fatal overdose.

I think it's a pretty small number, a few grams is enough to kill human as I understand it, so I don't think it would take a pound, or even half a pound, to make a bear violently ill or die in very short order even if it's eaten rather than snorted. Eating it probably won't ever cause an immediate fatal overdose, just because it'll take a little while to enter the bloodstream.

Thinking about it, I don't know what a brick of cocaine is like texture wise, if it's tightly compressed or powders easily and so on, but I imagine a bear would probably inhale more than a little dust during the process of eating a brick, so chances are it'd be OD'ing from two directions.

Not very knowledgeable on drug toxicity mind you, so I could be in completely the wrong ballpark.


I might see if my brother and SiL are up for watching this when we have a dumb movie night. Seems like the sort of thing we could have fun with. Then again, I don't drink, and this might not be the sort of movie you're supposed to watch sober.

[Vinyadan]

Poisons work very differently between different mammals. Squirrels for example can eat mushrooms that would kill us. There's also other factors, like how absorption happens in the digestive tract, or differences in the barrier that protects the brain from chemicals and germs, and a lot more I would never think of. So I don't think we have much info about how much cocaine a black bear can eat before dying, unless some scientist has really been fooling around.

Different movie. Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey is the one you're thinking of. It's low budget (and it shows at times), but it delivers what it promises. If a fairly standard slasher movie with the twist of Pooh and Piglet being the killers sounds like something you'd have fun with, then you probably will.

Thanks, I had been wondering about that. I think something like that would need a pretty good parody angle, though, otherwise it can get annoying.

[TheSummoner]

Thanks, I had been wondering about that. I think something like that would need a pretty good parody angle, though, otherwise it can get annoying.

It's played completely straight. There's some meta humor in how ridiculous the scenario is, but Blood and Honey doesn't make any jokes about its own premise. Five girls rent a place in the woods to get away for a while and attract the attention of pair of murderous monsters. The monsters just happen to be Pooh and Piglet. It is a dumb movie, but it never pretends that it isn't. It gets surprisingly graphic considering the budget, though the low budget does show in a few places. Overall though, it's a fairly standard slasher movie. Girls in the woods. Murderers in the woods. People die. If you enjoy slasher movies and especially if you also enjoy absurdity, it'll deliver what it promises and is probably worth a watch.

For contrast, Cocaine Bear is very much a comedy first where a lot of people get killed by a bear. It has moments of suspense, but the humor is constant throughout. Blood and Honey is a slasher movie first and the only humor comes from how absurd it is. There are a few moments that I found hilarious, but they weren't played as punchlines in-film.

Spoiler: One particular moment

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The sheer absurdity of Pooh killing a guy by summoning a swarm of honeybees was probably the highlight for me.