BisectedBrioche's Brilliant Bread Random Banter Bthread #243

[Rater202]

Bad news: We could not find my favorite soda, a regional brand that outside of certain locations can only be found around this time of year, in the diet variety this year.

Good news: Got carrot cake.

[Peelee]

Why are peach hearts gummies coated with sugar crystals?

[LaZodiac]

Why are peach hearts gummies coated with sugar crystals?

A belief that you need the sugar crystals to make them taste good.

[Form]

Why are peach hearts gummies coated with sugar crystals?

It's candy, therefore more sugar == more better?

[Anonymouswizard]

It's candy, therefore more sugar == more better?

I guess some people never discovered licorice.

[Form]

I guess some people never discovered licorice.

Licorice root is great for pretending to smoke. I actually grab some from the local market from time to time. You can treat it the same way you'd treat a cigarette (though perhaps oddly enough I've never smoked), except for the setting on fire part and it doesn't give you cancer. Also good for getting into the mood of a hardboiled film-noir detective type of character. It might actually help smokers trying to quit with any finger fixation they might have, though not with the nicotine withdrawal I suppose.

[Peelee]

A belief that you need the sugar crystals to make them taste good.

But they already taste amazing. Even the low quality ones.

It's candy, therefore more sugar == more better?

But they're one of the only gummies that does that. Typically crystals on the outside of a candy are for a sour taste, and no other gummy in aware of have a sugar crystal coating. It's not that I dislike it, it's just odd.

[Anonymouswizard]

But they're one of the only guns that does that. Typically crystals on the outside of a candy are for a sour taste, and no other gummy in aware of have a sugar crystal coating. It's not that I dislike it, it's just odd.

Why am I shocked that Americans have edible firearms?

[Peelee]

Why am I shocked that Americans have edible firearms?

I was gonna run with that joke but it's hard to keep from getting real dark real fast.

[LaZodiac]

But they already taste amazing. Even the low quality ones.

Be that as it may, this is the reason why. If you've complaints take it up with the management. I don't make the hearts I just know what makes them beat

[Peelee]

Be that as it may, this is the reason why.

I'm not so sure it is though. The more i think of it the more i wonder if its a texture thing. In which cade, again, its odd that no othrr gummy does it.

[Rater202]

I was gonna run with that joke but it's hard to keep from getting real dark real fast.

...I think that was a joke on Southpark.

[LaZodiac]

I'm not so sure it is though. The more i think of it the more i wonder if its a texture thing. In which cade, again, its odd that no othrr gummy does it.

Texture is a part of taste! And honestly a lot of gummies do taste kinda weird and the flavour falls off after some chewing, so adding a bit of crystaline sugar to the thing helps keep it from becoming "a piece of rubber you have chosen to eat on purpose".

[Peelee]

...I think that was a joke on Southpark.

Dont know what you're referring to, but if its relevant "eating a gun" has been a euphemism for a long time.

Texture is a part of taste!

Texture is a part of enjoyment. Thats like saying smell is a part of taste. Its not, they're different, even though smell can affect taste.

[Rater202]

Dont know what you're referring to, but if its relevant "eating a gun" has been a euphemism for a long time.

I'm aware.

Having double-checked, there's an episode of Southpark where Cartman loses the ability to laugh and...

Well, one scene opens with him writing a note to his mother saying that he doesn't think he can face the world without a sense of humor while there's a pistol on the bed next to him and to please tell everyone why he won't be going to school anymore.

Then he sticks the gun in his mouth... And takes a bite out of it.

"Ps. Please buy me more chocolate guns, I am starting to run out. The kind with marshmallows inside, I do not like the peanut butter ones."

I could link the clip, since the scene doesn't have any violence, swearing, political humor, sex/nudity, or any of the other reasons why linking the clip would be against board rules but... That's a joke in rather poor taste and seeing it might trigger someone so I'm gonna err on the side of caution but "Cartman eats his gun" on youtube should take you right to it.

[Anonymouswizard]

I was gonna run with that joke but it's hard to keep from getting real dark real fast.

Oh yeah.

It helps if you imagine the gun made out of jelly and just flopping about everywhere.

[LaZodiac]

Texture is a part of enjoyment. Thats like saying smell is a part of taste. Its not, they're different, even though smell can affect taste.

I'd argue that texture, smell, and taste all feed into the enjoyment, which is unhelpfully also called "taste" in the cludgy english language.

[Rynjin]

Texture is a part of enjoyment. Thats like saying smell is a part of taste. Its not, they're different, even though smell can affect taste.

This is objectively incorrect. Our senses of taste and smell are inextricably linked, and listing them as different senses in the first place arguably came from a flawed understanding of the human body.

Smell is a bigger determiner of taste than your actual tastebuds are.

[Rater202]

....I think people are confusing "taste" with "flavor"

Unless I'm backward, "taste" is "sweet, salty, savory, sour, bitter, fatty, **** that hurts" and "flavor" is the result of taste and scent getting cross-wired in the brain when you process the taste and aroma of the food at the same time, resulting in a more complex sensation.

Like... Taste it what lets you recognize that something is bitter. But smell is how you tell the difference between delicious dark chocolate and nasty-ass black coffee.

[TaiLiu]

Still! Concern!

I have limited income available for commissions. Trust me, I'll get something more sun-related eventually.

Have you tried solving this problem by swallowing the Earth?

Public domain sun images here.

Apropos of nothing but i did the math and my agency's acceptance rate is 5.5%. Yale's, for reference, is 5.3%.

Less than two weeks until i go up for testing. Here's hoping i make the cut again.

Good luck!

[Mystic Muse]

Have you tried solving this problem by swallowing the Earth?

If I do that, there's no one available to commission!

[Peelee]

....I think people are confusing "taste" with "flavor"

Unless I'm backward, "taste" is "sweet, salty, savory, sour, bitter, fatty, **** that hurts" and "flavor" is the result of taste and scent getting cross-wired in the brain when you process the taste and aroma of the food at the same time, resulting in a more complex sensation.

Like... Taste it what lets you recognize that something is bitter. But smell is how you tell the difference between delicious dark chocolate and nasty-ass black coffee.

There is no such thing as delicious coffee.

[Rater202]

There is no such thing as delicious coffee.

...That was kind of my point.

[Mystic Muse]

There is no such thing as delicious coffee.

...That was kind of my point.

Neither of you are my friend any more.

[TaiLiu]

If I do that, there's no one available to commission!

Dang it, you're right!

[Rater202]

I was visiting some relatives in texas one time and we stopped at a Dairy Queen to catch a bite to eat. It happened to be right across the street from a farm raising Longhorn steer.

As I was eating a burger, I swear to god that one of them was looking at me and it knew.

[Peelee]

Neither of you are my friend any more.

But I leave more coffee for you!

Imean, coffee isn't necessarily bad. It's just not good. I've had it before, and I don't object to drinking it again. I just don't ever feel the desire to.

[Rater202]

Neither of you are my friend any more.

If not friend, then why friend-shaped?

[Lord Raziere]

If not friend, then why friend-shaped?

Idea: create optimal friend-shaped creature with optimal cuteness appearance.

Then make it the most deadly thing to ever exist. like the appearance of a fluffy dog-cat-bunny but completely evil and full of poison and other deadly stuff.

then drop it into some videogame where people will try to pet it and watch as it kills them.

[Keltest]

Idea: create optimal friend-shaped creature with optimal cuteness appearance.

Then make it the most deadly thing to ever exist. like the appearance of a fluffy dog-cat-bunny but completely evil and full of poison and other deadly stuff.

then drop it into some videogame where people will try to pet it and watch as it kills them.

Pretty sure Monty Python already had that idea.