How would a God describe himself when asked "What are you"?

[Entessa]

I'm pretty sure that there is actually a definitive answer no matter the god.

Just to be slight more specific, my players have asked this question when talking to a manifestation of Murder, Kazgaroth (https://forgottenrealms.fandom.com/wiki/Kazgaroth). So what I would answer them?

Edit: note that they already asked the "who are you". But they kept asking "What are you". Saying

I'm a t-rex god, kinda seems underwhelming.

So I'm wondering how kazgaroth would describe himself.

[Maat Mons]

"I am vengeance, I am the night…"

[Unoriginal]

I'm pretty sure that there is actually a definitive answer no matter the god.

Just to be slight more specific, my players have asked this question when talking to a manifestation of Murder, Kazgaroth (https://forgottenrealms.fandom.com/wiki/Kazgaroth). So what I would answer them?

Edit: note that they already asked the "who are you". But they kept asking "What are you". Saying

I'm a t-rex god, kinda seems underwhelming.

So I'm wondering how kazgaroth would describe himself.

"*What* am I, little mortals? Do not act as if we were not well-acquainted. I am the silent arrow toward the protected monarch, the heavy axe toward the helpless prisoner, the indifference of the powerful toward the weak's plights. I am the poison in the hand of the resentful spouse, the magic in the hand of the vengeful sorcerer, the law in the hand of the joyful tyrant. I am the first strike that felt on the first mortal to step out of line in their peers' eyes, and I'll be the last too. I am the adventurer's first recourse and the doctor's last.

I am murder, little mortals. Purely, simply, murder. And we finally meet in person."

[Vahnavoi]

"Your worst nightmare" would be a classic. So is "Your doom". Depending on how much sense of humour you want to give to your giant murder lizard, you could also go with "harmless little forest creature, wouldn't harm a fly".

[pothocboots]

For the pantheon I want to use in my next game.

Sun God: Benevolence itself, what do you need?

Murder Goddess:
<Ignores the question and either kills the party>
or
"Very fond of hippos, who's that Giff in the back there? Anyone going to introduce me?"

Earth God: ... (He's unfortunately dead)

Wind Goddess: Gone, bye!

Goddess of shadows: I'm the village crazy lady!

[LibraryOgre]

I'm pretty sure that there is actually a definitive answer no matter the god.

Just to be slight more specific, my players have asked this question when talking to a manifestation of Murder, Kazgaroth (https://forgottenrealms.fandom.com/wiki/Kazgaroth). So what I would answer them?

Edit: note that they already asked the "who are you". But they kept asking "What are you". Saying

I'm a t-rex god, kinda seems underwhelming.

So I'm wondering how kazgaroth would describe himself.

"I am the death of the Earthmother made manifest."

[KorvinStarmast]

How would a God describe himself when asked "What are you"?

Most deities in my worlds would respond in a Robert Deniro style accent:

You talkin' to me?!

[Buufreak]

"I am a portion of eternity, one which is expressed in immortality. A primal urge, a divine insight, into the astute ideal that might makes right. To think of me is to give me form and power, the likes of which do not fade quickly. The cat that hunts the mouse. The shepherd striking down the beast that attacks his flock. The swift knife against a throat, to silence screams and steal the purse. Inevitably made manifest, far sooner than time has promised. The ultimate frailty of flesh.

I am murder. And I am that which murders."

Is that too much for stabby-mc-dinosaur? I'm not the most lore savvy, and don't know the literary talents involved.

[DammitVictor]

Question to ask yourself: Do the gods in your campaign setting actually know how the cosmology of your setting works and their role within it?

They may or may not answer the query honestly, to the best of their own knowledge, but are they even capable of answering it correctly?

[oudeis]

I am the whisper that you bellow sermons to each other to drown out. The unmarked grave amidst the splendid carven monuments celebrating your own righteousness. The enemy of civilization and the eventual end of it; and yet the beginning of it as well, its seed and its spark, for what is civilization but an attempt to bind me and blind me and deny me my due and even my very existence? Fear of me has spurred you and your ancestors to heights otherwise beyond your imagination and your attainment. And yet, for all your striving, the seed will inevitably fail , and the spark will die, or flare into conflagration. And in that time, in the ashes of of your hopes, I will come to you and you shall know me for what I have always been.

And then you shall begin the cycle anew, as has happened again and again for more Epochs of this world than there are stars in the sky.

[AssociateGreen]

For an evil deity, I would fall back on a quote from Faust:

"I am part of that power which eternally wills evil and eternally works good."

It's a play on words. "Good" in this sense just means well/efficiently/etc.

[Biggus]

"I am carnage made flesh" (or murder, or death, or...)

[Mastikator]

"I am everyone I ever killed."

[Psyren]

I'd probably wax poetic.

"I am that which steals life, the violent delight that begets violent ends."

"I am the dagger, the sharpened stone, that unleashes an endless tide of blood."

"I am the cold wind that encounters the flickering candle... and snuffs it out."

I'd probably do something along those lines, but also with an allusive eye toward famous murderers throughout literature, mythology and history. Note that these don't have to be references the PCs are familiar with - a god of Murder might know about Jack the Ripper or Cain or Procrustes, even if the PCs don't have a clue who he's talking about, it'll just sound menacing.

[Darth Credence]

I'd go for mystery.
"What are you?"
"I am."
As far as the deity is concerned in my worlds, they are the important one. That goes for all of them. They are the pinnacle of existence, what makes the rest of existence work. They are beyond such questions as what they are, they simply are.

[VoxRationis]

I would think that a god of murder would illustratively kill someone by way of reply to such a query, but that might not make for satisfying play.

[wilphe]

[Leon]

Pointedly ignore, they are below a gods notice unless have proven worthy. They keep pestering it, it devours one and leaves

[Vyke]

"I'm Ray"

If not they may get shouted at by their friends.

[Witty Username]

'A wizard, obviously' - Fizban

'Hungry, now don't test my patience' - Tiamat

'A old knight that will help where they can' - Torm

"I am Stratos, God of Air, Supreme lord of the Heavens, bringer of storms, mover of the Firmament. Oh let's be honest shall we, in any halfway civilized world, I would be the only God" - Stratos as voiced by Tim Curry

[Vinyadan]

I
am
POWERFUUUUL!!!

(add storm sounds and flowerpots falling down from windowsills).

[gbaji]

Pointedly ignore, they are below a gods notice unless have proven worthy. They keep pestering it, it devours one and leaves

This is kinda my lean as well.

Why are the lowly mortal PCs in a position to directly address or question a god in the first place? IMO, any god lowly and physical and "mortal" enough to even notice the PCs asking the question, probably doesn't actually qualify as a god in any way other than a claimed title in the first place. And "real" gods, if they even noticed this gnat doing so, would likely soundly disagree with the claim being made.

This doesn't preclude powerful beings claiming such things. Even ones powerful enough to wipe the floor with an adventuring party. So... either that guy claiming to be a god is powerful enough that we may as well just humor him *or* he's a complete lune (and maybe we humor him anyway, "just in case"). But yeah... the liklihood of anything that bothers to give some sort of absolutist and poetic ("I am the blade in the dark...") kind of response, well.. isn't.

[Buufreak]

'A wizard, obviously' - Fizban

'Hungry, now don't test my patience' - Tiamat

'A old knight that will help where they can' - Torm

"I am Stratos, God of Air, Supreme lord of the Heavens, bringer of storms, mover of the Firmament. Oh let's be honest shall we, in any halfway civilized world, I would be the only God" - Stratos as voiced by Tim Curry

Specifically 80s Tim. Somewhere between Rocky Horror and Clue. All the fast tongue and lips, all the quips, all the sharp wits.

[Sapphire Guard]

"I am everyone I ever killed."

I'd like to tweak this to 'I am everyone you ever killed' with the implication somehow that he can unleash all their vengeful slain enemies on them if they don't tread carefully.

[Unoriginal]

This is kinda my lean as well.

Why are the lowly mortal PCs in a position to directly address or question a god in the first place? IMO, any god lowly and physical and "mortal" enough to even notice the PCs asking the question, probably doesn't actually qualify as a god in any way other than a claimed title in the first place. And "real" gods, if they even noticed this gnat doing so, would likely soundly disagree with the claim being made.

This doesn't preclude powerful beings claiming such things. Even ones powerful enough to wipe the floor with an adventuring party. So... either that guy claiming to be a god is powerful enough that we may as well just humor him *or* he's a complete lune (and maybe we humor him anyway, "just in case"). But yeah... the liklihood of anything that bothers to give some sort of absolutist and poetic ("I am the blade in the dark...") kind of response, well.. isn't.

In D&D and the Forgotten Realms, "god" is a type of entity, not an indicator of power.

[gbaji]

In D&D and the Forgotten Realms, "god" is a type of entity, not an indicator of power.

Which still doesn't counter the point that anyone who's actually bothering to answer the PCs question with some nonsense about how they are the "embodiment of <whatever>" almost certainly... isn't.

[wilphe]

I need your starship

[Unoriginal]

Which still doesn't counter the point that anyone who's actually bothering to answer the PCs question with some nonsense about how they are the "embodiment of <whatever>" almost certainly... isn't.

I don't follow the logic.

It's not nonsense if it's true.

If your point is "if it was true, they wouldn't ever be talking to the PCs, therefore it must be nonsense", then it's demonstratively not accurate. "The god shows off and makes a speech about what they are" is a common trope in D&D and in fantasy in general (not to mention actual real-life religions).

[Mastikator]

I'd like to tweak this to 'I am everyone you ever killed' with the implication somehow that he can unleash all their vengeful slain enemies on them if they don't tread carefully.

I really like this tweak. The god of murder draws power from murderers, and can give power to them, and can hold dominion over them. All to the extent that they murder.

[gbaji]

It's not nonsense if it's true.

True, but meaningless, since you can say that about anything. "I can lift 1000 lbs above my head!" is not nonsense if it's true.

Doesn't make the statement actually "true" though. Which is the point here.

If your point is "if it was true, they wouldn't ever be talking to the PCs, therefore it must be nonsense", then it's demonstratively not accurate. "The god shows off and makes a speech about what they are" is a common trope in D&D and in fantasy in general (not to mention actual real-life religions).

I get that it's a trope. But so are lots of other dumb things that characters in various media do. As a GM, I actively try to avoid having the NPCs in my games actually follow dumb tropes as much as possible. And this is absolutely one of them.

I still maintain that anyone who feels the need to "show off and make a speech about what they are" is not actually a god. They may be powerful, but not an actual deity. Or, at the very least, not a very powerful one, and certainly not one that actually "embodies" any sort of conceptual thing (like death, murder, darkness, light, whatever). They are, at the very best, some minor being, with some minor powers (likely granted to them by a higher being) in some minor area and probably act as some minor part of a larger pantheon, and can only operate in so much as an actual full on deity allows them to or something. The actual "god of death"? Doesn't need to say a thing. The actual "god of darkness". Ditto. Only the flunkies feel the need to do this.

So yeah. Even in games like D&D, where there may be a whole array of various "divine beings" with different levels of powers, the general rule still stands. Anyone spending their time bragging to you about their divine powers probably has a boss they report to.

EDIT: Eh... So just to answer the question. If I do put someone in my game saying something like this, it absolutely will be the game equivalent of some poser really hoping no one looks beyind the curtain. An actual god would either just ignore the PCs entirely, or have some underling give them instructions (and said underling may very well be pompous and whatnot, but never the actual deity itself).