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Thread: Bard Songs

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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

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    Question Bard Songs

    I'm playing a Bard in the latest campaign my friends and I are in. The DM says he'll award me with extra experience if I can come up with comical songs.

    Will you guys help a Bard out? I have little to no musical ability.

    I'm looking for more a parody. One like this I found on another site.

    Originally posted by Xarlen
    His god is Talona (My talona), goddess of Poison, Disease, Suffering, and Pain.

    Ooh my little faceless one, faceless one,
    When you gonna give me some pain, Talona?
    Ooh you make my tears to run, my tears to run
    Torture eating into my brain Talona

    Never gonna stop, give it up, such an evil mind
    I always shrivel up from a touch of the elder kind
    My-ee ey-ee by-ee ahee ah woo!
    Ma ma ma my Talona

    Come a little closer, over here
    Close enough to gouge out my eye, Talona
    Keep evisceratin' me, killin' me
    Cuttin' out the vein in my thigh, Talona

    Never gonna stop, give it up, such an evil mind
    I always shrivel up from a touch of the elder kind
    My-ee ey-ee by-ee ahee ah woo!
    Ma ma ma my Talona

    When ya gonna finish me, finish me
    Is it just a matter of time, Talona
    Is it a destiny, a destiny
    Or are you just destroying my mind, Talona

    Never gonna stop, give it up, such a primal mind
    I always shrivel up from a touch of the elder kind
    My-ee ey-ee by-ee ahee ah woo!
    Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma
    Myee ey-ee by-ee ahee ah woo!
    Ma ma ma my Talona
    Help me please.

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    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    OldWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Bard Songs

    Umm... well you could just look up the words to a love song and put the name of your god in the name slot. It's just like that episode of South Park where Cartman makes a christian rock band, but anyways. Thats about the best I can do, sorry
    Heal yourself * Hurt yourself * Judge yourself

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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

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    Default Re: Bard Songs

    Quote Originally Posted by Balkash View Post
    Umm... well you could just look up the words to a love song and put the name of your god in the name slot. It's just like that episode of South Park where Cartman makes a christian rock band, but anyways. Thats about the best I can do, sorry
    The body of Christ,
    Sleek, swimmer's body,
    All muscled up and toned.
    The body of Christ,
    O, Lord Almighty,
    I wish I could call it my own!

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    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    loves_to_laugh's Avatar

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    Default Re: Bard Songs

    When I played a bard, I usually made songs that involved the characters of my parties. I guess technically they wouldn't be considered uplifting but they were funny and involved the cliches of all the players.

    Here is an example of one of my songs...
    It was poking fun at our Monk named Fyn...

    "Fyn is attacked by a weasel,
    I wished I had an easel!
    His arms flew in rage
    He missed by a page!

    There is a weasel flying at me!
    This is bad from what I can see!

    He keeps hitting his limb,
    I make rhymes on a whim
    and with this I feel so courageous!"

    Now I wrote this in the time it took for my turn to happen again in initiative order and I just happened to write it down. Everyone but the monk thought it was hilarious.
    Anyone who says sunshine brings you happiness has never danced in the rain

    If you are the one to make this avatar, let me know! I don't remember who it is anymore

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    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Forrestfire's Avatar

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    Default Re: Bard Songs

    you could to a parody of "Brave Sir Robin" but with the party tank or meatshield in the name slot instead of sir robin.
    Lolth is so scary that even in TO, "having to be touched by Lolth" is recognized as a serious drawback for Lolth-touched.
    Ongoing Playtests:      The Avowed
    Handbooks:    Disregard Money, Acquire Buff Spells: Artificers without the Artifice E6 Plot Magic

    Avatar by Djinn in Tonic

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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

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    Default Re: Bard Songs

    We don't really have a tank. We have a feline-type rogue, a wild elf barbarian, an elf druid and a elf wizard. My character, a human bard, managed to bluff his way into leadership.

    Because I rolled high, my character is kinda stronger than the other characters. We're all first level and so the benefits of most classes hasn't come to fruition. Oh yeah, he is the only one who speaks goblin and a couple other tongues that no one knows. He is, by all accounts, the leader.

    Given the total nerdiness of the group, they know Monty Python and the Holy Grail up one side and down the other, this also includes other Monty Python songs, skits and the like. My DM kinda wants to hear something original.

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    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Kobold

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    Default Re: Bard Songs

    I played a bard in a 7th sea game several months ago. I brought my guitar for background music, but never did any actual songs. I had one planned, but the game end before I got to it. My character was a Castillian (think Spaniard) sailor who hit on anything that moved. Another PC was Gertrude the Eisen (German). She was the tank of the group. Anyway, here's the fragment of a song I had in mind, sung to the tune of Lola by The Kinks.

    I met her in a bar down in old Castille,
    Where you drink fine wine,
    And greet each other saying Hola,
    H-O-L-A Holaaaa,

    She walked up to me and she asked me to dance
    I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said Gertrude
    (deep breath, double speed) G-E-R-T-R-U-D-E Gertrude,

    I didn't have anything else planned beyond that, but it was all I needed. All I changed was Soho -> Castille, champagne -> fine wine, cola -> hola, and Lola -> Gertrude. Aside from spelling out Gertrude I pretty much just subbed in words that rhymed with the words from the song, and then changed the sentence leading up to it so it made sense. Shame I never got to play it.

    Anyway, just listen to a lot of music (preferably with strong lyrics) and think about game and you'll inevitably find songs with rhymes that can be swapped out for D&D.
    If you like what I have to say, please check out my GMing Blog where I discuss writing and roleplaying in greater depth.

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