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    Default The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.ph...Warhammer40000

    Warhammer 40000
    Gabe: Well, isn't the enemy of your enemy, like, your friend? Or whatever? Can't they team up?
    Tycho: Not exactly. In this setting, the enemy of your enemy is still a floating, greasy, armored brain.
    Gabe: Well, what about his enemy? Maybe you could be friends with him.
    Tycho: No, because that guy is a mechanical horror in an undying battle shell. He sails from world to world in a flying tomb, serving gods who eat hope.
    --Penny Arcade on Warhammer 40000.


    In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war!

    Only the insane have the strength to prosper. Only those who prosper can truly judge what is sane.

    Warhammer 40,000 is a tabletop strategy game by Games Workshop. Drawing heavily on their previous Warhammer Fantasy game, it began as "Warhammer In Space", but it has grown to include more Sci-Fi elements of its own.

    Thirty-eight thousand years in the future, the mighty Imperium of Mankind has spread across the galaxy, to discover that the galaxy is a hell that would make Hieronymous Bosch **** himself in terror, and that it has a hell. From without, the Imperium is assailed by alien monsters from the depths of space, nightmare death-machines and soulless daemons; from within, treachery, heresy, mindless incompetence and the festering taint of Chaos threaten to tear it apart.

    Warhammer 40,000 is not a happy place. Rather than just being Darker And Edgier, it paints itself black and hurls itself over the edge. The Imperium of Man is an oppressive, stark, and downright miserable place to live in where, for far too many people, living isn't something to do until you die, but something to do until something comes around and kills you in an unbelievably horrible way - quite probably someone on your own side. The Messiah has been locked up on life support for the past ten millennia, laid low by his most beloved son, and an incomprehensibly vast Church Militant commits hourly atrocities in his name.

    The problem is, as bad as the Imperium is, the other forces in the galaxy are generally far, far worse. Death is about the best you can hope for against the vast majority of the other major players in the battlefields of the 41st Millennium. The basic premise of 40k is as a constant, impossibly vast conflict between genocidal, xenocidal and in one case omnicidal civilisations, with every single weapon, ideology and creative piece of nastiness turned up to eleven. (The basic sidearm of a Space Marine is a fully automatic armour-piercing rocket-propelled grenade launcher. The Astronomican, a navigation aid, has the souls of thousands of psychic humans sacrificed to it every day, dying by inches to feed the machine. The faster-than-light travel used by most factions carries with it a good chance of being eaten by daemons.) There is no time for peace, no respite, no forgiveness; there is only war.

    The 40k universe is a playground of tropes and horrible things taken to their absolute extreme. Entire planets with populations of billions are lost due to rounding errors in tax returns. Orders of capricious, fanatical, genetically engineered Super Soldier Knights Templar serve as the Imperium's special forces, while its regular armies have for the last ten millennia been enjoying a galaxy-spanning re-enactment of the Great War, with lasers. The ancient and debased manipulator-race contrive wars that see billions dead; their depraved cousins cannot live without torturing numberless innocents to in unimaginably horrible ways. There's a Bug Swarm trying to eat everything in the galaxy, a light-years wide hole in reality through which countless daemons and corrupted super-soldiers periodically attempt to destroy the universe, and an entire civilisation of undying Omnicidal Maniacs serving their star-god masters' desire to exterminate all living creatures, everything down to the last bacterium. Everywhere you go, there's the genetically-engineered survivor warrior species that's infesting every corner of the galaxy and cheerfully trying to kill everything else in the galaxy because it's literally hard-wired into their genetic code. The closest thing to the good guys you can find in this setting is a tiny alien empire sandwiched between all the other factions, and they have a thing for forcing new subjects into their empire through orbital bombardment, sterilization, and concentration camps.

    As well as the game itself and its rulebooks, faction-specific, setting-specific and campaign sourcebooks, 40k has spawned a range of spinoff games and publications. Over sixty 40k novels and short story anthologies are published by the Black Library, a subsidiary of Games Workshop (the makers of the tabletop board game), who also published the now out-of-print comic book Warhammer Monthly and short story magazine Inferno. Spinoff tabletop games exist such as the space combat game Battlefleet Gothic and large-scale strategy Epic 40,000. A small but growing number of 40k videogames have also been made, of which the most recent are Warhammer 40,000: Dawn Of War, a Real Time Strategy game for the PC, and Warhammer 40,000: Squad Command, a turn-based tactical game.
    I've LMAO at all the tropes listed in this article. Too many for me to quote them all, and it would be ever better for you to actually go to the link.
    Last edited by SolkaTruesilver; 2008-03-30 at 01:27 PM.

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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k Evar made:

    Ah, one more victim new user of TV Tropes. Enjoy it.


    More on topic, yeah, they do have a pretty good article on WH40k. The same can be said of a great many things on that site, though.
    Last edited by Bryn; 2008-03-30 at 01:26 PM.

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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    Not all in all totally accurate...
    "On some worlds, much of the population lives under downright dystopian conditions in a state of constant drudgery, monitoring, and oppression- on others, they live in a state reminiscent of Dark Ages Europe, on others still conditions akin to that of a modern First World nation, and on yet others the conditions are virtually utopian. And everywhere in-between and beyond. Likewise, populations vary in lots from being born on and living through scrounging about in barren polluted ash wastes and dank, filthy, and sunless underhives to residing in incomprehensible levels of opulence. On some planets, the typical citizen will have an average lifespan of twenty-five- on others, a hundred and five. Every world in the Imperium is socially and culturally unique, and conditions vary enormously from planet to planet, with very little uniformity and consistency in this respect. It is effectively impossible to generalize Imperial lifespans because of the enormous disparities between different populations and worlds. Almost every social and economic state imaginable exists somewhere in the Imperium. "
    -http://forums.relicnews.com/showthread.php?t=187126&page=3

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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    Quote Originally Posted by Talkkno View Post
    on others still conditions akin to that of a modern First World nation, and on yet others the conditions are virtually utopian.
    this is only true if there is a large amount of slave labor or it's a priest-world
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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    While what Talkkno says is true (although I'd suggest finding a better source), the planets that GW seem to focus on most seem to be the more dystopian ones, especially when they discuss hive worlds such as Necromunda and Armageddon. The Cities of Death book has a good bit on how horrible Imperial cities are to live in, for example. While that's not true for every planet that GW ever describes, it is an aspect of 40k that's commonly seen in the background, so you can see where the TV Tropes editor is coming from.

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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    Ayup. My summary of 40K to someone was "An example is the best way to explain it. There's a god of hope, and the god of freaking hope is evil."
    Quote Originally Posted by Thespianus View Post
    I fail to see how "No, that guy is too fat to be hurt by your fire" would make sense.

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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    So far as I can tell, the utopian planets in hte IoM are the result of the popluations of several neighboring planets being pressed into slavery, providing all the materials and labor for the one utopian planet. That planet get's special treatment because a guy who knew a guy who knew the Emporer died on that planet.
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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    Oh, hey, I wrote a bunch of that. (Did anyone notice where the "make Hieronymous Bosch **** himself in terror" line is... sincerely flattered from? No? Forget I said anything.)

    (And SurlySeraph, any objections to that line being added to the wiki? We can never have too many good quotes, and that one fits so damn well.)
    Last edited by LBO; 2008-03-30 at 03:52 PM.
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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    Go ahead. Anything for the sake of TV Tropes.

    Yes, and the Bosch line was awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by Thespianus View Post
    I fail to see how "No, that guy is too fat to be hurt by your fire" would make sense.

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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    Out of curiosity, which god of hope are we talking about here?
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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    Quote Originally Posted by Moff Chumley View Post
    Out of curiosity, which god of hope are we talking about here?
    That would be Tzeentch.
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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    Tzeentch, I believe, is listed as the god of hope, among many other titles.

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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    Thats a tad unfair, Tzeentch is also the god of a bunch of evil stuff.
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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    Does the world "fair" even exist in WH40K?

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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    Sure, the Tau give everybody a fair chance to join the Greater Good before cleansing them from whichever planet they are expanding to.
    Quote Originally Posted by PhoeKun View Post
    Baerdog: super genius.

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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    By "Greater Good" I'm pretty sure you mean "Mind Control for Tau", right?

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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    Quote Originally Posted by Rutee View Post
    By "Greater Good" I'm pretty sure you mean "Mind Control for Tau", right?
    That's Imperial Propaganda. The first world of Men to join the Greater Good, were willing and clear-minded who simply saw what was the best thing for them. Thanks to the Water Cast!

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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    Quote Originally Posted by Moff Chumley View Post
    Thats a tad unfair, Tzeentch is also the god of a bunch of evil stuff.
    You joking? Tzeentch is a manifestation of the emotion of hope, just as Nurgle is despair, Khorne is rage and Slaanesh is pleasure.
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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    Tau: Communists with Laser Guns.*

    *No. I don't care about how that is technically inaccurate. It's close enough, and it's funny.

    Edit: triple ninja'd
    Last edited by Dorizzit; 2008-03-30 at 05:11 PM.
    Truly awesome Ark Tamaeus avatar by Bryn. Full size version here.

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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    Quote Originally Posted by Dorizzit View Post
    Tau: Communists with Laser Guns.*

    *No. I don't care about how that is technically inaccurate. It's close enough, and it's funny.
    This is clearly an insult. I demand that you withdraw your statement, WITHOUT an edit! And say an apology to every Tau fan in the World!

    The Tau wield PULSE weapon!

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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    Here is the Tau Logic
    "We fight for the greater good, ergo anybody who fights against us is automatically AGAINST the greater good."
    Sounds reasonable, except that the Tau define the greater good as "What the tau want" Ergo, if the Tau want somthing to happen, it is the greater good.

    Their not so much evil as self-rightous to a massive level. At least the imperium dosn't delude itself as much as to it's goal of killing everything that isn't human, and then killing a good deal of the humans too just to be safe.
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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    Quote Originally Posted by LBO View Post
    You joking? Tzeentch is a manifestation of the emotion of hope, just as Nurgle is despair, Khorne is rage and Slaanesh is pleasure.
    None of the four great powers are limited to a single idea (although Khorne is pretty close and Slanesh's other stuff tends to get buried under the 'decadent hedonism' bit.) Tzeentch in particular is also associated with change (mutation), magic, and planning (conspiracy.) Most of those are admittedly fairly neutral in and of themselves- in a less Black and Vorpal setting, he'd be redeemable or even a force of good. As is, he's just even more insidious than the other three because even the rare positive event can feed into him.

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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    Quote Originally Posted by SolkaTruesilver View Post
    That's Imperial Propaganda. The first world of Men to join the Greater Good, were willing and clear-minded who simply saw what was the best thing for them. Thanks to the Water Cast!
    I just wanted to say I like Tau very much, mostly for two reasons:

    1. They're the closest what you have in WH40K to good.
    2. Coolest mecha.

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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    Where, just so we know, does it state that Tau have concentration camps? I'm not debating it, I just want to know.
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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    Quote Originally Posted by Tengu View Post
    I just wanted to say I like Tau very much, mostly for two reasons:

    1. They're the closest what you have in WH40K to good.
    2. Coolest mecha.
    In before BAWWWing.

    I like the Tau, but I find orks to be the most fun - every other faction has some complicated explanation for why what they're doing is the true way. Orks? Orks just like fightin' and lootin'!

    WAAAGHH!

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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    See, this is why I prefer the orks. They're the only sentient race who are completely free of hypocrisy and deception.
    "Once you go scaly, you'll be back daily!"

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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    Quote Originally Posted by Moff Chumley View Post
    Where, just so we know, does it state that Tau have concentration camps? I'm not debating it, I just want to know.
    "Re-education camps." Depends if you count DoW as canon (I do, not that there's exactly such a thing as "coherent 40k canon", that's the POINT), but certainly captures the more recent flavour of the Tau (anyone else think Codex: Tau Empire made them a lot meaner?)
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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    Quote Originally Posted by Gorbash Kazdar View Post
    In before BAWWWing.

    I like the Tau, but I find orks to be the most fun - every other faction has some complicated explanation for why what they're doing is the true way. Orks? Orks just like fightin' and lootin'!

    WAAAGHH!
    Gorbash has just explained the exact reasons why I play Orks. Of course, that won't stop me from throwing in some quote from the Codex anyway.

    "Orkses never lose a battle. If we win we win, if we die we die fightin' so it don't count. If we runs for it we don't die neither, cos we can come back for anuvver go, see!"
    -Commonly held Ork view of warfare

    "The Orks are the pinnacle of creation. For them, the great struggle is won. The have evolved a society which knows no stress or angst. Who are we to judge them? We Eldar who have failed, or the Humans, on the the road to ruin in their turn? And why? Because we sought answers to questions that an Ork wouldn't even bother to ask! We see a culture that is strong and despise it as crude."
    -Uthan the Perverse, Eldar Philosopher
    Quote Originally Posted by PhoeKun View Post
    Baerdog: super genius.

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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    Yeah, pretty much. But hey, if I'm an imperial citizen, if I've got the choice between a fairly dogmatic society that treats me as slightly less than equal, but still just lets me live as long as I'm producing, and a dogmatic faction that will kill me if I so much as think the wrong thing, I'll go with the one that lets me live. They'd be the villains in most campaigns, but they're the closest things to heroes here.

    On two related notes- there's a new 40K roleplay game out- Dark Heresy. Quite fun, even if options are a bit limited and random character generation can screw you over- my character died spectacularly. His head got cut clean off, flying away. The blood that spurted from my neck got into the eyes of the guy who attacked me and blinded him for a round against my ally. Who was converted to my side with a cry of "He's with the mutant! Get him!" Very, very fun time.

    I also had a tournament today. Lost all 3 games. My Mech Tau do not like Necrons. Glancing on a 6 killed all three of my hammerheads before they could do anything- as long as they could glance my head, it couldn't shoot for a turn, there wasn't enough cover, and every single gun in his army could hurt me. I lost one game because I held my firebase for one turn too long, but that's another story entirely. Still, I never had gotten a chance to play before, so it was fun, and I learned quite a bit. Hopefully I'll have some better luck next time. (though really, the tournament was stacked against me- little terrain when all my units are fairly squishy, bad, bad luck on the dice- my hammerheads killed A. Inquisitor Kazamarov (that one was fun. He multi-melta'd my commander oneshot, so I gave him a railgun to the face in return) B. Immobilized a Monolith C. Killed a heavy destroyer and put a wound on a tomb spyder. That was it. My heads dropped like flies to the 'crons, but the worst was against the guy with Kazamarov- a sisters player whose exorcist one-shotted the hammerhead I had facing it. Had I killed that, I would have been much better off. I really had no cover, and my army list wasn't the best it could have been- I went a little heavy on the upgrades to make my army match the point cost. And I'm sure you don't want to hear my tired rationalizations, so I'll end now.)
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    Default Re: The best Warhammer 40k description Evar made:

    I like the Eldar best personally. I'm totally shallow enough to admit that it's because I dig the aesthetic and the Fall from Pride trope that they've gone through. In a world of Black n' Gray morality trying to depress everyone, why should I concern myself with the rest? I play games to have fun :P

    Dark Heresy is Hilarious though. The delivery is just so blatantly tongue in cheek that you can't help but laugh.
    Last edited by Rutee; 2008-03-30 at 06:29 PM.

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