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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Primal Fury's Avatar

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    Default PC/NPC/BBEG Intro

    I've been working on an intro for an NPC, they could be an ally, or even a PC if i feel so inclined. and if i tweak a few things, they could even be a BBEG.

    So tell me what you think:

    After about half an hour of waiting, the bartender finally brings your drink. It’s cool and good. All of a sudden, you fill an unnatural chill run up and down your spine. You can tell that just about everyone in the tavern can feel the same thing. You look around to see what could be causing such a sensation. You see a young, attractive nun standing in the doorway. She has a confident, almost arrogant grin on her face. She’s looking directly at you with eyes full of primal hunger. She walks across the room in a way befitting her apparent position. It doesn’t seem like anyone wants to get too close to her, moving themselves, even chairs and tables out of her way. You try and act like you didn't notice her, hoping you’re not the one she’s looking for. She takes a seat next to you and waits for you to look at her. When she realizes that you won’t, she sighs, leans over, and whispers in your ear with a voice that is playful, yet somehow ominous: “Have you heard the good news?” You suddenly wish you had stopped at the next town over.

    Well?

    EDIT: oh and before you ask, no, i'm not going to tell you what it is, this is just a generic intro i'd like to have evaluated. Thank you.
    Last edited by Primal Fury; 2008-04-13 at 06:13 PM.
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  2. - Top - End - #2
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Crow's Avatar

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    Default Re: PC/NPC/BBEG Intro

    Is this for a play-by-post game? If not, you'll be talking way too much. More than likely, your players will cut you off before you're anywhere near finishing with it.
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    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Mewtarthio's Avatar

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    Default Re: PC/NPC/BBEG Intro

    Before you instill people with supernatural terror, it's good form to call for a Will save. People with good rolls can be told they feel vaguely unnerved. Normally, emotional reactions are left to the players to decide.

    Also, for some reason your description makes me think of Bridget. It's really weird; I haven't even played Guilty Gear.
    Quote Originally Posted by Winterwind View Post
    Mewtarthio, you have scared my brain into hiding, a trembling, broken shadow of a thing, cowering somewhere in the soothing darkness and singing nursery rhymes in the hope of obscuring the Lovecraftian facts you so boldly brought into daylight.

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    FlyMolo's Avatar

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    Default Re: PC/NPC/BBEG Intro

    It's spooky, but I don't get it.

    Sexy evil nurse?

    Any two of those, but all three at once is a bit weird.
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  5. - Top - End - #5
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Mewtarthio's Avatar

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    Default Re: PC/NPC/BBEG Intro

    Quote Originally Posted by FlyMolo View Post
    It's spooky, but I don't get it.

    Sexy evil nurse?
    I think it's supposed to be "inexplicably scary nun."
    Quote Originally Posted by Winterwind View Post
    Mewtarthio, you have scared my brain into hiding, a trembling, broken shadow of a thing, cowering somewhere in the soothing darkness and singing nursery rhymes in the hope of obscuring the Lovecraftian facts you so boldly brought into daylight.

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Glyphic's Avatar

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    Default Re: PC/NPC/BBEG Intro

    Try to avoid telling people what they do/feel, unless it's some form of compulsion.

    Timing is also interesting. no way are your players going to sit still.
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  7. - Top - End - #7
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Primal Fury's Avatar

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    Default Re: PC/NPC/BBEG Intro

    heh, obviously you dont know the type of people i play with, the last guy who DM'ed spent a good two minutes describing how awsome his NPC's "assets" were, even drew a picture (not a very good one at that). so time is no real issue.

    it seems that the lot of you are confused about a few things, i guess i'll make it a little more clear. and that thing about bridget is really funny, cuz this is actually a dude. two words: Changeling Werewolf. that may seem strange, but after you've seen 5 different paladins, all of who have been half-vampires or were-bats, and never even used those abilities... well you get my point.

    and on the feeling of the ice in the spine, thats actually part of a class feature that grants... ah hell. the class is in my sig: Blasphemous Preacher. take a look if you want. it dosent actually create a fear effect, just a feeling of wrongness, which can manifest in many different ways.

    EDIT: and i see your point about making them feel things, thats really just because theres no actual players here, so i'm just putting in how an adventuring NPC might feel about this situation.

    and i wasnt really going for "Sexy". he's just fey-like in his behavior. being raised by a nymph will do that to you. and the fact that he preaches about the consumption of the multiverse by the primal forces of creation does tend creep people out, and talking about it with a smile on his face doesnt really make it any better.
    Last edited by Primal Fury; 2008-04-14 at 09:17 AM.
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