Schlock Mercenary

[Destro_Yersul]

I don't feel sorry for them. If they hadn't made Lota angry by stealing food out from under Lota's nose, the wouldn't have to deal with being puny.

And yeah, Ebby's line was great. But not my favourite Schlock line of all time. That would be 'there is no overkill. there is only "open fire" and "I need to re-load."'

[The Bushranger]

And yeah, Ebby's line was great. But not my favourite Schlock line of all time. That would be 'there is no overkill. there is only "open fire" and "I need to re-load."'

Oh yes, Rule 37...

But my all-time favourite is this one:

Schlock: I like these solo missions. I don't have to wait on an officer to say 'open fire'.
Narrator: Or 'cease fire'. Or 'AUUUUGH! Sargeant, COLLATERAL DAMAGE!!!!' for that matter...

[BRC]

*Sniff*
Poor Lota.

[Destro_Yersul]

Logic: bane of AI's everywhere.

Oh, and another awesome line:

Elf: "Come on team, let's go paint the undefended town a nice shade of 'BLAM'"

[Oracle_Hunter]

Ooo, best lines?

"This socialism of yours sounds like democracy. I hate it twice."

[Occasional Sage]

Favorite lines?

Li'l magic sleep gun,
you just don't have what I need.
... that ominous hummm.

[BRC]

"MON CANARD EST EN FUE!"
"Can we plead not guilty on the grounds of "That's not the way we did it"?"

[Oracle_Hunter]

"Can we plead not guilty on the grounds of "That's not the way we did it"?"

Oh yeah, that Arc had a lot of good lines

Also good:
"You cannot impress me with logical constructs, airtight arguments, or six-syllable words. Well... okay, you could impress me with them, but only if I knew they were yours."

[lord_khaine]

the comic is to long and good to find the best quote without going though the archives a couple of times, but i really think the recent
"How did it go?"
"Massey beat me up with big words"
was one of the better lines.

[Oracle_Hunter]

the comic is to long and good to find the best quote without going though the archives a couple of times, but i really think the recent
"How did it go?"
"Massey beat me up with big words"
was one of the better lines.

I have pretty good Archive-Fu; can you describe "the best quote" that you know?

[lord_khaine]

I have pretty good Archive-Fu; can you describe "the best quote" that you know?

no, its at least ½ a year since i last went though the archives, and there is just to many awesome lines to remember them all, but i do remember most of the best ones generaly involved either lawyers or Plasmaguns

but skimming the archives found these pearls.
"phillosophicaly speaking, there is no "safe" mode for a firearm. Thus the weapons i issue my men do not have any schmanzy-panzy Fire/save Swich.
-Oh well, they do now
thats not subtle. thats showing off"

still, there was also a awesome quote involving a koala dressed up like a cross between Bobba fett and Dr octopus, that i cant quite find.

[Oracle_Hunter]

still, there was also a awesome quote involving a koala dressed up like a cross between Bobba fett and Dr octopus, that i cant quite find.

Ask and you shall receive.

[Occasional Sage]

Man, that's a tactic that needs to be revisited.

Plasma-breathing amorph, anyone?

[Oracle_Hunter]

Man, that's a tactic that needs to be revisited.

Plasma-breathing amorph, anyone?

Be careful how you aim that though - if Schlock gets jostled, he's losing a good part of his mind.

Now, the Sawed-Off Schlockgun? That's good times!

[BRC]

Be careful how you aim that though - if Schlock gets jostled, he's losing a good part of his mind.

Now, the Sawed-Off Schlockgun? That's good times!

I really want to homebrew a Carbosillicate Amorph now.

[Oracle_Hunter]

I really want to homebrew a Carbosillicate Amorph now.

It'd be like LA +10; at-will polymorph, DR 20/plasma, Regeneration... anything else?

[The Bushranger]

Do it! Do it! Dooooooo itttttttt!!!

[BRC]

It'd be like LA +10; at-will polymorph, DR 20/plasma, Regeneration... anything else?

Ooze type (meaning immunity to sneak attacks, death attacks, ect), + fort save against diseases. Temporary hit points after eating, Int goes down by one point for every X damage taken.

[Occasional Sage]

Ooze type (meaning immunity to sneak attacks, death attacks, ect), + fort save against diseases. Temporary hit points after eating, Int goes down by one point for every X damage taken.

Gotta nerf the Polymorph some, Schlock doesn't change color when he shapes himself (and he's commented on it, it's not just a visual cue for the readers).

To model amorphs absorbing one another: perhaps double XP gain when you defeat another amorph in "hand-to-hand" combat? Perhaps if killing another amorph levels you, you must take their class/key feat without prereqs or multiclassing penalties?

[lord_khaine]

Ask and you shall receive.

ahh, yes, that is defently one of my all time favorite pages, its amazing how much of the fun centers around schlocks weapons, both the plasmacannon and his multicannons.

[Destro_Yersul]

Well, the comic is called Schlock Mercenary.

The good sergeant just happens to like guns.

[The Bushranger]

He obviously took Favored Enemy (Attorney Drone), too.

[lord_khaine]

ahh, found a new contender for most awesome quote.

http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20001213.html

Schlock; cant we grease the wheels with a little violence somewhere?
Targon; Violence isnt the answer.
Schlock; Medic! I think Targon is sick!.

[BRC]

I very very much pity that anchorman. He has angered the schlock.

[Oracle_Hunter]

I very very much pity that anchorman. He has angered the schlock.

I'm getting more a sense of confusion out of this interview.

Oh but yes, after Schlock gets chewed out by Masey (and possibly Tagon too) for making the company look even worse?

Mmm, yes, it's looking bad for Mr. Hannibal. And I think we all can remember what happened to the last man who angered Schlock.

[BRC]

I'm getting more a sense of confusion out of this interview.

Oh but yes, after Schlock gets chewed out by Masey (and possibly Tagon too) for making the company look even worse?

Mmm, yes, it's looking bad for Mr. Hannibal. And I think we all can remember what happened to the last man who angered Schlock.

Well they edited the footage, just like Ennsby warned they would. They took Schlock's answers, put in Hannibal asking questions.

[Oracle_Hunter]

Well they edited the footage, just like Ennsby warned they would. They took Schlock's answers, put in Hannibal asking questions.

aaaaand Schlock's in a killing mood. Good times

[lord_khaine]

in my archive search for the ultimative schlock quote i have found this new favorite.

Oops, i think some of these walls are structural

[John Campbell]

*reads through linked old strips*

Huh. Y'know, I kind of miss the Ob'enn. The arrogance, the pretentious ship names, the incongruous fuzziness...

Pre-Fleetmind Petey, too.

[Destro_Yersul]

Well, I've just bought books two through three. So I'll be able to relive the good ol' days even when the power is out. As soon as they arrive, that is.

Yes, I got a numbered sketch edition of book two. How could I not?

Also, I want to see what Shlock does to the news-guy. If said news-guy is lucky, Massey will beat Schlock up with big words again, and Schlock won't be able to try anything. If he's unlucky, I'm sensing an ommmmmminous hummmm in his future.