Shadowrun: The C.L.U.E. Files

[Gorbash Kazdar]

In one of the Shadowrun thread's that popped up, someone was looking for the famous C.L.U.E. Files. I have found a mirror of them here. I definitely recommend it to any Shadowrun players, and to any tabletop players in general. The files are a number of great tales of how badly players can screw themselves up, even when things appear straightforward.

[Swordguy]

Yay! You found them!

I also highly recommend these. If nothing else, they're freaking funny. They're also a great warning of what NOT to do when playing SR.

It's nice to see my submissions again. Casefiles #24 (last story) and 25 (the whole thing, though my girlfriend submitted the last one for me), if you're wondering.

[Emperor Tippy]

I recommend that you read these as well.

[Kyeudo]

Those were hilarious. Seriously, too much firepower + no morals + PCs = general disaster.

[LibraryOgre]

My personal favorite is Tombstone's story about picking up the joyboy... though the one where everyone decides to take naps is also great.

[Cainen]

It's nice to see my submissions again. Casefiles #24 (last story) and 25 (the whole thing, though my girlfriend submitted the last one for me), if you're wondering.

I don't know who you are, but you are now my hero. I was in tears from "SOMEBODY KILLED ABDUL!" I can't imagine how the rest of the table reacted to it.

[Swordguy]

I don't know who you are, but you are now my hero. I was in tears from "SOMEBODY KILLED ABDUL!" I can't imagine how the rest of the table reacted to it.

Honestly, the table got a bigger laugh out of the players letting go of the rope (with the exception of the guy tied to it). But, yes, that was a good moment.

I miss Shadowrun.

[Prustan]

Hilarious stuff. Man, I'm glad my brothers never came up with anything this bad. Stupidest thing they did was have the shaman Hellblast a guard dog kennel (and knock himself out with the drain - removing his influence from the rest of the run), while the Decker/Mage tried Poltergeisting a bulletproof window with the bullets from her just emptied Uzi clip, before trying to jump kick it with said Uzi strapped to her boot.

[Saph]

Every file I tried either registered as not there or came up with a server error. Are you sure the mirror works?

- Saph

[LibraryOgre]

Every file I tried either registered as not there or came up with a server error. Are you sure the mirror works?

- Saph

I just tried (9:13 Central, June 6th), and had no problem.

[Saph]

I've tried several files over a few hours. Trying to read the first file (http://web.archive.org/web/200512151...=casefile1.htm) gets either a database error, or this message:

Not in Archive.

The page you requested has not been archived. If the page is still available on the Internet, we will begin archiving it during our next crawl. Try another request or click here to search for all pages on showclue.php3?page=casefile1.htm/
See the FAQs for more info and help, or contact us."

Not sure what's up.

Ah, never mind. If you can read it, it's probably something to do with my browser or local area.

- Saph

[Swordguy]

I've tried several files over a few hours. Trying to read the first file (http://web.archive.org/web/200512151...=casefile1.htm) gets either a database error, or this message:



Not sure what's up.

Ah, never mind. If you can read it, it's probably something to do with my browser or local area.

- Saph

http://web.archive.org/web/200601061...=casefile1.htm

Try this. It's different than the URL you've got up there.

[Emperor Tippy]

I've tried several files over a few hours. Trying to read the first file (http://web.archive.org/web/200512151...=casefile1.htm) gets either a database error, or this message:



Not sure what's up.

Ah, never mind. If you can read it, it's probably something to do with my browser or local area.

- Saph

If you have noscript on you have to allow webarchive.org. I had the same problem until I realized that.

[Occasional Sage]

Man, Shadowrun, good times.

Had I known this C.L.U.E. site existed back in the mid nineties, I'd've sent in a submission or twenty.

Now, I'm gonna go reminisce about C.L.U.E.less runners trying to get their hands on a gallon of urine from a Great Western Dragon.

[LibraryOgre]

Man, Shadowrun, good times.

Had I known this C.L.U.E. site existed back in the mid nineties, I'd've sent in a submission or twenty.

Now, I'm gonna go reminisce about C.L.U.E.less runners trying to get their hands on a gallon of urine from a Great Western Dragon.

Don't reminisce alone... this is a story that should be shared.

[Occasional Sage]

Don't reminisce alone... this is a story that should be shared.

1. Enchanting in SR takes bizarre ingredients much of the time.
2. Dragons, by definition, are magically capable and aware.
3. Things that used to be part of a creature can be used as links in ritual magic to target the creature.

Taking those together, when an enchanter realized he needed Great Western urine to make his whateveritwas, he wisely decided not to ask politely (read: invite immolation) or try to get it himself (read: invite immolation). Instead, he decided to hire a team of runners.

Needless to say, several dumb plans were considered and discarded (One runner to another: "I'll give you Y50,000 to disguise yourself as a dragon toilet!"). That was thankfully skipped, and the eventual plan was rather smart: it involved using a Plumbing skillchip to divert the sewer pipes from the dragon's luxury estate into a holding tank.

The results were not quite what was intended. When every plumbing fixture erupted simultaneously, resulting in a fresh-sewage covered dragon and a rapidly flooding multi-million-newyen estate, the runners had no clue anything was wrong. Until the Very Suspicious dragon showed up astrally.

The resulting carnage rapidly became physical, after every astral link was severed through deactivation or detonation (remember the runners are currently in the sewers, and refer to the SR rule called "the chunky salsa effect"). It went from the sewer system to I-5 and into the air in some massive military copter the rigger owned, with the runners fleeing for their lives and the dragon trying to snuff them. The aerial battle eventually involved the security forces of IIRC three megacorps, as the chopper dodged around things like the Renraku arcology and AAMs went wild.

Of the five runners, two actually survived. For a while. One, a mid-grade hermetic initiate, had been taken down in the initial seconds of the fight and was picked up via his DocWagon Mage armband. The other, a rather smart troll street sam, survived the explosion of the copter and the resulting fall to the ground. Barely clinging to consciousness, with multiple broken bones and bleeding badly, he was picked up by the dragon and taken home as a very talkative toy. He survived about a week and a half.

After that toy broke, the dragon got a new and much more useful toy: his very own pet magician, bright and shiny from his hospital stay!

[Swordguy]

Occasional Sage:


I have no idea why, but I have more stories of amusing TPKs and player deaths out of Shadowrun than any 4 other systems I've run. And I've run Paranoia and a Toon/Call of Cthulhu crossover...

I think the physical act of creating a character sucks off about 50 player IQ that remains gone until the death of the character restores it.

[Saph]

I have no idea, but I have more stories of amusing TPKs and player deaths out of Shadowrun than any 4 other systems I've run. And I've run Paranoia and a Toon/Call of Cthulhu crossover...

Any good ones that aren't in the CLUE files already? Everyone loves a good TPK story. :P

- Saph

[Occasional Sage]

I have no idea, but I have more stories of amusing TPKs and player deaths out of Shadowrun than any 4 other systems I've run. And I've run Paranoia and a Toon/Call of Cthulhu crossover...

I think the physical act of creating a character sucks off about 50 player IQ that remains gone until the death of the character restores it.

At least 50. And it doesn't help that SR was designed for carnage-heavy playing, even if it was much better fun as a cloak-and-dagger game.

But... Toon/Cthulhu? That's brilliant and disturbing and fascinating and I want to play!

Any good ones that aren't in the CLUE files already? Everyone loves a good TPK story. :P

- Saph

Seconded! Player stupidity has not, in 25 years of gaming, ceased to vastly amuse me. Please share!