[VTM] Feedback on a One-off 'adventure' idea

[Xanos]

Hi guys.
I'm writing material for a VTM one-off, and I would very much like some feedback on whether this could be fun to try, or if it's aweful, failed and stupid.

The group (3-5 man) start out as mortal members of an American Special Forces squad, think SWAT in ninja-mode. They're trained to infiltrate, and are ready to counter almost anything they might meet.
The squad would be composed of a tactical leader (the NCO), two gunners/sharpshooters, a defuser/technician-type, and a medic (or something like that).
They'd start the campaign entering a large building of sorts, and having to get their way through different puzzles, starting out with standard bombs, locks and traps, and then things get occult (This is a Vampire game, after all). They'd have to push on, and at the end is a fight of overwhelming odds: I'm thinking a single or a group of Vampires, beating the squad and then taking them as Childes.
Waking up as Fledgeling Vampires, they'd have to first overcome what has happened, then figure out a solution to what they want to do with their unlives. There'd be little to none direct exposure to the Kindred world, other than of what they encouter; all knowledge of The Cammie and such, would have to come from the players seeking it out, not me having a random NPC-on-the-road tell them what and how.
The main plot would be, that their old employers have deemed the mission as a failure, and all the members MIA. Due to complications, they would get the Special Forces Organization after them, resulting in having them laying low and figure out how to take the Organization out.
They'd have to do raids to get blueprints of the Organizations' HQ, raids on armouries and what not they could want, and then do an attack on the Organization.
They'd have to battle their way through the place, it having a mix of puzzle-solving and combat through-out the place. To add a bit of mystique, the last few levels would have ghouls and Kindred as encounters, making the group wondering what the hell was going on.
The last battle would be a raid on the Organizations leader (quite possibly a Lasombra or the likes), and having a cliffhanger ending for a possible campaign start.


My questions to you dear Playgrounders, are:

Would this hold, at all?

Do you think it would be fun to play?

What kind of Clan would embrace Squad members attacking them?
I'm thinking Malkavian (4-6 Malks... Wooo...) or Brujah.

Feedback would be very much appreciated. Thank you!

[DeathQuaker]

Unless this is for the "GM mode" of the VtM video game that came out ages ago, you should ask for this to be moved to the "Gaming (d20 and General RPG)" forum. This is the not-RPG forum.

[Xanos]

Woops. Sorry

[KillianHawkeye]

Why do they have to attack the ASF Organization that they used to work for? I don't remember everything from VtM, but I didn't think getting turned destroyed all your former loyalties.

Although if the Organization is really run by vampires (what isn't?), it seems like the PCs team could have been intentionally sent into a trap to be made into vampires (because they were so awesome as humans already). So clan could be anything that fits with the employers. Aren't the Lasombra in the Sabbat? In that case, I'd suggest Assamite antitribu would be very appropriate.

Hmm... then maybe the PCs could go after the Organization for betraying them, but they'd have to find out they were behind it first. But it would at least explain why they're being hunted down (assuming they escaped from their sires somehow). Then they'd essentially be alone in the world, going against their sires and their former employers, and you know the Prince and other Camarilla vamps will come after them once they find out about unauthorized childer running about trying to kill their own sires. (Even more if the PCs are from a Sabbat clan.)

Yeah, that all sounds suitably World of Darkness to me. Have fun! If you need any more help with ideas, feel free to PM me or just post it.

[Xanos]

An Assamite antitribu could actually work out pretty well. (I love the Assamite, it's really an enjoyable and interesting clan and not as one-dimensional as people think).

Supposely, their employers could've send them out on a suicide-mission to get info on the Vampires, and the Vampires could embrace them and turn them on their former employers (showing them info on them already being MIA, even though the mission wasn't done and such).
Though, I want them to be -all- alone in the world, and not having their sires as helpers.
Their sires send them towards their former employers, pointing out that they were betrayed, helping them only because it helps them get rid of opponents, and then just leave the squad alone with their new existance.

I had thought of the Cammie turning their attention to them, sending a diplomat at first, and then perhaps assassins after them (fledelings or Ancillae, since the Elder Cammies are faaaaaar too busy, of course).