[Spell] "But the animal is inside out. And it exploded."

[Icewalker]

Inspiration (Warning, rather disgusting)

Baneful Teleport
Conjuration
Level: Sor/Wiz 8
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: Standard action
Range: Touch
Target: One touched creature
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Will negates, Fortitude Partial (see text)
Spell Resistance: Yes

This spell instantly transports a being touched to a designated destination, which may be as distant as one mile per caster level. Interplanar travel is not possible. Any objects carried by the target are teleported with them, as long as their weight doesn't exceed their maximum load.

You must be familiar with the destination: it can be a place you know well, either because you can currently see it, you've been there often, or you have used other means (such as scrying) to study the place for at least one hour.

The target makes an initial Will save to resist the teleport entirely.

As opposed to a normal teleport, Baneful Teleport takes the teleported creature through extradimensional spaces, miniscule passages and scathing vacuums, spitting them out on the other side horribly mangled. They take 1d8 damage per two caster levels and are sickened. On a successful Fortitude save, the damage is cut in half and the target is not sickened. If the damage from this spell exceeds their remaining hit points, they come out on the other side an unrecognizable horrific random mangled mess of organs, flesh and bone.

Material Component: A bit of pig or lizard organ.


[hr]
I totally didn't know until today that the spell Teleport Other disappeared sometime between 1st and 3rd edition. This makes for a fun alternative.

[Lyndworm]

Galaxy Quest is underrated. Nice work.

Zack

[Lappy9000]

That's.......................mean.

[mr.fizzypop]

That's.......................AWESOME!

[Hectonkhyres]

And it would be an even more awesome spell to houserule fumble.

[Vaynor]

Nice. Galaxy Quest rocks.

[SilentNight]

Nice, I really need to watch that again at some point. Nice job.

[DigoDragon]

I wonder what already sickened and horribbly mangled looking abberations would come out looking like with this spell?

*pop*
Fighter: "Hey, a school of guppies."
Wizard: "But I Baneful Teleported an Aboleth."

[Evil DM Mark3]

Nice spell. On a side note, my favourite part of the clip?

Spoiler

Show

I see you managed to get your shirt off.

[Waspinator]

What happens if you use the spell on a guy with no last name?

[thegurullamen]

What happens if you use the spell on a guy with no last name?

The polarity reverses and what was once inside the red-shirt's no-last-name's body is now on the outside. Hilarity ensues. (No, seriously, it does. Watch the movie if you don't believe me. Tony Shaloub is hilarious.)

[Leicontis]

There's actually a psionic power that's like a lower-level version of this called Dimension Twister. It's in Complete Psionic, and functions like Close-range Dimension Door, except that you teleport somebody else (Will negates) and they take something like 3d6 or 5d6 damage without augmentation. My GM houseruled I couldn't teleport them to max range straight up :(

[chiasaur11]

The polarity reverses and what was once inside the red-shirt's no-last-name's body is now on the outside. Hilarity ensues. (No, seriously, it does. Watch the movie if you don't believe me. Tony Shaloub is hilarious.)

So's the whole film.

It was the reason my parents bought a DVD player. (Well, the Thermian audio track was.)

[Icewalker]

Thanks for all the feedback. Seems like a fun option.

Fine by me that there is already a different version, as it's psionic and lower level. This is my second Galaxy Quest reference homebrew, the first being the Fatu-Krey. Just posted a third as well, another spell, Thirteen Seconds.

[Carrion_Humanoid]

They are all awesome, I only wish I hadn't made my Campaign world very Evolution Based.