KoD's homebrew thread

[Kittenofdeath]

Hello all, introductions first, I'm Kittenofdeath, an Australian of British extraction, and im currently DMin a campaign in a homebrew world (that world will be the main subject of the thread)

that breif deviation aside, on to the stuff, so far ive made up two races, both of them advanced versions of other races i have to make later

the first is this, a somewhat beastial race, but this one is their version of the Tifeling

Daraman Curseborn (Tanar’ri)

+2 Strength
+2 Dexterity
- 2 Charisma
Claws (1d6, 20/x4)
Fangs (1d4, no criticals)
’40 movement
Medium
Outsider (native)
Automatic languages: Rainia Common, Common, Daraman. Bonus languages: Any
Fire, Cold, & Electricity Resistance 5
+2 climb, survival, move silently and hide
60ft darkvision
Exiled: all Curseborn are marked as such at birth and immediately exiled as soon as they have even the slimmest chance of survival, all non combat interactions with other Daramans (excluding any that are equally shamed among their people) are taken at -15.
Illiterate: they begin play as illiterate, and cannot gain literacy from any class, and must spend 4 skill points before they can take any class that has a reading component (wizard for example)
Favored class: Fighter
+1 LA

and now, a sacred, once per generation super catgirl

Nekomimi (sacred born)

+4 Dexterity
+2 Charisma
-2 Wisdom
-2 Constitution
A Nekomimi base land speed is 40 feet.
Vision: Advanced Lowlight Vision (x3 Dist.), Normal. 
Feline canines (Gains 1d4 Bite ability with a -4 to hit, no criticals)
Automatic Languages: Common, Nekosara. Bonus Languages: Draconic, Gnoll, Halfling, Sylvan.
Luck: has an aura that allows all near misses (Defined as any check that has failed by 1 point) to have 1 added to the roll, making it succeed. (this only works if the roll failed, not if it merely got a lowered degree of success). All rolls of 1 are not critical failures while in this aura, and all creatures in this aura, save for ones that cannot have good luck, gain this. If the character wishes to suppress this aura, they must do so by succeeding on a will save (16+HD+ Curse Penalties, the Aura is doesn't have any effect on this roll) to suppress this for 24 hours. This is a supernatural ability.
Cat form: once per day per HD, the character may assume the form of a normal house cat, as described in the monster manual.
Favored Class: Any one arcane caster chosen at character creation
+2 LA

thats that then, if there is some kind of scaffold for races floating around, point me in that direction and i would be more than happy to wack these two in to that format, apart from that, i welcome any advice you have, as long as its constructive

[Dublock]

In the first race, under bonus languages, it says any, where it normally says any expect those that are secrete, was that intentional?

[Te'Shen]

Well, I'm not sure what to suggest for it, but the la's seem a little inverted.

Granted, your cursed race is based on the tiefling, which is a LA +1, but you have more combat ready abilities and stats over the tiefling. (bonus to strength and dexterity and three natural weapons and the outsider type and a penalty to a stat that is usually the weakest anyway...)

And you cat race is akin to the catfolk from Races of the Wild with a little of either the Tibbit from the Dragon Compendium or the Hengeyokai from Oriental Adventures thrown in... I think it's a nice race, but I'm not sure it merits the +2 adjustment.

And I'm curious as to why did you did the natural weapons this way? I'm under the impression that claw attacks are usually 1d4 on medium creatures and bite attacks are 1d6... and everything crits on a 20.

[Kittenofdeath]

In the first race, under bonus languages, it says any, where it normally says any expect those that are secrete, was that intentional?

yes actualy, they have to learn their first language themselves, as they are exiled before they're taught, so if you speak in a secret language infront of them to much, it isnt secret anymore

Well, I'm not sure what to suggest for it, but the la's seem a little inverted.

Granted, your cursed race is based on the tiefling, which is a LA +1, but you have more combat ready abilities and stats over the tiefling. (bonus to strength and dexterity and three natural weapons and the outsider type and a penalty to a stat that is usually the weakest anyway...)

yeah, but i imposed some other disadvantages (admitedly, they're more relevent to the RP side of it) and the campaign is geared more towards interactions between them and NPCs, rather than all out brawls (though my players are acting much more violent than expected) and i forgot to mention that the bite can only be used in a grapple

what would you suggest i put in to balence that stuff out?

And you cat race is akin to the catfolk from Races of the Wild with a little of either the Tibbit from the Dragon Compendium or the Hengeyokai from Oriental Adventures thrown in... I think it's a nice race, but I'm not sure it merits the +2 adjustment.

so your saying its underpowered? (and yeah, based on the catfolk, never looked at those other two you mentioned though) should i make it +1LA or thow in some more stuff? it is meant to be a holy princess of a whole race after all

And I'm curious as to why did you did the natural weapons this way? I'm under the impression that claw attacks are usually 1d4 on medium creatures and bite attacks are 1d6... and everything crits on a 20.

the 1d6 thing? yeah, most mediums are 1d4, but they are very good with those claws, each one has an inate sense for using those babys to realy lay in the hurt (its part of the history of their race, i still need to write that part up) and as for the biting without criticals, that was a bit of an attempt to balance the thing

[Kittenofdeath]

how much would this metal be worth?

Synthsteel 

Hardness 10+1/4 wearer HD, hit points 30+1 per wearer HD per inch

Whenever someone using or wearing a Synthsteel item is healed for more than ten points, 10% of the health recovered is instead 
recovered by the item, if it has any damage to be repaired. In addition, anyone donning such an item takes 1d6 sudual damage for 
every pound of synthsteel, and it cannot be removed without a strength check (see table)

DC                    condition
15                    a quick touch
20                    leaning against it
30                    putting on something made from it (a breast plate for example
50+5 for ever month*  leaving an item attached

(*in this case, apply 1dX temporary constitution loss for every pound of the synthsteel (X being the number of pounds))