[3.5] To Boldly Suck Where No One Has Sucked Before

[Graymayre]

I am petitioning you, my fellows in the playgrounders, to make the worst character you can possibly create in 3.5 D&D.

Requirements:

• Must be level 10
• Cannot use NPC classes
• uses 30 point buy.
• casters must have atleast an 11 in their primary stat
• Creativity (anyone can make a paladin that loses his abilities, make someone that is truelly unique).

I will be handing out cookies to the creators of good ones.

[hotel_papa]

Truenamer 10. The end.

[Behold_the_Void]

Truenamer 10. The end.

Samurai 10 I think is even worse.

[Graymayre]

Cmon'! you have to atleast post their stats (you'd be surprised how many people there are in the forum that do not what makes those classes suck).

EDIT: I forgot to mention, use 30pt. buy.

[Eloel]

Elf any class level 10, 5 seconds (1 second below a full-round) to venerable age.
32 point buy? (I assume)
5 Str, 7 Dex, 3 Con, 21 Int, 11 Wis, 23 Cha (with +1 from level4 and +1 from level8)

Make it suck worse. Dieing of lacking con in 5 seconds.

[kamikasei]

Heh, I was about to say, "fighter with 3s in every stat".

So I will say a wizard with a 20 wisdom (18+levels) and 8 int. His one skill point per level is put into Perform (rickroll). He took Toughness for all his normal feats and Spell Mastery (in spells he can't actually cast) for his bonus feats. He has no familiar. Not that it matters, but he's an evoker.

[Eurus]

Wizard 10. Uses a Scroll of Disjunction on a BBEG, just to spite the DM and the other players. Ends up smashing an artifact, loses all magical powers forever. The end.

[Behold_the_Void]

Gray Elf Samurai 10
6
10
6
19
18
9

Going with two-weapon fighting of course. Using all his skill points for some of the more useless skills like multiple crafts and multiple professions. Taking feats like skill focus. There you go. It could get worse, I'm sure.

Edit:

Heh, I was about to say, "fighter with 3s in every stat".

So I will say a wizard with a 20 wisdom (18+levels) and 8 int. His one skill point per level is put into Perform (rickroll). He took Toughness for all his normal feats and Spell Mastery (in spells he can't actually cast) for his bonus feats. He has no familiar. Not that it matters, but he's an evoker.

Or just do that.

[monty]

Elf any class level 10, 5 seconds (1 second below a full-round) to venerable age.
32 point buy? (I assume)
5 Str, 7 Dex, 3 Con, 21 Int, 11 Wis, 23 Cha (with +1 from level4 and +1 from level8)

Make it suck worse. Dieing of lacking con in 5 seconds.

Abilities can't drop below 1 except by damage/drain.

Are flaws allowed? If so, middle-age elf wizard with the Frail flaw. d4 HD - 3 Con - 1 Frail (which can drop it to zero, unlike the Con penalty) = exactly zero HP. If he does anything at all, he starts bleeding to death.

Middle-age elf Wizard (or anything else with d4 HD) 10
Stats: Con 5, others don't matter
Flaws: Frail
Feats: Don't matter, as long as none of them increase hit points.

[SurlySeraph]

First I'm going to steal a build from Kresalak on the WoTC forums, just to give everyone an idea of how weak a character can get.

Spoiler

Show

Nup-Nup, the kobold wizard 10/psion (any) 10

Alignment does not matter.
Ability scores: Str 11, Dex 15, Con 4, Int 6, Wis 11, Cha 18
By level 20: Str 13, Dex 15, Con 4, Int 6, Wis 13, Cha 19

Frail flaw: Skill Focus (Craft [Basketweaving])
Pathetic Int flaw: Combat Casting
Level 1: Armor Prof (Light)
Wizard 1: Scribe Scroll
Level 3: Armor Prof (Medium)
Wizard 5: Empower Spell
Level 6: Armor Prof (Heavy)
Level 9: Maximize Spell
Wizard 10: Extend Spell
Psion 1: Empower Power
Level 12: Peristant Spell
Psion 5: Burrowing Power
Level 15: Boost construct
Level 18: Augment summoning
Psion 10: Combat Manifestation

Spend your 1 skill point per level on 24 different skills. Except Craft (Basketweaving), since otherwise you might be able to make baskets.

BAB of +10, arcane CL of 10, manifester level 10. HP per level 0, skill points pert level 1.
Every single feat he has is useless to him. Except Craft (Basketweaving).
He cannot manifest any powers or cast any spells, since his Int score is so low. Since his HP is so low, he cannot take more then a partial action each round.

Equiptment is:
+5 Vicious Merciful Dagger. This weapon deals 1d4+5+3d6 damage, but all damage is nonlethal. He attacks a +16/+11, but cannot get iteritive attacks since he cannot take more then a partial action. Also, he takes 1d6 damage whenever he hits, and since he has 0 hp...

All other equiptment doesn't matter- assume that it is various things that are utterly useless or even harmful to him.

The point of Nup-Nup is that he cannot do anything. He has 0 hp, cannot cast spells, cannot manifest powers, and if he manages to hit something he brings himself to negative hp. He cannot even take a full round worth of actions, so he cannot run away very easily. None of his feats help him, and he spent his skill point in a way to make all of them useless. A normal CR 1/4th kobold could kill this guy. Sadly, said kobold wouldn't get any XP, since Nup-Nup is technically CR 20...

The name should be obvious- Pun-Pun reversed, since while Pun-Pun can do anything, Nup-Nup can do nothing. He cannot even survive fighting a helpless opponent.

I'm sure better could be done, perhaps by mixing in a bunch of prestige classes to lower his BAB and kill off any potential spellcasting and manifesting he might have.

As for my own build, I'm working on it. If I can get a character down to 1 or 2 Constitution, I'll make a Hellfire Warlock that kills himself with Constitution damage every time he uses his Eldritch Blast.

[mikethepoor]

Elf any class level 10, 5 seconds (1 second below a full-round) to venerable age.
32 point buy? (I assume)
5 Str, 7 Dex, 3 Con, 21 Int, 11 Wis, 23 Cha (with +1 from level4 and +1 from level8)

Make it suck worse. Dieing of lacking con in 5 seconds.

Except CON can't be reduced below 1 by aging penalties, so your build can't even suck properly.

[Eloel]

Except CON can't be reduced below 1 by aging penalties, so your build can't even suck properly.

Which means it sucks perfectly. It sucks at sucking.

[Xanos]

Level 10 or ECL 10?

[kamikasei]

First I'm going to steal a build from Kresalak on the WoTC forums, just to give everyone an idea of how weak a character can get.

And amusingly, the build isn't even legal (he's missing Spell Focus (conjuration)).

[FMArthur]

Wizard 10 with 3 Int. 9 Int is all you need to really fail, but 3 Int is basically unrecoverable fail for a Wizard of 10th level (I don`t think there`s any way to use 10th level WBL to improve it to 10 or higher). Dump Con to 4 and Dex to 3 too for good measure. Throw your point buy into Strength and Strength alone, and take the Frail flaw (you gain 1 less HP per level, so you have 0 HP). The epicness of this is that the player will die so easily in combat that there is no possible way for them to use that Strength (except as a pack mule) without being totally suicidal. I like this because you can just hand someone this character at level 1, and (assuming they live, which is laughably improbable) nothing they can do can actually make it usable. Feat choice, skills choice, nothing.

[monty]

Wizard 10 with 3 Int. 9 Int is all you need to really fail, but 3 Int is basically unrecoverable fail for a Wizard of 10th level (I don`t think there`s any way to use 10th level WBL to improve it to 10 or higher). Dump Con and Dex to 3 too for good measure. Throw your point buy into Strength and Strength alone. The epicness of this is that the player will die so easily in combat that there is no possible way for them to use that Strength (except as a pack mule) without being totally suicidal.

How are you planning to do that with standard point buy? A build would be nice.

[Flickerdart]

Can we enforce it a rule that spellcasters must have at least 11 in their primary stat? It seems too easy to make a sucky thing otherwise.

Anyways, if we're going ECL10, anything with LA is going to top these charts. Any crappy character is going to be crappier if you replace a level with something worthless like a Tiefling.

[Frog Dragon]

Here you go.

Kobold Fighter 7/ Bard 3
Stats
12
12
12
12
13 (level upgrade)
13 (level upgrade)

This is some massive Core Fail. The stats make him unable to qualify for any meaningful feat. He loses armor to use bard spells has sucky attack bonus because his strength bites for a fighter. Will use something like a spiked gauntlet for a weapon. He also has a multiclass XP penalty because neither of the classes is the kobold's favored one. Well most people don't utilize that rule, but even without it still fails on so many levels.
The bard spellcasting is completely redundant. Low caster level and bad charisma will make your spells obsolete. You can't tank decent because the bard levels screw you over with the light armor thing. It's hard to even get enough bonus feats this kobold qualifies for because the stats bite. All in all. This kobold fails.

[Flickerdart]

Here you go.

Kobold Fighter 7/ Bard 3
Stats
12
12
12
12
13 (level upgrade)
13 (level upgrade)

This is some massive Core Fail. The stats make him unable to qualify for any meaningful feat. He loses armor to use bard spells has sucky attack bonus because his strength bites for a fighter. Will use something like a spiked gauntlet for a weapon. He also has a multiclass XP penalty because neither of the classes is the kobold's favored one. Well most people don't utilize that rule, but even without it still fails on so many levels.
The bard spellcasting is completely redundant. Low caster level and bad charisma will make your spells obsolete. You can't tank decent because the bard levels screw you over with the light armor thing. It's hard to even get enough bonus feats this kobold qualifies for because the stats bite. All in all. This kobold fails.

Not enough fail. He still has a BAB of 9, which means he's only 1 BAB behind a full Fighter. He can ignore his bardic casting or suck up the failure rate and reasonably kill things. He even has decent HP. He's not great for a level 10 character, but he could probably hold his own against something.

[Yukitsu]

Half elf commoner 10

Stats, 18 strength, 8 dexterity, 8 constitution, 8 intelligence, 10 wisdom, 18 charisma.

4 kinds of skill focuses in different professions in which he has no ranks.

Woops, no NPC classes. I'll go with monk then.

[Graymayre]

sorry, repeat.

[Xanos]

Kobold Samurai 10.
STR: 17
DEX: 5
CON: 1
INT: 18
WIS: 18
CHA: 3

Uses an improvised Dire Flail

Okay. So what can a Samurai do? ATTACK, KILL? With his Dex 5 and crapsack weapon, he'll never ever hit anything. And with his Con 1, he'll die if he sneezes too hard.
Okay, so Samurai class abilities? Mostly rendered useless by the fact that he was grown up to HATE Samurai weapons, and now lives to destroy them. Which is why he uses an improvised Dire Flail. Yep.
Also, Staredown will suck with his amazing Charisma 3.

For skills he took Perform (Breakdance), Perform (More Breakdance) and Perform (Rickrolldance)
And for feats? Hm. He took Skill Focus a few times.

[Graymayre]

I'll throw mine in:

He took the following flaws (each flaw allows him to have a bonus feat):

Spoiler

Show

Inattentive
You are particularly unaware of your surroundings.
Effect
You take a -4 penalty on Listen checks and Spot checks.

Meager Fortitude
You are sickly and weak of stomach.
Effect
You take a -3 penalty on Fortitude saves.

Murky-Eyed
Your vision is obscured.
Effect
In combat, every time you attack an opponent that has concealment, roll your miss chance twice. If either or both results indicate that you miss, your attack fails.

Noncombatant
You are relatively inept at melee combat.
Effect
You take a -2 penalty on all melee attack rolls.

Poor Reflexes
You often zig when you should have zagged.
Effect
You take a -3 penalty on Reflex saves.

Shaky
You are relatively poor at ranged combat.
Effect
You take a -2 penalty on all ranged attack rolls.

Slow
You move exceptionally slowly.
Effect
Your base land speed is halved (round down to the nearest 5-foot interval).
Special
You must have a base land speed of at least 20 feet to take this flaw.

Unreactive
You are slow to react to danger.
Effect
You take a -6 penalty on initiative checks.

Vulnerable
You are not good at defending yourself.
Effect
You take a -1 penalty to Armor Class.

Weak Will
You are highly suggestible and easily duped.
Effect
You take a -3 penalty on Will saves.

Level 10 Human fighter
STR: 4 (2 with equipment)
DEX: 4 (2 with equipment)
CON: 20 (+ on 4th and 8th level)
INT: 8 (2 with equipment)
WIS: 14
CHA: 18

Skills:
1 skill point in each of these
Profession (town fool)
use rope
use magic device
perform (french horn)
heal
Speak language: 5 ranks


Feats (18) Toughness for each of them except one, where he took skill focus (speak languages):
HP: 160

Loaded down with 500lbs of food, he also has fullplate armor of arrow attraction, an amulet of inescapable location, boots of dancing, bracers of defenselessness, ring of clumsiness, cursed gloves of dexterity -2, cursed headband of intellect -6, and a cursed belt of giant strength -2 equipped.

His background story is that a few seconds ago he had pissed off every god in the universe. Plus his family has a history of heart disease.

[Eloel]

Why don't you just give him ALL flaws, and ALL traits? (penalties of traits are more damaging than their bonuses)

Polite (+1 Diplomacy -2 Intimidate)
Abrasive (+1 Intimidate -1 Diplomacy -1 Bluff)
Dishonest (+1 Bluff -2 Diplomacy)
Honest (+1 Diplomacy -1 Bluff -1 Sense Motive)
Uncivilized (+1 Handle Animal +1 Wild Empathy -1 Bluff -1 Diplomacy -1 Gather Information)
Easygoing (+1 Gather Information -1 Intimidate -1 Sense Motive)
Suspicious (+1 Sense Motive -1 Diplomacy -1 Intimidate)
Saddleborn (+1 Ride -1 Handle Animal)
Farsighted (+1 Spot -2 Search)
Focused (+1 Concentration -1 Spot -1 Listen)
Hard of Hearing (+1 Spot -2 Listen)
Nearsighted (+1 Search -1 Spot)

Diplomacy -2 Intimidate -2 Bluff -2 Sense Motive -1
Concentration +1 Ride +1 Wild Empathy +1
Search -1 Listen -3

That's -8 skill points for you :)

[Frog Dragon]

Not enough fail. He still has a BAB of 9, which means he's only 1 BAB behind a full Fighter. He can ignore his bardic casting or suck up the failure rate and reasonably kill things. He even has decent HP. He's not great for a level 10 character, but he could probably hold his own against something.

You're ignoring the fact that this guy gets no decent feats at any point because his stats bite so hard. And yes, I used the 30 point buy. You see, most feats have a requirement of some stat on 13 Yet he only has two stats at 13 and wisdom and charisma hardly qualify for anything. And the BaB? Well his strenght bites so if a decent fighter at this point has an str of 18. This guy has 12. Puts him behind by 4.

[martyboy74]

You can only take two flaws by RAW.

It's too bad this is limited to level 10, or someone could put up the sandwich psion.

Is a character allowed to take Skill Focus (Comprehend Languages)? If so, what happens?

[Graymayre]

Can we enforce it a rule that spellcasters must have at least 11 in their primary stat? It seems too easy to make a sucky thing otherwise.

That is a sound idea, I'll add it.

You can only take two flaws by RAW.

unless the DM approves, and I did for that character

[monty]

You can only take two flaws by RAW.

It's too bad this is limited to level 10, or someone could put up the sandwich psion.

Is a character allowed to take Skill Focus (Comprehend Languages)? If so, what happens?

They can still manifest all of their powers, though, which by that level is pretty much all they need to be able to do.

Then they get a bonus to all rolls involving that skill, of which there are none.

[Graymayre]

First I'm going to steal a build from Kresalak on the WoTC forums, just to give everyone an idea of how weak a character can get.

Spoiler

Show

Nup-Nup, the kobold wizard 10/psion (any) 10

Alignment does not matter.
Ability scores: Str 11, Dex 15, Con 4, Int 6, Wis 11, Cha 18
By level 20: Str 13, Dex 15, Con 4, Int 6, Wis 13, Cha 19

Frail flaw: Skill Focus (Craft [Basketweaving])
Pathetic Int flaw: Combat Casting
Level 1: Armor Prof (Light)
Wizard 1: Scribe Scroll
Level 3: Armor Prof (Medium)
Wizard 5: Empower Spell
Level 6: Armor Prof (Heavy)
Level 9: Maximize Spell
Wizard 10: Extend Spell
Psion 1: Empower Power
Level 12: Peristant Spell
Psion 5: Burrowing Power
Level 15: Boost construct
Level 18: Augment summoning
Psion 10: Combat Manifestation

Spend your 1 skill point per level on 24 different skills. Except Craft (Basketweaving), since otherwise you might be able to make baskets.

BAB of +10, arcane CL of 10, manifester level 10. HP per level 0, skill points pert level 1.
Every single feat he has is useless to him. Except Craft (Basketweaving).
He cannot manifest any powers or cast any spells, since his Int score is so low. Since his HP is so low, he cannot take more then a partial action each round.

Equiptment is:
+5 Vicious Merciful Dagger. This weapon deals 1d4+5+3d6 damage, but all damage is nonlethal. He attacks a +16/+11, but cannot get iteritive attacks since he cannot take more then a partial action. Also, he takes 1d6 damage whenever he hits, and since he has 0 hp...

All other equiptment doesn't matter- assume that it is various things that are utterly useless or even harmful to him.

The point of Nup-Nup is that he cannot do anything. He has 0 hp, cannot cast spells, cannot manifest powers, and if he manages to hit something he brings himself to negative hp. He cannot even take a full round worth of actions, so he cannot run away very easily. None of his feats help him, and he spent his skill point in a way to make all of them useless. A normal CR 1/4th kobold could kill this guy. Sadly, said kobold wouldn't get any XP, since Nup-Nup is technically CR 20...

The name should be obvious- Pun-Pun reversed, since while Pun-Pun can do anything, Nup-Nup can do nothing. He cannot even survive fighting a helpless opponent.

I'm sure better could be done, perhaps by mixing in a bunch of prestige classes to lower his BAB and kill off any potential spellcasting and manifesting he might have.

As for my own build, I'm working on it. If I can get a character down to 1 or 2 Constitution, I'll make a Hellfire Warlock that kills himself with Constitution damage every time he uses his Eldritch Blast.

Wow... that creature's fail is a thing of beauty.

[Eloel]

Also, he takes 1d6 damage whenever he hits, and since he has 0 hp...

That's 1d6 NON-LETHAL damage.

The weapon deals an extra 1d6 points of damage, and all damage it deals is nonlethal damage. On command, the weapon suppresses this ability until commanded to resume it. Bows, crossbows, and slings so crafted bestow the merciful effect upon their ammunition.

Also from SRD;

You apply your character’s Constitution modifier to:

* Each roll of a Hit Die (though a penalty can never drop a result below 1—that is, a character always gains at least 1 hit point each time he or she advances in level).

Misreading rules FTW :) It still has 20 HP :)