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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Signmaker's Avatar

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    Default I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    As said by one evil psycopath, whose natural 20 in penmanship killed a man.

    Simply put, share your stories of characters that have epicly done the mundane (as opposed to a mundane epic).
    "So Marbles, why do they call you Marbles?"

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    whenever the dm says "you see _____", I say it in a nonthreatining, almost ben stein voice "I see _____"

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Goblin

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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    I once beat a lich to death with a baseball bat, if that counts. Actually, I did it repeatedly, since he kinda cheated on his regeneration.

    EDIT: on second thought, this is more like doing the epic mundanely.
    Last edited by Nerd-o-rama; 2008-12-17 at 07:01 PM.
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  4. - Top - End - #4
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Signmaker's Avatar

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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    I had a character with Perform (Dance). One day, I jokingly asked the DM what the DC on a Fred Astaire Ceiling Dance would be, and the DM replied "60".

    A few minutes later, my bard defied gravity and danced her way around a giant pit trap. Granted, the sorceress could have just casted a Fly spell on us all, but I was somewhat confident in my 15% +Action roll chance.
    "So Marbles, why do they call you Marbles?"

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    Quote Originally Posted by kladams707
    whenever the dm says "you see _____", I say it in a nonthreatining, almost ben stein voice "I see _____"
    I will use this. This will be used by me.

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    I was playing in a group which insisted on rolling for every single minor detail, so I took it one step farther: I rolled for walking, opening doors, making sarcastic comments- everything.

    Eventually, this happened:

    'I slam the door open'

    20

    'I step in'

    20

    'I point at the Mayor, shouting 'WHERE IS THE TEMPLE!?'

    20

    This lead to the DM spending the next 15 minutes describing the exact location of the temple in obsessive detail.

    EDIT: My friend wanted me to share his . . . experience . . . from DMing for the first time 6 years ago.

    This conversation took place in the middle of combat:
    'Can I eat a Kobold?'
    '. . What?'
    'Can I eat a Kobold?'
    ' . . . No'
    'What if I roll a 20?'
    'N-'

    20

    'Great! I eat it!'
    'I said no!'
    'What if I roll another 20?'
    'NO!'
    'Twice!?'
    'Fine, lets get this over with'

    20
    20

    He still refused to let him eat the Kobold. Jerk.
    Last edited by Grey Paladin; 2008-12-17 at 07:22 PM.

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Orc in the Playground
     
    NinjaGuy

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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    "I grasp the lemon wedge between thumb and index finger. Carefully, so as to not spray myself or others, I SQUEEZE the lemon until the last drop comes forth. I place a cube of sugar in the cup. Again. THRICE! The tea is perfect. I DRINK IT!"

    I skipped the part where I boiled the water and added the leaves and such.

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    Three lemons and three sugars? That is hardly a mundane tea.

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Titan in the Playground
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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tacoma View Post
    Three lemons and three sugars? That is hardly a mundane tea.
    That's not tea, that's herb-flavored sugary lemon-water.
    Last edited by Fax Celestis; 2008-12-17 at 07:27 PM.

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Nov 2008

    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    Quote Originally Posted by Fax Celestis
    That's not tea, that's herb-flavored sugary lemon-water.
    Admittedly, we don't know how big the teacup is. Maybe it's like making the world's largest burrito.

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Titan in the Playground
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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tacoma View Post
    Admittedly, we don't know how big the teacup is. Maybe it's like making the world's largest burrito.
    Regdar gets a hummer and a burrito?

  12. - Top - End - #12
    Orc in the Playground
     
    NinjaGuy

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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    Quote Originally Posted by Fax Celestis View Post
    That's not tea, that's herb-flavored sugary lemon-water.
    Well, it was supposed to be one slice of lemon, and the character was an Orc who liked sweet tea.

    Edit: the cup was fairly large. Adventurer Orcs don't do well with fine china.
    Last edited by Lert, A.; 2008-12-17 at 07:34 PM.

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    Quote Originally Posted by Fax Celestis
    Regdar gets a hummer and a burrito?
    Probably. And then he drives away in a Humvee vehicle, which is separate from the other things that happened earlier.

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Orc in the Playground
     
    NinjaGuy

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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tacoma View Post
    Probably. And then he drives away in a Humvee vehicle, which is separate from the other things that happened earlier.
    I see what you did there.

  15. - Top - End - #15
    Pixie in the Playground
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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    In a PBP, I had a dragon shaman with a super high skill in Craft (Refreshing Alcoholic Beverages).

    Many of my drinks involved using lightning breath on the shakers and such.

  16. - Top - End - #16
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Signmaker's Avatar

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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    Quote Originally Posted by CompositeSanta View Post
    In a PBP, I had a dragon shaman with a super high skill in Craft (Refreshing Alcoholic Beverages).

    Many of my drinks involved using lightning breath on the shakers and such.
    Shock'n, not stirred?
    "So Marbles, why do they call you Marbles?"

  17. - Top - End - #17
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    I lassoed a hobgoblin once. Around the neck.

    So this is a 1E game, and me and my friend had just been chucked into jail after this hobgoblin king gave us a sound beating. We got our (non-magical) equipment, but none of our weapons and magic items. Not knowing any other way out of our situation, I ask the DM if I could attempt to lasso the hobgoblin guard.

    Feeling pity for us, the DM says "OK, you got like a five per cent chance of actually catching him with my lasso." (Keep in mind this is 1E, so 100 percentile dice are a must.) I roll a 00 on the first try. I lassoed the hobgoblin, dragged him over to the cell door and stole his keys.

    A half-hour later, we were standing over the hobgoblin king's corpse.
    Last edited by FoE; 2008-12-17 at 08:06 PM.

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    Quote Originally Posted by Face Of Evil
    I lassoed a hobgoblin once. Around the neck.
    All good stories begin somewhat like this.

    Quote Originally Posted by Face Of Evil
    A half-hour later, we were standing over the hobgoblin king's corpse.
    And end just about like this.

  19. - Top - End - #19
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    potatocubed's Avatar

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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    7th Sea is great for this. My last character's highest skill was Millinery (hat-making).

    One of the other characters in that game had the Shopping skill. While we were stopped in a pirate port she just 'went shopping'... and rolled something like 70+ on three (open-ended) d10.

    It was a shopping trip of legend, that none of us really knew how to describe. She shopped as the gods would shop, and pirates everywhere still tell the story of that day.

    They also still tell the story of the flying sea bear, but that's another story entirely...
    I write a gaming blog. It also hosts my gaming downloads:

    Fatescape - FATE-based D&D emulator, for when you want D&D flavour but not D&D complexity.
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  20. - Top - End - #20
    Orc in the Playground
     
    NinjaGuy

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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tacoma View Post
    All good stories begin somewhat like this.


    And end just about like this.
    Although in the context of the thread, it should involve the tying of the rope in a detailed and intense manner.

  21. - Top - End - #21
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    NinjaGuy

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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    In one of my campaigns we discovered who the bad guy was.


    By doing some awkward things with some awkward sex-goddess worshipping elves.

    Naked.

    The romp ended up with 2 of us in jail and.1 of us unconcious from fall damage- without us even confronting the villain yet.
    Last edited by Ulti; 2008-12-17 at 08:22 PM.

  22. - Top - End - #22
    Librarian in the Playground Moderator
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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    I once wrote a couple or three pages describing my character getting up and doing his morning exercises.

    I also had a blog for a little while about my Shadowrun ganger trying to make a living the Yakuza... mostly catching him at moments when he was doing absolutely nothing.
    The Cranky Gamer
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    *Picard management tip: Debate honestly. The goal is to arrive at the truth, not at your preconception.
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  23. - Top - End - #23
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Draz74's Avatar

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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    Quote Originally Posted by Face Of Evil View Post
    I lassoed a hobgoblin once. Around the neck.
    I lassoed a vampire. In 3.5e. Animate Rope spell, my wizard entangled and Tripped him while the rest of the party beat on the other vampires and finished this one off.
    You can call me Draz.
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    Also of note:

    I'm back to working on converting Red Hand of Doom to 5e.

  24. - Top - End - #24
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    John Campbell's Avatar

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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    Quote Originally Posted by Grey Paladin View Post
    He still refused to let him eat the Kobold. Jerk.
    That's probably fortunate, because as everyone who's ever played nethack knows, kobolds are poisonous.

    It's all the heavy metals.
    Play your character, not your alignment.

  25. - Top - End - #25
    Banned
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    Quote Originally Posted by Signmakerens View Post
    I had a character with Perform (Dance). One day, I jokingly asked the DM what the DC on a Fred Astaire Ceiling Dance would be, and the DM replied "60".

    A few minutes later, my bard defied gravity and danced her way around a giant pit trap. Granted, the sorceress could have just casted a Fly spell on us all, but I was somewhat confident in my 15% +Action roll chance.
    Christopher Walken approves of your anti-gravity dance number.

    "I hear Newton weeping!"

  26. - Top - End - #26
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    Quote Originally Posted by Fax Celestis View Post
    Regdar gets a hummer and a burrito?
    SNEAK ATTACK!

    In one of my campaigns we discovered who the bad guy was.


    By doing some awkward things with some awkward sex-goddess worshipping elves.

    Naked.

    The romp ended up with 2 of us in jail and.1 of us unconcious from fall damage- without us even confronting the villain yet.
    Jailed Cleric: All hail the Awkward Sex-Goddess!
    Guard: ... you mean Jill?
    Jailed Fighter: Aye, that's the one.

  27. - Top - End - #27
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Tempest Fennac's Avatar

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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    How did you get out of prison after that? Also, why was the awkwardness necessary?
    "It doesn't matter what you think I'm supposed to be, 'cause I myself know all too well." Line from "King of My World" by Saliva.
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  28. - Top - End - #28
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Goblin

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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    I remembered a better one for the character mentioned earlier.

    Mid-level Paladin
    vs.
    Vending Machine.

    Winner: vending machine.
    Last edited by Nerd-o-rama; 2008-12-18 at 06:50 AM.
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  29. - Top - End - #29
    Pixie in the Playground
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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    Quote Originally Posted by Draz74 View Post
    I lassoed a vampire. In 3.5e. Animate Rope spell, my wizard entangled and Tripped him while the rest of the party beat on the other vampires and finished this one off.
    Oh, animate rope.

    I had a stealth bard in 3.5e who used Animate rope almost exclusivley.

    He also used mage hand to pick up his throwing dagger and bring it back to him, or to stab someone with it without them noticing.

  30. - Top - End - #30
    Titan in the Playground
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    Default Re: I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

    Cuthulu, something as odd as mid 1980ies setting

    My character missed the ice-cream truck.
    Seriously, we were sitting doing some reading at one character's house, and the ice cream truck came by (as part of "every day suburbia description"). My character decides he wants some, startling both the GM and the other players by running out to get some, miss the truck and to the dismay of the GM get in the car and catch up to the truck...

    Serious business, Ice cream.

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