I take a Potato Chip...AND EAT IT!

[Signmaker]

As said by one evil psycopath, whose natural 20 in penmanship killed a man.

Simply put, share your stories of characters that have epicly done the mundane (as opposed to a mundane epic).

[kladams707]

whenever the dm says "you see _____", I say it in a nonthreatining, almost ben stein voice "I see _____"

[Nerd-o-rama]

I once beat a lich to death with a baseball bat, if that counts. Actually, I did it repeatedly, since he kinda cheated on his regeneration.

EDIT: on second thought, this is more like doing the epic mundanely.

[Signmaker]

I had a character with Perform (Dance). One day, I jokingly asked the DM what the DC on a Fred Astaire Ceiling Dance would be, and the DM replied "60".

A few minutes later, my bard defied gravity and danced her way around a giant pit trap. Granted, the sorceress could have just casted a Fly spell on us all, but I was somewhat confident in my 15% +Action roll chance.

[Tacoma]

whenever the dm says "you see _____", I say it in a nonthreatining, almost ben stein voice "I see _____"

I will use this. This will be used by me.

[Grey Paladin]

I was playing in a group which insisted on rolling for every single minor detail, so I took it one step farther: I rolled for walking, opening doors, making sarcastic comments- everything.

Eventually, this happened:

'I slam the door open'

20

'I step in'

20

'I point at the Mayor, shouting 'WHERE IS THE TEMPLE!?'

20

This lead to the DM spending the next 15 minutes describing the exact location of the temple in obsessive detail.

EDIT: My friend wanted me to share his . . . experience . . . from DMing for the first time 6 years ago.

This conversation took place in the middle of combat:
'Can I eat a Kobold?'
'. . What?'
'Can I eat a Kobold?'
' . . . No'
'What if I roll a 20?'
'N-'

20

'Great! I eat it!'
'I said no!'
'What if I roll another 20?'
'NO!'
'Twice!?'
'Fine, lets get this over with'

20
20

He still refused to let him eat the Kobold. Jerk.

[Lert, A.]

"I grasp the lemon wedge between thumb and index finger. Carefully, so as to not spray myself or others, I SQUEEZE the lemon until the last drop comes forth. I place a cube of sugar in the cup. Again. THRICE! The tea is perfect. I DRINK IT!"

I skipped the part where I boiled the water and added the leaves and such.

[Tacoma]

Three lemons and three sugars? That is hardly a mundane tea.

[Fax Celestis]

Three lemons and three sugars? That is hardly a mundane tea.

That's not tea, that's herb-flavored sugary lemon-water.

[Tacoma]

That's not tea, that's herb-flavored sugary lemon-water.

Admittedly, we don't know how big the teacup is. Maybe it's like making the world's largest burrito.

[Fax Celestis]

Admittedly, we don't know how big the teacup is. Maybe it's like making the world's largest burrito.

Regdar gets a hummer and a burrito?

[Lert, A.]

That's not tea, that's herb-flavored sugary lemon-water.

Well, it was supposed to be one slice of lemon, and the character was an Orc who liked sweet tea.

Edit: the cup was fairly large. Adventurer Orcs don't do well with fine china.

[Tacoma]

Regdar gets a hummer and a burrito?

Probably. And then he drives away in a Humvee vehicle, which is separate from the other things that happened earlier.

[Lert, A.]

Probably. And then he drives away in a Humvee vehicle, which is separate from the other things that happened earlier.

I see what you did there.

[CompositeSanta]

In a PBP, I had a dragon shaman with a super high skill in Craft (Refreshing Alcoholic Beverages).

Many of my drinks involved using lightning breath on the shakers and such.

[Signmaker]

In a PBP, I had a dragon shaman with a super high skill in Craft (Refreshing Alcoholic Beverages).

Many of my drinks involved using lightning breath on the shakers and such.

Shock'n, not stirred?

[FoE]

I lassoed a hobgoblin once. Around the neck.

So this is a 1E game, and me and my friend had just been chucked into jail after this hobgoblin king gave us a sound beating. We got our (non-magical) equipment, but none of our weapons and magic items. Not knowing any other way out of our situation, I ask the DM if I could attempt to lasso the hobgoblin guard.

Feeling pity for us, the DM says "OK, you got like a five per cent chance of actually catching him with my lasso." (Keep in mind this is 1E, so 100 percentile dice are a must.) I roll a 00 on the first try. I lassoed the hobgoblin, dragged him over to the cell door and stole his keys.

A half-hour later, we were standing over the hobgoblin king's corpse.

[Tacoma]

I lassoed a hobgoblin once. Around the neck.

All good stories begin somewhat like this.

A half-hour later, we were standing over the hobgoblin king's corpse.

And end just about like this.

[potatocubed]

7th Sea is great for this. My last character's highest skill was Millinery (hat-making).

One of the other characters in that game had the Shopping skill. While we were stopped in a pirate port she just 'went shopping'... and rolled something like 70+ on three (open-ended) d10.

It was a shopping trip of legend, that none of us really knew how to describe. She shopped as the gods would shop, and pirates everywhere still tell the story of that day.

They also still tell the story of the flying sea bear, but that's another story entirely...

[Lert, A.]

All good stories begin somewhat like this.


And end just about like this.

Although in the context of the thread, it should involve the tying of the rope in a detailed and intense manner.

[Ulti]

In one of my campaigns we discovered who the bad guy was.


By doing some awkward things with some awkward sex-goddess worshipping elves.

Naked.

The romp ended up with 2 of us in jail and.1 of us unconcious from fall damage- without us even confronting the villain yet.

[LibraryOgre]

I once wrote a couple or three pages describing my character getting up and doing his morning exercises.

I also had a blog for a little while about my Shadowrun ganger trying to make a living the Yakuza... mostly catching him at moments when he was doing absolutely nothing.

[Draz74]

I lassoed a hobgoblin once. Around the neck.

I lassoed a vampire. In 3.5e. Animate Rope spell, my wizard entangled and Tripped him while the rest of the party beat on the other vampires and finished this one off.

[John Campbell]

He still refused to let him eat the Kobold. Jerk.

That's probably fortunate, because as everyone who's ever played nethack knows, kobolds are poisonous.

It's all the heavy metals.

[bosssmiley]

I had a character with Perform (Dance). One day, I jokingly asked the DM what the DC on a Fred Astaire Ceiling Dance would be, and the DM replied "60".

A few minutes later, my bard defied gravity and danced her way around a giant pit trap. Granted, the sorceress could have just casted a Fly spell on us all, but I was somewhat confident in my 15% +Action roll chance.

Christopher Walken approves of your anti-gravity dance number.

"I hear Newton weeping!"

[Hallavast]

Regdar gets a hummer and a burrito?

SNEAK ATTACK!

In one of my campaigns we discovered who the bad guy was.


By doing some awkward things with some awkward sex-goddess worshipping elves.

Naked.

The romp ended up with 2 of us in jail and.1 of us unconcious from fall damage- without us even confronting the villain yet.

Jailed Cleric: All hail the Awkward Sex-Goddess!
Guard: ... you mean Jill?
Jailed Fighter: Aye, that's the one.

[Tempest Fennac]

How did you get out of prison after that? Also, why was the awkwardness necessary?

[Nerd-o-rama]

I remembered a better one for the character mentioned earlier.

Mid-level Paladin
vs.
Vending Machine.

Winner: vending machine.

[SmallFurryMamml]

I lassoed a vampire. In 3.5e. Animate Rope spell, my wizard entangled and Tripped him while the rest of the party beat on the other vampires and finished this one off.

Oh, animate rope.

I had a stealth bard in 3.5e who used Animate rope almost exclusivley.

He also used mage hand to pick up his throwing dagger and bring it back to him, or to stab someone with it without them noticing.

[Avilan the Grey]

Cuthulu, something as odd as mid 1980ies setting

My character missed the ice-cream truck.
Seriously, we were sitting doing some reading at one character's house, and the ice cream truck came by (as part of "every day suburbia description"). My character decides he wants some, startling both the GM and the other players by running out to get some, miss the truck and to the dismay of the GM get in the car and catch up to the truck...

Serious business, Ice cream.