Need a character background written up?

[KyleG]

Take your pic, what sparks your interest. The Fun Duty Bound Tortle, The Damaged Warforged Survivor or the Stoic Lone Dwarf in need or a Path.

Tortle Shepherd Druid: Like all Gatekeepers you walk the lands protecting it from those creatures that dont belong within it, ensuring the ancient seals under the oldest of druid seals remain closed when others have forgotten they were even there. A bit monk like. His personality hasnt revealed himself to me yet, although his name (maybe) Kwali gives a Hawaiian vibe. Spritely for an older guy, and lean for a tortle. Gives off a monk vibe.
or
Warforged Rogue Scout: Currently names Wildchild (might be a call sign?) Last mission in a war long forgotten to the passage of time he was part of a team sent behind enemy lines. For some reason has been offline since. Has survivors guilt as the only survivor of previously mentioned mission. Look for a home, new family in this new world i think. I want to rp this character almost like he cant stand still, fidgety (think 11th doctor).
or
Hill Dwarf War Cleric: Also unnamed currently (seems to be a theme). A bounty hunter of sorts, retrieving lost dwarven artifacts??? Why/How he became a cleric of a war god Im not sure. Of the 4 he is the weakest of my ideas currently. Although im pretty sure he is armed with a crossbow. (some Mandalorian inspiration)

[Mr Fabulous]

I love it! There was 1 detail wrong, however. The temple was diabolic, meaning it belonged to devil worshippers, not demons. Perhaps I should have made that more clear. Other than that little, easily corrected mistake, fantastic work. I especially love this paragraph:

But the demon showed only the slaughter – the way in which the party murdered every goblins standing before them. The demon did not show Zax the caring and compassion, and the moment of doubt the adventurers had when they found Zax and wondered how they would care for him. How they had hoped he would be an emissary. All of that remained hidden. All that echoed in Zax’s mind was the screams of his people – including his own parents.

Exactly how I imagined the vision going down. Thanks a bunch!

[Vatra]

Would you be open to reviewing already written backstory and giving your thoughts?

[Tawmis]

Would you be open to reviewing already written backstory and giving your thoughts?

By all means! When I write these - I welcome feedback from ANYONE - both the requester - as well as ANYONE else who reads these.

I do these all under an hour (it's a part of my writing challenge I do to keep myself creative and prevent me from over thinking and sitting there for days weaving some overly complicated, ten page, epic background) - so I love hearing what I can do to improve and sharpen my skills.

Take your pic, what sparks your interest. The Fun Duty Bound Tortle, The Damaged Warforged Survivor or the Stoic Lone Dwarf in need or a Path.
Tortle Shepherd Druid: Like all Gatekeepers you walk the lands protecting it from those creatures that dont belong within it, ensuring the ancient seals under the oldest of druid seals remain closed when others have forgotten they were even there. A bit monk like. His personality hasnt revealed himself to me yet, although his name (maybe) Kwali gives a Hawaiian vibe. Spritely for an older guy, and lean for a tortle. Gives off a monk vibe.
or
Warforged Rogue Scout: Currently names Wildchild (might be a call sign?) Last mission in a war long forgotten to the passage of time he was part of a team sent behind enemy lines. For some reason has been offline since. Has survivors guilt as the only survivor of previously mentioned mission. Look for a home, new family in this new world i think. I want to rp this character almost like he cant stand still, fidgety (think 11th doctor).
or
Hill Dwarf War Cleric: Also unnamed currently (seems to be a theme). A bounty hunter of sorts, retrieving lost dwarven artifacts??? Why/How he became a cleric of a war god Im not sure. Of the 4 he is the weakest of my ideas currently. Although im pretty sure he is armed with a crossbow. (some Mandalorian inspiration)

Consider these added - I will probably try to do all three (maybe not at once, if there's multiple requests but keep coming back to do the next one, so on and so on).

I love it! There was 1 detail wrong, however. The temple was diabolic, meaning it belonged to devil worshippers, not demons. Perhaps I should have made that more clear. Other than that little, easily corrected mistake, fantastic work. I especially love this paragraph:
Exactly how I imagined the vision going down. Thanks a bunch!

Ah, yes - simply change it from demon to devil then - and it should be set. :)

I have to admit, I think it would be a huge amount of fun to play in the Tawmis-verse. It feels populated with awesome characters and places!

I do enjoy DMing - I currently DM two games in my homebrew world - and it's a lot like here - where the actions of one game, may impact the other.

For example, Group A was given a quest to go save a Dryad from being sacrificed and unleashing a great evil that had been imprisoned within a tree. Group A took too long (they side quested to some bandits that had attacked them and tracking down their lair) - so I had the Dryad end up getting killed (to show that the game world does not wait for them) - and a great evil being unleashed. Now they have this quest to track down and stop this great evil being they'd released. Well, along comes Group B - and they get news of some weird things in the forest (where the Dryad perished; but they had no idea the Dryad perished). So when they got there, they met a Dryad who was seemingly keeping evil at bay - and sent the heroes to go kill the nearby demons.

Well, the Dryad that Group B encountered was actually a (Green) Hag, impersonating the Dryad (she'd been drawn here by the tragedy of the Dryad being slain) - and the "demons" was a group of Centaurs that had been trying to kill the Hag. I even had the Hag, feeling super cocky, say, "Beware of the one with the white hair." All the while, I mentioned the Hag was stroking the fur of a white rabbit. (Or white hare). For those that remember the old school D&D Cartoon might remember that in the cartoon.

So Group B ended up attacking some Centaurs (who they perceived as demons) - until realizing something was weird. And unraveled the mystery and went after the Hag, and defeated her.

[Vatra]

By all means! When I write these - I welcome feedback from ANYONE - both the requester - as well as ANYONE else who reads these.

I do these all under an hour (it's a part of my writing challenge I do to keep myself creative and prevent me from over thinking and sitting there for days weaving some overly complicated, ten page, epic background) - so I love hearing what I can do to improve and sharpen my skills.

Lol I apologize I meant reviewing ones that someone else has written? I have read some of the backgrounds you've made and I really like them. I can't write them as fast as you seem to but I have a couple of backgrounds for characters that I would love to have peer reviewed.

[Tawmis]

Lol I apologize I meant reviewing ones that someone else has written? I have read some of the backgrounds you've made and I really like them. I can't write them as fast as you seem to but I have a couple of backgrounds for characters that I would love to have peer reviewed.

Oh, sure! You can just PM to me - or heck, better - start your own thread on the forum - so others can check it out too! (Just message me the link to the thread if you do that, and I'd love to read them!)

Hey Tawmis!
I saw your posts in my thread since last night (thanks for the feedback by the way!) and your signature reminded me of this thread, which was one of the first ones I read through when I first joined the forums back-when. I'm glad to hear that you're still writing new backstories - it seems like there's a lot more requests now that the forums are back up from maintenance, and I was wondering if you'd like to take a shot at one of my first characters when you get the chance.
Sadly, the campaign that I played as him in was cut short only a few levels in. I had a backstory but it was quite rushed since I was new to the game, but I think it'd be nice to build upon it since I'd like to pick him back up for a future campaign to continue his legacy.

Name: Maxi
Gender: Male
Race: Foxfolk (Homebrew, similar to tabaxi feature-wise)
Alignment: Neutral Good
Class: Cleric (Light Domain)
Background: Outlander

Maxi was always on his own, growing up without knowing any other foxfolk or at least people who treated him with respect for it. He lives by himself out in the wild in his own shabby cabin, spending his days away from any sort of civilization and wishing to find friends who will accept his company. This has lead him to seek religion to get his mind off it and think more positively. Though, with his new-found powers as a cleric, he only further dreams of becoming some sort of hero, both to prove he's worth something and get some attention for once. He occasionally ventures out of his comfort zone in hopes of finding a quest to take his first step towards that dream...

Spoiler

Show

While usually anxious and naive, he likes to be creative when it comes to art and problem-solving. When I first drew the reference of him above, I accidentally gave him a hammer instead of a mace... so the joke became Lathander transformed his regular, boring mace into the much cooler, shiny hammer that Maxi would draw in his doodles, in an attempt to motivate him to get out more and become a true adventurer.

This is roughly what I had for my first go playing him, I'd love to hear what you'd add or change.
Thanks again.

This was different - and fun - to write. I tried to write a shy, timid, if not awkward around people, type of person - based on what you gave me.
You'd mentioned he was the only Foxfolk or that treated him as such - so I actually wrote him as (in the beginning) - being one of a kind - but he learns a secret by the end.
I hope you enjoy what I did here!
I'd love feedback (even if you didn't like it!)
Feedback not only helps me - but with the replies help keep this thread alive and floating!
Enjoy!
====================================

They say that everyone in the world is unique.

That there are no two people alike.

My name is Maxi, and as I gaze in the mirror, not only do I realize there are no two people alike; as far as I know, I was the only one of my kind. I recall pieces of my childhood growing up in the forests; raised by foxes.

When I was approximately five years old; a man found me in the wild and took to raising me. He taught me how to speak, to read, to write. He showed me that I was different than the very foxes that raised me, despite my outward appearance of looking like something between a fox and a human. He admitted to me he was not sure what I was or where I’d come from.

The human, an older man, whose beard was now streaked with shades of grey was named Laren Thalar, claimed that long ago, he was famous Paladin. (As it turns out, years later, when I did some further research, I found no evidence of his names attached to any of the historical moments he claimed to be a part of).

One thing Laren spent time teaching me was the gods. He believed that perhaps I was a gift from the gods; and if so, it would have probably been Lathander, the Morning God, who was specifically known for his creativity, renewal and birth (among a few others). But Laren believed that perhaps, Lathander had blessed one of the foxes in the den to give birth to someone different – something creative – me.

As such, I spent my early years, researching Lathander, reading the tomes of books that Laren would bring back after visiting the nearby town; trading furs and meats for more books for me to consume through reading.

Because Laren had done all the trading himself, he’d never taken me into the town, for fear of how people might react to me – a creature – a person – like me, for which none had ever seen before.

I began to draw pictures of myself, on some of the older books and empty pages, of what I might look like as a hero. Much of what I drew was inspired solely by the only armor I’d seen – Laren’s, and though Laren had an old mace that looked as if it had seen a lot of use, I envisioned myself with a hammer to smite the evil of the world.

There’d been a yearning inside of him to see the world. On the day he gathered up the courage to tell Laren, he discovered the old Paladin had died in his sleep the night before. Laren took the Paladin’s mace and armor and decided he would go out into the world.

It’d been that first night when I had a dream of Lathander himself coming to me and telling me that I was not alone. That my own parents had been killed by a tribe of vicious Orcs known as The Red Eye Orc Clain. My heart brimmed with courage – and the need to find my parents killing and seek out justice – to bring like to the darkness and squelch the evil of the Red Eye Orc Clan.

In my dreams, my hand gripped my weapon – which felt different.

Just as I gazed down, I awoke from my dream, to find my hand around Laren’s old mace, now reforged as a hammer.

Coming in through the only window in the shack, was the morning sun…

Name: Aumu
Race: Chakara ( https://dm-clockwork-dragon.tumblr.c...rch/Chakara%20 )
Alignment: NG
Class: Life cleric (Path of Light)
Known: He comes from the mind of a Githzerai monk in limbo, teleported into the normal world by a twist of fate. He favors the Orange Sacral lotus, followed by the Heart and Third-eye lotus. He is friendly and peaceful, believing in the goodness of people. He does keep a good damaging spell for those who are better off dead than evil and is blindly faithful in his friends. His biggest fear is the seventh Lotus

Not being familiar with the Chakara - I read up on them (the link in your original post is broken; but the game and the general URL was enough to get me what I needed!)
So, based off of what I read (three pages to the race) - and having never played it - I am making a few assumptions in this origin that may or may not work.
Hopefully it does; because as the concept continued to roll as I wrote it... I actually enjoyed it!
I just don't know if this is exactly how this race works!
Hopefully, if it doesn't work - you still enjoy the background!
As always, would love to hear feedback - especially with the mods dinging me for "bumping" - so replies will help ensure this thread stays alive!
Enjoy!
=======================================

“Hold them back a moment longer!” Do’raun, a githzerai monk, defending their temple, which floated in the chaotic storm of the dimensional plane known as The Limbo. An opposing force, the Blue Slaad – a humanoid frog like creature with enormous claws on their hands – bred by infecting their hosts, in this case, the githzerai. The Slaad had been sent to destroy the floating temple, because that githzerai were pulling magic and energy from the Astral Plane, for which the Limbo connected to.

The Githzerai had sensed a great power source through the Astral Plane that could be the key to finally defeating the Slaad and ending the eternal war that had been waged. Do’raun tried to shut out the sounds of his companions dying all around him as he projected his mind into the Astral Plane in an effort to find that which they’d sensed.

However, just as Do’raun projected his mind forward, one of the Blue Slaads ran its claw through his heart. His mind already veering into the Astral Plane, his sudden death had tried to return to his body – but the chaos of the Limbo and Astral Plane projected it wildly – perhaps it was only for a few seconds, perhaps a few days; it could have been years, or even centuries – but when it reawaked, it was neither in the Limbo or the Astral Plane – but the Prime Material Plane. It seemed to wander – when suddenly, over time, it began to develop a form – reborn as a Chakara.

He’d used, what was called The Third Eye – or the Purple Lotus – to gain insight to understand the people of the Prime Material Plane, and learned a great many things, such as the wide diversity of personality traits and races that walked this world. Using the Heart – or the Green Lotus – he learned to value friendships and connections. Though many initially reported fearfully when seeing him, he always emulated a sense of peace, calm and creativity. Learning that mortals of this plane adopted names, the Chakara who only had fractured memories of his former self, adopted the name Aumu.

As he learned forge bonds, one of the things that struck a chord with the compassion, was those who prayed to the gods; mended the wounded and tended to the sick. As he learned more about those who called themselves Clerics, he began to take further interested. He began to volunteer at Temples, somehow, sensing at one time, he was connected to a Temple of some kind. This also taught him about mortality and the preciousness of every second in life mattering. He wanted to help these mortals, and perhaps find the answers to the shattered memories of his own. He was soon recruited by the Temple and began the life of a Light Cleric. Seeing that Aumu was capable of taking care of himself, his fellow Clerics informed him, that he would be good for spreading the words about the gods; and healing those along the way he encountered as proof of love and grace of their gods.

They warned Aumu that the world, however, was full of dangers. And traveling alone was not recommended.

“Adventurers,” Father Haynor, an elderly human, who soon would be ascending beyond the mortal plane, told Aumu. “Find adventurers. They’re likely to go where there is dark and evil; and vanquish that which threatens our world. They will need you. Your power. Your magic. And your connection to the Light. And perhaps, with them, you will find the answers to the questions you ask yourself, when you awake each morning, and feel there’s pieces of you that are not complete.”

[Maxiboy]

This was different - and fun - to write. I tried to write a shy, timid, if not awkward around people, type of person - based on what you gave me.
You'd mentioned he was the only Foxfolk or that treated him as such - so I actually wrote him as (in the beginning) - being one of a kind - but he learns a secret by the end.
I hope you enjoy what I did here!
I'd love feedback (even if you didn't like it!)
Feedback not only helps me - but with the replies help keep this thread alive and floating!
Enjoy!

This is AMAZING - you pictured what kind of person Maxi is perfectly and made Laren an interesting character to help build up the story. I really appreciate that you decided to write something unique even with the request being something different, and had fun doing so - I can totally say that I love it and can't wait to share it when I get around to playing as him again. Thank you!!

[Tawmis]

This is AMAZING - you pictured what kind of person Maxi is perfectly and made Laren an interesting character to help build up the story. I really appreciate that you decided to write something unique even with the request being something different, and had fun doing so - I can totally say that I love it and can't wait to share it when I get around to playing as him again. Thank you!!

It was such a pleasure to write! And I hope, you got the reference with the mace reforged, just as the morning sun comes in the window is a nudge of Lathander, who is known as the Morning God (among other things) - and THANK YOU for the donation! I appreciate that SO freaking much!

[evilspacecow]

Need help with a new character.

He is a Male High Elf Bladesinger Wizard. Due to some things from our other story, the town he lives in becomes a police state run by humans that did not like other races. He needs to end up in jail for something (can be as simple as being an elf), because the game is starting when he got freed but something our other characters did. I plan on playing him as a front line wizard wielding a single Elven Thinblade. He does not have high charisma (10) or strength (9). I really just need something before the police state, what he was doing as a high elf wizard in this town, and the reason he gets arrested. Thanks!!

[Tawmis]

Need help with a new character.
He is a Male High Elf Bladesinger Wizard. Due to some things from our other story, the town he lives in becomes a police state run by humans that did not like other races. He needs to end up in jail for something (can be as simple as being an elf), because the game is starting when he got freed but something our other characters did. I plan on playing him as a front line wizard wielding a single Elven Thinblade. He does not have high charisma (10) or strength (9). I really just need something before the police state, what he was doing as a high elf wizard in this town, and the reason he gets arrested. Thanks!!

Consider this added.

Hello Tawmis, got one for you. I have a good idea of who this character is, but still working on how they got here. Looking forward to your help.

Karinya
Female Protector Aasimar (LN)
Chain pact Warlock: Noble Genie patron (UA 2020 Subclasses 1)
https://media.wizards.com/2020/dnd/d...bclasses01.pdf

She is an albino Aasimar that is in service to a mighty Djinni lord named Tyvian. Tyvian boasts about having the grandest menagerie across all the planes, sporting thousands of live or taxidermized rare and exotic beings from all corners of the multiverse. He also has an impressive collection of treasures and artifacts on display, but the menagerie is his pride. Karinya is both an assistant, and part of the collection herself. While technically a slave, she isn't particularly concerned with her condition. Tyvian, like most Djinni, is kind and caring toward his servitors and treats his favorite specimens with fawning adoration. A combination of this treatment and many years of service (how many?) leaves her with little idea of what a life outside service to the genie would entail.

Karinya has been entrusted to travel the Material Plane looking for new and unusual specimens to bring back to expand the menagerie. To assist, she's been granted an elemental spirit companion that normally takes the appearance of a white raven. My intention with this character is to have her start out content with her station in life, but grow over time to recognize her value as an individual and desire to break free of her bonds.

This was fun exploring the idea of a Warlock bound to a Genie... and how to make it all come together.
How had she come to be collected by him? Why would he let her go?
What's their relationship like?
I explored all of this and hope produced something you can use and enjoy!
Please give feedback (especially now with posts for these backgrounds no longer able to be their own - replies keep this thread bumped and alive!)
So I'd love to hear what you liked, hated, or even if you just say you loved it or hated it. (Naturally the more feedback you provide, whether positive or negative, helps me more!)
As always, enjoy!
==============================

Tyvian was a Noble Genie, whose bronze skin gleamed giving the illusion that he might have been made of metal. In stark contrast, the woman bowing before him, had cloudy white skin, almost as if appearing she was forged from the clouds. This is what had drawn Tyvian’s interest to her.

Tyvian had never seen an Aasimar whose skin was that of the clouds; and so, when he found her, he took her under his wing as a part of his collection. He’d found her, floating through the Void, unconscious, baring a striking resemblance to the very clouds she’d been drifting through. When she recovered and awoke, she had no memory of who she was, save for her name or how she came to be floating in a Void.

This only sparked Tyvian’s interest in Karinya even further; and for Karinya, she’d been thankful to had been saved by the Noble Genie. Tyvian explained his massive collection and proudly escorted Karinya around his domain, waving his hand in every direction, where Karinya’s eyes fell on something new everywhere she looked; some of what she saw were species of beings and animals that had been taxidermized to preserve them in his collection after they had lived out their life (or if he found them dead, during his time roaming the Planes).

She soon realized that she had been considered a part of his collection; because he had no regard, or true concept of anything, other than his own interests. He interacted with others, aside from Genies, all of whom all shared his same interest of collecting the unusual objects and beings they encountered throughout the multiverse. It had been, what Tyvian called, a “friendly competition” among the other Noble Genies.

Karinya had been something special to him; however. He enjoyed pleasing her with his collection and doing things that entertained her and made her smile. They’d developed a strong and powerful friendship and mutual respect. So much so that Tyvian had used her to gather some objects he had traded or collected to add to his ever expanding collection.

Karinya was surprised when one day, Tyvian approached her and said, “I have not forgotten how you came to me.” He looked at her with admiration, “I have sensed something on the Prime Material Plane that is tied to you. It may explain how you came to be floating in the Void. I’ve not been able to pinpoint it. But I am willing to bestow powers upon you and send you to the Prime Material Plane to find out what happened and how you came to me.”

The genie smiled, “When you find out what happened, come back to me if you so wish.”

“You’re releasing me?” she asked surprised.

“I am,” he said, his proud smile spreading across his bronze features. “But I am hoping that when you find yourself, that perhaps, you will return to me of your own accord.” He chuckled, “The magic I infuse you with, will keep us connected, however.”

And with that, Karinya was sent to the Prime Material Plane, her Aasimar body infused with ancient magic from Tyvian, and for the first time in her life, was now looking for something for herself, rather than Tyvian.

I have a decent amount of background information, but would like to see it put into a more coherent story instead of the bullet points I have.

Name: Elias Kratston
Race: Human (mechanically a Warforged but for fluff all racial abilities come from extended class fluff, I'll explain more later)
Class: Artificer Armorer
https://media.wizards.com/2020/dnd/d...ses03_0224.pdf
Stats:
Strength: 6
Dexterity: 15
Constitution: 18
Intelligence: 20
Wisdom: 13
Charisma: 12

Level 5

Racial abilities: My "not breathing" is fluffed as a "rebreather" apparatus that essentially allows me to breath in any environment. The not sleeping is fluffed as me meditating more like an Elf and using magic from my creations to refresh my body and mind so that I can remain aware of my surroundings. The poison resistance and extra AC are also from my Artificer creations in one form or another that varies based on what the story would warrant at that moment.

Reason for adventuring: To prove myself, make money and seek out lost or new knowledge. I came from a Noble house but was all but disowned at a young age. Though finally on decent terms with my family I still feel strain in the relationship and wish to make my own way on the world.

What my goals are: To gain knowledge and prove my worth to my family.

Important relations:
With my family - Strained. They looked down on me as weak when I was young, and even though they have come to respect my accomplishments I struggle to recognize the change.
With my Instructor - Good. He's always encouraged me to push the bounds of what I am capable of and nurtured my desire for knowledge growing up.

Important people to me:
My father. He doted on my younger brother, even naming him heir to the household, and always saw me as weak. Though I've proven that my intellect can overcome my physical shortcomings I don't feel I have his true respect. I've always strived to prove myself to him, not to repair our relationship, but to prove that I don't need him.

My adventuring companions. Despite differences I know that the people I travel with are they key to my success and survival. As much as I want to take all the credit for myself I acknowledge those that I depend on. I don't have much information on who/what they will actually be right now.

My Instructor. He is a Wizard and tutored me when I was young. Though I never quite had the inclination to become a Wizard he encouraged me to pursue artificery and helped mold my understanding of the Arcane. I keep in contact with him as much as possible and sometimes still ask him for guidance and/or information.

Information about me: I am missing my right arm and eye. Both were lost when I was in my late teens and while traveling with my family we were attacked. I was drug off my horse and an undead creature clawed my face and ripped half my arm off. The rest of the arm was amputated due to damage from the undead that the clerics couldn't stop the spread of. My father could afford to have someone regenerate my arm, but chose not to, "a bookworm like you will get along just fine with one arm". Using my abilities as an Artificer I've replaced both with magical prosthetics.

This led to a near phobia level fear if corporeal undead. I also have a fear if bring buried alive, but no root source for that.

Something that no one knows about me: In a rage I once hired an assassin to kidnap and hold my brother for ransom because he had publicly humiliated me. The attempt was a failure and the assassin was killed by the household guard.

Most of this is copied from information I provided to my DM already so if possible please limit changes to this information, but I welcome the addition of any information you think might help flesh out the character or story!

Thanks in advance and I look forward to seeing what you come up with!!

You provided a lot of great information which allowed me to really peer inside the mind of your character...! I loved it.
I tried to expand on all the great details you provided; I think the only place that might be "off" for you is the age of your brother.
I did it the way I did to really DRIVE that point in there to create a true GAP between you and your brother...
And continued to feed that GAP and give the reason why your character would eventually try to send an assassin after him.
I hope this works for you; because, regardless, I really loved writing it!
Would love to hear feedback (especially since that helps bump the thread and keep it alive and on the first page for others to see!)
So please let me know what you think!
And of course, I hope you...
Enjoy!
================================================== ========

Kratston Manor was an incredible sight to behold. Majestically sitting on top of a large hill overlooking the small town for which my father was responsible for. The Manor was much like my father’s attitude. He was about looking down at those less than him and my mother was like the manor as well; a beautiful woman to behold. That was important to my father that others were envious of him.

I was my father’s first son. My name is Elias. I always felt as if I was a burden to my father. He rarely seemed to have time for me; he’d been more concerned about maintain his relations with the social circles, displaying his wife – my mother – like a prized trophy.

I was sixteen years old when my family left the manor so that my father could go down to the town he lorded over and accept an award for his kindness. On the way back from the town, our wagon had been attacked by Necromancer who commanded several undead to attack. My father barked the command to the guards to protect him and his wife; so, they circled around my parents, leaving me, who had been riding on my own horse, to be pulled off. One of the undead raked at my flesh, thick, black, talons tearing into my face, ripping out my eye even as it brought its infected mouth upon my right arm.

One of the guards broke rank and rushed to my side, cleaving the ghoul’s arm and head and pulling me back to safety, screaming as I bled out. The Necromancer retreated as did his undead minions. I was rushed to the medical center at my father’s Manor. They called for Jellena, the High Cleric, but my father called her away to tend to his horse, which had also been clawed in the attack. My father simply said, “For a bookroom like you, you will along just fine with one arm. My horse has a deep, infected wound from the ghoul attack that would prevent me from riding her. And I am sure you understand son, I paid an exuberant amount of gold to get her from a breeder.”

The wound in arm was so infected that the Clerics had no choice by to sever the rest of my right arm and remove my right eye that had been damaged in the attack.

The horse, however, had been saved.

Almost a week later, to the day, the High Cleric, Jellena announced that my mother was with child.

My brother, Lemuel was pronounced the heir and dotted upon almost from the moment of his birth. My father excused me as not being eligible for the next heir due to my grievous wounds, which he – told the people – he was greatly sad about, but as soon as those doors closed again, he paid me no attention again.

When I was twenty one and my brother, only a child of five, I employed an assassin to kill my brother, when during another visit to the city my father lorded over, he’d thrown a ball to me – whether on purpose or not – knew I could not catch it, due to missing an arm. No one laughed, until my father chuckled, and told my brother to not play with me. Then the people of the town began to chuckle because my father had. I was furious. Humiliated. Perhaps because I did not know where to find one; I simply found someone desperate for coin, the assassin attempted to sneak in and kill my brother two weeks later but was quickly killed by the guards.

This had an unfortunate effect of my father thinking that someone was trying to usurp his throne, and suddenly my brother was being guarded everywhere he went; and my father continued to assure him that he would always take care of him and keep him safe.

Thalwyn, my father’s Wizard and Sage Advice, approached me and told me he wanted to speak to me. I feared that Thalwyn was going to confront me about hiring the assassin, as if he had somehow magically known. And perhaps he did; but when he spoke to me, he never mentioned it. But standing next to him I feel he could peer inside of me as if he knew my dark secret. Instead he offered to teach me magic and when I said I only have one arm, he told me about learning how to become an Artificer. Under his guide and study, for the first time ever, I felt as if I belonged somewhere, that someone had wanted me to be alive and around them. He taught me how to forge magic by building; and through his teachings I was able to create a prosthetic arm and eye that allowed them to function normally. I could once again see with two eyes and use my right arm.

As a part of the training, Thalwyn ran me through exercises to help me understand magic and how to use it under stressful situations. Focusing my anger and frustration, I was able to maintain my ability to stay focused; until the day he used illusions of ghouls attacking and I found that I quickly buckled under the pressure.

“You will need to learn to master the fears that have devoured your soul,” he said, gazing down at me as he helped me up. “You have used your ability to replace you eye and arm that you lost in the ghoul attack; but there is a hole in your soul that can not be so easily repaired. As long as that is there it will fester and grow and eventually kill you. The time has come for you to venture forth. Find yourself, because your place is not here. And in doing so, face that which you fear, and master it. You will become far more powerful by doing so.”

It was strange. Bidding farewell to my family; this was the first time I saw my father concerned about me. Keeping me under his wing, it was easy to dismiss me, but he always knew where I was. Perhaps he needed me to make himself feel better, and now that stone was being removed. Or, perhaps he genuinely did worry for me.

I hugged him farewell, regardless, and turned and walked out of the beauty of Kratston Manor…

[Jaryn]

Removed as this is too much!

[AvvyR]

Consider this added.




This was fun exploring the idea of a Warlock bound to a Genie... and how to make it all come together.
How had she come to be collected by him? Why would he let her go?
What's their relationship like?
I explored all of this and hope produced something you can use and enjoy!
Please give feedback (especially now with posts for these backgrounds no longer able to be their own - replies keep this thread bumped and alive!)
So I'd love to hear what you liked, hated, or even if you just say you loved it or hated it. (Naturally the more feedback you provide, whether positive or negative, helps me more!)
As always, enjoy!

Thanks for your time! I like it, buuuut... I can't really use it.

In a coincidence you had no way of knowing about, I actually had a fairly similar backstory for the wizard I played in Dungeon of the Mad Mage, who also had her memories erased and revolved around exploring themes of an unknown self and a missing past.

The theme I want to explore here is rising above the station you've been assigned and always assumed you belonged in. Karinya is on the material plane to do work for the Djinn. He has a degree of trust in her, but his magic keeps her bound to him, and she isn't really free. Additionally, Tyvian wouldn't simply let a prized piece of his collection run off. It would bring down the grandeur of the whole operation, which is anathema. While he's kind on a personal level, he also can't conceive of why anyone wouldn't want to be part of his collection. After all, being deemed special enough to be included in the greatest menagerie in the multiverse is the greatest honor possible for a mortal in his mind.

[Galithar]

You provided a lot of great information which allowed me to really peer inside the mind of your character...! I loved it.
I tried to expand on all the great details you provided; I think the only place that might be "off" for you is the age of your brother.
I did it the way I did to really DRIVE that point in there to create a true GAP between you and your brother...
And continued to feed that GAP and give the reason why your character would eventually try to send an assassin after him.
I hope this works for you; because, regardless, I really loved writing it!
Would love to hear feedback (especially since that helps bump the thread and keep it alive and on the first page for others to see!)
So please let me know what you think!
And of course, I hope you...
Enjoy!
================================================== ========

Kratston Manor was an incredible sight to behold. Majestically sitting on top of a large hill overlooking the small town for which my father was responsible for. The Manor was much like my father’s attitude. He was about looking down at those less than him and my mother was like the manor as well; a beautiful woman to behold. That was important to my father that others were envious of him. I love this. It sets the tone right away for the kind of person Elias's father is. He treats people based in their value to him. A bookish son is far less valuable then a trophy wife on his arm because all he sees is someone that can't inspire the troops in battle

I was my father’s first son. My name is Elias. I always felt as if I was a burden to my father. He rarely seemed to have time for me; he’d been more concerned about maintain his relations with the social circles, displaying his wife – my mother – like a prized trophy.

I was sixteen years old when my family left the manor so that my father could go down to the town he lorded over and accept an award for his kindness. On the way back from the town, our wagon had been attacked by a Necromancer who commanded several undead to attack. My father barked the command to the guards to protect him and his wife; so, they circled around my parents, leaving me, who had been riding on my own horse, to be pulled to the ground. One of the undead raked at my flesh, thick, black, talons tearing into my face, ripping out my eye even as it brought its infected maw upon my right arm.

One of the guards broke rank and rushed to my side, cleaving the ghoul’s arm and head and pulling me back to safety, screaming as I bled out. The Necromancer retreated as did his undead minions. I was rushed to the medical center at my father’s Manor. They called for Jellena, the High Cleric, but my father called her away to tend to his horse, which had also been clawed in the attack. My father simply said, “For a bookworm like you, you will get along just fine with one arm. My horse has a deep, infected wound from the ghoul attack that would prevent me from riding her. And I am sure you understand son, I paid an exorbitant amount of gold to get her from a breeder all the way in the capitol.”

The wound in arm was so infected that the other Clerics had no choice by to sever the rest of my right arm and remove my right eye that had been damaged in the attack, lest the infection take root and spread

The horse, however, had been saved.

Almost a week later, to the day, the High Cleric, Jellena announced that my mother was with child.

My brother, Lemuel was pronounced the heir and dotted upon almost from the moment of his birth. My father excused me as not being eligible for the next heir due to my grievous wounds, which he – told the people – he was greatly sad about, but as soon as those doors closed again, he paid me no more attention.

When I was twenty one and my brother, only a child of five, I employed an assassin to kill my brother, when during another visit to the city my father lorded over, he’d thrown a ball to me – whether on purpose or not – knew I could not catch it, due to missing an arm. No one laughed, until my father chuckled, and told my brother to not play with me. Then the people of the town began to chuckle because my father had. I was furious. Humiliated. Perhaps because I did not know where to find one; I simply found someone desperate for coin, the assassin attempted to sneak in and kill my brother two weeks later but was quickly killed by the guards.

When my brother turned 16, the time that marks a man's entrance to adulthood, my father organized a tournament in his honor. A gesture that was never considered when I myself came of age.

At first I was excited by the prospect. I greatly enjoyed the jousting and attended every chance I got. The excitement quickly turned to dread when the tournament roster was announced, and there, in the first round of the melee, read Elias Kratston - Sword and Shield. I didn't understand, I had never competed in a melee before, and I certainly couldn't hold a sword and shield with one arm.

Seeing the confusion and fear in my eyes, my father sternly told me that my brother had requested that all the Kratston's participate in the tournament and that I had better be on time for every match.

As the tournament day neared I came more to terms with my predicament. Very few people cared about the early matches of the melee, and I would never advance past my first bout anyways. It wouldn't be the first time I had been forced to spar with one arm. Though it would be the first time outside of the private courtyards of the family Manor.

The day of the tournament came, and I was prepared for my first match. When the bell was struck to signal the start of the match I saw my father had come to watch my match. I was resolved to put on as good a show as I could, knowing I couldn't win was one thing, but the fury of my father if he thought I hadn't given my everything to the match overwhelmed my desire to end this quickly. Somehow I'd won.

Fight after fight I seemed to be put against bumbling fools that didn't know which end of the blade to hold. I couldn't believe I was actually advancing. I knew that something was off, soldiers and knights in my Father's guard were losing melee matches to the one armed boy who had been disinherited. In semi-finals I was up against my Father's Captain of the Guard, who had for most of my life beaten the tar out of me in sparring sessions at my father's behest. As he faked opening after opening I slowly beat at him. Falling to his knees in what I knew was a mock surrender he whispered something I'll never forget, "I'm sorry Elias, your brother ordered that no one was to beat you today."

And that was it. I was now to face off against my Brother in the Melee championship. With all the eyes of my Father's estate and the entirety of the city watching. I understood what was going to happen. My brother wanted to show the entire city how much better then me he was. To prove to everyone why HE was the heir.


This had an unfortunate effect of my father thinking that someone was trying to usurp his throne, and suddenly my brother was being guarded everywhere he went. My father continued to assure him that he would always take care of him and keep him safe.

The next day, Thalwyn, my father’s Wizard and Sage Advisor, approached me and told me he wanted to speak to me. I feared that Thalwyn was going to confront me about hiring the assassin, as if he had somehow magically known. And perhaps he did; but when he spoke to me, he never mentioned it. But standing next to him I felt he could peer inside of me as if he knew my dark secret. Instead he offered to teach me magic and when I said I only have one arm, he told me about learning how to become an Artificer. Under his guide and study, for the first time ever, I felt as if I belonged somewhere, that someone had wanted me to be alive and around them. He taught me how to forge magic by building; and through his teachings I was able to create a prosthetic arm and eye that allowed them to function normally. I could once again see with two eyes and use my right arm.

As a part of the training, Thalwyn ran me through exercises to help me understand magic and how to use it under stressful situations. Focusing my anger and frustration, I was able to maintain my ability to stay focused; until the day he used illusions of ghouls attacking and I found that I quickly buckled under the pressure.

“You will need to learn to master the fears that have devoured your soul,” he said, gazing down at me as he helped me up. “You have used your ability to replace you eye and arm that you lost in the ghoul attack; but there is a hole in your soul that can not be so easily repaired. As long as that is there it will fester and grow and eventually kill you. The time has come for you to venture forth. Find yourself, because your place is not here. And in doing so, face that which you fear, and master it. You will become far more powerful by doing so.”

It was strange. Bidding farewell to my family; this was the first time I saw my father concerned about me. Keeping me under his wing, it was easy to dismiss me, but he always knew where I was. Perhaps he needed me to make himself feel better, and now that stone was being removed. Or, perhaps he genuinely did worry for me.

I hugged him farewell, regardless, and turned and walked out of the beauty of Kratston Manor…

First I want to say thank you! This is amazing and really helps me lean into who my character is. I had the outline, but seeing it written out by you really sparked a new life into him for me.
So I made a few tweaks here and there. Mostly adding a word or two, or a couple times correcting a typo. And then in the middle I had a bit of a run away idea about why I would hire the assassin. Though I liked what you did, I didn't think that event was significant enough to truly warrant wanting to kill him. I did keep the age gap, so in my version on his 16th birthday Elias would be 32. I was hoping you might give me a little feedback on that rather major adjustment.

Edit: I marked all of my changes in bold so you could see what I changed.

[Tawmis]

Thanks for your time! I like it, buuuut... I can't really use it.
In a coincidence you had no way of knowing about, I actually had a fairly similar backstory for the wizard I played in Dungeon of the Mad Mage, who also had her memories erased and revolved around exploring themes of an unknown self and a missing past.
The theme I want to explore here is rising above the station you've been assigned and always assumed you belonged in. Karinya is on the material plane to do work for the Djinn. He has a degree of trust in her, but his magic keeps her bound to him, and she isn't really free. Additionally, Tyvian wouldn't simply let a prized piece of his collection run off. It would bring down the grandeur of the whole operation, which is anathema. While he's kind on a personal level, he also can't conceive of why anyone wouldn't want to be part of his collection. After all, being deemed special enough to be included in the greatest menagerie in the multiverse is the greatest honor possible for a mortal in his mind.

Got it! I wouldn't mind a second swing at it to tweak it and make it more to your liking.
So I guess I would need to figure out - why is she on the Prime Material Plane rather than with the Tyvian? That's what I tried to pinpoint in mine. I tried to show the admiration he had for her, and really (maybe I didn't make it too obvious?) for his collection to be "complete." As long as Karinya doesn't have all of her memories, she's a bit "broken" in Tyvian's eyes (in how I envisioned him).
But since the broken memory thing doesn't work - did you have an idea why Karinya wouldn't be stuck with Tyvian? Why he would allow her to run on the Prime Material Plane? I figure since he's her pact, it's not like she would have escaped him - because then why would he continue to be an avenue for her power?
If you can help with that piece - I'd be happy to revisit this and give it another stab to try and get it closer to what you're looking for!

First I want to say thank you! This is amazing and really helps me lean into who my character is. I had the outline, but seeing it written out by you really sparked a new life into him for me. So I made a few tweaks here and there. Mostly adding a word or two, or a couple times correcting a typo. And then in the middle I had a bit of a run away idea about why I would hire the assassin. Though I liked what you did, I didn't think that event was significant enough to truly warrant wanting to kill him. I did keep the age gap, so in my version on his 16th birthday Elias would be 32. I was hoping you might give me a little feedback on that rather major adjustment.
Edit: I marked all of my changes in bold so you could see what I changed.

I really like the tournament segment! It changes the focus to your brother being the jerk, rather than how I had written it - which was your character reaching a breaking point.
Two very different scenarios for sure! Where as mine showed your character reaching a snapping point at the series of unfortunate events and the lack of love given to your character by his family (and sending an assassin after probably the most innocent person in your tragic background!), yours moves that - and keeps the focus that your brother is manipulating the guards to "fail" in the tournament so he could show how much he was better than your character (who, for those who observed this; had gone through and defeated your father's guards, despite his handicaps and would go on to lose to your brother - something revealed by the Captain of the Guard).

The only thing that felt slightly out of place, was if said guard had spent his life beating Elias, him mouthing/saying that his brother arranged all of this would seem out of place. Perhaps make one small change that makes of all the people - the Captain of the Guard showed mercy to Elias and wanted to side with him?

So change the one line I had from:
One of the guards broke rank and rushed to my side, cleaving the ghoul’s arm and head and pulling me back to safety, screaming as I bled out.

To:
Derrek, the Captain of the Guard, broke rank and rushed to my side, cleaving the ghoul’s arm and head and pulling me back to safety, screaming as I bled out.

And change:
In semi-finals I was up against my Father's Captain of the Guard, who had for most of my life beaten the tar out of me in sparring sessions at my father's behest. As he faked opening after opening I slowly beat at him. Falling to his knees in what I knew was a mock surrender he whispered something I'll never forget, "I'm sorry Elias, your brother ordered that no one was to beat you today."

To:
In semi-finals I was up against my Derrek, the Captain of the Guard who had once saved my life against the undead and who had for most of my life beaten the tar out of me in sparring sessions at my father's behest, much to Derrek's regret. As he faked opening after opening I slowly beat at him. Falling to his knees in what I knew was a mock surrender he whispered something I'll never forget, "I'm sorry Elias, your brother ordered that no one was to beat you today."

This shows Derrek (who I just named in the rewrite since we're giving him more significance) initially showed compassion by saving him against the undead; and in the tournament, revealed to Elias what was really happening - all showing that he did what he did only because he was commanded, but still, in his heart had compassion for Elias.

Thoughts?

[Galithar]

I really like the tournament segment! It changes the focus to your brother being the jerk, rather than how I had written it - which was your character reaching a breaking point.
Two very different scenarios for sure! Where as mine showed your character reaching a snapping point at the series of unfortunate events and the lack of love given to your character by his family (and sending an assassin after probably the most innocent person in your tragic background!), yours moves that - and keeps the focus that your brother is manipulating the guards to "fail" in the tournament so he could show how much he was better than your character (who, for those who observed this; had gone through and defeated your father's guards, despite his handicaps and would go on to lose to your brother - something revealed by the Captain of the Guard).

The only thing that felt slightly out of place, was if said guard had spent his life beating Elias, him mouthing/saying that his brother arranged all of this would seem out of place. Perhaps make one small change that makes of all the people - the Captain of the Guard showed mercy to Elias and wanted to side with him?

So change the one line I had from:
One of the guards broke rank and rushed to my side, cleaving the ghoul’s arm and head and pulling me back to safety, screaming as I bled out.

To:
Derrek, the Captain of the Guard, broke rank and rushed to my side, cleaving the ghoul’s arm and head and pulling me back to safety, screaming as I bled out.

And change:
In semi-finals I was up against my Father's Captain of the Guard, who had for most of my life beaten the tar out of me in sparring sessions at my father's behest. As he faked opening after opening I slowly beat at him. Falling to his knees in what I knew was a mock surrender he whispered something I'll never forget, "I'm sorry Elias, your brother ordered that no one was to beat you today."

To:
In semi-finals I was up against my Derrek, the Captain of the Guard who had once saved my life against the undead and who had for most of my life beaten the tar out of me in sparring sessions at my father's behest, much to Derrek's regret. As he faked opening after opening I slowly beat at him. Falling to his knees in what I knew was a mock surrender he whispered something I'll never forget, "I'm sorry Elias, your brother ordered that no one was to beat you today."

This shows Derrek (who I just named in the rewrite since we're giving him more significance) initially showed compassion by saving him against the undead; and in the tournament, revealed to Elias what was really happening - all showing that he did what he did only because he was commanded, but still, in his heart had compassion for Elias.

Thoughts?

I like the changes. In my mind when I wrote that the "at my father's behest" said that he didn't really WANT to beat me, but knew that it was his job and he'd been ordered to. He had no more choice about it than I did. And the changes help reflect what I already had in my mind for the situation. I'm also keeping the bit about my brother throwing the ball and my failure to catch it. It shows the beginning of a pattern of my brother embarrassing me. Maybe even indicating that he does these things, not because he holds any real contempt for me but because my Father who dotes on him thinks it's entertaining and he's just trying to impress his father as much as I wish I could.

I guess my goal is to make it so that no matter what the situation is, every bad thing that happens is somehow connected to my Father. Whether he actually caused it directly or not, it's all his fault in my mind. He's the main antagonist in my personal story, regardless of what happens in the campaign.

[AvvyR]

Got it! I wouldn't mind a second swing at it to tweak it and make it more to your liking.
So I guess I would need to figure out - why is she on the Prime Material Plane rather than with the Tyvian? That's what I tried to pinpoint in mine. I tried to show the admiration he had for her, and really (maybe I didn't make it too obvious?) for his collection to be "complete." As long as Karinya doesn't have all of her memories, she's a bit "broken" in Tyvian's eyes (in how I envisioned him).
But since the broken memory thing doesn't work - did you have an idea why Karinya wouldn't be stuck with Tyvian? Why he would allow her to run on the Prime Material Plane? I figure since he's her pact, it's not like she would have escaped him - because then why would he continue to be an avenue for her power?
If you can help with that piece - I'd be happy to revisit this and give it another stab to try and get it closer to what you're looking for!

She's there to look for new and exciting things to add to the collection. Tyvian is powerful, but he can't be everywhere. He's also a noble, and haughty, and would much prefer to spend his time lounging in his palace, or showing off his collection to other genies/powerful entities to brag. Additionally, visiting the material plane himself introduces risk of being trapped by Planar Binding or something similar and having to temporarily do the bidding of another rather than focus on his own goals.

He hires out mercenaries to search for things for him, and always has an ear out for leads, but due to politics, other genie nobles have an interest in denying him things he wants, so outsiders can't always be trusted to produce results. Therefore, he needs to occasionally send "employees" he trusts on expeditions to find new stock for the infinitely expanding collection. A blue tiefling? A rat corpse that's been naturally reanimated by parasitic fungi? A fish from the deep sea with teeth larger than its head? The material plane is full of such oddities. (Of course, she'll eventually get caught up in whatever the campaign plot is. How exactly she ends up working with the other PC's is something I'll figure out once I know who they are.)

At the start of the campaign, I intend to try to convince any "unique" individuals we encounter to sell themselves into Tyvian's collection, not realizing this thought is abhorrent to most people, then when they refuse, trying to talk them down to just selling their corpse after they die. Which is even worse.

Tyvian's magic empowers Karinya, and allows her to face any dangers she may encounter. It also keeps her bound to him, so he can scry on her or summon her back to him if she is needed (to show off, for example). He can't imagine that she'd run away or not return to him, because as far as he's concerned, she's already reached the ultimate achievement a mortal can possibly aspire to. Character exploration is: If you're a caged bird that has stability, safety, and the adoration given to a beloved pet, why would you want to fly free?

[Tawmis]

I like the changes. In my mind when I wrote that the "at my father's behest" said that he didn't really WANT to beat me, but knew that it was his job and he'd been ordered to. He had no more choice about it than I did. And the changes help reflect what I already had in my mind for the situation. I'm also keeping the bit about my brother throwing the ball and my failure to catch it. It shows the beginning of a pattern of my brother embarrassing me. Maybe even indicating that he does these things, not because he holds any real contempt for me but because my Father who dotes on him thinks it's entertaining and he's just trying to impress his father as much as I wish I could.
I guess my goal is to make it so that no matter what the situation is, every bad thing that happens is somehow connected to my Father. Whether he actually caused it directly or not, it's all his fault in my mind. He's the main antagonist in my personal story, regardless of what happens in the campaign.

I really like it! Your characters background is truly a tragic one all the way around; and reads more the makings of a story!
I am envious of those who get to sit around the table and see you play this character out - because there's a lot here. And makes it very easy for you, to feel this character - and thus become attached, and care about what happens to him in the campaign. (I've known too many people who don't invest in a good background to make them feel connected, and just run in and attack things carelessly with the idea, if they die, they will just roll up another character!)

And dude - thank you SO FREAKING much for your donation! I can not tell you how much I appreciate it! (But I am trying to tell you now how much I do!) I always feel honored when people ask me to write their character backgrounds - they're trusting me with their character - and when they donate! It makes my heart feel like I really hit the spot with what they wanted! So thank you a million times! If you need anything else written (or need to bounce ideas) please let me know. I am doing it so those who donate basically skip to the front of the line for requests (sort of like if donating was a patreon thing... without the patreon website part!) So donating leads to skipping to the front! Thank you!

[Galithar]

I really like it! Your characters background is truly a tragic one all the way around; and reads more the makings of a story!
I am envious of those who get to sit around the table and see you play this character out - because there's a lot here. And makes it very easy for you, to feel this character - and thus become attached, and care about what happens to him in the campaign. (I've known too many people who don't invest in a good background to make them feel connected, and just run in and attack things carelessly with the idea, if they die, they will just roll up another character!)

And dude - thank you SO FREAKING much for your donation! I can not tell you how much I appreciate it! (But I am trying to tell you now how much I do!) I always feel honored when people ask me to write their character backgrounds - they're trusting me with their character - and when they donate! It makes my heart feel like I really hit the spot with what they wanted! So thank you a million times! If you need anything else written (or need to bounce ideas) please let me know. I am doing it so those who donate basically skip to the front of the line for requests (sort of like if donating was a patreon thing... without the patreon website part!) So donating leads to skipping to the front! Thank you!

I'm actually amazed at how much your writing has inspired my own thoughts and writing. I'll be sure to keep you up to date with any future backgrounds I need help with, and I might even start writing a campaign journal for Elias (starting with your backstory of course.) I'm only 1 session into the campaign so I should be able to remember everything that happened so far :P

I keep getting flashes of inspiration on how to expand his backstory now that you've got me started. It is just amazing what you get done in an hour worth of writing. And I truly believe you are providing a wonderful service to the forums here.

[Tawmis]

She's there to look for new and exciting things to add to the collection. Tyvian is powerful, but he can't be everywhere. He's also a noble, and haughty, and would much prefer to spend his time lounging in his palace, or showing off his collection to other genies/powerful entities to brag. Additionally, visiting the material plane himself introduces risk of being trapped by Planar Binding or something similar and having to temporarily do the bidding of another rather than focus on his own goals.
He hires out mercenaries to search for things for him, and always has an ear out for leads, but due to politics, other genie nobles have an interest in denying him things he wants, so outsiders can't always be trusted to produce results. Therefore, he needs to occasionally send "employees" he trusts on expeditions to find new stock for the infinitely expanding collection. A blue tiefling? A rat corpse that's been naturally reanimated by parasitic fungi? A fish from the deep sea with teeth larger than its head? The material plane is full of such oddities. (Of course, she'll eventually get caught up in whatever the campaign plot is. How exactly she ends up working with the other PC's is something I'll figure out once I know who they are.)
At the start of the campaign, I intend to try to convince any "unique" individuals we encounter to sell themselves into Tyvian's collection, not realizing this thought is abhorrent to most people, then when they refuse, trying to talk them down to just selling their corpse after they die. Which is even worse.
Tyvian's magic empowers Karinya, and allows her to face any dangers she may encounter. It also keeps her bound to him, so he can scry on her or summon her back to him if she is needed (to show off, for example). He can't imagine that she'd run away or not return to him, because as far as he's concerned, she's already reached the ultimate achievement a mortal can possibly aspire to. Character exploration is: If you're a caged bird that has stability, safety, and the adoration given to a beloved pet, why would you want to fly free?

This is what I needed!

So here we go with version two - let's see if this is closer to the mark!

Hello Tawmis, got one for you. I have a good idea of who this character is, but still working on how they got here. Looking forward to your help.

Karinya
Female Protector Aasimar (LN)
Chain pact Warlock: Noble Genie patron (UA 2020 Subclasses 1)
https://media.wizards.com/2020/dnd/d...bclasses01.pdf

She is an albino Aasimar that is in service to a mighty Djinni lord named Tyvian. Tyvian boasts about having the grandest menagerie across all the planes, sporting thousands of live or taxidermized rare and exotic beings from all corners of the multiverse. He also has an impressive collection of treasures and artifacts on display, but the menagerie is his pride. Karinya is both an assistant, and part of the collection herself. While technically a slave, she isn't particularly concerned with her condition. Tyvian, like most Djinni, is kind and caring toward his servitors and treats his favorite specimens with fawning adoration. A combination of this treatment and many years of service (how many?) leaves her with little idea of what a life outside service to the genie would entail.

Karinya has been entrusted to travel the Material Plane looking for new and unusual specimens to bring back to expand the menagerie. To assist, she's been granted an elemental spirit companion that normally takes the appearance of a white raven. My intention with this character is to have her start out content with her station in life, but grow over time to recognize her value as an individual and desire to break free of her bonds.

Tyvian was a Noble Genie, whose bronze skin gleamed giving the illusion that he might have been made of metal. In stark contrast, the woman bowing before him had cloudy white skin, almost as if appearing she was forged from the clouds. This is what had drawn Tyvian’s interest to her.

Tyvian had never seen an Aasimar whose skin was that of the clouds; and so, when he found her, he took her under his wing as a part of his collection. He’d found her, floating through the Void, unconscious, baring a striking resemblance to the very clouds she’d been drifting through. When Tyvian had found her, she was weak, and claimed to have been involved in a large scale battle which she and her companions had been forced to flee from. In the chaos, a portal had shattered and shunted her into the Void, and she’d spent time trying to find her way out.

This only sparked Tyvian’s interest in Karinya even further; and for Karinya, she’d been thankful to have been saved by the Noble Genie. Tyvian explained his massive collection and proudly escorted Karinya around his domain, waving his hand in every direction, where Karinya’s eyes fell on something new everywhere she looked; some of what she saw were species of beings and animals that had been preserved by the Multiverse’s greatest taxidermy experts to ensure his collection was flawless after they had lived out their life (or if he found them dead, during his time roaming the Planes).

She soon realized that she had been considered a part of his collection; because he had no regard, or true concept of anything, other than his own interests. He interacted with others in a similar manner; several walked about his magnificent floating castle, serving him, cleaning – all of them were not simply servants, they were a part of his collection.

He would host extravagant parties for other Noble Genies for the sole purpose of showing off the latest things he’d added to his collection. Most of the other Noble Genies shared his same obsession, seeking out to collect a wide variety of species, relics, and weapons from across the Multiverse with little regard of the impact it might have to the citizens from who they may have taken things. It had been what Tyvian called, a “friendly competition” among the other Noble Genies.

Karinya had been something special to him; however. He enjoyed pleasing her with his collection and doing things that entertained her and made her smile. They’d developed a strong and powerful friendship and mutual respect. So much so that Tyvian had used her to gather some objects he had traded or collected to add to his ever expanding collection throughout the Multiverse, keeping a close eye on her in the beginning; but soon found that she enjoyed serving him. He’d always taken care of her – and all of his slaves – by treating them with the best foods, energizing waters to clean themselves. After all, anything less than the most exotic and rare foods and drinks would never dare cross the threshold of Tyvian’s front doors.

Tyvian approached Karinya one day who had been bathing in a pool that seemed to stretch for endless miles, with the sun hanging in the sky above her, warming her milky white skin. “Karinya,” he said, looking down at her. “It would seem several items have begun appearing in the Prime Material Plane; things of interest. As it would turn out, I only trust one to fetch these items for me. I need you to venture to the Prime Material Plane – see if you can find any objects that are not in my collection. Collect anything and everything that could be of interest to me; undamaged, if at all possible. This includes animals, humanoids, armor, weapons, and relics.”

“Must I?” she said, stepping out of the pool and wrapping a towel around her bare body. She did not mind running these collection missions for Tyvian; but she loved being here. The attention, the food, the sights, everything was wonderful here. There was no need to leave. Here there was no war, no fighting; there was only peace and tranquility. He looked at her and she heaved a deep sigh. “You know I will,” she said and returned to her room.

A few short hours later, she’d been jaunted to the Prime Material Plane, and was immediately overcome by the smell of cow dung, as she looked around and found herself near the city gates of a small farming village. She heaved a deep sigh and realized the sooner she got to collecting, the sooner she could return back to Tyvian.

I'm actually amazed at how much your writing has inspired my own thoughts and writing.
I keep getting flashes of inspiration on how to expand his backstory now that you've got me started.

This is one of the most flattering things I can possibly hear! Seriously. I love writing (clearly, right). And if I somehow invoke a spark in someone to venture into writing (or any form of creativity) - that's like... everything to me.

It is just amazing what you get done in an hour worth of writing. And I truly believe you are providing a wonderful service to the forums here.

[/quote]

This stuff helps me relax. My mind is a maelstrom of swirling ideas. So being able to have someone deliver a "writing challenge" to me - and allow me to focus that creative storm on a designated target - it lets me get that creativity out of me, and allows my brain to get that satisfaction of having done something creative. I never, ever, ever thought this thread was going to take off. But I am so utterly thankful that it has.

I'll be sure to keep you up to date with any future backgrounds I need help with, and I might even start writing a campaign journal for Elias (starting with your backstory of course.) I'm only 1 session into the campaign so I should be able to remember everything that happened so far :P

If you do, please PM me the thread or the URL. Would love to keep following what happens next!

[Foxydono]

Hi, I would like to have a character background witten up! I do already have some basic information which can be used. We are starting in HoTDQ.

First off, It's a Yuan ti pureblood called: Don Guan (alignment LN). He was born and raised in ss'thar'tiss'ssun, located in Najara, just below the Serpent Hills and above the Wyvern Forest in Fearun.

Another important part of his history, is that he was married and his wife layed some eggs. Unfortunately, a green dragon came, who killed his wife and ate all the eggs. Don Guan vowed to kill all evil dragons, especially green ones.

However, he realised that his power fell short when confronted with such a mighty creature. He came to the conclusion that only with preperation and tactics he would be able to slay these mighty beasts. So he became a Conquest Paladin in service of The Red Knight.

Any help with further developing his backstory is much appreciated!

[Tawmis]

Hi, I would like to have a character background witten up! I do already have some basic information which can be used. We are starting in HoTDQ.
First off, It's a Yuan ti pureblood called: Don Guan (alignment LN). He was born and raised in ss'thar'tiss'ssun, located in Najara, just below the Serpent Hills and above the Wyvern Forest in Fearun.
Another important part of his history, is that he was married and his wife layed some eggs. Unfortunately, a green dragon came, who killed his wife and ate all the eggs. Don Guan vowed to kill all evil dragons, especially green ones.
However, he realised that his power fell short when confronted with such a mighty creature. He came to the conclusion that only with preperation and tactics he would be able to slay these migjty beasts. So he became a Conquest Paladin in service of The Red Knight.
Any help with further developing his backstory is much appreciated!

Consider this added! (I would not blame you for not reading this entire thread, as it's obviously not required! Heh!) - But I have used a reoccurring Green Dragon in several people's stories as a way to tie what I call "The Tawmis-Verse" (that many of these character histories are all intertwined in the same world idea; naturally not required, but nothing about anyone else's origin is mandatory to yours - but just that little extra challenge for me to push myself a little harder and make it feel like a woven story happening in the same world). So, using a Green Dragon for your main "villain" will be really easy!

[Foxydono]

Thanks! And if you are able to intertwine the character into your already existing world, that would be awesome :)

[richardbob123]

Name: Igris
Gender: Male
Race: Githyanki
Alignment: Chaotic neutral
Class:barbarian path of the beast for one of the new ua
Background: far traveller
and the thing is that the ancient animal spirit that dwells within him, is not a normal creature but one what was native to the Astral Plane

[Tawmis]

Name: Igris
Gender: Male
Race: Githyanki
Alignment: Chaotic neutral
Class:barbarian path of the beast for one of the new ua
Background: far traveller
and the thing is that the ancient animal spirit that dwells within him, is not a normal creature but one what was native to the Astral Plane

Consider this added - did you have an animal in mind from the Astral Plane?

Removed as this is too much!

You're silly if you think you got away from removing it! I save all requests in a file so that I know what order they're in - and since you sponsored me via donation - yours (like others who have donated!) gets to jump to the front of the line! So that said...

One of the other players really, really wants to play a wizard, so I have decided to alter my character a little. There are some similarities with Kelwyn (particularly mechanically), as personality-wise the new wizard is going to be very different. If you have time and inclination, I would love to see what you could make of this! I've tried to put a little more effort into giving you some base material to work with...
This is for a homebrew campaign where the world is being created as we go along. The history below has been developed in conjunction with the DM, and he's very happy for us to bring anything to the table so don't worry about just making stuff up!
Aendir Whitestar
Human arcana cleric (hermit)
22 years old
Neutral good

Str 8
Dex 14
Con 14
Int 12
Wis 16
Cha 10

Skills: Perception, insight, religion, medicine, history, arcana
Languages: Common, elvish, celestial
Features: Spellcasting, divine domain (arcana), life of seclusion
Proficiencies: Herbalism kit
Spells: Shillelagh, thorn whip, guidance, light, sacred flame, green flame blade, booming blade, absorb elements, bless, healing word, cure wounds, guiding bolt, detect magic, magic missile
Personality traits: I feel tremendous empathy for all who suffer. I might fail, but I will never give up.
Ideal: My gifts are meant to be shared with all, not used for my own benefit.
Bond: Those who destroyed the monastery are still hunting me. I must someday confront them.
Flaw: I'd risk too much to uncover a lost bit of knowledge.

Campaign history: Many hundreds of years ago there was a great war between the living and the dead. On the one side was the god of death, and on the other all his siblings. At the climax of the last battle the gods imprisoned their brother, but in the aftermath the goddess of magic could not be found. Hundreds of years passed. Arcane magic still continued to function for mortals, and gradually her name - and even her very existence - was forgotten by all but the oldest of the elves.

Character history: Aendir was found as a baby on the steps of an elven monastery, high in the mountains. The elves raised him as one of their own, and despite occasional difficulties in raising someone who aged so fast, and one of the monks, Paelias, adopted him as his own son. There were also several younger elves there, who became fast friends with Aendir - particularly one young woman named Shanairra.

The monastery was dedicated to the memory of the goddess of magic, and the monks went through the rituals to honour her every day at dawn and dusk. One evening Aendir stepped into line and began to follow them, tracing the steps and singing the words, and the atmosphere began to change. Where he walked, a faint line of white fire appeared, and as the ritual finished there was a faint whisper on the air: "Find me". The goddess was alive.

From that day forward, Aendir began to train his mind and body to go out into the world and find out what happened to the goddess. But the day came sooner than he thought. One night he was woken by the sound of shouting, and Paelias burst into his room. Rising swiftly he was lead down to the depths of the monastery where a secret passage led to the outside world. Pressing some equipment into his hands and placing his holy symbol over his head, Paelias gave him some last advice: "Never take this off. Stay hidden, find allies, and gather power to protect yourself. Darkness is coming. Now run." Aendir obeyed, stumbling down the passage until he finally reached the surface. Looking back, he saw the monastery - the only home he had ever known - aflame in the cold night air.

Some thoughts on the character: Aendir is scared and alone, but deep inside him hides a will of steel. Having been raised in the monastery he can be a little shy around lots of people, especially the hustle and bustle of a human city. He blossoms in smaller groups, however, and loves to stay up late into the night chatting over a glass of fine wine.

He keeps his holy symbol concealed and often pretends to be a wizard's apprentice. There are so many mysteries in his life he currently feels a bit overwhelmed and doesn't know where to start sorting things out - who attacked the monastery? Are they still chasing him? Did any of those he loved escape the attack? How does he start seeking his goddess? And who were his real parents? He has therefore resolved to take Paelias's advice for now and seek out adventures to challenge his skills, hopefully making some trustworthy allies on the way.

I did end up naming your goddess of magic and god of death (you can strike those out if you want, or rename them - just helped me in my writing to know who I was writing about)
But I made it so that only the people of the monastery knew either name; and that both had been stricken from the history books and memories of everyone else.
I also had the character develop a love interest with said friend; to really add the punch of what happens to the monastery.
As always! Enjoy! And I'd love some feedback if you have any!
=============================================

It had been a fine Summer morning when as Paelias, an Elven Monk of the Kor’Reyan Mountains heard a faint sound befall his ears. He turned his head ever so slightly and closed his eyes, forcing all the normal sounds of nature he’d been accustomed to hearing, to focus solely on the one sound that had seemed strangely out of place.

It sounded like a child crying. Unusual, for sure, Paelias thought, because in the Kor’Reyan Monastery, there were no young children – and certainly no – but the sounds of it – infants. Paelias quickly sprinted across the courtyard and opened the towering doors of the Monastery and found a young human infant, wrapped in cloth, sitting on the step to the great Monastery. Without giving it much thought, he quickly scooped the child into his arms and looked around – there’d been no one else around. Not even when he pushed all of nature’s sound from his ears to listen only to fleeing footprints – there was nothing. Yet, the child looked as if he’d just been set down before Paelias arrived; there was no frost on the blankets and the child was warm. “Well, little Aendir,” Paelias named the infant an ancient Elven word meaning ‘the gift’, “it would seem someone has placed you at our steps as a gift.”

While many of the other Monks of the Monastery had advised Paelias to take the child down the mountain to be raised in the nearby town of Vaul’halla, Paelias argued that the child had been left with them for a reason; and that he alone would take responsibility for the child, if he must.

Due to his human heritage, Aendir grew far quicker than elves, and as the years progressed, by the age of four, Aendir was mimicking Paelias during his mediation rituals as well as when he practiced honing his body and Ki. By the age of eight, Aendir had befriended a teenage Monk, fairly new to the Monastery herself named Shanairra.

By the age of thirteen, the friendship Aendir had felt for Shanairra had developed into more. They flirted with one another quite a bit; Shanairra was drawn to Aendir because he was different than the others – he was human. He was, as a result, in some ways, more mature than the other young Elves who had been training. While they had remained focused to the learning of the Monastery, Shanairra herself enjoyed the attention and distractions that Aendir provided.

It’d been one night, just after one of the training sessions, where both Aendir and Shanairra had been sitting up on the northern guard tower, gazing up at the stars that Shanairra finally asked how Aendir had come to the Monastery.

Aendir provided the details that, according to Paelias, he’d simply been found on the steps of the Kor’Reyan Monastery. He had no memory of his mother or father, or why he’d been abandoned, but he was thankful to have been found and raised by Paelias who showed him nothing but love and respect; and because, in the end, it had allowed him to meet Shanairra. Her cheeks flushed red. Just as Aendir was leaning over to kiss her soft, ample lips, Paelias appeared behind them and coughed loudly, startling them both to their feet.

“Perhaps you should return to your rooms,” he said with a stern voice, but could not hide his smile, no matter how hard he’d tried.

As Shanairra quickly scampered down the stone stairway, Aendir tried to also leave; but Paelias placed his hand on his shoulder, stopping him. “You’ve been watching me at our home, as I train myself. And I’ve seen you, from the window, watching Shanairra. Perhaps you would officially like to train to become a Monk as well? I feel you are old enough now, Aendir.”

“I would like that,” Aendir replied, if only so he could be around Shanairra more.

The next day, Aendir was standing on the mat, one row behind Shanairra. She kept glancing back and smiling at Aendir, glad he’d decided that the path of the Monk was his future. Paelias paced back and forth in the front, his arms folded behind his back. “We must all know the history and the reason for which this Monastery stands. Hundreds of years ago there was a great war between the living and the dead. On the one side stood Graun, the god of death, lord and master over his other siblings. For reasons unknown, Graun had decided to betray his fellow gods in an attempt to kill them all. We have speculated that perhaps, he had sought to become the One God, which would harness the power of all the gods. In the end, his siblings, who had been fighting with one another, realized that Graun was the one true threat, and came together against him. They had, in the end, managed to stop Graun and imprisoned him into The Void – but in the aftermath of it all, Graun had succeeded in killing many of his siblings and one such tragic loss was the goddess of Magic herself, Allana, for there’d been no sign of her when they gathered around the entrance of the Void to slam the door shut. Hundreds of years passed. Arcane magic still continued to function for mortals, and gradually her name - and even her very existence - was forgotten by all but the oldest of the elves. We are the preservation of her name; high up in these mountains – we are close to the Heavens for which this war waged. Below, in the world, speaking her name – no one remembers her. We keep this Monastery alive for her; until she is found, and her name returned to the mortal world.”

After a moment of silence, which was tradition, after this daily speech, the training began.

As Aendir began to follow the motions and steps and gestures, the very air around him crackled with energy. Each sweep of his arm or leg, created a white light, similar to a white star falling through the heavens, and soon he heard the words, “Find me…” gently whispered in his ears.

Having seen the magic crackling around him, Paelias stopped the training, shocked. “Come forward, Aendir.”

Timid and shy to have attention drawn to him, Paelias touched Aendir on the forehead. “You have earned a surname this morning. You are Aendir Whitestar. And child, you are far more than what you appear to be.”

Paelias looked up, “The rest of today’s class will be cancelled. Go on and return to your rooms and practice honing your Ki. Aendir, come with me.”

As Paelias and Aendir walked, Paelias looked down at him. “Today during the class, you were not channeling Ki energy. That was different. That felt and looked like magic. How did you do that?”

“I don’t know,” Aendir shrugged.

“Listen to me,” Paelias urged. “Wizards take years out of their life learning to channel magic. You’ve never been trained by a Wizard. This tells me that this is coming from somewhere else. Perhaps influenced by the gods.”

“I heard a woman’s voice,” Aendir admitted. “She whispered ‘find me.’”

Paelias stopped. “It can’t be.” He shook his head. “Aendir, do you realize what … who you are?”

Clearly confused by it all, Aendir simply shook his head.

“I believe Allana herself has granted you her power,” Paelias explained. “You are an arcane cleric, magically infused by the goddess herself.”

“But that’s not possible,” Aendir retorted. “You told me yourself, that she’d been long forgotten and that there are no clerics of Allana.”

“There are none,” he admitted. “No one but us here in the Monastery even know her name. Aendir, she is alive – and she has bestowed her gift upon you to find her and return her to the Heavens. You cannot refuse this quest.”

Aendir spent the next six weeks, removed from the class, and forced to stay in the Great Library of the Monastery where he poured through page after page of forgotten lore about the gods and the Great War, and where he also learned information about Allana herself.

However, Aendir’s life would take a dark turn on the seventh week. While studying down in the Great Library, he heard loud booming sounds which snapped him out of his reading. The sounds continued, and were soon followed by alarms, shouting, screaming, and even what sounded like howling and people dying. Aendir slammed the tome shut and was just about to run up the stairs, when Paelias appeared, running down the stairs.

He was cut up, bleeding, and out of breath. He looked around the Great Library and opened up a tome whose pages were false and inside was a symbol – the same symbol that Aendir had seen in the tomes he’d been reading – it was the forgotten symbol of Allana. He shoved it into Aendir’s hand and breathed heavily, “Take this. Stay hidden. Find allies. Gather power to protect yourself. Darkness is coming.” He grabbed Aendir’s hand and forced him down a row of books until they came to a wall, where he pressed a lever. A secret passage opened. “Go,” Paelias demanded.

“But what about you,” Aendir asked, and his mind wandered to Shanairra as well.

“I must close the passage behind you, you are all that matters,” Paelias said, giving Aendir a shove into the corridor. The floor was slippery and Aendir found himself unable to stand, now sliding down the twisting and turning, smooth cavern before landing in a body of water. The underground river swept him away, and from there, he plunged from a small waterfall, into another river, out in the open now – his first time outside of the Monastery. He gasped and choked for air as he swam to the shore and looked up, miles away, he could see the Monastery, and it had a faint red glow, as if it were burning down.

He’d wanted to run back – help Paelias and Shanairra – but he couldn’t. He had a feeling in his heart that he should listen to Paelias, and that the goddess Allana may protect those he loved. Putting the symbol under his sleeve, Aendir climbed out of the water, his tears mixed with the water from the river.

[Svantis]

I've actually never played a Divination Wizard, so this was new to me - to see how to make it fit.
It was a dangerous balance of making your character sound like a Sorcerer rather than a Cleric turned Divination Wizard with how I described him.
You didn't provide a name - so I just created one (Talaron Skytree) that you can change to fit your character.
I added some lore of (Speaker of the Moon, Crescent of the Moon) these can be changed to whatever you want them to be... I was just thinking something High-Elf sounding... reminds me very much of Dragonlance (I think in Dragonlance it's Speaker of the Stars? I need to re-read the books!)
Hopefully you enjoy it!
(And I leave it up to you and the DM, in regards to his trainer Phey, as to what he is... is he a High-Elf... or is he more?)
Feedback, as always, is appreciated! Keeps the thread alive and bumped!
Enjoy!
============================

As an heir to the Speaker of the Moon, Talaron Skytree was expected to be blessed by the gods. Descendants of the Speaker were always the “Chosen Voices” of the gods to bring the message of the deities to mortal ears.

At the age of six, Talaron Skytree began having unusual dreams of an elegant and beautiful woman visiting him, assuring him that he was destined for greatness. Perhaps it had been the constant frequency for which she would go on to visit his dreams, or perhaps it was the fact he did not enjoy the idea that his own destiny was in his hand, or it could have been the fact that he was a High Elf, and like many of his people, he was simply too arrogant to be someone’s servant – and to that of a deity.

Being a descendant of the Speaker of the Moon blessed his bloodline with magic, which Talaron was already displaying by the age of eight. He was capable of healing wounds as well as causing lights and torches to flicker and dance.

During the Ceremony that would have officially made Talaron one of the Crescent of the Moon – meaning he would be one of the few to be eligible of becoming the next Speaker of the Moon when the time came – however, Talaron renounced his position to the utter shock and gasp of the others.

Talaron would focus on taking short rests so that the goddess who frequented his dreams had minimal opportunities to speak to him.

His father was furious – but Talaron demanded that he find his own destiny. He entered the Academy of the Magi, and with his touch of magic began to learn how to shape his magic as Wizard might, rather than be restricted to the words and demands of the gods, such as Clerics.

Talaron’s instructor, a High Elf with flaming red hair and green eyes (like the woman who haunted his dreams) looked at him and smiled, “Many seek the counsel of a diviner, for all seek a clearer understanding of the past, present, and future. As a diviner, you will strive to part the veils of space, time, and consciousness so that you can see clearly. You work to master spells of discernment, remote viewing, supernatural knowledge, and foresight. And,” his instructor smiled, “perhaps find the path of one’s destiny – and perhaps, along the way – find your own.”

Talaron’s instructor, Phey, continued to allude to destiny during each training session, to where Talaron began to question if Phey was all that he appeared to be or something more.

Thanks man, I love it <3

[richardbob123]

Consider this added - did you have an animal in mind from the Astral Plane?

i don't mind which kind of animal you choose, the one thing i think it should be is a predator

[Jaryn]

You're silly if you think you got away from removing it!

Ha! Sorry - thought I was being too cheeky asking for an alteration, and particularly dumping a whole load of information in the post.

Anyway, as far as feedback goes you really brought the story to life - it's absolutely what I was after and one of my favorite backgrounds so far. I really like the development of a love interest as well as the adopted father. Lots of hooks for the DM to get their teeth into!

I will probably advance the age of the character a little more as it progresses towards the critical couple of incidents, as I definitely see them as being a bit older than 13-14 when they're adventuring, but that is super easily done.

You got the feel of Paelias and the monastery just right; there's a real sense of place. Thank you as always. Very excited to step into Aendir's shoes now.

[Tawmis]

Thanks man, I love it <3

The pleasure was mine!

i don't mind which kind of animal you choose, the one thing i think it should be is a predator

I was envisioning a Displacer Beast. Thoughts?

Ha! Sorry - thought I was being too cheeky asking for an alteration, and particularly dumping a whole load of information in the post.

Anyway, as far as feedback goes you really brought the story to life - it's absolutely what I was after and one of my favorite backgrounds so far. I really like the development of a love interest as well as the adopted father. Lots of hooks for the DM to get their teeth into!

I will probably advance the age of the character a little more as it progresses towards the critical couple of incidents, as I definitely see them as being a bit older than 13-14 when they're adventuring, but that is super easily done.

You got the feel of Paelias and the monastery just right; there's a real sense of place. Thank you as always. Very excited to step into Aendir's shoes now.

This was an absolute blast. Would love to hear about your gaming sessions!

[richardbob123]

I was envisioning a Displacer Beast. Thoughts?

That's ok with me

[Man_Over_Game]

I got a tough one for you, Tawmis.

A slaver that was once evil, became good through a Conquest Paladin teaching him how to understand why evil is "wrong". That is, the character was force-fed their own medicine until they realized the error of their ways.

Now the character serves the chapter of Paladins that does the same, inflicting Evil upon Evil in a last attempt to strip away everything until desperation overcomes malice.

One particular aspect of the chapter is that they all have a level of self-loathing of who they are/were, and inflicting pain on those that deserve it is considered a form of penance. Not only are they to constantly inflict the same horrors they so loathe, but they do so on reflections of themselves. More often than not their actions fail, as violence and fear rarely produces anything but futility. That futility is another lesson, that you're to struggle against it and your other failures, until you're finally able to reveal worth in your actions (as you produce another Paladin to the order, and so are promoted).

To summarize, the chapter uses fairly abusive teachings in order to get a bunch of badguys to hate themselves enough to become a self-sustaining pyramid scheme of self-loathing. Occasionally, they accidentally find a diamond amidst a coal mine of slain badguys.

If possible, I'd like the story to focus on the moment the character changes. The epiphany, that *click*, that changes him from captive to paladin.

It's a bit open-ended, with names, and whatnot, but I wanted it to be whatever fits best for your storytelling.