Silly Plots 3: With government backing we can make it very silly

[Deathkeeper]

Erik's Eatery

Jade only looked away for a moment, but somehow someone else joined her at her table during that moment. How she didn't see him get there is a mystery, given his size. Her guest is a young man in his early twenties, with short black hair, pointed lupine ears, and a very impressive physique (which is obvious since he isn't wearing a shirt). If she looks down she might also note that below the waist he is a very large black wolf. There is a strange air around him, something otherworldly. The grass and flowers in the planter behind them almost seem taller than when Jade arrived.
"Well, you seem to have had quite the month." he says with a wolfish grin.

[bc56]

"Huh? Oh, yes, the last two months have been something." Jade seems a bit surprised by the wolfish stranger's sudden appearance. Hey, isn't he kinda... Hot? No. Bad Jade. Don't think about that. She pushes those thoughts out of her mind. "Who are you? I'm Jade."

[Deathkeeper]

[Erik's Eatery]

"I'm Walter. Charmed." he tells her.
Jade's waiter sees Walter's bare back and starts to protest about it, but a glare from the man sends the waiter into the back, fiddling with the buttons on his shirt.
"How have you been faring with all that 'something?' You know, you remind me a lot of my sister." Walter continues.

[bc56]

Jade gives the retreating waiter a quizzical look. What just happened to him to make him run off like that? "I've learned to live with it. It's not so bad once you get used to it," she replies to the inquiry. "Your sister? What's she like?"

[Deathkeeper]

Erik's Eatery

"My sister is a lot like me." Walter responds, snickering at a joke that Jade isn't privy to.
"She's had your problem before, sort of. Centauress. Sometimes self-conscious about her proportions. Had a short-lived career fighting crime, or was that me? Eh, both of us. Still thinks she wouldn't look good with ears like mine, even though she's wrong. She would have been adorable with horse ears." Walter looks at Jade, as if considering something.

[bc56]

"So why are you here, talking to me?" Jade asks. She doesn't like that look. The one that seems to indicate that he's sizing her up for something. Even if she didn't suspect he was a mysterious, powerful entity, that look means trouble. Maybe he's just planning to change her ears, and deciding what would look best on her? That would be the safest thing he could be doing. And it seems likely.

[Deathkeeper]

[Erik's Eatery]

"That's 'cause I'm bored. Did you know I've been doing my thing for years now, and not a single person has ever asked me for a favor in the summer? That and the curse on you smells like Libra. Trust me, you got my sympathy there. So like..." he pauses to consider.
"You've got your stuff sorted. It's all starting to calm down. Are you sure there's nothing you want? Nothing you feel like you're missing? Felt like I should offer, you having to deal with the stuff that I did, sort of."

[bc56]

This is a bad idea. This is a bad idea. But Jade feels like she should do it. After all, even after she's gotten used to being a woman, there's one complaint she's still had. "I honestly don't mind being a woman, but I would like to be taller. I always feel so short nowadays." This was a bad idea. Don't powerful entities always twist these deals so you regret it?

[Deathkeeper]

[Erik's Eatery]

Walter's face lights up.
"Oh, sure thing. One super tall lady, coming up!" he announces cheerily! Jade will likely feel dizzy, and hungry, and all sorts of sensations as her legs and hindquarters rapidly expand into the body of a beautiful brown warhorse mare. She's now very tall indeed, towering over most of the other patrons when she stands up. And can hear all sorts of things with her new ears! And she can also smell and digest all sorts of things she couldn't before. All some of the many perks to being a centauress. Walter grins wide, showing his canines.
"You look great." he says sincerely.

[bc56]

Jade feels funny. Her pants are getting oddly tight. Something's definitely happening. Then suddenly, they give way under the strain, tearing apart as an equine body explodes out of them. "Gah!" Jade shouts, knocking several chairs over in her surprise. "What did you do to me?" That's pretty obvious just from looking, honestly. She stares at her new lower body in shock. Her ears feel funny too. One hand cautiously goes up to her head to feel the horse ears there. Oh, she hopes this isn't permanent like the last transformation she had. This one is a lot more inconvenient.

[Deathkeeper]

Erik's Eatery

"I made you a centaur, just like me and sis! That's pretty much the tallest thing I can make someone besides like, one of those extra-large minotaurs. I knew you'd look great." Walter nods, clearly pleased with himself.

[bc56]

Jade stamps a hoof, producing a loud clopping sound on the tile floor. "I get that, and it's a nice gesture, but couldn't you have made me taller without all this?" She gestures to her horse half. She then takes a few steps away from the table. It feels a bit weird to walk with four legs, but whatever magic was used on her must help her know how to do it without thinking. "This is going to make a lot of things harder on me. Moving stealthily, climbing ladders, going through doors. And I'm going to have to redesign my armor again." She sounds frustrated with that. She just redesigned the armor for her female figure, and now she'll need to accommodate a horse butt as well. But wow, she is tall. Taller than she ever was as a man. "Thank you, I guess. It's not really what I wanted," she finishes.

[Deathkeeper]

Erik’s Eatery

Walter puts a hand to his chin.
”Oh, would a wolf like me have been better than horse? We’re a lot better at being quiet. I could still try something two-legged? Horse-satyrs are leggy enough to still be pretty tall. I didn’t think you’d like the minotaur look, though. They can be sneakier than you’d think.” he seems pretty unconcerned.
”Farms and homesteads are my thing. I have trouble working magic if hooves, paws, or plants aren’t involved. Besides, you said tall. I thought you wanted tall.”

[bc56]

"It would be a little better," Jade answers reluctantly, "But really, rather than all this animal stuff, I'd like to be human. Able to wear pants and fit through doors without ducking, and climb ladders." She seems a little sheepish about that though. "Sorry about this. I guess I don't think centaurdom is for me."

[Deathkeeper]

Erik’s Eatery

Walter certainly seems put out.
”But, but, we got used to all of those things. It’s really nice when you get used to it, promise.” He seems genuinely upset.
”Are you sure you wouldn’t even take a satyr build? They can do all of those things just fine! And you’d still have a cute tail.”

[bc56]

Jade is starting to feel a little pity for the farm god. He really was just trying to do something nice for her. "I'm sorry." She thinks for a moment. She must be able to cheer this guy up somehow. "Tell you what. How about I try this out for a while and then contact you again. That way, even if I still decide to go back, I at least gave it a try, right?" She hopes that will make him feel better.

[Deathkeeper]

Erik’s Eatery

”Oh, yeah, sure. And just so you know, you’re in my wheelhouse now so if you need anything, I’m your minor god! Just shoot me a prayer, okay? And think about the satyr thing!” he stands up. If she doesn’t want him to vanish right there she ought to say something.

[bc56]

Aaaand he's gone. Jade's left there, still a little bewildered, and hungry. Shoot! She should have asked him what centaurs are supposed to eat! Oh well. She polishes off her sandwich quickly, still wanting more. Maybe the hunger is a result of her sudden increase in body mass? She soon leaves the restaurant at a slow trot, in search of something to satisfy the specific, unfamiliar craving she has. What is it she's hungering for?

[5a Violista]

Honeysuckle's suggestion immediately makes Marin perk up: "Okay!" Yeah, that immediately makes her feel not useless.
She looks over that way, trying to spot the telltale steam signature of the spirit.
"I should probably wait until we've got the medicine, right?" she asks. "'cause I'm not really sure what exactly to tell her."


In fact!
There is one in town.
Actually, there's two in town. One is a bigger pharmacy chain that has pretty much anything you'll need ever, and the other is a smaller, local pharmacy ran by a local witch. The pharmacy chain store is located over by the train station, and the smaller one is actually closer to the mountain they're at now: basically at the base of the mountain. So, going there will be a much shorter trip, and you'll have to pass by it to get to downtown, anyway.

"Good luck," Marin wishes to Jade.

[Rebonack]

[Jade's Magical Horse Adventure]

That probably counts in both senses. A magical adventure that involves horses and being a magical horse.

Gosh the Nexus is weird sometimes.

As she's trying to make sense of the incomprehensible strange that she just got wholloped with her phone buzzes to indicate she just got a message.

Bling!

Should she check the messaging app there will be a picture of a small article in one of Inside's newspapers. A New Botanical Hero is on the Block! There's a picture of Morning Glory in her Horsetail costume duking it out with some jewel thieves. And of course there's some text as well.

Spoiler: Message

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>DitzeeDoo: horsetail made it into the paper! so cool sparklyeyes.gif

Well.

It sounds like Morning Glory is having a better day than Jade is.

[Deathkeeper]

Leaving Erik's

Jade passes by a farmer's market on the way out of Erik's. It wasn't much of notice before, but now that she has half a ton of horse to feed, it's a lot more interesting. She may find herself looking at all the veggies and the stalls peddling feed for cows and horses to suddenly be a lot more interesting indeed.
She might even find herself eyeing the grass on the street planters. But everyone knows centaurs don't just go around eating people's lawns. You don't know where that grass has been, Jade. And you'll look like a weirdo!

[bc56]

Jade finds herself staring at one of the vegetable stalls. She's so hungry, and that food looks so good. She's even starting to think the grass looks tasty. She takes out her purse and buys a bag of carrots. They taste better than she could've predicted. A few minutes trot through the market, the carrots are nearly gone, and Jade is purchasing a bag of apples. She sends a text back to Morning Glory.

Spoiler: Message

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>JFish: That's great! Congrats!

After a second, she sends another.

Spoiler: Message

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>JFish: Can you meet with me? Something weird happened.

Morning Glory probably understands horse stuff. She can help fill Jade in on her present condition.

[Rebonack]

[Jade's Magical Horse Adventure]

Another message pops up almost immediately after Jade's first reply. Morning Glory was probably already in the process of typing it.

How the heck does she type with hooves for hands, anyway?

Spoiler: Message

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>DitzeeDoo: really like the anoimous part. get to help people and no one knows it was u. its great

There's a bit more of a pause before the next message BING!s up.

Spoiler: Message

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>DitzeeDoo: sure where do u want to meet? and when? like right now?

The third comes much more quickly.

Spoiler: Message

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>DitzeeDoo: what kind of weird r u ok? concern.jpg

Hmm. Sounds like Morning Glory is available.

[bc56]

Spoiler: Message

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>JFish: Anonymity is pretty great. Protects your friends.

She looks around.

Spoiler: Message

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>JFish: Farmer's market on Market Street.

She takes a bite out of the second to last carrot.

Spoiler: Message

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>JFish: A new transformation. Friendly god had an unusual idea of how to help. Could use your advice.

She adds another afterthought.

Spoiler: Message

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>JFish: MG you, not Z you.

[Rebonack]

[Jade's Magical Horse Adventure]

Spoiler: Message

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>DitzeeDoo: ok give me a minute.

A minute passes.

Then two.

Apparently she wasn't being literal.

Then there's... a feeling. A sort of formless fear, an intense unease. That feeling like there's a tiger lurking in the grass nearby, watching you. The feeling of something large, unseen, and dangerous just beyond the edge of sight. And it isn't just Jade, either. Nearly everyone in the market suddenly looks over their shoulder. It is behind them? What the heck IS that?

Just as quickly the feeling passes and a few moments later an earth pony mare with a sandy brown coat and forest green mane and tail comes trotting out from a nearby alley. She's wearing her saddlebags again, custom embroidered with her own personal glyph. A little white trumpet-shaped flower surrounded by a golden glow. She's wearing a straw sun-hat for some shade on such a bright, sunny summer day.

She also looks concerned, her steely blue eyes doing a mostly good job of hiding an undercurrent of smouldering rage. There's a fire in there that could burn the sky.

"Who did this to you? Was it Libra again?" Morning Glory asks, a slight tremor in her voice. "It isn't permanent, is it?"

[bc56]

Wow. Morning Glory looks angry
"Libra? No, it was some guy named Walter. Yeah, I can get it removed whenever. He was so upset when I said I didn't like it, I promised him I'd try it out for a while and call him if I still wanted to go back." Maybe that was too kind of her. "I figured I'd give it a couple days. I don't want to offend him, but this will really mess with things, so I can't leave it too long." She takes another bite of her carrot, now the last one. "In the meantime, I guess I need some advice."

[Rebonack]

[Jade's Magical Horse Adventure]

"Walter?" Morning Glory echoes.

Does she know a Walter?

She doesn't think she knows a Walter. Was that Willa's brother? If so, then this might be Libra adjacent.

With the anger draining away Morning is trying to do her best here not to be squicked out by Jade's new centaur shape. It's like you decapitated someone and then stuck some other person's torso on their neck stump.

Ugh.

Creepy.

"Okay, well, if it isn't permanent I guess it's... kind of okay?" Morning Glory admits. She's getting the feeling that Jade was pressured into this to some degree. "Yeah... Inconvenient is an understatement. Equestrians can still do-"

She rears up on her hind hooves, takes off her hat with one hoof (somehow), and does a reasonably graceful two-legged curtsy.

"-bipedal stuff but it starts hurting my back after a while."

Back on her hat goes and she drops back to all-fours.

"But a centaur? Legs all over the place. Being that big will be awkward. Do you even have the material to... uh... tailor your suit to that shape?" she asks, clearly referring to Jade's armor. "What kind of advice do you need?"

[bc56]

"I could get the material to do it, but it would take around a week, and I'm not sure how I'd design it to fit around this." Jade gestures to her horse half. "The advice? I guess I just need to learn what I should do now, as a..." How does she say this without accidentally being insulting? "... A horse. Well, half of one. Should I have special clothes? How do I care for my lower half? Do I have dietary needs now?"" She polishes off the last carrot, leaves and all, for emphasis.

[Rebonack]

[Jade's Magical Horse Adventure]

Morning Glory's ears go flat.

"I'm not a horse, I don't know horse-things," she says, her tone a bit dead-pan. Then a sigh and a tail-flick. "Okay, I'm being unfair. Horse is... kind of a slur for equestrians. Like calling humans apes. It's disparaging but you didn't know that."

She trots in a circle around Jade, looking her over.

"I guess you have two totally different digestive systems? I guess that makes sense for a centaur? So you probably need to eat human stuff AND horse stuff. Horses are big so they probably eat a whole lot. Of... you know. Horse stuff. Alfalfa and oats and things. You would probably want like... a robe or something? Something to drape over you back half if you don't want to run around seventy five percent naked. Depending on how long this lasts you'll probably want a curry comb to remove fluff. All the concrete and stone is hard on hooves, so shoes are a good idea too. I mostly use rubberized ones."

Morning Glory lifts up one of her front legs, showing off a rubber-soled pony-shoe.

"The nails on pony shoes are really short, mostly to just help us grip them. I think actual horse-shoes use WAY longer nails."

A beat.

"Do you know how long this is going to last?"

She definitely sounds concerned.

Did this creep mess with her friend's mind, too? Or just her butt?

[bc56]

"Oh, sorry." Jade didn't know. Now she does. Her own horse ears flick in irritation. "I can call the guy and ask to have it removed whenever." There's no rush, not if it can be undone at will. "He meant well, he just went a bit overboard. He seemed so enthusiastic, and so upset when I didn't like it." As for the question of her mind being altered, well, she can walk normally despite having four legs for the first time, and has cravings for fresh vegetables and even grass. That sounds a bit like her mind has been at least slightly altered to interface easily with her new hardware. But she doesn't seem happy to be a centaur, nor does she seem to be acting different than before. But she has some more questions. She looks skeptically at the horseshoe. "Does it hurt?" She doesn't really like the idea of stabbing long metal nails into her foot. "As I said, I'm planning to let it last a couple days. I guess I'll just try to enjoy it for that long, then talk to him again."