Fyraltari's Furiously Farcical Random Banter Thread #247

[TaiLiu]

Yup! Based on Rei's fire, it's very sweet!

For sure. What are you planning to hang on it?

[LaZodiac]

For sure. What are you planning to hang on it?

Well currently, on my wall where an old bowling league runner-up plaque was. Later on our alledged Christmas Tree if Dad ever gets time off to start putting it up. Then back onto my wall!

[Anonymouswizard]

I decided to join the local gym to help myself lose weight. Now the people there were very supportive, and not even skipped the personal trainer flogging when they realised I already had a plan for the first few months.

The local clothing and sports shops? Not a single basic t-shirt to pick up, and why would anybody over an Extra Large want exercise clothes? That would be ridiculous! (I do have some old exercise shorts, but I'm fairly certain I'm now too fat for them.)

That's my first session delayed until I can find a decent shop, so maybe half a month...

[Batcathat]

Assuming you know roughly what size you want, couldn't you just buy them online?

[Anonymouswizard]

Assuming you know roughly what size you want, couldn't you just buy them online?

Yes, but that'll still be a week of gym membership I'm paying for but not using.

[Peelee]

I decided to join the local gym to help myself lose weight. Now the people there were very supportive, and not even skipped the personal trainer flogging when they realised I already had a plan for the first few months.

The local clothing and sports shops? Not a single basic t-shirt to pick up, and why would anybody over an Extra Large want exercise clothes? That would be ridiculous! (I do have some old exercise shorts, but I'm fairly certain I'm now too fat for them.)

That's my first session delayed until I can find a decent shop, so maybe half a month...

Advice my trainer gave me when i mentioned that losing weight would be a nice by-product of the conditioning he was helping me with: you get stronger in the gym, you lose weight in the kitchen.

[Rater202]

Advice my trainer gave me when i mentioned that losing weight would be a nice by-product of the conditioning he was helping me with: you get stronger in the gym, you lose weight in the kitchen.

You lose weight by burning more calories than you take in.

A proper diet is expensive.

Established fat is unlikely to let go—in fact, if you make a drastic change to your diet the fat might not burn off at all because your body thinks that you'v entered a starvation period and needs the fat as a reserve.

After a while, the only reasonable option to lose more weight is to get more exercise.

Your trainer has a point in that a lot of people don't want to change their diets, but saying "lol, you lose weight in the kitchen" every time someone mentions trying to get more exercise to lose weight comes across as very condescending.

[TaiLiu]

Well currently, on my wall where an old bowling league runner-up plaque was. Later on our alledged Christmas Tree if Dad ever gets time off to start putting it up. Then back onto my wall!

Oh, cool! I didn’t know you were part of a bowling league.

Yes, but that'll still be a week of gym membership I'm paying for but not using.

You should go to the gym and exercise naked while covered in olive oil. If anyone complains, tell them they’re being insensitive to your ancient Greek heritage.

[Rater202]

....Doesn't Gymnasium literally come from a Greek word that means "exercise naked?"

[TaiLiu]

....Doesn't Gymnasium literally come from a Greek word that means "exercise naked?"

Yup!

“Mx. Wizard, we have a clothing policy—”
“Don’t any of you have respect for etymology? What would Plato say?”

[LaZodiac]

Oh, cool! I didn’t know you were part of a bowling league.

It was like a billion years ago when I was a child, and I don't remember anything about it, so I don't talk about it much.

[Metastachydium]

“Don’t any of you have respect for etymology? What would Plato say?”

"Plato? 'It's okay to ogle and get handsy once in a while', probably. And we happen to have a policy about that as well."

[Rater202]

...If I ran a gym I'd do everything in my power to make it so that joining required signing a legally binding contract that stipulated that membership would be null and void, with no refund, if a member was caught filming another gym patron without their consent, brought in a professional looking camera, or tried to set up professional lighting around the equipment.

If I had a nickel for every time I've seen a video of an influencer having a meltdown because someone walked into their shot at the gym, or 'pranking' people at the gym, or called random passer-byes "gym creeps" or "perves" because they briefly glanced at someone who was making a spectacle of themselves as they walked by... I wouldn't have a lot of nickels, but I feel like I'd have too many.

Like if you pull out your phone to get a quick shot of your gym buddy absolutely destroying the machine and they're okay with it that's fine but if you're only at the gym for soc-med clout don't come to my hypothetical one.

[Anonymouswizard]

Advice my trainer gave me when i mentioned that losing weight would be a nice by-product of the conditioning he was helping me with: you get stronger in the gym, you lose weight in the kitchen.

I mean, I'm exercising because I'd like to be more healthy, of which losing weight is a big part of but not everything. Exercising will help me lose weight, but mostly get my mindset in the right place that I'm willing to put in the effort to eat well.


Sadly despite the olive skin I don't have the established ancestry to successfully claim Greek heritage

[Peelee]

You lose weight by burning more calories than you take in.

Yes. And it is trivially easy to take in more calories than you burn in exercise, especially when starting out.

A proper diet is expensive.

No. What you specifically consider a "proper diet" might be expensive, but that's hardly the only option, not to mention one could just as easily say "a gym membership and personal trainer and commuting is expensive" - sure, that's true, but that's not the only way to go about it. You can stick to the foods you are already eating anyway and eat less of it, (which is by definition cheaper) and also proportioned out properly (eg 35% of daily calories for breakfast, 40% for lunch, 25% for dinner). Which is much less work and time-consuming than exercise. The numbers vary by person but running for a half hour can burn 300-400 calories. Conversely, running for a half hour is a hell of a feat for someone who wants to start working out to begin with, let alone to lose weight (which by necessity adds difficulty), and that's not a large amount of calories. And that's one of the most high-burning exercises there is, and one of the cheapest and least time-consuming - you can do it in your own neighborhood for free.

saying "lol, you lose weight in the kitchen" every time someone mentions trying to get more exercise to lose weight comes across as very condescending.

I appreciate your opinion. Less so your editorializing with "lol".

Bytheway, since we're on the subject of exercise, i remember you talking about a daily exercise routine. If i remember right, you were adamant about doing it every day so as to make it more likely to stick to. How's that going? IIRC you had a high plank time of like 40 seconds last i heard.

I mean, I'm exercising because I'd like to be more healthy, of which losing weight is a big part of but not everything. Exercising will help me lose weight, but mostly get my mindset in the right place that I'm willing to put in the effort to eat well.

I'm in that same boat! I've gotten into significantly better shape. I haven't chanted my diet at all, which means i still hover around the same weight, but I've got the healthy part down at least. Good luck!

[Rater202]

Pushed myself to hard trying to ramp up after negative results, but couldn't get back into the habit after several days needed for it to stop hurting(proving my point.)

Additionally, in that time my mother was voluntold to watch my cousin's kid three days a week and she agreed without consulting anyon else who lives in the house which makes keeping a schedule someone erratic and also it is hard to concentrate when an overly excited toddler in the next room can't decide if he wants to play Dig-Dug or terrorize the cat.

Replaced with 20 minutes walking in the driveway whenever I feel like it, weather permitting.

Weight gain that started inexplicably, prompting an increase in exercise, stopped and slightly reversed just as inexplicably in this time. Also, my blood sugar's been skewing low for the past month or so(been below 70 twice) which may or may not be related.

An experimental high plank done at this time lasted 46 seconds, so either I haven't degraded or the weight gain is continuing to reverse.

[Peelee]

Replaced with 20 minutes walking in the driveway whenever I feel like it, weather permitting.

....

An experimental high plank done at this time lasted 46 seconds, so either I haven't degraded or the weight gain is continuing to reverse.

Nice!

Pushed myself to hard trying to ramp up after negative results, but couldn't get back into the habit after several days needed for it to stop hurting(proving my point.)

And, interestingly enough, proving mine. might just be a damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't scenario

[Rater202]

Nice!

And, interestingly enough, proving mine. might just be a damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't scenario

If you recall, this incident is what prompted the conversation about why I needed to do it every day.

I believe I opened the conversation by commenting that I was sore in places that I didn't think could get sore.

[Jasdoif]

I haven't chanted my diet at all, which means i still hover around the same weight....

Is that a dragon thing, chanting your diet to adjust your flight capacity?

[Peelee]

Is that a dragon thing, chanting your diet to adjust your flight capacity?

Why else do you think I took four years of Latin?

[Jasdoif]

Why else do you think I took four years of Latin?

Esoteric degree requirements?

[Peelee]

Esoteric degree requirements?

Just needed 2 years of any foreign language. Sadly, "human" wasn't enough.

[Bohandas]

You lose weight by burning more calories than you take in.

Technically by burning more characters than you absorb. That's why orlistat works.

(and does anyone else think "orlistat" sounds like it should be the name of a fat vampire)

[Lord Raziere]

A little bit ago I mentioned that I was getting close to finishing the second arc out of three of the fanfic I started back in October and Raz expressed an interest in reading it.

I've got it on FFN now... That link is to the Seventh chapter, BTW, because that's the first chapter that doesn't have any uncensored swearing.

If anyone's interested.

A brief summary

Spoiler

Show

Basicalyl, a traumatized teenager decides she needs to be stronger to be safe, makes some dumb choices while doing it, and ends up having to deal with it from there...

I've described her elsewhere as someone who's trying to fill a hole, so to speak, and she's kind of a ****head for a chunk of the story by design.

I'm also going to say right now that th first interlude was only written because someone on the forum where this is initially published requested a recap/reaction chapter.

It's divided into three arcs, what is currently published is the entirety of the first two.

Spoiler: My reading

Show

So...protagonist is Maria/Massacre has a klyntar symbiote, is going around absorbing codices

"we're insured"
I found this line funny because it means the soldiers care enough about insurance in the middle of a fight to stop and argue with Massacre about it.

the Cyclops codex absorption is interesting because it means Massacre is getting a clue as to the true state of Marvel's timeline shenanigans but doesn't have the full context or knowledge to put it together. its like someone stumbling across a mystery they don't intend to solve and don't even know is one.

Chapter 16 feels like there should be a clearer transition between like.....whatever the draining sensation was and her waking up to Loki splashing her with water. Something to designate that happening so that its less confusing.

okay read all the way to 25. what I'd think of it?

it definitely reads like a Marvel story. You definitely know and get its tone and voice down pat, I'm not personally sure about the pacing of some of this stuff, but comic books play things a little fast and you pulled off the whole romance between Kelda and Maria better than I first thought so far. your definitely writing a protagonist who isn't perfect and makes mistakes while still keeping them a good person which is good, given some fanfics I've seen, not everyone strikes that balance.

you speak of her having a life and family before being attacked and that family dying, a good improvement I'd personally think would be to examine that a bit, how that shaped her, just get a better idea of who Maria was before all this crazy stuff started happening, which might like help inform why she would go on this quest to become a god better. like, just think of what kind of person would want this before having the power, yet still come off as relatively normal human being. because that kind pre-superhero life is important for some of the best characters in comic books: Spiderman, Superman, Captain America, so on and so forth, the upbringing and what they're like before any of this happens is important and in many ways defines those characters just as much as the powers if not more, because its demonstrated a lot that people with other circumstances and upbringing don't use the powers in the same way. you begin the first chapter with getting right into the action and thats good, allows you not get bogged down, but something to like, get a better idea of who Maria was before this while seemingly boring could be enlightening and get a better idea of the character, not to say you don't have one, because you got this person who has both good and bad parts to her, a personality and so on, she does feel real, but figuring out who she was before that, and what exactly she did, what she planned to do with her life before any of this happen could really help just round her out I think. just my thoughts.

many of the side characters are written well I'd say, I don't know much about obscurer parts of Marvel but the ones that I do know, all seem on point and in character.

I like the legend thing Loki explained, helps add some structure to this that does help the story work.

overall, I'd say I like it.

[halfeye]

proportioned out properly (eg 35% of daily calories for breakfast, 40% for lunch, 25% for dinner).

Was that one of your intentional funnies?

[Peelee]

Was that one of your intentional funnies?

'Twas not, and I might need the unintentional funny explained to me.

[LaZodiac]

So, a question for all y'all, since it came up recently. What's my vibe?

[enderlord99]

So, a question for all y'all, since it came up recently. What's my vibe?

Somewhere between 5 and 10 hertz

[Peelee]

Somewhere between 5 and 10 hertz

Reducing to a number like that really hurts.

[Anonymouswizard]

So, a question for all y'all, since it came up recently. What's my vibe?

My first thought was to joke about it being a vibrator, but that says more about me than you.

Mostly I see you as some kind of magical girl who transforms to enter video games and throw books at monsters. Your civilian clothes are understatedly fashionable, but when fighting evil you look like an incredibly frilly librarian.