GiP Regulars as Wondrous Items

[Honest Tiefling]

Paladin Otou-San is here for you.

Oh Snow Bluff, I never meant it. Keep the creepy paladin away from me!

Hey. Evil as Red may be, he is still an honorable companion of mine.

For a guy who wiggled out of a cleric, your wisdom seems to be lacking.

[LoyalPaladin]

Oh Snow Bluff, I never meant it. Keep the creepy paladin away from me!

Just like a child. When one parent doesn't give what they want, they run to the other one.

For a guy who wiggled out of a cleric, your wisdom seems to be lacking.

My wisdom is just fine, but we all know I don't max sense motive. I just ask barmaids for the information I need.

[Elricaltovilla]

My wisdom is just fine, but we all know I don't max sense motive. I just ask barmaids for the information I need.

It's a good thing those barmaids don't have sense motive. You Casanova, you.

[Honest Tiefling]

It's a good thing those barmaids don't have sense motive. You Casanova, you.

Or information. Then again, I get the feeling he's not after plot vital knowledge, if you get my drift.

[LoyalPaladin]

Now I want to play a Paladin / Sorcerer / Heartwarder with my Holy Flirt ACF.

It's a good thing those barmaids don't have sense motive. You Casanova, you.

I'm not hiding anything from them.

Or information. Then again, I get the feeling he's not after plot vital knowledge, if you get my drift.

Not a single thing.

[Honest Tiefling]

Snow Bluff might possibly be evil incarnate that will herald the end of the world, but he and or she has at least never been guilty of indecent exposure.

[LoyalPaladin]

Snow Bluff might possibly be evil incarnate that will herald the end of the world, but he and or she has at least never been guilty of indecent exposure.

You say that... but I'm not sure that it's true. Also, I'd never be indecently exposed in public. That would be illegal. Where is the nice Sune person with the crazy circus when I need them?

[Snowbluff]

The immortal emperor stuff kind of makes me want to write a variant of the WH 40k universe replacing prominent figures with playgrounders.

I'd like to see this.

Snow Bluff might possibly be evil incarnate that will herald the end of the world, but he and or she has at least never been guilty of indecent exposure.

You say that... but I'm not sure that it's true. Also, I'd never be indecently exposed in public. That would be illegal. Where is the nice Sune person with the crazy circus when I need them?

No, it's true. I cause catastrophe by just showing my face. It does ill things to the heart of man.

[Jormengand]

I'd like to see this.

I have created a monstrosity. And I love it.

[atemu1234]

Me, I'm just a Gish trying to make his way. Sometimes I'm evil. But all I want is information. If Lug had told me he was the janitor, I may have let him live. Or enslaved him. Or something.

[Segev]

Me, I'm just a Gish trying to make his way. Sometimes I'm evil. But all I want is information. If Lug had told me he was the janitor, I may have let him live. Or enslaved him. Or something.

I've been asked to inform you that Lug forgives you. In return, he'd like you to have this mop...

[atemu1234]

I've been asked to inform you that Lug forgives you. In return, he'd like you to have this mop...

I'll take it
-Goes into demiplane-
-Comes back in 30 seconds-
-Gives back to Lug-
It now flies and gives the rider telepathy.

[Marlowe]

Spoiler: Not really happy with this one. You guys should ask for a refund.

Show

[IZ42]

Lug is my glorious orc janitor buddy and don't you dare talk about smack about him. Did you know Orc archivists are a thing?

[Marlowe]

[IZ42]

Of course, Lug is an Eberron orc. Just wait a couple of years and he probably could design one with help. And as an archivist, he's probably the most intelligent member of his race.

[Lord_Gareth]

That feel when you remember that Spelljammer elves have Gundams and no one involved in writing them was even bothering to try to hide it.

[Marlowe]

Of course, Lug is an Eberron orc. Just wait a couple of years and he probably could design one with help. And as an archivist, he's probably the most intelligent member of his race.

Spoiler

Show

[Hecuba]

I give permission to be included in the thread.
As I myself will be using that permission, I also give permission to others to lambast me for egotism.


Hecuba's Banal Book of Excruciating Minutiae
Price: 12,500 gp
Slot: -
Caster level: 7
Aura: Moderate transmutation, moderate enchantment
Activation: -
Weight: 1 lb.
Crafting Prerequisites: Craft Wonderous Item, Secret Page, Bestow Curse

This cursed book appears in all respects to be a Blessed Book.

When, however, a wizard adds a spell the book they are compelled to record the spell in unnecessary detail. The wizard must make a will save (DC 14 + 2 x the level of the spell) or record the spell in such detail that they expend double the number of pages and double the materials that would be necessary to record the spell in a normal spellbook (the costs are also doubled). This effect is a mind-affecting enchantment.

If the wizard makes their save, the book functions as a normal blessed book.

Characters with levels in the Geometer prestige class are even more susceptible to this book than ordinary wizards: on a failed save, they are compelled not merely to record the spell in greater detail but rather to include formal mathematical proof indicating its function. Rather than using double the normal pages and materials on a failed save, they instead use four times the normal resources and pages that would be required if they did not have their "Book of Geometry" class feature.

[atemu1234]

Ooh! I know what to get Lug for his birthday?

[Zaydos]

Lug's Badge of the Custodian
Price: 30,000 gp
Slot: - (worn on chest)
Caster level: 7
Aura: Moderate transmutation, moderate enchantment
Activation: - and Standard (command word)
Weight: 1/10 lb.

This brass badge has written across it in enchanted script one word, JANITOR, which always appears to be in the reader's native tongue whatever their language. When worn the badge allows you to use the cleaning function of prestidigitation at-will, as well as making it easier for the wearer to pass themselves off as a custodial engineer, granting a +10 competence bonus to any Bluff check or Disguise check made to play the role of a janitor or other menial cleaner.

Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item, Prestidigitation, Reflective Disguise, Comprehend Languages
Cost to Create: 15,000 GP and 1200 XP Strict calculation would give 50,000 x .? based on how restrictive the limitation is + 3000 x .? based upon the prestidigitation restrictio, but that gives something woefully over prices unless I decide the limitation is really huge, especially when you take into account that hat of disguise gives +10 to disguise for less than 2k. Then again they stack so...

[LoyalPaladin]

Lug's Badge of the Custodian

If Lug had been wearing this, he'd still be alive.

[Honest Tiefling]

Did Lug even give permission? Zaydos if I hadn't been given such great items I would be very disappointed in your lack of manners.

[Zaydos]

Sure go ahead and make a few things.

White text

[Elricaltovilla]

I dunno Zaydos, if you run that through Google translate a couple hundred times it comes out as "no."

[Marlowe]

Spoiler: I'm just posting to look pretty

Show

[Zaydos]

You know what we haven't done for a while?

Spoiler: Current Permissions/Items

Show

Perma Permissions (I know of):
Snowbluff
Threadnaught
LoyalPaladin
Zaydos
Socratov
Red Fel
WhamBamSam
atemu1234
Jormengand
Keledrath

Permissions
Snowbluff
Threadnaught
Emperor Tippy
Zaydos
atemu1234
khadgar567
IZ42
Red Fel
Extra Anchovies
Masterkerfuffle
Afgncaap5
unseenmage
Ashtagon
Elricaltovilla
eggynack
Blackhawk748
PsyBomb
WhamBamSam
Milo v3
NeoPhoenix0
Lord_Gareth
Bad Wolf
LoyalPaladin
Somensjev
Vaz
prufock
Marlowe
Xuldarinar
Invader
Segev
Stack
dysprosium
inuyasha
Karl Aegis
Jormengand
illyahr
Honest Tiefling
Hecuba
Lug

Wondrous Items by Slot

Arms
Elric's Bracers of Initiation (Elricaltovilla)

Body
Inuyasha's Robe of the Fire Rat (Inuyasha)

Face
Snowbluff's Mask of Sublime Wrath (Snowbluff)
Mask of the Master (Masterkerfuffle)
Inuyasha's Glasses of the Jinx (Inuyasha)
Honest Tiefling's Mustache of Honest Evil (Honest Tiefling)

Feet
Prufock's Boots of the Longrider (prufock)
Boots of the Frozen City (Karl Aegis)

Hands
Glove of the Snowy Bluff (Snowbluff)
Gauntlets of Xuldarinar (Xuldarinar)
Lord Gareth's Gauntlets of the Sublime Craftsman (Lord Gareth)

Head
Afgn's Cap of Wilderness Survival (Afgncaap5)
Shard of the Fractured Mind (Marlowe)Milo's Wonder Com (Milo v3)
Zaydos' Wonderous Witchcap (Zaydos)
NeoPheonix's Helm of Erratic Teleportation (NeoPheonix, cursed)

Shoulders
Jormengand's Mantle of Curse Reflection (Jormengand)
Illyahr's Cloak of the Strolling Bard (Illyahr)

Throat
WhamBam's Gorget of Draconic Command (WhamBamSam)
Bad Wolf's Collar (Bad Wolf)
Eggynack's Collar of Bestial Eloquence (Eggynack)
Segev's Periapt of the Ghoul Walker (Segev)

Torso
Anchovies' Vest of Bones (Extra Anchovies)
Blackhawk's Blood Repelling Tabbard (BlackHawk748)
Lord Gareth's Fur Mantle of Beast-Slaying (Lord_Gareth)
Marlowe's Fuku of Fiery Purification (Marlowe)
Vest of Stacking (Stack)
PsyGrenade (Psybomb)
NeoPheonix's Quill of Forgery (NeoPheonix0)

Waist
IZ's Sash of Annoy Monster (IZ42)
Vaz' Belt of Calming Presence (Vaz)
Tiefling Tail of Balance (Marlowe)

Slotless
Threadnaught's Bag of Mundane Objects (Threadnaught)
Red Fel's Kitten Cage (Red Fel)
Powder of Obsession (Snowbluff)
Sashimono of Paladinic Loyalty (LoyalPaladin)
Eggynack's Feather Token: Druid (eggynack)
Fel's Tome of Fiends (Red Fel)
Somensjev's Bottle of Transformation (Somensjev)
Atemu's Cup (Atemu)
Unseenmage's Copper Monkey (unseenmage)
Living Peanut Statue (Zaydos)
Socratov's Stein of Poetry (Socratov)
Powder of Dysprosium (Dysprosium)
Illyahr's Harp of Calming Eloquence (Illyahr)
Honest Tiefling's Badge of I'm Good Honest (Honest Tiefling)
V's Restless Handkerchief (a dirty cheater)
Illyahr's Lute of Praising (Illyahr)
Keledrath's Automatic Valet (Keledrath)
Segev's Balm of Bodily Restoration (Segev)
Lug's Broom of Command (Lug)
Hecuba's Banal Book of Excruciating Minutiae (a dirty cheater)
Lug's Badge of the Custodian (Lug)

Architecture:
Ashtagon's Grindstone of Chopping (Ashtagon)
Zaydos's Zany Workbench of Random Creation (a dirty cheater)

Full Suite of Gear: Or I don't want to link the same post over half a dozen times.
Legendary Regalia of the Immortal Emperor (Emperor Tippy)

Spoiler: Waiting

Show

^Z indicates I've done one for them, which is mostly for my own use.
Perma Permissions (I know of):
Snowbluff^Z
Threadnaught^Z
LoyalPaladin^Z
Zaydos^Z
Socratov^Z
Red Fel^Z
WhamBamSam^Z
Atemu1234^Z
Jormengand^Z
Keledrath

Permissions
Snowbluff^Z
Threadnaught^Z
Emperor Tippy
Zaydos^Z
atemu1234^Z
khadgar567
IZ42^Z
Red Fel^Z
Extra Anchovies^Z
Masterkerfuffle
Afgncaap5
unseenmage^Z
Ashtagon^Z
Elricaltovilla^Z
eggynack^Z
Blackhawk748^Z
PsyBomb^Z
WhamBamSam^Z
Milo v3^Z
NeoPhoenix0^Z
Lord_Gareth^Z
Bad Wolf
LoyalPaladin^Z
Somensjev
Vaz
prufock^Z
Marlowe^Z
Xuldarinar^Z
Invader
Segev^Z
Stack
dysprosium^Z
inuyasha^Z
Karl Aegis^Z
Jormengand^Z
illyahr^Z
Honest Tiefling^Z
Hecuba
Lug^Z

[LoyalPaladin]

You know what we haven't done for a while?

Spoiler: Current Permissions/Items

Show

Perma Permissions (I know of):
Snowbluff
Threadnaught
LoyalPaladin
Zaydos
Socratov
Red Fel
WhamBamSam
atemu1234
Jormengand
Keledrath

Permissions
Snowbluff
Threadnaught
Emperor Tippy
Zaydos
atemu1234
khadgar567
IZ42
Red Fel
Extra Anchovies
Masterkerfuffle
Afgncaap5
unseenmage
Ashtagon
Elricaltovilla
eggynack
Blackhawk748
PsyBomb
WhamBamSam
Milo v3
NeoPhoenix0
Lord_Gareth
Bad Wolf
LoyalPaladin
Somensjev
Vaz
prufock
Marlowe
Xuldarinar
Invader
Segev
Stack
dysprosium
inuyasha
Karl Aegis
Jormengand
illyahr
Honest Tiefling
Hecuba
Lug

Wondrous Items by Slot

Arms
Elric's Bracers of Initiation (Elricaltovilla)

Body
Inuyasha's Robe of the Fire Rat (Inuyasha)

Face
Snowbluff's Mask of Sublime Wrath (Snowbluff)
Mask of the Master (Masterkerfuffle)
Inuyasha's Glasses of the Jinx (Inuyasha)
Honest Tiefling's Mustache of Honest Evil (Honest Tiefling)

Feet
Prufock's Boots of the Longrider (prufock)
Boots of the Frozen City (Karl Aegis)

Hands
Glove of the Snowy Bluff (Snowbluff)
Gauntlets of Xuldarinar (Xuldarinar)
Lord Gareth's Gauntlets of the Sublime Craftsman (Lord Gareth)

Head
Afgn's Cap of Wilderness Survival (Afgncaap5)
Shard of the Fractured Mind (Marlowe)Milo's Wonder Com (Milo v3)
Zaydos' Wonderous Witchcap (Zaydos)
NeoPheonix's Helm of Erratic Teleportation (NeoPheonix, cursed)

Shoulders
Jormengand's Mantle of Curse Reflection (Jormengand)
Illyahr's Cloak of the Strolling Bard (Illyahr)

Throat
WhamBam's Gorget of Draconic Command (WhamBamSam)
Bad Wolf's Collar (Bad Wolf)
Eggynack's Collar of Bestial Eloquence (Eggynack)
Segev's Periapt of the Ghoul Walker (Segev)

Torso
Anchovies' Vest of Bones (Extra Anchovies)
Blackhawk's Blood Repelling Tabbard (BlackHawk748)
Lord Gareth's Fur Mantle of Beast-Slaying (Lord_Gareth)
Marlowe's Fuku of Fiery Purification (Marlowe)
Vest of Stacking (Stack)
PsyGrenade (Psybomb)
NeoPheonix's Quill of Forgery (NeoPheonix0)

Waist
IZ's Sash of Annoy Monster (IZ42)
Vaz' Belt of Calming Presence (Vaz)
Tiefling Tail of Balance (Marlowe)

Slotless
Threadnaught's Bag of Mundane Objects (Threadnaught)
Red Fel's Kitten Cage (Red Fel)
Powder of Obsession (Snowbluff)
Sashimono of Paladinic Loyalty (LoyalPaladin)
Eggynack's Feather Token: Druid (eggynack)
Fel's Tome of Fiends (Red Fel)
Somensjev's Bottle of Transformation (Somensjev)
Atemu's Cup (Atemu)
Unseenmage's Copper Monkey (unseenmage)
Living Peanut Statue (Zaydos)
Socratov's Stein of Poetry (Socratov)
Powder of Dysprosium (Dysprosium)
Illyahr's Harp of Calming Eloquence (Illyahr)
Honest Tiefling's Badge of I'm Good Honest (Honest Tiefling)
V's Restless Handkerchief (a dirty cheater)
Illyahr's Lute of Praising (Illyahr)
Keledrath's Automatic Valet (Keledrath)
Segev's Balm of Bodily Restoration (Segev)
Lug's Broom of Command (Lug)
Hecuba's Banal Book of Excruciating Minutiae (a dirty cheater)
Lug's Badge of the Custodian (Lug)

Architecture:
Ashtagon's Grindstone of Chopping (Ashtagon)
Zaydos's Zany Workbench of Random Creation (a dirty cheater)

Full Suite of Gear: Or I don't want to link the same post over half a dozen times.
Legendary Regalia of the Immortal Emperor (Emperor Tippy)

Spoiler: Waiting

Show

^Z indicates I've done one for them, which is mostly for my own use.
Perma Permissions (I know of):
Snowbluff^Z
Threadnaught^Z
LoyalPaladin^Z
Zaydos^Z
Socratov^Z
Red Fel^Z
WhamBamSam^Z
Atemu1234^Z
Jormengand^Z
Keledrath

Permissions
Snowbluff^Z
Threadnaught^Z
Emperor Tippy
Zaydos^Z
atemu1234^Z
khadgar567
IZ42^Z
Red Fel^Z
Extra Anchovies^Z
Masterkerfuffle
Afgncaap5
unseenmage^Z
Ashtagon^Z
Elricaltovilla^Z
eggynack^Z
Blackhawk748^Z
PsyBomb^Z
WhamBamSam^Z
Milo v3^Z
NeoPhoenix0^Z
Lord_Gareth^Z
Bad Wolf
LoyalPaladin^Z
Somensjev
Vaz
prufock^Z
Marlowe^Z
Xuldarinar^Z
Invader
Segev
Stack
dysprosium^Z
inuyasha^Z
Karl Aegis^Z
Jormengand^Z
illyahr^Z
Honest Tiefling^Z
Hecuba
Lug^Z

I've been really busy this week. D:

[Karl Aegis]

I've been really busy this week. D:

Sounds like you need an automatic valet.

[LoyalPaladin]

Sounds like you need an automatic valet.

I need a vacation.