[3.5/PF] GitP Regulars as NPCs

[Blackhawk748]

I've done Humans vs Zombies. I cheated by having several Full Auto Nerf guns which had the governors taken out so they could shoot farther. No dead heads where getting me

But you are very correct, the creeping inevitability is what freaks you out. Now i only played for a weekend, so they needed to be more aggressive, but being chased by 6 zombies through the food court is very stressful, even when you have a Nerf Thompson

[Zaydos]

And we have our first Street Performer...

Marlowe
Male Spacenoid Animator, Level 7, Init 1, HP 33/33, Speed 30-ft
AC 11, (+1 Dex)Touch 11, Flat-footed 10, Fort 4, Ref 3, Will 5, Base Attack Bonus 3
Abilities Str 8, Dex 13, Con 14, Int 12, Wis 10, Cha 16
Condition Disguised
Puts on plays with his various constructs and illusions.

Which included the creation of a feat and a race.

[Marlowe]

"Metafictional deconstruction! Get yer metafictionals here! Metafiction in a bun! Onna stick!"

EDIT: "HEY! I am not a Char Clone! I am a human being!"

[NeoPhoenix0]

Onna Stick? I didn't know sticks had gender.

[Zaydos]

"Metafictional deconstruction! Get yer metafictionals here! Metafiction in a bun! Onna stick!"

EDIT: "HEY! I am not a Char Clone! I am a human being!"

Was curious if you'd catch that.

And I'm bad at spelling Haman's name. I've called her Harman Kon before and Kaman Harn.

[Blackhawk748]

Onna Stick? I didn't know sticks had gender.

Bwahahahaha

[Marlowe]

[Threadnaught]

And we have our first Street Performer...

Marlowe
Male Spacenoid Animator, Level 7, Init 1, HP 33/33, Speed 30-ft
AC 11, (+1 Dex)Touch 11, Flat-footed 10, Fort 4, Ref 3, Will 5, Base Attack Bonus 3
Abilities Str 8, Dex 13, Con 14, Int 12, Wis 10, Cha 16
Condition Disguised
Puts on plays with his various constructs and illusions.

Which included the creation of a feat and a race.

I'm guessing Keledrath is portrayed in this play?

Perhaps it would be helpful to explain the mating rituals of the Kelecast, I feel as though I left some misconceptions before.

Spoiler: Kelecast Breeding

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You see, when two Kelecast find each other agreeable and wish to combine ideas in a more physical way, they get some privacy, join hands and emit energy from their souls. The combined force of two Kelecast souls meet in the middle and a spark appears, one parent Kelecast holds the spark with their hand and it is absorbed into their body, where a womb forms around it. The energy forms a physical body over a span of time close to a year as they mature inside a parents womb. Although infant Kelecast may be transferred between parents should it be required.
Once an infant is old enough to function without its parents, the carrying parents womb splits open and the child is lowered onto their feet. While the carrying parent has their abdomen return to its normal shape.

The Kelecast refer to their own mating ritual as 01000011 01101000 01100001 01110010 01100001 01100011 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100011 01110010 01100101 01100001 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 a truly beautiful name for such an act.

Every 01000011 01101000 01100001 01110010 01100001 01100011 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100011 01110010 01100101 01100001 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 produces a single infant Kelecast, attempts to create more per 01000011 01101000 01100001 01110010 01100001 01100011 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100011 01110010 01100101 01100001 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 has unpredictable effects, it could include twins, a superior specimen or mutations that create an abomination. It is illegal by 0s Law to create more than one Kelecast child per 01000011 01101000 01100001 01110010 01100001 01100011 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100011 01110010 01100101 01100001 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 for this very reason.
A Kelecast may choose to go through 01000011 01101000 01100001 01110010 01100001 01100011 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100011 01110010 01100101 01100001 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 with a member of another Race, 0s Law does not forbade this and many Half-Kelecast exist from such relationships. Kelecast allow their partner to choose how their child is formed, as distasteful as biological reproduction is to Kelecast, they're willing to go through their partners mating rituals, or extract energy from their partners soul as they go through 01000011 01101000 01100001 01110010 01100001 01100011 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100011 01110010 01100101 01100001 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110.

Imagine that in the BoEF.

I wonder how many people are horrified at the existence of that spoiler.

[Zaydos]

Kerfuffle
Male Neutral Cynic Necropolitan Human Luck Blessed, Level 8, Init 3, HP 57/57, Speed 30 ft
AC 14, (+2 Dex, +2 Misc) Touch 14, Flat-footed 12, Fort 7, Ref 9, Will 5, Base Attack Bonus 6
Abilities Str 16, Dex 14, Con -, Int 10, Wis 6, Cha 14
Condition Emotional age same as physical age upon death (15)
Chronological age is 78.

[Snowbluff]

That's a shame. Your ominous comments and yandere attitude were a refreshing change of pace from the tomfoolery and general mess that the rest of us were getting up to.

Then you are truly blessed!

I have returned.

[Zaydos]

And I think this thread has pretty much ran its course with two last NPCs. I have apparently decided alignments need to be expanded with Cynic and Blood Knight as new moral alignments.

Draconium
Male Neutral Blood Knight Lizardfolk Dragonsoul Acolyte, Level 10, Init 5, HP 110/110, Speed 20 ft, fly 40 ft (good)
AC 23, Touch 11, Flat-footed 22, Fort 10, Ref 7, Will 8, Base Attack Bonus 8
Claws +13/+13 (1d6+5, x2)
Bite +7 (1d6+2, x2)
Breastplate (+5 Armor, +1 Dex, +7 Natural)
Abilities Str 20, Dex 12, Con 16, Int 10, Wis 12, Cha 12
Condition Challenging strangers to duels.
Trying to get 5000 gold so he doesn't have to dip into his hoard for living expenses.

Theif Zof
Male LE Tiefling Fiendpact Medium, Level 4, Init 3, HP 29/29, DR 2/good or silver, Speed 30 ft
AC 13, Touch 13, Flat-footed 10, Fort 7, Ref 7, Will 3, Base Attack Bonus 4
Claws +8/+8 (1d6+3, x2)
(+3 Dex)
Abilities Str 16, Dex 16, Con 16, Int 10, Wis 8, Cha 10
Condition None

[Snowbluff]

Excellent. I will be collecting your entries shortly.

[Marlowe]

Spoiler: Easiest few panels ever

Show

[khadgar567]

guys you might forget one of the resident snark knight npc less but thanks to my aura of mundaneness its easy to forget size 4 bold snark would you mind make a perception check to see progress of the treat

[Zaydos]

guys you might forget one of the resident snark knight npc less but thanks to my aura of mundaneness its easy to forget size 4 bold snark would you mind make a perception check to see progress of the treat

What did I say?

Khadgar
Male TN Halfling Whisper, Level 6, Init 4, HP 37/37, Speed 20 ft
AC 15, Touch 15, Flat-footed 11, Fort 5, Ref 10, Will 3, Base Attack Bonus 5
Dagger or something +11 or something (1d3-2 or something, )
(+4 Dex, +1 Size)
Abilities Str 6, Dex 19, Con 14, Int 16, Wis 10, Cha 8
Condition None

[Milo v3]

It took me far too long to notice the problem with this gif *facepalm*

[Marlowe]

It took me far too long to notice the problem with this gif *facepalm*

[LoyalPaladin]

Drop the glowsticks.

Never!

Lug, THE Janitor

I love how Lug is now a thing here.

Paladin should do a sweep so I can see who has been done, who has been missed,

I'll try to get it done by tonight. I slept most of my weekend away and have lots of work, so I've been lax here on GitP. PM me if I forget!

Oh no. My feelings were not returned.

This is the beginning of a murder scene.

[khadgar567]

This is the beginning of a murder scene.

you really perception check it now I think red fell and Neopheonix destroyed the evidence week ago and put simulacra in his place next day and zaydos already gulped the financial records( moon walks out of room while whistling wild west theme tune)

[Zaydos]

you really perception check it now I think red fell and Neopheonix destroyed the evidence week ago and put simulacra in his place next day and zaydos already gulped the financial records( moon walks out of room while whistling wild west theme tune)

But I am the murder victim! And Lug would have noticed the simulacrum the first time we met for our bi-daily sparring sessions.

[illyahr]

Who had an awesome weekend? This bard. By the way, absinthe and bbq don't mix at all.

I love how Lug is now a thing here.

Lug is always a thing. Lug is the eternal janitor. Lug is the one who cleans up the place before Death closes the door and locks up.

[IZ42]

Who had an awesome weekend? This bard. By the way, absinthe and bbq don't mix at all.



Lug is always a thing. Lug is the eternal janitor. Lug is the one who cleans up the place before Death closes the door and locks up.

That first statement leaves me wondering if you're from the US or not, because Absinthe is illegal (IIRC) here, and Barbecue is rather big here.


That description of Lug is perfect BTW.

[illyahr]

That first statement leaves me wondering if you're from the US or not, because Absinthe is illegal (IIRC) here, and Barbecue is rather big here.

Only the absinthe that keeps the hallucinogenic properties is illegal. There are brands of absinthe that have artificial wormwood or are refined in such a way as to nullify the hallucinogenic effects. These are perfectly legal.

And they taste strongly of black licorice.

[Snowbluff]

This is the beginning of a murder scene.

Murder? Love? What's the difference? Either way you inevitably destroy what you hold most dear.

Who had an awesome weekend? This bard. By the way, absinthe and bbq don't mix at all.

I went to Connie's the day before labor day with my family, got a headache, drank a mojito, headache got worse, went home.

[Honest Tiefling]

Only the absinthe that keeps the hallucinogenic properties is illegal. There are brands of absinthe that have artificial wormwood or are refined in such a way as to nullify the hallucinogenic effects. These are perfectly legal.

And they taste strongly of black licorice.

Uh...I thought it wasn't even hallucinogenic to begin with.

[Blackhawk748]

That first statement leaves me wondering if you're from the US or not, because Absinthe is illegal (IIRC) here, and Barbecue is rather big here.


That description of Lug is perfect BTW.

Its only illegal for bars to sell IIRC because there is no "standard" recipe for it. All absinthe has several things in common, but you can get pretty crazy with it. Kinda like vodka.

Anyway you can totally buy it from stores. Also Illyahr, should we be expecting a half-something in around 9 months??

Spoiler: This is appropriate when speaking of Bards and Booze

Show

[IZ42]

Ah, that makes sense I guess. I know there was a period where it was outright banned though. I don't pay much attention to US law.

[NeoPhoenix0]

Actually there is a blanket ban on absinthe due to there being no set recipe, however it is approved for import on a case by case basis. Lucid is legal because that label has a recipe, and now we even have at least one legal label that is domestic.

If you can buy it in a store it is most likely available at a bar somewhere legally. The biggest reason it was banned in the first place is it often contains things that can kill or are hallucinogenic.

[illyahr]

Uh...I thought it wasn't even hallucinogenic to begin with.

Oh, the original stuff is hardcore hallucinogenic. Like, stay indoors because you're having trouble discerning reality levels of trippy.

Also Illyahr, should we be expecting a half-something in around 9 months??

No, no, of course not...

*checks the expiration date on his preventive herbs*

No, we should be good...

[Snowbluff]

Oh, the original stuff is hardcore hallucinogenic. Like, stay indoors because you're having trouble discerning reality levels of trippy.

Uh huh. I won't drink that swill, but it's my preferred libation to serve to my... guests.

It makes them most agreeable.