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Thread: smite one liners [3.5]
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2015-02-27, 04:40 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2013
smite one liners [3.5]
Greetings,
in an upcoming game, i'll be playing a wild elf paladin (of freedom), doing lot' o smiting. Can you help me with some epic one liners i can shout (say at the table) when smiting? Or direct me to somewhere that i can find some nice ones?
In case it's necessary, some facts about my paladin:
name: Halas
race: wild elf
age: 120 years (just about adulthood for an elf)
Main Deity: Corellon larethian
Secondary deity: Kord
I'll mostly be using my smites for charging smites (PHB II variant), so something that would fit being shouted while charging would be perfect!
Cheers!
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2015-02-27, 05:18 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2014
Re: smite one liners [3.5]
Just because it'd be possibly hilarious if you timed it right and the party was familiar with the reference, you could always go with a good old "LEROY JENKINS!!!!!" at one point during the campaign.
All kidding aside, you have your standard "To the Nine Hells with You" types of lines that are pretty classic for most religious types, really what I guess I'd like to know is what kind of personality does your character have? Are they super serious and religious, are they sarcastic and witty? A dark and serious BAMF? Would you consider them to be corny? Could you possibly see them being the main character of some random b grade action/comedy movie? It'd be a lot easier to come up with some better lines to drop if we knew what might be an appropriate thing for your character to say during battle.
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2015-02-27, 05:24 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
- Location
- Sweden
- Gender
Re: smite one liners [3.5]
"I see you're smite-en with me!"
Get it? Cause you have high charisma.
Warning: your DM may cause you to fall because the joke is so bad!
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2015-02-27, 05:45 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2013
Re: smite one liners [3.5]
Pretty sure all know about the Leroy Jenins, though i would shout Halas Nalloth!!!
And for what kind of personality, i'm not sure yet. We still have to start the campaign. Probably: religious yes, serious only when the situation needs it to. Sarcastic: knowing myself probably yes. Witty, well, his intelligence won't really allow that.
Corny is always allowed.
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2015-02-27, 06:10 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2015
- Location
- North East of England
- Gender
Re: smite one liners [3.5]
GOOD FOR THE GOOD GOD!
I TAKE THE UN OUT OF UNDEAD!
LET ME TAKE 6 INCHES OFF THE TOP! (prior to decapitation of enemy)
SMOKE THE MOTHER!
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2015-02-27, 06:57 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
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2015-02-27, 06:59 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2013
- Gender
Re: smite one liners [3.5]
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2015-02-27, 07:11 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2014
- Location
- Sovereign State of Denial
Re: smite one liners [3.5]
AND YOU WILL KNOW MY NAME IS THE LORD, WHEN I LAY MY VENGEANCE UPON YOU! [In your best Samuel L. Jackson impression]
Note my favorite character was a burly, well-muscled Dwarf Cleric who was constantly oiled, who turned undead by Pelvic Thrusting in their direction.
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2015-02-27, 07:16 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2014
Re: smite one liners [3.5]
"SNEAK ATTACK!!!"
or
"I just do nonlethal - honest"
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2015-02-27, 07:23 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Gender
Re: smite one liners [3.5]
Corellon is the god of music. Just do a cappella version of Wilhelm Tell as you ride towards the ranks of your enemies.
"It's the fate of all things under the sky,
to grow old and wither and die."
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2015-02-27, 07:47 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2013
Re: smite one liners [3.5]
Tough cannot escape my justice - alright, not bad for a start
few moments later
Thou shall die a thousand deaths evil spawn! - not bad, not bad
few moments later
I shall spread the buttery justice of Terin over the toast of your inequity - wait, what?
The circuline jam of light shall sweeten the sour dough of your evil ways - ah, we are going this route are we?
and finally
the spatula of purity shall scramble the eggs of your malfeasance - no comments anymore...
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2015-02-27, 07:48 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2013
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2015-02-27, 08:05 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2014
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2015-02-27, 08:50 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
- Location
- Tharggy, on Tellene
- Gender
Re: smite one liners [3.5]
FOR HONOR AND GLORY!!!
I need to AXE you a question
*crazed screaming*
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2015-02-27, 09:01 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
Re: smite one liners [3.5]
A few from my quotes file, built up from previous threads:
<while hacking and slashing through the battlefield> "Know that I take no pleasure in this..." <as a foe falls> "I forgive you." <moves on to fell another> "Be at peace." <and another> "May your next life be better than this."
"Your soul can still be saved, if, like a surgeon, I cut away all that is diseased." <pause, tilts head while detecting evil> "Which appears to be pretty much everything... Shall we get to work?"
<Draws sword in one hand, passes pouch full of gold to the cleric standing next to him>
Cleric "What's this for?"
Paladin "I'm gonna need an Atonement in a minute."
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2015-02-27, 09:19 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2013
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2015-02-27, 09:26 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2013
Re: smite one liners [3.5]
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2015-02-27, 10:09 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
- Location
- Tharggy, on Tellene
- Gender
Re: smite one liners [3.5]
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2015-02-27, 10:24 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2014
- Location
- Mount Celestia
- Gender
Re: smite one liners [3.5]
For Narnia?
I play a Paladin who is pretty heavy on the one liners, favorite so far: "When Bhaal starts a walkin', Torm comes a knockin'."Last edited by LoyalPaladin; 2015-02-27 at 10:24 AM.
If purple is evil, bold gray is lawful good.
Extended Signature & Homebrew Signature
Check out my Celestial Compendium!
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2015-02-27, 12:26 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2013
- Gender
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2015-02-27, 01:34 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
Re: smite one liners [3.5]
While I'm a fan of catch-phrases to start off combat in television (one that strikes me, for Paladins in particular, is, "Now, count up all of your sins,"), I find them distracting in actual play. The only exception is when you use them as an identifier - in essence, when an NPC uses them, so that the PCs know who just arrived on the battlefield before they hear a character description.
That said, sometimes a no-liner is better than a one-liner. Offer a grim smirk, crack your knuckles, or - I'm a big fan of this - swing your heavy weapon over your shoulder, crack your neck, and show a little tooth.
Worth a thousand words, innit?My headache medicine has a little "Ex" inscribed on the pill. It's not a brand name; it's an indicator that it works inside an Anti-Magic Field.
Blue text means sarcasm. Purple text means evil. White text is invisible.
My signature got too big for its britches. So now it's over here!
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2015-02-27, 02:36 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2011
- Gender
Re: smite one liners [3.5]
Saying something along the lines of, "How about a piping hot cup of SMITE EVIL!" is my personal favorite.
Similar to how all bad guys say something like this when starting fights:
The Gnolls see you approaching and yell out to you, "roll initiative."
The city guardsman sees you picking the mayors pocket and says, "roll initiative."
The wolves snarl at you in a menacing hungry way. They seem to say, "roll initiative."
The gelatinous cube turns to you and the trail of slime reads, "roll initiative."
For you, I suggest...
Halas, you cannot see reason... SMITE EVIL!!1
That is the halast straw!
Time for a big heaping spoon full of Halas a la mode!
I THINK THOSE SHOES ARE CUTE, BUT I GOTTA SMITE YOU ANYWAY SORRY BRO!
Insert generic one.... LINER!
It's elfin time!
This Smight hurt a lot!Last edited by dascarletm; 2015-02-27 at 02:41 PM.
Dascarletm, Spinner of Rudiplorked Tales, and Purveyor of PunsThanks to Artman77 for the avatar!
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2015-02-27, 02:56 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
- Location
- Tharggy, on Tellene
- Gender
Re: smite one liners [3.5]
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2015-02-27, 03:04 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2015
Re: smite one liners [3.5]
That one's genius. I can't top it, but here are some suggestions for things that might be fun to shout anyways:
"I find your lack of faith disturbing!"
"Prepare to get holy! Like, literally, full of holes!"
"Make peace with your gods, for I shall make pieces out of you!"
"I'm going to bless your frickin' brains out!"
"I will wash my blade with your blood! And clean my butt with your hair!"
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2015-02-27, 03:14 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2014
- Location
- Mount Celestia
- Gender
Re: smite one liners [3.5]
That reminds me! "Pick a god and pray!"
If purple is evil, bold gray is lawful good.
Extended Signature & Homebrew Signature
Check out my Celestial Compendium!
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2015-02-27, 05:56 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2011
- Gender
Dascarletm, Spinner of Rudiplorked Tales, and Purveyor of PunsThanks to Artman77 for the avatar!
Extended Signature
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2015-02-27, 06:03 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
- Location
- Tharggy, on Tellene
- Gender
Re: smite one liners [3.5]
Last edited by Blackhawk748; 2015-02-27 at 06:04 PM.
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2015-02-27, 08:23 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2013
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2015-02-27, 08:42 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2010
Re: smite one liners [3.5]
"If god had wanted you to live, he would not have created ME!"
"Now is coward-killing time!"
And for non-TF2 ones:
"Sin is a disease. I'll have to amputate."Imagine if all real-world conversations were like internet D&D conversations...
Protip: DnD is an incredibly social game played by some of the most socially inept people on the planet - Lev
I read this somewhere and I stick to it: "I would rather play a bad system with my friends than a great system with nobody". - Trevlac
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2015-02-27, 09:00 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2011
Re: smite one liners [3.5]
Spoooooon!