LGBTAI+ #57 Infinity: I Love You, Always Forever

[JNAProductions]

Welcome to the 56th iteration of the LGBTAI thread!

Notice: This is mostly a support thread. There is an LGBTAI+ Q&A Thread right here.

The AI is for All-Inclusive because we have only so much space in the title, but everyone, regardless of orientation, direction, letter, acronym or chosen astrological symbol is welcome here!

We do, unfortunately, have a few rules. We are not an anarchist state! Or, we weren't until we voted we were? But shush.

1. We are primarily a support thread.
This means that the primary focus should be in helping people here feel better; about themselves, about their lives, about their problems. We are also an education thread, but when helping someone learn involves not supporting, we will default to support - Mostly. We are only mostly human, after all.

All of the other rules are basically precisions of rule #1.

2. If you want answers to triggering topics, spoiler-box or ask them privately.
Triggering topics are those which are likely to make other people feel bad, in any way whatsoever: for instance, rape, violence, bullying and many others may be triggering to some people. If someone, even just that one individual person, has a problem with a topic because it stirs demons best left in their pit, Do. Not. Bring. It. Up. Publicly. Use a spoiler box and think carefully about whether this is the place to broach the topic at all (see rule #1: "We are primarily a support thread.")

If you have questions or need help on something that involves triggering topics, please use spoiler tags and label your spoilers for trigger warnings. When in doubt, put trigger warnings.

3. Avoid discussing politics or religion.
It doesn't matter how much these two topics intersect with our forum topic, they are verboten. Sometimes, hints are...looked over, such as, "Man, in my country being gay sucks," but detail is right out, and even that could be considered willful disregard. Be careful. As the moderators themselves often say, if you aren't sure, don't.

4. Do not discuss moral justification.
No one here is going to discuss whether or not it's Right" or "Okay" to be LGBTAEIOUsometimesY or anything else. It's not topical, it's not relevant. We are, and we are here to cope with that and with the stresses it causes.
And no, my joking acronym doesn't constitute considering this rule less important.

5. Do not post sexually explicit content.
It's against forum rules, it's against decorum, and it will get us shut down pretty fast. What adults do behind closed doors is cool, and allusion is fine. Anything that could involve a diagram, though? No.

6. Avoid unfriendly debates.
Several topics of conversation have created huge arguments that made several people uncomfortable and defied our goal of being a support thread. This is especially true debates of definition. These do not always end well, and are best avoided.

Fight Club, AKA things we do not talk about.
This thread has a past of traumatic experiences which we would rather not repeat, and some topics which have created (in)famous rows include:
- The precise distinction between bi- and pansexual;
- What is or isn't a polyamorous relationship;
- Whether transgender is more correct than transgendered.
- Whether people who have homosexual sex should be able to give blood.
(Other topics may be added to the list.)
Unless you need support or help about this, please refrain from bringing up these topics.

Also, if a conversation that is not about support runs long, spoiler it if possible, even if it is polite.

Glossary of Common Terms

For reference, here is a list of commonly-used words in our community along with their definitions. Please keep in mind that this vocabulary is constantly evolving and that this list may not be complete. Any contributions to the list are appreciated.

Spoiler

Show

LGBT: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans*

LGBTAI: LGBT+Asexual/Aromantic/Agender+Intersex/All-Inclusive

QUILTBAG:
Q - Queer and Questioning
U - Unidentified
I - Intersex
L - Lesbian
T - Transgender/Transsexual
B - Bisexual
A - Asexual/Aromantic/Agender
G - Gay, Genderqueer

GSRM: Gender, Sexuality, and Romantic Minorities; sometimes only GSM

Where a word below is in italics, that means it has its own entry on the list.

A note on labels: many of these labels are seemingly interchangeable, and for some people they are. However, please do not presume to correct or judge another person's use of a label. Bisexual and pansexual are especially tricky in this regard, as are transgender and transsexual to a lesser degree.
Often the difference in why one person feels one label is appropriate and not another is deeply personal. If you wish to know more it is probably a topic to seek private advice on, from one of the people listed in the next section.

AFAB/AMAB: Assigned Female/Male at Birth.

Agender: Someone who lacks a gender.

Androgyne: Gender Identity with male and female aspects.

Androsexual: A person who is attracted to men.

Asexual: A person who does not feel sexual attraction.

Assignment/Assigned Gender:-The gender which someone is assigned at birth.

Bigender: Someone who identifies as both male and female (or as any two genders) either simultaneously or alternating. See also Genderqueer, Genderfluid

Binary, The: See: Gender Binary.

Bisexual: 1. attracted to two genders; 2. attracted to one's own gender and another gender; 3. attracted to various genders; 4. attracted to people regardless of gender; 5. ask the person who says they're bi what exactly they mean by that. See also Pansexual

Cis: See: Cisgender

Cisgender (CG): Somebody whose gender and sex align.

Demisexual: A person who is sexually attracted to someone only after they have formed an intense emotional relationship with them.

Dysphoria: The etymological opposite of "euphoria." A state of unease or generalized dissatisfaction. In this context, generally referring to the discomfort or dissociation Trans* people feel with their own body.

Male-to-Female (MtF): Someone who was assigned male at birth, but is female. (AKA: trans woman)

Female: See: Woman

Female-to-Male (FtM): Someone who was assigned female at birth, but is male. (AKA: trans man)

FAAB: Female Assigned at Birth.

Feminine: Something generally associated by society with women.

FFS: Facial Feminization Surgery: Surgery to reduce chin/nose/cheekbones. Associated primarily with MAAB Trans people

FtM: See: Female to Male

Gay: See: homosexual.

Gender Binary: The commonly held notion that there are only men and women on two extremes, with nothing in between.

Gender Expression (GE): How one expresses their Gender Identity to society.

Gender Identity (GI): How one feels inside society's idea of "man, woman, or other".

Genderfluid: Someone who fluctuates between different genders.

Genderqueer (GQ): Someone who is not of a binary gender; someone who is neither male nor female.

Gynosexual: A person who is attracted to women.

Heterosexual: A person who is attracted to members of the opposite gender.

Homosexual: A person who is attracted to members of their own gender.

HRT: Hormone replacement therapy. MtF's tend to progesterone, estrogens and androgen blockers, while FtM's take testosterone almost exclusively.

Lesbian: A woman who is attracted to women.

MAAB: Male Assigned at Birth.

Male-to-Female (MtF): Someone who was assigned male at birth, but is female. (AKA: trans woman)

Man/men: A cis man or trans man. Male.

Masculine: Something generally associated by society with men.

Pansexual: A person who is attracted to people regardless of gender. See also Bisexual

Polyamorous: A person who is interested in a relationship with more than one person.

Presenting: Trans* shorthand for appearing as their preferred gender, regardless of any HRT, SRS or other changes.

Trans*: Transsexual and Transgender primarily, with the asterisk denoting that the trans- prefix could be followed by any number of appropriate words. It also includes other labels, and is a catch-all term for people who identify as something other than their biological sex at birth.

Note: While "Trans*" was at one time preferred terminology, of late it has become seen as problematic for various reasons, and is being phased out of use. The preferred term at this time is simply "Trans". You use the term in the definition of dysphoria.
Also, FtM and MtF are sometimes seen as problematic, and i've been seeing a lot more 'Trans man/Trans woman' for target gender, moving on to 'Trans-feminine/Trans-masculine' which describes the direction of change, but does not define an end point.
"Transsexual" is also being phased out as being a bit obsessed with crotch bits and orientation linked either to the cis obsession with genital configuration, or the proven false idea that transgender people are just "super gay".

Transgender: Used in reference to a person whose sex(body) and gender(mind) are at odds or do not match. A transgender person can also identify as genderqueer, transsexual, or may use transgender as their only identity.

Transitioning: The process a Trans* person undergoes to move to their preferred gender. Often includes HRT, SRS, FFS.

Transsexual: In common terms the same as transgender above. In medical terms refers specifically to people who wish to transition from male to female or female to male, not accommodating any other options.

SRS: Sex Reassignment Surgery: Surgery to replace/transform a vagina into a penis, or vice versa. Mastectomies or plastic surgery may be used on breasts.

Sexual Orientation (SO): How one identifies who they are attracted to.

Significant Other(s) (SO): Person(s) you are in a relationship with.

Third-gendered: Someone who fits in a local society's third gender, usually male performing female tasks, occasionally vice versa. Also a person who feels they do not identify with any other gender identity.

Woman: A cis woman or trans woman. Female.

Allies: Heterosexual-Cisgender people who support equality for sexual, gender, and romantic minorities.

Aromantic: a person who does not experience romantic attraction.

Non-Binary: Same as Genderqueer.

Enby: Shortened form of "Non-binary".

Private Consultation.

We have a list of people who are willing and able to discuss topics that may not be thread-appropriate but are still topical. They can be reached by Personal Message (PM), thought they may not respond immediately, or may be on sabbatical.

Don't be afraid to reach out and talk to them.

Many of us on the list are more than willing to listen to your questions or concerns and will not just lash out in hostility or anger.

Spoiler: Topical Consultants

Show

Name: Especially familiar with the topic(s) of
Absol197: Gender identity issues.
Philemonite: Relationships, depression.
Astrella: GSRM rights, feminism, trans stuff, Skype.
Chess435: Skype.
Eirala: Trans stuff (esp emotional issues), Skype(no voice or video, however).
Eldest: General/basics, bisexuality, polyamory, pansexuality will Skype(voice if needed, no video).
Enrico Dandolo (Caroline): Trans stuff, mental health, feminism, asexuality, hugs, make-up advice. PM first, Skype chat if asked.
Golentan: Mental health, fluid and questioning sexualities, and issues arising from sexual trauma.
HMS Sophia: Trans stuff (esp hormones).
inuyasha: Shoulder on which to cry, someone to listen.
Irish Musician: PM, Rants/Venting.
KenderWizard: General/basics, gender and feminism, bisexuality.
Kesnit: Trans stuff (FtM), legal issues.
Lea Plath: Genderfluidity.
Lentrax: General/basics, depression, bullying.
Lix Lorn: General/basics.
Lycunadari: Genderqueer and agendered.
Metditto: PM/Skype for L, T, GQ, BDSM(Off-thread or Spoiler Triggered), demisexual, feminism, therapy, depression, dissociative identities.
Miraqariftsky: Family issues, transfolk issues, bullying, depression
Musashi: General/basics, asexuality/demisexuality, depression.
Mystic Muse: Skype-y goodness.
noparlpf: General/basics, asexuality, greysexuality, biology, Skype.
Partysan: PM/Skype, polyamory, pansexuality, BDSM(Off-thread or Spoiler Triggered), Rants/Venting.
Socratov: Skype-ness.
TaiLiu: General Transgender information, transphobia.
Warkitty: Academic/technical discussions, Make-up advice.
Wormwood74: Transgender legal issues, transgender outside contacts.

Some people are also willing to talk off-board, through Skype or email or other means; this is especially useful if your question involves board-forbidden topics such as religion or politics. Also, we can't (and ethically shouldn't!) give medical advice. If you need medical advice, please see a professional!

And as a parting note, I will say that even though moderators do not read PMs, they are still part of the forum and still subject to forums rules. Non-allowed topics and discussion should NOT be conducted via PM.


Previous Incarnations

Like the Glorious and Unconquered Sun, we have risen, lived, died, and risen anew, with many faces, many voices, many hearts. In this past, much can be found, both good, and bad, should one be brave or perhaps, foolish, enough to seek it.

Spoiler: Past Threads

Show

1. LGBT people in the playground
   
2. LGBT people in the playground - part II
   
3. LGBTitp - part III
   
4. LGBTitp 4: We are a family?
   
5. LGBTitp - Part Five
   
6. LGBTitp - Part Six
   
7. LGBTitp - Part Seven
   
8. LGBTitp - Part Eight
   
9. LGBTitp - Part Nine
   
10. LGBTAitp - Part Ten
    
11. LGBTAitp - Part Eleven
    
12. LGBTAitp - Part Twelve
    
13. LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
    
14. LGBTAitp - Part Fourteen
    
15. LGBTAitp - Part Fifteen
    
16. LGBTAitp - Part Sixteen
    
17. LGBTAitp - Part Seventeen
    
18. LGBTAitp - Part Eighteen!
    
19. LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen
    
20. LGBTAitp - Part Twenty - Critical Hit!
    
21. LGBTAitp - Part Twenty-One - BLACKJACK!
    
22. LGBTAitP Part 22: The Best There Is
    
23. LGBTAitP Part 23: Et tu, ~Bianca?
    
24. LGBTAitP: Alphabet Soup-with 24 different Vitamins!
    
25. LGBTAitP part 25: Doing Away With Subtitles
    
26. LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
    
27. LGBTAitP 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
    
28. LGBTAitP #28: Come Taste the Rainbow!
    
29. LGBTAitP #29: The Rainbow Outreach Program
    
30. LGBTAitP 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)
    
31. LGBTAitP #31: Cuddles Are On Back Order. Have Some Snuggles!
    
32. LGBTAitp #32: The Great Plushie Invasion!
    
33. LGBTAitp #33: The Thread at the End of the Rainbow!
    
34. LGTAitP #34: <3!!
    
35. LGBTAitp #35: What Midlife Crisis? :3
    
36. LGBTAitp #36: May Contain Bites!
    
37. LGBTAitP #37: Once upon a time...
    
38. LGBTAitP #38: Once More With Feeling!!
    
39. LGBTAitP #38: Making Your Way in the World Today....
    
40. LGBTAitP #40: Technicolour Partyboat
    
41. LGBTAitp #41 - Imprecise Terminology Supercenter
    
42. LGBTAitp #42: Better Than Skittles/The Meaning of Life!
    
43. LGBTAitp #43 [Insert snappy subtitle here]
    
44. LGBTAIitP #44: Quick, We Need To Vote A New Title!
    
45. LGBTAIitP #45: Rainbow Anarchy
    
46. LGBTAitP #46: I Cast Prismatic Hugs
    
47. LGBTAIitp #47: Weather Control Central
    
48. LGBTAIitp #48: For a Cuddly Tomorrow!
    
49. LGBTAIitp #49: Please check all baggage before boarding the Rainbow Rail Road
    
50. LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This Thread Has Exceeded its Maximum Awesome Level
    
51. LGBTAI+ 51: Lay That Hammer Down!
    
52. LGBTAI+ 52: Aces High
    
53. LGBTAI+ 53: The Nefarious Rainbow Syndicate
    
54. LGBTAI+ 54: A Full Deck
    
55. LGBTAI+ 55: AKA The Page We'll Get to if I Don't Make a New One
    
56. LGBTAI+ 56: Prismatic Spray

Webcomics that touch on... Well, everything related to the thread.

Spoiler

Show

Venus Envy. Long dead webcomic. The creator has chosen not to continue it and move forward in life.
Rain. A story of a MtF girl in high school.
Khaos Komix.As the creator puts it(from his site): "A complete GLBTWTFBBQ comic about gender and sexuality. (Trigger warnings for EVERYTHING and nothing is safe for work.)"
Always Raining Here. "Adrian is heartsick, Carter is horny. This is a story about their misadventures as awkward teenagers as they fumble through unrequited romances."
Tripping over you.An awkward blind date leads to better options.
Questionable Content. The LGBTA characters are fairly well done, and not stereotypes.
What's normal anyway. "What’s Normal Anyway? is a comic that discusses the trans male experience through the story of Mel, who takes the big risk of being himself and transitioning from female to male."
Princess. A webcomic.
Twokinds. Keveak: "It generally portrays GRSM matters positively and is quite a nice tale overall."
Misfile The Rose Dragon: "Ash is a young boy who, as a result of a screw-up in Heaven, gets stuck in a girl's body in a life he doesn't recognize, and has to deal with the changes and challenges of his new body while trying to get back his old life. Supernatural hijinks and car racing are involved."
Portside Stories A cute(and recently started) webcomic.
El Goonish Shive A long running webcomic, that I've heard often touches on lgbta relevant stuff.
Validation A Slice of Life webcomic focusing on Ally, a young transger woman, just living her life.
Wildflowers A self proclaimed triggering comic dealing with suicide, depression, dysphoria and more.

I know I missed a few webcomics, and if anyone finds more, feel free to PM them to me with a brief description, and I will add them.

And a picture made by the Giant to celebrate gay amrriage legalization in America.

Spoiler: Prismatic Spray

Show

[Jaycemonde]

Official "hi again" message goes here. Still working up the courage to actually share the news. Bear with me, please.

[JNAProductions]

Gosh darn it, I jumped the gun.

Take all the time you need. We're here for you.

[Athedia]

Aww, I miss the Giants pic in the intro thread.

[YossarianLives]

Yay, another thread. Woo-hoo!

I guess I'll go back to lurking now. See you in about 5 pages.

[JNAProductions]

Aww, I miss the Giants pic in the intro thread.

Should I add it back in? I wasn't sure if I should.

[Jaycemonde]

Should I add it back in? I wasn't sure if I should.

It wouldn't really be appropriate, I don't think. That was celebratory. For some reason the new name seems more solemn. Almost sad.




Still working on the news. I might break it after a nap.

[Athedia]

Should I add it back in? I wasn't sure if I should.

As Jaycemonde said, it wouldn't be appropriate. But I do miss it. Maybe in a spoiler? So it can be found by people just stumbling on the thread?

The solemn tone works, there has been... disagreement and anger recently and we need to acknowledge that the group is one of love and support.

[JNAProductions]

Added back in in a spoiler on the bottom.

It's really a great picture.

[Dire Moose]

Yay! New thread!

Also, is it just me, or have a lot of people been coming out as trans/questioning lately?

[JNAProductions]

Yes. Yes they have, Mr./Miss./Mz. Moose. (Is there a gender neutral form of address for that?)

[Rain Dragon]

Well, now that I've gone and said that and you've responded, Murphy's Law would dictate that a bunch of bad die rolls will happen in the next session and she will end up dying horribly.

Level 2 NG Elf Hunter named Siella with a Dromaeosaurus (using the basic "raptor" stats) named Fuzzball as her companion, in case you were wondering. Mainly basing her around archery and leaving Fuzzball to do melee.

Isn't that that anything that will go wrong will? So discussion did little to change that.
I really hope she doesn't end up dying horribly.

Ah cool, thanks. I like archery.

Official "hi again" message goes here. Still working up the courage to actually share the news. Bear with me, please.

Hello again. o/

Added back in in a spoiler on the bottom.

It's really a great picture.

I agree.

Yes. Yes they have, Mr./Miss./Mz. Moose. (Is there a gender neutral form of address for that?)

I've seen Mx around but I have no idea how one would pronounce it. /Googles

[JNAProductions]

According to Wikipedia, Mx. is pronounced "Miks" or "Muks".

[Lord Raziere]

Official "hi again" message goes here. Still working up the courage to actually share the news. Bear with me, please.

Hello Jaycemonde, nice to see you again.

and yes, for some reason despite me thinking I'm transgender, I don't post in this thread much. I guess I don't have much an opinion on these things aside from my own identity, either that or I'm not really interested in arguing them.

I wish all bravery to you.

[Dire Moose]

Or just use "Moose" and do away with the prefixes.

It seems like some of the things tying me back to being male are almost becoming less and less mentally relevant to me now, like they're not bothering me as much. I guess this might be a good thing, but on the other hand if I am completely trans and not somewhere in the middle the prospect of that as my future is honestly really intimidating.

So for the moment I think I can safely say I'm not a cis male, and that I am starting to identify myself more and more as female now. There are still things that are holding me back to being male, but it seems like those are becoming less of an issue as time goes on and my mind gets more used to the idea. Still haven't told anyone outside the internet about it though, and I'm still uncertain of myself.

[JNAProductions]

Feel free to talk about your feelings to us, or vent, or do whatever. Support thread is support thread.

I do have hopes that your friends and family take it well, though from what you've said that's not by any means guaranteed.

[Dire Moose]

Feel free to talk about your feelings to us, or vent, or do whatever. Support thread is support thread.

I do have hopes that your friends and family take it well, though from what you've said that's not by any means guaranteed.

I feel like before telling anyone back in my "core group" that has known me since I was a child, I need to be a lot more sure of myself than I am now, since they've known me long enough to want to challenge me the most on it. That, and they're the one group of people that it would hurt the most to lose, so I really would have to be sure I'm doing the right thing if I'm risking that.

My dad in particular would take this really bad, and I'm afraid that no matter how sure I am and how good a case I present to him that we're going to fall out over this.

[JNAProductions]

*Offers Moose pre-emptive hugs*

That sucks. While I haven't really told my family about it, I'm lucky enough to know they'll be okay with it, regardless of where I end up.

[Svata]

Post for thread sub and to say hi, etc...

[EternalMelon]

Decides its time to shave legs again.
Buys band-aids for any cuts.
Doesn't cut legs.
Wears tights all day

Why did I bother No regrets

[JNAProductions]

Decides its time to shave legs again.
Buys band-aids for any cuts.
Doesn't cut legs.
Wears tights all day

Why did I bother No regrets

*High fives EM*

Nice!

[JusticeZero]

On definitions, could you possibly note that:
While "Trans*" was at one time preferred terminology, of late it has become seen as problematic for various reasons, and is being phased out of use. The preferred term at this time is simply "Trans". You use the term in the definition of dysphoria.
Also, FtM and MtF are sometimes seen as problematic, and i've been seeing a lot more 'Trans man/Trans woman' for target gender, moving on to 'Trans-feminine/Trans-masculine' which describes the direction of change, but does not define an end point.
"Transsexual" is also being phased out as being a bit obsessed with crotch bits and orientation linked either to the cis obsession with genital configuration, or the proven false idea that transgender people are just "super gay".
You might also add to the definitions -
Aromantic: a person who does not experience romantic attraction.
Non-Binary: Same as Genderqueer.
Enby: Shortened form of "Non-binary".

[JNAProductions]

Man, having post number one is actual work. I suddenly regret my decision. :P

Post number one updated.

[Ravens_cry]

Decides its time to shave legs again.
Buys band-aids for any cuts.
Doesn't cut legs.
Wears tights all day

Why did I bother No regrets

For you, hun.
***
In other news, I went to my endocrinologist appointment today. I got some blood work to do, which luckily can be done locally, and a follow up appointment in three weeks, but, but! If all checks out health-wise, they're going to be prescribing me the hormones.

[Lissou]

The full form is "Mixter" so I'd go with "mix" for the pronunciation of "Mx". Although I've always thought "Mixer" would be more appropriate for the full version than "Mixter", which sounds too similar to "Mister" to me. (It comes from "mix", but doesn't only apply to people who consider themselves a "mix" of genders. Heck, it can be used for absolutely everyone, even binary people, like "parent" can be used for a mother or a father, not just a nonbinary parent).

[Ifni]

While "Trans*" was at one time preferred terminology, of late it has become seen as problematic for various reasons, and is being phased out of use.

Is this generally accepted, and if so could you provide any kind of reference? On Google, I'm finding arguments both ways, from within the last year (i.e. some people advocating for it, some saying it's problematic). Or are you just saying that this thread's particular community has made that decision? If so, no worries - I'm just curious as to whether there's a broader consensus on preferred terminology, as I have previously been told to use the asterisk.

'Trans-feminine/Trans-masculine' which describes the direction of change, but does not define an end point.

This seems a little odd language-wise to me, as I've usually seen "feminine" and "masculine" used to refer to presentation/behavior/roles, rather than gender identity. For example, there can be masculine women, and feminine men, either cis or trans. Does transfeminine mean "moving in the direction of being more feminine", or "moving in the direction of feeling oneself more a woman"? They're really not the same thing. Is someone who is AFAB, happily identifies as a woman, but considers themselves very masculine (i.e. they like masculine hobbies, dress, etc) in the trans-masculine category?

(Gender wiki seems to conflate the two, talking both about people who "identify as feminine more often than other genders" and people who "identify as female more than other genders".)

Non-Binary: Same as Genderqueer.

Again, I'm not certain this is generally accepted. A quick Google finds me at least some people who are arguing for a distinction. (One quote: "non-binary refers to gender that is not binary (not man nor woman) and genderqueer refers to gender that is queer (non-normative)" - in this sense genderqueer is a broader term.) That said, the definition of genderqueer above does seem like a good definition for non-binary.

Anyway, none of these are a big deal, I'm just curious.

[JusticeZero]

Is this generally accepted, and if so could you provide any kind of reference? On Google, I'm finding arguments both ways, from within the last year (i.e. some people advocating for it, some saying it's problematic).

It's that there IS a controversy, and I personally have seen a lot less trans* of late as a result.

Does transfeminine mean "moving in the direction of being more feminine", or "moving in the direction of feeling oneself more a woman"? They're really not the same thing.

The former. A transgender person transitioning to present, etc. in a more female fashion, but without declaring where on the spectrum the transition will finish at. Could be a trans girl, could be enby. The circles I am in have me in one of those because I'm doing some social and aesthetic transition steps right now, and because society is binarist, it's all in one direction - even though I'm not actually a boy or a girl. I can't speak to the other usage because I haven't seen it yet.
Oh, and you attached part of my explanation to your definition so it reads funny. :)

[Jaycemonde]

I guess I don't have much an opinion on these things aside from my own identity, either that or I'm not really interested in arguing them.

Spoiler

Show

I think that might be one of the biggest problems, and while it's being kept civil right now it looks like it's starting to take off again in just the discussions about definitions, like some kind of unpleasant business that needs to be seen to. Everyone seems to think that if they're trans they need to pick apart all the other trans people and say that their experiences are wrong and that they're "doing" transness wrong and argument over being trans is so ingrained in how most of the trans people on this forum think now that they don't ever bother coming to the thread unless they think they have to defend their position, because they're all tired of being here for the "community."

Sorry, I had to get that out. I wish we could just be a community like before, instead of a warzone barely contained behind a "this is how everything SHOULD be defined" DMZ.

Anyway, thank you for the kind words, everyone who's shared them. I was really unsure about coming back to the thread, and I'm still really unsure, but in light of the big news I have j kind of feel like I should try to care for my online relationships a bit more.



Okay, big news...first off, my girlfriend and I got an apartment. It's kind of a dump and it's shared with two other people, but it's a home, separate from my dad's house, and still close enough to places of business that at least one of us can stay in a job.

Second bit of big news, Evie is moving down from Alaska by plane next week to be in said apartment with me. It's a huge commitment and I won't lie and say I don't feel kind of uncomfortably guilty about making her come down, especially since Houston just voted against equal rights laws in businesses (please don't talk about this, I'm just mentioning it for context), but we're both happy with how things are turning out overall.

Third, Evie lost a friend a little while back. She was trans like us, not that her family seems to care about her pronouns in death, but they're going to get her ashes interred in the tombstone and it's going to have a picture of her fursona (a red wolf, if I recall) laser-engraved on it. That's honestly kind of another reason Evie's moving in with me--the cause of passing was a traffic accident and I'm a professional driver, so she nearly had a nervous breakdown when she realized the same thing could happen to me. On the other hand, at least she stopped texting while driving.

Fourth, I'm dropping out of college, full-time. I'm staying in one or two classes, but only the electives and only for personal enrichment. I'm done wasting time and money on a glorified high school-level curriculum when I've already got a job and I could be spending time improving my art.

Fifth, I've been getting a lot more art, both as gifts from friends and commissioned. I've been posting the majority of it on e621, which isn't nearly as awful a place as I originally thought even if their "Tag What You See" policy overrides what an artist or character owner knows about their characters (even where gender is concerned, though that doesn't affect me too much since all the applicable tags to my pictures are still feminine-coded and thus line up with my pronouns). I might want to share the more safe for work stuff I've gotten/will get in the future, if that's okay. This one's of me cosplaying as Poison:

Spoiler

Show

I guess that's pretty much it. As far as this thread is concerned, well, we already went over my fears on returning. It's nice to see the people who are still here. I miss a few faces that I haven't seen yet, including ones we all know had things happen to them. Rain, nice to see you've apparently embraced Goatism. JNA and Moose, nice to meet you. Sorry if I'm missing any new faces. I'm bad at this.

EDITEDIT: oh, there's one more thing. I'm openly pagan, now, specifically devoting myself to Baphomet aka OG Goat Mom (Toriel step aside). I'm happy I can finally express my own beliefs independently from my legal family. I'm gonna build a nice shrine, hhhh.

[EternalMelon]

*High fives EM*

Nice!

Thanks! I'm proud of my intact skin!

For you, hun.
***
In other news, I went to my endocrinologist appointment today. I got some blood work to do, which luckily can be done locally, and a follow up appointment in three weeks, but, but! If all checks out health-wise, they're going to be prescribing me the hormones.

I know, I'm glad i did it today so I don't have to do it tommorow.

Also, EFF YEAH, HORMONES!

[Heliomance]

On definitions, could you possibly note that:
While "Trans*" was at one time preferred terminology, of late it has become seen as problematic for various reasons, and is being phased out of use. The preferred term at this time is simply "Trans". You use the term in the definition of dysphoria.

It has? Since when?