Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

[DigoDragon]

I presume that Johnny's player has, at least once, subjected everyone to the song "There Ain't Nothin' Wrong With The Radio"?

Yes, played it early on when describing his car. XD


Sniper: “So we're just assuming this is the real Pinkie? No paranoia checks?”
GM: “Do you know any other ponies who can bounce like she does?”
Sniper: “That implies Sniper has studied Pinkie Pie in enough detail to recognize her bounce. I can assure you he has not.”

Pinkie Pie: Hiya, Sniper! Rose told me you were moping around here while they were at the Wonderbolts' party. Then Love was, like, do you know what would be the most fun ever? If you took Sniper on a date! I like fun things—especially the most fun thing ever—so here I am! I've already got it all planned out: dinner, movie, everything! Do you like comedies? Hey, put that thing down. Brazen told me you'd try that-- something about you constipating. Or was it compensating? Either way, you can't bring a gun on a date, silly!”

Rose: “If that don't work out then scoot over. Rose might take a shot here, considering how quickly she just got incapacitated by confectionery.”
GM: “Shot at Pinkie or Sniper...?”
Rose: “Sure.”

Brazen: “Brazen is going to have to train the lot of you on throwing and hoof to hoof combat ain't he?”
GM: “Brazen training mares? This can only end well.”
Brazen: “Shhhhh...” >.>

Sniper: “Brazen did grab Rarity, the most beautiful of the Mane 6, from behind. Just sayin'.”
Love: “Love only got to touch her fancy ankles. So scandalous.”

Rose: “Dang, I guess Sniper was right all along. Blast charges under the elevator really was the answer. I owe somepony an apology and a drink.”
Sniper: “The squad's relationships are so convoluted right now that I think everypony owes everypony an apology for every other action.”

[Gallade]

"You owe your life to my magnificent mouth-drying toothpaste."

"METALHEAD HAIRWHIPPING LANDSHARK!"
"I've never seen something so scary, weird and awesome. In that order."
"And now it's covered in spiders!"

"You're such a baby. Always eager to pop pills and potions as long as they make you buff, but I try to amputate ONE FINGER and you start whining."

"To all units, the traitorous paladin is accompanied by...this report is a joke, right? A half-blind owlbear in a tux, a panther dressed up as a samurai, a terrorist with a mohawk and a sentient talking plant and a life-sized singing doll?"

"We're still discussing whether to refer to Clara as a Termibaetor or a Yandereminator."

[TheTeaMustFlow]

Johnny: "The club plays both kinds of music. Country and Western."

Johnny: "My car is something awesome to behold."
Karashi: "Not the word I'd use to describe it."
Johnny: "There's nothing wrong with her."
Quieteyes: "I take it the car is really bad?"
Karashi: "When he said it took him five years to build it, he wasn't using the same model year for the parts."

I presume that Johnny's player has, at least once, subjected everyone to the song "There Ain't Nothin' Wrong With The Radio"?

I think he'd rather go for "One Piece At a Time" ;).

Cap'n Tempest: Do you know what happened in the last Pirate War?
Kiryu: It was the War To End All Wars... Oh, wait, no, that was 50 wars ago.

Kiryu: When a Fire Elemental and Water Elemental love each other very much...
Cap'n Tempest: Things get... Steamy.

Steiner: Most healing potions taste like toothpaste.

[Gallade]

Lucian:"You have no pulse! Why don't you have a pulse!"
Root:"It's nothing serious, really.Trust me, I'm a doctor"
Lucian:"Where is the gem?"
Root:"Promise you won't get mad?"
Lucian:"Promise."
Root:"It ate my heart and is now keeping me alive by necromantic energy alone. So I, uh, sorta need a new heart."

[DeTess]

Lucian:"You have no pulse! Why don't you have a pulse!"
Root:"It's nothing serious, really.Trust me, I'm a doctor"
Lucian:"Where is the gem?"
Root:"Promise you won't get mad?"
Lucian:"Promise."
Root:"It ate my heart and is now keeping me alive by necromantic energy alone. So I, uh, sorta need a new heart."

I had that happen to the arm of one of my characters once. Nasty stuff that.

[DigoDragon]

I think he'd rather go for "One Piece At a Time" ;)..

He played that one too!

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say the player really is into his country music.


Star: “Please don't. We don't want to 'cross the streams', ya know. I can ask Pinkie what it does when she gets ba—”
Pinkie: “Hello!”
Star: “Oh look. She's back. Lucky me.”

Rose: “Did... did Love just pull a 2-Brazen impact attack against the dragon's skull?”
GM: “At the cost of her legs. Yes, yes she did.”
Love: “Yay! That worked. I was really hoping she wouldn't hit the floor with an anticlimactic thud and a laugh track.”

Rose: “The EDF—able to face down dragons, nightmare Rarity, hordes of zombies… and then we're taken out by gravity.”

Sniper: “Instead of fubar, shouldn't Brazen's ladder be... rebar?”
Rose: “Hohoho, good one. I should steel that for later.”
Sniper: “Steel? But I trussed you!”
Rose: “Damn it. I been at this 10 minutes thinking of a comeback and can't. You win this contest of metal!”
GM: “Ah, I see your pun game still has some wrinkles that need to be ironed out.”
Sniper: “With the die cast, all I can say is: Pour you. Better luck next time.”
Rose: “My ability to conduct a good pun game is rusty.”
Sniper: “No matter how bad it gets, you just have to solder on.”
Rose: “I know, and I already paid the entry Fe for this party.”

Rose: “Haha, buck. I am soooo high and messed up right now and that's why I'm still single.”
Sniper: “Rose, I highly doubt that your altitude is impacting your relationship status.”
Pinkie: “Wow! I know my cupcakes are good, but I never-- Waaaaaait a minute. How many did she have?”
Star: “All of them.”
Pinkie: “Oooooooooooh... your tummy's gonna be cranky later.”
Rose: “That’s future Rose’s problem.”

[Joe the Rat]

Sniper: “Instead of fubar, shouldn't Brazen's ladder be... rebar?”
Rose: “Hohoho, good one. I should steel that for later.”
Sniper: “Steel? But I trussed you!”
Rose: “Damn it. I been at this 10 minutes thinking of a comeback and can't. You win this contest of metal!”
GM: “Ah, I see your pun game still has some wrinkles that need to be ironed out.”
Sniper: “With the die cast, all I can say is: Pour you. Better luck next time.”
Rose: “My ability to conduct a good pun game is rusty.”
Sniper: “No matter how bad it gets, you just have to solder on.”
Rose: “I know, and I already paid the entry Fe for this party.”

Weld done, team!

Off Hours Adventuring
DM: So, who's going to check out the mysterious blue glow beyond the trees?
GoblinBard, DuelistDude, NecroGnome, and MonkeyMonk: Me.
DM: So FairyHalfling, ElfKnight, and PalaDwarf stay behind.

Spoiler: Context

Show

FairlyHalfling can detect fey and is immune to illusions. Elfknight has a Warning weapon and can detect undead. PalaDwarf is a Paladin.

GoblinBard: Are you laughing?
DM: No. No I am not.

DM: The curtain of silvery hair parts as the figure rises, revealing a naked-
NecroGnome: Mmmm?
DM: - female -
MonkeyMonk: Mmmm?
DM -Goblin.
NG & MM: Ewww.
GoblinBard: All right!
Moonglum: {telepathic to GB} Danger! That's a shapeshifter!
GoblinBard: Aw crap.

DM: And with that fabulous grapple check, the zombie grabs its own head and decapitates itself out of embarrassment.

[Necroticplague]

"In retrospect, letting my id choose her own form was the second worst idea I've ever had, next to separating her from myself in the first place."

[ZeroGear]

Spoiler: Responses

Show

Sniper: “Instead of fubar, shouldn't Brazen's ladder be... rebar?”
Rose: “Hohoho, good one. I should steel that for later.”
Sniper: “Steel? But I trussed you!”
Rose: “Damn it. I been at this 10 minutes thinking of a comeback and can't. You win this contest of metal!”
GM: “Ah, I see your pun game still has some wrinkles that need to be ironed out.”
Sniper: “With the die cast, all I can say is: Pour you. Better luck next time.”
Rose: “My ability to conduct a good pun game is rusty.”
Sniper: “No matter how bad it gets, you just have to solder on.”
Rose: “I know, and I already paid the entry Fe for this party.”

I I take it you managed to iron out the details and really hammer that joke home?

Rose: “Haha, buck. I am soooo high and messed up right now and that's why I'm still single.”
Sniper: “Rose, I highly doubt that your altitude is impacting your relationship status.”
Pinkie: “Wow! I know my cupcakes are good, but I never-- Waaaaaait a minute. How many did she have?”
Star: “All of them.”
Pinkie: “Oooooooooooh... your tummy's gonna be cranky later.”
Rose: “That’s future Rose’s problem.”

Want some ice cream to go with that?

Finally got back to gaming after having to cover a lot of shifts.

SW: "Let me guess, we have to go into the evil creepy forest, don't we?"
WZ: "Yes, yes we do."
SW: "Why is it ALWAYS the evil creepy forest?"

Dealer: As you approach the cliff, you see a familiar shadow looming down at you...
JoJo: "Brand! Prepare to face justice for my family!"
DB: "Face my servants first."
SW: "We dealt with your servants before, we're not impressed."
Dealer: As you say that, the ground begins to shake, splitting open at the bottom of the rock on which Divine Brand is standing. From the crevice, two figures emerge. The first one appears to be a lanky thestral, dark mane and tail flowing like oily silk, the second could easily be mistaken for a fully grown bull, were in not evident that the horns on his head were part of his armor. Both ponies, garbed in armor reminiscent of the ancient lunar guard that once served under princess Luna, glare at you with eyes the color of smoldering embers.
SW: "...I take it back, we're impressed."

Evil Giant pony (Tar Rust): "I'll crush you skulls between my thighs like a sparrow's egg!"
SW: "I don't swing that way!"
WZ: "Me neither!"

JoJo: "How are you doing that with your mane?"
Evil Thestral (Blue Fold): "The better princess had a wonderful caretaker for her soldiers."

WZ: "So, what's the plan?"
SW: "Go in under the cover of darkness, lure him outside, then keep him occupied until morning comes and he fires in the sunlight?"
JoJo: "That's a great plan!"
SW: "It's a terrible plan!"
JoJo: "Then why did you suggest it?"
SW: "So you could talk me out of it and suggest something better!"

[DeTess]

DM: Give me a second, I* need to plot a rather complicated Curve.
*a second later*
DM: Roll a D20.
Player: I got a 17.
DM: You've been dead for 85 years.

[Gallade]

"How strong is our telekinesis, on a scale from first-year Wingardium Leviosa to blue Gravity Gun?"

"Do you have any 'Sorry I drove a sword through your lung' and 'Sorry I kicked you off a flying Roc and in front of a Death Knight' cards? Preferrably with little hearts on them, we're a couple."

[DigoDragon]

Spoiler: Responses!

Show

Weld done, team!

Hee hee. :3

DM: And with that fabulous grapple check, the zombie grabs its own head and decapitates itself out of embarrassment.

Seems like this sums up the entire session. XD

"In retrospect, letting my id choose her own form was the second worst idea I've ever had, next to separating her from myself in the first place."

At what point was that sounding like a good idea?

I take it you managed to iron out the details and really hammer that joke home?

YES. :D

Evil Giant pony (Tar Rust): "I'll crush you skulls between my thighs like a sparrow's egg!"
SW: "I don't swing that way!"
WZ: "Me neither!"

Please tell me that Tar rust sounds exactly like Wreck it Ralph's Zangief.

SW: "So you could talk me out of it and suggest something better!"

And with that, I now wish I was part of this game. XD

DM: You've been dead for 85 years.

Well that was a twist in the complication. O_o

"Do you have any 'Sorry I drove a sword through your lung' and 'Sorry I kicked you off a flying Roc and in front of a Death Knight' cards? Preferrably with little hearts on them, we're a couple."

This level of companionship worries me. :o

Rose: “Alright, who needs their ouchies healed?”
Brazen: “Ah need... Ah bit of medical attention over here... Took ah... Floor to the knee.”

GM: “Never let it be said that Sniper does not have a sense of humor.”
Sniper: “Or he's just starting to develop one.”
Rose: “This is like... 20 percent intrigue and 80 percent horror.”

Love: “I didn't realize how many strength checks would come up.”
Rose: “I can't remember if Rose had to make any.”
Love: “That only means Rose isn't smashing enough stuff.”
Rose: “Kind of hard to do when you're a Strength 10, three-legged pony without powered armor.”

Sniper: “So Star Chaser's little brother is a professional troll. Interesting.”
GM: “It's his special talent. His cutie mark is the word 'lol', which he sometimes claims means he's a lifeguard because it's of a pony drowning.”

Rose: “Well, only one thing for it.”
Rose: *paints Sniper's cutie mark on her flank*
Sniper: “Welcome to the Dark Side. The cookies and milk are in the back next to the bloodlust juice.”

Sniper: “And then the entire fight turns into a contest of wills as Rose attempts to matador Flutterbat with an apple and a syringe. Spacial bullfights are weird.”

Rose: “Phew, I'm glad I didn’t earn a kill count yet. This encounter was close.”
Cmdr. Wildcat: “Miss Rose, you're in the military. How have you not iced somepony yet?”
Rose: “Practice. And the dice hate me.”
Pinkie: “OH NO! THE FOURTH WALL!”

Sniper: “Nobody brought rope. We all fail Adventuring School.”
Rose: “I'm a doctor, not a cowpony.”

[Beacon of Chaos]

BCG still on hiatus so here are some randoms.

GM: Survival is the Bear Grylls skill. Anything he can do, you can do.
Player: Just make sure to double check that you actually are out of water before you drink your own urine.

Player 1: Oops!
Player 2: That's a cheese-covered 11.
GM: I always knew my players were cheesing their dice rolls!

GM: It's an owl with the head of a bear.
Player 1: I'm imagining a bear-sized head on an owl-sized body.
Player 2: Watch out, I hear they have deafening hoots.

Player: I'm going to kick the door in the head.

[Guizonde]

grim: my camel broke.
eva: again? what would you do if i didn't heal up your mounts?
grim: walk.
monk and josé: duh!

dm: so the team gets caught in the quicksand...
korinn and josé: *evil glare*
dm: except for the usual suspects...
grim: glad that korinn isn't sinking me down that much.
josé: it was your turn to carry her in your backpack.

dm: no, monk, no matter how good you rolled, you did not manage to pack a galleon oar in your backpack!!
monk: there goes my sandboarding career...
korinn: just stick to making a career out of not dying, please? it's really not too much to ask.
monk: you don't have my dice!!

[Gallade]

Paladin:"Stop healing that monster!"
BBEG's minion:"Well YOU stop dodging my stingers!"
Skald:"Well YOU stop bubbling my bird!"
BBEG:"Well YOU stop groping my staff!"
Player:"Wait, since he's an electricity elemental, doesn't that make it a lightning rod?"

(Telekinesis shenanigans)

"This spell summons...an army of tiny, invisible engineers that start building traps for you"
"What? I ready Purge Invisibility, I want to see that s--t!"

[DigoDragon]

GM: “The suicide bomber mare you left behind, I should mention.”
Sniper: “Can't win 'em all. When things get that gassy, you just can't stick around. Besides, I don't know if Brazen could stack the Jenga tower four ponies high.”

Narration: “Sniper's eyes opened, then squinted to focus. He immediately found himself in a less than desirable situation: sandwiched between two mares.”

Pinkie: “Hello, Rosie! Changeling test time! I promise I'm not, but you'd better test anyway.”
Star: “How did you...?”
Pinkie: “I stepped into the animation studio, of course! Then, I found the right frame and jumped back in—waitasec, this isn't the show.”
[Beat]
Pinkie: “How did I get here?”

Rose: “So, you're not saying its aliens, but...”
Sniper: “No, I'm pretty sure I explicitly said aliens.”

Happy Hooves: “That's where Bristle is. He's hooked himself up to the hydraulic-interface-arm. He's... different than before.”
Bristle: “That was... Exhilarating! Ha! Oh my queen, your presence filling my mind! Ah, come once more! Overwhelm me! Consume me, my queen!”
Rose: “Well that doesn't sound ominous.”

Brazen: “We've damned near killed some of ya here and there. Even if those were unintentional.”

Happy: “Normally ponies ask each other on a date before dressing them up.”
Rose: “I'll hook you up with my friend later.”
Love: “No, the gloves are for your ears. I want to put sock puppets on ponies’ ears.”
Happy: “Ooooooh! I get it now.”

GM: “I like how everyone else is like, ‘Oh no! A boss-style enemy!’ and Love is like, ‘So awesome!’ with shining eyes (you know the kind). And then she still pulls out her gun and is ready to shoot Bristle.”

[Joe the Rat]

Pinkie: “Hello, Rosie! Changeling test time! I promise I'm not, but you'd better test anyway.”
Star: “How did you...?”
Pinkie: “I stepped into the animation studio, of course! Then, I found the right frame and jumped back in—waitasec, this isn't the show.”
[Beat]
Pinkie: “How did I get here?”

So that's what John Byrne has been up to lately...

[Guizonde]

rogue trader character creation:

me: alright, i've got a name: eustache-henri-eugène marty de raimun, from the planet mirepoix. and that's without the eventual titles.
gm: well, look at you! we'll call you raymond.

gm: so you walk in to find a tau, a kroot, an eldar and an ork...
me: oh, god-emperor, i hope this isn't the start of some cosmic joke.
tau: i'm pretty sure you won't be disappointed either way.

kroot: soooo, i kinda sorta ate daemon for lunch.
me: where the hell was your shaper?!
kroot: what shaper?
me: that'll explain it.

-----------------------------------

pf:

monk: guys? josé's gone.
korinn: his beret is floating in the middle of the lake.
josé: *drowning*
dm: spot checks!
*best score is a 6*
korinn: i swear, that dude disappears like some sort of ghost.
grim: probably off doing something morally reprehensible.
josé ooc: i swear, i'll never forgive you guys if i drown in fresh-water.

dm: josé surfaces with one round of breath left in his lungs!
josé: my mustache is 87% salt and 13% too awesome to be drowned in a lake!
korinn: aaaaand he finally went off the deep end.
monk: and here i thought it'd be his damned book that do'd it.

grim: mind telling me why you've got an evil book chained to your belt?
josé: it's for the good of us all?
*grim bats it off of josé, book proceeds to hop towards josé slowly*
josé: that's new. i'm gonna need a leash if i've got a pet tome of eldritch horror.
grim: i set it on fire.
dm: josé spontaneously combusts.
korinn: called it!

korinn: right, so what's a krootox again?
josé: you know how you're in my backpack with my crossbow on my shoulders ready to fire? like that, but much bigger and uglier.
korinn: so, like when i'm riding in grim's backpack?
grim: hey!!

josé: i hit the earth elemental in the cojones out of spite.
dm: good news, you broke rocks with your foot. bad news, you just gave yourself 3 damage.
josé: must. not. show. pain.
monk: dude, it takes training to break rocks.
josé: no, it takes steel-toed boots!

korinn: so, how did it go in sarenrae's temple anyway?
free: nobody died, and we're back here. it went ok! *bluffs*
korinn: *sense motive* bull. the monk was with you. there's no way in hell that it went ok.
monk: i resemble that remark!!

josé: i cast true strike and aim for the weak spot!
*crits*
dm:... even though the possessed atrocity can't show it, you've just stapled his sack to his thigh with a crossbow bolt. i consider it's now slowed because it's awkward to move.
eva: i think i understand why the monk doesn't like getting hit there now.
monk: finally a session where it's the enemies who get hit there!!

josé: dude, the dm's losing his touch. you haven't gotten hit below the belt all session and nothing's tried to hit on me!
dm: the book is giving you lovey-dovey eyes.
josé: ... i'll curse as soon as i figure out how that works.

dm: ok, no more waterboarding prisoners with champagne.
team minus josé: awww....
josé: welp, good thing i can summon wine too!
dm: *evil glare*

dm: no korinn, grim is not "weapon platform 1", and josé is not "stealth platform 1".
korinn: just wait until i can build constructs. i'll get a mecha and steamroll your game!
dm: more than usual, you mean?

[D.KnightSpider]

GM: Which would you rather have: a sharper mind or a stronger body?
Truly Sweet: Both.
---

GM: Mememememe!
---

Peanut Gallery: You look like a sick cow.
Truly Sweet: I do not!
Peanut Gallery: With a muffin top for hair.
---

GM: When did this turn into the Message of Zelda?
---

GM: Uh, why are you running into everything?
Truly Sweet: Because I have the 'Needs Glasses' quirk and I'm not wearing glasses.
GM: Why aren't you wearing glasses?
Truly Sweet: Because I don't know I need them!
GM: ... Fair enough.
---

Applejack: She just won them over with an olive oil and pickle sandwich. I think she'll be fine.
---

Truly Sweet: Why are you writing all this down?
---

GM: What are you investigating?
Truly Sweet: The tortoise' chewing ability!

[DigoDragon]

Spoiler: Responses!

Show

So that's what John Byrne has been up to lately...

Ha! It would seem so.

monk: dude, it takes training to break rocks.
josé: no, it takes steel-toed boots!

Best one out of the stack. That's a PC that's going to go far and then die a horrible death. :D

Truly Sweet: Why are you writing all this down?

Writing down quotes?

Love: “Well, Love always did say that Rose added spice to the day. So, more adventure? Yay!”
Rose: “That and hooking Love up with Happy Hooves accidentally?”
GM: “Now, now. No need to give Love a harem or anything. Happy is just a silly pony.”

Bristle: “Smoke? Did you think I can't see through that when the pathetic computers in your suit can? I, Bristle! The cleverest of all changelings? I who control the entire Maneframe?”
Doctor Whooves: “Weeeell. That's not entirely true. Hullo! I see Ms. Hooves found you and brought you here. Brilliant! Always count on a Hooves. Dependable family the lot of them. Bit eccentric, but that's the pot calling the kettle black.”

Rose: “Sniper, eat the muffin! Trust me!”
Sniper: *spits out the muffin*
Love: “Eat the magical muffins dang-it!”

Rose: “A true changeling? Oh yeah, cosplaying like the last prune in a jar is certainly true something.”

Love: “Let my friend with all the explosives go and my other friends too and I'll surrender without blowing us back down to Equestria.”
Bristle: “Hmm, let me think about that real har—how about no?”

Love: “Wait a second! I want to return my one free love interest. Love is a fighter. She'll earn all her victories!”
GM: “You have selected hardcore difficulty. Suddenly, all the NPCs hate Love for no particular reason. Good luck!”
Love: “Yay! Hardcore mode. I'd like to turn on biology functions options too. Those can be real engaging.”
GM: “I was mostly kidding about the free part. Please don't drop one of Zecora's potions in Star Chaser's drink.”

Sniper: “Mental scarring isn't the same as a perfectly placed bullet. His Cutie Mark is murder, not sadism.”

GM: “You will note that he has used strictly nonlethal means against you all so far, buuuut... Yeah.”
Rose: “Nonlethal to Bristle just means Chrysalis gets to personally tear Rose's remaining legs apart like flower petals.”

GM: “Congratulations! Rose does not fall over and go blind. Again.”

[Gallade]

Root:"PATHETIC MORTALS, THE ONE WHO WALKS AMONG YOU IS ALREADY MY THRALL!"
Geralt:"Wha?"
Root:"I said, besides making me sliiightly more vulnerable to suggestion, the gem doesn't seem to have many detrimental effects."

[Necroticplague]

"Why am I in such a good mood? I got to do what I normally do anyway, except circumstances beyond my control mean it was actually the right thing to do in this case. So instead of getting run out of town for murdering someone who couldn't really fight back, i'm the saivor of this place! can you say 'win-win'?"

[Gallade]

DM:"The Soul Eater is confused and...tries to suck its own soul"
Lucian:"That's either dividing by zero or the grossest thing ever."

[Gallade]

"Which one are you, Lucian? The deluded white cell, or the cancerous savior?"

[Beacon of Chaos]

Rose: “Sniper, eat the muffin! Trust me!”
Sniper: *spits out the muffin*

Spoiler: Oh no

Show

[Gallade]

"Is it too much to ask you to believe us for a second? We have a book that will destroy the entire world if it grows too powerful, we just can't show it to you because right now it's fused with Lucian's shadow and we haven't found out how to take it back, and one of the keys to unlocking it is currently serving as my heart."

[TheTeaMustFlow]

(After the summoner has to roll a huge number of saving throws)
Steiner (OOC): We need to kill these things. Not because of the space-time continuum or anything, but purely to save Addi from RSI.
Addi (OOC):Being a Pokemon Master is hard!
Steiner (OOC): To roll them is my real test! To type it is my cause!

(Steiner realises his anti-demon aura hit Addi's pet darkness elemental)
Steiner (OOC): Mein Summoner... Steiner...
Cap'n Tempest (OOC): ... Steiner hit Galael with the Aura. The demon has been banished.
Steiner (OOC): Oh, fff...Fegelein.

[DigoDragon]

Steiner (OOC): To roll them is my real test! To type it is my cause!

Well that tune is gonna be stuck in my head all morning.


Rose: “Well, we're not Earth horses. Rose has a mangled stump of dangling wires.”
GM: “Correct. She tore it to shreds, so you have a few metal scraps there as well!”
Rose: “That... sounds like a nasty improvised stabbing weapon I'll try not to remember.”

Sniper: “I guess we can always go the Han Solo route and attempt to shoot it.”
GM: “The problem with going the Han Solo route is that you’re not Han Solo.”

Rose: “For the love of Luna's left hoof, watch out Sniper, incoming fire. Hell if I'm just gonna sit around waiting to die with my last cybernetic thumb up my butt.”

Doctor Hooves: “Let me just...Oh. Fancy that. The door’s jammed. I suppose that would from somepony shooting it with a laser just now. Brilliant plan, by the way.”
Sniper: “Thanks. I was rather proud of it.” (*pulls the door free with raw strength*)
Doctor Hooves: “Now, be sure you don’t pull the wrong wires of the entire station could...well, things couldn’t get much worse, actually.”

GM: “Hey guys! You remember that grey-coated pegasus mare who had all the grenades strapped to her and her eyes closed? The one you left behind and never went back for?”
Love: “The one that was bleeding out? Nope!”

Brazen: *has Bristle by the collar*
Bristle: “N-Now, I know what you’re thinking. ‘Should I squish the changeling or not?’ A-and the answer may surprise you…”

Love: “You ponies alright down there?”
Rose: “Just fine. Sitting in a tight space with Sniper. Couldn't be better.”

[Gallade]

Yamra:"Aw, I wanna fly too. I wanna fly forever! Can you give me something to make me fly?"
Trund:"I give her the ring. There, now you can fly as much as you want."
Ricwart:"You turned her into a bird! You managed to shut her up for good!"
Yamra:"Tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet!"
Ricwart:"...for a loose definition of shut up, I guess."

DM:"And now you're having an out of body experience"
Ricwart:"This is the last time I drink 'as much as I can'"

DM:"You awaken from your hangover."
Trund:"I tell Yamra to put her top back on"
DM:"Alysia gets regenerated and resurrected. She doesn't have any of her equipment, though. Or clothes. And Yamra is pointing a gun at your forehead"
Yamra:"I catch you staring and your brain is mush."
Trund:"On second thought, you can keep the top off."
Yamra:"Aaaand...?"
Trund:"...under the table will do."

DM:"After a while, the table stops shaking and the moaning stops. Trund and Yamra come out, still adjusting their clothes back on. What do you do?"
Everyone:"STARE!"
Trund:"I knew it..."

[ZeroGear]

Spoiler: Responses

Show

Please tell me that Tar rust sounds exactly like Wreck it Ralph's Zangief.

Yes.

dm: no, monk, no matter how good you rolled, you did not manage to pack a galleon oar in your backpack!!
monk: there goes my sandboarding career...
korinn: just stick to making a career out of not dying, please? it's really not too much to ask.
monk: you don't have my dice!!

Ah the daily troubles of adventurers.

Root:"PATHETIC MORTALS, THE ONE WHO WALKS AMONG YOU IS ALREADY MY THRALL!"
Geralt:"Wha?"
Root:"I said, besides making me sliiightly more vulnerable to suggestion, the gem doesn't seem to have many detrimental effects."

Yeah, that can't go wrong.

"Which one are you, Lucian? The deluded white cell, or the cancerous savior?"

Or the overzealous placebo tablet?

"Is it too much to ask you to believe us for a second? We have a book that will destroy the entire world if it grows too powerful, we just can't show it to you because right now it's fused with Lucian's shadow and we haven't found out how to take it back, and one of the keys to unlocking it is currently serving as my heart."

Sounds reasonable, good luck with that.

Brazen: *has Bristle by the collar*
Bristle: “N-Now, I know what you’re thinking. ‘Should I squish the changeling or not?’ A-and the answer may surprise you…”

I'm not so sure about that.

Love: “You ponies alright down there?”
Rose: “Just fine. Sitting in a tight space with Sniper. Couldn't be better.”

Hopefully you won't end up in a tube like this: http://www.junkfoodtaster.com/wp-con...4-1024x576.jpg

SW: "Is is odd that we haven;t run into any enemies yet?"
JoJo: "Shut up and don't jinx it."
WZ: "For all we know they could be waiting around the corner..."
*Swarm of dark shapes come rushing out a nearby door*
WZ: "...to spring a trap."
JoJo: "What did I JUST SAY?"

DB: "Fools! You think you can match me? All your efforts are useless, useless Useless, USELESS! A mere breezie could never hope to defeat a hydra!"
SW: "A Breezie? We are at least goats in that comparison!"
JoJo: "Don't encourage him!"

DB: "I will be back, I swear it! You will never escape my wrath! I will return, and when I do, I will destroy everything you have crated! I will wipe your legacy from the face of Equestria! YOU WILL PAY!"
*is then sealed into a magical tree*
SW: "Looks like his bark was worse than his bite."
*SW is then pelted with minatures, candy, and dice*

ZW: "So what happens now?"
JoJo: "I think I'll move east. There's a town startin' up called Manehatten. Think I'll settle down there, start up a family. Maybe some day they'll start up the family business again."
SW: "Remind me, I know you were farmers of some kind, but what what your crop?"
JoJo: "Apples."
Dealer: And now I realize that Jonagold is a type of apple, making him the ancestor of the Apple family.

Dealer: And thus ends the adventure of Joyous Jonagold, Wild Zap, and Speed Wing. Who knows what the future holds, find out next time