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2021-06-09, 12:52 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
I have a feeling that's rather biased, considering that the Eldar don't want to get eaten by Slaanesh. And Slaanesh is basically the Dark Eldar turned up to eleventy-thousand and yes I'm aware that's not a real number.
Cool elan Illithid Slayer by linkele.
Editor/co-writer of Magicae Est Potestas, a crossover between Artemis Fowl and Undertale. Ao3 FanFiction.net DeviantArt
We also have a TvTropes page!
Currently playing: Red Hand of Doom(campaign journal)Campaign still going on, but journal discontinued until further notice.
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2021-06-09, 01:03 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
WH40k Tangent:
40k FTL is not instant actually. warp travel is....not the most reliable thing:
Estimating the length of a Warp Jump, at least for the Imperium, is extremely difficult and inconsistent. As the Warp is ever-shifting, determining the length of a jump is difficult for even even semi-fluctuating passages. The Questio Logisticus branch of the Administratum is dedicated to this difficult task.[11]
One example is given for travel between the Hive World of Proxx and the Mining World of Hephastian. These planets are separated between dozens of light years and a standard voyage in the warp will take one to six weeks. However some voyages have been recorded as taking 1,200 years and another in as little as two minutes. 32% of the voyages have yet to reach their destination.[11]
40k Warp Travel: the no. 1 reason to stay on a single planet and hope you don't get invaded by something.
* May not attack the players with daemon versions of memes they've said too many times when a Gellar field fails
** there are no daemons of chuck norris facts trying to roundhouse kick them in the face
*** may not attack them with horrific daemon versions of monty python characters that only grow stronger each time they repeat their jokes
**** or attack them with daemonettes of slaanesh who look like Bowsette.
***** or any daemon versions of "cursed memes".
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2021-06-09, 02:10 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2009
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- In my library
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
The Necrons might, might, have it in s practical sense, which is why reverse engineering their drives would be so amazing. For everybody else it seems to be a choice between Warp travel z the Webway, or trying to get the ship to relativistic speeds.
Now there may be other ways to go FTL. I believe that humanity tried several ways the Dark Age of Technology and decided that Warp travel was the heat problematic, and that says a lot about how dangerous it impractical the other methods were (and this was before the Astronomicon). Sadly it's still not quite clear if humanity ever reached Necron levels of technology, so there may be a human-built Bergenholm out there in depths of the galaxy.
And also less evil than the emperor. Well, maybe not Khorne, but you'll find that the others are less evil than the emperor (assuming that the emperor is indeed still alive and still in command and that the ecclesiarchy hasn't actually just been doing a millenia long rehash of Weekend At Bernie's). ("what about slaanesh eating all those eldar souls?" I hear you say. Well, that's the same kind of language the craftworld Eldar use to describe their beloved Ynnead, so it can't really be all that bad if it's what even the anti-slannesh eldar are angling for anyway)
*The Imperial Cult is not "a rehash of Weekend At Bernie's"
Although I'd b actually say that Khorne might not be as evil as Big E. He's just a god simple passions. Now Slaanesh, there's an evil one. Sure, prehensile genitalia might sound fun now, but it's the start of a long road where eventually the acid-gargling and rack start to lose their thrill and you have to move into more debased forms of sensation like mutual torture or yodelling.
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2021-06-09, 02:30 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Feb 2016
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
Last edited by Bohandas; 2021-06-09 at 02:31 AM.
"If you want to understand biology don't think about vibrant throbbing gels and oozes, think about information technology" -Richard Dawkins
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2021-06-09, 03:09 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
I don't think space travel is the main factor in how quickly humanity in 40k will fade away. What I mean is more... there's a lot of human worlds, so for all of them to be destroyed will take a long time. It's often said, though that's probably fairly poetic, that there's a million human worlds. If they lose a handful every year, that still means that it will take them hundreds of thousands of years to all die out, even if it's a steady downward trajectory with no rallying. Now, with the story being actively advanced there might be one big enemy ending things, chaos, necrons, tyranids, but as the setting was presented for most of it's history, it's just untold enemies slowly chipping away at the Imperium. You lose one planet to orcs, and then another to corsairs, and then three to tyranids, one undergoes exterminatus because the Genestealers got out of hand and then you lose one because food shipments from the nearest agriworld got delayed by warpstorms and almost everyone starves or becomes a khorne-worshipping cannibal. That's not a lot of worlds to lose in a year, out of a million. But if you lose ten, or a hundred planets every year, more than you settle or reconquer other ones, eventually you're gone.
Steamrollers are slow, but unstoppable.Last edited by Eldan; 2021-06-09 at 03:10 AM.
Resident Vancian Apologist
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2021-06-09, 03:48 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2009
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- In my library
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
Okay, having run the numbers, if the Imperium consists of exactly a million world's (it's probably more, less then one Space Marine per world and ask that, but it's the best number we've got) and loses .03% of it's worlds per year (so 300 in year 1) then after 10,000 years they still have about 50,000 worlds. The decline didn't start immediately after the the Horus Heresy, and worlds are still occasionally (re)claimed, so the actual proportion is probably lower.
So yeah, a long time.
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2021-06-09, 04:10 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2016
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
The Chuck Norris daemons are Khornites I presume? I dunno enough about Monty Python to know which those would be, though.
…Just to be clear, “Imperium implodes” isn’t the same as “humanity goes extinct and/or the remains get screwed over by daemons and/or Drukhari for all eternity” right? And “Chaos or the Necrons winning” doesn’t mean “the entire universe is permanently screwed over for all eternity”?Cool elan Illithid Slayer by linkele.
Editor/co-writer of Magicae Est Potestas, a crossover between Artemis Fowl and Undertale. Ao3 FanFiction.net DeviantArt
We also have a TvTropes page!
Currently playing: Red Hand of Doom(campaign journal)Campaign still going on, but journal discontinued until further notice.
Extended sig here.
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2021-06-09, 05:05 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
I mean, there's probably going to be second order effects. Every Agri-World lost to orc Spores probably also means a hive world starving. Losing a forge world also means losing a war somewhere else. And if you lose half your Worlds, I assume you also lose a good percentage of your supply lines.
Resident Vancian Apologist
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2021-06-09, 05:07 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
*** may not attack them with horrific daemon versions of monty python characters that only grow stronger each time they repeat their jokesResident Vancian Apologist
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2021-06-09, 05:18 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
Well, that goes back to "the Galaxy is big". We know there's plenty of one-world Xenos races out there. The 40k wiki lists what is probably around a hundred known sentient species. So, "the Imperium implodes" doesn't mean all of humanity dies, no. As said above, some random world of dirt farmers somewhere might not even notice the Imperium doesn't exist anymore. We'd have a lot of worlds of hunter-gatherers, medieval societies, even a few early industrial societies that might be reasonably comparable to modern Earth. Scavenger worlds not too unlike something like Fallout, digging through the remains of city-sized factories for half-broken laser weapons. Perhaps even a few systems that have more than one inhabited planet and limited space travel between them. They'd mostly be fine, until.
There wouldn't be any large armies anymore to bail anyone out if a Waagh or a Chaos raid comes through, no one to take away and train or kill uncontrolled pskyers and most likely, the remaining humans would be too primitive to do interstellar travel at all, even before we mention that there now isn't an Astronomicon anymore. They couldn't even hope to fight Tyranids or Necrons.
Thousands of planets might remain, some for thousands of years. But they'd be without protection in a hostile galaxy and it would take one instance of bad luck for any of those worlds to be destroyed.
There's a few scenarios where everyone dies. The main tyranid fleet arrives and no one can stop them, they just roll over the galaxy, devour all life and then likely leave. Though at least one tyranid hive-fleet seems to be settling in and is actually colonizing star systems, so they might even stay. Some People theorize that if chaos wins, they might just turn the entire galaxy into daemonworlds that are halfway in the warp. If that happens, everyone is unbelieveably screwed. Necrons don't seem to want to wipe out all life anymore, for the most part, but they might still pull out a galaxy-destroying superweapon they just had lying around. They can already blow up star Systems halfway through the galaxy.
Alternatively, GW might decide that Bobby B (Roboute Guilliman) is successful enough at pulling together the Imperium that he can actually reverse the downwards trajectory for a bit.
But barring those cataclysmic Events, I'd expect a theoretical Warhammer 60k to be almost exclusively inhabited by primitives constantly on the edge of destruction, with very Little hope to get back to the stars any time soon.
Really rather like humanity before the Emperor came around last time.Resident Vancian Apologist
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2021-06-09, 05:47 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
Spoiler: Wh40k*uncertain hand motion* Well maybe not? I mean Chaos successfully doing that is certainly their intention and the settings narrative is staunchly unrepentantly about how things always get worse without even an anti-hero to truly save day, only various extremists and lesser evils making hard decisions and killing so many people that they make the Punisher look reasonable and heroic in comparison. The situation is unlikely to get better and even if it technically doesn't mean that, the Imperium getting crushed still means there is no force in the universe to protect humanity from all the threats around it: between orkz, tyranids, necrons and Chaos, no astronomican to light the way, humanity would quickly collapse into various isolated worlds like they did in the Age of Strife, with every planet and system for themselves, and thus all depends on how well they can defend things without help....problem: most plots in WH40k are about imperium forces responding to some world asking for help because they're being invaded.
I just wouldn't put good odds on the humans in that scenario even if its not guaranteed
* The "Tis But a Scratch" Knight is not an unholy hybrid of Khornate and Nurgle energy who is a seemingly unstoppable unkillable juggernaut
** "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries" may not summon nurglite demons claiming to be their parents, the stench elderberries of which spreading a horrible disease from a fat corpulent zombie while the mother being a diseased werehamster whose bite spreads the condition like a plague
*** the spam joke may not spawn in more small Slaaneshi demons yelling "spam!" every time the word is uttered, making them multiply with every utterance.
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2021-06-09, 05:57 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
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- In my library
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
The Imperium imploding leads to a lot of independent systems, probably a handful of small human empires, and a lot of starving people on hive worlds and forge world's, but not the end of humanity.
Chaos winning is 'galaxy-wide Eye of Terror', and means that the galaxy is probably done for. The Necrons winning is confusing, bare in mind that at the moment the first thing they want is their souls back, and if they do biotransference in reverse that likely means that whatever race they take over probably loses their culture for all eternity, followed by everybody else once the Necron Lords hey bored and start conquering everybody with their legions of robotic soldiers (what, you thought that everybody was getting a new soul?).
True, but as a rough order of magnitude it works. So 10,000+ years for the Imperium to implode without one of the villains stepping up their game.
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2021-06-09, 05:57 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
I still think he's funnier as a Harlequin than as a daemon. Though I guess meme daemons make a bit more sense. To expand on my point above:
**Harlequins may sell neither dead parrots nor cheese. Shooting them is, however, a valid response.
***Harlequins may not throw sleeping gas grenades and sing "Gooooood night, ding ding ding ding ding!"
****The Shadowseer may not introduce himself with "Hello, I'd like to have an argument."Last edited by Eldan; 2021-06-09 at 05:59 AM.
Resident Vancian Apologist
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2021-06-09, 06:14 AM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2013
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- Where I am
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
*May not point out that elderberries were used to make wine in medieval times and that female hamsters are known to be very... Aggressive, when it's mating season and produce lots of offspring.
**Thus, not allowed to point out that the joke is that the Rud French Knights were saying "you're mother's a whore with too many children and your father is an alcoholic" without actually coming out and saying it.I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.
Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
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2021-06-09, 06:16 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2009
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- In my library
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
***** When attacking a Harlequin I should not be wielding a banana.
****** Or a punnet of raspberries.
******* I must use, at minimum, a pointed stick.
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2021-06-09, 06:23 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
You misunderstand. its not supposed to be funny. Its supposed to take jokes that I consider far, far too old hat and finally kill them with horror by warping them into daemons to take my revenge on people constantly restating the jokes by twisting them into a context where telling them becomes a terrifying situation that could get their characters killed. How seriously I take this is of course, is a new joke I create on top of these jokes corpses.
Last edited by Lord Raziere; 2021-06-09 at 06:27 AM.
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2021-06-09, 08:00 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
Aren’t the Necrons trying to cut off the Galaxy from the Warp? Or was that retconned away?
Cool elan Illithid Slayer by linkele.
Editor/co-writer of Magicae Est Potestas, a crossover between Artemis Fowl and Undertale. Ao3 FanFiction.net DeviantArt
We also have a TvTropes page!
Currently playing: Red Hand of Doom(campaign journal)Campaign still going on, but journal discontinued until further notice.
Extended sig here.
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2021-06-09, 11:32 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Feb 2016
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
"If you want to understand biology don't think about vibrant throbbing gels and oozes, think about information technology" -Richard Dawkins
Omegaupdate Forum
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2021-06-09, 11:43 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2016
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
Cool elan Illithid Slayer by linkele.
Editor/co-writer of Magicae Est Potestas, a crossover between Artemis Fowl and Undertale. Ao3 FanFiction.net DeviantArt
We also have a TvTropes page!
Currently playing: Red Hand of Doom(campaign journal)Campaign still going on, but journal discontinued until further notice.
Extended sig here.
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2021-06-09, 12:38 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
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2021-06-09, 01:26 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Aug 2011
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- Sharangar's Revenge
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
* I may not point out that we already have a thread for discussing 40k Fluff: Warhammer 40k Fluff Discussion XVII: Call Necrosius, The Old Thread Is Dead!.
* I may no longer use a first level wizard spell and the occasional healing spell from a cleric as the ticket to limitless wealth.Last edited by Lord Torath; 2021-06-09 at 01:30 PM. Reason: Typo
Warhammer 40,000 Campaign Skirmish Game: Warpstrike
My Spelljammer stuff (including an orbit tracker), 2E AD&D spreadsheet, and Vault of the Drow maps are available in my Dropbox. Feel free to use or not use it as you see fit!
Thri-Kreen Ranger/Psionicist by me, based off of Rich's A Monster for Every Season
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2021-06-09, 01:27 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2016
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
Cool elan Illithid Slayer by linkele.
Editor/co-writer of Magicae Est Potestas, a crossover between Artemis Fowl and Undertale. Ao3 FanFiction.net DeviantArt
We also have a TvTropes page!
Currently playing: Red Hand of Doom(campaign journal)Campaign still going on, but journal discontinued until further notice.
Extended sig here.
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2021-06-09, 01:38 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Aug 2011
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- Sharangar's Revenge
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
Metamorphose Liquids (2E AD&D - Tome of Magic). The wizard transmutes 1 cubic foot per level of any liquid into any other non-magical liquid by touching the target liquid and placing a drop of the desired liquid on their tongue.
Spoiler: Can you guess where I'm going with this?Gold, platinum, and even mithril/mithral (and adamantite presumably) all turn into a liquid if you heat them up enough. 1 cubic foot of solid platinum (after you pour it into molds and let it cool) weighs 8,000 lbs. At 50 coins/lb, that's 40,000 pp, or 200,000 gp, which will easily pay for a cleric to heal the burn you took to your finger. If you use a small enough drop, your tongue won't even get burnt!Warhammer 40,000 Campaign Skirmish Game: Warpstrike
My Spelljammer stuff (including an orbit tracker), 2E AD&D spreadsheet, and Vault of the Drow maps are available in my Dropbox. Feel free to use or not use it as you see fit!
Thri-Kreen Ranger/Psionicist by me, based off of Rich's A Monster for Every Season
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2021-06-09, 01:40 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2016
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- Seoul
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
I'm pretty sure there are less painful ways of generating infinite wealth, so...
Cool elan Illithid Slayer by linkele.
Editor/co-writer of Magicae Est Potestas, a crossover between Artemis Fowl and Undertale. Ao3 FanFiction.net DeviantArt
We also have a TvTropes page!
Currently playing: Red Hand of Doom(campaign journal)Campaign still going on, but journal discontinued until further notice.
Extended sig here.
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2021-06-09, 02:13 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2020
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- Right behind you
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
Furthering the WH40K theme:
*May not make a "Chaos Warband that say Nee"
**The seemingly immortal leader of said warband may not have a herring as his sole weakness
***Tasking the players with finding suitable shrubbery for Nurgle's Garden, however, is actually pretty entertaining.Last edited by Taevyr; 2021-06-09 at 02:13 PM.
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2021-06-09, 03:49 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jun 2015
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
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2021-06-09, 04:28 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Aug 2011
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- Sharangar's Revenge
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
Warhammer 40,000 Campaign Skirmish Game: Warpstrike
My Spelljammer stuff (including an orbit tracker), 2E AD&D spreadsheet, and Vault of the Drow maps are available in my Dropbox. Feel free to use or not use it as you see fit!
Thri-Kreen Ranger/Psionicist by me, based off of Rich's A Monster for Every Season
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2021-06-09, 04:48 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
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- In my library
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
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2021-06-09, 11:13 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jun 2014
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- A Michigan Far, Far Away
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
* I am not allowed to drop my Daern's Instant Fortress on top of the big villain whilst riding past right at the start of the climactic battle.
** No matter how much it annoys his nemesis the paladin, who had been psyching up to fight him all month.
*** And no matter how cool it looked driving him straight into the dirt like a Looney Toons character.
Speaking of that long-ago campaign;
* I am not allowed to keep a defeated enemy's skull in my backpack so that I can cast Speak With Dead when I'm bored just to ask him, "Hot enough for ya down there?" Not if I want to keep my alignment, I'm not.
** The ranger is no longer allowed to activate his Feather Token while below decks on a ship at sea. Rocs and boats are not a good combination.
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2021-06-09, 11:25 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2016
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
*Mystra's Weave is not a hairpiece
"If you want to understand biology don't think about vibrant throbbing gels and oozes, think about information technology" -Richard Dawkins
Omegaupdate Forum
WoTC Forums Archive + Indexing Projext
PostImage, a free and sensible alternative to Photobucket
Temple+ Modding Project for Atari's Temple of Elemental Evil
Morrus' RPG Forum (EN World v2)