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Thread: Tell A Joke!
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2020-10-03, 06:31 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2017
- Location
- France
- Gender
Re: Tell A Joke!
Either, this is the flag you're talking about
Spoiler
In which case I don't understand your joke.
Or you're talking about a republic that disappeard more than a millenium and a half before countries started to have flags. And I'm also unsure as to what the joke is supposed ot mean.Last edited by Fyraltari; 2020-10-03 at 06:32 PM.
Forum Wisdom
Mage avatar by smutmulch & linklele.
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2020-10-03, 06:41 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2013
- Location
- Where I am
Re: Tell A Joke!
It's a meme that's usually depicted as an edited, based on a scene from the office.
The character Pam pulls a prank on someone by saying Corporate needs them to determine the difference between two pictures(basically a find the difference puzzle) but later tells the documentary crew that they're the exact same picture.
In memage, t's common to show a picture of two pictures of radically different things and declare them the same picture for various reasons.
For example:
I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.
Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
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2020-10-04, 04:17 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2019
- Gender
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2020-10-04, 04:36 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2014
Re: Tell A Joke!
You know what they say, about explaining jokes being like dissecting a frog? You get the joke but the frog is dead.
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2020-10-04, 05:17 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
- Gender
Re: Tell A Joke!
I only have one joke, but I've perfected it to use it on anything:
How many subjectivists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I don't know, its all matter of perspective, lets all agree to disagree on this.
how many relativists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Depends.
How many collectivists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
All of them.
how many individualists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one, but they have to do it in their own unique way.
How many Among Us players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10. seven to accuse each other in paranoia, two imposters to kill 6-8 of them, and one to finish screwing in the lightbulb.
How many time lords does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, but only if its The Doctor
How many youtubers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One but only if you Like, Comment and Subscribe
How many twitch streamers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One but they have to constantly thank their generous fans while they do it.
How many fan fic writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One but only if they do not own the lightbulb
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2020-10-04, 05:58 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
Re: Tell A Joke!
Last edited by enderlord99; 2020-10-04 at 06:01 PM.
I use braces (also known as "curly brackets") to indicate sarcasm. If there are none present, I probably believe what I am saying; should it turn out to be inaccurate trivia, please tell me rather than trying to play along with an apparent joke I don't know I'm making.
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2020-10-04, 07:10 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2014
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2020-10-04, 07:42 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
Re: Tell A Joke!
I use braces (also known as "curly brackets") to indicate sarcasm. If there are none present, I probably believe what I am saying; should it turn out to be inaccurate trivia, please tell me rather than trying to play along with an apparent joke I don't know I'm making.
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2020-10-05, 01:35 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2019
- Gender
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2020-10-05, 05:04 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2015
- Location
- London, UK
- Gender
Re: Tell A Joke!
How many software engineers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, it's a hardware problem.
How many hardware engineers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, software should find a workaround.
How many mothers-in-law does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
No, it's fine, I'll just sit here in the dark.Last edited by SZbNAhL; 2020-10-05 at 05:05 PM. Reason: Grammar
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2020-10-05, 05:28 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2010
- Gender
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2020-10-05, 07:51 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2010
- Location
- California
- Gender
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2020-10-09, 11:28 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2015
- Location
- London, UK
- Gender
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2020-10-09, 11:57 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
- Location
- The Ziggurat of Ur
- Gender
Re: Tell A Joke!
How many narcissists does it to take to change a light bulb?
One. He holds the light bulb still while the world revolves around him.
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change.Thanks to Daryk for the Paladin avatar. Darius Sungold. 1648 OOC.
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2020-10-09, 04:22 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2019
- Gender
Re: Tell A Joke!
Four fonts walk into a bar
The barman shouts "Oi, get out! We don't serve your type here!"I am ArlEammon. I've been here since 2004, but I've lost access to my other account.
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2020-10-10, 08:49 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2015
- Location
- London, UK
- Gender
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2020-10-10, 09:52 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2015
- Gender
Re: Tell A Joke!
An American, a Frensh and a German walk into a Bar. The German then asks the American:
-Hey, who's that guy in the corner? I think he's trying to overhear our Conversation.
The Frensh guy turns arround and aswears:
-Oh, don't worry about it. He's just waiting for the punshline.
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2020-10-10, 02:32 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2007
- Location
- Some rainly old island
- Gender
Re: Tell A Joke!
You know how the French say 17, 18 and 19? Do you think they used to say 16 the same way.
Yes, but they had to dix-six!Hi, I'm back, I guess. ^_^I cosplay and stream LPs of single player games on Twitch! Mon, Wed & Fri; currently playing: Nier: Replicant (Mon/Wed) and The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons (Thurs or Fri)
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2020-10-11, 09:12 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
Re: Tell A Joke!
"Nice clothes!"
"Thanks! They were discounted by 50%"
"I'd like them even better if they were...
Wait.
I messed that up, didn't I?
I use braces (also known as "curly brackets") to indicate sarcasm. If there are none present, I probably believe what I am saying; should it turn out to be inaccurate trivia, please tell me rather than trying to play along with an apparent joke I don't know I'm making.
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2020-10-11, 10:56 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2015
- Location
- London, UK
- Gender
Re: Tell A Joke!
{Scrubbed}
Last edited by jdizzlean; 2020-10-16 at 04:11 PM. Reason: clean up
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2020-10-12, 01:55 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2019
- Location
- Israel
- Gender
Re: Tell A Joke!
It hangs on the wall and stinks. What is it?
A clock.
SpoilerWhy stinks? Cuckoo is deadLast edited by Edreyn; 2020-10-12 at 01:55 PM.
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2020-10-14, 04:48 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2019
- Location
- Israel
- Gender
Re: Tell A Joke!
After the battle a soldier walks around the battlefield looking for survivors. He sees someone horribly wounded: covered in blood, twisted and deformed, with body parts torn, so he can't even see anything of his face. But the wounded is alive, he addresses the soldier and says:
"Hey, finish me off, bro".
The soldier sees that he can't help anyway, the most merciful thing he can do is to really finish him off.
He points the rifle and says "Whoever you are, rest in piece!". And shoots. BOOM!
And then he hears: "Thank you, bro!"
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2020-10-14, 10:47 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2018
- Location
- six feet under
- Gender
Re: Tell A Joke!
So I have a list of dad jokes (expanded thanks to this thread!)
- What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An ear-relevant!
- Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged...
- Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the no-bell prize!
- I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me!
- I decided to sell my vaccume cleaner because it was just gathering dust!
- What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoilt milk!
- Can Febuary March? No, but April May!
- Want to hear a joke about paper? No? That's fine it was tearable!
- I could tell a joke about pizza but it's a little cheesy...
- What do you call someone with no body and no nose? No-body nose!
- This graveyard looks over-crowded, don't you think? People must be dying to get in!
- I heard Peelee bought some shoes off a drug dealer, I don't know what they laced them with but he was tripping all day! (Apologies Peelee, this is meant in good fun)
- I thought about going on an all almond diet but that's just nuts!
- Did you know french fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece!
- Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well!
- Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well I'm not going to spread it!
- You know a furniture stall keeps calling me? I only wanted a one nightstand!
- I broke my left thumb week, but on the other hand I'm okay.
- I heard a cheese factory exploded! De brie is everywhere.
- Did you hear about the guy who invented livesavers? They say he made a mint!
- What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A Satisfactory!
- I thought about starting a new dating service in Prague. I was going to call it Czech mate!Non caerulea sum, Caerulea nomen meum est.
Extended Signature.
I'm not not a humanoid. Come not not be one too.
Answer trivial questions in the OOTS trivia thread!
she/her
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2020-10-14, 06:21 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2007
- Location
- Some rainly old island
- Gender
Hi, I'm back, I guess. ^_^I cosplay and stream LPs of single player games on Twitch! Mon, Wed & Fri; currently playing: Nier: Replicant (Mon/Wed) and The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons (Thurs or Fri)
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2020-10-14, 06:52 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
- Location
- Birmingham, AL
- Gender
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2020-10-14, 06:59 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2010
- Gender
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2020-10-14, 07:01 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
- Location
- Birmingham, AL
- Gender
Re: Tell A Joke!
Last edited by Peelee; 2020-10-14 at 07:01 PM.
Cuthalion's art is the prettiest art of all the art. Like my avatar.
Number of times Roland St. Jude has sworn revenge upon me: 2
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2020-10-14, 08:08 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2014
Re: Tell A Joke!
Guys.
The shooter missed.
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2020-10-14, 08:10 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
- Location
- Birmingham, AL
- Gender
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2020-10-14, 08:25 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2014