New OOTS products from CafePress
New OOTS t-shirts, ornaments, mugs, bags, and more
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 30 of 41
  1. - Top - End - #1
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Shnezz's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    IL

    Default Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    Have you ever been playing and, say, made a skill check that came out *unfortunately* exactly as it should?

    Here's my example:
    So, I'm currently on fire. From a kobold I killed three rounds ago. I have rolled 5 saves (2 from allies abilities) and gotten a 3,1,2,2,1 in order. (I later found out I only needed a 5).

    In an effort mostly out of frustration and I wanted to do something even if it was stupid, I make a diplomacy check on the fire. Yes, I tried to talk non-sentient fire into not burning me. I rolled a natural 1.

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Banned
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Flawse Fell, Geordieland

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shnezz View Post
    Have you ever been playing and, say, made a skill check that came out *unfortunately* exactly as it should?

    Here's my example:
    So, I'm currently on fire. From a kobold I killed three rounds ago. I have rolled 5 saves (2 from allies abilities) and gotten a 3,1,2,2,1 in order. (I later found out I only needed a 5).

    In an effort mostly out of frustration and I wanted to do something even if it was stupid, I make a diplomacy check on the fire. Yes, I tried to talk non-sentient fire into not burning me. I rolled a natural 1.
    The Dice Gods have turned their face from you. Only the cruel, hilarious sacrifice of your PC will regain their favour.

    (The old ways are the best )

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Shnezz's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    IL

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    I would say that they had, except I killed a Kobold of strange reseliance to being stabbed fairly quickly. This may have had something do do with my 3d6+4+2d8(sneak attack) hitting for 30. (6+5+3, 4, and 5+7)
    Edit: He was leading the attack on us. And I was level 1, using my daily. I was happy.
    Otherwise I'd be checking to see if the DM handed me loaded dice.

    On another note, I found a jar of fire-producing substance. (I don't know what it was, it was a sling orb that set things on fire. I was hit with one as explained above) and a jar of whatever the glue is that is stupidly strong. I took out ink to label the two, and he makes me roll a check. 18 on the fire orb, but a natural one on the glue made it explode on my hand.

    Edit2: This was a 4E game, obviously.
    Last edited by Shnezz; 2009-11-13 at 10:45 AM.
    "Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for you are both flammable and an easy target."
    "... Sneak attack?"

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Cicciograna's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shnezz View Post
    Edit2: This was a 4E game, obviously.
    So the 3.5 Edition Gods decided to punish you, treacherous infidel!

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Ettin in the Playground
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cicciograna View Post
    So the 3.5 Edition Gods decided to punish you, treacherous infidel!
    Only the evil ones for the fact you were playing a edition that kept them out of the PHB.
    Credit for my various avatars goes to Dashwood,Cealocanth,Kwarkpudding,Randomizer,kpengu in,Alarra,Bisected8,zimmerwald1915, and Thanqol.

    Once known as "Gamerkid".

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    CasESenSITItiVE's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    you should have made a check to convince it to stop burning you
    Turn undead!
    Bolster undead!
    Stab undead!

    Credit to Nathan for the Stephen Colbert avatar!

  7. - Top - End - #7

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by CasESenSITItiVE View Post
    you should have made a check to convince it to stop burning you
    Um, he did?

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Glass Mouse's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    The Icy North
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by sofawall View Post
    Um, he did?
    Misunderstood joke is misunderstood
    Last edited by Glass Mouse; 2009-11-13 at 01:54 PM.
    Spoiler
    Show


    Challenge badge
    , courtesy of HeadlessMermaid.

    Avatar courtesy of the talented Neoriceisgood. Features Pumpkin from my webcomic.


  9. - Top - End - #9
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    daggaz's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2006

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shnezz View Post
    Have you ever been playing and, say, made a skill check that came out *unfortunately* exactly as it should?

    Here's my example:
    So, I'm currently on fire. From a kobold I killed three rounds ago. I have rolled 5 saves (2 from allies abilities) and gotten a 3,1,2,2,1 in order. (I later found out I only needed a 5).

    In an effort mostly out of frustration and I wanted to do something even if it was stupid, I make a diplomacy check on the fire. Yes, I tried to talk non-sentient fire into not burning me. I rolled a natural 1.
    You succeed beyond your wildest dreams, and the fire is now fascinated with you. So much, in fact, that he brings all of his fiery friends to hear the new "truth". You are now on fire. And fire. And fire, and fire, and fire. And the fire is on fire. Also, the original fire is now your cohort, and so does ..whats your hd again? 7d4 damage per turn rather than the 1d4 he starts with as a base creature.
    Avatar thanks to neoseph7

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Dust's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Canada, Eh!
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    In a superpowered game, I was playing an extremely evil character masquerading as one of the party's own. We had holed up in a crummy house while the BBEG had our base under surveillance, and while the party was talking strategy, I stomped off to the other room and an actual NPC hero teleported in to try and thwart me. We ended up breaking into this huge brawl which the other party started to come investigate, and even though this guy is WAY better than me, I'm rolling nat 20s constantly.

    We end up tumbling into the bathroom and I manage to slam the door so the party doesn't see me pummeling Captain Superpants, and I finally overcome him and disintegrate his remains, and then flush him.

    The party had no idea what was going on, only that I rolled a half-dozen natural 20s and then came out of the bathroom looking pleased with myself.

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Dust's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Canada, Eh!
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by daggaz View Post
    You succeed beyond your wildest dreams, and the fire is now fascinated with you. So much, in fact, that he brings all of his fiery friends to hear the new "truth". You are now on fire. And fire. And fire, and fire, and fire. And the fire is on fire. Also, the original fire is now your cohort, and so does ..whats your hd again? 7d4 damage per turn rather than the 1d4 he starts with as a base creature.
    Also, this. Amazing.

  12. - Top - End - #12

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by Glass Mouse View Post
    Misunderstood joke is misunderstood
    Completely and totally. Mind explaining it?

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    BlackDragon

    Join Date
    Feb 2009

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dust View Post
    Also, this. Amazing.
    I second that. I wish I had a fire cohort, that was on fire.
    From You know you're epic when . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by BRC View Post
    The Barbarian Dual-wields other epic Barbarians.

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Banned
     
    Optimystik's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Tampa, FL
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by Glass Mouse View Post
    Misunderstood joke is misunderstood
    Poorly written joke and meme are poorly written.

    The joke should have been: "you should have made a check to convince the fire to keep burning you." The punchline being that with his luck the check would fail, putting out the fire.

  15. - Top - End - #15
    Orc in the Playground
     
    DwarfBarbarianGuy

    Join Date
    Jun 2009

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dust View Post
    The party had no idea what was going on, only that I rolled a half-dozen natural 20s and then came out of the bathroom looking pleased with myself.
    Oh god, brain bleach please!
    A viking who isn't intimidated!!

    Dreaming of a wight apocalypse

    "next time you decide to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face!"

  16. - Top - End - #16
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    dsmiles's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    In the T.A.R.D.I.S.
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shnezz View Post
    In an effort mostly out of frustration and I wanted to do something even if it was stupid, I make a diplomacy check on the fire. Yes, I tried to talk non-sentient fire into not burning me. I rolled a natural 1.
    FYI: A 1 on a skill check is not a critical fail, however, the humor of the situation is not lost on me.

    DM'ing for a party of about 8 characters, the halfling monk (who later QP'd an aboleth savant) failed a saving throw vs a paralyzation effect by a homebrew embalming zombie (nat 1). He was subsequently tied to a 50 foot length of rope and used as bait to get the next group of zombies to walk right into an ambush by the party (they had orders to attack anything that moves in a certain hallway, the halfling was rolled down the hallway and slowly drawn back to the party by the rope). Unfortunately for me, the DM, the embalming zombies were wiped out in the surprise round. The halfling eventually overcame the paralyzation and couldn't untie himself (couldn't beat the Use Rope DC). The party left him tied up until they were out of the mortuary section of the ruins they were in, and kept on using him as bait.
    I guess you had to be there.
    Quote Originally Posted by The Doctor
    People assume that time is a strict progression of cause-to-effect, but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff.
    Awesomesauce Doctor WhOotS-atar by Ceika!

  17. - Top - End - #17
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Mordokai's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2007

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kzickas View Post
    Oh god, brain bleach please!
    What? It's totally natural! Every adventurer does it once in a while... or at least, he/she should.

    I'm a horrible person
    Adrie, half elven bard. Drawing by Vulion, avatar by CheesePirate. Colored version by Callos_DeTerran. Thanks a lot, you guys.
    This place is not a place of honor…no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here… nothing valued is here.
    "There will come a day so dark you will pray for death. On that day your prayers will be answered."
    Book of shadows, book of night, wake the beast and banish light.

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Volos's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by bosssmiley View Post
    The Dice Gods have turned their face from you. Only the cruel, hilarious sacrifice of your PC will regain their favour.

    (The old ways are the best )
    One cannot deny the old ways, they are the laws by which we live and abide. If not for the old ways, all would be naught.

    Also... fire is fire. You cannot win. Ever.

  19. - Top - End - #19
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    drengnikrafe's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Within my own Insanity
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    I once rolled a natural 1 when I tried to seduce a priestess. Seems reasonable enough.

  20. - Top - End - #20
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Mystic Muse's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2009

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by LordWolfgang View Post

    Also... fire is fire. You cannot win. Ever.
    decanter of endless water.

  21. - Top - End - #21
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Zombie

    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    The great state of denial

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by drengnikrafe View Post
    I once rolled a natural 1 when I tried to seduce a priestess. Seems reasonable enough.
    I on the other hand rolled a succesive string of 20s on a group that were devoted to that sort of thing anyway.
    Me: I'd get the paladin to help, but we might end up with a kid that believes in fairy tales.
    DM: aye, and it's not like she's been saved by a mysterious little girl and a band of real live puppets from a bad man and worse step-sister to go live with the faries in the happy land.
    Me: Yeah, a knight in shining armour might just bring her over the edge.

  22. - Top - End - #22
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

    Join Date
    Aug 2008

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by LordWolfgang View Post
    Also... fire is fire. You cannot win. Ever.
    Ninjas can't catch you if you are on fire. Counts as a win in my book.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alabenson
    Evil Intelligence is knowing the precise ritual that will allow you to destroy the peaceful kingdom that banished you.

    Evil Wisdom is understanding that you probably shouldn’t perform said ritual while you’re standing in the estimated blast radius.

  23. - Top - End - #23
    Banned
     
    Lycanthromancer's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by BobVosh View Post
    Ninjas can't catch you if you are on fire. Counts as a win in my book.
    Only if you are a ninja. Otherwise, you kind of tend to just...burn.

  24. - Top - End - #24
    Troll in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    after several rounds against one wounded goblin where everyone in the party was missing it and was missing everyone else (and we dropped our weapons several times), the DM says "ok, thats it... he commits suicide in frustration"... one of us tells him to roll to see if he hits himself with his own sword... he rolls a nat 1 and fails his reflex save... dropping his weapon and failing to commit suicide...

    After another 2 players attacking and missing the unarmed goblin (one of which drops his weapon) the DM just declared him dead by fiat. That was hillarious; and frustrating.
    Last edited by taltamir; 2009-11-14 at 01:24 AM.
    I do not have a superman complex; for I am God, not Superman!

    the glass is always 100% full. Approximately 50% of its volume is full of dihydrogen monoxide and some dissolved solutes, and approx 50% a mixture of gasses known as "air" which contains roughly (by volume) 78.08% nitrogen, 20.95% oxygen, 0.93% argon, 0.038% carbon dioxide, and trace amounts of other gases.

  25. - Top - End - #25
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Shademan's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    raiding wales!
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    In a ADD campaign my character was about to be sacreficed by tentacle monsters (i'm sure they were called something else in the MM but hey) to their vile god. the rest of the party came to my rescue! and the ranger/and/or fighter (multiclassing and whatnot) charged in and chopped off his foot.
    just like that.
    Need a setting for your game? a character concept? any gaming related ideas? I make far to many to eat up myself, and therefor I am willing to share them. Free ideas! Get yer fluff here! PM me.


    The friendly neighborhood gentleman perv is always ready to help!

    on M&B:
    Quote Originally Posted by Celesyne
    oh, and looting villages is REALLY good money, if a nearby lord doesn't stop by and give you a daily dose of rape.
    http://baetzler.de/humor/meat_beings.html

  26. - Top - End - #26
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    I was in a game where a PC foolishly put on a Necklace of unknown magic powers... turned out to be Strangulation, of course.

    The party Barbarian decided he would help out by cutting the necklace off with his axe. The DM was dubious that you could defeat a cursed item that way, but he let the Barb roll anyway.

    The Barbarian rolled a natural 1.

    On the plus side, the PC didn't die from strangulation!

  27. - Top - End - #27
    Titan in the Playground
     
    chiasaur11's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2008

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by LordWolfgang View Post
    One cannot deny the old ways, they are the laws by which we live and abide. If not for the old ways, all would be naught.

    Also... fire is fire. You cannot win. Ever.
    You tend to win if you and the fire are on the same side.
    Remember how I was wishing for the peace of oblivion a minute ago?

    Yeah. That hasn't exactly changed with more knowledge of the situation. -Security Chief Victor Jones, formerly of the UESC Marathon.

    X-Com avatar by BRC. He's good folks.

  28. - Top - End - #28
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Worcestershire, UK

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    One of the players in my game kept making ridiculous statements as a naive attempt to bluff opponents - like "We're not in!" when the guards are banging on the door...

    He generally rolled very poorly.

    When he did roll a 19 bluff check after claiming to have gone away, the guard's check was higher. As it should be.

  29. - Top - End - #29
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Daemon

    Join Date
    Dec 2008

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kyuubi View Post
    decanter of endless water.
    That just means not enough fire was applied.

    Related question:
    Decanter of endless water VS, Elemental plane of fire?

  30. - Top - End - #30
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    DwarfBarbarianGuy

    Join Date
    Jan 2008

    Default Re: Knock Knock, It's Reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dixieboy View Post
    That just means not enough fire was applied.

    Related question:
    Decanter of endless water VS, Elemental plane of fire?
    Elemental Plane of Steam.
    I am not crazy! I prefer "reality impaired".

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •