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  1. - Top - End - #1
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    Lix Lorn's Avatar

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    Default LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    Hello to all, and I'm honoured to see you enter the thirtieth incarnation of the queerest, rainbow-coloured, extra-friendly corner of the Playground, the LGBTAitp thread!

    This is a thread where we Playgrounders, and LGBTAitp in particular, gather to discuss, share our experiences, give general advice and support one another in such matters as arise relating to, well, the world beyond heteronormativity.

    Please note that although the title of the thread names only the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Asexual communities, it is intended as an all inclusive environment.

    • Everyone is welcome. Let's try to keep from seeming otherwise.
    • Keep this topic free of politics and religion. (so, don't violate the board rules, plz)
    • It's beyond the scope of this thread to discuss whether LGBT is "Right." (And really, most discussions probably should avoid moralizing too much anyway)
    • Please refrain from posting sexually explicit content. (Keep it friendly as well as board safe )



    Keep in mind that content which contain strong language may be filtered (Plus, y'know, the forum-filters), and content that violates the forum rules won't be posted at all.

    Here are the links for the previous threads, where much of use or interest may be found:


    And, for reference, here is the Thousand&Wordster Dictionary of Commonly Used LGBTAitp Words and Phrases
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    Lagerbeta: A fine brewski to be drunk by queers and allies.
    LGBT: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans*
    Trans*: Transsexual and Transgender
    LGBTA: LGBT+Asexual/Allies
    QUILTBAG:
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    Q - Queer and Questioning
    U - Unidentified
    I - Intersex
    L - Lesbian
    T - Transgender, Transexual
    B - Bisexual
    A - Asexual
    G - Gay, Genderqueer

    Allies: Straight people that support equality for sexuality and gender minorities.
    MtF: Male-to-Female: A woman born with male nibblies, who may or may not be seeking HRT and/or SRS. (AKA: trans woman)
    FtM: Female-to-Male: A man born with female nibblies, who may or may not be seeking HRT and/or SRS. (AKA: trans man)
    GQ: Genderqueer.
    CS: Cis-sexual: sex and gender match (a male with male nibblies, a female with female nibblies.
    TS: Transsexual: Sex and gender disparity.
    HRT: Hormone replacement therapy. MtF's take more progestrogens and oestrogens and FtM's take more testosterone (I think?)
    SRS: Sex Reassignment Surgery: Surgery to replace/transform a vagina into a penis, or vice versa depending on direction. Mastectomies or plastic surgery may be used on breasts.
    FFS: Facial Feminization Surgery: Plastic surgery to reduce chin/nose/cheekbones. not very common.

    Man: A cisman or transman. Male.
    Woman: A ciswoman or transwoman. Female.
    Androgyne: Gender Identity with male and female aspects.
    Genderfluid: Someone who fluctuates between male and female.
    Agendered: Someone who feels neither male nor female.
    Third-gendered: Someone who fits in a local society's third gender, usually male performing female tasks, occasionally vice versa.
    Masculine: Something generally associated with men.
    Feminine: Something generally associated with women.

    Lesbian: A woman who is attracted to women.
    Gay: A man who is attracted to men.
    Homosexual: A person who is attracted to members of their gender.
    Heterosexual: A person who is attracted to members of the opposite gender.
    Bisexual: A person who is attracted to two genders (usually men and women, sometimes transgender instead of one of those).
    Pansexual: A person who is attracted to people regardless of gender.
    Asexual: A person who does not feel any/some sexual attraction.
    Demisexual: A person who is sexually attracted to someone(s) they have formed an intense emotional relationship with.
    Polyamorous: A person who is interested in a relationship with more than one person.
    Radosexual: A person who is only attracted to rad people.
    Pomosexual: A person who avoids SO labels.

    Sexual Orientation: How one identifies who they are attracted to. (SO)
    Gender Identity: How one feels inside society's idea of "man, woman, or other". (GI)
    Gender Expression: How one expresses their GI to society. (GE)
    Significant Other(s): Person you are in a relationship with. (SO)
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    Titan in the Playground
     
    Asta Kask's Avatar

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    Can I get cuddles?
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    Oooh, and that's a bad miss.

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    Titan in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    :O (cuddles) xD
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thanqol View Post
    It's like the feng shui version of an orbital death laser.

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    I too am interested in this offer of cuddles...

    On topic, I'm still looking for articles related to child development differences (or similarities) between hetero and same-sex couples.


    ~Phoenix~
    "It is important to draw wisdom from many different places. If you take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale." --Iroh
    LGBTAitP! If you want to talk, learn, or have some fun, stop by!
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    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    Quote Originally Posted by Absol197 View Post
    I too am interested in this offer of cuddles...

    On topic, I'm still looking for articles related to child development differences (or similarities) between hetero and same-sex couples.


    ~Phoenix~
    If I remember correctly there were a few done in the UK so you might want to check relevant British journals if you have access to those.
    "Elephant trunks should be used for elephant things only. Nothing else."

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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    *cuddles*

    *joins request for cuddles*

    I posted this in thread 29, but I don't want it eaten by the thread switch, even though I was late to the party in response to Lena last time.

    [Repost]

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    Quote Originally Posted by Astrella View Post
    -----

    Dysphoric rambles (which is why I haven't replied to anything. Ugh, I sound really whiny so you really don't have to read it...):
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    So, got struck by a bout of dysphoria that was worse than anything I've had in weeks. And to make it even worse it just wouldn't go away no matter what I did and it lasted on the whole day and I had to fight off collapsing in a pile of sobbing pityfullness all day...

    Everyone here is making progress and achieving things while I'm still super nervous and scared about everything and don't even dare to go buy clothes or anything or think about informing my uni and I basically don't really have anyone for support in real life cause I shut myself up so much and I'm all anxious around people and I just feel so cowardly and stupid and not deserving of transitioning and I'll never look decent anyway and it's all just a whole puddle of darkness that I"m sinking away with and tendrils dragging me down and more blehness...
    Lena, you've achieved a lot, like other people have said, going to the endo, getting those prescriptions (even if it's been tough and they're not there yet. ) I've seen the pictures you posted and I think you'll look great. And don't think I'm just saying that to make you feel better, I'm one of the most brutally critical people you'll ever meet, and I don't pay idle compliments. It won't be perfect because nothing is, but it will be better than it is now. If you think not telling your uni makes you a coward, than you're in the company of many many cowards. I often feel like I shut myself away too, and even having a few people support me doesn't help because i don't think I could step out from behind the familiar, if often miserably uncomfortable, mask of maleness that I spend most of my day hiding behind, so that often in a crows I feel alone. But maybe, and this is just a suggestion and a thought, and you shouldn't take it as anything more, trying to find a support group or something near you would be good. Even if it's fractious and full of competing narratives about transness, you might find someone to talk to there, who could become a source of RL support, since you don't have much right now.

    About deserving transition: Who can decide that you don't deserve transition? A doctor with a paper degree and a cardboard brain can deny it, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve it. Social standards? What do they matter when your identity is for you first of all and everyone else in the world second? The only one who can decide whether you deserve something is you, and in this case, why should you not do what will make you happy? Everyone who matters, ultimately, loses in that scenario. But still, that doesn't mean that waiting until you're more secure makes you less worthy, it's just practical. There's no inherent virtue in making things hard for yourself. Sometimes I think there;s a mistake made talking about "transition" as if it were an objective thing, like metamorphosis or some automatic process where transness attracts you to your correct gender presentation irresistibly and along a pre-determined path at a pre-determined pace, like magnetism. It's full of fits and starts, of steps forward to try new things, steps backward to re-confirm old knowledge, and steps sideways just because. Your transition is yours, and you deserve it because it is a fundamental part of you. It may not be perfect or ideal, but I think it will get where it needs to be in the end. Good luck!

    *hugs*

    Feel better, sweetie



    ~Laura
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  7. - Top - End - #7
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Asta Kask's Avatar

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

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    Well said, Laura. I'm not sure transition is something you can deserve. That the word applies to it.
    Last edited by Asta Kask; 2013-01-13 at 01:36 PM.
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    Oooh, and that's a bad miss.

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    Wow, Laura. Those are some very impassioned words. They give me the warm fuzzies, and they weren't even for me.

    Very well put.

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    Troll in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
    Can I get cuddles?
    *CUDDLES* Happy?
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  10. - Top - End - #10
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Asta Kask's Avatar

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    Flying turtle-cuddles are second only to mysterious-snail-like-being cuddles.
    Avatar by CoffeeIncluded

    Oooh, and that's a bad miss.

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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    *Burns Lixie's desk* NOW THE CUTE PEOPLE CANNOT HIDE FROM HUGS AND LOVE! >:D

    So. Bit of a problem...

    I use the internet to express my feminine side etc, and Lea Plath tends to be my generic user name, but I've got some people on steam and cockatrice who I know in real life and they have questioned about the user name/pictures. I've kinda deflected them for now, but got me worried a little is all. They are my friends but I dunno... I would rather it didn't get out if possible yet.
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    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    Simple enough:

    "I play <insert MMO here> and my guild/corp/griefing group I hang around with know me as Lea Plath. I changed my Steam name so they know who I am and one of them did a cartoon based on my character. I thought it was rather awesome and decided to stick with it."

    And if anyone asks, just join the GiTP Steam group where everyone would know you as Lea Plath.

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    I wanna cuddle! :pout:


    Hey Lea! Haven't seen you in the thread for a while (possibly because I haven't been keeping up for a while, but still ). *Waves~*

    Quote Originally Posted by Heliomance View Post


    So I just logged in to my uni account, and saw across the top, "Welcome, <surname> Miss T"

    I haven't stopped grinning for the past five minutes.
    n.n
    Quote Originally Posted by Astrella View Post
    Dysphoric rambles (which is why I haven't replied to anything. Ugh, I sound really whiny so you really don't have to read it...):
    Spoiler
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    So, got struck by a bout of dysphoria that was worse than anything I've had in weeks. And to make it even worse it just wouldn't go away no matter what I did and it lasted on the whole day and I had to fight off collapsing in a pile of sobbing pityfullness all day...

    Everyone here is making progress and achieving things while I'm still super nervous and scared about everything and don't even dare to go buy clothes or anything or think about informing my uni and I basically don't really have anyone for support in real life cause I shut myself up so much and I'm all anxious around people and I just feel so cowardly and stupid and not deserving of transitioning and I'll never look decent anyway and it's all just a whole puddle of darkness that I"m sinking away with and tendrils dragging me down and more blehness...
    *So many hugs* You are absolutely strong, beautiful, smart, and wonderful. I'm actually inspired by you (for one thing, I can't tell my parents about my gender even after I've moved out >.>)~ *More hugs*


    ~Bianca
    Thanks for existing.

    Dragon Hunter avatar by Lerky. Magical Girl by the lovely Astrella~

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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Lea Plath's Avatar

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    Quote Originally Posted by Arachu View Post
    I wanna cuddle! :pout:


    Hey Lea! Haven't seen you in the thread for a while (possibly because I haven't been keeping up for a while, but still ). *Waves~*~Bianca
    *Cuddles* But you have me everywhere else :P
    Steampunk Urchin Lea by Akrim.elf
    Quote Originally Posted by The Succubus View Post
    Spider girl, spider girl,
    Leaves your head in a whirl
    She can swing from a web
    And then she will bite your leg
    Watch out, it's Lea The Spider Girl

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    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    Quote Originally Posted by Lea Plath View Post
    *Cuddles* But you have me everywhere else :P
    Yeah, but still thread. *Huggles*

    Succubus' idea sounds good~


    ~Bianca
    Thanks for existing.

    Dragon Hunter avatar by Lerky. Magical Girl by the lovely Astrella~

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    Titan in the Playground
     
    Lix Lorn's Avatar

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    Quote Originally Posted by Absol197 View Post
    I too am interested in this offer of cuddles...
    Quote Originally Posted by Selpharia View Post
    *cuddles*

    *joins request for cuddles*
    (cuddles you both and Bianca too)

    @Lea: I made the desk out of water vapour and sunshine, it's not hard to replace. xD
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thanqol View Post
    It's like the feng shui version of an orbital death laser.

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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Lea Plath's Avatar

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    Quote Originally Posted by Lix Lorn View Post
    (cuddles you both and Bianca too)

    @Lea: I made the desk out of water vapour and sunshine, it's not hard to replace. xD
    I have more fire than you have that stuff >:D
    Steampunk Urchin Lea by Akrim.elf
    Quote Originally Posted by The Succubus View Post
    Spider girl, spider girl,
    Leaves your head in a whirl
    She can swing from a web
    And then she will bite your leg
    Watch out, it's Lea The Spider Girl

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    golentan's Avatar

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    Thanks for the commentary at the end of the last thread. I appreciate it. Also, I would like to extend free cuddles, and also enquire about the promised ones.
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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Lea Plath's Avatar

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    Quote Originally Posted by golentan View Post
    Thanks for the commentary at the end of the last thread. I appreciate it. Also, I would like to extend free cuddles, and also enquire about the promised ones.
    Can I get a 6 armed hug? :3
    Steampunk Urchin Lea by Akrim.elf
    Quote Originally Posted by The Succubus View Post
    Spider girl, spider girl,
    Leaves your head in a whirl
    She can swing from a web
    And then she will bite your leg
    Watch out, it's Lea The Spider Girl

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    Titan in the Playground
     
    golentan's Avatar

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    Quote Originally Posted by Lea Plath View Post
    Can I get a 6 armed hug? :3
    Of course! Come here you lovable lady with the right number of limbs! *hug*
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    My motto: Repensum Est Canicula.

    Quote Originally Posted by turkishproverb View Post
    I am not getting into a shootout with Golentan. Too many gun-arms.
    Leiningen will win, even if he must lose in the attempt.

    Credit to Astrella for the new party avatar.

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    Colossus in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    I'd just like to echo the kudos to Laura.
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    Quote Originally Posted by golentan View Post
    Of course! Come here you lovable lady with the right number of limbs! *hug*
    Needs more L! *hugs back!*

    I love the idea of 6 armed hugs. The arms fit perfectly together :P
    Steampunk Urchin Lea by Akrim.elf
    Quote Originally Posted by The Succubus View Post
    Spider girl, spider girl,
    Leaves your head in a whirl
    She can swing from a web
    And then she will bite your leg
    Watch out, it's Lea The Spider Girl

  23. - Top - End - #23
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    Lix Lorn's Avatar

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    Quote Originally Posted by Lea Plath View Post
    I have more fire than you have that stuff >:D
    Meanieface.

    Quote Originally Posted by golentan View Post
    Thanks for the commentary at the end of the last thread. I appreciate it. Also, I would like to extend free cuddles, and also enquire about the promised ones.
    (HUGLOMP)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thanqol View Post
    It's like the feng shui version of an orbital death laser.

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    So. TIL that trying to work while suffering from a major attack of dysphoria is unfun.
    Basically, I've been managing okay feminizing myself as much as I can while staying just within the bounds I've been set. Today, though, there was a big group in, and I was taking drinks orders, and one guy said to his friend something along the lines of "this gentleman wants to know what you want to drink" and it all came crashing down. I forced myself through another hour, hour and a half, but eventually I went to my supervisor, told her I wasn't coping, and begged to be allowed to finish the shift as a girl. She, however, was unwilling to put her arse on the line by letting me when the manager had said no, but as it was quiet she let me go early. She also said she'd tell the manager to phone me tomorrow, so one way or another this is going down.

    As I'm now pretty certain I'm trans, I'm legally in the right, but I'm slightly terrified about what's gonna happen.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalirren View Post
    The only person in the past two pages who has known what (s)he has been talking about is Heliomance.
    Quote Originally Posted by golentan View Post
    I just don't want to have long romantic conversations or any sort of drama with my computer, okay? It knows what kind of porn I watch. I don't want to mess that up by allowing it to judge any of my choices in romance.

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    So I'm considering starting to try meeting dudes who are into dudes more actively and a quick look around reveals that I have three options:

    Gaybar - Tried this, not my thing. When drinking I prefer just hanging around a friends apartment with some friends and I usually only go to bars because my friends want to go to bars. Also they are straight so we go to those bars (and usually just our regular club or pub). On top of that the gaybars usually close after existing for a year or two and another opens and I have no idea where the current on is.

    Grindr and other apps like that - Iceland = small community = very small percentage of people that use these apps. Just looked at grindr for example and the entire capital region seems to have around 20-30 guys on there.

    The universities LGBT society - Seems like the best option. They have meetings, pub quizzes, movie nights and more stuff like that. They don't seem to have a schedule posted anywhere though. Also suddenly appearing alone in a community where everyone kinda knows each other is kinda scary for an introvert.

    So any ideas? Tips from other shy people?
    "Elephant trunks should be used for elephant things only. Nothing else."

    Thank you Geomancer for the Death avatar.

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    Alien vs Predator: marine chapter - Completed
    Singularity - Canceled

  26. - Top - End - #26
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Lix Lorn's Avatar

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    @Helio
    (hugs /tightly/)
    I'm pretty sure that if this ends badly for you, they are in so much trouble.
    You're in the right even if you're not trans. Your gender expression is your own business.
    Last edited by Lix Lorn; 2013-01-13 at 03:41 PM.
    Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thanqol View Post
    It's like the feng shui version of an orbital death laser.

  27. - Top - End - #27
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
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    Hiding and fleeing.

    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    *wanders through thread cuddling all who allow it*

    Congratulations to Helio on having an awesome university.
    Extra hugs for Golentan 'cause all people should be able to get hugs.

    @Lena:
    Spoiler
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    You are one of the kindest women I've had the pleasure to talk to, and I do not exaggerate about such things. You are wonderful, and have made plenty of progress in ways that other people haven't, even if you're behind them in other places. If you don't feel brave enough to go and visibly buy girl-clothes, that's okay. I haven't managed to do that yet, either, and I don't think less of myself for it. And if I don't think less of myself for something, I'll certainly not let you do so. You worry about not passing when I (and no doubt others, too) would give loads to look as feminine (and as pretty) as you do - that's not to say that you're at fault for having doubts when others aren't so lucky, we just want you to see yourself as we see you. We're all here for you, even if there's few who are there in close physical proximity.
    That probably wasn't a good supportive message, but I hope it helps even a little.


    EDIT: @Helio: *offers more hugs* That's terrible, I hope everything goes in your favour.
    Last edited by ScionoftheVoid; 2013-01-13 at 03:53 PM.

  28. - Top - End - #28
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    Heliomance's Avatar

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    Incidentally, by "major attack" I mean I was actually seriously wondering if I was going to throw up, and when I went up to get changed I spent about five minutes having a minor panic attack in the bathroom.

    It hasn't been that bad for a while :/
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalirren View Post
    The only person in the past two pages who has known what (s)he has been talking about is Heliomance.
    Quote Originally Posted by golentan View Post
    I just don't want to have long romantic conversations or any sort of drama with my computer, okay? It knows what kind of porn I watch. I don't want to mess that up by allowing it to judge any of my choices in romance.

    Avatar by Rain Dragon

    Wish building characters for D&D 3.5 was simpler? Try HeroForge Anew! An Excel-based, highly automated character builder. v7.4 now out!

  29. - Top - End - #29
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    Asta Kask's Avatar

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    Gothenburg, Sweden
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    *hugs for Helio*

    pffh, I've got nothing but I wish you luck.

    Lix, you're adorable. *cheekkiss*
    Avatar by CoffeeIncluded

    Oooh, and that's a bad miss.

    “Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
    ― Tim Fargo

  30. - Top - End - #30
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Lix Lorn's Avatar

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)

    Quote Originally Posted by Heliomance View Post
    Incidentally, by "major attack" I mean I was actually seriously wondering if I was going to throw up, and when I went up to get changed I spent about five minutes having a minor panic attack in the bathroom.

    It hasn't been that bad for a while :/
    Panic attacks are horrible. :(
    (hugs more)

    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
    Lix, you're adorable. *cheekkiss*
    Lies.
    Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
    Homebrew Signature | NEW Homebrew Collection
    Thanks to all my avatar artists, especially to Paisley for my avatar of Vivian, cowardly cryophoenix.
    Quote Originally Posted by Thanqol View Post
    It's like the feng shui version of an orbital death laser.

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