Binders are just hipster clerics

[Gullintanni]

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Took 8d6 in a landslide...
No Plane Shift from reality...

Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see!
I'm just a VoP Monk, I need no sympathy...
'Cause I'm easy come, easy go.
Little high, little low,
Any grid direction the Gust of Wind blows,
Doesn't really matter to me. To me...

Mama, just brought a man to less than -10 HP,
Put a crossbow to his head,
Coupe-de-grace and now he's dead.
Mama, CharGen had just begun...
Throw away my sheet at level 1!
Mama oOoh, Didn't mean to cast that die,
Natural 1, I won't be adventurin' tomorrow!
Carry on! Carry on, cause this PC didn't matter.

Too late, my initiative has come...
Shivering Touch rolls down my spine,
Dex damage aching all the time.
Mama, the game had just begun.
Now I've gone and thrown my books away.
I don't wanna die, I sometimes wish I'd never rolled stats at all!

I see a little silhouetto of a mage!
Saving throw! Saving throw! What is your fortitude save!?
Fireballs and lightning! Hope you've got evasion and high dexterity!
Gary Gygax (Gary Gygax) Gary Gygax (Gary Gygax) Gary Gygax wrote em all! He wrote them aah-ah-ah-all.
I'm just a VoP Monk, nobody loves me.
He's just a VoP Monk, from a lawful family!
Spare his HP from those with monstrous HD!
Easy save, easy hit, will you let me roll?
Saving throw: NONE! We will not let you roll.
(Spell Resistance)
Saving throw: NONE! We will not let you roll.
(Spell Resistance)
Will not let you roll!
(Spell Resist)
Will not let you roll!
(Penetration)
Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll!
Oh deity! Oh deity! Let me roll!
Asmodeus has a Pit Fiend set aside for me!
For me! For ME!

[Guitar Solo]
So you think you can stop me with that No-Save-Just-Die!?
So you beat my resistance by rolling real high!?
Oh baby, party got me res'd baby!
Just need more XP, gonna blow your HD outta here!

This campaign's really ending, Tier 1's ruining my day...
This campaign's really ending,
This campaign really ends in...TPK

Cause that's the way the dice roll...

[Quietus]

So, do we have anyone skilled enough to make this actually happen? I see a couple issues where the cadence might get a little mixed up, but overall, this is awesome XD

[Gullintanni]

Yeah with some very minor tweaking, this could easily be made viable.

[Morph Bark]

The only problem I see in there is "any grid direction the Gust of Wind blows" being too long.

"Any grid square Gusts of Wind blow" would befit better in terms of amount of syllables, but doesn't sound as right.

[Gullintanni]

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Took 8d6 in a landslide...
No Plane Shift from reality...

Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see!
I'm just a VoP Monk, I need no sympathy...
'Cause I'm easy come, easy go.
Little high, little low,
Any grid direction way the Gust of Wind blows,
Doesn't really matter to me. To me...

Mama, just killed a man. less than -10 HP (too many syllables here no matter what I do. Suggestions?) ,
Put a crossbow to his head,
Coupe-de-grace and now he's dead.
Mama, CharGen had just begun...
Throw away my sheet at level 1!
Mama oOoh, Didn't mean to cast that die,
Natural 1, I won't be adventurin' tomorrow!
Carry on! Carry on, cause this PC didn't matter.

Too late, my initiative has come...
Shivering Touch rolls down my spine,
Dex damage aching all the time.
Mama - oOoh, (the game had just begun.)
Now I've gone and thrown my books away.
I don't wanna die, I sometimes wish I'd never rolled stats at all!

I see a little silhouetto of a mage!
Saving throw! Saving throw! What is your fortitude save!?
Fireballs and lightning! Hope you've got evasion and high dexterity good reflex saves!
Gary Gygax (Gary Gygax) Gary Gygax (Gary Gygax) Gary Gygax wrote em all! He wrote them aah-ah-ah-all.
I'm just a VoP Monk, nobody loves me.
He's just a VoP Monk, from a lawful family!
Spare his HP from those with monstrous HD!
Easy save, easy hit, will you let me roll?
Saving throw: NONE! We will not let you roll.
(Spell Resistance)
Saving throw: NONE! We will not let you roll.
(Spell Resistance)
Will not let you roll!
(Spell Resist)
Will not let you roll!
(Penetration)
Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll!
Oh deity! Oh deity! Let me roll!
Asmodeus has a Pit Fiend set aside for me!
For me! For ME!

[Guitar Solo]
So you think you can stop me with that No-Save-Just-Die!?
So you beat my resistance by rolling real high!?
Oh baby, party got me res'd baby!
Just need more XP, gonna blow your HD outta here!

This campaign's really ending, Tier 1's ruining my day...
This campaign's really ending,
This campaign really ends in...TPK

Cause that's the way the dice roll...

I think these are all the places where the cadence gets messy. Bolded parts are my changes...I think that song is viable.

[Morph Bark]

Going over the original Queen song, I think this would flow best, some cutting of words or replacing, but only minor. Most people stuck quite well to Bohemian!

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Took 8d6 in a landslide...
No Plane Shift from reality...

Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see!
I'm just a VoP Monk, I need no sympathy...
'Cause I'm easy come, easy go.
Little high, little low,
Any way the Gust of Wind blows,
Doesn't really matter to me. To me...

Mama, just brought a man to -10,
Put a crossbow to his head,
Coup-de-grace and now he's dead.
Mama, CharGen had just begun...
Throw away my sheet at level 1!
Mama oOoh, Didn't mean to cast that die,
Natural 1, I won't be adventurin' tomorrow!
Carry on! Carry on, cause this PC didn't matter.

Too late, my initiative has come...
Shivering Touch rolls down my spine,
Dex damage aching all the time.
Mama, the game had just begun.
But now I've gone and thrown my books away.
I don't wanna die, I sometimes wish I'd never rolled stats at all!

I see a little silhouetto of a mage!
Saving throw! Saving throw! What is your Fortitude!?
Fireballs and lightning! Hope you've got good Reflex saves!
Gary Gygax (Gary Gygax) Gary Gygax (Gary Gygax) Gary Gygax wrote em all! He wrote them aah-ah-ah-all.
I'm just a VoP Monk, nobody loves me.
He's just a VoP Monk, from a lawful family!
Spare his HP from those with monstrous HD!
Easy save, easy hit, will you let me roll?
Saving throw: NONE! We will not let you roll.
(Spell Resistance)
Saving throw: NONE! We will not let you roll.
(Spell Resistance)
Will not let you roll!
(Spell Resist)
Will not let you roll!
(Penetratio-o-o-on!)
Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll!
Oh Bahamut! Oh Bahamut! Oh Bahamnut, let me roll!
Asmodeus has a Pit Fiend set aside for me!
For me! For ME!

[Guitar Solo]
So you think you can stop me with that No-Save-Just-Die!?
So you beat my resistance by rolling real high!?
Oh baby, party got me res'd baby!
Just need more XP, gonna blow your HD outta here!

This campaign's really ending, Tier 1's ruining my day...
This campaign's really ending,
This campaign really ends in...TPK

Cause that's the way the dice roll...

[Gullintanni]

Going over the original Queen song, I think this would flow best, some cutting of words or replacing, but only minor. Most people stuck quite well to Bohemian!

Mama, just brought a man to -10,
Put a crossbow to his head,
Coup-de-grace and now he's dead.

Oh Bahamut! Oh Bahamut! Oh Bahamut, let me roll!
Asmodeus has a Pit Fiend set aside for me!
For me! For ME!

These are the only places I have trouble...-10 is pronounced Negative Ten...and that adds 4 syllables to a line that is otherwise very short. The only way I could see it being done is to have another singer come in at the end and add it as an after thought.

Mama, just brought a man (to minus ten)

I'm really not sure how to preserve that line without making it way too long.

And Bahamut...is it a long U sound? Or is it a short U sound we'd use? Bahamut(e) or Bahamut(t) because I think the short U sound is the correct one...though that wouldn't flow nicely. Ehlonna would work here though very nicely. And given that we're discussing an Ascetic Monk with VoP...a forest god fits the fluff pretty nicely.

[Morph Bark]

These are the only places I have trouble...-10 is pronounced Negative Ten...and that adds 4 syllables to a line that is otherwise very short. The only way I could see it being done is to have another singer come in at the end and add it as an after thought.

Mama, just brought a man (to minus ten)

I'm really not sure how to preserve that line without making it way too long.

And Bahamut...is it a long U sound? Or is it a short U sound we'd use? Bahamut(e) or Bahamut(t) because I think the short U sound is the correct one...though that wouldn't flow nicely. Ehlonna would work here though very nicely. And given that we're discussing an Ascetic Monk with VoP...a forest god fits the fluff pretty nicely.

I use the short u for Bahamut and meant -10 to be pronounced "minus ten".

Ehlonna isn't as "known"/popular as Bahamut is though, plus considering we're talking Asmodeus, the big ol' dragon fits perfectly.


(Now I am totally imagining VoP dragons though.)

[The Glyphstone]

howbout this

Mama, just Coup-de-Grace'd a man
Put a crossbow to his head,
he failed his Fort save, now he's dead.

[Gullintanni]

I use the short u for Bahamut and meant -10 to be pronounced "minus ten".

Ehlonna isn't as "known"/popular as Bahamut is though, plus considering we're talking Asmodeus, the big ol' dragon fits perfectly.


(Now I am totally imagining VoP dragons though.)

Pffft...you worship Bahamut? That guy is way mainstream. What does he do for the people man!? Nothing! He's all about magic items, and he's made of freakin' platinum dude! He's so corporate! My god? She supports my way of life. My power is organic! It comes from the earth man...she loves the forest and trees, and my VoP. She's the perfect fit for this awesome song. Au natural man.

EDIT: Glyph, looks pretty solid IMO. I'll second the motion.

[Morph Bark]

In that case, Saint Cuthbert is even better. (Ehlonna is hippie, not hipster. Hippies are too mainstream! Also Ehlonna isn't Lawful, like Monks. )

Besides, I worship Chronepsis. (Falazure would fit too, considering he's the dragon god of death and you don't want to be taken by him do you?!)

[Allanimal]

howbout this

Mama, just Coup-de-Grace'd a man
Put a crossbow to his head,
he failed his Fort save, now he's dead.

As the original contributor of the cumbersome -10 HP line, I must say this is much, much better.

[Gullintanni]

In that case, Saint Cuthbert is even better. (Ehlonna is hippie, not hipster. Hippies are too mainstream! Also Ehlonna isn't Lawful, like Monks. )

Besides, I worship Chronepsis. (Falazure would fit too, considering he's the dragon god of death and you don't want to be taken by him do you?!)

Ehlonna fits the cadence of the song better. She also fits the VoP concept for our monk friend better. As she is NG, our Lawful-good monk character is but a single step away on the alignment ladder.

Besides, hippies are only mainstream in the modern world. In setting, everyone uses magic swords...and sleeps in their cloaks

[Marillion]

I say you replace [guitar solo] with [Perform: Guitar check]

Also, I will second Gullintanni. Best thread derail EVER.

[Gullintanni]

In it's current incarnation.

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Took 8d6 in a landslide...
No Plane Shift from reality...

Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see!
I'm just a VoP Monk, I need no sympathy...
'Cause I'm easy come, easy go.
Little high, little low,
Any way the Gust of Wind blows,
Doesn't really matter to me. To me...

Mama, just Coup-de-Grace'd a man
Put a crossbow to his head,
He failed his Fort save, now he's dead.
Mama, CharGen had just begun...
Throw away my sheet at level 1!
Mama oOoh, Didn't mean to cast that die,
Natural 1, I won't be adventurin' tomorrow!
Carry on! Carry on, cause this PC didn't matter.

Too late, my initiative has come...
Shivering Touch rolls down my spine,
Dex damage aching all the time.
Mama, the game had just begun.
But now I've gone and thrown my books away.
I don't wanna die, I sometimes wish I'd never rolled stats at all!

I see a little silhouetto of a mage!
Saving throw! Saving throw! What is your Fortitude!?
Fireballs and lightning! Hope you've got good Reflex saves!
Gary Gygax (Gary Gygax) Gary Gygax (Gary Gygax) Gary Gygax wrote em all! He wrote them aah-ah-ah-all.
I'm just a VoP Monk, nobody loves me.
He's just a VoP Monk, from a lawful family!
Spare his HP from those with monstrous HD!
Easy save, easy hit, will you let me roll?
Saving throw: NONE! We will not let you roll.
(Spell Resistance)
Saving throw: NONE! We will not let you roll.
(Spell Resistance)
Will not let you roll!
(Spell Resist)
Will not let you roll!
(Penetratio-o-o-on!)
Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll!
Oh Bahamut! Oh Bahamut! Oh Bahamut, let me roll!
Asmodeus has a Pit Fiend set aside for me!
For me! For ME!

[Perform: Guitar, Solo DC: 24]

So you think you can stop me with that No-Save-Just-Die!?
So you beat my resistance by rolling real high!?
Oh baby, party got me res'd baby!
Just need more XP, gonna blow your HD outta here!

This campaign's really ending, Tier 1's ruining my day...
This campaign's really ending,
This campaign really ends in...TPK

Cause that's the way the dice roll...

[The Cat Goddess]

I think it should be "Coup-de-Grace'd an Orc", not man.

[Darth Stabber]

going over cadence, I think "throw away my sheet at level 1" could be changed to "throw my sheet away at level 1" for a slightly better flow. I realize that the words are the same, but it comes off the tongue easier the second way.

[Darth Stabber]

Also, i am really impressed that we got the whole song converted.

[Cespenar]

I'm more impressed that the thread didn't get a warning. Probably the mods thought it was too cool of a derail as well.

[Tvtyrant]

I'm more impressed that the thread didn't get a warning. Probably the mods thought it was too cool of a derail as well.

It is because they did the whole thing sarcastically

[The-Mage-King]

Bookmarked and saved. My GREAT EVIL is complete for this week.

[Telonius]

Pssht. I made up one of those before it was all cool.

[Morph Bark]

Pssht. I made up one of those before it was all cool.

Before? You must not be going on YouTube much then.

[Darth Stabber]

I was doing stuff before it was cool before it was cool.

[gallagher]

so now we need to somehow make a band...

[Doc Roc]

In that case, Saint Cuthbert is even better. (Ehlonna is hippie, not hipster. Hippies are too mainstream! Also Ehlonna isn't Lawful, like Monks. )

Besides, I worship Chronepsis. (Falazure would fit too, considering he's the dragon god of death and you don't want to be taken by him do you?!)

Red Knight, patron of optimization! Doesn't fit here, but...

[Shyftir]

Fireballs and lightning! Hope you've got good Reflex saves!

This line doesn't work. It needs to rhyme with itself or you lose an important part of the way it's supposed to sound.

[Eldan]

Fireballs and Lightning, Fear spells are Frightening?

[The Glyphstone]

I'm more impressed that the thread didn't get a warning. Probably the mods thought it was too cool of a derail as well.

Splashing red text on threads has become too mainstream.

[Admiral Squish]

Best. Thread. Ever.