LGBTAitP #37: Once upon a time...

[KenderWizard]

Hi everyone! I'm back! I'm sorry I vanished and I'm really touched that you noticed (hugs for Astrella). Things got busier and busier and then I went to a conference in Vienna for a week. But now I'm back. The conference went well. The first three days I was alone, but on the evening of the fourth day there was an event for Young Scientists so I met the other people who are in my program; there are 7 of us who got these scholarships but we're all over the world. I met four of the others and spent the rest of the conference with them and some other people.

This week is Pride Week in Dublin, and the Pride Parade is on Saturday. I can't wait! I'm thinking of buying some fabric rainbow flags and making them into a skirt, but I also have a convention the weekend after and I have to get my cosplay sorted for that and I've barely enough time, so maybe I should focus on that and make a proper rainbow dress for next year...

The latest thing biting at Comrade, not much to do with LGBT but much to do with the struggle for equal rights in general:

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It never fails to amaze me how ingrained and flat-out wrong many people's conception of 'feminism' is. I mean, granted, yes, it is an umbrella term for a vast array of schools of thought, but to me, and, I think, to most people who espouse the term, it just means 'gender equality'. Gender equality. It should be a ****ing simple concept. It's not 'women are better than men', it's not 'men are universally pigs', it's not even 'women deserve advantages'. It's 'hey, let's not treat women like **** just for having a different set of genitalia than men'. It's not ****ing rocket science. It's something anybody with a damn brain should be in support of.

But the internet, hallowed be its almighty name, is none too willing to permit me to think people actually realise that basic reality. There are so many people who absolutely cannot comprehend the sheer wrongness of their concept of feminism that I am frankly in awe at the willful ignorance necessary to maintain such delusions. People who mistake the vocal minority, the extremists who genuinely are misandrists, for the majority and claim that ninety per cent of feminists demand superiority or some ****. Women have to struggle arduously just to achieve equal rights (which they still haven't got anywhere in the world for **** sake)-- why the **** would the majority of feminists demand (or really, need) more than that which they are, as human beings, due?

Everywhere I look, even off the internet, when a discussion begins to involve feminism, the ignorant jackasses come outta the woodwork. It's enough to make anybody furious. Well, it's enough to make me furious, anyway.

Agreed, agreed, a thousand times. I suppose all I can say is that I know people who thought this way about feminism and came around. Just keep swimming!

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I... I am at the point of breaking I think. I don't think I've ever been this anxious and I can't seem to be able to calm down. I don't know my material well enough cause I haven't been able to study enough and I'm very likely going to fail my exam tomorrow and I've been failing uni so much and feel incredibly guilty about it towards my parents and other people cause I'm just ruining my chances and my parents are going to be furious about me doing so badly and then the whole trans thing and I'm just so overwhelmed that I'll probably have a panic attack either at the exam or before I have to go and I just want it all to stop... ._.

((big hugs)) One day at a time, and one hour at a time if days seem too long. The fact that you're experiencing such anxiety and dealing with being trans and still pushing forward is HUGE, Lena, even if you only push forward a tiny bit. I felt the same way when I was trying to sit my finals and dealing with chronic fatigue and not studying and wasting my parent's investment and feeling awful and the stress making the fatigue worse and the fatigue making the stress worse and on and on, but I eventually came to realise that sitting those exams at all, against all that crap, was an achievement, and even just dealing with it and getting past it, even if I had missed exams or failed exams, was also an achievement. You're working against a lot of stuff. Take care of yourself as much as possible; eat well, try to get sleep, give yourself treats, you deserve them. Anything you can push away until after the exams, push it away. I think you're doing amazingly, you've made so much progress since I came to this thread (Or you did? I can't remember which of us joined first!). And we're here for you. PM me if you want to vent, yeah? <3

[Kindablue]

Welcome back, Kender! We all missed you. (:

[Chess435]

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Uhm... Please don't tell someone who is trying not to have a panic attack to not panic.

Sorry. I'm pretty bad at this whole advice thing.

[SiuiS]

Kender! Hi!
I figured you may have been to the mythical Vienna, but was uncertain.

Sorry. I'm pretty bad at this whole advice thing.

It's okay. The sentiment was a good one, as we off forgive wording which is used for a joke.

[Mono Vertigo]

@Astrella:
I'm sorry, I don't have any good advice. Just know you're not alone. BF was under similar circumstances not so long ago. *hugs*

[Philemonite]

Under the idea that you can't move forward until you know what is wrong, here's 5 reasons why my life suck.
Warning, this might be long, and is probably pointless, so reading it is not advised.

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Friends:
This one is easy, I don't have any.

Job:
My job sucks. I work with people, and that is horrible, because people I work with are (insert appropriate insult here).
I also work with money, so if any is missing, its my fault.(Thankfully, I don't have much trouble lately.)
And, the pay is low, hours are horrible, but thats standard.

Health:
I am getting over a cold I got in the middle of summer. I have other health issues(heart cramps, blood pressure, headaches...), but I better not talk about it.

Family:
My mom died when I was 18.
Every day I hate my dad a little more.
My brother is working abroad, and last time I talked to him was in January, when he was here last time. The worst thing is that this is not a problem for me.
I lost 3 grandparents in less then a year.

Love:
Drama, drama, drama
I had the perfect guy, and I managed to ruin it, and he will never want to be with me again. The biggest problem is that no guy will ever be good enough, when compared to him. And I already mentioned that today would be our anniversary.

This doesn't fit in any of the five, but it affects it all:
I live in a third world country, and being gay here is...well, words can not explain it.
That wasn't that long actually.

[TaiLiu]

Under the idea that you can't move forward until you know what is wrong, here's 5 reasons why my life suck.
Warning, this might be long, and is probably pointless, so reading it is not advised.

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Friends:
This one is easy, I don't have any.

Job:
My job sucks. I work with people, and that is horrible, because people I work with are (insert appropriate insult here).
I also work with money, so if any is missing, its my fault.(Thankfully, I don't have much trouble lately.)
And, the pay is low, hours are horrible, but thats standard.

Health:
I am getting over a cold I got in the middle of summer. I have other health issues(heart cramps, blood pressure, headaches...), but I better not talk about it.

Family:
My mom died when I was 18.
Every day I hate my dad a little more.
My brother is working abroad, and last time I talked to him was in January, when he was here last time. The worst thing is that this is not a problem for me.
I lost 3 grandparents in less then a year.

Love:
Drama, drama, drama
I had the perfect guy, and I managed to ruin it, and he will never want to be with me again. The biggest problem is that no guy will ever be good enough, when compared to him. And I already mentioned that today would be our anniversary.

This doesn't fit in any of the five, but it affects it all:
I live in a third world country, and being gay here is...well, words can not explain it.
That wasn't that long actually.

[Eirala]

@Astrella:
I can't give any better advice than was already given, so good luck and *tight hugs*

Under the idea that you can't move forward until you know what is wrong, here's 5 reasons why my life suck.
Warning, this might be long, and is probably pointless, so reading it is not advised.

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Friends:
This one is easy, I don't have any.

Job:
My job sucks. I work with people, and that is horrible, because people I work with are (insert appropriate insult here).
I also work with money, so if any is missing, its my fault.(Thankfully, I don't have much trouble lately.)
And, the pay is low, hours are horrible, but thats standard.

Health:
I am getting over a cold I got in the middle of summer. I have other health issues(heart cramps, blood pressure, headaches...), but I better not talk about it.

Family:
My mom died when I was 18.
Every day I hate my dad a little more.
My brother is working abroad, and last time I talked to him was in January, when he was here last time. The worst thing is that this is not a problem for me.
I lost 3 grandparents in less then a year.

Love:
Drama, drama, drama
I had the perfect guy, and I managed to ruin it, and he will never want to be with me again. The biggest problem is that no guy will ever be good enough, when compared to him. And I already mentioned that today would be our anniversary.

This doesn't fit in any of the five, but it affects it all:
I live in a third world country, and being gay here is...well, words can not explain it.
That wasn't that long actually.

I don't know what to say
*gives hugs instead*

[The Succubus]

<snip>

I'm not going to offer you hugs or worldly-wise sayings or anything like that, because with most of those things I don't have much experience.

But if you want to talk, I'll listen.

[Lentrax]

Hi Kender. Good to see you back.

Asteron: I'm sorry to hear your reasons for life sucking so bad. Things will get better.

[Philemonite]

Yes,

I don't know what to say
*gives hugs instead*

Hugs help.

I'm not going to offer you hugs or worldly-wise sayings or anything like that, because with most of those things I don't have much experience.

But if you want to talk, I'll listen.

Thank you, I might take you up on that offer, but not today.

Asteron: I'm sorry to hear your reasons for life sucking so bad. Things will get better.

Same goes for you, and I hope you feel better soon.

[Castaras]

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I... I am at the point of breaking I think. I don't think I've ever been this anxious and I can't seem to be able to calm down. I don't know my material well enough cause I haven't been able to study enough and I'm very likely going to fail my exam tomorrow and I've been failing uni so much and feel incredibly guilty about it towards my parents and other people cause I'm just ruining my chances and my parents are going to be furious about me doing so badly and then the whole trans thing and I'm just so overwhelmed that I'll probably have a panic attack either at the exam or before I have to go and I just want it all to stop... ._.

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Hooo boy I know that exam anxiety all too well.

There's nothing you can do now about trying to get to that exam. Revising will only increase panic because you'll look at things and go "Oh gods I don't understand this" thus making it harder to understand thus perpetuating the cycle. All you can do is make sure that you keep yourself busy doing things other than thinking about the exam, and get some rest.

Tomorrow, it'll happen. You might end up panicking, you might sit there and not understand anything on the paper at all. You might look at it, understand some of it, then come across one thing you don't understand, thus rendering you helpless for the rest of it. A panic attack, if you feel it coming you could raise your hand and go "HELP PANIC OH GODS" like I did, and get someone sat outside with you for a bit. Dunno if your exams are similar to ours in the ability to do that.

You might end up failing. If it's like, me, you probably will. If you have an actual panic attack in the exam, you might get leeway. You don't know.

But when it happens, you'll do the exam, whatever goes on will happen.

Then it'll be over. Sure, there's other things that'll come off of the exam, but for a small time you won't have to think about them.

If you're anything like me, finally finishing the exams will lift a huge weight off your shoulders for a bit.


Best of luck. *offer hugs if wanted*

[Karen Lynn]

*hugs for all who want*
*licks for all who don't refuse*

Geezey crap... If I ever decide to move to Chicago, stop me. I don't care how, just stop me. Slash my tires and lock me in a closet if you have to.

[Partysan]

Been away again. Was working the night shift last week and didn't have much power to post.

Concerning webcomics, I love Twokinds and remember misfile being ok. I would suggest to separate comics in the OP between comics dealing mainly with LGBT issues (like Rain) and such that only positively touch on them (like Twokinds). That said, the main characters in Flipside are a lesbian couple. EGS also has lesbian and gay characters. And so on, there's quite a few.

Still remember the time I went grocery shopping, and new parents ahead of me had too little money, and had to cut diapers and a thing of formula out of their cart to afford the rest. As soon as they rung up and started walking off, I told cashier to ring those two items right away, swipes my card, and ran them out to the couple. New mother started crying, new father did not know how to respond. They asked for my name and how they could pay me back, I said have a nice day, and walked back in. Still makes me smile. Besides, was only thirty bucks. No big deal.

If I could find you any more likable, I would now. That's a great thing to have done.

Sodomy and cocktails?

I like your way of thinking.

I don't know who posted the link any more, but i just watched the short movie Love is all you need. Really powerful and touching, that should show at least some people how important it is to improve the current situation concerning the treatment of LGBT people.

Quite heartrending. Also very well done.

Wish I had a job. At least I'd be making good use of my time instead of laying around doing nothing.

I have a temp job right now, to carry my finance until october. Believe me, I'd prefer just laying around SO MUCH.

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I... I am at the point of breaking I think. I don't think I've ever been this anxious and I can't seem to be able to calm down. I don't know my material well enough cause I haven't been able to study enough and I'm very likely going to fail my exam tomorrow and I've been failing uni so much and feel incredibly guilty about it towards my parents and other people cause I'm just ruining my chances and my parents are going to be furious about me doing so badly and then the whole trans thing and I'm just so overwhelmed that I'll probably have a panic attack either at the exam or before I have to go and I just want it all to stop... ._.

I'm sorry. One thing though: you have a) very good reasons for not being able to do well right now and b) even if you fail uni it's not actually the end of the world. I was studying law and had to quit, because after three year of ever worsening depression and social reclusion I had missed so much that it became impossible to catch up. However, I'm starting my studies to go into local administration in october. I lost time. But ont much else. There's always time to start over.

Under the idea that you can't move forward until you know what is wrong, here's 5 reasons why my life suck.
Warning, this might be long, and is probably pointless, so reading it is not advised.

Spoiler

Show

Friends:
This one is easy, I don't have any.

Job:
My job sucks. I work with people, and that is horrible, because people I work with are (insert appropriate insult here).
I also work with money, so if any is missing, its my fault.(Thankfully, I don't have much trouble lately.)
And, the pay is low, hours are horrible, but thats standard.

Health:
I am getting over a cold I got in the middle of summer. I have other health issues(heart cramps, blood pressure, headaches...), but I better not talk about it.

Family:
My mom died when I was 18.
Every day I hate my dad a little more.
My brother is working abroad, and last time I talked to him was in January, when he was here last time. The worst thing is that this is not a problem for me.
I lost 3 grandparents in less then a year.

Love:
Drama, drama, drama
I had the perfect guy, and I managed to ruin it, and he will never want to be with me again. The biggest problem is that no guy will ever be good enough, when compared to him. And I already mentioned that today would be our anniversary.

This doesn't fit in any of the five, but it affects it all:
I live in a third world country, and being gay here is...well, words can not explain it.
That wasn't that long actually.

I'm sorry for being unable to help or advise in any meaningful way. *hugs* though. We still love you here.

[TaiLiu]

Geezey crap... If I ever decide to move to Chicago, stop me. I don't care how, just stop me. Slash my tires and lock me in a closet if you have to.

Okay.

[Karen Lynn]

>.< I am not likeable! I am evil! I am an evil Eevee!

I do nice things so the world is merely worth taking over later in life, as opposed to outright destruction.

[Lady Serpentine]

*hugs for all who want*
*licks for all who don't refuse*

Geezey crap... If I ever decide to move to Chicago, stop me. I don't care how, just stop me. Slash my tires and lock me in a closet if you have to.

Is this like the Jeezum Crow?

Anyway. *hugs back and is licked* What happened, Lady Lynn? *hopes that's an acceptable nickname*

[tomandtish]

Oh my

My therapist appointment went really well! I'm glad I went. I can see why my therapist is one of the best in the South-East! I'm going back next Friday with a page about how I think coming out to my dad will go. I already feel so much better about therapy. So far she thinks I have gender dysthymia instead of gender dysphoria, which... go figure. It's kind of like when I first saw the word transgender, I kind of identified with it. But genderqueer really resonated with me. Same with dysphoria/dysthymia.

Congrats! Glad it worked out well for you!

So it depends on how you define good therapist, then?

Well, while there are bad therapists out there, there are certainly good ones who may just not be the best fit for a given individual.

Sigh… I remember when some friends of mine were going through a rough patch. They were seeing a couple's therapist and complaining about not making progress. I was invited to a session (as someone who had been a close friend of both before they were married), and one thing I quickly realized whas that neither of them had mentioned how bad the drinking had become. When I confronted them about this, they said that they hadn't said anything because he didn't specialize in substance abuse cases. Once they admitted the level of drinking to him, he referred them to a couple's counselor who also specialized in substance abuse. (They still ended up getting divorced, but felt that the counseling was beneficial).

Last time I went shopping for socks.... I spent $76. I went to Costco. No I am not proud, I just got sick of SiuiS spending ten mins looking for a matching pair. XD

Well, our Costco sells a pack of 9 pairs for about $6, so 108 pairs? Dang….

On college, money, and supportive families and what-not:

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I feel that going to an advanced school is needless sometimes. I have two close friends, both of which have a degree and neither have a good job, let alone one in their field. They are however, over-qualified for any menial one, so no one will hire them. A lot of the time students go to college because they're students and that is what good little highschoolers do :/

The sad part? College is the end-all be-all, but is frankly a waste of time and money unless you know what you're going to when you get out.... And I don't know a single late teen- early twenty-something's who does.

Having supportive parents is awesome, I would know, but when you're fresh out of college, 25 and still not ready to move out of mom's house... There's something wrong. The world shouldn't work like that. I know too many lazy after-college "adults" to have any sort of affection or reverence for college.

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That is to say: This notion that you have to go to college to be a "good active participating adult" is... kinda messed up. It puts everything in the wrong perspective, IMHO

The old view (yes, I'm putting on my "old man hat" again) wasn't so much that you had to go to college to be a good active participating adult, but that you had to go to be a "successful" adult (i.e. rich). You had your blue collar and white collar jobs.

Blue collar jobs included (but not limited to) construction, repair jobs (auto, appliance, etc.), manufacturing (the workers on the floor), low level jobs in the service industries (fast food, store sales, etc.), front line public service (law enforcement, fire, EMS).

White Collar jobs included bankers, lawyers, doctors, MBAs (those who ran the manufacturing businesses, the fast food franchises, etc.), educators, engineers (those who designed, not those who did the actual building).

Your white collar prospects went to college for degrees in their respective fields. Your blue collar prospects either went to trade school, or started work in their field pretty much straight out of high school.

As technology advanced, things changed. There also arose a new class of white collar job, the computer person. Many blue collar jobs require fewer people to do them, and some can be replaced by a smaller number of white collar computer techs handling automated equipment. You therefore have a smaller (relative to the population) number of blue collar workers needed.

This helped fuel the belief that you needed the college degree to guarantee a job and become a success. As more jobs became de facto white collar jobs, the degree became seen as more and more important. Even then, an interesting contradiction arose: Your degree subject became in many cases less important than the fact that you had one. (Many jobs still require a specific degree field, but many more entry level jobs simply require the degree itself).

In short, while you don't need a degree to be a "good, active, participating adult", having one (or trade school experience or military experience, or something to put on a resume besides high school) always helps when it comes to getting a job. Because if two candidates are equal except for education, (and there's no pay difference based on education), the one who appears to have a better education is probably going to win.

Ironically, it's my experience that the person who isn't going to college is the one most likely to have a plan, whether it's military service, trade school, or they've done enough part time work during school somewhere to get on someplace (I have a friend who has a son who part-timed at a mechanic shop and is going to continue doing that while he gets ASE certified).

In short, if you've finished high school and have a plan, great. If you don't have a plan and can afford to do so, further educating yourself in some form while you try and figure out what to do can't really hurt.

To sum up: Right or wrong, there's a prevailing belief among people (and more importantly employers) that the degree helps. Therefore anyone who doesn't have one (or something else they can put on a resume to add weight) is going to be at a disadvantage. This disadvantage SHOULD NOT (but unfortunately sometime does) carry over into how people view other parts of that person's life.

Man, I take a long time to get to the point.

You guys really won't let me just be depressed for a while?

I suspect that if you really wanted us to leave you alone, you'd stop replying with smileys….

Hmm… this warrants apple-ginger pork tenderloin with wasabi mashed potatoes and spiced green beans.

[Karen Lynn]

Just Chicago being Chicago. Psychotic drivers, crazy traffic, going 25mph for 2 miles on the freeway is 'great progress', and nobody has just a lack of courtesy. People go out of their way to screw others over on the road. Witnessed two accidents, saw the end result of three more, and watched a guy swerve to try and take out two motorcycles.

[TaiLiu]

Just Chicago being Chicago. Psychotic drivers, crazy traffic, going 25mph for 2 miles on the freeway is 'great progress', and nobody has just a lack of courtesy. People go out of their way to screw others over on the road. Witnessed two accidents, saw the end result of three more, and watched a guy swerve to try and take out two motorcycles.

...Remind me to never go to Chicago.

[noparlpf]

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I... I am at the point of breaking I think. I don't think I've ever been this anxious and I can't seem to be able to calm down. I don't know my material well enough cause I haven't been able to study enough and I'm very likely going to fail my exam tomorrow and I've been failing uni so much and feel incredibly guilty about it towards my parents and other people cause I'm just ruining my chances and my parents are going to be furious about me doing so badly and then the whole trans thing and I'm just so overwhelmed that I'll probably have a panic attack either at the exam or before I have to go and I just want it all to stop... ._.

Anxiety sucks. I know it's hard, but if you can, just try to stop caring how you do on this exam. It's going to happen, and at this point there's not much to do but give it your best shot. Good luck.

Nope: I don't mean anyone in particular. If I did, I would call them out on it rather than just be passive aggressive; it's the honorable thing to do (well, that or keep my mouth shut!). It's just... Weird to me sometimes. I understand that problems with school stuff are Real Problems. I also recall you being an "over" achiever (why not just achiever? Huh.) and all that.

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Yeah, no worries. I can understand it seeming weird. People's experiences range from supporting themselves and siblings through high school and then getting a full-time job as soon as possible to growing up without having to work for twenty-odd years and having the money to waste on a $50k/year private university. I can't imagine being able to afford that. I got to go to my old school on huge scholarships and now I'm at a relatively inexpensive state school. Even so, I recognise that I can only afford this without working myself because of three generations of family chipping in, and I don't take that for granted.
I'm really not an over-achiever though. I may seem like it because I'm three years ahead in school, but that's really in spite of my nonexistent study habits. I am a pretty bad slacker when it comes to school, though I do get most of my work done on time. In an actual job, I'm a bit of an over-achiever/perfectionist, but not so much in school.

Hi everyone! I'm back! I'm sorry I vanished and I'm really touched that you noticed (hugs for Astrella). Things got busier and busier and then I went to a conference in Vienna for a week. But now I'm back. The conference went well. The first three days I was alone, but on the evening of the fourth day there was an event for Young Scientists so I met the other people who are in my program; there are 7 of us who got these scholarships but we're all over the world. I met four of the others and spent the rest of the conference with them and some other people.

This week is Pride Week in Dublin, and the Pride Parade is on Saturday. I can't wait! I'm thinking of buying some fabric rainbow flags and making them into a skirt, but I also have a convention the weekend after and I have to get my cosplay sorted for that and I've barely enough time, so maybe I should focus on that and make a proper rainbow dress for next year...

Hey, you're back! Figured it was busy stuff. Glad the conference went well.
Pride Week sounds fun. Parades aren't my cup of tea but I hope you have fun there.

Under the idea that you can't move forward until you know what is wrong, here's 5 reasons why my life suck.
Warning, this might be long, and is probably pointless, so reading it is not advised.

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Friends:
This one is easy, I don't have any.

Job:
My job sucks. I work with people, and that is horrible, because people I work with are (insert appropriate insult here).
I also work with money, so if any is missing, its my fault.(Thankfully, I don't have much trouble lately.)
And, the pay is low, hours are horrible, but thats standard.

Health:
I am getting over a cold I got in the middle of summer. I have other health issues(heart cramps, blood pressure, headaches...), but I better not talk about it.

Family:
My mom died when I was 18.
Every day I hate my dad a little more.
My brother is working abroad, and last time I talked to him was in January, when he was here last time. The worst thing is that this is not a problem for me.
I lost 3 grandparents in less then a year.

Love:
Drama, drama, drama
I had the perfect guy, and I managed to ruin it, and he will never want to be with me again. The biggest problem is that no guy will ever be good enough, when compared to him. And I already mentioned that today would be our anniversary.

This doesn't fit in any of the five, but it affects it all:
I live in a third world country, and being gay here is...well, words can not explain it.
That wasn't that long actually.

I don't really have any advice or anything. Hope things look up, I guess.

[Lix Lorn]

>.< I am not likeable! I am evil! I am an evil Eevee!

I do nice things so the world is merely worth taking over later in life, as opposed to outright destruction.

You are ADORABLES. I would give you the world. xD

[turkishproverb]

Under the idea that you can't move forward until you know what is wrong, here's 5 reasons why my life suck.
Warning, this might be long, and is probably pointless, so reading it is not advised.

Spoiler

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Friends:
This one is easy, I don't have any.

Job:
My job sucks. I work with people, and that is horrible, because people I work with are (insert appropriate insult here).
I also work with money, so if any is missing, its my fault.(Thankfully, I don't have much trouble lately.)
And, the pay is low, hours are horrible, but thats standard.

Health:
I am getting over a cold I got in the middle of summer. I have other health issues(heart cramps, blood pressure, headaches...), but I better not talk about it.

Family:
My mom died when I was 18.
Every day I hate my dad a little more.
My brother is working abroad, and last time I talked to him was in January, when he was here last time. The worst thing is that this is not a problem for me.
I lost 3 grandparents in less then a year.

Love:
Drama, drama, drama
I had the perfect guy, and I managed to ruin it, and he will never want to be with me again. The biggest problem is that no guy will ever be good enough, when compared to him. And I already mentioned that today would be our anniversary.

This doesn't fit in any of the five, but it affects it all:
I live in a third world country, and being gay here is...well, words can not explain it.
That wasn't that long actually.

*hugs* We're here for you. It's not much, but better than nothing. *Hugs*

If you need an ear, feel free to PM me as well.

[mistformsquirrl]

Under the idea that you can't move forward until you know what is wrong, here's 5 reasons why my life suck.
Warning, this might be long, and is probably pointless, so reading it is not advised.

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Friends:
This one is easy, I don't have any.

Job:
My job sucks. I work with people, and that is horrible, because people I work with are (insert appropriate insult here).
I also work with money, so if any is missing, its my fault.(Thankfully, I don't have much trouble lately.)
And, the pay is low, hours are horrible, but thats standard.

Health:
I am getting over a cold I got in the middle of summer. I have other health issues(heart cramps, blood pressure, headaches...), but I better not talk about it.

Family:
My mom died when I was 18.
Every day I hate my dad a little more.
My brother is working abroad, and last time I talked to him was in January, when he was here last time. The worst thing is that this is not a problem for me.
I lost 3 grandparents in less then a year.

Love:
Drama, drama, drama
I had the perfect guy, and I managed to ruin it, and he will never want to be with me again. The biggest problem is that no guy will ever be good enough, when compared to him. And I already mentioned that today would be our anniversary.

This doesn't fit in any of the five, but it affects it all:
I live in a third world country, and being gay here is...well, words can not explain it.
That wasn't that long actually.

*super megahugs* <_ _> I am so sorry Asteron. I hope things get better very soon for you <;_;>

[mistformsquirrl]

Spoiler

Show

I... I am at the point of breaking I think. I don't think I've ever been this anxious and I can't seem to be able to calm down. I don't know my material well enough cause I haven't been able to study enough and I'm very likely going to fail my exam tomorrow and I've been failing uni so much and feel incredibly guilty about it towards my parents and other people cause I'm just ruining my chances and my parents are going to be furious about me doing so badly and then the whole trans thing and I'm just so overwhelmed that I'll probably have a panic attack either at the exam or before I have to go and I just want it all to stop... ._.

<;_;> *huggles*

[Akowrules]

Under the idea that you can't move forward until you know what is wrong, here's 5 reasons why my life suck.
Warning, this might be long, and is probably pointless, so reading it is not advised.

Spoiler

Show

Friends:
This one is easy, I don't have any.

Job:
My job sucks. I work with people, and that is horrible, because people I work with are (insert appropriate insult here).
I also work with money, so if any is missing, its my fault.(Thankfully, I don't have much trouble lately.)
And, the pay is low, hours are horrible, but thats standard.

Health:
I am getting over a cold I got in the middle of summer. I have other health issues(heart cramps, blood pressure, headaches...), but I better not talk about it.

Family:
My mom died when I was 18.
Every day I hate my dad a little more.
My brother is working abroad, and last time I talked to him was in January, when he was here last time. The worst thing is that this is not a problem for me.
I lost 3 grandparents in less then a year.

Love:
Drama, drama, drama
I had the perfect guy, and I managed to ruin it, and he will never want to be with me again. The biggest problem is that no guy will ever be good enough, when compared to him. And I already mentioned that today would be our anniversary.

This doesn't fit in any of the five, but it affects it all:
I live in a third world country, and being gay here is...well, words can not explain it.
That wasn't that long actually.

You do have friends!!! All of us!! You at least have me as a friend. As for your job? Don't most people hate their jobs? That's pretty standard.

Now, I know that you're in the dark tunnel of depression right now and I know what it feels like. Hell, I'm still in that tunnel right now. But you've got to look at the light at the end of the tunnel. Life sucks. It's a b****. And nothing can change that. We can't control life most of the time. We can, however, choose what will determine how we look at it. If you spend time looking at all the bad times, then yes, your outlook on life will be pretty sh****. But, if you look at the better times, then your outlook will be alright. At least, I'd hope so.

[Lauren]

If anyone has a spare hug (or lick), I just 'ran into' my ex-GF on a FB post and while it's nice to see she can now respond to FB posts where I have commented without accusing me of stalking her, the piece of my heart I left with her when she left me is a little bit bruised right now. (For heaven's sake, we split up in 2010, I should be thoroughly over her, but I'm dreadful at letting go.)

[Chess435]

If anyone has a spare hug (or lick), I just 'ran into' my ex-GF on a FB post and while it's nice to see she can now respond to FB posts where I have commented without accusing me of stalking her, the piece of my heart I left with her when she left me is a little bit bruised right now. (For heaven's sake, we split up in 2010, I should be thoroughly over her, but I'm dreadful at letting go.)

*huggles tight*

[mistformsquirrl]

If anyone has a spare hug (or lick), I just 'ran into' my ex-GF on a FB post and while it's nice to see she can now respond to FB posts where I have commented without accusing me of stalking her, the piece of my heart I left with her when she left me is a little bit bruised right now. (For heaven's sake, we split up in 2010, I should be thoroughly over her, but I'm dreadful at letting go.)

*hug* <;.;> I totally understand. I sometimes still have moments where I miss my ex-gf, and that relationship is 10+ years dead.

[TaiLiu]

If anyone has a spare hug (or lick), I just 'ran into' my ex-GF on a FB post and while it's nice to see she can now respond to FB posts where I have commented without accusing me of stalking her, the piece of my heart I left with her when she left me is a little bit bruised right now. (For heaven's sake, we split up in 2010, I should be thoroughly over her, but I'm dreadful at letting go.)

I do. *Hugs.*