The Worst player you've ever had/seen/been/heard of

[Talakeal]

Once again, you say "I'm not telling you this story because it's that bad," we all hear "Well now you have to tell us."

I second that motion.

[Mr Beer]

Once again, you say "I'm not telling you this story because it's that bad," we all hear "Well now you have to tell us."

This, it's like having a thread called 'sexiest story thread' and saying 'well I would tell you my story but it's just too sexy'.

[(Un)Inspired]

This, it's like having a thread called 'sexiest story thread' and saying 'well I would tell you my story but it's just too sexy'.

Lol it's exactly like that.


Dear Penthouse,

This incredibly erotic thing happened to me the other day. So erotic you can't even handle it.

Sincerely,
Penthousefan69

[lytokk]

Seriously Vknight, you've gotta share now. That's the whole point of this thread.

[Vknight]

Some experts from his most glorious moments

At level 2 he decided too challenge a elder silver dragon too a duel.

Deciding too play a Minotaur Paladin after being told it would be a game of intrigue and politics so his character wouldn't deal with any criminal elements and the nobles could not stand the 9' cow man

Deciding too sleep in a house in Centralia despite the fact his character was not tired and I said he could continue on... after part of the house had already collapsed

Casting a spell after taking 7 drain as a mage.
Playing a mage because fireballs when the party had a mage like that

Playing a wizard from the rival magical academy too the king and calling him a half baked wizard... too his face. The king in question has Gate ready too summon a solar if he needs backup(He is also human and 85 so can't go adventuring)

Trying too be bitten by a werewolf too become a werewolf in a World of Darkness game. Yes he knew. Better yet a Vampire/Geist game with the first session determining what you became.

Attempting to play Vincent from Final Fantasy 7 in a Wild Talents superhero game.

Attempting to play an Angel in a game where i did not want divinity or gods involved. Trying too claim he is part angel sent by god which lets him use his flaming sword on the unholy

Playing a guy with time freezing and only 3 ranks in the power. In a mutants and masterminds game at Power Level 8.

Being taught Warmachine/Hordes(the wargames) and failing too realize that all the little lizard things without guns can't shoot and need too engage in melee thus getting shot by his opponent... in both games after having this explained, both times.

Trying too sneak into a fortress by climbing up the falls with a pair of axes in the middle of the day only using invisibility too hide his 'location'

Tackling the Heirophant of a god because the guy registers as lawful evil. Said god is Lawful Neutral and the guy was a bad person but followed his gods teachings he just also happened too have a loose moral compass.

Creating a weird clone baby using Mi-Go technology

Signing his soul and brain too a ghoul magic user

Shooting the only party member who could speak latin and thus save them from the hell-hound

Destroying the magical crystal that keeps the fortress city the party is in afloat(Yup he's the one who did that thing he struck the final blow and sealed the parties fate)

Likes too pseudo LARP during sessions which when the play area is around a coffee table with 2 rocking chairs, 2 swivel chairs and a couch and he's on the couch is awkward for everyone.

Leaving his bad behind one time and me picking it up and it falling open too reveal he was entirely serious about having a ballgag in his bag...

Losing a copy of game he brought and tearing up my house looking for it and almost walking out with my copy of it(This one is just kind of annoying)

Trying too fight a Elder God and getting upset when it just eats him... repeat with Dragon... repeat with Dragon again at least 2 more times actually...

Challenging a old man who has shown the ability too casually throw boulders to a unarmed duel, when he was a polearm expert

Playing a Dragonblooded in a Lunar/Abyssal/Solar's game and getting upset at the power difference

Claiming that actions having consequences is a bad thing... I don't know how else too describe someone who gets upset when his actions has consequences and he blames the Gm

Lording over another player when he is told by his god too guide them down the path of the righteous

Playing the worst type of paladin every-time

Not understanding that a mystery game has mystery and vice-versa for horror. Getting upset at not being able too take solve the mystery skill.

Complaining about other players minor actions

Destroying a guys house looking for evidence and only finding a dream catcher. Then burning the house after he realizes that there will be no way too clean the place of all the DNA evidence

Falling asleep in the middle of the road... mark this down 5 times

All his characters being based on something. By that i mean a character from a final fantasy game or other similar property. Talking about the inspiration for said characters.

Punching a Archmages Familiar because it was a lobster and had taken his arm(He was a warforged and it was upgrading it... after he asked the archmage too upgrade it)

Showing up at the journeyman league I am attending and getting me angry enough too yell. Because he won't stop going on about how I torture him in our games for his actions having consequences and endlessly about Rooster Teeth/Final Fantasy.

There you are all happy now? Yes? No? That get your thirst quenched for a bit? If you want me too expand on these. Sure, also just look at some of my older posts about the floating fortress.

[Arbane]

My worst player was/is awful and I have too remove him from my gaming group.

You haven't done so YET?

[Vknight]

You haven't done so YET?

I am too much of a good person at times. And can have the patience of a saint. Also helps that the 6 years we have known each other. Only the first 2 did we game together and he didn't rejoin the group until 1 year ago for a combined time of 3 years(Had hoped his antics had improved... they have not)
And with the fact the local store most of the people there won't join my games. After a few jerks at the Pathfinder Society started up a rumor of some sort. Which has damaged my reputation there with those that do not know me. So with a low player count an inability too recruit new players easily because he its that guy the Society people talk about... yeah.

Also the society people I'll have up something for them soon enough and there problem with me, that they thought it was ok to do something like that

[Mr Beer]

There you are all happy now? Yes? No? That get your thirst quenched for a bit? If you want me too expand on these. Sure, also just look at some of my older posts about the floating fortress.

Heh heh heh, awesome.

I particularly liked the ballgag story, although that's not really terrible player stuff, it's kind of like a (kinky) cherry on top of the dessert.

Have to say, I would have banned him a long time ago and it's possible your low player count problem is not unrelated to having this guy in your group. I mean, if I rocked up to a game, and he's arguing with the GM, being a Lawful Stupid paladin and talking up his ballgag...I wouldn't stick around.

[Milodiah]

So this is from last night. It's a long post, as I usually do write them long, but it's kinda me venting at the same time as sharing.


We're playing Rifts, a ridiculous(ly awesome) scifi/fantasy blend game, and Player J decides he's bored with his current character. Granted, it's rather reasonable to retire him anyway, since he has in-character racked up more than enough cash, real estate, and a supermodel wife and no one would blame him for retiring in this situation.

He says he wants to play a Crazy next. For those of you who don't know Rifts, a Crazy is a human augmented with electrodes in the brain which literally reprogram it to pump out muscle growth, reflex enhancement, heightened senses, faster thought, etc. at the cost of literally programming over such boring things as mental stability, reducing a high-level Crazy to a variably-functional gibbering madman as the handbasket of madnesses build up.

Since I have a mild one built already as a backup character, exactly to the GM's specifications in character level and power level, I offer it to him. He looks it over, and agrees to take it. Except he re-rolls the psychoses (which the dice had let me off easy on, just ending up with mild paranoia and a slightly-higher-than-the-average-RPG-player-character lust for fame and glory). He also uses the wrong chart, for the full-on rebuilt-brain Crazy as opposed to the much more mild Wired Gunslinger I had built. He ends up with six different personalities, two of which the book literally describes as "Jack the Ripper".

We do our first mission together, it's a resounding success, the GM congratulates us on how well we pulled it off (just an aside, this is a GM who, if the object you're stealing in a game of D&D belongs to a level 20 wizard, will not pull punches in designing a security system appropriate for a level 20 wizard, and that's essentially who we were stealing from...enough patting myself on the back though, this theme will come back later) Afterwards, Player J rolls a d6 to determine the presonality he ends up with after a brush with the law. It's Jack the Ripper.

I don't blame him for what happened next, it's what happened as a result that lands the story here, so bear with me. He wanders off alone, spots a woman walking down an alley alone at night, pulls a magnum revolver, and blows out her knees. He then drags her into a dumpster with him and starts going full-on Black Dahlia on her, although specifically leaving her alive and screaming. We are in Lazlo. It is an incredibly magic-heavy city with one of the best police forces in the world. So naturally the cops show up to check on the two gunshots and the screaming bloody murder in that dumpster over yonder, next to all the bloodstains.

Except when the GM says, "You hear sirens approaching", what does J do? He says (word-for-word, as testified by everyone at the table) "Ok, then I slit her throat and start cutting out her heart."

So now he hears footsteps outside the dumpster, someone bangs on it and yells to come out with your hands up. He knows for certain there are three cops out there. I remind him of some of his class abilities that make him the best in the party for dealing with this situation, suggest things like blind-firing his auto-pistols through the dumpster on full auto to make the cops dive for cover and negate their readied action to shoot him when he comes out, etc. etc.

He doesn't do any of it. He literally just leaps out of the dumpster, guns in hand, and gets the absolute **** tased out of him thanks to three cops having readied actions at point-blank range (although he managed to dodge 2 of 3 shots, as a testament to the Wired Gunslinger) with magic tasers that pierce armor and wrap the victim in fast-hardening bulletproof resin. Because this is Lazlo, city of magic, and the police most certainly do have that. He subsequently gets thrown in the hover-squadcar, taken to a holding cell, and he commits suicide after he realizes that in-character he's just a hired merc to the rest of the party and we're certainly not gonna bail him out of that if we even find out.

All of that isn't what puts the story here, except for the stupid decisions. They were slightly stupider than the average stupid decision, but at least half of us have done stupider and it could conceivably be chalked up to his character being mentally ill.

It's the amount of complaining he starts as soon as he hands me back the character sheet. First comes the good old fashioned "But I was just roleplaying my character!" argument, word-for-word, as if that's supposed to waive the fact that police tend to investigate gunshots and screams, then arrest serial killers they catch red-handed. Then he insists he didn't say he stopped to cut out the woman's heart after the GM said there were sirens, but everyone at the table backed up the GM and quoted him verbatim. Then he says the GM didn't give him enough warnings on how close the police actually were. Then he starts arguing on exactly what he meant by "cutting out her heart", and how long it should have taken to do so. Then he said he misheard the GM and should get to go back to that point so he could get a do-over. Then he said he hated this game and never wanted to play it anyway. Then the session stopped for the night, we switched to a new campaign in a new system, and I really hope Rifts isn't over but kinda suspect it might be now.

I'll add that the GM did eventually say he could go back after he pretty much said he wouldn't make another character and was leaving the campaign entirely, but he declined. Of course the GM slips into self-doubt at this point, which tends to happen when a campaign explodes in your face from a single minor incident you didn't even plan to happen. We did the best we could to convince him he was in the right, but I dunno how well it worked. This GM is a fair person overall, but at the same time he is one of the best optimizers I have ever seen, and as mentioned earlier he will build our opposition to exactly where it realistically should be in terms of power level. He rolled for the police response instead of spawning them as a morality lesson, the device he used for the cops was completely legal (and even low-tier in the construction matrices), he didn't fudge any of the rolls, he accepted everything I as a fellow GM suggested as a negative modifier (two out of three cops even failed the Horror Factor check I suggested when they saw what was in the dumpster, which caused them to miss abysmally with their shots), etc etc. Recall also the multiple options I suggested to the player of what is essentially my character, which he considered with all due diligence and then rejected for no clear reason.

So, yeah...campaign on life-support thanks to a hissy-fit triggered by the DM and dice reacting appropriately to a stupid idea.

[Vknight]

Heh heh heh, awesome.

I particularly liked the ballgag story, although that's not really terrible player stuff, it's kind of like a (kinky) cherry on top of the dessert.

Have to say, I would have banned him a long time ago and it's possible your low player count problem is not unrelated to having this guy in your group. I mean, if I rocked up to a game, and he's arguing with the GM, being a Lawful Stupid paladin and talking up his ballgag...I wouldn't stick around.

I expect it has contributed too the more recent inability too get new people. Along with those rumors

[Milodiah]

-Pissed off Rifts dude story-

So, update...amazingly the guy came back the next session, picked up the previously-retired character without saying a word, and rejoined the campaign. Granted he's not pitching in as often as he usually does (in the other campaign he and I are practically the plot pilot/copilot duo) but still, no hard feelings on his end.

Really rather odd, I suppose...but appreciated nonetheless.

[Lord Torath]

Always good to hear of a Bad Player story that ends well. Hope things go well in your Rifts campaign!

[Technetium]

I've heard of a guy who did his basic stats like this;

Str: 18
Int: 17
Wis: 16
Dex: 18
Cha: 17

Obviously, Constitution was going to be his dump, and the DM asked him whether it would be fine to make it extremely low, since he seemed to be such a 'talented individual.' The guy agreed to make it four, and the DM replied 'Well then, seeing as you had such a low Constitution, you died shortly of an unspecified illness after being born. Do you want to roll another character now?"

I didn't hear what happened after that, but he either grudgingly rolled or rage-quitted.

[Anonymouswizard]

I've heard of a guy who did his basic stats like this;

Str: 18
Int: 17
Wis: 16
Dex: 18
Cha: 17

Obviously, Constitution was going to be his dump, and the DM asked him whether it would be fine to make it extremely low, since he seemed to be such a 'talented individual.' The guy agreed to make it four, and the DM replied 'Well then, seeing as you had such a low Constitution, you died shortly of an unspecified illness after being born. Do you want to roll another character now?"

I didn't hear what happened after that, but he either grudgingly rolled or rage-quitted.

Those stats should appear some stupidly low percentage of the time, so I can except getting angry if they were legitimately rolled (which I doubt), and the GM could have handled it better, but this character seems to be a super-Roy (who to me has 12-14 in everything except STR and INT, which probably both began at 14-16). The character is just so high in terms of raw talent that I wouldn't allow it in a game (whereas I would allow an array of 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18) unless the other players had also rolled really well.

[MReav]

I've heard of a guy who did his basic stats like this;

Str: 18
Int: 17
Wis: 16
Dex: 18
Cha: 17

Obviously, Constitution was going to be his dump, and the DM asked him whether it would be fine to make it extremely low, since he seemed to be such a 'talented individual.' The guy agreed to make it four, and the DM replied 'Well then, seeing as you had such a low Constitution, you died shortly of an unspecified illness after being born. Do you want to roll another character now?"

I didn't hear what happened after that, but he either grudgingly rolled or rage-quitted.

Unless you have proof that the player fudged his dice, this sounds more like it would be better posted in the worst DMs thread.

Those stats should appear some stupidly low percentage of the time, so I can except getting angry if they were legitimately rolled (which I doubt), and the GM could have handled it better, but this character seems to be a super-Roy (who to me has 12-14 in everything except STR and INT, which probably both began at 14-16). The character is just so high in terms of raw talent that I wouldn't allow it in a game (whereas I would allow an array of 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18) unless the other players had also rolled really well.

Roy strikes me as having dumped his Dex.

[Anonymouswizard]

Unless you have proof that the player fudged his dice, this sounds more like it would be better posted in the worst DMs thread.

Basically agree here. This should have been "please reroll", with letting him keep an 18 as a show of good faith, not "lol, no, your character dead, reroll?"

Roy strikes me as having dumped his Dex.

I could see his dex as being a 10, maybe an 8-9 as a stretch, but Roy strikes me as the guy who rolled 2 good scores, 3 decent scores, and 1 average to above average. Dump stat by comparison.

Elan and V would be the guys with a 17/18, a couple of 14s or 15s, and a lot of about average scores, as a comparison. Unlike them Roy doesn't have natural amazing scores in anything, merely outstanding, but does have a broader base to work from.

[illyahr]

Check the Class and Level Geekery thread in the OotS forum. Roy's dump stat is Charisma, listed as 12+ and next lowest is Dexterity at 13+. They use in-comic evidence and word of Giant to determine the closest 3.5 stats for each character.

[Kalmageddon]

I have two contenders for "worst player", for very different, almost opposite reasons.

One is a PvP fanatic, to the point of making any campaign unplayable.
The jist of it is that he starts of with a character that looks fair enough. Often he comes up with some cool concepts and roleplays them accordingly for a session or two.
Then, inevitably, something snaps inside of him and his characters start becoming more and more brutal and evil.
Like for example, he started off with a paladin once. It was definitly on the strict and stern side of things, but not evil. Then starts the violent interrogation of his enemies. Then he threatens our patrons for more money. Then he flat out murders one when we weren't looking.
And then comes the PvP. Serial killer style.
See, at this point, we are all starting to get fed up with him OOC, so he starts picking us off one by one without any warning or real IC reason. For example, during combat one of us could go down to negative hit points or the equivalent and he would rush over pretending to help and instead coup de grace the character. With the help of a complacent DM none of us have any reason to doubt his character anyway and the spree continues until one of three things happen:
- Some other players, his closest friends IRL, play along and basically become his evil minions. Every other character at this point is offered the chance, OOC I might add, to either submit or be treated as bonus loot for the whole group.
- Everyone starts rolling characters specifically designed to kill his. If they succeed, he comes back with another character that initiates PvP as soon as he's introduced. This goes on until everyone gets tired of it or the campaign becomes unplayable.
- Everyone quits and he insults us or justifies himself with the good old "but I was just doing what my character would do". Campaign ruined.

The other contestant for worst player is a guy that is actually pretty cool IRL. He's a bit strange, but a good person and real fun to hang out with.
However, he's completely unable to understand rules in any RPG. Basically, he doesn't have any ability in mediating his intention with the DM, who finds himself dealing with stuff like:
- During a fight in a forest against some creatures, his character spends the whole combat rolling on the ground, throwing pepper in the air. This was meant to provide cover and/or concealment for himself and his allies.
- Another fight, he's being chased by a some enemy armed with a melee weapon. He runs for one round, then determines that the enemy, who simply ran after him and was therefore in melee again, was impossibile to outrun and spends the rest of the fight running circles around said enemy, without attacking, without attempting any meaningful action. Just run in circle. This was meant to somehow shake him off and allow an escape.
-During a session taking place in a besieged town, he spends the whole session thinking he's in a forest or that somehow there is a forest within reach of a short walk. This forest was pivotal to his plans and he was utterly dismayed to find out that there wasn't a forest, there was never a forest and he was still in a besieged town. After 2 hours.
- During the same session described above, when he finally understands the situation, he decides his priority is to defend his best friends: meaning the random, unnamed NPCs he found in a tavern. While the rest of the group was out fighting off the assailants.
And the list goes on... Basically, this guy is impossibile to handle.

[LibraryOgre]

Unless you have proof that the player fudged his dice, this sounds more like it would be better posted in the worst DMs thread.

This is why you roll in front of the DM, and DMs shouldn't let home-rolled characters fly.

(There's a great panel in Knights of the Dinner Table where BA, the GM, is questioning Bob's exceptional stats. Dave offers his support and says "No way, I saw him roll those stats! He must've rolled 150 characters that night!")

[Solaris]

Basically agree here. This should have been "please reroll", with letting him keep an 18 as a show of good faith, not "lol, no, your character dead, reroll?"

I've seen my brother roll straight 18s with 4d6 drop low. He never played that character, he just did it to prove he could. One of his first characters in AD&D was a paladin with an 18/00 Strength and 18s in all abilities except Intelligence, which was a 15, and Wisdom, which was a 16 (made my fighter with a 17 Str and 18 Con look like a wuss). He just knows how to roll dice and make them land on what he wants.

The only thing that keeps me from joining in on the 'chuck it into the bad DM' pile is the fact that the player didn't have a Constitution score - indicating to me he'd just picked out stats and got lazy about it. That's just stupid. I wouldn't have handled it the way the DM did, though, especially if the character was a fairly low-op design. High stats only break the game if you're a lousy DM, and really stop mattering after about 5th or 6th level.

[Anonymouswizard]

I've seen my brother roll straight 18s with 4d6 drop low. He never played that character, he just did it to prove he could. One of his first characters in AD&D was a paladin with an 18/00 Strength and 18s in all abilities except Intelligence, which was a 15, and Wisdom, which was a 16 (made my fighter with a 17 Str and 18 Con look like a wuss). He just knows how to roll dice and make them land on what he wants.

The only thing that keeps me from joining in on the 'chuck it into the bad DM' pile is the fact that the player didn't have a Constitution score - indicating to me he'd just picked out stats and got lazy about it. That's just stupid. I wouldn't have handled it the way the DM did, though, especially if the character was a fairly low-op design. High stats only break the game if you're a lousy DM, and really stop mattering after about 5th or 6th level.

I've been assuming a home rolled, I myself know how to curve my throw to skew dice, but I personally think the difficulty isn't worth it (I have dyspraxia).

I also tend towards classless systems, so I see stats as more important than they are in D&D.

[VincentTakeda]

What are the odds on that. Even 4d6 drop lowest we're still talking what. One in 1.5 trillion?
Even rolling 2d6+6 is still like one in 2.1 billion.

[Arbane]

I have two contenders for "worst player", for very different, almost opposite reasons.

One is a PvP fanatic, to the point of making any campaign unplayable.
(Snip)
And then comes the PvP. Serial killer style.

I hope fervently that this is not indicative of some real-world issues.
Why would anyone play with this guy twice?

The other contestant for worst player is a guy that is actually pretty cool IRL. He's a bit strange, but a good person and real fun to hang out with.
However, he's completely unable to understand rules in any RPG. Basically, he doesn't have any ability in mediating his intention with the DM, who finds himself dealing with stuff like:

This guy OTOH, sounds easy to handle: Just assume he'll be completely useless and plan accordingly.

[Kalmageddon]

I hope fervently that this is not indicative of some real-world issues.
Why would anyone play with this guy twice?

It... uhm... It sort of was.
He didn't kill anybody, mind you. He just had some HUGE issues that made him treat everybody like crap just to feel important, which is why we stopped playing with him. And the reason we played with him in the frist place was that, as mentioned, the DM was incredibly pleased with this guy and LOVED all the PvP going on, mainly because it allowed him to not come up with anything for the session. Oh, as a bonus, the DM was also a sex offender.
... I'm having one of those moments where I wonder how desperate I was for a D&D game at the time. Although to be fair I didn't put up with them on a regualr basis, I was mostly a guest player when other friends went and played with these two.

This guy OTOH, sounds easy to handle: Just assume he'll be completely useless and plan accordingly.

Well, that's not very fun for anyone, isn't it? Beside, he got frustrated as well in seeing how useless he was. In his mind, everything made perfect sense. He wanted for his plans to succeed, the problem is that this simply wasn't possibile, seeing how half the times we had no idea what he was trying to do.

[Feddlefew]

Oh, as a bonus, the DM was also a sex offender.

I choked on my drink. That's just, uh... wow...

[Zyzzyva]

It... uhm... It sort of was.
Oh, as a bonus, the DM was also a sex offender.

That's its own "Worst DM Ever" thread post all by itself right there.

[Ravian]

This guy OTOH, sounds easy to handle: Just assume he'll be completely useless and plan accordingly.

Yeah but I can understand the issue. I understand that some people have more interest in the social event than the game itself, but it does get annoying when you get some who slows the game down due to inability to understand the basic rules.

I had a couple of players like this, both are pretty fun to hang out with but didn't really get the rules of the games. The difference however is that one of them, as unable as he was, at least made a very great effort to contribute anyway, even if he did need help with it. (He actually told me, after five years since I introduced him to the hobby, that he finally understood the basic mechanic of "roll dice, add numbers" It was a little pathetic, I'll admit (particularly since we'd been playing nearly the same campaign throughout that entire period) but I never had a serious complaint against him during that full five-year period because he was probably one of my most enthusiastic players and was still a valuable member of the team with a little help from the DM and the other players.)

The other player, who deserves place on this list, made little to no effort to contribute to the game itself, was far more interested in off-topic conversation, and actually told me as the GM to go ahead and take his turns for him. That's the kind of player I dislike, when the effort isn't even given.

[Kalmageddon]

That's its own "Worst DM Ever" thread post all by itself right there.

Oh, trust me, I have a LONG list of entries for both this and the Worst DM threads, the problem is that most of them would be inappropriate for this forum, seeing how

Spoiler: Probably TMI

Show

rape, necrophilia

and the... "political bieliefs" of the candidates play a major part in them.

[Mr Beer]

Spoiler: probably tmi

Show

rape, necrophilia

wtf!!!!!!!

EDIT

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't go to this guy's house and if I did...I'm not taking any food or drink he prepared.

EDIT2

You win the worst GM thread BTW.

[nedz]

What are the odds on that. Even 4d6 drop lowest we're still talking what. One in 1.5 trillion?
Even rolling 2d6+6 is still like one in 2.1 billion.

Your mistake is in assuming that Dice are random. Now rolled properly they are, more or less, but there is a technique whereby you can get 6s almost all of the time. It's all in the wrist.

and the... "political bieliefs" of the candidates play a major part in them.

I once saw someone play a conservative barbarian It was slightly tongue in cheek, but not entirely.