LGBTAitp #36: May Contain Bites!

[Lea Plath]

Actually, we lied. It always contains bites!

So hello everyone! This is the thirty-sixth itteration LGBTAitP thread! The thread is to support, celebrate and discuss anything that falls outside the bounds of what is heterocisnormative. It is first of all a support thread, and then an education thread. If you want answers about some of the more difficult and trigger inducing aspects of LGBTA, there are a number of people listed below who can answer questions.

Please note that although the title of the thread names only the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Asexual communities, it is intended as an all inclusive environment. Everyone is welcome. L, G, B,T, A, Q, I, A, N, V, P, R, Q, Ω, ♅, everyone. As long as they behave themselves.

If you have a question or two about LGBTA+, you can ask it here! You can ask for advice and support in here.

In addition, many members are willing to give private advice one on one, either through email or PM. The best way to do this is asking for PM help in thread, or else to PM one of the following people:

Name: Especially familiar with the topic(s) of
KenderWizard: General/basics, gender and feminism, bisexuality
Musashi: General/basics, asexuality/demisexuality, depression
noparlpf: General/basics, asexuality, greysexuality, biology, Skype
Lea Plath: Genderfluidity
Lycunadari: Genderqueer and agendered
Eldest: General/basics, bisexuality, will Skype(voice if needed, no video)
Karen Lynn: General/basics, pansexuality, polyamory, will Skype(no voice or video, however)
HMS Sophia: Trans stuff (esp hormones)
Lix Lorn: General/basics
Tanail: Trans stuff (esp emotional issues), Skype(no voice or video, however)
Absol197: Gender identity issues
Warkitty: Academic/technical discussions
Lentrax: General/basics, depression, bullying
Wormwood74: Transgender legal issues, transgender outside contacts
Astrella: GSRM rights, feminism, trans stuff, Skype
Asteron Questar: Relationships, depression
Mystic Muse: Skype-y goodness.
Socratov: Skype-ness
Chess435: Skype

Some people are also willing to talk off-board, through Skype or email or other means, this is especially useful if your question involves board-forbidden topics such as religion or politics. Also, we can't (and ethically shouldn't!) give medical advice. If you need medical advice, please see a professional!


Here are the rules of this thread!


Everyone is welcome. Let's try to keep from seeming otherwise.
Keep this topic free of politics and religion. (so, don't violate the board rules, plz)
It's beyond the scope of this thread to discuss whether LGBT is "Right." (And really, most discussions probably should avoid moralizing too much anyway)
Please refrain from posting sexually explicit content. (Keep it friendly as well as board safe :smallsmile:)


Here are the links for the previous threads, where much of use or interest may be found:
LGBT people in the playground (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=62225)

LGBT people in the playground - part II (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=86066)

LGBTitp - part III (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=5663140#post5663140)

LGBTitp 4: We are a family? (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=129235)

LGBTitp - Part Five (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=143424)

LGBTitp - Part Six (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=147832)

LGBTitp - Part Seven (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=157312)

LGBTitp - Part Eight (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=167395)

LGBTitp - Part Nine (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=172747)

LGBTAitp - Part Ten (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=177253)

LGBTAitp - Part Eleven (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=181683)

LGBTAitp - Part Twelve (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=10335967#)

LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=192714)

LGBTAitp - Part Fourteen (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=200329)

LGBTAitp - Part Fifteen (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=207987)

LGBTAitp - Part Sixteen (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=11820872#)

LGBTAitp - Part Seventeen (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=219966)

LGBTAitp - Part Eighteen! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=223792)

LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=227182)

LGBTAitp - Part Twenty - Critical Hit! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=12613347)

LGBTAitp - Part Twenty-One - BLACKJACK! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=233833)

LGBTAitP Part 22: The Best There Is (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=236828)

LGBTAitP Part 23: Et tu, ~Bianca? (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=239610)

LGBTAitP: Alphabet Soup-with 24 different Vitamins! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=13243754)

LGBTAitP part 25: Doing Away With Subtitles (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=249030)

LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=253352)

LGBTAitP 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=256951)

LGBTAitP #28: Come Taste the Rainbow! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=14110484#post14110484)

LGBTAitP #29: The Rainbow Outreach Program (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=262926)

LGBTAitP 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within) (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=267638)

LGBTAitP #31: Cuddles Are On Back Order. Have Some Snuggles! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=272099)

LGBTAitp #32: The Great Plushie Invasion! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=275839)

LGBTAitp #33: The Thread at the End of the Rainbow! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=278799)

LGTAitP 34: <3!! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=281021)

What Midlife Crisis? :3 (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=284121)


And, for reference, here is the Thousand&Wordster Dictionary of Commonly Used LGBTAitp Words and Phrases

Lagerbeta: A fine brewski to be drunk by queers and allies.
LGBT: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans*
Trans*: Transsexual and Transgender
LGBTA: LGBT+Asexual/Allies
QUILTBAG: Q - Queer and Questioning
U - Unidentified
I - Intersex
L - Lesbian
T - Transgender, Transexual
B - Bisexual
A - Asexual
G - Gay, Genderqueer
Allies: Straight people that support equality for sexuality and gender minorities.
MtF: Male-to-Female: A woman born with male nibblies, who may or may not be seeking HRT and/or SRS. (AKA: trans woman)
FtM: Female-to-Male: A man born with female nibblies, who may or may not be seeking HRT and/or SRS. (AKA: trans man)
GQ: Genderqueer.
CS: Cis-sexual: sex and gender match (a male with male nibblies, a female with female nibblies.
TS: Transsexual: Sex and gender disparity.
HRT: Hormone replacement therapy. MtF's take more progestrogens and oestrogens and FtM's take more testosterone (I think?)
SRS: Sex Reassignment Surgery: Surgery to replace/transform a vagina into a penis, or vice versa depending on direction. Mastectomies or plastic surgery may be used on breasts.
FFS: Facial Feminization Surgery: Plastic surgery to reduce chin/nose/cheekbones. not very common.
AFAB/AMAB: Assigned Female/Male at Birth
FAAB/MAAB: Female/Male Assigned at Birth.


Man: A cisman or transman. Male.
Woman: A ciswoman or transwoman. Female.
Androgyne: Gender Identity with male and female aspects.
Genderfluid: Someone who fluctuates between male and female.
Agendered: Someone who feels neither male nor female.
Third-gendered: Someone who fits in a local society's third gender, usually male performing female tasks, occasionally vice versa.
Masculine: Something generally associated with men.
Feminine: Something generally associated with women.

Lesbian: A woman who is attracted to women.
Gay: A man who is attracted to men.
Homosexual: A person who is attracted to members of their gender.
Heterosexual: A person who is attracted to members of the opposite gender.
Bisexual: A person who is attracted to two genders (usually men and women, sometimes transgender instead of one of those).
Pansexual: A person who is attracted to people regardless of gender.
Asexual: A person who does not feel any/some sexual attraction.
Demisexual: A person who is sexually attracted to someone(s) they have formed an intense emotional relationship with.
Polyamorous: A person who is interested in a relationship with more than one person.
Radosexual: A person who is only attracted to rad people.
Pomosexual: A person who avoids SO labels.

Sexual Orientation: How one identifies who they are attracted to. (SO)
Gender Identity: How one feels inside society's idea of "man, woman, or other". (GI)
Gender Expression: How one expresses their GI to society. (GE)
Significant Other(s): Person you are in a relationship with. (SO)


Webcomics that touch on... Well, everything related to the thread.

Venus Envy. (http://www.venusenvycomic.com/) Long dead webcomic. The creator has chosen not to continue it and move forward in life.
Rain. (http://rain.thecomicseries.com/comics/first/) A story of a MtF girl in high school.
Khaos Komix. (http://www.khaoskomix.com/)As the creator puts it(from his site): "A complete GLBTWTFBBQ comic about gender and sexuality. (Trigger warnings for EVERYTHING and nothing is safe for work.)"
Always Raining Here. (http://alwaysraininghere.com/index.php/first-page/) "Adrian is heartsick, Carter is horny. This is a story about their misadventures as awkward teenagers as they fumble through unrequited romances."
Tripping over you. (http://trippingoveryou.com/comic/gmorning-sunshine/)An awkward blind date leads to better options.
Questionable Content. (http://www.questionablecontent.net/) The LGBTA characters are well done, and not stereotypes.
What's normal anyway. (http://whatsnormalanyway.net/?p=93) An FtM webcomic. Seems decent so far.

I know I missed a few webcomics, and if anyone finds more, feel free to PM them to me with a brief description, and I will add them.

[Jormengand]

Hurrah for new threads. *Bites.*

[noparlpf]

And I will agree, this thread can feel quite cliqueish. This is something we need to address. Injokes like the biting thing and all the flirty is fun for us, but it can make other people feel like outsiders and that isn't something we want to encourage. I will also say there might be a bit of a hierarchy as well, which can sometimes discourage discussion.

However, we are a support thread mainly and we need to get a balance.

How do you mean, a hierarchy?

[Lea Plath]

How do you mean, a hierarchy?

Certain people are more popular than others and can shut down discussion if they wish. On purpose or by accident.

[Philemonite]

Certain people are more popular than others and can shut down discussion if they wish. On purpose or by accident.

And some people cause them by accident.

*looks sheepish*

[noparlpf]

Certain people are more popular than others and can shut down discussion if they wish. On purpose or by accident.

Huh. I haven't noticed. I have also been trying to avoid the arguments lately.

[Philemonite]

Huh. I haven't noticed. I have also been trying to avoid the arguments lately.

I have been actively trying to stop them, I hope you guys noticed my efforts.:smalltongue:

Also, Lea, please add a vent list (and put my name on it).

[Kindablue]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that was funny :smallsmile:
If it were socially acceptable I would tell scat jokes all the time every day.

[Eirala]

Out of the last thread:

In my opinion, it makes the thread feel more like a clique. One that I'm excluded from.
I have to say i felt excluded at first too and i still don't feel quite like "part of the family" yet, but that may also be due to me not posting too much ^^
Anyway, new thread :3 *calls for Lea* Feel free to bite as often as you want
and where you want

[Partysan]

Certain people are more popular than others and can shut down discussion if they wish. On purpose or by accident.

This is interesting, because I haven't noticed it that way, although I'd consider myself rather low in any theoretical thread hierarchy. There are some exceptionally popular posters, I agree, but I never thought of them as hierarchically higher.
I'm not saying what you wrote is invalid or untrue, only that I didn't perceive it the same way.

By the way, please add me in the top post: I can help with the issues of polyamory and pansexuality (which right now Karen is alone with), I can address BDSM but am unsure if you want to include that as it's not an LGBT issue (nor is polyamory though) and I am willing to listen to rants and venting as I'm rather unsusceptible to most triggers. Also, I'll skype.

[Lentrax]

Reported from last thread, just in case:
I think of myself as both genders. Not really trans, but not just singled gendered either.

Anyway, Lentrax's World Famous Nachos:

Things you need:
Tortilla chips
Taco meat
Cheese (I use a blend of Cheddar, Monterey Jack, Pepper Jack, and Poblano)
Sour Cream
Jalapeño peppers
Salsa
Olives

1. Microwave a small amount of leftover taco meat (Fresh is better, but with three kids I can't always have it.)
2. Place layer of tortilla chips on a plate. Spoon a handful of meat on top of the chips. Cover with cheese and jalapeños.
3. Add more chips. Add remainder of meat, cheese, and peppers.
4. Microwave for 1 minute.
5. Add sour cream, salsa, and olives.
6.Eat.

[Eldest]

By the way, please add me in the top post: I can help with the issues of polyamory and pansexuality (which right now Karen is alone with), I can address BDSM but am unsure if you want to include that as it's not an LGBT issue (nor is polyamory though) and I am willing to listen to rants and venting as I'm rather unsusceptible to most triggers. Also, I'll skype.

Oh, good point. Probably add pansexuality to me as well. And I can talk about polyamory, but not an expert on that.

Re: clique: I felt a bit like that when I started, to the point where I was just asking for information occasionally and then started to research stuff for other people, and then the research turned into just being a part of the thread. So yes, I guess that when you first post, it's going to look daunting. I'd hope that after a short time, though, you feel accepted, especially with how much we focus on welcoming new people.
And I do try to explain at least some of the injokes when people join. Anybody who's joined and payed attention, did it help?

[Lix Lorn]

Hey guys. I return after a long absence. HUGS TO EVERYONE!
OMIGOSH GOLLY (TACKLEGLOMP)
I was just thinking yesterday I missed you. ^^


Second: Lix, the only way that joke could be funnier would be to use science references: Those clothes would look even better hitting the floor at 9 m/s^2 :smallamused::smallcool:
...nine point eight. :smalltongue:


Also, I am going to need you all to go ahead, and uh, slow down this thread train while I am asleep. Yeah, that'd be greaaaat, mk? Thanks! :smalltongue:

~Matthew~
(laughter)

[Silverrida]

...nine point eight. :smalltongue:


9.7903 or 9.81*

>.>

<.<

Also hi everyone. Not a part of the LGBTA community myself, but support the community in general. I like that this is basically the first thread I saw and there are 36 of them :)

[SiuiS]

This is te first time I've ever accidentally grabbed multitudes from multiple other threads before...


In my opinion, it makes the thread feel more like a clique. One that I'm excluded from.

Sorry, luv :smallfrown:


Psst. This thread is totally legit and bite free. I promise :3 http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=15375113#post15375113

And I will agree, this thread can feel quite cliqueish. This is something we need to address. Injokes like the biting thing and all the flirty is fun for us, but it can make other people feel like outsiders and that isn't something we want to encourage. I will also say there might be a bit of a hierarchy as well, which can sometimes discourage discussion.

However, we are a support thread mainly and we need to get a balance.

Aye. It is hard to fix though, especially since we cannot actually fix it, or even really call it a problem. C'est la vie.


If it were socially acceptable I would tell scat jokes all the time every day.

Everything in moderation, sweetie.


This is interesting, because I haven't noticed it that way, although I'd consider myself rather low in any theoretical thread hierarchy. There are some exceptionally popular posters, I agree, but I never thought of them as hierarchically higher.
I'm not saying what you wrote is invalid or untrue, only that I didn't perceive it the same way.

I have. It's a mix of topic and tenure. Certain posters are considered authority on certain topics, etc.


By the way, please add me in the top post: I can help with the issues of polyamory and pansexuality (which right now Karen is alone with), I can address BDSM but am unsure if you want to include that as it's not an LGBT issue (nor is polyamory though) and I am willing to listen to rants and venting as I'm rather unsusceptible to most triggers. Also, I'll skype.

I think having a link for a thread related BDSM discussion is asking for moderator intervention, myself. If it will come up at all, it will do so naturally off-forum, through Skype et al.

[noparlpf]

...nine point eight. :smalltongue:

Around me it's actually closer to ~22m/s² UP. Ah, Physics labs...

[Jormengand]

9.7903 or 9.81*

>.>

<.<

Also hi everyone. Not a part of the LGBTA community myself, but support the community in general. I like that this is basically the first thread I saw and there are 36 of them :)

*Digs into alphabet soup and brings out an A for ally.*

You count as one of us.

Also, I hate reference to the LGB(T)(A)(whatever) "community" because the fact remains that it's not really a community.

[Eldest]

9.7903 or 9.81*

>.>

<.<

Also hi everyone. Not a part of the LGBTA community myself, but support the community in general. I like that this is basically the first thread I saw and there are 36 of them :)

Hiya! Welcome. No problem with being here and being straight, we have a few people floating around that are allies, and I thought I was for a while.
Anyway, important things. Cake's over there, hugs are all around, and there might be biting. Just in case you didn't know from the thread name.

[Partysan]

I have. It's a mix of topic and tenure. Certain posters are considered authority on certain topics, etc.
I guess that might be true. Question is whether it's undeserved.


I think having a link for a thread related BDSM discussion is asking for moderator intervention, myself. If it will come up at all, it will do so naturally off-forum, through Skype et al.
Well, the discussion itself would naturally be off forum, it would just mean people know whom they can ask about it.

Re: clique
For me it was opposite to what others have said. The close-knit community combined with people freely and sometimes silly joking, flirting and biting made me think: "these people are open, affectionate and lovably crazy, they will surely accept me for who I am and digitally hug me." And so it was.

[mistformsquirrl]

That's what happened with me too Partysan < . .>; I mean, I was scared out of my wits bringing up transgender stuff in a public space; but after a brief introduction people have been so incredibly friendly and nice to me I feel like I belong here <._.>/ And I'm terribly shy I will add, so that's saying something.

Obviously YMMV on that point, but that's how it's worked out for me < . .>

[Silverrida]

*Digs into alphabet soup and brings out an A for ally.*

You count as one of us.

Also, I hate reference to the LGB(T)(A)(whatever) "community" because the fact remains that it's not really a community.

Haha, I actually assumed the A stood for asexual, but ally is fine too!

And it depends on what you define as a community. There are LGBTA meetups and support groups and activist groups throughout the USA at the very least. Is this a community? I feel like it could be argued both ways, personally.


Hiya! Welcome. No problem with being here and being straight, we have a few people floating around that are allies, and I thought I was for a while.
Anyway, important things. Cake's over there, hugs are all around, and there might be biting. Just in case you didn't know from the thread name.

Thanks for pointing out the cake, but I'ma wait till everyone else has some!

Hugs are the greatest, so that's fine.

Biting not so much. I shall avoid it >.>

Thanks for the welcome guys/gals

[TheCountAlucard]

Yay for biting! (noms)

[Kindablue]

Everything in moderation, sweetie.
All the time. Every day. >:l

[noparlpf]

Haha, I actually assumed the A stood for asexual, but ally is fine too!

Hey there.
Yeah, it really depends. Most people use it to mean "Ally", but it can be either or preferably both. I've hardly ever actually seen it used to mean "Asexual" offline, which is a bit disappointing to me.

Edit:

All the time. Every day. >:l

You have to intersperse them with butt jokes and fart jokes.

[golentan]

I don't want to make anyone feel excluded, but I like the injokes and banter conversations. :smallfrown:

Hmm, topics I feel comfortable talking about to concerned individuals... Fluid sexual orientation, for one. Also, psychosis and depression. A lot of gender and sexuality stuff gets harder to cope with when in the grip of mental illness (particularly bullying related stuff), and I've dealt with psychosis since I hit puberty and depression for at least half a dozen years. If anyone is having problems along those lines, I'd be happy to share what experience I've gleaned.

[Jormengand]

Haha, I actually assumed the A stood for asexual, but ally is fine too!

And it depends on what you define as a community. There are LGBTA meetups and support groups and activist groups throughout the USA at the very least. Is this a community? I feel like it could be argued both ways, personally.s

It does both: in the long version there're at least two "A"s.

Well, LGB etc.ness doesn't automatically make you part of a community. There are LGB communities, there is not "The LGB Community."

[Philemonite]

Thanks for pointing out the cake, but I'ma wait till everyone else has some!

Hugs are the greatest, so that's fine.

Biting not so much. I shall avoid it >.>

Thanks for the welcome guys/gals

But Lea bites out of love.:smalltongue:

Anyway, big welcome from me and a hug if you need/want one.


For me it was opposite to what others have said. The close-knit community combined with people freely and sometimes silly joking, flirting and biting made me think: "these people are open, affectionate and lovably crazy, they will surely accept me for who I am and digitally hug me." And so it was.

I came here for advice, stayed for the company.:smallbiggrin:

*Digital hug*

[SiuiS]

I guess that might be true. Question is whether it's undeserved.

I am a fractured being, capable of holding multiple and exclusive viewpoints in harmony. I am not the one to ask; my espoused opinion fluctuates with my humors.



Well, the discussion itself would naturally be off forum, it would just mean people know whom they can ask about it.

It is important to note that PMs are not "off-site". You won't get caught unless someone reports you, but I find the idea of breaking an agreement because i know I won't get caught repugnant in extremis.

[Partysan]

I am a fractured being, capable of holding multiple and exclusive viewpoints in harmony. I am not the one to ask; my espoused opinion fluctuates with my humors.
Most fascinating.

It is important to note that PMs are not "off-site". You won't get caught unless someone reports you, but I find the idea of breaking an agreement because i know I won't get caught repugnant in extremis.
Which is why I offered to skype. Which is decidedly off-site.

[Lentrax]

Haha, I actually assumed the A stood for asexual, but ally is fine too!

And it depends on what you define as a community. There are LGBTA meetups and support groups and activist groups throughout the USA at the very least. Is this a community? I feel like it could be argued both ways, personally.



Thanks for pointing out the cake, but I'ma wait till everyone else has some!

Hugs are the greatest, so that's fine.

Biting not so much. I shall avoid it >.>

Thanks for the welcome guys/gals

There is plenty of cake for everyone! I will even bake you one to your taste!

Have cake, and be happy!

Oh and as for biting, Lea does it to everyone. It's not too bad, especially if you're into it...:smallredface:

Now, where did that Scion of mine go...

[Silverrida]

Hey there.
Yeah, it really depends. Most people use it to mean "Ally", but it can be either or preferably both. I've hardly ever actually seen it used to mean "Asexual" offline, which is a bit disappointing to me.


It's less "mainstream" than the simple, known LGBT. I'd like for all sexualities to be acknowledged at once, but I suppose we need to take small steps.



It does both: in the long version there're at least two "A"s.

Well, LGB etc.ness doesn't automatically make you part of a community. There are LGB communities, there is not "The LGB Community."

Ahh, I guess I've never really used it that way? I mean, I'm personally not LGBTA or anything, so I wouldn't actually be a part of the LGB community if the requirement to be in was that you identified as that sexual orientation.

I tend to recognize the LGB community as the collection of individuals who choose to be in it, not just all people who identify as LGB.


But Lea bites out of love.:smalltongue:

Anyway, big welcome from me and a hug if you need/want one.



Fortunately I don't at the moment! But I like them anyway. However, I'll save it for when I need it, probably tonight xD

*Saves hugs*


There is plenty of cake for everyone! I will even bake you one to your taste!

Have cake, and be happy!

Oh and as for biting, Lea does it to everyone. It's not too bad, especially if you're into it...:smallredface:

Now, where did that Scion of mine go...

Fine, then I shall take cake. Even if it'll make me fat ;~;

*Takes and noms cake*

No promises on the happy part xD

Also, I wouldn't know if I like biting :p

[Kindablue]

I am a fractured being, capable of holding multiple and exclusive viewpoints in harmony. I am not the one to ask; my espoused opinion fluctuates with my humors.
I am large, I contain multitudes. (http://www.english.illinois.edu/maps/poets/s_z/whitman/song.htm)

Hey there.
Yeah, it really depends. Most people use it to mean "Ally", but it can be either or preferably both. I've hardly ever actually seen it used to mean "Asexual" offline, which is a bit disappointing to me.
I'm not into BDSM, but I always really liked how the inner letters have dual meanings, one for the outer letters and one for each other. It's a very elegant acronym.

[noparlpf]

It's less "mainstream" than the simple, known LGBT. I'd like for all sexualities to be acknowledged at once, but I suppose we need to take small steps.

Yeah. I'll typically say "LGBTA+". A common one is "LGBTQ", and rarely you see "LGBTQA" or "LGBTQAIAP" or even worse ones. Some people have decided to use "GSM" or "GSRM" for "Gender, Sexuality(, and Romantic) Minorities" as a shorter umbrella.

Edit:

I'm not into BDSM, but I always really liked how the inner letters have dual meanings, one for the outer letters and one for each other. It's a very elegant acronym.

Ditto. It's quite clever.
(I'm generally kind of submissive, but that's more a personality trait than a sex thing because I don't do sex.)

[MuffinPuffin]

@cliques

For the record, I love the fact that the thread is like a group of friends sitting around and talking. Although it may feel bad interupting on the conversation, the way as soon as an actual topic is brought up and EVERYONE jumps on it makes you feel as if everyone suddenly hugged you. Makes for a fast livley thread.

Now onto my second post that I meant to post yesterday. Transexuality.I have a feeling this will be long.

SO a while ago, I was having my usual depressed-for-a-week month and thought that I was done, and just really needed to start over. Fix past wrongs and such. At this moment a little voice popped into my head that said "hey, wouldn't it be cool if you were a girl too?" and i couldn't stop thinking of it since. Whenever I end a day, or a moment, or even a conversation I think "what would of that been like if i were a girl?"be it parties, or classes, or public displays of affection with my girlfriend, or not-so-public-(actually-private)-displays?

I have, for a while now, liked cross-dressing, dressing in a dress in drama, playing female characters in plays/improve skits. I also feel very feminine normally, and think my cuddly, flirtatious, bubbly disposition would be better received if I were a girl. (Yeah, i think i would be MORE accepted as a "lesbian"... I know...

So what does this say to you guys? Does that sound transsexual*? Curiosity on how life could-of-been? Should I just go with being a feminine man?

*btw, i don't know if im using the right words for this kinda stuff, alert me if i need to change anything, this stuff is complicated.

Yup, that was long

[Mina Kobold]

*Snuggles thread*

Mmmmh, ow! Bites! O_O


9.7903 or 9.81*

>.>

<.<

Also hi everyone. Not a part of the LGBTA community myself, but support the community in general. I like that this is basically the first thread I saw and there are 36 of them :)

9.82 in Denmark. Hurray for a funny-shaped planet. :3

Hiya, welcome to the thread. Hopefully the mixture of silliness, banter, support and advice will be a fun experience for you. :smallsmile:

Everyone, Ally or LGBTA+ is welcome. The thread is about support and advice, not exclusion. ^_^


Haha, I actually assumed the A stood for asexual, but ally is fine too!

That was the reason it was added to these threads' title, but as the the OP says; everybody, no matter what their label is, is welcome! That includes other As. :smallsmile:


And it depends on what you define as a community. There are LGBTA meetups and support groups and activist groups throughout the USA at the very least. Is this a community? I feel like it could be argued both ways, personally.

It's been said, but there is indeed a number of LGBTA communities, but LGBTA+ in itself is not a community. It is a bit like how there can be a chess club/drama club/book club/superhero club at a school, but that does not make chess/drama/book-reading/superheroics themselves a club or community. :smallsmile:

[The Rose Dragon]

I still feel like the A in the title serves more to exclude than to include. But that's just me, and because I can't easily define what I am.

[noparlpf]

@cliques

For the record, I love the fact that the thread is like a group of friends sitting around and talking. Although it may feel bad interupting on the conversation, the way as soon as an actual topic is brought up and EVERYONE jumps on it makes you feel as if everyone suddenly hugged you. Makes for a fast livley thread.

Now onto my second post that I meant to post yesterday. Transexuality.I have a feeling this will be long.

SO a while ago, I was having my usual depressed-for-a-week month and thought that I was done, and just really needed to start over. Fix past wrongs and such. At this moment a little voice popped into my head that said "hey, wouldn't it be cool if you were a girl too?" and i couldn't stop thinking of it since. Whenever I end a day, or a moment, or even a conversation I think "what would of that been like if i were a girl?"be it parties, or classes, or public displays of affection with my girlfriend, or not-so-public-(actually-private)-displays?

I have, for a while now, liked cross-dressing, dressing in a dress in drama, playing female characters in plays/improve skits. I also feel very feminine normally, and think my cuddly, flirtatious, bubbly disposition would be better received if I were a girl. (Yeah, i think i would be MORE accepted as a "lesbian"... I know...

So what does this say to you guys? Does that sound transsexual*? Curiosity on how life could-of-been? Should I just go with being a feminine man?

*btw, i don't know if im using the right words for this kinda stuff, alert me if i need to change anything, this stuff is complicated.

Yup, that was long

Yeah, "transsexual" is right, though "transgender" is a common alternative. I tend to use "transsexual" when I bother typing out more than "trans" (note that many here type "trans*" where the asterisk includes various groups, but that makes me think there will be a footnote, so I don't like it), although I'm trying to switch to "transgender" because "transsexual" used the "sexual" ending that usually goes on words dealing with sexuality. Use whatever works.
Anyway, it seems like generally if you think to question your gender, especially over a longer period, there's probably something to it. Whether you decide it's transsexuality, genderfluidity, or some form of genderqueer or third-gender or other, depends on your own introspection.

[MuffinPuffin]

I still feel like the A in the title serves more to exclude than to include. But that's just me, and because I can't easily define what I am.
At first I thought "A" standed for "Anything".

Also, this is getting silly, I need an avatar...

[Lentrax]

@cliques

For the record, I love the fact that the thread is like a group of friends sitting around and talking. Although it may feel bad interupting on the conversation, the way as soon as an actual topic is brought up and EVERYONE jumps on it makes you feel as if everyone suddenly hugged you. Makes for a fast livley thread.

Now onto my second post that I meant to post yesterday. Transexuality.I have a feeling this will be long.

SO a while ago, I was having my usual depressed-for-a-week month and thought that I was done, and just really needed to start over. Fix past wrongs and such. At this moment a little voice popped into my head that said "hey, wouldn't it be cool if you were a girl too?" and i couldn't stop thinking of it since. Whenever I end a day, or a moment, or even a conversation I think "what would of that been like if i were a girl?"be it parties, or classes, or public displays of affection with my girlfriend, or not-so-public-(actually-private)-displays?

I have, for a while now, liked cross-dressing, dressing in a dress in drama, playing female characters in plays/improve skits. I also feel very feminine normally, and think my cuddly, flirtatious, bubbly disposition would be better received if I were a girl. (Yeah, i think i would be MORE accepted as a "lesbian"... I know...

So what does this say to you guys? Does that sound transsexual*? Curiosity on how life could-of-been? Should I just go with being a feminine man?

*btw, i don't know if im using the right words for this kinda stuff, alert me if i need to change anything, this stuff is complicated.

Yup, that was long

That's the kind of thing that is worth considering, I would probably go on a self discovery quest, a find your inner self thing.

But in the end, though I decided I was better as a male, I still enjoy celebrating my femininity in other ways. I still shave, I do my nails on a regular basis.

I still have a small wardrobe of my own, but I have grown way too fat for any of it.

Anyway. My point is, you may be, but I don't have the answer for you. On,y you do.

But I will help any way I...

I made it worse, didn't I?

[Silverrida]

Yeah. I'll typically say "LGBTA+". A common one is "LGBTQ", and rarely you see "LGBTQA" or "LGBTQAIAP" or even worse ones. Some people have decided to use "GSM" or "GSRM" for "Gender, Sexuality(, and Romantic) Minorities" as a shorter umbrella.



I think the idea behind the "Q" is "And all others" which kind of works but some people may find offensive? I don't really know. It all seems like semantics to me. Most people identifying themselves with the group probably aren't trying to be offensive.


*Snuggles thread*

9.82 in Denmark. Hurray for a funny-shaped planet. :3

Hiya, welcome to the thread. Hopefully the mixture of silliness, banter, support and advice will be a fun experience for you. :smallsmile:

Everyone, Ally or LGBTA+ is welcome. The thread is about support and advice, not exclusion. ^_^

That was the reason it was added to these threads' title, but as the the OP says; everybody, no matter what their label is, is welcome! That includes other As. :smallsmile:


It's been said, but there is indeed a number of LGBTA communities, but LGBTA+ in itself is not a community. It is a bit like how there can be a chess club/drama club/book club/superhero club at a school, but that does not make chess/drama/book-reading/superheroics themselves a club or community. :smallsmile:

Sounds good to me. I'm just gonna chill for a bit.

Also, I agree with your definition, but I never really intended to include all people who identify as LGBTQA+ as part of the community as much as I was referring to the actual existing community of people who identify themselves as part of it.

[MuffinPuffin]

Yeah, "transsexual" is right, though "transgender" is a common alternative. I tend to use "transsexual" when I bother typing out more than "trans" (note that many here type "trans*" where the asterisk includes various groups, but that makes me think there will be a footnote, so I don't like it), although I'm trying to switch to "transgender" because "transsexual" used the "sexual" ending that usually goes on words dealing with sexuality. Use whatever works.
Anyway, it seems like generally if you think to question your gender, especially over a longer period, there's probably something to it. Whether you decide it's transsexuality, genderfluidity, or some form of genderqueer or third-gender or other, depends on your own introspection.
I feel like I would be more female than male. The only advantages of a y chromosome would be:
1.Being able to be the Doctor if i suddenly gain superhuman acting capabilities
2.Easier family life

While a x chromosome would be:
1: Skirts! dresses! Pretty clothes!
2. Flirty! Bubbly! Cuddley!
3. Female body parts.
4. Being able to be more sensitive (I'll stop the list now, i'm starting to feel sexist... to both sexes/genders...)

Note that I have no idea how I will live later in life, either trans or cis-male. I havn't thought that far in either direction, all of my longing is past or present.


That's the kind of thing that is worth considering, I would probably go on a self discovery quest, a find your inner self thing.

But in the end, though I decided I was better as a male, I still enjoy celebrating my femininity in other ways. I still shave, I do my nails on a regular basis.

I still have a small wardrobe of my own, but I have grown way too fat for any of it.

Anyway. My point is, you may be, but I don't have the answer for you. On,y you do.

But I will help any way I...

I made it worse, didn't I?
Not really... though how does one find ones inner-self/discoveryquest?

[Lentrax]

Oh man, I wish remembered the exact words I used in a thread a while back about all of us...

The gist of it was that we are all allies. Even if we have been a part of the community for years, just getting involved, just learning about who you are.

We are all one community, because we are all one people. And we all deserve our happiness.

[Irish Musician]

Reported from last thread, just in case:
I think of myself as both genders. Not really trans, but not just singled gendered either.

Anyway, Lentrax's World Famous Nachos:

Things you need:
Tortilla chips
Taco meat
Cheese (I use a blend of Cheddar, Monterey Jack, Pepper Jack, and Poblano)
Sour Cream
Jalapeño peppers
Salsa
Olives

1. Microwave a small amount of leftover taco meat (Fresh is better, but with three kids I can't always have it.)
2. Place layer of tortilla chips on a plate. Spoon a handful of meat on top of the chips. Cover with cheese and jalapeños.
3. Add more chips. Add remainder of meat, cheese, and peppers.
4. Microwave for 1 minute.
5. Add sour cream, salsa, and olives.
6.Eat.
86 the Olives and that sounds WONDERFUL! But only because I think olvies taste like feet :smallwink:

Also hi everyone. Not a part of the LGBTA community myself, but support the community in general. I like that this is basically the first thread I saw and there are 36 of them :)
WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am an ally as well, straight cis man here. So I do what I can to support the people who need it/want it. Don't know how much good I actually do, but I am here none-the-less for those that need someone to yell at :smallsmile:

I still feel like the A in the title serves more to exclude than to include. But that's just me, and because I can't easily define what I am.
I have always seen the "A" as "anything" as well, not just Asexual or Allies, but anyone else that might be different in their gender/sexuality. Note: Different, not bad :smallsmile:

@Muffin - I will let other help with the second part of your needs. I cannot give much advise in the Trans regard, so I will just give hugz and cookies instead :smallamused:

~Matthew~

[The Rose Dragon]

Well, since I was here when that A was added, I remember exactly what it stood for at the time, and I argued quite a bit against it, since if you are going to add an exception to the (to me, already all-encompassing) LGBT abbreviation, you can't do so without adding everything or leaving someone out.

Anyway, arguments on the topic solves nothing, and it is too late to get it removed without angering people.

[Lentrax]

Not really... though how does one find ones inner-self/discoveryquest?

Discovering yourself is not easy. Do not let yourself be fooled y all the self help 'gurus' out there who only want to make a buck off your insecurities.

First you have to realize there is something wrong. You have already done this.

Second you must learn what you can about your problem. Then comes the hard part. Learning what you can do about your problem.

This is the part where a lot of people give up. They begin to think it is too much work. It can be, but changing yourself, finding out who you are, who you want to be is not something that can be done overnight.

I would probably start like you just have. By asking what others think. Consult any resources you can think of.

It may help to find a counselor to talk this through with. But In the end, the desire to change has to truly be there. Do not start anything until you are sure you want to. Not because you feel you have to. That road leads only to ruin.

[Philemonite]

@Muffin - I will let other help with the second part of your needs. I cannot give much advise in the Trans regard, so I will just give hugz and cookies instead :smallamused:

~Matthew~

You stole my line, but since you're an ally I won't mind.:smalltongue:

[mistformsquirrl]

*randomness*

< . .> Hurm... I have to wonder what it is I'm doing wrong with my new avatar >,< Every time I make an avatar it never scales down very well <;_:>

[Silverrida]

WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am an ally as well, straight cis man here. So I do what I can to support the people who need it/want it. Don't know how much good I actually do, but I am here none-the-less for those that need someone to yell at :smallsmile:

I have always seen the "A" as "anything" as well, not just Asexual or Allies, but anyone else that might be different in their gender/sexuality. Note: Different, not bad :smallsmile:


~Matthew~

Oh dear lord all the colors. It's beautiful.

And yeah, I'm not going to be of much help here either. I'm just kind of chilling around atm :p.

[noparlpf]

I feel like I would be more female than male. The only advantages of a y chromosome would be:
1.Being able to be the Doctor if i suddenly gain superhuman acting capabilities
2.Easier family life

While a x chromosome would be:
1: Skirts! dresses! Pretty clothes!
2. Flirty! Bubbly! Cuddley!
3. Female body parts.
4. Being able to be more sensitive (I'll stop the list now, i'm starting to feel sexist... to both sexes/genders...)

Note that I have no idea how I will live later in life, either trans or cis-male. I havn't thought that far in either direction, all of my longing is past or present.

I'll just point out that the chromosomes are largely irrelevant. All the sex chromosomes do (well specifically just one gene on the Y chromosome) is determine what's between your legs. Gender identity and gender expression are largely unrelated to sex chromosomes. And gender identity and gender expression aren't entirely linked either. I'm cis-male and I could wear a dress if I wanted. Issue is, biking in a dress sounds weird, and I like my pockets.

[The Succubus]

I'm straight(ish) and cis but I love the crowd here. They're adorable. :smallbiggrin:

[Philemonite]

I'm straight(ish) and cis but I love the crowd here. They're adorable. :smallbiggrin:

I'm gay and cis, I think we are pretty rare on this thread.

[The Rose Dragon]

All the sex chromosomes do (well specifically just one gene on the Y chromosome) is determine what's between your legs.

It's not that simple, and that is not exactly accurate. While the presence of a Y chromosomes in mammals does, most of the time, allow for the development of male sexual organs, it is not really universal. Meanwhile, it does cause differentiation in hormone levels in addition to genital development in most cases.

Besides, in most mammalian females, the second X allosome does very little, because its protein expression is inactivated. Activation of more than one X allosome at once causes genetic disorders, though I don't recall exactly which ones.

[MuffinPuffin]

I'll just point out that the chromosomes are largely irrelevant. All the sex chromosomes do (well specifically just one gene on the Y chromosome) is determine what's between your legs. Gender identity and gender expression are largely unrelated to sex chromosomes. And gender identity and gender expression aren't entirely linked either. I'm cis-male and I could wear a dress if I wanted. Issue is, biking in a dress sounds weird, and I like my pockets.
Eh, It was just a different way to say Male/Female.

[noparlpf]

It's not that simple, and that is not exactly accurate. While the presence of a Y chromosomes in mammals does, most of the time, allow for the development of male sexual organs, it is not really universal. Meanwhile, it does cause differentiation in hormone levels in addition to genital development in most cases.

Besides, in most mammalian females, the second X allosome does very little, because its protein expression is inactivated. Activation of more than one X allosome at once causes genetic disorders, though I don't recall exactly which ones.

I'm simplifying things. In humans and most other mammals the SRY gene stimulates development of testes from the pre-gonad stuff, and most of the other stuff has to do with hormone levels, which are maintained by the testes. This is still kind of simplified.
And yeah, in just about any mammal with more than one X chromosome, only one is left active. That's how we get things like calico or tortoiseshell cats.

Edit:

Eh, It was just a different way to say Male/Female.

I'm pretty sure a lot of people here would agree that "XX genotype" does not imply "female".
Anyway even ignoring gender identity, there are XX males and XY females, and X or XXX females, and XXY males, and other things involving other extras.

[MuffinPuffin]

I'm pretty sure a lot of people here would agree that "XX genotype" does not imply "female".
Aaaaaaannnnddd.... I hadn't thought of that, man I feel bad now... Sorry... I mean no harm to the... oh dammit... I'll just leave for a bit...

Sorry.:smallfrown:

[SiuiS]

All the time. Every day. >:l

No, silly! In moderation. Duh~


It does both: in the long version there're at least two "A"s.

Well, LGB etc.ness doesn't automatically make you part of a community. There are LGB communities, there is not "The LGB Community."

I use A+ at the end for "alphabet soup" personally. A + is, by its nature, inclusive of non-listed.


but that's more a personality trait than a sex thing because I don't do sex.)

It's not necessarily about sex though.

This would be one of those "I should not talk because it's not topical' moments. Go read my stuff about Bioshock*Infinite; it was very much an enjoyable BDSM experience, and there was no sec involved. It was all video game playing.



Now onto my second post that I meant to post yesterday. Transexuality.I have a feeling this will be long.

SO a while ago, I was having my usual depressed-for-a-week month and thought that I was done, and just really needed to start over. Fix past wrongs and such. At this moment a little voice popped into my head that said "hey, wouldn't it be cool if you were a girl too?" and i couldn't stop thinking of it since. Whenever I end a day, or a moment, or even a conversation I think "what would of that been like if i were a girl?"be it parties, or classes, or public displays of affection with my girlfriend, or not-so-public-(actually-private)-displays?

I have, for a while now, liked cross-dressing, dressing in a dress in drama, playing female characters in plays/improve skits. I also feel very feminine normally, and think my cuddly, flirtatious, bubbly disposition would be better received if I were a girl. (Yeah, i think i would be MORE accepted as a "lesbian"... I know...

So what does this say to you guys? Does that sound transsexual*? Curiosity on how life could-of-been? Should I just go with being a feminine man?

*btw, i don't know if im using the right words for this kinda stuff, alert me if i need to change anything, this stuff is complicated.

Yup, that was long

You're using it right.

And while I cannot say for certain you are trans, I can say its worth seriously considering. It might be a stress reaction, or it might be dyspepsia, or who knows?


I still feel like the A in the title serves more to exclude than to include. But that's just me, and because I can't easily define what I am.

That's unfortunate. Sorry...


Discovering yourself is not easy. Do not let yourself be fooled y all the self help 'gurus' out there who only want to make a buck off your insecurities.

For anyone with access to Netflix, I seriously, strongly and emphatically suggest looking through the documentary Kumaré. Seriously. Write it down. Right now. I will talk to my filly about setting up a temporary, alternate password to our Netflix account if anyone wants to see it.

[Astrella]

Hi, Silverrida~


Speaking of bottom surgery, to those who had it and are transmen, how does it work out? I want it eventually but somewhat scared.


... I am going to get rid of my boobs at the very least when the time comes.

Hmm, I'm not a trans guy, but I could always ask on my local facebook group for some experiences?

I don't know if you are a redditor, but r/ftm (http://www.reddit.com/r/ftm) might also be worth asking around on.


And on a more personal side note, I have a feelin my relationship with my mother may explode in t minus 6 months or less, cuzz clearly my whole transness is personal to her and I'm apparently attacking her or some such, I don't really know anymore, just some of the texts she's sending are ... Ya

I think I know where my selfish nature may come from

Bleh, hrmm, I really hope it doesn't come to that. :smallfrown:


In my opinion, it makes the thread feel more like a clique. One that I'm excluded from.

Well, for me at least just participating is what got me involved in the thread.


Now onto my second post that I meant to post yesterday. Transexuality.I have a feeling this will be long.

SO a while ago, I was having my usual depressed-for-a-week month and thought that I was done, and just really needed to start over. Fix past wrongs and such. At this moment a little voice popped into my head that said "hey, wouldn't it be cool if you were a girl too?" and i couldn't stop thinking of it since. Whenever I end a day, or a moment, or even a conversation I think "what would of that been like if i were a girl?"be it parties, or classes, or public displays of affection with my girlfriend, or not-so-public-(actually-private)-displays?

I have, for a while now, liked cross-dressing, dressing in a dress in drama, playing female characters in plays/improve skits. I also feel very feminine normally, and think my cuddly, flirtatious, bubbly disposition would be better received if I were a girl. (Yeah, i think i would be MORE accepted as a "lesbian"... I know...

So what does this say to you guys? Does that sound transsexual*? Curiosity on how life could-of-been? Should I just go with being a feminine man?

*btw, i don't know if im using the right words for this kinda stuff, alert me if i need to change anything, this stuff is complicated.

Yup, that was long

Well, it's something you have to figure out yourself in the end... so a bit of self-exploration might be handy? One thing you could always do is just experiment a bit? Like, with clothes and such and see what you are comfortable with and such. Though, do remember that femininity doesn't have to be related to being a woman, but that distinction is something to figure out. But just messing around with things a bit can help in figuring stuff out. (And it's easier to online to try out things than offline, and that helped me quite a bit as well.)

If you want I could tell a bit about how I figured stuff out. (Though that's not a "you must feel the same way about all this" but it's more that reading about other people's experiences helped me figure out stuff about myself as well.)

(And feel free to ask questions and such of course in general. I'm also always up for talking on skype or something like that if you'd prefer that.)

[Eldest]

Aaaaaaannnnddd.... I hadn't thought of that, man I feel bad now... Sorry... I mean no harm to the... oh dammit... I'll just leave for a bit...

Sorry.:smallfrown:

*drags back in*
Nope. No leaving! Had too many people leave already.

[noparlpf]

Aaaaaaannnnddd.... I hadn't thought of that, man I feel bad now... Sorry... I mean no harm to the... oh dammit... I'll just leave for a bit...

Sorry.:smallfrown:

Oh geez, don't feel like you need to leave. It's not a big deal.

[mistformsquirrl]

Aaaaaaannnnddd.... I hadn't thought of that, man I feel bad now... Sorry... I mean no harm to the... oh dammit... I'll just leave for a bit...

Sorry.:smallfrown:

*holds on to your leg* >_< It's not a big deal you goof! Get back in here >_>

[Silverrida]

Hi Astrella :3

[Zorg]

Not really... though how does one find ones inner-self/discoveryquest?

http://deadhomersociety.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/elviajemisteriosodenuestrojomer5.png

As a more serious response it's basically, from what you've said, a matter of figuring out if you're conflating your desire to be feminine (points 2, 4 and even 1 to an extent) with being female-as-defined-by-society or wanting to be female (point #3).
Lentrax's advice is very good as well.



And thanks for all the well wishes and so on last thread. I'm doing better now, still be long time before I'm right, but getting there (I hope).

[MuffinPuffin]

Well, it's something you have to figure out yourself in the end... so a bit of self-exploration might be handy? One thing you could always do is just experiment a bit? Like, with clothes and such and see what you are comfortable with and such. Though, do remember that femininity doesn't have to be related to being a woman, but that distinction is something to figure out. But just messing around with things a bit can help in figuring stuff out. (And it's easier to online to try out things than offline, and that helped me quite a bit as well.)

If you want I could tell a bit about how I figured stuff out. (Though that's not a "you must feel the same way about all this" but it's more that reading about other people's experiences helped me figure out stuff about myself as well.)

(And feel free to ask questions and such of course in general. I'm also always up for talking on skype or something like that if you'd prefer that.)
It would be nice to hear how other people found out...
Also, what do you mean by "And it's easier to online to try out things than offline"?

*drags back in*
Nope. No leaving! Had too many people leave already.

Oh geez, don't feel like you need to leave. It's not a big deal.

*holds on to your leg* >_< It's not a big deal you goof! Get back in here >_>
Ok, I actually thought i might of offended people here... thats what I get for trying to use sequipidillian loquaciousness when my vocabulary is too voracious and inadequate.

[Mina Kobold]

*randomness*

< . .> Hurm... I have to wonder what it is I'm doing wrong with my new avatar >,< Every time I make an avatar it never scales down very well <;_:>

Scaling images can be quite difficult, particularly when it is from such a big (and neat) picture as the one you had to avatar size. Many details disappear due to being smaller than the pixels, while some things become much more prominent from the increased pixelation. I think you did pretty well, all things considered. :smallsmile:

I don't know if it helps, but I usually draw my avatars at the actual size of 120x120 pixels to avoid awkward scaling. It felt a bit cramped at first, but it is fun to work with the size limitation. ^_^


Oh dear lord all the colors. It's beautiful.

And yeah, I'm not going to be of much help here either. I'm just kind of chilling around atm :p.

Chilling around is plenty help! ^_^


Aaaaaaannnnddd.... I hadn't thought of that, man I feel bad now... Sorry... I mean no harm to the... oh dammit... I'll just leave for a bit...

Sorry.:smallfrown:

No! No feeling bad or leaving! You are too neat for that and it is an honest mistake, no leaving!

*Sleepily hugs Muffin's leg to keep Muffin from leaving*

Please? O.O

[MuffinPuffin]

I'm not leaving, I jsut wanted to get across that i was highly embarrassed, realized what i said, and tryed to show my shame...

Its nice to be wanted, but it is kinda creepy/ I can see why some people don't like it. :smallredface:

[Astrella]

It would be nice to hear how other people found out...
Also, what do you mean by "And it's easier to online to try out things than offline"?

Oh, one thing that sorta confirmed things a lot for me was that being addressed as female by my friends online sorta confirmed my feelings to a degree. But what I meant was that it's easy to experiment with gender icons and ways of being addressed online.

(I'll type out something about how I found out a bit later if you want.)

[Ilena]

When I read what you said muff I didn't even bat an eye :p don't worry (is trans m to f :p)

And as for being trans, it took me 8 years of thought to get to this point, of questioning and thinking and questing, but it boils down for me (can't stress that this is me personally) I enjoy being female and I enjoy being treated as such, I've always hated my male form and bits, and I truely desire female ones (and havin a purse is AWESOME :p) but ya, that's how it is for me, that and I've never really been "manly" the most male thing I do is play video games and ususlly ones involving war in some kind :p

[Silverrida]

Oh, one thing that sorta confirmed things a lot for me was that being addressed as female by my friends online sorta confirmed my feelings to a degree. But what I meant was that it's easy to experiment with gender icons and ways of being addressed online.

(I'll type out something about how I found out a bit later if you want.)

I really enjoy when I'm mistaken for female online because I want to fit what is more stereotypically female than stereotypically male. However, I am cis male.

[Zorg]

(and havin a purse is AWESOME :p)

I have to slightly disagree - I mean they look great, but swapping everything can be annoying and I lose stuff. I was looking for some hair bows I'd left in one of my purses the other day and found 25 bucks I didn't know was in there :smalleek:

Took me 25 years to get here, or rather 25 years to get back to where I was :smallsigh:

[MuffinPuffin]

Oh, one thing that sorta confirmed things a lot for me was that being addressed as female by my friends online sorta confirmed my feelings to a degree. But what I meant was that it's easy to experiment with gender icons and ways of being addressed online.

(I'll type out something about how I found out a bit later if you want.)
Oooh... that sounds nice.. Is it ok if everyone uses female pronouns? I've always wanted to try that, and came close to asking for it before...
And if you wouldn't mind sharing with me your story... that would be great.

When I read what you said muff I didn't even bat an eye :p don't worry (is trans m to f :p)

And as for being trans, it took me 8 years of thought to get to this point, of questioning and thinking and questing, but it boils down for me (can't stress that this is me personally) I enjoy being female and I enjoy being treated as such, I've always hated my male form and bits, and I truely desire female ones (and havin a purse is AWESOME :p) but ya, that's how it is for me, that and I've never really been "manly" the most male thing I do is play video games and ususlly ones involving war in some kind :p
I play video games... but thats about it...
Thanks for not being offended

I really enjoy when I'm mistaken for female online because I want to fit what is more stereotypically female than stereotypically male. However, I am cis male.
Heh, I like being mistaken too. Got mistaken quite a few times before (even here, though dont think too hard about my join date.)

@purses
Cute accessories, seem helpful but cumbersome. Probably intended as a replacement for the fact that girls clothes generally don't have good pockets (something i would miss)

[Lentrax]

The important thing to remember here everyone, is this.

Here you are loved, no matter what. Here you will find comfort and support to salve the bumps and bruises of your pursuit of happiness.

And cake.

[Silverrida]

The important thing to remember here everyone, is this.

Here you are loved, no matter what. Here you will find comfort and support to salve the bumps and bruises of your pursuit of happiness.

And cake.

Eh, there exist other threads here to help me with my issues. I'm new to the site though and don't want to jump into a bunch of threads just yet. I also don't want to put my problems out there when I know nothing will fix them at the moment.

[MuffinPuffin]

The important thing to remember here everyone, is this.

Here you are loved, no matter what. Here you will find comfort and support to salve the bumps and bruises of your pursuit of happiness.

And cake.
The cake is made of FISH! (new meme, started here, you saw it first)

Eh, there exist other threads here to help me with my issues. I'm new to the site though and don't want to jump into a bunch of threads just yet. I also don't want to put my problems out there when I know nothing will fix them at the moment.
Want to talk about it? It helps, trust me...

I'm a talker. I also listen

[Silverrida]

The cake is made of FISH! (new meme, started here, you saw it first)

Want to talk about it? It helps, trust me...

I'm a talker.

At the moment, nah, I'm fine, and again it's the wrong thread for it :p

Thank you though.

[MuffinPuffin]

At the moment, nah, I'm fine, and again it's the wrong thread for it :p

Thank you though.
As far as I can tell, this threads for anything as long as some people talk about LGBTAect stuff when the mods walk in.

[Mystic Muse]

Just thought I'd throw in my two cents on the discussion of not feeling welcome.

It is not the only thing, but the repeated flirtation and such make me extremely uncomfortable. While not the only reason I did, it is a major reason I decided to take a break.

Now, back to my self imposed exile.

[Silverrida]

As far as I can tell, this threads for anything as long as some people talk about LGBTAect stuff when the mods walk in.

Fair enough. Regardless I'm okay atm. Check back in with me in like 5 hours. I'm sure I'll be miserable xD

[MuffinPuffin]

Just thought I'd throw in my two cents on the discussion of not feeling welcome.

It is not the only thing, but the repeated flirtation and such make me extremely uncomfortable. While not the only reason I did, it is a major reason I decided to take a break.

Now, back to my self imposed exile.
Yeah, it would be good to keep that stuff in spoiler thingies, if thats ok...
I'm flirtatious (irl) myself, but i see how people can be off-put by it.

Fair enough. Regardless I'm okay atm. Check back in with me in like 5 hours. I'm sure I'll be miserable xD
Noted'

[Ilena]

I have to slightly disagree - I mean they look great, but swapping everything can be annoying and I lose stuff. I was looking for some hair bows I'd left in one of my purses the other day and found 25 bucks I didn't know was in there :smalleek:

Lol that would be good then! I only have 1 purse and so nothin to swap :p but I just enjoy having it instead of in pockets , that and I can just grab it and go and all my stuff is in there that I need :p

Annnnd this is true, female clothing and pockets are basicly nil unless its jeans (shallow pockets I found on basicly the one pair I have, the other doesn't have any though looks like it :p best 2 jeans I've ever had though) and sweat pants have pockets, that's bout it

And I can be highly flirtations when I wana be, and when I feel the other person or people are receptive and perhaps gives a bit of an opening, I love and enjoy it though rarely have a chance in recent years, but ya, I do get a sense of .... Mmm how to say it, an in crowd and outside crowd, its barely noticeable but its there at least for me

[Lauren]

Annnnd this is true, female clothing and pockets are basicly nil unless its jeans (shallow pockets I found on basicly the one pair I have, the other doesn't have any though looks like it :p best 2 jeans I've ever had though) and sweat pants have pockets, that's bout it

I'm eternally grateful that my workplace started allowing jeans, because finding work trousers that fit and had pockets was impossible. (Then they banned hoodies and ruined the top half of my wardrobe, but I'm slowly finding replacements.)

Not on-topic, but just the state of the Lauren at the moment: my neck is killing me, I've had maybe three hours' sleep, and yet I'm feeling really good. How does that even work? (It could be the fact that breakfast was lemon cheesecake, because I grabbed the first edible thing that I didn't have to bend my neck to make, so I could take painkillers.)

As far as feeling welcome in the thread goes, I've gone from hanging around the edges two threads ago to having it be one of the first sites I visit each day. I guess everyone's integration is different. I certainly wouldn't say I'm well-known here, unlike other forums, but there's something comfortable about this thread that makes it nice to read through even if I don't get all the injokes and references.

[Lix Lorn]

I am an EXPERT in not getting enough sleep. :smalltongue:
Somewhere beyond tired is a state of hyperactive productivity. However, after that lies 'physical difficulty in keeping eyes open', so use your time caefully.

[Ilena]

Yea lack of sleep, i wake up at 440 am ... i go to bed usually around 11 ... or 12 .... every ... single ... night. Well week night, weekends i get to sleep in till 8! :P

[TaiLiu]

The cake is made of FISH! (new meme, started here, you saw it first)
I did. Also, the fish is a metaphor for mistrust.

Yea lack of sleep, i wake up at 440 am ... i go to bed usually around 11 ... or 12 .... every ... single ... night. Well week night, weekends i get to sleep in till 8! :P
Four hours of sleep every night is indeed harsh.

[The Rose Dragon]

I am hoping I will catch up on sleep now that my term is over and I'll have a month free.

[TaiLiu]

I am hoping I will catch up on sleep now that my term is over and I'll have a month free.
A most excellent idea. In fact, I'll join you!

[Akowrules]

:smallfrown: Oh. My condolences.

Like you said, I doubt he - your current boyfriend - would betray you, since he'll probably be too busy to deal with the forum-censored stuff. I certainly hope he doesn't.

Well, I doubt that, but it's the unknown that scares me :smallfrown: also, he isn't my boyfriend. At least, not yet.


I'm sorry, Akow....:smallfrown: I hope things work out well for you!

Also! Next Sunday is the Denver Pride Parade, and I'm going to go! I want to get a pretty dress to wear, but I have no one to go shopping with...

I'm going to be walking with our companies' float, but I don't really know what it's going to be like. Hopefully it will be fun...

Also, I've been trying to think of how long it'll take before I can start on hormones; up to three more weeks before my therapist will write my letter (according to her), up to a week to get it faxed in and for the endo to write the prescription, another week for it to get filled...maybe mid July? I'm not sure.

Also, tomorrow I'm talking with my Big Boss about what's been going on with the HR Lady at work. Hopefully he'll take my coming out well :smalleek: . My manager will be there as support, but it's still nerve-wracking, because he's the big guy...


~Phoenix~

Thanks, and good luck to you too!


Good luck Absol! <^.^>

@Akow - Try to think on the positive side, like how dashing he'll look in uniform < ._.>b You shall make many people jealous methinks <_<

I hope it goes well for ya <^o^>

----

In personal news, I just got back from the Emergency Room <@_@> was having weird feelings in my side where I fell >_< Luckily it's just a contusion - doctor said everything from where I fell down will probably go black and blue, but that it'll be OK. Got some superheavy pain meds to help me sleep too, so that'll be good.

I've seen him in uniform.......... It's certainly a sight to see...... And I hope your pain leaves you soon. I hate it when nice people are in pain :smallfrown:


*Is glomped and flails*

Eek! A mist! O_O



I can't tell the future, but it is indeed doubtful. You two like each other, why would either of you want to end that? If your old boyfriend did it, then shame on him, because that is a mean way to end things, but it's not more likely to happen this time because it has happened before. You don't want to dumb your BF to do it, so why would your BF want to dumb someone who rules as much as you for it? :smallsmile:



Good luck at the DPP, Phee! Sounds like it will be fun. :smallsmile:

Congrats on maybe being able to start in mid-July! Lucky! ^_^

If Big Boss is a problem, I'd try to get a Snake or two to help! :3

In all seriousness, I wish I could help make it less scary, but I can only offer virtual hugs. ;_;

*Offers virtual Kobold hugs*



I hope it goes well and that the nervousness stops being so bad. Try to eat if you want and can, but I don't think it's bad if you don't. Sometimes there are things big enough that you can't do everything you'd normally do. :smallsmile:

Thanks, but I worry. I worry waaaaay too much like my mother. I'm just thankful that I didn't inherit her pessimistic way of looking at things too.


Anyway, yesterday, I went on my first date (sort of) with Michael. It's somewhat like a date, since Jessica, Bennett, and Laura came as well. It was quite fun, and I tumbled in the grass :smallbiggrin: and Michael pulled out some sick dance moves that made me super jealous. Anyway, tomorrow is my last day of finals!! Unfortunately, they're my Constitution Test and my French class. It will not be easy. But, on the brighter side of things, I'll be going to the mall after school on another date (sort of)! This time, the people tagging along are Jessica, Brianna, Laura, Bennett, and Anthony. It'll be fun! And I probably won't be on tomorrow at all. I wish you all the best, and hope everyone is doing well!! :smallbiggrin:

[SiuiS]

It would be nice to hear how other people found out...
Also, what do you mean by "And it's easier to online to try out things than offline"?


You don't need to be addressed online in any way but how you want. So you can tell if it is fun, or confirming, or taboo, or whatnot for you.

I've kinda known since forever. During puberty it was really awful, and I sat down one day and thought about whether getting a sec change would be in my future. Being 13 and having no Internet or resources whatsoever, I concluded that surgery alone wouldn't work, because it would still be a male body, just a (now) disfigured one.
Much later, the Succubus and Golentan started talking about secondary sexual characteristics and how hormone therapy worked, and I shut it out because I didn't want to think about how I may have made the wrong decision. And then a friend came out here, and when asks about it explained everything I'd been feeling and I had a breakdown in my kitchen, crying.
It's been slow recovery since, but I'm working it out.


Eh, there exist other threads here to help me with my issues. I'm new to the site though and don't want to jump into a bunch of threads just yet. I also don't want to put my problems out there when I know nothing will fix them at the moment.

Ponythread may be good for that, when they get past all he i jokes and actually practice being nice people.


As far as I can tell, this threads for anything as long as some people talk about LGBTAect stuff when the mods walk in.

Mmrmm. I see what you mean but I would rather not willingly bend the rules. The Mods aren't just faceless authority figures. They're our friends. I don't want to make work for my friends by breaking an agreement with them.


I'm eternally grateful that my workplace started allowing jeans, because finding work trousers that fit and had pockets was impossible. (Then they banned hoodies and ruined the top half of my wardrobe, but I'm slowly finding replacements.)

Not on-topic, but just the state of the Lauren at the moment: my neck is killing me, I've had maybe three hours' sleep, and yet I'm feeling really good. How does that even work? (It could be the fact that breakfast was lemon cheesecake, because I grabbed the first edible thing that I didn't have to bend my neck to make, so I could take painkillers.)

As far as feeling welcome in the thread goes, I've gone from hanging around the edges two threads ago to having it be one of the first sites I visit each day. I guess everyone's integration is different. I certainly wouldn't say I'm well-known here, unlike other forums, but there's something comfortable about this thread that makes it nice to read through even if I don't get all the injokes and references.

Glad to have you, too :smallsmile:

For your neck, if its the muscles along either side of the vertebrae, you can use a soft stress ball, a tennis ball, or a ripe/over ripe orange. Put it against a wall, lean into it, and move around to roll it along the muscle. Go soft and slow, and you'll get some relief. Just be gentle, a bruise would be like, all sorts of backfire.

[TaiLiu]

Well, I doubt that, but it's the unknown that scares me :smallfrown: also, he isn't my boyfriend. At least, not yet.
It has not been made "official" yet? Ah; I see.

[Akowrules]

It has not been made "official" yet? Ah; I see.

Well, I forget if I said this or not, but when he leaves, he doesn't want too many attachments. He doesn't want to hurt everyday, or worry about me finding someone else (because I already have a HUGE line of people just waiting to date me), or something like that, and I understand that. All I know is that I don't want to cause anything bad to happen. I want to try to do something different for once. You know, instead of f****** up everything I do.

[TaiLiu]

Well, I forget if I said this or not, but when he leaves, he doesn't want too many attachments. He doesn't want to hurt everyday, or worry about me finding someone else (because I already have a HUGE line of people just waiting to date me), or something like that, and I understand that.
Ah.

All I know is that I don't want to cause anything bad to happen. I want to try to do something different for once. You know, instead of f****** up everything I do.
Dearest Comrade, that's hardly true. I mean, look at your gymnastics skills!

[golentan]

Well, I forget if I said this or not, but when he leaves, he doesn't want too many attachments. He doesn't want to hurt everyday, or worry about me finding someone else (because I already have a HUGE line of people just waiting to date me), or something like that, and I understand that. All I know is that I don't want to cause anything bad to happen. I want to try to do something different for once. You know, instead of f****** up everything I do.

Ouch. Can you at least talk him into a commitment for now, even if you reexamine when he leaves? Because if this is upsetting you, I don't think it's unreasonable to ask .

[hoverfrog]

Not a part of the LGBTA community myself, but support the community in general.Me too. There are a lot of people who are willing to offer support.

[Urist]

Is it wrong to be not just irritated, but terribly disheartened when a professed ally refuses to acknowledge that by referring to me, a bisexual cis-male, as "girly" because of a few typically feminine-coded behaviors, she's helping reinforce a gender binary, which she professes not to support, and refuses to understand how that could possibly be a bad thing? (Just to clarify here, I'm not averse to being identified with feminine-coded behaviors, but am sad that she can't be made to recognize how problematic it is to code behaviors so simplistically, or even to even teasingly use it as an insult...)

On the plus side, I'm now officially done with high school! Commencement on Saturday, and then I'm completely and totally done!

Edit: MY AVATAR WORKS SORT OF NOW! YAYYYYYYYYYY :smallbiggrin:

[Ilena]

So i have concluded 2 things ... one .. my body dislikes (as in really dislikes) the veil cutlets i made .... i think the washroom will be visited soon and poor anyone who goes in there after ....

secondly, i may be in a sleep dep state now ... for i was going to put my dirty plate in the fridge and the ketchup in the sink .... this clearly calls for more sugar! :P (i hate sleepin and im so a night owl ...)

[The Rose Dragon]

Edit: MY AVATAR WORKS SORT OF NOW! YAYYYYYYYYYY :smallbiggrin:

Is that K.O.L.M.?

[Urist]

Is that K.O.L.M.?

Dwarf Fortress, actually. Not familiar with K.O.L.M.

[Kittenwolf]

First up, on the cliques thing. Is it worth adding a note in the first page? Something like "Since we tend to discuss some very personal things here (gender and sexual identity etc) we tend to often come across as a tight-knit, at times cliquish group. Please don't let this put you off posting here! We're nice and we welcome new people"

Just so that new people get that little bit more prior knowledge of why things are as they are?



Now onto my second post that I meant to post yesterday. Transexuality.I have a feeling this will be long.

SO a while ago, I was having my usual depressed-for-a-week month and thought that I was done, and just really needed to start over. Fix past wrongs and such. At this moment a little voice popped into my head that said "hey, wouldn't it be cool if you were a girl too?" and i couldn't stop thinking of it since. Whenever I end a day, or a moment, or even a conversation I think "what would of that been like if i were a girl?"be it parties, or classes, or public displays of affection with my girlfriend, or not-so-public-(actually-private)-displays?

I have, for a while now, liked cross-dressing, dressing in a dress in drama, playing female characters in plays/improve skits. I also feel very feminine normally, and think my cuddly, flirtatious, bubbly disposition would be better received if I were a girl. (Yeah, i think i would be MORE accepted as a "lesbian"... I know...

So what does this say to you guys? Does that sound transsexual*? Curiosity on how life could-of-been? Should I just go with being a feminine man?

*btw, i don't know if im using the right words for this kinda stuff, alert me if i need to change anything, this stuff is complicated.

Yup, that was long

First up, *Hugs* :)
Secondly, it's hard to say if what you've described are symptoms of being trans* in some way, or if it's 'just' you questioning typical gender roles.
Maybe have a good chat about it with your girlfriend if you haven't already, and maybe a counselor who specialises in gender identity?
Perhaps you should (if you haven't already) try presenting as a girl and going out a bit like that, and see if you feel comfortable?

Basically, think, talk, experiment, see how you go :D



Annnnd this is true, female clothing and pockets are basicly nil unless its jeans (shallow pockets I found on basicly the one pair I have, the other doesn't have any though looks like it :p best 2 jeans I've ever had though) and sweat pants have pockets, that's bout it

Try checking Kathmandu sometime. Last time I was in there I saw a *cargo skirt*!
Knee length skirt or a little shorter, with as many pockets as cargo pants!

[MuffinPuffin]

First up, on the cliques thing. Is it worth adding a note in the first page? Something like "Since we tend to discuss some very personal things here (gender and sexual identity etc) we tend to often come across as a tight-knit, at times cliquish group. Please don't let this put you off posting here! We're nice and we welcome new people"

Just so that new people get that little bit more prior knowledge of why things are as they are?
Might be a good idea.


First up, *Hugs* :)
Secondly, it's hard to say if what you've described are symptoms of being trans* in some way, or if it's 'just' you questioning typical gender roles.
Maybe have a good chat about it with your girlfriend if you haven't already, and maybe a counselor who specialises in gender identity?
Perhaps you should (if you haven't already) try presenting as a girl and going out a bit like that, and see if you feel comfortable?

Basically, think, talk, experiment, see how you go :D

I live in a small town, and go to highschool, its kinda impossible to go out and present as a girl... Although i havn't stolen one of my sisters dressess in a while, might try that again...

[noparlpf]

The cake is made of FISH! (new meme, started here, you saw it first)

...fish-shaped crackers, fish-shaped candies, fish-shaped solid waste, fish-shaped dirt, fish-shaped ethylbenzene [note that ethylbenzene looks at most like a ray or skate, and nothing like a fish-shaped fish], pull-and-peel licorice, fish-shaped volatile organic compounds and sediment-shaped sediment...


You don't need to be addressed online in any way but how you want. So you can tell if it is fun, or confirming, or taboo, or whatnot for you.

You mean here. If you wander into the meaner parts of the internet, people will call you any names they can think of instead of listening to you, respecting you as a person, or coming up with rational arguments.


Is it wrong to be not just irritated, but terribly disheartened when a professed ally refuses to acknowledge that by referring to me, a bisexual cis-male, as "girly" because of a few typically feminine-coded behaviors, she's helping reinforce a gender binary, which she professes not to support, and refuses to understand how that could possibly be a bad thing? (Just to clarify here, I'm not averse to being identified with feminine-coded behaviors, but am sad that she can't be made to recognize how problematic it is to code behaviors so simplistically, or even to even teasingly use it as an insult...)

On the plus side, I'm now officially done with high school! Commencement on Saturday, and then I'm completely and totally done!

Edit: MY AVATAR WORKS SORT OF NOW! YAYYYYYYYYYY :smallbiggrin:

That does sound a little odd, yeah.
Hurray, now I won't mistake you with me. Before it was just black, right?
Oh yeah, and congrats on graduating. Or commencing or whatever.

[turkishproverb]

Should I worry about the new title?

[Kindablue]

Should I worry about the new title?

Not as long as you're current on all your vaccinations.

[turkishproverb]

Ah. I see.

[TaiLiu]

Ah. I see.
There might be some slight pain involved, though.

[turkishproverb]

That's good to know.

[Kittenwolf]

I live in a small town, and go to highschool, its kinda impossible to go out and present as a girl... Although i havn't stolen one of my sisters dressess in a while, might try that again...

I'd have thought that'd make it easier in some ways :)
Get your girlfriend on side, go to some shopping place that's a bit more out of the way than usual, and if anyone picks you just have your girlfriend say that you lost a bet on something ;)

[TaiLiu]

...If anyone picks you just have your girlfriend say that you lost a bet on something ;)
Wouldn't that lead to more mockery...?

[Kittenwolf]

Wouldn't that lead to more mockery...?

Hrm. I must admit it'd depend a lot on the local culture and how much of a 'good sport' people are about things :(

[celtois]

Re. Cliques:

Sadly I have to echo what some of the other infrequent posters have said. When I post here I always feel like I'm part of an outgroup, and I can never really shake the feeling as such I tend not to post here very much. :smallfrown:

The flirtyness doesn't help. Though thats a personal thing. I used to be very flirty online, and I just don't feel comfortable with it anymore.

Re. MuffinPuffin on questioning Gender identity.

I went through something similar with regards to my gender identity, I don't feel like typing up my entire thought process. But my conclusions were thus:
1. For me the desire to be a women rather than a man, may be a case of "grass is greener on the other side" syndrome.
2. If 1 isn't the case (I'm unsure about 1, I think it is equally likely that I truly would be more content as a women than a man) I would not be satisfied with the options available at present for transitioning.
3. Given the above, I will reconsider my options, when transitioning options that I am satisfied with exist.
4. Unlike some of the Trans-folk that I know, I am not terrible uncomfortable with my existence, at some points I experience minor distress, or a longing for change, but my existence is not something that I am uncomfortable enough to require immediate action.

But as others have said its something you have to work out for yourself.

My suggested steps would be:
1. Evaluate the situation, do some soul searching.
1a. Try and determine how immediately you need to Transition, i.e. how trapped you feel.
2. Research the options for transitioning
3. Given one and two, mull over your options for a while and make a decision.
4. Revaluate as circumstance warrants.

Your mileage may vary I tend to think logically so I found the progression of thought helped. But personal experience is personal, some adaptation may be required for use.

Hopefully that helps. :smallsmile:
Sadly advice like this is really the best any of us can give regardless of how much we might want to help more, because the same "symptoms" of discomfort with your sex in one person could mean different things in different people.

Take me for instance, I have experienced similar things to you, and have settled on remaining were I am, on the nebulous boundry between Cis and Trans gendered, while another person might need to make the leap one way or another.

PS. You are welcome to add me to the list of open PM boxes, I can speak about Asexuality, Polyamory(in so as far as my personal experience goes anyway) and Bisexuality/Pansexuality.

Edit: Welp that's my 2cp time for me to make an exit, catch y'all on the PM side.

[Akowrules]

Ouch. Can you at least talk him into a commitment for now, even if you reexamine when he leaves? Because if this is upsetting you, I don't think it's unreasonable to ask .

Already asked today. He said he needs to think about it. I don't want to pressure because I don't want to lose him. He's too precious to lose.

[Kittenwolf]

Re. Cliques:

Sadly I have to echo what some of the other infrequent posters have said. When I post here I always feel like I'm part of an outgroup, and I can never really shake the feeling as such I tend not to post here very much. :smallfrown:

:(
*Hug*
Really sorry to hear that. I.. wish I had any idea what we can do about it.

[TaiLiu]

Already asked today. He said he needs to think about it. I don't want to pressure because I don't want to lose him. He's too precious to lose.
Ah. Well, no matter the result, I hope everything goes well.

:(
*Hug*
Really sorry to hear that. I.. wish I had any idea what we can do about it.
Hm. Now that I think about it, I'm doubting its possibility. To be exact: this is an LGBTA+ support thread. In theory, if someone needs support, we shower them with it. This, however, results in outliers: people who don't need support, and people who don't say that they need support (Probably more, too). Those people can support other people, but will not obtain the same spreading of emotions as the supported people. As such, some outliers will often feel like they're not part of the group, or, in some way isolated.

That's my theory, anyway.

[celtois]

Hm. Now that I think about it, I'm doubting its possibility. To be exact: this is an LGBTA+ support thread. In theory, if someone needs support, we shower them with it. This, however, results in outliers: people who don't need support, and people who don't say that they need support (Probably more, too). Those people can support other people, but will not obtain the same spreading of emotions as the supported people. As such, some outliers will often feel like they're not part of the group, or, in some way isolated.

That's my theory, anyway.

I guess I'm not going to dart off without adding something else.

I'm of two minds on what you just said, on the one hand I'm the sort of person who doesn't need support, and when I do need support I either don't admit it, or tend not to go online with my problem. Which works as a logical explaination for my feeling like an out group/isolated, and dropping by very infrequently to pass on advice.

On the other hand, I also frequent the Relationship woes and advice thread, (Though with my posting habits frequent is a strong word for any thread on this forum.) where I am in a similar situation in that I tend to give advice rather than receive it. (Though I have on occasion asked for advice from both threads)
There I don't feel so isolated, and as such I tend to keep up with the thread more, I read it more often and most in it more often. Despite my frequency of realtionship problems being approximately equal to my frequency of LGBT related problems, with regard to problems that I would consider bringing online.

So to some extent I believe you are correct, I am in the outgroup because of my position as a givee, rather than a recievee of advice. On the other hand there are other individuals on this thread who are predominately advice givers, and the problem doesn't exist in another thread where a comparable situation exists.

I think a question we should ask ourselves is: Is the difference one of tone, if so, is the tone difference a requirement of the content that is discussed here compared to the relationship thread?

@V Thank you, :smallsmile:, and don't worry I know that people here don't dislike me. (At least that's my impression :smallwink:) :smallbiggrin: Though I wish I could comment on why exactly I feel like an outsider, unfortunately like some of the other posters I'm having trouble putting my finger on it. :smallconfused:

[turkishproverb]

Sadly I have to echo what some of the other infrequent posters have said. When I post here I always feel like I'm part of an outgroup, and I can never really shake the feeling as such I tend not to post here very much. :smallfrown:

Don't feel like that. We like you. And you just gave some very thoughtful words.:smallsmile:

[Absol197]

Hey there. I do hope I haven't contributed to anyone's feeling of isolation or being excluded :smallfrown: . It's never my intention to do so...

But as for news...I don't really have any, today. I just want to wish everybody well, and to give thousands upon thousands of hugs to all.

...

*HUGS!*


~Phoenix~

[TaiLiu]

*HUGS!*
Hugs! :smallsmile:

[Karen Lynn]

I think, near the top of the OP and marked in someway for attention, that we need to clearly say to people to feel free to post, and not worry about any current conversation. I know that I enjoy helping others to any extent that I can. I'm thinking something like the following:

Please, feel free to post. While we do have a few 'in-jokes', that is something that comes from familiarity with one another. We'll gladly explain them, and let you in on them. We're a growing family with room for more, you included. This thread is what it is due to people coming in and talking, and over time, staying and advising others. If you have questions, ask them. At the very worst, we might not know what to do or say, but the offers of baked goods and hugs, if needed, will always remain.

Since so many people have expressed discomfort with it, I will cease my flirty posts in here. Now then, I am away from thread. I need to spend some quality time with my pillow.

[golentan]

I'm going to air a bit of dissent here. A huge part of why I feel so comfortable airing my problems here is because of the atmosphere of camaraderie between longtime regulars. And yes, flirtatiousness is included there. To me, it builds a common framework, and an air of congeniality. A lot of the subject matter here is dark, and a lot of it is deeply personal. I would feel embarrassed to bring my problems to the thread if it wasn't a personal experience, the same as I couldn't cope with a psychologist who didn't build a personal relationship with me rather than treating me like a collection of symptoms and anecdotes.

I feel that removing that element would make the thread a much more depressing place, as well. Truth be told, part of the reason I walked out a couple months back was because I felt I was being shamed for taking part in a lot of the conversations I felt most helped me.

I don't want anyone to feel unwelcome here, but I want the culture that helped me come to terms with a lot of my baggage, and that helped me understand things I hadn't considered, and that made me feel like I had friends and supporters during a dark time in my life to remain true to the things that made me join the thread in the first place.

[TaiLiu]

I don't want anyone to feel unwelcome here, but I want the culture that helped me come to terms with a lot of my baggage, and that helped me understand things I hadn't considered, and that made me feel like I had friends and supporters during a dark time in my life to remain true to the things that made me join the thread in the first place.
I'm going to be controversial and agree. (This is controversial, right?)

[turkishproverb]

I think, near the top of the OP and marked in someway for attention, that we need to clearly say to people to feel free to post, and not worry about any current conversation. I know that I enjoy helping others to any extent that I can. I'm thinking something like the following:

Please, feel free to post. While we do have a few 'in-jokes', that is something that comes from familiarity with one another. We'll gladly explain them, and let you in on them. We're a growing family with room for more, you included. This thread is what it is due to people coming in and talking, and over time, staying and advising others. If you have questions, ask them. At the very worst, we might not know what to do or say, but the offers of baked goods and hugs, if needed, will always remain.

Since so many people have expressed discomfort with it, I will cease my flirty posts in here. Now then, I am away from thread. I need to spend some quality time with my pillow.

I like the addition. And I don't think the occasional flirt would cause problems. Just be sure not to do it TO the wrong person.

Have fun with the pillow! :smallsmile:

[golentan]

On an unrelated and less contentious note, I find same sex couples so much more adorable than comparable heterosexual couples, and I don't know why. I mean, I like seeing any two people being affectionate, but seeing two guys or two girls cuddling is more likely to make me squee.

On which note, does anyone have a good gay romantic novel they could recommend me? Preferably in a science fiction setting.

[Lauren]

I like the flirting. Even if I haven't been on either the giving or receiving end, it makes me smile. :smallredface:

[Axinian]

I like the flirting. Even if I haven't been on either the giving or receiving end, it makes me smile. :smallredface:

I like it too. Granted, I never really post, but it makes me happy to read the thread nonetheless.

[Halae]

I like the flirting, it's fun :smallsmile:
On an unrelated and less contentious note, I find same sex couples so much more adorable than comparable heterosexual couples, and I don't know why. I mean, I like seeing any two people being affectionate, but seeing two guys or two girls cuddling is more likely to make me squee.

On which note, does anyone have a good gay romantic novel they could recommend me? Preferably in a science fiction setting.

No recommendations, but this does make me wonder how you respond to relationships where one of the individuals is Trans.

[SiuiS]

That does sound a little odd, yeah.
Hurray, now I won't mistake you with me. Before it was just black, right?
Oh yeah, and congrats on graduating. Or commencing or whatever.

Oh is that what happened?


Wouldn't that lead to more mockery...?

Dependent. Possibly commiseration instead. Feeds into normative gender roles though.


Re. Cliques:

Sadly I have to echo what some of the other infrequent posters have said. When I post here I always feel like I'm part of an outgroup, and I can never really shake the feeling as such I tend not to post here very much. :smallfrown:

The flirtyness doesn't help. Though thats a personal thing. I used to be very flirty online, and I just don't feel comfortable with it anymore.

Hmm. Well, I've always like your posts. And your avatar.

Perhaps it is similar to reaction to generic pet names? I call everyone some version of luv/hon/sweetie/friend, and some people seem to take it as mockery. Perhaps some people just take the flirting in a different light?


I'm going to air a bit of dissent here. A huge part of why I feel so comfortable airing my problems here is because of the atmosphere of camaraderie between longtime regulars. And yes, flirtatiousness is included there. To me, it builds a common framework, and an air of congeniality. A lot of the subject matter here is dark, and a lot of it is deeply personal. I would feel embarrassed to bring my problems to the thread if it wasn't a personal experience, the same as I couldn't cope with a psychologist who didn't build a personal relationship with me rather than treating me like a collection of symptoms and anecdotes.

I feel that removing that element would make the thread a much more depressing place, as well. Truth be told, part of the reason I walked out a couple months back was because I felt I was being shamed for taking part in a lot of the conversations I felt most helped me.

I don't want anyone to feel unwelcome here, but I want the culture that helped me come to terms with a lot of my baggage, and that helped me understand things I hadn't considered, and that made me feel like I had friends and supporters during a dark time in my life to remain true to the things that made me join the thread in the first place.

Oh, honey :smallfrown:. No one was shaming you, and we all missed you :smallsmile:


On an unrelated and less contentious note, I find same sex couples so much more adorable than comparable heterosexual couples, and I don't know why. I mean, I like seeing any two people being affectionate, but seeing two guys or two girls cuddling is more likely to make me squee.

Acclimatization? The number of heterosexual couples is late enough that we have become desensitized, I think.


On which note, does anyone have a good gay romantic novel they could recommend me? Preferably in a science fiction setting.

I was waiting for you to write one, actually!

[golentan]

I like the flirting, it's fun :smallsmile:

No recommendations, but this does make me wonder how you respond to relationships where one of the individuals is Trans.

My girlfriend is trans. I tend to view it as benefitting from the bonus cuteness, regardless of the gender of the trans partner or sex of the other partner.

Edit: I'm working on writing one. I'm just bad at it.

[Lentrax]

Flirting and 'in' jokes:

Personally, I like the atmosphere in here a lot. It was a big part if why I came in, made myself comfortable, and joined Lixies harem.
If we take that feeling of being open and welcoming to everyone away, we wouldn't have had 35 previous threads of people coming in, sharing with us, and helping others in a world that, by and large, doesn't seem to care if we come or go, so long as we do it away from them.
I like to think of this place as like the restaurant Chotchkies from Office Space:

People come here for the atmosphere, and the attitude.

But I really don't like to think I am putting anyone off, or not welcoming them.

I sowwy. :smallfrown:

[theangelJean]

Re flirting: while I can see how it might make some people uncomfortable, I don't think that means the flirting itself is actually bad.

My reasoning is that it's like if I were to go to a large team sporting event: everyone would be shouting. I personally would experience that as physical discomfort. Does that mean they should stop? No. They're not trying to exclude me, in fact some of them are probably trying to be welcoming and inclusive, it's just not my thing.

Yes, it's important to be inclusive and not exclusive, but different things will be more or less comfortable for different people and you can't please everyone. If the attempt at cameraderie were a "boys' club" kind of making lots of sexist jokes, that would be exclusive and worth putting a stop to. But generalised consensual flirting (and hugs, and cake, and biting), in a thread about sexuality? I guess you could make a case for saying it might discourage asexuality. Personally, I just watch in amusement and comment when I think I can be relevant.

On the other hand, I think it would be possible for the thread to remain welcoming and comforting without the person-specific flirting. At any rate, don't let me tell you what to do :)

[SiuiS]

Flirting and 'in' jokes:

Personally, I like the atmosphere in here a lot. It was a big part if why I came in, made myself comfortable, and joined Lixies harem.
If we take that feeling of being open and welcoming to everyone away, we wouldn't have had 35 previous threads of people coming in, sharing with us, and helping others in a world that, by and large, doesn't seem to care if we come or go, so long as we do it away from them.
I like to think of this place as like the restaurant Chotchkies from Office Space:


But I really don't like to think I am putting anyone off, or not welcoming them.

I sowwy. :smallfrown:

It is important to note that flirting and in-jokes are not the welcoming atmosphere, but symptoms of that welcoming atmosphere.

[Mina Kobold]

Is it wrong to be not just irritated, but terribly disheartened when a professed ally refuses to acknowledge that by referring to me, a bisexual cis-male, as "girly" because of a few typically feminine-coded behaviors, she's helping reinforce a gender binary, which she professes not to support, and refuses to understand how that could possibly be a bad thing? (Just to clarify here, I'm not averse to being identified with feminine-coded behaviors, but am sad that she can't be made to recognize how problematic it is to code behaviors so simplistically, or even to even teasingly use it as an insult...)

On the plus side, I'm now officially done with high school! Commencement on Saturday, and then I'm completely and totally done!

Edit: MY AVATAR WORKS SORT OF NOW! YAYYYYYYYYYY :smallbiggrin:

I don't think so, it is something that is important to you and by not considering your issue a real one, they kind of dismiss you. Feeling disheartened that someone professes to be against a binary, yet still codes things within that binary sounds pretty reasonable to me. ^_^'



Try checking Kathmandu sometime. Last time I was in there I saw a *cargo skirt*!
Knee length skirt or a little shorter, with as many pockets as cargo pants!

I checked their sites and I can't find it! But I really want to see that, even if I probably could not get one right now. D:


Re. Cliques:

Sadly I have to echo what some of the other infrequent posters have said. When I post here I always feel like I'm part of an outgroup, and I can never really shake the feeling as such I tend not to post here very much. :smallfrown:

Hi, celtois! I missed seeing you around.

I actually kind of thought of you as much more into the group when I was still new. You seemed really knowledgeable and your avatar is really neat, which I admit doesn't make much sense as a factor, but I stand behind the knowledgeable claim. :smallsmile:

But sorry for making you feel out-grouped! It is not intentional and at least I would like to see more of your posts. If you want to post more, that is. ^_^


On an unrelated and less contentious note, I find same sex couples so much more adorable than comparable heterosexual couples, and I don't know why. I mean, I like seeing any two people being affectionate, but seeing two guys or two girls cuddling is more likely to make me squee.

I tend to find same-sex couples more adorable than heterosexual ones because they are much rarer in fiction. Particularly in mainstream fiction. A bit like how, in a room filled with puppies on every surface, a single kitten would seem much more precious and adorable. ^_^

It may be completely different from you, though, but I hope it helps a bit. ^_^'

It would also mean that a couple or more than a couple of people outside the gender binary would seem even more adorable, but I sadly have not had the chance to test that. Curse you, mainstream fiction! Curse you! :smallmad::smalltongue:

[hoverfrog]

On an unrelated and less contentious note, I find same sex couples so much more adorable than comparable heterosexual couples, and I don't know why. I mean, I like seeing any two people being affectionate, but seeing two guys or two girls cuddling is more likely to make me squee.

On which note, does anyone have a good gay romantic novel they could recommend me? Preferably in a science fiction setting.Love is love whether it is between the same sex or different sexes.

I can't recommend any literature (because I don't know of any) but Battlestar Galactica spin off, Caprica, had a gay couple who were portrayed as decidedly "normal" rather than the "token queers", the "comedy poofs", or the "pretty femmes" which was a refreshing change for how the popular media treats non-hetero relationships.

[Mono Vertigo]

On cliquishness: on the one hand, I've never felt excluded because there's almost always the opportunity to jump in and have fun with the in-jokes. Most cliques I've encountered are much more closed than that.
On the other hand, I understand the feeling, especially about the flirting. That I can't join in, mostly because it leaves me completely indifferent (being on the asexual spectrum and all that). I've never really commented on it because I felt like it had more to do with me being socially-challenged in all the domains that had to do with attraction, much like a conversation about baseball would completely fail to interest someone who dislikes sports.
So, I personally don't mind it, but I understand why others can be put-off by that, and in fact, it surprises me a bit. Maybe I'm not as socially-challenged as I thought?


Is it wrong to be not just irritated, but terribly disheartened when a professed ally refuses to acknowledge that by referring to me, a bisexual cis-male, as "girly" because of a few typically feminine-coded behaviors, she's helping reinforce a gender binary, which she professes not to support, and refuses to understand how that could possibly be a bad thing? (Just to clarify here, I'm not averse to being identified with feminine-coded behaviors, but am sad that she can't be made to recognize how problematic it is to code behaviors so simplistically, or even to even teasingly use it as an insult...)

On the plus side, I'm now officially done with high school! Commencement on Saturday, and then I'm completely and totally done!

Edit: MY AVATAR WORKS SORT OF NOW! YAYYYYYYYYYY :smallbiggrin:
Congratulations with the end of high school, I've always personally considered it as one of the circles of Hell. :smallbiggrin:

On that ally: no, it's quite normal, I suggest you talk to her about it. She might not do it intentionally.
But that bring me to another point... I tend to describe myself as a girl who's not girly (though I generally add "stereotypically" in front of "girly"), and I'm also very much against the gender binary. It only strikes me now that it might be a problem. :smalleek: Is it?

[SiuiS]

On cliquishness: on the one hand, I've never felt excluded because there's almost always the opportunity to jump in and have fun with the in-jokes. Most cliques I've encountered are much more closed than that.
On the other hand, I understand the feeling, especially about the flirting. That I can't join in, mostly because it leaves me completely indifferent (being on the asexual spectrum and all that). I've never really commented on it because I felt like it had more to do with me being socially-challenged in all the domains that had to do with attraction, much like a conversation about baseball would completely fail to interest someone who dislikes sports.
So, I personally don't mind it, but I understand why others can be put-off by that, and in fact, it surprises me a bit. Maybe I'm not as socially-challenged as I thought?


Congratulations with the end of high school, I've always personally considered it as one of the circles of Hell. :smallbiggrin:

On that ally: no, it's quite normal, I suggest you talk to her about it. She might not do it intentionally.
But that bring me to another point... I tend to describe myself as a girl who's not girly (though I generally add "stereotypically" in front of "girly"), and I'm also very much against the gender binary. It only strikes me now that it might be a problem. :smalleek: Is it?

I continue to believe that the gender binary is not a problem, but enforcement of it, punishment for deviating from it, and and having a 'lesser caste' involved is a problem.

I have no problems with Girly or Manly, except where they are used to mean inferior or superior.

[Mono Vertigo]

Meh, I continue to believe the lack of gender binary would do more good than its presence, even without the specific issues you mentioned.



Unrelated: BF got us a matching set of mugs, Top Gear-themed, and he made the pictures on them. We needed silly mugs so badly! <3
We've become crazy about Top Gear even though we still don't really like cars. It's been determined Hammond must be hidden close in BF's genealogical tree, a close friend of our stands in for Clarkson except he likes Mother Nature, and I'm Captain Slow, but with decent fashion sense, and a very good direction sense, and I go much faster when I am to be driving slowly (as an aside, that's a pretty useless superpower), so not actually like May at all, but what the hell.
Somewhat more related to this thread is that he's rediscovered the strange world of fandom slash. If you'd told our 14-year-old-selves we would be kinda shipping middle-aged, homely british men from a car show, we would have laughed at your face.

[noparlpf]

Unrelated: BF got us a matching set of mugs, Top Gear-themed, and he made the pictures on them. We needed silly mugs so badly! <3
We've become crazy about Top Gear even though we still don't really like cars. It's been determined Hammond must be hidden close in BF's genealogical tree, a close friend of our stands in for Clarkson except he likes Mother Nature, and I'm Captain Slow, but with decent fashion sense, and a very good direction sense, and I go much faster when I am to be driving slowly (as an aside, that's a pretty useless superpower), so not actually like May at all, but what the hell.
Somewhat more related to this thread is that he's rediscovered the strange world of fandom slash. If you'd told our 14-year-old-selves we would be kinda shipping middle-aged, homely british men from a car show, we would have laughed at your face.

That is a rather unusual sort of thing to ship...

[Mono Vertigo]

That is a rather unusual sort of thing to ship...
You've not seen the darkest corners of the Internet then.
(Friendly advice: don't seek the darkest corners of the Internet.)
It's not so much shipping as us being terribly amused by it. After the 100% fictional characters and the characters played by real people, we've got... slight caricatures of real people, who sometimes throw gay subtext we can and DO run away with.

[noparlpf]

You've not seen the darkest corners of the Internet then.
(Friendly advice: don't seek the darkest corners of the Internet.)
It's not so much shipping as us being terribly amused by it. After the 100% fictional characters and the characters played by real people, we've got... slight caricatures of real people, who sometimes throw gay subtext we can and DO run away with.

I've forgotten the second-weirdest ship I've ever seen (darn it), but the weirdest I've seen was Ed from Cowboy Bebop (http://cowboybebop.wikia.com/wiki/Edward) with Felix the Cat (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Felix_the_Cat).
In general I do try to avoid those corners of the internet, but I end up there periodically anyway because I have a bad habit of clicking links that look dangerous.

[Lea Plath]

So, I found that article and checked it.

It was refering to Gender Identity Disorder being equally common in both genders. I'm trying to dig up the data now.

But first. *grabs Musashi to drag off to the dark corners of the internet and chew*

[Lentrax]

I have no problems with Girly or Manly, except where they are used to mean inferior or superior.

I tend to think of myself as a not very manly man who has an inner girly man who likes to come out and play.

Of course I also have an inner girl who likes to over analyze everything I do, an inner manly man who tries to get the rest of my inner mes into shape, and a few others who are just plain weird...

[The Succubus]

Meh, I continue to believe the lack of gender binary would do more good than its presence, even without the specific issues you mentioned.



Unrelated: BF got us a matching set of mugs, Top Gear-themed, and he made the pictures on them. We needed silly mugs so badly! <3
We've become crazy about Top Gear even though we still don't really like cars. It's been determined Hammond must be hidden close in BF's genealogical tree, a close friend of our stands in for Clarkson except he likes Mother Nature, and I'm Captain Slow, but with decent fashion sense, and a very good direction sense, and I go much faster when I am to be driving slowly (as an aside, that's a pretty useless superpower), so not actually like May at all, but what the hell.
Somewhat more related to this thread is that he's rediscovered the strange world of fandom slash. If you'd told our 14-year-old-selves we would be kinda shipping middle-aged, homely british men from a car show, we would have laughed at your face.

Never has a post moved so quickly from adorable to disturbing slash pairings. ^_^

[Lentrax]

Never has a post moved so quickly from adorable to disturbing slash pairings. ^_^

You forgot to add in creepy, weird, and bizarre.

[celtois]

On which note, does anyone have a good gay romantic novel they could recommend me? Preferably in a science fiction setting.

It's not a romance novel, and I've recommended it before on this thread.
But two of leading male characters in the Falcon Banner series are part of a quite cute couple. The novels are hard to find being as they were self published, but 75% of the first book was converted to an audio drama by Darker projects, and be listened to there for FREE, if you want a taste. Link: http://www.darkerprojects.com/falconbanner.php

Its a neat space operaesque series, but the series has some LGBT content.



Hmm. Well, I've always like your posts. And your avatar.

Perhaps it is similar to reaction to generic pet names? I call everyone some version of luv/hon/sweetie/friend, and some people seem to take it as mockery. Perhaps some people just take the flirting in a different light?

Thank you. The Avatar was heavily LGBT inspired. :smallsmile:

It is possible that something similar to that is occurring for others. I cannot comment, though because I don't believe that's what happened to me.

I've been thinking a bit about it, and I used to really be drawn the the flirty back and forth of threads like these. I used to be super flirtatious online. (I think this was before I ran into this thread.) Perhaps a combination of being in a comfortable relationship, and a number of bad experiences from back when I used to be super flirtatious that I thought hadn't affected me, had a greater impact that I thought. Anyway. For some reason my internet persona has changed dramatically.


Flirting and 'in' jokes:

Personally, I like the atmosphere in here a lot. It was a big part if why I came in, made myself comfortable, and joined Lixies harem.
If we take that feeling of being open and welcoming to everyone away, we wouldn't have had 35 previous threads of people coming in, sharing with us, and helping others in a world that, by and large, doesn't seem to care if we come or go, so long as we do it away from them.
I like to think of this place as like the restaurant Chotchkies from Office Space:


But I really don't like to think I am putting anyone off, or not welcoming them.

I sowwy. :smallfrown:

Maybe its important to find a balance between the two, where there is an open inviting atmosphere of very friendly people, without it feeling closed off. (How I don't know)

Or maybe y'all shouldn't worry about it to much, a lot of people do enjoy the atmosphere. And while some people find it daunting, its impossible to find a balance where everyone gets exactly what they want.



Hi, celtois! I missed seeing you around.

I actually kind of thought of you as much more into the group when I was still new. You seemed really knowledgeable and your avatar is really neat, which I admit doesn't make much sense as a factor, but I stand behind the knowledgeable claim. :smallsmile:

But sorry for making you feel out-grouped! It is not intentional and at least I would like to see more of your posts. If you want to post more, that is. ^_^

Hi Keveak, I'm pretty much a ghost everywhere nowadays I'm afraid. It is nice to see people again.

I think to some extent I was more integrated into the group back then...but I think I still felt like a bit of an outsider whenever I dropped in to offer LGBT relevant news or advice. Thanks for your kind words :smallsmile:

Don't worry I know people don't intend to do so. That's why its good to have a discussion like this so collectively we can think about possible unintended consequences of the atmosphere.

Regarding posting more. It seems unlikely my post frequency will increase much regardless of any atmosphere changes on the thread, I'm very busy offline.

I know I missed replying to a couple posts, but I'm out of time five minutes ago, I need to grab breakfast and go to work. Have a nice day all. :smallsmile:

EDIT: As an additional thought while my oatmeal cooks, it is possible that some people feel like an outgroup, not because of the flirting per say, but because they aren't involved in it. Ie. they feel like they aren't included because aren't flirting with them. I think at some point I felt that way, perhaps back when I was more active here. I felt less included because of that.

Good grief I sound like a grumpy old man and I'm not even twenty yet. "Back in my day, when I was your age."

PS. Keveak was your old avatar a Kobold?

[Philemonite]

I tend to think of myself as a not very manly man who has an inner girly man who likes to come out and play.

Of course I also have an inner girl who likes to over analyze everything I do, an inner manly man who tries to get the rest of my inner mes into shape, and a few others who are just plain weird...

That reminds me of the voices in my head.:smalltongue:

Well, I've never been manly(never got the talking about cars, watching sports and spiting thing), but I don't think I'm girly either.

[The Succubus]

You forgot to add in creepy, weird, and bizarre.

Put it like this - when I'm an old(er) man, laying on my deathbed with friends and family, I'm fairly certain my final thoughts won't be "Gosh, I really wish I'd read Jeremy Clarkson/James May erotic fiction."

[The Rose Dragon]

Now I kind of want to read Brian May / Freddie Mercury slash fiction.

Curse you, internet.

[Mono Vertigo]

Heh, sorry. We're weird. And BF is mad enough to take a look at the fandom, not I. He tends to do that. I mean, he regularly visits 4chan so that I don't have to.
Succubus, stop making me laugh like a madwoman. It's scaring the cat.


Now I kind of want to read Brian May / Freddie Mercury slash fiction.

Curse you, internet.

I suppose I have to assume some responsibility for this. Again.

[noparlpf]

Good grief I sound like a grumpy old man and I'm not even twenty yet. "Back in my day, when I was your age."

My favorite way to criticise things teenagers do that I dislike is to say, "back in my day," or, "when I was a boy..."
For the record I am barely nineteen.

[The Rose Dragon]

I suppose I have to assume some responsibility for this. Again.

That happen to you often, then?

[Lentrax]

Put it like this - when I'm an old(er) man, laying on my deathbed with friends and family, I'm fairly certain my final thoughts won't be "Gosh, I really wish I'd read Jeremy Clarkson/James May erotic fiction."

Well the entire thing would just be something like (and heavily paraphrasing here):

Jeremy dashed to his Lancia hoping to be the first to arrive at the bedroom, and sped away screaming "POWWWWWER!" at the top of his lungs.

Meanwhile, I strolled over to my much more sensible Mercedes C class and after doing a thourough checking that everything was in order, spent the next five hours lost in London, becuse I couldn't find a bus going the right way.

Or something like that. :smalltongue:

[SiuiS]

I've been thinking a bit about it, and I used to really be drawn the the flirty back and forth of threads like these. I used to be super flirtatious online. (I think this was before I ran into this thread.) Perhaps a combination of being in a comfortable relationship, and a number of bad experiences from back when I used to be super flirtatious that I thought hadn't affected me, had a greater impact that I thought. Anyway. For some reason my internet persona has changed dramatically.

I can get behind that, yeah.



Good grief I sound like a grumpy old man and I'm not even twenty yet. "Back in my day, when I was your age."

... I hate you. :smallannoyed:
*gets bopped and put in the Needlessly Jealous Corner*
Heeeey D:

Yeah I deserved that.


Well the entire thing would just be something like (and heavily paraphrasing here):

Jeremy dashed to his Lancia hoping to be the first to arrive at the bedroom, and sped away screaming "POWWWWWER!" at the top of his lungs.

Meanwhile, I strolled over to my much more sensible Mercedes C class and after doing a thourough checking that everything was in order, spent the next five hours lost in London, becuse I couldn't find a bus going the right way.

Or something like that. :smalltongue:

Fantastic.

[Lentrax]

Glad you approve. :smallamused:

[The Succubus]

... I hate you. :smallannoyed:
*gets bopped and put in the Needlessly Jealous Corner*
Heeeey D:

*joins Sius in the Old People's corner* These no good punk kids and their internets, eh...?

[Eirala]

First, hooray for progress! As of today same sex "married" (it's still called civil union ("eingetragene Lebenspartnerschaft") instead of marriage) couples in germany get the same tax benefits as opposite sex married couples! :smallbiggrin:
I love how things develop in so many countries :smallsmile:



It would be nice to hear how other people found out...

The two deciding events for me were my first time "crossdressing" (as i thought at that time), which i wanted to do for ages, where i just felt like i was "me" for the first time in my life and it was indescribably awesome.
A year without thinking about things like gender and self discovery later (my mind was kinda occupied during that time thanks to a horrific relationship with a psychpath) i got more and more depressed until i just couldn't go on like that any more and began thinking. It took me only a few hours to realize i might be trans*, and i'm not just depressed because of my first relationship (i thought i might have a psychological trauma), so it was kinda like an epiphany ^^

As many already mentioned, experimenting is the way to go. That doesn't have to include dressing as the opposite sex, even if it is probably the most popular way of people finding out that they are trans*. Every person is different, just try out things you want.
As already mentioned, the internet might also be a great place to start. I for one always preferred female characters in video games for example, but never thought about it. In hindsight this was one of the many signs though, so something i would recommend the most is: observe yourself, and think about yourself.

And preferrably don't rush things like i did. I went from the realization of possibly being trans* to going out in (overly) girly clothes (stupid older me) in only 2 weeks or so, and let me tell you that was not fun at all dealing with so much stress at once. Just take your time figuring yourself out.

[Irish Musician]

In general I do try to avoid those corners of the internet, but I end up there periodically anyway because I have a bad habit of clicking links that look dangerous.
We need to go to CA, the both of us......Clickers Anonymous :smallamused:

Heh, sorry. We're weird. And BF is mad enough to take a look at the fandom, not I. He tends to do that. I mean, he regularly visits 4chan so that I don't have to.
Succubus, stop making me laugh like a madwoman. It's scaring the cat.
One, 4chan *shudder*
Two, I too scare my cats with my laugh. But mine sounds more like evil genius with a Cheshire Cat smile :smallsmile:

*joins Sius in the Old People's corner* These no good punk kids and their internets, eh...?
Back in my day we didn't have all this "Fiber-Opics"....no sir. We had to use Dial-up.....in the snow.....uphill both ways.....while being chased by wolves......and bunnies with big, nasty, pointy teeth.
Well that joke went a weird way, didn't it?


First, hooray for progress! As of today same sex "married" (it's still called civil union ("eingetragene Lebenspartnerschaft") instead of marriage) couples in germany get the same tax benefits as opposite sex married couples! :smallbiggrin:
I love how things develop in so many countries :smallsmile:
WHHHHHOOOO!!!!!!!!!! :smallbiggrin:

~Matthew~

[Eldest]

The two deciding events for me were my first time "crossdressing" (as i thought at that time), which i wanted to do for ages, where i just felt like i was "me" for the first time in my life and it was indescribably awesome.
A year without thinking about things like gender and self discovery later (my mind was kinda occupied during that time thanks to a horrific relationship with a psychpath) i got more and more depressed until i just couldn't go on like that any more and began thinking. It took me only a few hours to realize i might be trans*, and i'm not just depressed because of my first relationship (i thought i might have a psychological trauma), so it was kinda like an epiphany ^^

:smallconfused::smalleek:
*hugs*
Good that you figured out more about yourself from it, bad that it happened.

[SiuiS]

*joins Sius in the Old People's corner* These no good punk kids and their internets, eh...?

Kinda. I'm more just baffled and borderline depressed that people actually have home-life infrastructure that lets them discover these sorts of things early enough to be old hands before twenty. I remember when the Internet was first becoming a thing, and now there are kids who... Man. To have been born just ten years later.

Ah well. As Corwin says, let it be, let it go. What I've lost in time I've gained in character.


First, hooray for progress! As of today same sex "married" (it's still called civil union ("eingetragene Lebenspartnerschaft") instead of marriage) couples in germany get the same tax benefits as opposite sex married couples! :smallbiggrin:
I love how things develop in so many countries :smallsmile:


I don't understand how every culture ever can unanimously go "you can have an identical arrangement, but you have to call it something else so people don't confuse you with normal folks". It's actually impressive that all of human society can sort of unite behind this one thing, even if they do so by being ********.




The two deciding events for me were my first time "crossdressing" (as i thought at that time), which i wanted to do for ages, where i just felt like i was "me" for the first time in my life and it was indescribably awesome.
A year without thinking about things like gender and self discovery later (my mind was kinda occupied during that time thanks to a horrific relationship with a psychpath) i got more and more depressed until i just couldn't go on like that any more and began thinking. It took me only a few hours to realize i might be trans*, and i'm not just depressed because of my first relationship (i thought i might have a psychological trauma), so it was kinda like an epiphany ^^

I was against cross dressing, oddly enough.



Back in my day we didn't have all this "Fiber-Opics"....no sir. We had to use Dial-up.....in the snow.....uphill both ways.....on a party line...and had to hope no one was expecting a call... Or grandma didn't send a fax...

Fixed her for ya! :smallwink:

[Irish Musician]

Fixed her for ya! :smallwink:
Haha thanks, that joke wandered out the door and kept going. Thanks for keeping me in line :smalltongue:

EDIT: A Funny comic I just read on the whole girly/manly thing. Incidentally it made me giggle in a fairly girly manner....:smallsmile:
http://www.girlswithslingshots.com/comics/1370492691-GWS1636.jpg

~Matthew~

[Eirala]

:smallconfused::smalleek:
*hugs*
Good that you figured out more about yourself from it, bad that it happened.
*hugs back*

I'm actually kinda glad it happened. My character and self-confidence developed so much in this one year, i wouldn't want to miss it :smallbiggrin:
Also, she was the one who provided several dresses so that i had the chance to crossdress. Also because of my character development, i think she helped me in not only one but two ways to find myself :) And she had some really awesome dresses :3
*refrains from posting a picture to not seem like an attention whore*


I don't understand how every culture ever can unanimously go "you can have an identical arrangement, but you have to call it something else so people don't confuse you with normal folks". It's actually impressive that all of human society can sort of unite behind this one thing, even if they do so by being ********.
Me neither :smallconfused: I don't see the current situation as "equality", even if it is much better than several years ago. At least things improve, and i hope in the very near future this will also be addressed.



I was against cross dressing, oddly enough.
Huh.

---

In a few hours i'll see an operetta ^.^ Though i'm kinda down at the moment, because i told my mum i'm thinking about wearing the new dress. She tried to bring as many arguments against the idea as she could :smallsigh:
I think i was able to tell her how her arguments are not really valid ("but the people will look" and such things, which she seems to think never occured to me. I only think about these things about every time i leave the house after all.), but yeah. Even though it's often exhausting and also depressing, at least i'm able to change her mind and she at least tries to be supportive. Most of the time.
Could use some more hugs though :smallfrown:

[Philemonite]

*refrains from posting a picture to not seem like an attention whore*

---

In a few hours i'll see an operetta ^.^ Though i'm kinda down at the moment, because i told my mum i'm thinking about wearing the new dress. She tried to bring as many arguments against the idea as she could :smallsigh:
I think i was able to tell her how her arguments are not really valid ("but the people will look" and such things, which she seems to think never occured to me. I only think about these things about every time i leave the house after all.), but yeah. Even though it's often exhausting and also depressing, at least i'm able to change her mind and she at least tries to be supportive. Most of the time.
Could use some more hugs though :smallfrown:

We want a picture.:smalltongue:
Hugs.

[Lady Serpentine]

Ah well. As Corwin says, let it be, let it go. What I've lost in time I've gained in character.

Huh, I didn't know you'd read Amber. Neat!


I don't understand how every culture ever can unanimously go "you can have an identical arrangement, but you have to call it something else so people don't confuse you with normal folks". It's actually impressive that all of human society can sort of unite behind this one thing, even if they do so by being ********.

I prefer to think of it as 'if we call it marriage, the churches and such will have a fit, so we'll just give you all of the rights* while we work on bringing them around, alright?'. But that's probably me being overly optimistic.

Also, sometimes I love my friends. This was in my Facebook feed today:


I used the term "intersex" in class today and my professor told me I meant hermaphrodite. No. I'm sorry, but no. You cannot correct me for being politically correct. There is a lot of stigma attached to the latter term, and as a psychologist and teacher I think there's a certain level of professional obligation to make that clear. I understand that it is difficult to keep up with the evolution of language, but if you're going to teach a class on the subject (especially when for many people this will be the only time they receive any education on the matter) isn't it sort of important to discuss how these terms might be offensive in real life?

*'All' is a gross oversimplification, of course, but you get the idea.

[The Succubus]

In a few hours i'll see an operetta ^.^ Though i'm kinda down at the moment, because i told my mum i'm thinking about wearing the new dress. She tried to bring as many arguments against the idea as she could :smallsigh:
I think i was able to tell her how her arguments are not really valid ("but the people will look" and such things, which she seems to think never occured to me. I only think about these things about every time i leave the house after all.), but yeah. Even though it's often exhausting and also depressing, at least i'm able to change her mind and she at least tries to be supportive. Most of the time.
Could use some more hugs though :smallfrown:

*hugs*

Would this be the rather gorgeous dress you were modelling in the last thread? I daresay a few folks might shoot admiring glances in your direction. :smallredface:

If nothing else, it's *opera*. You're supposed to dress for the occasion, so go for it! :smallsmile:

[The Rose Dragon]

Just to be sure, intersex and hermaphrodite are different biological concepts. Referring to an actual hermaphrodite organism (such as a flower or a nematode) is wrong, and needs to be corrected.

[Lady Serpentine]

Just to be sure, intersex and hermaphrodite are different biological concepts. Referring to an actual hermaphrodite organism (such as a flower or a nematode) is wrong, and needs to be corrected.

True. Given who posted this, though, and the context there, I'm pretty sure she wasn't talking about that sort of thing. :smallsmile:

[Eirala]

We want a picture.:smalltongue:
Hugs.
Well okay then. This was until 2 days ago my favourite dress:
http://i.imgur.com/OxaMM3e.jpg
But i think i like the new one more :smallwink:


*hugs*

Would this be the rather gorgeous dress you were modelling in the last thread? I daresay a few folks might shoot admiring glances in your direction. :smallredface:

If nothing else, it's *opera*. You're supposed to dress for the occasion, so go for it! :smallsmile:

Yes, the red and white dress i recently posted is the one i think about wearing. It wouldn't fit perfectly though, since:
a) it would hang down a bit on the left side and reveal the (empty <.<) bra
b) i still have no ladies' shoes, which won't matter that much since i'll be sitting most of the evening ^_^
and c) it's rather long so i'd have to hold it while walking, but i'd be willing to do that.

I'd just have gone for it, but my mom managed to get me down, so...i'm still thinking about it.

And thanks for the hugs, you two :smallsmile: *nice and long hug back*

[Lentrax]

That, Tanail, is gorgeous.

[Lady Serpentine]

Oooh, pretty!

*offers hugs to Tanail as well*

[Eldest]

*hugs back*

I'm actually kinda glad it happened. My character and self-confidence developed so much in this one year, i wouldn't want to miss it :smallbiggrin:
Also, she was the one who provided several dresses so that i had the chance to crossdress. Also because of my character development, i think she helped me in not only one but two ways to find myself :) And she had some really awesome dresses :3
*refrains from posting a picture to not seem like an attention whore*


Me neither :smallconfused: I don't see the current situation as "equality", even if it is much better than several years ago. At least things improve, and i hope in the very near future this will also be addressed.


Huh.

---

In a few hours i'll see an operetta ^.^ Though i'm kinda down at the moment, because i told my mum i'm thinking about wearing the new dress. She tried to bring as many arguments against the idea as she could :smallsigh:
I think i was able to tell her how her arguments are not really valid ("but the people will look" and such things, which she seems to think never occured to me. I only think about these things about every time i leave the house after all.), but yeah. Even though it's often exhausting and also depressing, at least i'm able to change her mind and she at least tries to be supportive. Most of the time.
Could use some more hugs though :smallfrown:

*more hugs*
Pics!
Wait, you posted some.
More pics!

[Philemonite]

Pretty dress... looks good:smallbiggrin:

[The Succubus]

Well okay then. This was until 2 days ago my favourite dress:
http://i.imgur.com/OxaMM3e.jpg
But i think i like the new one more :smallwink:

Holy crap, your hair is *amazing* in that photo! :smalleek::smallbiggrin:

The red dress is pretty as well and it does seem to fit your current figure a little better. Not sure about the lacey gloves though but then I kinda failed my Feminine Fashion A-Level. >.>

[mistformsquirrl]

<._.> Am I horribly wrong for focusing on those gloves? Cause they are awesomesauce. (The whole thing is great, but I loooooove the black lace gloves! <^o^>)

[Irish Musician]

Well okay then. This was until 2 days ago my favourite dress:
http://i.imgur.com/OxaMM3e.jpg
But i think i like the new one more :smallwink:
I....uh......Ooohhhh myyyyyyy :smallredface:

The dress, the gloves, the pose......gorgeous.

~Matthew~

[Lady Serpentine]

<._.> Am I horribly wrong for focusing on those gloves? Cause they are awesomesauce. (The whole thing is great, but I loooooove the black lace gloves! <^o^>)

No. The gloves are, in fact, awesome.

[SiuiS]

Huh, I didn't know you'd read Amber. Neat!


I still jokingly refer to it as my bible.



I prefer to think of it as 'if we call it marriage, the churches and such will have a fit, so we'll just give you all of the rights* while we work on bringing them around, alright?'. But that's probably me being overly optimistic.


Mm. I have comments, but I've promised the Mods not to make them.


Well okay then. This was until 2 days ago my favourite dress:
http://i.imgur.com/OxaMM3e.jpg
But i think i like the new one more :smallwink:


Holy expletive adjective. I can't even make a tacky joke.
How did you learn to do your hair?


Holy crap, your hair is *amazing* in that photo! :smalleek::smallbiggrin:

The red dress is pretty as well and it does seem to fit your current figure a little better. Not sure about the lacey gloves though but then I kinda failed my Feminine Fashion A-Level. >.>

Red and black contrast gets a little burlesque, or cabaret, or whatnot (leemelone, I'm sleepy), but the satin sheen and the lace are classic. They don't beat good old fashioned opera gloves, but one works with what one has, and I suspect She's doing smashing for her budget – not to imply she is only well dressed by low standards of course.

Man. That hair... I tried something like that once...
I can't even French braid mine without maybe losing a finger or twa. So covetous.


<._.> Am I horribly wrong for focusing on those gloves? Cause they are awesomesauce. (The whole thing is great, but I loooooove the black lace gloves! <^o^>)

I've been desensitized to black lace by Hot Topic as Rocky Horror Picture Show.

[Jormengand]

The CofE have seen sense! Yaaaay! (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/religion/10101900/Church-of-England-gives-up-fight-against-gay-marriage.html)

So, how are we all today?

[Lady Serpentine]

Mm. I have comments, but I've promised the Mods not to make them.


I said 'I prefer to think of it that way', not 'that's what's going on' for a reason, yes. Got enough stuff making me depressed in other ways, y'know? :smallfrown:

[Astrella]

@Tanail, that's great news.

Also both you and that dress are really pretty... >.>

I want to get a dress of my own now, but I'm afraid I'd just look silly in one cause I'm so tall. >.<


The CofE have seen sense! Yaaaay! (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/religion/10101900/Church-of-England-gives-up-fight-against-gay-marriage.html)

That's great news!

[golentan]

Tanail, are you possibly looking for a date? :smallredface:

Honestly, I like your old favorite dress a bit more, but the new one is also gorgeous.

[Karen Lynn]

*hugs Tanail* more pics? You are beautiful. o.o

Hugs for all, as I have just awoken, and brain refuses to remember details. All are welcome, and somebody here... *browses back* Matthew! For posting a GwS comic! I hereby sentence you! *lick*

[Irish Musician]

*browses back* Matthew! For posting a GwS comic! I hereby sentence you! *lick*
I love GwS :smallredface:

[The Succubus]

Tanail, are you possibly looking for a date? :smallredface:

Honestly, I like your old favorite dress a bit more, but the new one is also gorgeous.

Pistols at dawn for the hand of Tanail? :smallamused:

(Water pistols only :smallwink:)

[SiuiS]

Pistols at dawn for the hand of Tanail? :smallamused:

(Water pistols only :smallwink:)

No, man, no! Read Golly's sig quote!

[Karen Lynn]

*watches brewing water pistol fight between Golly and Succubus*
*builds trebuchet*
*fills with water balloons*
*waits for location to be announced*

[golentan]

Pistols at dawn for the hand of Tanail? :smallamused:

(Water pistols only :smallwink:)

Can't we go as a group?

[Irish Musician]

*sneaks in, throws Tanail over shoulder, runs off*

>.>

<.<

>.>

[golentan]

*Sigh*

And here I thought gender relations had at least progressed beyond the "kidnapping as romance" phase. :smalltongue:

[Chess435]

Yays, new thread! Anyways as for me, things have been okay. Didn't get the job, but mom got some work, been busy the last couple days scrubbing the house clean to get ready to move, so I haven't been able to get on a lot. (Sorry about that.) Today I get to rest a bit, but gotta head home and get back to work in an hour or so.

[Irish Musician]

*Sigh*

And here I thought gender relations had at least progressed beyond the "kidnapping as romance" phase. :smalltongue:
*hits Golentan in the head with a club*
Many armed one quiet now.....


:smalltongue:

[The Succubus]

Yays, new thread! Anyways as for me, things have been okay. Didn't get the job, but mom got some work, been busy the last couple days scrubbing the house clean to get ready to move, so I haven't been able to get on a lot. (Sorry about that.) Today I get to rest a bit, but gotta head home and get back to work in an hour or so.

Good to hear things are settling down for you. =)

[SiuiS]

*hits Golentan in the head with a club*
Many armed one quiet now.....


:smalltongue:

Careful about hitting people, mate. That's a trigger I've been called out on.

[Mina Kobold]

*hits Golentan in the head with a club*
Many armed one quiet now.....


:smalltongue:

A-are we going back to TV cave-ancestor times? Eep, I don't want t-RAAAAR!

*Turns into cave-dragon, noms Irish*

Rawr! ^w^

Now returning to regularly scheduled LGBTAitp:

@Chess: Too bad about not getting the job, but congrats to the Chessparent! Take all the time away that you need, real life is arguably more important than silly threads. ^_^

[Irish Musician]

Careful about hitting people, mate. That's a trigger I've been called out on.
:smalleek:

A-are we going back to TV cave-ancestor times? Eep, I don't want t-RAAAAR!

*Turns into cave-dragon, noms Irish*

Rawr! ^w^
*is Nommed, legs hanging out of the cave-dragon*

[mistformsquirrl]

<-.-> Rambling ensues:

So today I went to counseling. Except not... it was just the intake interview - which I expected; but then after all was said and done I find out I don't actually get to go to counseling.

You know why? Because apparently I'm in such bad shape that I don't qualify for therapy. That's right folks, I'm too screwed up for therapy. Now on the one hand, they did give me the option to have a 'case manager' to un-screw me up so I can go to therapy, and that's good... but on the other hand it's kind of a kick in the teeth to be told (politely, but essentially) "You're too messed up to fix at present.")

Overall I'm OK - I had a nice lunch with my grandpa afterward so there's that; but I'm pretty ticked off that there is such a thing as "you can't go to therapy by dint of being messed up"; that seems ridiculous to me.

[Astrella]

<-.-> Rambling ensues:

So today I went to counseling. Except not... it was just the intake interview - which I expected; but then after all was said and done I find out I don't actually get to go to counseling.

You know why? Because apparently I'm in such bad shape that I don't qualify for therapy. That's right folks, I'm too screwed up for therapy. Now on the one hand, they did give me the option to have a 'case manager' to un-screw me up so I can go to therapy, and that's good... but on the other hand it's kind of a kick in the teeth to be told (politely, but essentially) "You're too messed up to fix at present.")

Overall I'm OK - I had a nice lunch with my grandpa afterward so there's that; but I'm pretty ticked off that there is such a thing as "you can't go to therapy by dint of being messed up"; that seems ridiculous to me.

Bleh, that sucks. :/
Let's hope the case manager might help though?

[noparlpf]

No, man, no! Read Golly's sig quote!

I am so happy this came up.


<-.-> Rambling ensues:

So today I went to counseling. Except not... it was just the intake interview - which I expected; but then after all was said and done I find out I don't actually get to go to counseling.

You know why? Because apparently I'm in such bad shape that I don't qualify for therapy. That's right folks, I'm too screwed up for therapy. Now on the one hand, they did give me the option to have a 'case manager' to un-screw me up so I can go to therapy, and that's good... but on the other hand it's kind of a kick in the teeth to be told (politely, but essentially) "You're too messed up to fix at present.")

Overall I'm OK - I had a nice lunch with my grandpa afterward so there's that; but I'm pretty ticked off that there is such a thing as "you can't go to therapy by dint of being messed up"; that seems ridiculous to me.

...what the heck. Go to a different place, that sounds ridiculous.

[mistformsquirrl]

...what the heck. Go to a different place, that sounds ridiculous.

Sadly, where I am, there is no other option. <_ _> So I'm going to try the case manager and hopefully that'll help.

[Philemonite]

Sadly, where I am, there is no other option. <_ _> So I'm going to try the case manager and hopefully that'll help.

Good luck Misty. Hugs.

[Lady Serpentine]

:smalleek:


It's not necessarily a common one, but I've been called on it as well...

*Hugs Mistform*

[The Succubus]

<-.-> Rambling ensues:

So today I went to counseling. Except not... it was just the intake interview - which I expected; but then after all was said and done I find out I don't actually get to go to counseling.

You know why? Because apparently I'm in such bad shape that I don't qualify for therapy. That's right folks, I'm too screwed up for therapy. Now on the one hand, they did give me the option to have a 'case manager' to un-screw me up so I can go to therapy, and that's good... but on the other hand it's kind of a kick in the teeth to be told (politely, but essentially) "You're too messed up to fix at present.")

Overall I'm OK - I had a nice lunch with my grandpa afterward so there's that; but I'm pretty ticked off that there is such a thing as "you can't go to therapy by dint of being messed up"; that seems ridiculous to me.

*hugs Misty*

Mrrr. Maybe a better way to look at it is - "my case is more complicated than usual, so I'm seeing a case manager so that he can be sure I'm getting the right treatment I need."

[Lix Lorn]

I'm going to air a bit of dissent here. A huge part of why I feel so comfortable airing my problems here is because of the atmosphere of camaraderie between longtime regulars. And yes, flirtatiousness is included there. To me, it builds a common framework, and an air of congeniality.
I know I'm a little late, but I really want to agree with this. There have been times where I've been feeling really down, and coming here and having everyone be friendly and flirty has made me feel much better.


Personally, I like the atmosphere in here a lot. It was a big part if why I came in, made myself comfortable, and joined Lixies harem.
I still have a harem?


We've become crazy about Top Gear even though we still don't really like cars.
There are people who watch Top Gear for cars? :smallconfused:


Put it like this - when I'm an old(er) man, laying on my deathbed with friends and family, I'm fairly certain my final thoughts won't be "Gosh, I really wish I'd read Jeremy Clarkson/James May erotic fiction."
Yes, because you took the chance to do it when you were young! :smalltongue:


Well the entire thing would just be something like (and heavily paraphrasing here):

Jeremy dashed to his Lancia hoping to be the first to arrive at the bedroom, and sped away screaming "POWWWWWER!" at the top of his lungs.

Meanwhile, I strolled over to my much more sensible Mercedes C class and after doing a thourough checking that everything was in order, spent the next five hours lost in London, becuse I couldn't find a bus going the right way.

Or something like that. :smalltongue:
WRITE MORE


<-.-> Rambling ensues:
(Hugs as tight as you like)

[Irish Musician]

<-.-> Rambling ensues:

So today I went to counseling. Except not... it was just the intake interview - which I expected; but then after all was said and done I find out I don't actually get to go to counseling.

You know why? Because apparently I'm in such bad shape that I don't qualify for therapy. That's right folks, I'm too screwed up for therapy. Now on the one hand, they did give me the option to have a 'case manager' to un-screw me up so I can go to therapy, and that's good... but on the other hand it's kind of a kick in the teeth to be told (politely, but essentially) "You're too messed up to fix at present.")

Overall I'm OK - I had a nice lunch with my grandpa afterward so there's that; but I'm pretty ticked off that there is such a thing as "you can't go to therapy by dint of being messed up"; that seems ridiculous to me.
Big 'ol burly hugz MS! :smallsmile:

*tackles the Lixie*

~Matthew~

[Lentrax]

*sneaks in, throws Tanail over shoulder, runs off*

>.>

<.<

>.>

*Chases IM in a hilarious silent movie chase scene.*


<-.-> Rambling ensues:

So today I went to counseling. Except not... it was just the intake interview - which I expected; but then after all was said and done I find out I don't actually get to go to counseling.

You know why? Because apparently I'm in such bad shape that I don't qualify for therapy. That's right folks, I'm too screwed up for therapy. Now on the one hand, they did give me the option to have a 'case manager' to un-screw me up so I can go to therapy, and that's good... but on the other hand it's kind of a kick in the teeth to be told (politely, but essentially) "You're too messed up to fix at present.")

Overall I'm OK - I had a nice lunch with my grandpa afterward so there's that; but I'm pretty ticked off that there is such a thing as "you can't go to therapy by dint of being messed up"; that seems ridiculous to me.

I. Wow... That's messed up.

Them, I mean. Not you. I like you.


I know I'm a little late, but I really want to agree with this. There have been times where I've been feeling really down, and coming here and having everyone be friendly and flirty has made me feel much better.


I still have a harem?

Yes.



WRITE MORE


(Hugs as tight as you like)

What, really?

[Mina Kobold]

<-.-> Rambling ensues:

So today I went to counseling. Except not... it was just the intake interview - which I expected; but then after all was said and done I find out I don't actually get to go to counseling.

You know why? Because apparently I'm in such bad shape that I don't qualify for therapy. That's right folks, I'm too screwed up for therapy. Now on the one hand, they did give me the option to have a 'case manager' to un-screw me up so I can go to therapy, and that's good... but on the other hand it's kind of a kick in the teeth to be told (politely, but essentially) "You're too messed up to fix at present.")

Overall I'm OK - I had a nice lunch with my grandpa afterward so there's that; but I'm pretty ticked off that there is such a thing as "you can't go to therapy by dint of being messed up"; that seems ridiculous to me.

Mrr, While I see the idea in offering extra resources or preparation for cases that are outside the stuff the standard therapy can promise to help with, the idea that you cannot decide on your own and that it is presented as "You're in too bad shape for therapy, you must get a case manager" (which sounds like telling the patient that they are too crazy for even normal crazy treatment, and that is not a very good viewpoint from the people who are supposed to be assisting you with your mental health. ._.) really creeps me. >_<

*Offers as many cave-dragon and Kobold hugs as you want*

I hope it turns out the case manager is super nice and can actually be of help! ^_^


I still have a harem?

Well, it can't be all harem-y on this forum, but I thought it had its own forum? I distinctly remember being turned into a catgirl and wanting to make a cake for an occasion. :3


Oh, and on the note of edibles;

*Swallows Matthew into a surprisingly well-furnished stomach for a cave-dragon*

X3

[Lix Lorn]

Yes.
Yay? xD


What, really?
Totally. If you can keep up that dry, sarcastic, very top-gear-british humour, it'd be the best thing. xD


Well, it can't be all harem-y on this forum, but I thought it had its own forum? I distinctly remember being turned into a catgirl and wanting to make a cake for an occasion. :3
No-one posts there anymore. :smallfrown:

[noparlpf]

Sadly, where I am, there is no other option. <_ _> So I'm going to try the case manager and hopefully that'll help.

Good luck.

[Lentrax]

Totally. If you can keep up that dry, sarcastic, very top-gear-british humour, it'd be the best thing. xD

Sounds like I need to write up a number of challenges...

[Lycunadari]

Hi again! Thanks for all your hugs, I'm feeling way better now. :smallsmile: Had the last of my exams yesterday and it went fairly well and now I have lots and lots of free time. :smallbiggrin:

Welcome new people!
Welcome back, golentan! I was wondering where you'd gone! For your girlfriend, Danae (http://www.danae.info/en/?___from_store=nl) sells bikinis for trans women, maybe she could use one of these.




It would also mean that a couple or more than a couple of people outside the gender binary would seem even more adorable, but I sadly have not had the chance to test that. Curse you, mainstream fiction! Curse you! :smallmad::smalltongue:
You could learn German and read my stories! There are lots of agendered, polyamorous elves! :smalltongue:

*hugs* for Misty and others who want them. :smallsmile:

[mistformsquirrl]

Thanks all <x-x> feeling a bit better now, just; blergh. I was really looking forward to today... oh well. On with the show eh? >.>/

[Partysan]

Hi again! Thanks for all your hugs, I'm feeling way better now. :smallsmile: Had the last of my exams yesterday and it went fairly well and now I have lots and lots of free time. :smallbiggrin

You could learn German and read my stories! There are lots of agendered, polyamorous elves! :smalltongue:

*hugs* for Misty and others who want them. :smallsmile:

Congratulations on putting the exams behind you. Also: Colour me interested in any stories involving a portrayal of polyamorous characters. Especially written by you :smallwink:

[TaiLiu]

Overall I'm OK - I had a nice lunch with my grandpa afterward so there's that; but I'm pretty ticked off that there is such a thing as "you can't go to therapy by dint of being messed up"; that seems ridiculous to me.
How odd. I hope your case goes well!

Hi again! Thanks for all your hugs, I'm feeling way better now. :smallsmile: Had the last of my exams yesterday and it went fairly well and now I have lots and lots of free time. :smallbiggrin:
Hooray! Free time is great!

You could learn German and read my stories! There are lots of agendered, polyamorous elves! :smalltongue:
Hm. Let us see how quickly I can learn a new language...

[tomandtish]

*hugs Misty*

Mrrr. Maybe a better way to look at it is - "my case is more complicated than usual, so I'm seeing a case manager so that he can be sure I'm getting the right treatment I need."

This is a good way to think of it. Sometimes the one thing worse than no therapy is the WRONG therapy. And given that you said there's no place else where you are that you can go (assuming you mean geographically) I infer from that a smaller area with limited resources. (Please correct if wrong).

If they aren't sure they have a therapist who can adequately address your needs, a case manager is (in their eyes) the safest way to manage your care until they come up with a solution that best suits your needs.

Sorry this isn't going as you'd hoped. Succubus has a point though. Give the case manager a chance and see how it goes.

No cookies, but one comfort Cherries Jubilee coming your way. :smallsmile:

[Eirala]

*more hugs*
Pics!
Wait, you posted some.
More pics!

Okay, one more:
http://i.imgur.com/Wz1BrRE.jpg
Now that i've got at least a glimpse of fashion taste and know the absolute basics of makeup i don't like the old pictures that much any more. So that's about all you get :smalltongue:
Until i buy another new dress at least


Pretty dress... looks good:smallbiggrin:
Hehe thanks ^.^




The red dress is pretty as well and it does seem to fit your current figure a little better. Not sure about the lacey gloves though but then I kinda failed my Feminine Fashion A-Level. >.>

<._.> Am I horribly wrong for focusing on those gloves? Cause they are awesomesauce. (The whole thing is great, but I loooooove the black lace gloves! <^o^>)

No. The gloves are, in fact, awesome.
I just love the gloves, it is a really unique feeling. I sometimes even wear them at home just because typing gets so much more fun :3
Gloves are magic~


I....uh......Ooohhhh myyyyyyy :smallredface:

The dress, the gloves, the pose......gorgeous.

~Matthew~
Dawww :smallredface:



Holy crap, your hair is *amazing* in that photo! :smalleek::smallbiggrin:

Holy expletive adjective. I can't even make a tacky joke.
How did you learn to do your hair?

*snip*

Man. That hair... I tried something like that once...
I can't even French braid mine without maybe losing a finger or twa. So covetous.
I didn't learn to do my hair. That's why i only have these super fancy hairstyles in the older pictures - my ex gf made my hair for these :smallwink:
But i like my hair open anyway.


Tanail, are you possibly looking for a date? :smallredface:

Honestly, I like your old favorite dress a bit more, but the new one is also gorgeous.

Well, depends on where you live. I am single at the moment :smalltongue:


@Tanail, that's great news.

Also both you and that dress are really pretty... >.>

I want to get a dress of my own now, but I'm afraid I'd just look silly in one cause I'm so tall. >.<
Being tall doesn't make you look bad at all. As long as the dress is the right size, being tall doesn't matter. Why not go shopping and just try some dresses to see how it looks? :smallsmile:



The CofE have seen sense! Yaaaay! (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/religion/10101900/Church-of-England-gives-up-fight-against-gay-marriage.html)

So, how are we all today?
Awesome :3 Both the link, and how i feel :smallsmile:
And how are you?



*hugs Tanail* more pics? You are beautiful. o.o
Thanks ^__^
As to more pics: But i don't have good pictures any more D:



Pistols at dawn for the hand of Tanail? :smallamused:
(Water pistols only :smallwink:)

*sneaks in, throws Tanail over shoulder, runs off*

>.>

<.<

>.>
*comes back from operetta*
Huh, i've been kidnapped. Interesting.
*sees people shooting each over for her*
I....what...

:smallredface:


Can't we go as a group?
Fine by me ^^


<-.-> Rambling ensues:

So today I went to counseling. Except not... it was just the intake interview - which I expected; but then after all was said and done I find out I don't actually get to go to counseling.

You know why? Because apparently I'm in such bad shape that I don't qualify for therapy. That's right folks, I'm too screwed up for therapy. Now on the one hand, they did give me the option to have a 'case manager' to un-screw me up so I can go to therapy, and that's good... but on the other hand it's kind of a kick in the teeth to be told (politely, but essentially) "You're too messed up to fix at present.")

Overall I'm OK - I had a nice lunch with my grandpa afterward so there's that; but I'm pretty ticked off that there is such a thing as "you can't go to therapy by dint of being messed up"; that seems ridiculous to me.

What. I don't even -
No, really, i don't know what to say. Hugs? :smallfrown:

---

The operetta was pretty neat :3 The friend of my mum who went with us also had no problem with me, so it was a really great evening ^_^
And all thanks to you all, i really was down before talking to you and didn't even consider going all out with the dress. So thank you, you are legitimately awesome. :smallbiggrin: *round of hugs*

[golentan]

San Jose, CA? I'm moving into a new place there this weekend.

[Astrella]

Mrrr.

I just had a bit of a realization about myself... sadly it involved me hurting people I care about and hurting myself as well I guess.

I need to take my anxiety issues more serious. I've noticed that I tend to use them to hurt myself. Like, thinking stuff like that I'm not trans enough because if I was I'd get over my anxiety and things like that. And that just creates a whole bunch of negative feedback loops that just end up hurting myself a lot... and through that hurting people I care about. It's, for very very long I've seen my anxiety as weakness that I just need to get over with, but I think I need to approach it in a better fashion so that I can actually make progress about social transitioning as well, which will also help with my anxiety but it's partially caused by that I think.

[Lentrax]

Going to bed right now, Astrella, but drop me a PM if you wanna talk more privately.

Or just need to vent on someone who can take I and then offer some mid to fair advice on it.

[Eirala]

San Jose, CA? I'm moving into a new place there this weekend.

Neat, thats only about 8500km :smallbiggrin:

@Astrella:
:smallfrown:
But at least you made the first step in realizing what you need to change. That's something :smallsmile:

[The Succubus]

Mrrr.

I just had a bit of a realization about myself... sadly it involved me hurting people I care about and hurting myself as well I guess.

I need to take my anxiety issues more serious. I've noticed that I tend to use them to hurt myself. Like, thinking stuff like that I'm not trans enough because if I was I'd get over my anxiety and things like that. And that just creates a whole bunch of negative feedback loops that just end up hurting myself a lot... and through that hurting people I care about. It's, for very very long I've seen my anxiety as weakness that I just need to get over with, but I think I need to approach it in a better fashion so that I can actually make progress about social transitioning as well, which will also help with my anxiety but it's partially caused by that I think.

And with each day, we get a little stronger and wiser. :smallsmile:

[Lady Serpentine]

Tanail, do you know precisely what color that dress is? Something in that would work very well for a character of mine... Also, you look lovely in that; why don't you like the old pictures? :smallconfused:

Also, mrrr, I want gloves like that, but with a different pattern. :smallfrown:

Edit: And people posted. *Hugs Astrella* I'm glad you figured it out, at least?

[golentan]

Once again I am defeated by my arch nemesis, geography!

[TaiLiu]

Once again I am defeated by my arch nemesis, geography!
Oh, no! What happened?

[Eldest]

A potential romance was foiled by the cruel winds of... large distances? Don't know where I was going with this...

[Eirala]

Tanail, do you know precisely what color that dress is? Something in that would work very well for a character of mine... Also, you look lovely in that; why don't you like the old pictures? :smallconfused:

Also, mrrr, I want gloves like that, but with a different pattern. :smallfrown:



Thank you and i'm sorry, but all i know the dress was some kind of purple...even if it wasn't already 1.5 years or so ago i wouldn't know better, i'm not good with colours... ^^"

I still like the ones i posted a bit, but generally i just look horrible compared to now. I can't stand looking at my face for long with that makeup, my ex did not so good of a job with that. Also the body hair, but mainly the makeup. (and probably a bit of negative emotions because of my ex gf)
Both things are pretty much "fixed" now, i have a bit of experience with makeup and i have been epilating the last 2 weeks or so and my body hair is pretty much gone ^_^ There is a hell of a lot pain involved though, and irritated skin <.<

[TaiLiu]

A potential romance was foiled by the cruel winds of... large distances? Don't know where I was going with this...
Ah. :smallfrown:

[The Rose Dragon]

Regarding the earlier discussion about the thread's atmosphere, I think the whole "unconditional support and friendship" thing is the primary reason why I don't post in this thread too often, because it is both something I am incapable of providing, and something that is very often more frustrating than helpful to my own attempts at self-discovery. If I want support, I can get that from any of my friends, and I want to come to this thread to learn and be educated, in the hopes that it will help me figure out what is wrong with me.

And... I don't find it here. Instead I get told that people should love me no matter what I am, when I can't even love myself without figuring it out. I sort of feel like I'm stuck in a closet (to use a familiar term), but I don't know where the closet is, what it is made out of, how to get out and what to do once I'm out. Or whether I should get out or not, because there might be sharks outside.

[TaiLiu]

Regarding the earlier discussion about the thread's atmosphere, I think the whole "unconditional support and friendship" thing is the primary reason why I don't post in this thread too often, because it is both something I am incapable of providing, and something that is very often more frustrating than helpful to my own attempts at self-discovery. If I want support, I can get that from any of my friends, and I want to come to this thread to learn and be educated, in the hopes that it will help me figure out what is wrong with me.

And... I don't find it here. Instead I get told that people should love me no matter what I am, when I can't even love myself without figuring it out. I sort of feel like I'm stuck in a closet (to use a familiar term), but I don't know where the closet is, what it is made out of, how to get out and what to do once I'm out. Or whether I should get out or not, because there might be sharks outside.
Hm. The first post has a list of people willing to grant education and knowledge. Perhaps contacting them would be most beneficial to you. :smallsmile:

[Lady Serpentine]

Thank you and i'm sorry, but all i know the dress was some kind of purple...even if it wasn't already 1.5 years or so ago i wouldn't know better, i'm not good with colours... ^^"

I still like the ones i posted a bit, but generally i just look horrible compared to now. I can't stand looking at my face for long with that makeup, my ex did not so good of a job with that. Also the body hair, but mainly the makeup. (and probably a bit of negative emotions because of my ex gf)
Both things are pretty much "fixed" now, i have a bit of experience with makeup and i have been epilating the last 2 weeks or so and my body hair is pretty much gone ^_^ There is a hell of a lot pain involved though, and irritated skin <.<

Fair enough. It's your body, after all. And of course, I've not seen any of the new ones, so I've got no basis for comparison. :smallsmile:

[Karen Lynn]

Regarding the earlier discussion about the thread's atmosphere, I think the whole "unconditional support and friendship" thing is the primary reason why I don't post in this thread too often, because it is both something I am incapable of providing, and something that is very often more frustrating than helpful to my own attempts at self-discovery. If I want support, I can get that from any of my friends, and I want to come to this thread to learn and be educated, in the hopes that it will help me figure out what is wrong with me.

And... I don't find it here. Instead I get told that people should love me no matter what I am, when I can't even love myself without figuring it out. I sort of feel like I'm stuck in a closet (to use a familiar term), but I don't know where the closet is, what it is made out of, how to get out and what to do once I'm out. Or whether I should get out or not, because there might be sharks outside.

To be fair, some of us have offered advice to the best of our ability(or forum rules), just to have your following post seem slightly dismissive. I normally just pass over your posts nowadays, because while you were fixated on finding out whether or not you are attracted to men, we have offered the best advice we could, which goes along the following: "Look at explicit pics of men, read erotica involving men, or date a man." You seemed adamant about claiming you are unsure. We can not tell you how you feel. We can only suggest ways you might find out how you feel. It is solely up to you to find you. None of us have maps.

[Ilena]

Omg Tanail i wish i looked that good! but i just dont like the looks of my face :S but damn girl!

[The Succubus]

If I want support, I can get that from any of my friends, and I want to come to this thread to learn and be educated, in the hopes that it will help me figure out what is wrong with me.

Have you have considered the possibility that there isn't something wrong with you?

You're unsure about what you want. That's cool - liking guys does not preclude you from liking girls as well. Or it might just be that you like them to different degrees. I describe myself as "straight"ish because a proper description would involve an awful lot of words.

The closest I could get would be "bisexual, with hetrosexual leanings towards girls and demisexual leanings towards guys". Even now, I'm still not entirely sure of my orientation and I suspect I'll still be figuring it out years from now. :smallsmile:

[celtois]

An interesting article about how advertisers are starting to target an LGBT audience and why they are doing so. http://www.jobpostings.ca/career-planning/joblife/lgbt-niche-how-marketers-target-them

Check it out, its an interesting read. I'm a bit of cynic when it comes to capitalism, so when I read it my immediate reaction was "cash grab". But still its awesome that big companies now feel comfortable showcasing LBGT talent in their ads/want to target the LBGT community.

PS. Astrella: I love you avatar.

Anyway, just thought I'd share. Though I have no comments on the topic at hand.

[TaiLiu]

Anyway, just thought I'd share. Though I have no comments on the topic at hand.
Mm. A fascinating read.

[Lauren]

Well the entire thing would just be something like (and heavily paraphrasing here):

Jeremy dashed to his Lancia hoping to be the first to arrive at the bedroom, and sped away screaming "POWWWWWER!" at the top of his lungs.

Meanwhile, I strolled over to my much more sensible Mercedes C class and after doing a thourough checking that everything was in order, spent the next five hours lost in London, becuse I couldn't find a bus going the right way.

Or something like that. :smalltongue:

Oooh. Kinky :smalltongue:

I think the weirdest slash I've ever read was Whomping Willow/Giant Squid from Harry Potter, but I'm probably forgetting something. The weirdest slash I've written is almost definitely Bob the Skutter/Talkie Toaster from Red Dwarf, but that was at least ten years ago.


*watches brewing water pistol fight between Golly and Succubus*
*builds trebuchet*
*fills with water balloons*
*waits for location to be announced*

*gets popcorn*


<-.-> Rambling ensues:

So today I went to counseling. Except not... it was just the intake interview - which I expected; but then after all was said and done I find out I don't actually get to go to counseling.

You know why? Because apparently I'm in such bad shape that I don't qualify for therapy. That's right folks, I'm too screwed up for therapy. Now on the one hand, they did give me the option to have a 'case manager' to un-screw me up so I can go to therapy, and that's good... but on the other hand it's kind of a kick in the teeth to be told (politely, but essentially) "You're too messed up to fix at present.")

Overall I'm OK - I had a nice lunch with my grandpa afterward so there's that; but I'm pretty ticked off that there is such a thing as "you can't go to therapy by dint of being messed up"; that seems ridiculous to me.

That is awful. *hugs*

@Tanail: pretty pretty pretty!

@Astrella: *hugs* Anxiety is awful. Here's hoping you can make some progress beating it soon. I've just had a couple of terrible nights with mine, only to realise this morning that I missed a couple of doses of my meds. Stupid Lauren is stupid.

I can't find now the post where someone recommended neck massage with a tennis ball, but thank you for the idea. The pain's spread down to the back of my shoulder as of last night; I'm going to change pillows and see if that helps.

[tomandtish]

Have you have considered the possibility that there isn't something wrong with you?

You're unsure about what you want. That's cool - liking guys does not preclude you from liking girls as well. Or it might just be that you like them to different degrees. I describe myself as "straight"ish because a proper description would involve an awful lot of words.

The closest I could get would be "bisexual, with hetrosexual leanings towards girls and demisexual leanings towards guys". Even now, I'm still not entirely sure of my orientation and I suspect I'll still be figuring it out years from now. :smallsmile:

Succubus hits it right on the head. There's nothing wrong with being unsure, or unclear on how strong your preferences are. What you need to avoid are preconceived expectations. I've been around for a while, and there's no one size fits all answer when it comes to self-identity. Two people could go through the exact same experiences, come out with completely opposite answers, and those answers would be right for each of them.

Speaking of which, given that I'm offering advice I should probably introduce myself. I'm the "Tom" part of tomandtish. I'm a 44yo male who (after experimentation in high school) identifies as straight - so far. I'm 18 years married, and hope that an opinion from the old man side of things may be helpful to some.

Howdy all.

:smallsmile:

[TaiLiu]

Howdy all.

:smallsmile:
Greetings, Comrade Tom! :smallsmile:

[noparlpf]

An interesting article about how advertisers are starting to target an LGBT audience and why they are doing so. http://www.jobpostings.ca/career-planning/joblife/lgbt-niche-how-marketers-target-them

Check it out, its an interesting read. I'm a bit of cynic when it comes to capitalism, so when I read it my immediate reaction was "cash grab". But still its awesome that big companies now feel comfortable showcasing LBGT talent in their ads/want to target the LBGT community.

PS. Astrella: I love you avatar.

Anyway, just thought I'd share. Though I have no comments on the topic at hand.

*clicks YouTube link*
*scrolls to comments*
It's like I don't ever learn.

[Taffimai]

An interesting article about how advertisers are starting to target an LGBT audience and why they are doing so. http://www.jobpostings.ca/career-planning/joblife/lgbt-niche-how-marketers-target-them

Check it out, its an interesting read. I'm a bit of cynic when it comes to capitalism, so when I read it my immediate reaction was "cash grab". But still its awesome that big companies now feel comfortable showcasing LBGT talent in their ads/want to target the LBGT community.


I'm getting a "Forbidden" error message when I click that link.

Forbidden

You don't have permission to access /career-planning/joblife/lgbt-niche-how-marketers-target-them on this server.

Any other way to see that text? Anybody else have that problem? I'm in Ireland.

[TaiLiu]

Any other way to see that text? Anybody else have that problem? I'm in Ireland.
Hm. I see it...

It's unlikely, but perhaps this shortened URL (http://goo.gl/llbP2) will work?

[Taffimai]

Hm. I see it...

It's unlikely, but perhaps this shortened URL (http://goo.gl/llbP2) will work?

Nope, still nothing.

Edit: going to bed now, giving the interwebs time to wizen up.

[TaiLiu]

Nope, still nothing.
Hm. Most vexing. I could take a screenshot of it, if you would like.

[noparlpf]

RE: Parings.
Darn, I can't actually find that Felix the Cat/Ed from Bebop drawing. Somebody commissioned it from my ex around four years ago, but she cleaned out her deviantart a while back and then finally deactivated it not long ago, and doesn't think she has a copy, so it's probably gone forever.

[Taffimai]

Hm. Most vexing. I could take a screenshot of it, if you would like.

I'd like that, thank you.

[TaiLiu]

I'd like that, thank you.
Hm. My computer isn't letting me do that, for some reason. My apologises.

[tomandtish]

Hm. My computer isn't letting me do that, for some reason. My apologises.

I was able to sent her the text.


In absence of anything else, somebody could send you the text of the article in a PM.

...and I think this is the first time I ever ninja'd anybody! :smallbiggrin:

[Eldest]

In absence of anything else, somebody could send you the text of the article in a PM.

[Lady Serpentine]

...And I just did that too.

Yay redundancy? >.>

[TaiLiu]

I was able to sent her the text.
...I don't know why that didn't occur to me. Copy and Paste! Of course! Thank you for reminding me.

[Eldest]

Well, now I'm glad I only suggested it, instead of flooding her inbox with more PMs.
Edit: Sorry if that came off as accusatory, just had a bad not-quite-argument with my parents. Looking forwards to returning to college already, if I can afford to go back.

[noparlpf]

I'd like that, thank you.

Screenshots:
http://i1204.photobucket.com/albums/bb416/noparlpf/p1_zps7fd10634.jpg
http://i1204.photobucket.com/albums/bb416/noparlpf/p2_zps97e75d50.jpg
http://i1204.photobucket.com/albums/bb416/noparlpf/p3_zpsc9ae9751.jpg
http://i1204.photobucket.com/albums/bb416/noparlpf/p4_zps29217208.jpg

Links:
"Commercials are queerer than ever." (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=be9HRcphdfg)
"Out Now" (http://www.outnowconsulting.com/)
"Microsoft" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiQyqhjtkfw)
"Kindle" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wY1UIES9wx8)
"Gay Ad Network" (http://www.gayadnetwork.com/)
"International Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce" (http://www.cglcc.ca/common/details.cfm?id=1185)

Edit: I DO IT THE HARD WAY.

[MuffinPuffin]

So I thought long, and I thought hard, and I read, and I researched, and I Thought some more... and I finally came to a conclusion about my trans*-ness/gender-binary:

It doesn't matter.

After a long headache inducing pro and con match-up, reading what posters have posted (Thank you so much btw) and general worring, I needed a break from the hard thinking, and I thought "Do I feel trapped/do I need to change?"

Answer? No.

Although I do feel uncomfortable acting feminine without a body to match, long for the clothes of a woman, and a third reason (http://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=4&ved=0CEcQFjAD&url=http%3A%2F%2Ftvtropes.org%2Fpmwiki%2Fpmwiki.ph p%2FMain%2FRuleOfThree&ei=QzGxUdelN4ijyAGA54HABA&usg=AFQjCNFjUXkv1Eu_rInzP8hK0crUN6GX9A&bvm=bv.47534661,d.aWc). I realised that I'm perfectly fine how I am, and changing things will make things alot worse before they get better (If they do).

I don't like thinking of having to end my relationship with my girlfriend (although she may still love my if I do transition*, she already has some issues about the lack of sexual intimacy** we have already). I'm in high school, so it would be a while before i can do anything anyway, and I really don't need to be thinking about this right now.

I have come to the conclusion that I am a girl*** in an slightly itchy suit of a man, and not trapped, but more... "It could be better, but honestly, its still pretty bitchin' "

*We had a conversation about something like this, that she would love me even If i was gay, and that we could still be together as long as we still were attracted+loved each other.
**I don't like sexual activities very much, casued some problems...
*** Not a women, but a girl, a young energetic girl.

Well, now I'm glad I only suggested it, instead of flooding her inbox with more PMs.
Edit: Sorry if that came off as accusatory, just had a bad not-quite-argument with my parents. Looking forwards to returning to college already, if I can afford to go back.
*MuffinPuffin attempts to be more involved in the thread!*
Oh noes, what happend!

[Eldest]

*MuffinPuffin attempts to be more involved in the thread!*
Oh noes, what happend!

Bit About My Life, Which Is Only Vaugely Related To LGBTQ Stuff
Argument over me trusting people online. I trust all of you. You have no reason to lie here, and if you did, I don't care. I will accept your story at face value because that's what you want me to believe. My mother, especially, is worried about something involving me trusting people I haven't seen the face of, to judge if they're lying or not. Which makes it anger me, since I then don't want them to know about me and Karen/Sophia, since that's online only. And I don't really want to bring up the poly bit. Add that on top of having been fired from a temp job doing assembly line work for not keeping up with the line, losing a scholarship due to grades, one of the people who I value most that actually within 15 minutes driving distance is off to Denver for the summer, and some random other stuff going on, and you have the various downsides of life right now.

[TaiLiu]

Bit About My Life, Which Is Only Vaugely Related To LGBTQ Stuff
Argument over me trusting people online. I trust all of you. You have no reason to lie here, and if you did, I don't care. I will accept your story at face value because that's what you want me to believe. My mother, especially, is worried about something involving me trusting people I haven't seen the face of, to judge if they're lying or not. Which makes it anger me, since I then don't want them to know about me and Karen/Sophia, since that's online only. And I don't really want to bring up the poly bit. Add that on top of having been fired from a temp job doing assembly line work for not keeping up with the line, losing a scholarship due to grades, one of the people who I value most that actually within 15 minutes driving distance is off to Denver for the summer, and some random other stuff going on, and you have the various downsides of life right now.
Oh. My condolences and hugs, Comrade. :smallfrown:

[noparlpf]

Bit About My Life, Which Is Only Vaugely Related To LGBTQ Stuff
Argument over me trusting people online. I trust all of you. You have no reason to lie here, and if you did, I don't care. I will accept your story at face value because that's what you want me to believe.

I am a four-hundred-foot-tall purple platypus-bear with pink horns and silver wings.


My mother, especially, is worried about something involving me trusting people I haven't seen the face of, to judge if they're lying or not. Which makes it anger me, since I then don't want them to know about me and Karen/Sophia, since that's online only. And I don't really want to bring up the poly bit. Add that on top of having been fired from a temp job doing assembly line work for not keeping up with the line, losing a scholarship due to grades, one of the people who I value most that actually within 15 minutes driving distance is off to Denver for the summer, and some random other stuff going on, and you have the various downsides of life right now.

Ah. That's a pain. *hugs*