1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

[Xalos]

1. Split the Party
2. Roll a Paladin in a party consisted of 1/2 or more evil characters
3. Prestidigitation
4. Roll a Chaotic Evil Necromancer if you have a Paladin in the group
5. http://www.marph.org/D&D/D&D%203.5%20-%20Deities%20&%20Demigods.pdf
6. Kill the main quest-giver
7. Kill the local King
8. Buy an army (You can find prices in the handbooks so its possible), and declare yourself king.
9. Kill level 20 shop keepers in their sleep. Easy leveling.
10. Kill your entire party.

The forums is filled with a bunch of twisted, sick minded and insane people! If you are one of them, and even if you aren't please post your ideas!

EDIT:
THE GOAL HAS NOW BEEN REACHED!!!

[AnonymousPepper]

11. Locate City bomb the place.

Buy a scroll with the necessary caster properties to produce the Locate City nuke at low levels - easily affordable by around fourth level or so, and if you have a cleric accomplice, you can use Guidance of the Avatar to ace the UMD check. Bonus points if you can also pop a Sphere of Invulnerability on yourself.

I actually did this once, when my regular DM was out and the group's Special Star-bearer (to put it politely; nobody likes him) had gotten the DM to let him handle an RPing/housekeeping session for him. The Party Idiot hasn't DMed again; it's usually fallen to me. Mission accomplished.

[Umbranar]

12. Play an Apostle of Peace - NO FIGHTING!

[Somensjev]

13. carry all money in copper, sell all your valuable items, such as gems, paintings, etc. then exchange all your gold for copper, better if you have a bag of holding just to carry all your copper

14. set everything on fire. everything

15. whenever you meet a quest-giving NPC, kill them, then speak with dead, you get exp, loot, and a quest hook

[Hangwind]

16.Send your LG party on a "traditional" quest. Keep perfect notes. Then read them their quest in novel form, showing what murder-hobos they really were. Tell them their souls are now owned by devils/demons/other.

[Dugong]

17. Get a deck of many things.

[DragonSinged]

18. Ask "Are you sure you want to do that?" randomly after decisions the party has made, whether or not they have any negative consequences.

[Xalos]

19. Befriend the final boss and join his legion
20. Read the magic runes placed on your formerly kidnapped party member (I'm still mad at you for that Mordi)
21. Did I hear someone say awaken elemental lords inside the capital?

[Somensjev]

22. seven words: "guess what spell i prepared this morning" :smallwink:

[atomicwaffle]

23. Homebrew something they can't deal with. Yes, those are explosive proximity runes (claymore mines).

[Amphetryon]

24. Fell Drain Fimbulwinter to give Negative Levels to everything within the Spell's diameter (2 miles/Caster Level, minimum 8th Level Spell) . . . . for 4 - 48 weeks.

[Somensjev]

25. create a single wight. in the middle of a large city

[John Longarrow]

26. Maximize your diplomacy.
27. Give out girdles of masculinity/femininity as treasure.
28. DON'T change any pregenerated module to make party appropriate encounters.

[Shining Wrath]

29. Play old-school chaotic neutral, where you decide EVERYTHING by rolling dice
30. Play a character dedicated to getting laid 7x24, at a table where there are no teen-aged boys to be amused
31. Thief. Steal from the other PCs. When they catch you, kill them by UMD something you bought with their loot. Insist you are "role-playing"
32. Forget your dice. Borrow from others. Don't return them after the session. Lose their dice.

[Xalos]

33. Befriend a dragon.
34. Fire, plane and simple
35. Seduce the princess

[Amphetryon]

36. Cast Love's Pain on the main antagonist.
37. Get a wand of Shivering Touch and announce you're going dragon-hunting; turn the expected WBL into a joke.
38. Salty cows.

[Necroticplague]

3.5. Be a shapechanger. Never mention when you change forms until everyone has a differen mental image of the character and is confused.

[Inevitability]

36. Cast Love's Pain on the main antagonist.


C'mon, we can do better.

40. Cast Love's Pain on everyone you come across.

CE for the win.

[Xalos]

C'mon, we can do better.

40. Cast Love's Pain on everyone you come across.

CE for the win.

Is that the best you can do?

41. Cast Love's Pain on everything you come across.... monsters, NPCs, PCs, enemies, etc....

[Inevitability]

That's what I meant to say. Sorry, my English isn't perfect.

[Zubrowka74]

42.a. Spike the punch with philters of love.
42.b. Alternatively, replace healing potions with philters of love.

[Alex12]

43: Be a Dread Necromancer, and play it exactly like the stereotypical Bard in social situations. Flirt with and try and seduce everything you encounter.

[Pinkie Pyro]

44: play fighter, pick up improved sunder, sunder the party wizard's spellbook in every single encounter. roleplay it like it was an accident.

[Kazudo]

45. Use critical failure rules complete with self-damage and party-killing.
46. Neglect to tell the players which UA variants you'll be using until they've already got their characters drawn up.
47. Complain that you have to look up every spell you use before you use it.
48. Grab hold of a game mechanic you don't understand and use it wrong, then blame the DM when it doesn't work the way you thought it would and stomp out of the game.

[10+ years of DMing, a lot of it with 3.5e. I have some of these alright O.o;]

[TrueJordan]

49. Become a Diplomancer. Raise an army
50. Planar Shepherd/Incantatrix
51. Polymorph any Object shenanigans

[Grod_The_Giant]

43: Be a Dread Necromancer, and play it exactly like the stereotypical Bard in social situations. Flirt with and try and seduce everything you encounter.
I was in a game where someone did that. Bloody charisma casters...

[sideswipe]

52. in a 6 month espionage campaign wait until 5 months and 3 weeks then as you are about to unleash a perfect plan and win the campaign by killing the BBEG get bored and say "i break cover and start cleaving through people looking at all your fellow party members and breaking their cover too and saying with me! we can do this!"

(this actually happened). bye bye 6 months of investigation and planning....

[Alex12]

I was in a game where someone did that. Bloody charisma casters...

That's awesome, and I wish to hear more.

[Shining Wrath]

53. As DM, reveal PC secrets casually, e.g., "Since you have become a werewolf ..." to shocked & amazed table
54. Spill paint on other people's minis
55. Forget to bring any cash, eat pizza anyway

[Regis_is_a_bro]

56. You and a friend create two kenku bards named Beaks by Dr. K and 2 beaks. Buy a sailing ship. Put wheels on the sailing ship. Buy horses. You now have a sailing ship carriage. Buy royal robes, colors that complement each others robes. You rap for your performances. You both carry a hand crossbow coated in gold. Always shoot with it turned sideways. Get Leadership. Have a running brothel with many attractive ladies. Use those ladies as chairs. You can also buy bodyguards, because you're awful in combat. Boost that perform all the way up, and put everything into charisma. Take 20 on all perform checks. You know have extraplanar creatures loving your performances.

That's it, that's all folks. :smallbiggrin:

[Kazudo]

57. Spill red kool-aid on the table containing $500+ worth of hardback books.
58. "Accidentally" don't fill out details on your sheet, then pencil them in when they're necessary.
59. Whine when the DM says that any alterations to the character after creation need to happen with his approval, roleplaying, and actual rule settings.
60. Play either of the Batman or God wizards at the table.
61. Argue over whether a spell is persistable or not.

[TheFamilarRaven]

62. Have a party of all Wizards
63. Have a party of all Clerics (Bonus points if their deities conflict)
64. Have a party of all Barbarians
65. Have a party of all high Charisma characters (Bonus points if charisma isn't even a necessary stat for a character, i.e fighter)

[Rijan_Sai]

66. Craft: Weaponsmithing + EWP Feat =

http://www.paperstreetbrigade.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/SwordChucks.jpg

[Xalos]

67. Actually read Prestidigitations description.
68. As a DM make a full massive labyrinth. No monsters, enemies traps or treasures. Just one large trap in the entrance that kills rogue. Nothing else. A plane empty labyrinth. Big room at end with nothing in it.
69. Make a Half-Orc Fighter X/Sorcerer 5, choose Enlarge Person and Bear's Strength as spells, and max out strength. Always wear a tanktop and wear a mask over only your mouth. Cast enlarge person and Bear's Strength on self, go scare and rule a city. Put in your background that you born in the Underdark, raised by it, molded by it, you didnt see the light of day until you were a man. Whenever you encounter a lawful good character Necromancer or Rogue, tell them they merely adopted the darkness.

[Seerow]

A surprising number of these are less ways to screw with your DM/Party and more ways to lose friends by taking deliberate action out of game to either negatively impact the others or steal/destroy their property. After reading through this thread there's people who I considered pretty decent individuals that I'd be really wary of playing a game with.

[Xalos]

A surprising number of these are less ways to screw with your DM/Party and more ways to lose friends by taking deliberate action out of game to either negatively impact the others or steal/destroy their property. After reading through this thread there's people who I considered pretty decent individuals that I'd be really wary of playing a game with.

You take the fun out of funeral

[Kazudo]

A surprising number of these are less ways to screw with your DM/Party and more ways to lose friends by taking deliberate action out of game to either negatively impact the others or steal/destroy their property. After reading through this thread there's people who I considered pretty decent individuals that I'd be really wary of playing a game with.

Oh, the ones I've contributed typically have happened around me. I tend to think I'm a nice guy at the table.

70. Explore the fundamental uses of soap and marbles while in the Dungeon of Serious Badwrongfun.

[dascarletm]

71: Spend 30 minutes explaining something that could be done in 1 minute.


Seriously, I know you know a lot about climbing, but telling me in exquisite detail every time we try to climb a surface exactly how you do it.... it's just a waste.

[killem2]

72. Sell everything you can and ask if everything you see is movable and try to sell it. Even if it's a copper piece.

[VariSami]

73. Play a Kender.

74. Stick a 10 feet pole up your Paladin character's arse. This is an euphemism.

75. Stick a 10 feet pole up another player's Paladin's arse. This is not an euphemism.

[John Longarrow]

74. Let your DM spend a couple weeks making a custom dungeon just for your party, then decide not to go that way.

[Inevitability]

75. Randomly swap your player's sheets around, then proclaim that they'll be playing each others character.

76. Roll random dice during the game, look at a player's sheet, take it, pretend to write something down on the sheet, give it back, pretend to write something down behind the screen, continue with the game.
After a few times, actually change something. That should annoy them.

[Kazudo]

77. Roll dice for no reason. Look thoughtfully. If it's in the middle of a group discussion that's taken a while, go look through books. Pouring through them with a cause, tearing through them like you need to find 100% critical information. Once you've done that for a moment and gotten their attention doing so. point at a book, laugh for a second, roll another dice, then grin to yourself and simply say "No, continue your conversation. Give me some ideas."

[Necroticplague]

78. Disregard all concept of dungeons by using adamantine weapons to dig your way through the walls.

79. Avoid all random encounters theough judicious use of teleporting.

80. Ignore any complicated intrigue through use of mind control and possession.

[Shining Wrath]

A surprising number of these are less ways to screw with your DM/Party and more ways to lose friends by taking deliberate action out of game to either negatively impact the others or steal/destroy their property. After reading through this thread there's people who I considered pretty decent individuals that I'd be really wary of playing a game with.

Please consider everything I wrote in this thread to be in sarcasm blue, retroactively.

And probably everything everyone else wrote as well.

There These aren't things I'd ever do ...

[Shining Wrath]

81. One word: Mindrape. If you can't break the DM's campaign 12 ways from Sunday with that one, you aren't trying.
82. One word: Wish. See 81.
83. One word: Gate. See 82.
84. Use the argument "But that's not realistic!" at any point on any topic

[Kazudo]

There aren't things I'd ever do ...

Ditto. However, the red kool aid thing happened to the DM at my table. I wasn't there that week, but the dents in the wall and lack of two of our normally rambunctious jokester players the next week as well as his entire book collection red and under hair dryers...well, you get the picture.

[Socksy]

85: Get out the Great Net Spellbook in a 3.x campaign

86: Have the BBEG be a gestalt 2e Psion//3.5e Psion

87: Replace Io with Pun-Pun
87b: Replace anyone with Pun-Pun

88: Introduce Elminster and co.

89: That Damn Crab

90: Take Sign Language as your only language. Take Flaw: Disability(Blind).

91: Play the INT 30 wizard as an idiot but give the orcs tactics worthy of the greatest chessmasters

[Werephilosopher]

92. Enforce experience penalties for multiclassing.

[dascarletm]

Please consider everything I wrote in this thread to be in sarcasm blue, retroactively.

And probably everything everyone else wrote as well.

There These aren't things I'd ever do ...

who are you mocking/ what do you have contempt for?


PS: Sarcasm =/= Joking

[Kazudo]

90: Take Sign Language as your only language. Take Flaw: Disability(Blind).


92. Take the Disability(Blind). Take the trait (Hard of Hearing). Learn only Druidic.

[Shining Wrath]

who are you mocking/ what do you have contempt for?


PS: Sarcasm =/= Joking

Le sigh. I have contempt for treating these enumerated stunts as suggested behavior.

[Alex12]

78. Disregard all concept of dungeons by using adamantine weapons to dig your way through the walls.
I find Mountain Hammer works better. That way you don't have to worry about the DM deciding that dungeon walls magically have a hardness of 40.

92. Enforce experience penalties for multiclassing.
That...that may be the most evil thing I've ever heard.

[sideswipe]

94. your friend writes a game to try and expand his game design career. you and another player create characters with each others names so that the dm who is used to saying player names cannot get a straight answer from either of you or your attention at any point.

[LarwisTheElf]

95. Do the Who's on First skit with all of your party members' names. Have fun annoying the DM.

[ArqArturo]

96. Make a Warforged Barbarian named Arnold, and speak only in one-liner with a similar accent like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

[AnonymousPepper]

97. Actually roll up and submit to your DM a dragonwrought kobold.

*Dwarf Bonus* Make him a Venerable (Dragon of Your Choice Here) Loredrake Dragonwrought Kobold Sorcerer with both Draconic Rites taken.

*Mega Dwarf Bonus* Add Magic-Blooded for extra Charisma because why not add more templates. Alternatively, if wizards are more your speed, add Riddled and Spellscale to become an int-based prepared caster.

*Super Dwarf Bonus* Give him 10 levels in Incantatrix.

**Uber Dwarf Bonus** If in a 3.PF game, use Pathfinder's feat progression to take loads of Practical Metamagic feats.

**Armok Bonus** Instead of Incantatrix 10, use Initiate of the Sevenfold Veil 7 and Metaphysical Spellshaper 3 from the Book of Erotic Fantasy, adding in some method of immunity to ability drain/damage.

**Mega Armok Bonus** Commit the final act of dickery and, since you now have no need for metamagic cost reducers, take epic feats instead.

[Bullet06320]

98. have your players roll up characters, then at start of play, "ok, every one pass your sheets to the person to your right, that's now your character"
99. have your players roll up characters, with everyone thinking your DMing, at the start of the game "Dan your Dming"
100. rescue the princess, then abuse her before returning her for a reward
101. play a necromancer and reanimate what u kill, using the minions to run through the carefully planned dungeon
102. play a necromancer and reanimate the BBEG's favorite minion
103. play a necromancer and reanimate the BBEG
104. play a necromancer and reanimate party members
105. have the BBEG reanimate party members then send them against the new party

[Angelalex242]

106: Roll up a monk. Imitate Bruce Lee's classic noise during combat. Out of combat, refer to yourself as 'this humble one.'
107: Roll up a Paladin. Name her Miko Miyazaki. Act exactly like the original. Profit.

[shadowseve]

74. Let your DM spend a couple weeks making a custom dungeon just for your party, then decide not to go that way.

Our party did this. We decided to get drunk and go giant grave yard digging so the necro cleric could raise a couple of fire giants. We then went back to the village with the fire giants, plus some shadows and their spawn causing the village to flee in terror. The shadows then began to kill the fleeing villagers, creating more spawn. My Dm gave me the ability to speak telepathically in wild shape so I walked into the bar as a bear, sat down and telepathically said to the bar tender "the bear wants beer." So a village that was supposed to be a refuge to stock up on supplies was over run with shadows and their spawn while I sat and drank beer the whole night. We never did go to the dungeon. :smallbiggrin:

[Doorhandle]

108: Play an alchemist. Get the implant bomb feat. Use implant bomb on yourself with all your daily slots, then walk up to a dragon, Flip him off, and then detonate yourself. Profit.
109: Play an arcane archer. Have the D.M try to figure out how imbue arrow works with antimagic field.
110: Play a gunslinger. Never use guns.
111: Play a wizard. Never use spells.
112: Play a fighter. Never use feats.
113: Play a lawful good paladin of asmodeus.
114: Change your familiar/animal companion every time you level up.
115: Find the axe of the dwarven lords: Destroy it in front of them.
116: Draw from the deck of many things.
117: Be a harrower and do the same thing.
118: Play a summoner. Take eldritch heritage: sylvian and leadership. Then optimize them both and trample the campaign beneath your army.
119: Fill every spell slot with vomit swarm, creeping doom, manic monkeys, rain of frogs, hornet swarm, ect. Bury the campaign under swarms of insects.
120: Prepare the mount spell in every spell slot. Literally trample the campaign beneath your army.
121: Heighten continual flame to 9th so that no darkness spell can actually hit you.
122: Play a dwarf bard and have the highest charisma in the party.
123: Play an elf barbarian and have the highest con in the party.
124: Play a half-orc barbarian and have the lowest strength in the party.
125: Play a martial artist. Use your ability damage resistance to snort up the hardest drugs in existence with no ill effects.
126: Do the same with a poison-immune paladin.
127: Base your character's build entley around taking other people's clothes off.
128: Base your character's build entirely around taking YOUR clothes off.
129: Base your character's build around putting clothes on other people.

[Socksy]

130: Play an Assplomancer.

[John Longarrow]

131. Use the 2nd edition reincarnate tables in a 3.x game.... Great fun having a 9th level Ranger who's a horse!
132. Invisible flying telepath following one character. Talk about hearing voices in their head!

[Inevitability]

133. Break WBL at first level.
134. Buy a warbeast battletitan for 2800 GP.
135. Buy multiple warbeast battletitans.

136. Combine all of the above. Laugh evily.

[Raimun]

137. Tell the party you'll play a Cleric. Roll an Evil Cleric who heals from negative energy. Never prepare Cure-spells, etc.
138. Animate Dead
139. Roll an Aristocrat. Expect royal treatment, even when you don't pull your weight in or out of combat.
140. Demand that the party negotiates with lower plane fiends.
141. Use your share of the loot to start a farm. Insist to continue playing the character.

...

1001. Argue rules as a player even when it's not favoring the party. :smalltongue:

[LarwisTheElf]

142. Play a STP Erudite. Pour all your WBL into getting new spells/powers.

[Inevitability]

143. Write something like this (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?349995-too-much). Ask everyone to sign it, 'just to avoid problems that may otherwise turn up'

[Socksy]

144: Only speak in film references and terrible puns

[ArqArturo]

145. Create a Frenzied berserker with the lowest Will save possible, use frenzy when the fight is almost done and slowly move towards the spellcaster/healer.

[John Longarrow]

144: Only speak in film references and terrible puns

Um... Isn't that HALF the dialog for most games???

[Xalos]

143. Write something like this (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?349995-too-much). Ask everyone to sign it, 'just to avoid problems that may otherwise turn up'

That is one of the best


144: Only speak in film references and terrible puns

That sounds like a great idea!

Wow... nearly 150 ideas! LETS KEEP GOING!

145. Play a rogue
146. Play a Sorcerer with 8 int score

[nedz]

147. Play a character with a one word vocabulary — speak in a monotone. Bonus points if the word is annoying.
148. Play a Bard — Roleplay your music by singing the same annoying pop song in every combat.
149. Create a character which involves as many dysfunctional rules as you can manage — force the DM to continually make up house rules.
150. When DMing: always rail-road and then have some NPC steal the show making the PCs actions irrelevant.
151. When DMing: Make every plot about some high level NPC on NPC action — RPGs are spectator sports.
152. When DMing: Make every NPC characterisation identical, even down to their names.

[dascarletm]

147. Play a character with a one word vocabulary — speak in a monotone. Bonus points if the word is annoying.


This happened to me once. Needless to say the campaign ended after one session.

[ArqArturo]

147. Play a character with a one word vocabulary — speak in a monotone. Bonus points if the word is annoying.

Hodor......

[Xalos]

153. Play a rogue who gives everything to random NPCs....
154. Play a Human Paladin who doesn't know what the word "Celibate" means... - bonus points if you seduce almost every girl you meet.
155. Play a character who can't tell the truth, has to always lie no matter what. - bonus points if you don't tell your party what you're doing.

[Angelalex242]

Is #154 even possible?

Breaking her heart for a night's pleasure is a falling offense, as it's not just chaotic, it's evil.

[Xalos]

Is #154 even possible?

Breaking her heart for a night's pleasure is a falling offense, as it's not just chaotic, it's evil.

i said seduce not make fall in love/attached to you

[Angelalex242]

It's not that easy to control whether she gets attached to you or not. Sooner or later, attachment WILL happen. Maybe it's based on the girl's will save...if she fails the DC, she's actually in love with you, not just looking for fun. After all, a Paladin is normally a prime catch, and since they don't usually philander, she's likely to think she's the one girl in all the world for you, the Lady to your Knight. It's different with Bards, girls expect some love 'em and leave 'em from Bards, but Paladins, not so much. That whole honor thing that gets them into your bed makes it all the easier for them to get attached.

Never mind the sowing wild oats part of it. And THAT might be a Fort Save, perhaps even a successful fort save, as healthier girls are more likely to get pregnant. The Paladin's honor bound to take care of his children, and child support costs will rise exponentially if he keeps doing that.

With all that in mind...Philandering Paladins are highly unlikely to be able to get through more then 3 or 4 girls before they fall for the evil action of breaking someone's heart for their own pleasure.

[Alex12]

Is #154 even possible?

Breaking her heart for a night's pleasure is a falling offense, as it's not just chaotic, it's evil.

Totally possible.
As long as everyone involved understands that it's a one-night-stand (or whatever), it's neither chaotic nor evil. After all, Paladins don't have to be chaste, human(oid)s have certain needs, and considering the sorts of things Paladins are supposed to be dealing with regularly, having a spouse worrying about them would just be mean to the spouse.

[Amphetryon]

It's not that easy to control whether she gets attached to you or not. Sooner or later, attachment WILL happen. Maybe it's based on the girl's will save...if she fails the DC, she's actually in love with you, not just looking for fun. After all, a Paladin is normally a prime catch, and since they don't usually philander, she's likely to think she's the one girl in all the world for you, the Lady to your Knight. It's different with Bards, girls expect some love 'em and leave 'em from Bards, but Paladins, not so much. That whole honor thing that gets them into your bed makes it all the easier for them to get attached.

Never mind the sowing wild oats part of it. And THAT might be a Fort Save, perhaps even a successful fort save, as healthier girls are more likely to get pregnant. The Paladin's honor bound to take care of his children, and child support costs will rise exponentially if he keeps doing that.

With all that in mind...Philandering Paladins are highly unlikely to be able to get through more then 3 or 4 girls before they fall for the evil action of breaking someone's heart for their own pleasure.

There's nothing in the default Paladin's Code that requires fidelity, celibacy, or chastity that I can find. Could you clarify where the rule that philandering is a Falling offense for non-Exalted (BoED) Paladins is located?

[nedz]

156. When DMing: When one of your players has rolled a Paladin, reinterpret the Paladin's code in ways they weren't expecting and make them fall.
157. When DMing: When one of your players has rolled a Paladin, give them a Kobayashi Maru and laugh as they fall.

[Tim Proctor]

156: Play a Dwarven Monk (so you can tumble in full plate) and quote Dwarfucious all the time.

[Angelalex242]

The default Paladin's code can certainly be expected to entail respect for the feelings of your lover if you're going to take one in the first place.




Good implies altruism, respect for life, and a concern for the dignity of sentient beings. Good characters make personal sacrifices to help others.

Law implies honor, trustworthiness, obedience to authority, and reliability. On the downside, lawfulness can include closed-mindedness, reactionary adherence to tradition, judgmentalness, and a lack of adaptability. Those who consciously promote lawfulness say that only lawful behavior creates a society in which people can depend on each other and make the right decisions in full confidence that others will act as they should.

Lawful Good[edit]

A Lawful Good character typically acts with compassion, and always with honor and a sense of duty. A Lawful Good nation would consist of a well-organized government that works for the benefit of its citizens. Lawful Good characters include righteous knights, paladins, and most dwarves. Lawful Good creatures include the noble golden dragons.

Lawful Good characters, especially paladins, may sometimes find themselves faced with the dilemma of whether to obey law or good when the two conflict — for example, upholding a sworn oath when it would lead innocents to come to harm — or conflicts between two orders, such as between their religious law and the law of the local ruler.

In the Complete Scoundrel sourcebook for D&D 3.5, Batman, Detective Tracy and Indiana Jones are cited as examples of Lawful Good characters.[10]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alignment_(Dungeons_%26_Dragons)

[TeslaJr]

**Armok Bonus**

Blood for the Blood God! FOR SCIENCE!

[Sir Chuckles]

127: Base your character's build entley around taking other people's clothes off.
128: Base your character's build entirely around taking YOUR clothes off.
129: Base your character's build around putting clothes on other people.

I humbly request a guide.

[Alex12]

*snip*

And none of this prevents having a one-night stand. It just means that all parties involved have to be aware that it's a one-night stand.
Now, if you go swear eternal love or something to someone, and then up and leave, that's a completely different story.

[Angelalex242]

It doesn't prevent one night stands, if it is thoroughly made clear to the lady in question that's all it is, (you do have to treat her honorably, respectfully, and let her make her own decisions about what she's okay with), but there's still the problem of pregnancy. And contraception in AD&D's world isn't so advanced as ours.

Admittedly, STDs aren't going to problem for disease immune paladins, and he can even cure her of one if she has one.

Using an actual prostitute, however, can still be seen as exploitative and therefore evil.

[Alex12]

It doesn't prevent one night stands, if it is thoroughly made clear to the lady in question that's all it is, (you do have to treat her honorably, respectfully, and let her make her own decisions about what she's okay with), but there's still the problem of pregnancy. And contraception in AD&D's world isn't so advanced as ours.

Admittedly, STDs aren't going to problem for disease immune paladins, and he can even cure her of one if she has one.

I wonder if Cure Disease would count an implanted egg as a parasite?
Or you could assume that, just like there are spells to cure disease, heal injuries, throw fire, fly, teleport, turn invisible, stop time, bring back the dead, travel between dimensions, and so forth, there's a low-level spell that acts as a contraceptive (even without checking, I'm certain BoEF has such a spell)

[Sir Chuckles]

159. Debate the nature of pregnancy, and if Cure Disease can act as a morning after pill.

[MirthTheBard]

When DMing
160: Give the bartender in the Bad Guy's bar the same stats as the badguys
161: Let said bartender's supercrit go through on a PC.

When Playing:
162: Constantly say "if I was DMing...[insert homebrew rule here]"
163: Argue to your DM that d&d wiki is totally acceptable.
164: Don't think about your round until the time comes, and ask multiple questions about the status of everything around each time.

[Angelalex242]

I'd say, if you're trying to avoid pregnancy, you're better off with CAUSE disease.

Or poison.

165: Make sure every one night stand a player character has knocks the girl up. If the PC is female, they get knocked up instead.
166: Equip all enemies with Scythes. You'll roll a 20 sooner or later...

[ArqArturo]

167. Make a paranoid illusionist that thinks that everyone else is either an illusionist, a liar, or both, and constantly declare 'I make a Will save to disbelief' or 'I make a Sense Motive check' for everything that goes around in the game. Even damage, eating, sleeping, going to the bathroom, and/or eating and drinking.

Except cake. That can never be an illusion or a lie.

[Angelalex242]

168:Corollary: All cakes are illusions. Every last one.

[Thealtruistorc]

Create Water in somebody's pants is always a good time.

I recall a campaign once where this happened:

DM: As you move down the cavern, you see spiderwebs along the walls

George: Psion, hand me a torch.

(I hand George a torch)

George: I throw the torch at one of the spiderwebs, and continue burning them until there are none left.

(We all look at him)

George: I REALLY hate spiders.

[Oddman80]

169. DM: you salvage a wooden chest from the fire. Inside are 10 full and unmarked bottles.
OP: I drink one!
Xalos, you deserved to be blown up after that shenanigan

[TheFamilarRaven]

170: Regularly cause minor property damage for no rhyme or reason, (brake through a window, "accidentally" smash a chair,) then just throw heaps of gold around to cover the cost.

171: Overpay for the most mundane things. "One mug of beer is 1 copper piece? Here's my +4 Greatsword I just found in yonder dragon den. Keep the change."

[ArqArturo]

172. Alternatively, max your ranks in diplomacy and appraise, and haggle for all prices, all the time, even when the party wizard decides to craft items

You: Ok, I need you to make X item
Wizard: Hmmm, give me a few days and X gold, and it will be done?
You: X? Don't you think that's too much? Can't you just, you know, cut it down for some stuff less?
Wizard: No, you can't. You need the components.
You: Gimme a list of components, I'll try and get them for you, just charge me less
Wizard: I can't!
You: But... I heard a guy say that they can make me the same item for less money.
Wizard: :smallfurious:

[Yael]

173. Play VoP Monk.
174. Afer 173 agree with one of your teammates to cast on you Embrace the Dark Chaos while you are asleep.
175. Convince new players to play Monk because it's the most OP class because it gives you everything.

[Amphetryon]

Using an actual prostitute, however, can still be seen as exploitative and therefore evil.

Please read the Celebrant of Sharess PrC in FR. It is both Exalted, and dedicated to a goddess of sex and passion who is often called 'The Festhall Madame.'

In other words, this particular view of sexuality and prostitution is not supported by canon in at least one official setting.

[Doorhandle]

I humbly request a guide.

Glad you're also a perv, then. :smallamused:

Most of these are pathfinder only, but likely have 3.5 equivalents.


127 is distressingly easy. Playing a sunder-focused barbarian is simple enough, and there are a bunch of feats that give you bonuses for and from smashing people's armour.
Sleight of hand isn't enough by rules as written, but is more fun this way. You could at least steal a belt or underwear.
A wizard could use various spells to pull off the same tricks, like manic monkeys or grease. Or simply use wind wall around the cute sorceress in a miniskirt.
By far the most fun and most direct (plus less likely to annoy your party by wasting precious loot,) would be building a maneuver-master monk, and focus on dirty trick (pulling down pants), Sunder, disarm, and steal.

129 is less flexible, but still doable. Be a bard, and focus on enchantment spells and things to improve them, and then abuse beguiling gift and/or glibness. Simple enough to trick people into picking up cursed panties and making a monk put on armour. Find a way to get poison use in there, and you could hand them poisoned full plate or toxic potions.

128 is kinda hard. My first thought would be making a character that loses little being naked (arcane casters or monks come to mind) but I'm drawing a blank on getting an actual gain in power form removing clothing as opposed to removing a weakness. It's not like it doesn't have a precedent: think about weighted training clothing, or armour that protects the world from it's wielder and not the other way round.

Bonus points for combining them.

[Oddman80]

176. DM: the incorporeal ghost snaps her fingers and all 5 of the villagers that were chasing you instantly explode (mass disintegrate?).
Xalos: I charge her and attack
(i.e., with all the might OP's level 3 character could, while also using a mundane weapon)

[Sir Chuckles]

~snip~

So what I'm getting is a Bardbarian, focusing on Charisma, Strength, and Dexterity. Possibly taking Ferocity in place of Rage. Speedy Undress from the Book of Nymphology could probably work, being a Bard 1 spell.

However...

177. Ask the DM to use the Book of Nymphology.

[Xalos]

169. DM: you salvage a wooden chest from the fire. Inside are 10 full and unmarked bottles.
OP: I drink one!
Xalos, you deserved to be blown up after that shenanigan

Good point... who is this Mordi? Thunk? Stick? Erica? Yan? Austin?

[Xalos]

176. DM: the incorporeal ghost snaps her fingers and all 5 of the villagers that were chasing you instantly explode (mass disintegrate?).
Xalos: I charge her and attack
(i.e., with all the might OP's level 3 character could, while also using a mundane weapon)

I didn't charge her... I attacked her with my bow cuz she was threatening a party member....

[John Longarrow]

128 is kinda hard. My first thought would be making a character that loses little being naked (arcane casters or monks come to mind) but I'm drawing a blank on getting an actual gain in power form removing clothing as opposed to removing a weakness.

Easy. The less cloths you wear, the better your hide check.
If your naked, your INVISIBLE!!! :elan:

[Loxagn]

178. Play a Frenzied Berserker.
179. At the start of each session, declare a 'Secret Word of the Day'. Make it something stupidly common.
180. Go into a Frenzy each time the word is spoken.

[Oddman80]

Good point... who is this Mordi? Thunk? Stick? Erica? Yan? Austin?

C'mon - you're a ranger... you can't track me down? heh heh heh
jk, it's Thunk.

I figured i should throw in your greatest hits since it seemed like a couple of those early ones you wrote were attributable to me. I hadn't noticed who had started the thread when I began reading the list yesterday. Every other example, though - I was like:

yup. yup. did that.. yup.. this is uncanny... i didn't realize how common our blunders were... (realization sets in - facepalm)... AH! This was posted by a party member

[nedz]

181. Bring your non playing girl-friend along who gets bored and slightly jealous about the lack of attention and so asks you to make her a cup of tea/sandwich/etc as soon as your initiative is called. Oblige her every wish even if that wrecks the flow of the game as everything stops for 5 minutes once a round.

[Xalos]

C'mon - you're a ranger... you can't track me down? heh heh heh
jk, it's Thunk.

I figured i should throw in your greatest hits since it seemed like a couple of those early ones you wrote were attributable to me. I hadn't noticed who had started the thread when I began reading the list yesterday. Every other example, though - I was like:

yup. yup. did that.. yup.. this is uncanny... i didn't realize how common our blunders were... c)... AH! This was posted by a party member

I figured as much i asked in skype if it was thunk... I am a ranger and i did figure it out... your Giantitp account and Skype say same location...

1,2,20,6,9 are attached to our campaign... how did it take you so long to figure out.... 20 even says Mordi.... So I'm guessing that's where realization sets in

[John Longarrow]

182. In a rather OP optimized/silly game, playing a human MONK for the "RP challenge".

[Elkad]

154. Play a Human Paladin who doesn't know what the word "Celibate" means... - bonus points if you seduce almost every girl you meet.


Is #154 even possible?

Breaking her heart for a night's pleasure is a falling offense, as it's not just chaotic, it's evil.


i said seduce not make fall in love/attached to you

I've played in a game with a Paladin who worshiped a fertility goddess. It was his sacred duty to offer to impregnate every female we met. A paladin of a pleasure/lust deity could have a similar obligation, without the required baby-making, just some good fun.

[Xalos]

I've played in a game with a Paladin who worshiped a fertility goddess. It was his sacred duty to offer to impregnate every female we met. A paladin of a pleasure/lust deity could have a similar obligation, without the required baby-making, just some good fun.

hmmm... i was thinking of a celibate deity when i mentioned my post... but that is GENIUS!

[ArqArturo]

183. Play a Shining Blade of Heironeous.

[ArqArturo]

184. DM only: Use the Tomb of Horrors, and when the players are running to the end, they find that their foe is a sandwich.

[John Longarrow]

184. DM only: Use the Tomb of Horrors, and when the players are running to the end, they find that their foe is a sandwich.

Naaa.... Much more evil. Let the party THINK this is going to be a normal adventure, THEN break out Tomb of Horrors!!! Hehehehheeehehaehaaheheheeee

[Inevitability]

186. Be Pun-Pun
187. Set up a foundation where you learn people how to become Pun-Pun, as long as they pay you enough.

[Socksy]

188: Three words: The Spanish Inquisition.

[illyahr]

Or you could assume that, just like there are spells to cure disease, heal injuries, throw fire, fly, teleport, turn invisible, stop time, bring back the dead, travel between dimensions, and so forth, there's a low-level spell that acts as a contraceptive (even without checking, I'm certain BoEF has such a spell)

It's called Block the Seed and it's a 1st-level arcane AND divine spell. :smallamused:

[John Longarrow]

188: Three words: The Spanish Inquisition.

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!!

To the comfy chair with you!!!

[Angelalex242]

In D&D, however, it's probably the St. Cuthbert Inquisition, full of a holy hit squad of Miko like Paladins and Clerics just as bad.

[ArqArturo]

189. "I think I'll play an Elan psion... *a few hours later* I make a craft check to make a sandwich".

[Angelalex242]

190:In an evil campaign, a holy hitsquad of clerics and paladins backed up by celestials makes life miserable for the PCs wherever they go.
191:Any theft done by a PC likewise calls out the Holy Hitsquad, so stealing that sword +1 leads to a TPK.

[ArqArturo]

190:In an evil campaign, a holy hitsquad of clerics and paladins backed up by celestials makes life miserable for the PCs wherever they go.
191:Any theft done by a PC likewise calls out the Holy Hitsquad, so stealing that sword +1 leads to a TPK.

I tried 190 once. It ended with the players throwing dice at me. Worst still, it was their previous characters from another campaign.

[Angelalex242]

If they threw dice at you, it means you did well, young padawan.

192:Always keep the character sheets of your players as a GM. When they play an evil campaign, you get to use their own characters to kill them with. Of course, you can use their evil characters to attack their good characters too.

[John Longarrow]

193. During the game you surf the internet on your laptop because "All that talking stuff is boring".
194. Your entire motivation for playing is so you can "Face Rape" something.

NOTE: 194 was in ONE session. ONE. NO MORE.

195. Sexting during a session.

See comment on 194.

And people wonder why DMs don't jump at the chance to let people into their games...

[Dread_Head]

196. When starting a sandbox campaign spend the entire session going to the pub and waiting for something interesting to happen.
197. Use roleplaying this as an excuse to get drunk OOC.
198. Automatically attack everything you meet in a dungeon even you know one of the players has died and is going to be introducing a new character soon.
199. When in a losing fight against demons and the party is all on very low health and has just agreed to run away decide to kill one more demon. The one which you know from previous experience explodes and causes damage in a radius when it dies.

[Story]

28. DON'T change any pregenerated module to make party appropriate encounters.

I actually had that happen throughout the last campaign I was in. The group consisted of minmaxers, so the party got more and more shamelessly OP over time while the DM continued to run pre-made adventure modules without any optimization or scaling of the threat. By the end, we were effortlessly sailing through dungeons designed to be challenging for a party 3 levels higher.

[Socksy]

200: Slowly start role-playing as Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory OOC. Wait for someone to notice. Slip in the occasional 'Bazinga' if you have to.

[Thealtruistorc]

201: Create Water in pants

202: Throw explosives down every dungeon hallway

203: Hugging your quarry while a fellow party member attempts a diplomacy check

204: Fly over a barricade

205: Perform (Chippendales)

These all come from experience

[Hangwind]

205: Perform (Chippendales)



Wouldn't that be Perform(Burlesque)? If you can select a specific group to perform as though:smallamused:

My next session is going to be fun!

[Raimun]

206. You know the paladin code and how it restricts you and your party? Invent your own code! Eg. Fighter Code.
207. You do not talk about Fighter Code.
208. You do not talk about Fighter Code!

[ArqArturo]

209. Play a bard that only sings when he bathes.

[Judge_Worm]

210. Play a barbarian, stay illiterate, put all skill points in diplomacy, bluff, speak language, and various knowledge domains. Use all feats on things like leadership, and skill focus.

211. As a wizard use all skills and feats like a martial class, wear the heaviest armor you can. Attack with melee. Use all spells for mundane purposes (speak with dead to ask where the bathroom is, magic missile to open a window, fill spellbook with explosive runes, wish to tie shoes, etc.)

[Kazudo]

212. Be a ranged fighter who specializes into shooting into combat. Don't take Precise Shot.
213. Be the DM of the group with 212 in it. Use critical failure rules.

[ArqArturo]

214. Always forget your character sheet at home. If the DM insists on keeping the character sheet, write it in the worst letter as possible (although this would be detrimental for everyone).

215. Eat crunchy snacks when roleplaying. Or...

216. When the DM is describing something, go to the kitchen to look for a soda. If you can't find one, ask him where's the X soda.

[Yael]

210. Play a barbarian, stay illiterate, put all skill points in diplomacy, bluff, speak language, and various knowledge domains. Use all feats on things like leadership, and skill focus.
You are describing my president.

217. DM: Run a game with 14 players.
218. DM: Try to have all of them pay attention to your game.
219. DM: Fail Miserably.

217b. Player: Run a game composed by other 13 players and only one DM.
218b. Player: Don't play attention to the game.
219b. Player: Profit.

[Amphetryon]

You are describing my president.

217. DM: Run a game with 14 players.
218. DM: Try to have all of them pay attention to your game.
219. DM: Fail Miserably.

217b. Player: Run a game composed by other 13 players and only one DM.
218b. Player: Don't play attention to the game.
219b. Player: Profit.

220: Run a 'come one, come all' game where attendance varies from 3 Players to 18 Players within 2 weeks. Attempt to create a cohesive plot and appropriate challenges before arriving at the game.

[sideswipe]

220: Run a 'come one, come all' game where attendance varies from 3 Players to 18 Players within 2 weeks. Attempt to create a cohesive plot and appropriate challenges before arriving at the game.

i am currently GMing a homebrew (by me) system in which i can have between 2 and 9 players each week. so i know the feeling. they are also all noobs bar the exception of two so they have no idea what unit coherency is.

it is fun to try and run it well

[Bullet06320]

221: play a dwarf with weapon focus halfing, and always start combat by tossing the party halfing at the enemy
222: play a dwarf with ranks in drunken singing, then actually rp it
223: play a dwarf that thinks gems are shiny snacks
224: play a dwarf with all 3 of the above

[Jormengand]

225: Play an Incarnate with leadership. Your followers are a Paladin, Paladin of Slaughter, Paladin of Freedom and paladin of Tyranny. Have fun.

[sideswipe]

226. say you will be the party healer - play an expert with the heal skill maxed out.
227. when they complain role a factotum with Opportunistic piety and say you "can heal"
228. say fine someone else be healer. i will play specialist. specialise only in craft and performing.
229. when they say you are not useful to the party bring PUN-PUN and complain the rest are pathetic and holding you back and provide no help to the party.

[Inevitability]

230. LARP in a non-LARP campaign.

231. Don't LARP in a LARP campaign.

[Zubrowka74]

148. Play a Bard — Roleplay your music by singing the same annoying pop song in every combat.

A Rick-rolling Bard?

[Xaroth]

232. Have the party become incredibly skeptical about casting a wish spell by making them get incredibly specific unless they want to suffer the consequences.

Suffering the consequences example:
DM: Trev's throat is cut.
*bleeds out*
Me: I use one of my wishes on my Ring.
DM: What's your wish?
Me: I wish he reverted to how he was when he woke up.
DM: ...alright, he's alive with his throat cut and he bleeds out. Again.

233. Grant the party time to think out and carefully plan out their wish. Then turn it around horribly.

DM: Dante's lower half is gone.
Austin: I summon a Djinni to grant a wish!
DM: Oh great(!) What's your wish? Now think about this carefully.
*spend 10 minutes carefully planning out the phrasing of the wish*
Austin: I wish Dante had legs that were perfect for his size, perfect for his race, his stature, his physical attributes, everything. I wish for him to have a set of legs perfect for him and in perfect condition.
*the Djinni rips Trev's legs off and attaches them to Dante*

[ArqArturo]

232. Have the party become incredibly skeptical about casting a wish spell by making them get incredibly specific unless they want to suffer the consequences.

Suffering the consequences example:
DM: Trev's throat is cut.
*bleeds out*
Me: I use one of my wishes on my Ring.
DM: What's your wish?
Me: I wish he reverted to how he was when he woke up.
DM: ...alright, he's alive with his throat cut and he bleeds out. Again.

233. Grant the party time to think out and carefully plan out their wish. Then turn it around horribly.

DM: Dante's lower half is gone.
Austin: I summon a Djinni to grant a wish!
DM: Oh great(!) What's your wish? Now think about this carefully.
*spend 10 minutes carefully planning out the phrasing of the wish*
Austin: I wish Dante had legs that were perfect for his size, perfect for his race, his stature, his physical attributes, everything. I wish for him to have a set of legs perfect for him and in perfect condition.
*the Djinni rips Trev's legs off and attaches them to Dante*

I really can't do it. One of my friends is an attorney.


You are describing my president.


We share the pain :smallfrown:.

[Oddman80]

the Djinni rips Trev's legs off and attaches them to Dante*

Ha! I just snarfed at work.
Thanks for the laugh, despite the embarrassment.

[Angelalex242]

Alive with his throat cut and he bleeds out, again...

'That still takes 10 rounds to bleed out. Did nobody have a cure light wounds?'
'But if they didn't, it should be noted that if they do resurrect him again, he's actually down /2/ levels. Wish is not True Res, and it does not prevent level loss. Bummer.'

[Xaroth]

Alive with his throat cut and he bleeds out, again...

'That still takes 10 rounds to bleed out. Did nobody have a cure light wounds?'
'But if they didn't, it should be noted that if they do resurrect him again, he's actually down /2/ levels. Wish is not True Res, and it does not prevent level loss. Bummer.'

Nobody did, it was actually kinda sad. I had potions of cure serious wounds but that's it.

It eventually got to a gross misinterpretation that reverted the epic-level character to first level.

[Angelalex242]

How'd THAT one happen? A wish simply can't impose that many negative levels. You'd have trouble doing that with maximized empowered energy drain. (Which would deal 8+1d4 negative levels.)

Otherwise, next evil superboss I see, I just wish him down to level 1.

[Xaroth]

How'd THAT one happen? A wish simply can't impose that many negative levels. You'd have trouble doing that with maximized empowered energy drain. (Which would deal 8+1d4 negative levels.)

Otherwise, next evil superboss I see, I just wish him down to level 1.

I wished that he woke up in the condition he was a night before that night and he ended up waking up in the condition he was in when he woke up the day after his graduation from wizardry college, which is where his character began from.

[DMMerthasMalkir]

it was funny, they screwed him up so badly before. it was a game where there were no divine casters, so the all decided "hey, lets do field surgery to save this guy!"

and it did not work out well.

[Xaroth]

it was funny, they screwed him up so badly before. it was a game where there were no divine casters, so the all decided "hey, lets do field surgery to save this guy!"

and it did not work out well.

Ladies and Gentlemen, my DM.

[Angelalex242]

I wished that he woke up in the condition he was a night before that night and he ended up waking up in the condition he was in when he woke up the day after his graduation from wizardry college, which is where his character began from.

Okay, but what's to prevent me from wishing every bad guy I see to 'wake up in the condition he was in the day after he graduated from his training'

Terrible precedent to set, ya know.

[zahlfrin]

234: Mind-blow everyone in the party by asking "what would happen if we put a bag of holding inside another bag of holding"?

235: After a (minimum) 20-minutes discussion about WHY WOULDN'T YOU DO IT, Actually do it in-game... Enjoy dividing by zero!! XD
*Bonus points: Throw both bags of holding in¡side a dimension door and use planeshift to save yourself ONLY.

236: PROFIT.


BTW: I know i will "sound" like a total D-bag, but I would actually like to try some of the ideas here...
**Please excuse my English. It's not my native language**

[Xaroth]

Okay, but what's to prevent me from wishing every bad guy I see to 'wake up in the condition he was in the day after he graduated from his training'

Terrible precedent to set, ya know.

Fair point, but my DM is basically anti-wish and will do everything in his power to make the wish as bad for us as possible.

[Angelalex242]

He can be anti wish all he wants, but Wish has a pre approved list of things you can do with it written into the spell description. He can't mess with that stuff.

When you cast that spell, you need to put the book down in front of him and make him read in black and white what the spell description says.

[Yael]

234: Mind-blow everyone in the party by asking "what would happen if we put a bag of holding inside another bag of holding"?

Already did, awesomely enough, they answered correctly.

237. Play a Tibbit and take [Feline] (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/fools/20030401c) feats. Purr every humanoid to their doom. Profit-nya.
238. Play a Tibbit druid who uses all its Wild Shapes post 5th to become a house cat.
239. Play a Tibbit and end every sentence with a "-meow" or "-nya". This will annoy everyone.
240. Mind blown/annoy your DM with <238+239>.

[Inevitability]

241. Make your emotionally troubled character commit suicide, just as the DM had a whole story arc planned out for him.

242. Do so in the middle of the other PC's, while fighting an important enemy.

243. Cast Death Throes on yourself before killing yourself.

[Xaroth]

Already did, awesomely enough, they answered correctly.

And what would be the correct answer?

[Xalos]

And what would be the correct answer?

good question....

[Thealtruistorc]

244: Show your DM an incredibly busted build you found online.

245: Ask to play it

[Amphetryon]

He can be anti wish all he wants, but Wish has a pre approved list of things you can do with it written into the spell description. He can't mess with that stuff.

When you cast that spell, you need to put the book down in front of him and make him read in black and white what the spell description says.

At which point "As explained earlier, Wish works differently in my campaign, and almost always can lead to unforeseen consequences" is a perfectly valid response, I'd think.

[Angelalex242]

My response?

246:Rule 0 things willy nilly.

[ArqArturo]

247. Play a fighter, and pick Toughness every fighter level feat.

[Thealtruistorc]

248: Vow of Nonviolence to impose attack penalties on your fellow party members
249: Vow of Peace to make any weapon used against you shatter
250: Apostle of Peace Prc and abusing your calming touch
251: Taking all that and being Chaotic so you can relentlessly harass your fellow party members with the above abilities.

[Sir Chuckles]

Person experience in the session I had yesterday.
252. Ask your players every few rounds, in a very monotone voice, "Would you like to draw from the Deck of Many Things?"
253. Have a homebrew "God of Gambling" that gains divine experience whenever someone draws from the Deck of Many Things.
254. Center 252 on the most resistant player.

[Alex12]

Person experience in the session I had yesterday.
252. Ask your players every few rounds, in a very monotone voice, "Would you like to draw from the Deck of Many Things?"
253. Have a homebrew "God of Gambling" that gains divine experience whenever someone draws from the Deck of Many Things.
254. Center 252 on the most resistant player.

255: Instead of drawing from a Deck of Many Things or similarly random artifact (such as a Deck of Transformations), sell the opportunity to draw from the deck to people in the cities.

[Angelalex242]

256:Do all of the above with the Deck of Many Things as a bard offering draws while singing Dr. Facillier's 'Friends on the other Side.'

[Xalos]

just got done with a game... so got a few

257. Start a drinking contest with one of your enemies
258. Kill a lady for no reason other than XP
259. Punt the gnome!
260. Jump in-front of the fast moving carriage

[Yael]

And what would be the correct answer?


good question....

Quote from Wizard's (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/rg/20051101a).


One bag of holding can be placed safely inside another (of course, the first bag's weight counts against what the second bag can hold).


241. Make your emotionally troubled character commit suicide, just as the DM had a whole story arc planned out for him.

242. Do so in the middle of the other PC's, while fighting an important enemy.

243. Cast Death Throes on yourself before killing yourself.

I just RoFLMAO enough to draw everyone in my house's attention.


261. Play a fighter wich speciallization is using certain weapon.
261b. Never use that weapon.
*Bonus if you ask the party caster/manifester to erase your character's memory about the existance of that weapon, or just forget it, keeping the feats but not being cappable of using them at all.
*Double Bonus if you are the only tankish member (even if it's not needed.)
*Triple Bonus if you are already level 10th (or higher, but here on stacking bonuses is fairly useful.)
*Quadra Bonus if you were the only melee PC.
*Penta Bonus if you argue to your DM to change its speciallization towards other weapon with the argument: "I just need to replace all that knowledge into another weapon." Without expending GP or EXP to retrain.
*Hexa Bonus if you Succeed.

Profit.

262. Repeat 261 but with an speciallized Wizard.

[Xalos]

263. Play a Light Paladin if there is a Dark Paladin in your group
264. Play a Dark Paladin if there is a Light Paladin in your group
265. Talk with a friend and introduce them at the same exact time....
266. Bonus if their backstory says they are best friends or dating.

[Angelalex242]

267:Just for lulz, have it be a Paladin of Heironeus and a Blackguard of Hextor. Cause that'll fly really well with both deities. :P

[Alex12]

267:Just for lulz, have it be a Paladin of Heironeus and a Blackguard of Hextor. Cause that'll fly really well with both deities. :P

268: Alarmingly, a Paladin of Wee Jas and a Blackguard of Wee Jas working together is theoretically possible. Abuse this fact.

[Michellus]

269: Have everyone in the party get fleas and then spend 3 hours discussing wether to wash yourselves first and then the clothes or vice versa. Or if you should wash both at the same time. Bonus points for an analysis of the pros and cons of each method.

Not our brightest moment during a game but it still gives us a good laugh from time to time.

[EldritchArisano]

270: play a warforged warlock, insist the party doesnt need sleep
271: play a warlock who uses Flee the scene constantly
272: play an elan egoist10/thrallherd10 with thralls( telepath9/th10 and shaper8/th10) that have thralls ad infinitum
273: use fusion with all thralls and a friendly nomad10/metamind10
274: abuse temporal reiteration and font of power to remain fused forever
275: dominate every mind flayer/beholder/aberrition you meet
276: fuse with them too
277: become the only living aberrition
278: polymorph into a dragon
279: dominate every dragon you meet
280: fuse with them too
281: repeat with outsiders, humanoids, magical beasts, fey, and punpun

[sideswipe]

270: play a warforged warlock, insist the party doesnt need sleep
271: play a warlock who uses Flee the scene constantly
272: play an elan egoist10/thrallherd10 with thralls( telepath9/th10 and shaper8/th10) that have thralls ad infinitum
273: use fusion with all thralls and a friendly nomad10/metamind10
274: abuse temporal reiteration and font of power to remain fused forever
275: dominate every mind flayer/beholder/aberrition you meet
276: fuse with them too
277: become the only living aberrition
278: polymorph into a dragon
279: dominate every dragon you meet
280: fuse with them too
281: repeat with outsiders, humanoids, magical beasts, fey, and punpun

thumbs up!

[Kazudo]

282. (Star Wars d20) Write the following on a note card while the group is deciding on what to do and the DM has begun railroading to get back to the prefab adventure:



I'm going to follow the guy in the preplanned adventure that we're supposed to take no notice of, but you seem to want us to anyway. He's a coward. He'll run. He's been at all the gunfights we'v'e had and skidooed early every time. I'm going to get the frequency and access to his commlink. Listen in for a bit. Send a really high pitched tone causing him to jump and become paranoid. The people he's communicating with tell him to meet them in a bit at a location to fix his comm link. I'll follow him as he leaves early. I'll use my stealth exceptionally well to get behind him and whisper in his ear "Why do you run from gunfights?" I'll watch him run, then stun him with my pistol. I'll walk over and begin threatening him if he doesn't find a way to get the stormtroopers out of the main cargo bay. If I fail miserably at my rolls, he'll say how the empire will give him a fate worse than death if he works against them, and that being shot is a blessing. I'll let him walk away, then stun him again. While he's on his knees, I'll lean in and mimic his voice as close as possible and begin preaching the word of rebellion over the comms link. When I inevitably fail my deception check and they ask me who I am and where I got this frequency, I'll say simply "He gave it to me." and leave him stunned while the stormtroopers descend upon him to ensure that he receives the fate worse than death for not cooperating.


Then, once all of that plays out exactly, hand the note card to the DM and watch as he reads in horror.

[Ferronach]

283: I once ran a campaign where the party found a very large tunnel system under the ruins of an abandoned castle. The party fell down a chute into a hallway. The chute a a 150' drop with shear sides but the last 30' was full of gelatinous cubes (easily dispatched by the party at this point) to provide a "soft landing". I ruled that feather fall and the like did not work as the chute was a "slide" of sorts. the halway was 20' long and had a door at either end. One door was an impressive metal door, encrusted in gems and covered with runes. The other door was a flimsy wooden door that appeared entirely mundane. The cocky party (level 16ish IIRC) rapidly decided that the shiny door was the way to go... what they failed to realize ios that the runes said something along the lines of "here lies the undying and unslayable horror that is high dracolich blah blah blah." They just saw the "shiny" side of things and figured that the room was full of treasure. Being the jerk that I am, the treasure was behind the untrapped wooden door. Had they stopped to read the door it would have prevented a TPK. Needless to say, if a group that I am DMing ever gets too cocky, I use a simmilar situation... It gets the every time

These happened to me in the last session I played:
284: as a NE character in a generally NN group, my buddy decided to tell the town guards that the group murdered the head priest (we didn't really).
285: get the group into the jail
286: know convince the rogue to escape while the warforged tank (me) fights the guards
287: break into the guard captains trunk (which is empty)
288: place a pack of rations into the chest
289: watch the "WTF" reaction of the rest of the party...

then the DM blew everyones mind by:
290: informing the party that the town's guardian was sitting in the corner watching the whole time because no-one bothered to look around the room and notice him...

[Judge_Worm]

291. Dip 5 levels in commoner.
292. Gestalt as an adept/cleric. Take healing, healing, and protection as domains. Have negative energy in a good aligned party, or positive in an evil one.
293. As a DM, create a rival party of murder hobo-ers and use them to kill npc's right before your PC's can collect the reward. Use the PC's character sheets for the rival party just change the names, don't worry your average PC's will never figure out how to work together to win.

[Angelalex242]

294:Make the murderhobos true hobos, that don't look good, don't smell good, and own nothing of worth save magic items. Alignments reverse to be opposite the PC's. Alignment based classes are converted to their equal opposites.

[Xalos]

295. Everytime one of your party members dies bother everyone to make a long drawn out funeral session for a whole session.
296. If you die bother everyone to make a long drawn out funeral session for a whole session.

[Yael]

297. Do a two-session planning to murder a king, making your DM work a lot, and finish the job just by screwing up everything by power wording him by distance.

298. Hire profesional assassins to kill your party because you couldn't take 90% of the loot (obviously, tier 1.)

299. Kill yourself after your party was killed.

300. Yell at the DM that it was unfair to kill your party just like that, that those assassins should have been a fair challenge.

[helix_hex]

301: ask to play a shadow.

302:ask to play an unarmed swordsage.

303: play a shadow unarmed swordsage.

304: use 301-303 and the first thing you do is kill an entire city full of people proceeding to the next city, etc. then when the dm tries to kill you off go into the underdark with you undead shadow spawns and periodically send armies of spawns to the surface to kill people off.

[Xaroth]

283: I once ran a campaign where the party found a very large tunnel system under the ruins of an abandoned castle. The party fell down a chute into a hallway. The chute a a 150' drop with shear sides but the last 30' was full of gelatinous cubes (easily dispatched by the party at this point) to provide a "soft landing". I ruled that feather fall and the like did not work as the chute was a "slide" of sorts. the halway was 20' long and had a door at either end. One door was an impressive metal door, encrusted in gems and covered with runes. The other door was a flimsy wooden door that appeared entirely mundane. The cocky party (level 16ish IIRC) rapidly decided that the shiny door was the way to go... what they failed to realize ios that the runes said something along the lines of "here lies the undying and unslayable horror that is high dracolich blah blah blah." They just saw the "shiny" side of things and figured that the room was full of treasure. Being the jerk that I am, the treasure was behind the untrapped wooden door. Had they stopped to read the door it would have prevented a TPK. Needless to say, if a group that I am DMing ever gets too cocky, I use a simmilar situation... It gets the every time

These happened to me in the last session I played:
284: as a NE character in a generally NN group, my buddy decided to tell the town guards that the group murdered the head priest (we didn't really).
285: get the group into the jail
286: know convince the rogue to escape while the warforged tank (me) fights the guards
287: break into the guard captains trunk (which is empty)
288: place a pack of rations into the chest
289: watch the "WTF" reaction of the rest of the party...

then the DM blew everyones mind by:
290: informing the party that the town's guardian was sitting in the corner watching the whole time because no-one bothered to look around the room and notice him...

https://p.gr-assets.com/540x540/fit/hostedimages/1380368885/721452.gif

[John Longarrow]

305. When you come to that massive adamantine door that you shouldn't be able to go past, do everything in your power to STEAL THE DOOR. Proceed to use THE DOOR as protection through the rest of the dungeon.
306. Use magic to find glyphs in the dungeon. Send in skeletons to dig out the glyphs. Have the skeletons preceed you through the dungeon holding the glyphs in front of them.
307. Kill a whale. Hollow it out and make a cozy little base inside. Animate, spell stitch, and awaken the whale. Give it permanent overland flight. Make it invisible.
308. Have your rogue/enchanter help out the necromance in conning the paladin into riding around in the whale. Bonus points for having a level in mind bender and being one of the two characters that can communicate with the whale.
309. DM reminds party that they pissed off Orcus, so the whale is now free-willed.

305 and 306 were done by a friend of mine to his poor DM. We did 307 and 308 in a different game, the the DM caught us with 309. It was worth it though. NOTHING screams munchkin like having your own invisible, flying, undead whale stronghold.

[Xalos]

305. When you come to that massive adamantine door that you shouldn't be able to go past, do everything in your power to STEAL THE DOOR. Proceed to use THE DOOR as protection through the rest of the dungeon.
306. Use magic to find glyphs in the dungeon. Send in skeletons to dig out the glyphs. Have the skeletons preceed you through the dungeon holding the glyphs in front of them.
307. Kill a whale. Hollow it out and make a cozy little base inside. Animate, spell stitch, and awaken the whale. Give it permanent overland flight. Make it invisible.
308. Have your rogue/enchanter help out the necromance in conning the paladin into riding around in the whale. Bonus points for having a level in mind bender and being one of the two characters that can communicate with the whale.
309. DM reminds party that they pissed off Orcus, so the whale is now free-willed.

305 and 306 were done by a friend of mine to his poor DM. We did 307 and 308 in a different game, the the DM caught us with 309. It was worth it though. NOTHING screams munchkin like having your own invisible, flying, undead whale stronghold.

310. Threaten the local guards with an flying undead invisible whale....

[Immabozo]

311. Have the party roll will saves randomly, rejoice when one fails. Say "Apparently, nothing happens."

[Sliver]

312. Give your players no information unless asked about specifically.

Actual experience :

Rogue opens the door.
DM: Alright, roll initiative. *we roll* Sliver goes first.
Me: ...
DM: Well?
Me: What'sin the room?
DM: Mephits.
Me: Ummm... Okay, I cast fireball for... X damage.
DM: Roll reflex against the damage.
Me: What? Why?
DM: The room is 20x20, so you hit yourself. Now the mephits... 10 summon more mephits while the others attack.
Me: ... Oh, I forgot. I had made other plans. Let me know how it went.

I didn't have the best experiences in my first year of playing D&D...

[Ferronach]

313: take the party's weapons away - because you can
314: find a reason to give the party new weapons
315: make the "new" weapons different types to those that they were using
316: refuse to tell the party what the weapons do
317: neglect to the party that the weapons are all cursed in various ways

happened to me sadly....


I got revenge by doing the following in a later game where I DM'ed
318: make party undead
319: make them all different types of undead and don't tell them
320: force them to figure out (in game) what type they are
321: watch as they send the barbarian out into the sun to see if they are vampires (he isn't)
322: when they see nothing happen and decide that it is safe for them to all exit the necromancer's crypt make the wizard (the dm mentioned above) roll a couple of dice
323: ignore his rolls and proceed to inform him that his character is now a pile of dust as he was turned into a vampire :smallamused::belkar:

[ArqArturo]

324. Make a Judge Dredd-ish Cleric of St. Cuthbert, and max Diplomacy to convince local rulers that you are in a higher position than they, even kings/emperors.

325. Play a bard that refuses to sing because he is cursed with having physical manifestations of what his songs are about. Example: Songs about battles actually give him wounds (1d4+1 damage per round), songs of love affect him like he's under a love potion (saving throw and all), drinking songs make him drunk, etc.

[John Longarrow]

ArqArturo

OK, I'm now making a list of songs this bard would sing himself to sleep by as well as those he would NEVER want to think about.

One round of "Bad, Bad, Leroy Brown" and he'd need a good plastic surgeon!

[Immabozo]

324: this thread (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?342604-Can-you-swing-a-pig-weighing-your-max-load)

TL;DR turn's the level 1 commoner flaw "Pig Bond" into a black hole

[ArqArturo]

ArqArturo

OK, I'm now making a list of songs this bard would sing himself to sleep by as well as those he would NEVER want to think about.

One round of "Bad, Bad, Leroy Brown" and he'd need a good plastic surgeon!

My friends (DM included) looked at me funny when I did it:

DM: Ok, so the ogres reach their flails and their shields. Roll initiative
Friend 1 (who was playing a paladin): Ok, can you do a song to buff us?
Me: By bard looks at you in fear and ask 'Really!? Right now... Ok, I guess'. I do Bardic music, and deal myself... 3 points of damage
Players: :smalleek:
DM:... Uh, why?
Me: It's the curse. You suddenly see sword cuts and arrow wounds all over him
DM: You... You don't need to
Players: :smallfurious:
Me: It's the curse, dagnabit!.

[John Longarrow]

At least you didn't start singing "Relax" by Frankie goes to Hollywood or "I touch myself" by DIVINYLS.

[Ferronach]

A number of ACDC songs could result in an incredible amount of giggles...
TNT
Highway to ...
Thunderstruck
Shook me all night long

[FidgetySquirrel]

326: As DM, put the party paladin in a situation where he must either respect the law or fight the local military to save innocent lives. The paladin succeeds and escapes. The party later finds out about an evil threat to the city-state and are trying to figure out a way to save the people w/o getting tpk'd by the absurdly LN government forces. When a new player joins the group and wants to be a rogue, don't fill her in at all to what's been going on, have her give a message to the party that if they help save the city, they'll be pardoned. Promptly surround the party of level 9 characters with 40 level 7 NPCs with PC class levels, 10 of which are wizards. Turns out the evil threat had already been stopped, and with such a powerful army, it's no surprise! :smallmad:

327: As DM, when the party goes completely off the rails, throw an ancient green dragon at them... at level 7!

328: As DM, have the BBEG give one of the party members an obscure clue to his next target. When the player figures out the answer immediately, while playing a character whose INT would justify this, have the BBEG show up first anyway and unleash a CR 13 monster at him. Tell him "If you can survive until everyone else escapes, I'll let you live." That character happens to be CG and thousands of lives are at risk, so the decision is obvious. Oh, and did I mention he was level 9? The DM seriously responded with "It's CR's only 4 above your level, it's not technically an overwhelming encounter." :smallfurious:

329: Play fighter with high CON. Find magical ring that grants use of good domain spells. Convince all enemies that you're an unstoppable paladin. Laugh as underleveled mooks BELIEVE you!

[Captnq]

330. Talk to the other players about working out tactics ahead of time. Explain that your go to move will be to set yourself on fire and explode like a phoenix. Forget to mention you have no means of coming back.
331. Turn undead. Start eating things. Puke everything you eat back up. Pull out your own internal organs. Play jump rope with your own intestine. Act as if you are in complete denial that you are undead.
332. Play an elf. When everyone else goes to sleep, stare at them. All Night. Ask for creepy details, like if anyone drools. Become obsessed with dreams and what it's like to sleep. Constantly ask questions about what people dreamed about last night. Discuss you figured out a way to have dreams but you need some material components from a creature that has dreams. If anyone asks, just mumble and mention they aren't suitable. Ask the DM to mention to the other players when you aren't in the room that you have started to sharpen long skewers at night, but are obviously trying to hide the fact from the rest of the party.
333. Play a pacificist priest who refuses to harm anyone. However, when combat starts enter a frothing frenzy and murder as hard as you can. When the combat is over, berate the rest of the party for being so violent. Never admit you killed anyone. If anyone presses the matter, murder them as hard as you can, then refuse to admit you did it.
334. Wear a costume. Not your PC, YOU. Wear it poorly. Insist everyone calls you by your character name. Bonus points if your costume looks nothing like your PC. Order Pizza and answer the door. Flirt, regardless of gender.
335. Play a halfling rogue. Insist that everyone refer to you as the party "cook". Discuss everything in cooking terms. Go to the thieves guild and try to get it changed to the Cook's Guild. Name your PC Gordon Ramsay.
336. Play a Wizard and/or Artificer. Chop EV-REE-THING up for parts. Discuss the many uses of every creature for spell components or crafting magic items, CONSTANTLY. Take craft wondrous item. Constantly give the rest of your party useful magic items that are made out of horrific monster gore. Headbands of Intellect with eyeballs that constantly twitch and glance about, for example. (Remember, special effect is free.) Spring it on the other PCs about 6 sessions in that you are also a cannibal.
337. Keep looking at the DM and asking, "Now?" Look hopeful and hold up a d20. When the DM looks confused, put it down and say, "Later. Got it."
338. Keep asking if anyone else just had to make a will save.
339. Magic items can be made out of anything with a GP value, so make all your magic items out of Gold, silver, and platinum. Make your Spellbook out of hammered sheets of gold. Make scrolls out of rolled up sheets of silver. Make your wizard robes out of strips of platinum. Get a giant sundial and wear it around your neck. Wear a horned helmet. Put metal on your teeth. Call yourself a blingmancer.
340. Get an amulet of ooze riding.Get the spell Ooze Puppet. Cast it on a mustard jelly. Call him Condiment. Ride him around and feed your fallen enemies to him while talking to your mustard jelly in a baby voice, "Does Condiment want a hot dog? Yes he DOES! Yes he DOES!"
341. Claim to have a demilich as a familiar that resulted from using Summon Familiar in a wild magic zone. Get a skull and cast illusions on it. Have it act very pompous and threating to everyone, but tell everyone it's harmless because it's your familiar. Have the skull constantly speak in a base, rumble about how it wants to feed on souls. Laugh at the skull and use it for bowling. Bonus points if you have this happen in a bar.
342. Play a wizard named Pyrus Incendium. Complain about it being cold, constantly. Complain that the waitress never gets your meat cooked enough. Reheat your steak with a fireball. While you are sitting in front of it. In a tavern.

[FidgetySquirrel]

341. Claim to have a demilich as a familiar that resulted from using Summon Familiar in a wild magic zone. Get a skull and cast illusions on it. Have it act very pompous and threating to everyone, but tell everyone it's harmless because it's your familiar. Have the skull constantly speak in a base, rumble about how it wants to feed on souls. Laugh at the skull and use it for bowling. Bonus points if you have this happen in a bar.

PLEASE tell me this actually happened!!!

[Captnq]

PLEASE tell me this actually happened!!!

No. But one of my players worked out how to have a dracolich as a familiar. Purely for theroretical reasons, mind you.

[Alex12]

No. But one of my players worked out how to have a dracolich as a familiar. Purely for theroretical reasons, mind you.
I would like to see this method.
Purely for...theoretical reasons, of course. Yes, theoretical reasons. That is all. I am certainly not planning on trying to use this. Not at all. That would be wrong.

[Thealtruistorc]

342: Use that one artificer infusion to scribe black tentacles into the other party members' armor while they sleep. Threaten them with it constantly.

343: When a character is rebuilt for whatever reason, celebrate by stuffing explosive material down the previous character's throat.

344: Threaten to kill party members if they don't stop being obnoxious, and go through with it.

[Xalos]

I would like to see this method.
Purely for...theoretical reasons, of course. Yes, theoretical reasons. That is all. I am certainly not planning on trying to use this. Not at all. That would be wrong.

who would do such a horrid act! *whistles and walks away slowly*

[FidgetySquirrel]

345:As DM, go out of your way to attack the rogue whenever possible, even when there's an orc fighter in the creature's face.

346: When the DM nudges you in a particular direction, go somewhere else to 'buy new gear.'

347: Save a city from certain doom, then constantly announce yourself as 'the Hero of X' to everyone you encounter.

348: Try to craft a weapon with an injector system of sorts that will let you attack an enemy and force a flasks worth of alchemist's fire INSIDE of it.

349: As DM, give the party a quest that requires them to kill a dire ape, megaraptor, T-rex, and... kraken?

350: As DM, rig the loot system so your players never have proper WBL

351: As DM, homebrew all dragons to have a constant detect magic effect.

352: As DM, apply 350 and 351 and make sure that anytime the party DOES achieve proper WBL, sick a dragon on 'em.

353: As DM, create a campaign where, by design, if one of the PCs dies and can't be resurrected, the campaign becomes literally unwinnable. Don't tell anyone about this, and make sure every battle is on the high end of the reasonable EL vs APL spectrum.

354: Play a wizard that forbids the evocation school.

355: Play a character who repeatedly tells said wizard that he 'should really learn magic missile.'

356: As DM, NEVER use NPC classes. Justify this by saying, 'Why would somebody want to take a level in warrior when they could be a fighter?'

357: As DM, let your GF play, and make sure her character is the central focus of the adventure as much as possible.

[Captnq]

I would like to see this method.
Purely for...theoretical reasons, of course. Yes, theoretical reasons. That is all. I am certainly not planning on trying to use this. Not at all. That would be wrong.

My Sig. Get the EVD.
Go To Folder Familiarity.
FAMILIAR FEATS v1.01.doc
Keyword search: DRAGON FAMILIAR [GENERAL]
Skip down to Editor Notes: UNDEAD

[Captnq]

358. Become a psionist. Learn time hop. Get Psionic Death Knell. Get aprox 800 power points for external sources. Capture an entire village of orcs alive. You need at least 200 with at least 2 HD each. Torture them all until they are at -1 hit point to -9 hit points, but stable. Run down the line killing them with psionic death knell (this will cost 600 pp). Then burn 205 power points to time hop the entire planet 5 rounds into the future. Choose to fail your saving throw. Every person on the planet will get a saving throw to resist. Anyone who resists will be left floating in space for 5 rounds. Any location within an antimagic field will also remain behind. 30 seconds later, the planet returns. Comment to the DM how even the slightest amount of force will cause all those people/places to drift out of place, so every person and Antimagic area will be forced to the surface of the planet when it returns. Assuming the vacuum of space killed off most of your enemies, begin looting the dungeons that now litter the face of your campaign world.

[Immabozo]

Then burn 205 power points to time hop the entire planet 5 rounds into the future.

If that is the worst you can break the game at level 205, you are doing things horribly wrong.

[Captnq]

If that is the worst you can break the game at level 205, you are doing things horribly wrong.

Oh, I'm sorry. I used Death Knell 200 times to increase my Manifester Level by +200 for 20 minutes (or rather, only one round. It takes 200 rounds to use death knell 200 times.)

You can do this little trick at 5th level.

[Immabozo]

Oh, I'm sorry. I used Death Knell 200 times to increase my Manifester Level by +200 for 20 minutes (or rather, only one round. It takes 200 rounds to use death knell 200 times.)

You can do this little trick at 5th level.

Unless you are a StP Erudite (in which case, by RAW, it raises caster level, not manifestor level), I know of no way to get death knell in psionics. It could be a psionic version I dont know of, but as that says, I dont know of it

edit: but other than that, I like it!

[Xalos]

359. Kill EVERY important-looking NPC you meet.

[nedz]

359. Kill EVERY important-looking NPC you meet.

No no no, Kill every NPC you should talk to but talk to the rest. Bonus points: Complain about the lack of meaningful role-playing opportunities.

[toapat]

And what would be the correct answer?

in editions not relevant to this subforum? I believe storage recursion results in an explosion.

In the versions relevant to this subforum, nothing at all. There really is no reason not to stuff every bag of holding into eachother so only one partymember is carrying a single, 5-20lb sack holding the party goods.


266. Bonus if their backstory says they are best friends or dating.

Hey, thats part of my Avatar's Backstory

360: Have Faiths and Pantheons and Unearthed Arcana's variant classes in play.

360b: Have a Paladin of Freedom and a Paladin of Tyranny from the Knights of the Mystic Fire in the party.

Watch the subtle explosion of 2 paladins trying to murder eachother without violating their own codes

[Captnq]

Unless you are a StP Erudite (in which case, by RAW, it raises caster level, not manifestor level), I know of no way to get death knell in psionics. It could be a psionic version I dont know of, but as that says, I dont know of it

edit: but other than that, I like it!

DEATH KNELL, PSIONIC
- COMPLETE PSIONICS (3.5)
Psychometabolism [Death, Evil]
Level: Evil 2
Display: Auditory
Manifesting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Touch
Target: One living creature touched
Duration: Instantaneous/10 minutes per HD of subject; see text for death knell
Saving Throw: Will negates
Power Resistance: Yes
Power Points: 3
Description: A tolling bell sounds a funeral tone.
As death knell, except as noted here.
Editor (Death Knell): You draw forth the ebbing life force of a creature and use it to fuel your own power. Upon casting this power, you touch a living creature that has –1 or fewer hit points. If the subject fails its saving throw, it dies, and you gain 1d8 temporary hit points and a +2 bonus to Strength. Additionally, your effective manifester level goes up by +1, improving spell effects dependent on caster level. (This increase in effective caster level does not grant you access to more spells). These effects last for 10 minutes per HD of the subject creature.
Editor: Well, if you are willing to murder a whole bunch of people, this can make you a god. Unlike the spell version where level caps tend to limit the maximum effectiveness of, say, a caster level of 200. This power, if you have a ML of 200, would allow you to, increase the amount of matter you can affect with time hop until you could make an entire planet disappear for 5 rounds. Did I need to point out its evil?

Dude, when I write a handbook, I write a handbook. Check out the psionomicon sometime. It has EV-REE-THING. And if I'm missing something, let me know. I'll add it.

[Captnq]

361. Get every single boost you can to your initiative so you can always go first. Be really ineffective and indecisive. Ask to check one more book before taking your action. Complain that everyone is rushing you. THEY have all the time to plan their actions, but you have to do this under pressure.
362. Become a cleric of evil. Memorize the evil overlord list (http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html). Quote it constantly In Character claiming it is a (un)holy text of your god.
363. Turn into a snake, I'm sure it will help. (#34)

[Sir Chuckles]

354: Play a wizard that forbids the evocation school.

Why is this a way to screw with the DM/party?

[MilesBeyond]

#364: Roll up a replica of a famous character from D&D (e.g. Drizzt, Elminster, Melf). Insist that your character actually is that person. Bonus points if you try to convince the DM that you should be allowed to start with that character's actual levels, spells, feats, and equipment.

#365. Roll up a replica of anyone famous, real or fictional. Mimic that person's personality, accent, habits, etc, as perfectly as possible. Change one or two letters in the name. When other players point out the similarities, deny having any knowledge of whoever it is you've copied, or whatever material they happen to be drawn from. If the discussion continues, angrily assert that they're all lying because they are jealous of your creative abilities.

#366. Roll up a Commoner - make sure the stats are as bad as possible. Give the character the exact same name as a player at the table. Whenever you do something stupid or suicidal, announce you are doing so in a deadpan voice while maintaining direct eye contact with the person you named the character after.

#367. Roll up a Chaotic Good Drow.

[Immabozo]

DEATH KNELL, PSIONIC

- snip -

Dude, when I write a handbook, I write a handbook. Check out the psionomicon sometime. It has EV-REE-THING. And if I'm missing something, let me know. I'll add it.

I have never seen that one. Interesting. I certainly will go read your handbook!

[FidgetySquirrel]

Why is this a way to screw with the DM/party?Sorry, my group is really inexperienced. They thought if I can't blast everything, I'm useless. Needless to say, I blew their minds in our first encounter with color spray.

[Immabozo]

Sorry, my group is really inexperienced. They thought if I can't blast everything, I'm useless. Needless to say, I blew their minds in our first encounter with color spray.

That group sounds like fun

[FidgetySquirrel]

That group sounds like fun
It is, actually. I like being able to experiment with low-op builds and not get funny looks for it. Not to mention, it makes things a little more interesting when I DM. I never know what wacky PCs I'm going to see next!

[MilesBeyond]

It is, actually. I like being able to experiment with low-op builds and not get funny looks for it. Not to mention, it makes things a little more interesting when I DM. I never know what wacky PCs I'm going to see next!

Makes me think of when I first played 3.x, I was so used to the AD&D system that I thought that when I multiclassed, all my classes needed to advance evenly and could never be more than one level apart. Combine that with the rush over discovering that race/class restrictions were now gone and that you could use multiclass to make any conceivable combination and I ended up making some weird builds.

Although my favourite character from that time, a Half-Orc Barbarian/Druid, may actually not have been all that terrible.

In any case, this gives me an idea for a campaign: Everyone has to roll a counter-intuitive and highly suboptimal race/class combination. What binds the party together is the collective chip on their shoulder from wanting to prove to society that they're not useless.

Soon the world will be in awe at the might of Hollendale, the Half-elf Monk4/Ranger3/Sorcerer1/Wizard1/Rogue1 and his band of Merry Misfits!

[Immabozo]

It is, actually. I like being able to experiment with low-op builds and not get funny looks for it. Not to mention, it makes things a little more interesting when I DM. I never know what wacky PCs I'm going to see next!

I'm totally serious, I would love that group.

My group thinks they can optimize, but when, what I thought was the bust optimizer, told me the straight monk was the only build that could kill a wizard, I lost faith.

[MilesBeyond]

I'm totally serious, I would love that group.

My group thinks they can optimize, but when, what I thought was the bust optimizer, told me the straight monk was the only build that could kill a wizard, I lost faith.

I'm actually amazed at the amount of experienced players I run into who complain that the Monk is overpowered, especially at high levels. Apparently being able to cast a super crappy version of Finger of Death once per week is unbalancing? :/

I'll try to point it out and they'll be like "Oh, maybe in Pathfinder. I hear they super nerfed the Monk. In 3.5 the Monk is incredible."

[Raven777]

#368. Disjunct the McGuffin needed to destroy the BBEG at the very last minute, preferably during the actual boss fight. Turn on your party. Once the dust falls down, declare that as the last living PC, you win D&D.

[Sir Chuckles]

I'm actually amazed at the amount of experienced players I run into who complain that the Monk is overpowered, especially at high levels. Apparently being able to cast a super crappy version of Finger of Death once per week is unbalancing? :/

I'll try to point it out and they'll be like "Oh, maybe in Pathfinder. I hear they super nerfed the Monk. In 3.5 the Monk is incredible."

Tell them to ask about it here next Monday.
My group isn't heavy on the optimization, mostly because I alter encounters to suit their cheese levels. And they're lactose intolerant.
Though I'm starting to get a little bit more annoyed with some of them, but that's a rant meant for a rant thread, not this thread.

369. Directly state "I still haven't learned the rules, and I have no plans on doing so."

[John Longarrow]

370. Run a character that hits on every female they meet... EVERY FEMALE...
Player to Dragon "Hey tall, dark and scaly, wanna ditch this crowd for someplace a little more... Dark.. and Dreary?"

I heard about this from another DM. They had to postpone the encounter until the next session because NO ONE could get back into the right state of mind EXCEPT the player.

[ArqArturo]

370. Run a character that hits on every female they meet... EVERY FEMALE...
Player to Dragon "Hey tall, dark and scaly, wanna ditch this crowd for someplace a little more... Dark.. and Dreary?"

I heard about this from another DM. They had to postpone the encounter until the next session because NO ONE could get back into the right state of mind EXCEPT the player.

A player does this, every freakin' game. It's annoying, and creepy.

[Ferronach]

371: play a warforged that does not understand non-constructs (think of someone who does not know what a dog is, meeting a dog)
372: refer to all non-constructs as "squishies" or "fleshies" etc.
373: dissect a fallen npc/follower to determine what kind of "magic" animated the "fleshies"
374: perform the dissection in front of the party
375: use your large dwarven waraxe to perform the dissection and only have an into of ~10
We play with sanity points in the campaign where I am the warforged so the party had to make repeated sanity checks....

376: as a warforged (do not sleep/trance etc.) stay up all night doing things without thinking about how loud you are being and that the "fleshies" need sleep
377: rp your character as confused when the rest of the party is grouchy and fatigued
378: OOC mouth off to the party for not "giving it their all" during the next combat encounter when they are fatigued...
I love playing a Warforged 'cause it lets me be a jerk, get away with it and get RPing XP all the while XD

[Immabozo]

379: Giving your players RP exp for this


I love playing a Warforged 'cause it lets me be a jerk, get away with it and get RPing XP all the while XD

[FidgetySquirrel]

I'm actually amazed at the amount of experienced players I run into who complain that the Monk is overpowered, especially at high levels. Apparently being able to cast a super crappy version of Finger of Death once per week is unbalancing? :/

I'll try to point it out and they'll be like "Oh, maybe in Pathfinder. I hear they super nerfed the Monk. In 3.5 the Monk is incredible."That makes me think of another.

380: When someone in your group says "I'm gonna play a fighter!" respond with "No, you're gonna be a monk."

When I heard about that happening to a friend of mine, I died a little inside.

[Yael]

381. Play a Wizard, always prepare the same spell for each level (like the same spell at 1st, and a different one at 2nd, but always the same.)
*Bonus points if that spell is not useful inside battle.
**Double that bonus if that bonus somehow helps the enemy.
***Triple that bonus if you employ useless metamagics in that spell (like Invisible Color Spray.)

382. Play a Barbarian, never rage because you're peaceful, even though you don't follow anyone's rules.

[Raven777]

#383. Insist that D&D being a RPG, and all RPGs being made by Bioware, you should be able to earn Dark Side Points.

[ArqArturo]

384. Play a human cleric of a really racist human-only god, and every time any non-human in your party asks a heal, make a bluff check and cast inflict. If they complain, just say "I believe your god is blocking my deity's blessings. It is understandable, such as you are X".

385. Make the character insufferable, yet survivable, as you are gonna get a lot of flack. Since you're a CoDzilla, you'll be fine

386. Treat all small characters like children, even if they attack you.

[RSSwizard]

A Lich which casts Empowered Death Throes on itself, then uses spells like (Empowered) Greater Fireburst, maybe with energy substitution so they can make it stick.

That way it gets up close and personal, and when you do kill it, it blows your whole party to hell.

Then it comes back a few days later and does it to some other poor adventuring party out there in the world.

It doesnt even use its cool equipment, it just picks up the things off the people it kills in villages and crap. So it leaves no treasure behind when you do kill it.

Hey its gotta get XP from somewhere.

====

EDIT - - - This is actually a DM douche move. I was gonna do it but I havent run a game since where I would be able to. They would still encounter the same Lich at lower levels but it would "go soft" on them. By its death it gets a free teleport anyway. It was going to be a more supernatural version of Jason Vorhees, it was even going to wear a mask and use a Falchion (machete). What's his motivation? He just likes killing, all day and all night. L'Rhac the Defiler.

[JackRackham]

42.a. Spike the punch with philters of love.
42.b. Alternatively, replace healing potions with philters of love.


42.c. Craft a splash weapon based on the Phllter of Love with a large area of effect, pass it off as a splash weapon with a much smaller area of effect, and sell it to would-be adventurers.

[Sir Chuckles]

384. Play a human cleric of a really racist human-only god, and every time any non-human in your party asks a heal, make a bluff check and cast inflict. If they complain, just say "I believe your god is blocking my deity's blessings. It is understandable, such as you are X".

Zarus. You're thinking of Zarus.
It's certainly an interesting character concept, but I'm leaning toward it being an NPC concept...
Hence why it's perfect for the list!

[Doorhandle]

385: Have a dragon disguise itself as an entirely different kind of dragon. Laugh as it's breath weapon penetrates the party's carefully prepared wards.
386: Apply the young temple 8 times to a tarrasque. Menace the players with the dog-sized god-beast.
387: Apply the young template 8 times to a lv 20 gunslinger/dervish dancer. Laugh as it one-hits the players with is massively oversized dex-bonus.
388: Make a level 1 barbarian with the advanced template applied 19 times. Laugh as he 1-hits them with his ludicrous strength modifier.
389: Abuse the giant/young templates 100s of times so you have 1 creature with stupidly-high A.C, but that retains it's normal C.R.
390: Play a warforged that questions whether organic being have souls.
391: Arrets the players for the murders they committed while dungeoneering.

[ArqArturo]

392. Have your NPC cleric, a half-orc cleric/barbarian of a war deity (and must have Rage, Power Attack, and Divine Might) of X town have a heavy flail that heals living creatures when it strikes, instead of any actual damage (hitting undead makes normal damage). Therefore when the players ask for healing, let the cleric go nuts and start pounding them.

It won't screw with them in the long run, but watch your players' expresion when you say "As the half orc agrees to help, he whips out the meanest, biggest heavy flail you've ever seen (http://padawanjenn.tripod.com/LotR/rotk/witchking2_lrg.jpg), enters into a frenzy, and starts attacking you".

[Thomas Hunter]

NOTHING screams munchkin like having your own invisible, flying, undead whale stronghold.

May I sig this?

[toapat]

Zarus. You're thinking of Zarus.
It's certainly an interesting character concept, but I'm leaning toward it being an NPC concept...
Hence why it's perfect for the list!

393: Play a Nonhuman Cleric of Zarus.

[Raven777]

#394 Play a Chaotic Good Cleric of Groetus (http://www.pathfinderwiki.com/wiki/Groetus). Laugh quietly as people go "wait wat?!".

[Yael]

#383. Insist that D&D being a RPG, and all RPGs being made by Bioware, you should be able to earn Dark Side Points.

Here, have your cookie.

[ArqArturo]

395. With the Leadership feat, have an Expert cohort with maxed ranks in skill (clothing), knowledge (History) and skill focus on craft and knowledge. Whenever there's a chance the players find/acquire/craft a cloak -magical or otherwise- have the cohort chastise them, and recite how previous adventurers have died due to cloak-related accidents. If they insist, he must yell "No cloaks!".

[nedz]

392. Have your NPC cleric, a half-orc cleric/barbarian of a war deity (and must have Rage, Power Attack, and Divine Might) of X town have a heavy flail that heals living creatures when it strikes, instead of any actual damage (hitting undead makes normal damage). Therefore when the players ask for healing, let the cleric go nuts and start pounding them.

It won't screw with them in the long run, but watch your players' expresion when you say "As the half orc agrees to help, he whips out the meanest, biggest heavy flail you've ever seen (http://padawanjenn.tripod.com/LotR/rotk/witchking2_lrg.jpg), enters into a frenzy, and starts attacking you".
Eldritch Disciple with Eldritch Glaive or Claws — Full attack with Healing Blast

385: Have a dragon disguise itself as an entirely different kind of dragon. Laugh as it's breath weapon penetrates the party's carefully prepared wards.
386: Apply the young temple 8 times to a tarrasque. Menace the players with the dog-sized god-beast.

I've sort of done both of these
385 is easily done with Illusions or
~385: Apply Chromatic Half Dragon templates to all of your Metallic Dragons, and vice versa: So what is a Metallic Green Dragon ? Green+Silver or Blue+Gold ?
~386: Take a Tarrasque from another Prime material plane which differers from the current Prime in terms of scale: Describe how the party encounter a beetle they can't kill.

[ArqArturo]

Eldritch Disciple with Eldritch Glaive or Claws — Full attack with Healing Blast

Had an Illumian cleric of Thor ED with the glaive... I laughed maniacally as I healed with 'Thor's Lightning'.

[Sir Chuckles]

Eldritch Disciple with Eldritch Glaive or Claws — Full attack with Healing Blast

I've sort of done both of these
385 is easily done with Illusions or
~385: Apply Chromatic Half Dragon templates to all of your Metallic Dragons, and vice versa: So what is a Metallic Green Dragon ? Green+Silver or Blue+Gold ?
~386: Take a Tarrasque from another Prime material plane which differers from the current Prime in terms of scale: Describe how the party encounter a beetle they can't kill.

385 doesn't need illusions.
Just a lot of paint.

[FidgetySquirrel]

396: Make a dragonborn sorcerer who only ever casts shout.

397: Take the bastard sword proficiency feat.

398: Ask the local militia how to apply with the assassin's guild.

399: Sell your soul to a balor for a tasty sammich!

400: As a paladin, volunteer for guard duty in any large settlement. Use detect evil constantly. If anyone pings evil, bring them in for questioning.

401: Actually try the 'powder keg of justice' thing.

402: Tell the other players you'll be the party mage, then roll a wizard/sorcerer/bard.

[ArqArturo]

403. Give the party the monkey's paw.

[Doorhandle]

402: Tell the other players you'll be the party mage, then roll a wizard/sorcerer/bard.

404: Apply all your feats, spells, and skill ranks to things that allow to to host awesome parties, like "Ruharb's confetti spray."

[TheMonocleRogue]

405. Create a stone golem that looks like Andrew Jackson and use it to drive out elven natives.

[Immabozo]

385: Have a dragon disguise itself as an entirely different kind of dragon. Laugh as it's breath weapon penetrates the party's carefully prepared wards.

Had a DM do this and we did lightning damage, like 200 lightning damage and the DM wrote it all down to make it convincing! In the end, the "tank" killed it almost solo, since the other big damage dealer did a whole lot of nothing. Like 200 points of nothing.