Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

[Anonymouswizard]

************ Despite real-world precedent, I cannot take out a machine gun nest with nothing but a really big sword.

No, really. This has happened.


Good ol' Mad Jack Churchill (no relation to Winston). Also? Actual, RL bard. Known for inspiring his troops by marching around playing the bagpipes right out in the open, even when mortars were falling all around, and for making the last wartime medieval-longbow kill in history.


He also escaped from two different concentration camps and complained about the war ending.

Yep, I love the stories about the guy.

It was a one handed basket hilt claymore actually.

[JAL_1138]

*Despite real-world precedent, cannot make a called shot to the eye from 500+ yards.

[Anonymouswizard]

*Despite real-world precedent, cannot make a called shot to the eye from 500+ yards.

* Despite real-world precedent, I cannot play games all day instead of doing something useful.

[JAL_1138]

* Despite real-world precedent, I cannot play games all day instead of doing something useful.

**I may not point out the irony of the situation to the party or the DM.

[JAL_1138]

*CMOT Dibbler does not have doubles (e.g., Disembowel-Meself-Honorably Dibhala, Fair Go Dibbler, Dib Diblonsson, Cut-Me-Own-Hand-Off Dhblah, May-I-Never-Achieve-Enlightenment Dhiblang, etc.) in Greyhawk. Or in Planescape. Or in Faerun. Or in Spelljammer. Or on Krynn.
**Surely to God not as every merchant or vendor in the setting, at least.
***If the next shop has another Dibbler in it, the players will throw dice at me.
****CMOT Dibbler does not have the highest possible Bluff and/or Persuasion score in the system.
*****Even if he's ever convinced someone to eat one of his pies or sausages-inna-bun more than once.

[Anonymouswizard]

* I may not pose as a priest.
** Especially not in both the Catholic and Anglican churches.
*** May not get promotions in both churches.
**** May not get promoted to bishop in both churches.
***** May not do this without the correct paperwork.
****** May not get possessed by a fallen angel.

This was revealed as the back story of the campaign villain

[Rater202]

I am not space ghost.

[JAL_1138]

*If the DM threatens to throw a d20 at me, I may not respond by holding up a cue-ball sized, 1/4-pound d20.

*Despite real-world precedent, Finns do not have racial bonuses to rifle accuracy and stealth against Russians.
**Despite real-world precedent, Russians do not have racial bonuses to rifle accuracy and stealth against Germans.

[Anonymouswizard]

*Despite real-world precedent, Finns do not have racial bonuses to rifle accuracy and stealth against Russians.
**Despite real-world precedent, Russians do not have racial bonuses to rifle accuracy and stealth against Germans.

*** Despite real-world precedent, the English do not have racial bonuses to etiquette and snobbery. Self-depreciation is right out.
**** Despite real-world precedent, the Irish do not have a racial immunity to alcohol.

[JAL_1138]

**** Despite real-world precedent, the Irish do not have a racial immunity to alcohol.

*****Ditto to that for Russians.

*Despite real-world precedent, former US President Andrew Jackson is not "functionally unkillable by bullets."

(No, really. His preferred dueling method was to let the other guy shoot him so Jackson could take his time to aim.)

[blacklight101]

I am not space ghost.

**and neither am I coast to coast.
***can't be zorak
****brak is right out
*****the sealab 2021 crew is banned
******no more characters based on parodies of old cartoons

[Shnezz]

*I may not form a character whose sole inspiration can be summed up by saying the name of an anime character.
**Especially if they are more known for doing terrible things to their allies more so than to their enemies.
***For the last time, I'm not letting you make Dr. Stein from soul eater.

*When allowed to make a Changeling character with an at-will to shapeshift, this does not mean that I must use it every five seconds.
**Even if I point out that no sane bandit is going to attack a group with a being in it periodically shifting through the entire spectrum of angel to demon.
***Also no longer allowed to steal something I want while imitating a party member to pin the blame on them.
****I thought it would be funny is not suitable apology for shapechanging into the captain of the guard and trying to have a teammate arrested.
*****It is completely justified if I end up in jail myself because of this.

[JAL_1138]

**and neither am I coast to coast.
***can't be zorak
****brak is right out
*****the sealab 2021 crew is banned
******no more characters based on parodies of old cartoons

*******Basing a Giff off Peter Potamus from "Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law" is right out.

[Milodiah]

*** Despite real-world precedent, the English do not have racial bonuses to etiquette and snobbery. Self-depreciation is right out.
**** Despite real-world precedent, the Irish do not have a racial immunity to alcohol.
*****Despite real-world precedent, the Scottish do not have a +20 to Headbutt.
******Even though it is isn't called the Glasgow Kiss for nothing, the answer is still no.
*******Not allowed to obtain an enchanted Tam o' Shanter of Headbutting.
********No Glaswegian characters from now on.

[Anonymouswizard]

* Tea does not cure all diseases.
** It doesn't work as a potion of cure light wounds.

* I cannot invent the spell 'protection from housecats'.
** I cannot sell said spell to commoners.

[JAL_1138]

* Tea does not cure all diseases.
** It doesn't work as a potion of cure light wounds.

* I cannot invent the spell 'protection from housecats'.
** I cannot sell said spell to commoners.

***Or sell it to first-level wizards in 1e/2e AD&D.

[razorfloss]

i can no longer use the spell prestidigitation

[Rater202]

**and neither am I coast to coast.
***can't be zorak
****brak is right out
*****the sealab 2021 crew is banned
******no more characters based on parodies of old cartoons

*******May not point out that I meant the "real" Spaceghost

[JAL_1138]

*I may not base the campaign intro directly on the lyrics to a Lynyrd Skynyrd song.

[razorfloss]

*I may not base the campaign intro directly on the lyrics to a Lynyrd Skynyrd song.
which song?

[Socratov]

************ Despite real-world precedent, I cannot take out a machine gun nest with nothing but a really big sword.

No, really. This has happened.


Good ol' Mad Jack Churchill (no relation to Winston). Also? Actual, RL bard. Known for inspiring his troops by marching around playing the bagpipes right out in the open, even when mortars were falling all around, and for making the last wartime medieval-longbow kill in history.


He also escaped from two different concentration camps and complained about the war ending.


Yep, I love the stories about the guy.

It was a one handed basket hilt claymore actually.

*************If my character even remotely smells of 'Mad Jack' Churchill/'Fighting Jack' Churchill by virtue of being a bard, carrying bagpipes a broadsword ena longbow, I get what's coming to me (mostly d4's and books to the head)

[JAL_1138]

which song?

Over in the "You Begin In A Tavern..." thread, one of my entries was pretty much the D&D version of "Gimme Three Steps."

[TheTeaMustFlow]

*If the game is set in 1450 and one of the character's motivations is to retake Constantinople, I am to inform his player it hasn't actually fallen yet.
** I am not allowed to form alternative inquisitions of the catholic church because everyone expects the spanish one by now.
*** The same rule applies to the Orthodox, Anglican, Nestorian, and Coptic churches, and any others I might think of.
**** On a similar note, if the test question for the party's magical lie detector is `is the pope catholic`, I am not to truthfully answer no while thinking really hard about the Coptic Pope.

[Anonymouswizard]

* My character concept cannot be Arnold Schwarzenegger, my as a werewolf on steroids.
** Or Stephen Hawkins as a Technocrat.
*** 'Yo Momma' as anything is just horrible.

[JAL_1138]

*May not demonstrate RL Dragon's Breath shotgun rounds for the Shadowrun group.
**Especially if it hasn't rained in a good while.
***Good thing we brought a fire extinguisher.
****Seriously, let's not do that again.

*May not refuse to play a system that prohibits nonmilitary characters from using the very same caliber I killed a whitetail with the previous month using a civilian hunting rifle purchasable at Walmart, Bass Pro Shops, Cabela's, Gander Mountain, and numerous other sporting-goods retailers, and which has never been issued in any combat firearm by any military organization in the history of cartridge rifles.

*Not allowed to argue that the electric guitar can be used as a one-handed implement by playing the intro to Thunderstruck with one hand while shooting Nerf darts at a chair with the other.

*Not allowed to argue that a weed-whacker can be an effective anti-zombie weapon in the right hands by bringing in a brush-knife or sawblade attachment.

*Not allowed to argue that I should be able to make an enemy target itself on a power that specifies "when an enemy targets you with a melee attack, the enemy targets a creature adjacent to you instead" by pulling up a news story (from a reputable news agency) of a man who cut his own foot off when he missed with a splitting-maul while cutting firewood.

*May not see if Deep Woods Off(TM) repels Thri-Keen.

[goto124]

* May not LARP ever again.

[Anonymouswizard]

* May not LARP ever again.

** Definitely not at the table.
*** Or on the table.

* I may not play the dinner table (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?397100-Post-the-worst-player-characters-you-can-come-up-with&p=19119040#post19119040).
** Even in GURPS.
*** Can I at least play a sentient dinner table?
**** Must have an intelligence above 0 at all times.
***** I may no longer play furniture.
****** I may not play the party starship.
******* Especially if another player chose the spaceship's AI.

[JAL_1138]

**May not see if Deep Woods Off(TM) repels Stirges, Magebanes, Varghouiles, or other similar creatures if it doesn't work on Thri-Keen.

*May not pack an animated suit of armor with 100lbs of Tannerite and 100lbs of ball bearings and nails, then cast Delayed Blast Fireball and retreat to a safe distance.
**May not invent Tannerite in D&D.
***May not invent smokeless powder in D&D
****May not invent black powder in D&D
*****If black powder has an entry in the book, may not use it for this purpose.
******May not repeat this tactic with alchemist's fire instead of Tannerite, smokeless powder, or black powder.
*******Must stop trying to make animated bombs in D&D.
********May not name the animated bomb "Bob."

[Lord Raziere]

* I may not say my name is "Suqmadique Unt Gododel"
** Not even when I'm in disguise.
*** Or "Robin Yr Donjon"
**** Or "Idowanna Behayre"
***** and especially not "Muda McSlata"

[JAL_1138]

*The DM is eventually going to catch on if my charlatan bard's fake identities all have the names of former University of Kentucky basketball players.

[DigoDragon]

* When splitting the party, I'm no longer allowed to leave the two most violent members alone with the villain.
** No longer allowed to let the villain suggest splitting the party.

[JAL_1138]

*May not collect bags of broken glass, or metal scrap from a grinding wheel, lathe, or drill press, to throw into opponents' eyes instead of sand
**Must not refer to wheat flour as "The Poor Man's Glitterdust"
***May not use pieces of rock salt as sling bullets on trespassers
****May not use Delayed Blast Fireball, a giant bronze door, and the Fabricate spell to invent the cannon

[Anonymouswizard]

* I should remember which jeans are my dedicated jeans, and not just throw on any old pair.
** I have 4 intelligence and the specialty analytical, I understand trainers.
*** Despite how much sense it may make, Glabro is not a substitute for a jumper.
**** If my character is uncomfortable with clothes, they should not have a nudity taboo.
***** 'Traditional Glass Walker shaman markings' are not circuit board patterns tattooed all over my body.
****** Despite what the rules say, my character does not have 5 appearance just from putting on a posh frock. Especially if I'm still barefooted.
******* Why does the shut-in know the most about that anyway?
******** My shut-in should not be the only party member with contacts.
********* Especially with such poor charisma and manipulation.
********** My appearance specialty cannot be 'lab coat'. I dedicated that.
*********** It certainly cannot be 'crinos form'.
************ May not buy alcohol, I'm still 15.
************* My deed name is not 'puts-in-jail'.
************** May not point out that I am old enough to apply for a firearms licence.
*************** Why does a city girl need a pistol, rifle, and shotgun?

[unseenmage]

* No longer allowed to animate the moon, minionmancy it, then have it burrow beneath the earth to lie in wait for my enemies.
** Especially not with just five spells and a whole crapton of caster levels.
*** Especially when the point of our game was never to 'DESTROY THE MOON!' (http://fairytail.wikia.com/wiki/File:Destroy_the_Moon.jpg)

[JAL_1138]

*May not start a discount trepanning practice.
**Must explain to the DM what trepanning is.
***Must explain to the other PC what trepanning is before performing it on their character.
****May not perform any more trepannations no matter how good my medicine NWP roll is.

*Must tell new AD&D players that lower THAC0 and AC are better.
**Must tell new AD&D players that this only applies to AC and THAC0, and higher stats are better.
***Must tell new AD&D players that they have to split XP between classes when multiclassing as a demihuman.
****Must tell new AD&D players that dual-classing, while it looks like 3.PF multiclassing on the surface, means they cannot use their original class features until they pass it in level with the new class.
*****Must tell new AD&D players that initiative is rolled every round.
******Must tell new AD&D players about the initiative modifiers to spellcasting.
*******Must tell new AD&D players that taking any hit, regardless of damage, interrupts spellcasting.
********Must tell new AD&D players that there are no cantrips but the first-level spell "cantrip."
*********Must tell new AD&D players that they have to roll HP at first level.
**********Must tell new AD&D players that death occurs at 0HP.
***********Must not ask them what the blue #%$& they were doing with the PHB I loaned them a month before the game started since they didn't #%$&ing read it.

[Rater202]

*If a fellow PC starts torturing a prisoner, I should probably stop her.
**Especial if it's technically not our prisoner.
***I don't care if it's the horrifically abusive older brother of an other PC, torture is still bad, M'kay.
****Not even if he took an other PCs leg.
*****The fact that it was my PCs leg means if anything I should have been the torturer.

[DigoDragon]

* At no point should our Fallout Equestria RP be less violent than our Slice-of-Life Junior High RP

[JAL_1138]

*May not attempt to intimidate the prisoner into talking by explaining that I know how to cast Polymorph, explaining that it wears off in an hour, and explaining that I have a very small and very sturdy cage made of heavy iron bars in which to place someone who's been polymorphed into a turtle, and if I'm not back alive, unharmed, and completely satisfied with the information provided by said prisoner before that hour is up, anyone in a 15' radius of that little cage is going to need an umbrella when the turtle reverts to human form inside it.
**Even if I'm just bluffing.
***Especially if I'm not bluffing.

[blacklight101]

*yes, you can roll to torture the prisoner for information if you want.
**I guess you can give some specifics if you want
***wait, you're doing what?
****not allowed to explain the Blood Eagle, its a little disturbing to some people
*****ok, no more profession (torturer), you're learning too much from history
******if I have some profession other than Dirt Farmer, it shall be immediately retconned.
*******no more craft or profession skills, you keep torturing people with them this campaign.
********no more items from any of the books, other than the clothes on your back.

My only evil character and then only mildly so. Guess im back to the 'good' guys for now. And to think, it was a soon-to-be-evil campaign. And my actions were within the bounds of LE.

[Lord Raziere]

* The Pokedex did not respond to you.
** The Pokedex only has pre-programmed responses and cannot converse with you
*** The Pokedex does not have an opinion. It is not sapient.
**** The Pokedex is not a thinking being and in fact can only play pre-recorded messages, desist in trying to disprove this.
***** The Pokedex has all these messages because Professor Oak was very diligent in recording them. He wanted to be prepared for every single possible question a Trainer could ask, including the annoying stupid ones.
****** The Pokedex has no emotions. Insisting upon "angering" it by show how mobile your limbs make you will not provoke it to break any facade that I have, so stop it!
******* There was no slip of the tongue. The Pokedex did not refer to itself in the first person. The Pokedex is not sapient. Please stop trying to disprove this.
******** Ok, I'll admit, threatening to smash me against the rock got me to break character, happy!? I'm not exactly in a position to do anything but accede to your demands.
********* Using the now sapient Pokedex to have meaningless conversations on the road is frivolous and a waste of your time.

[JAL_1138]

*Cannot keep dying so often in 5th.
**Even if, as a jaded 2e player, I love that about this edition.

*Must not forget my spell cards since the 2e versions of spells are burned into my brain and refuse to budge to allow the 5e versions in for any length of time.

*Must take persuasion proficiency if I'm going to keep using logical, emotional, and moral reasoning on NPCs instead of lying through my teeth.

*Cannot point out that going into the water always, without exception, ALWAYS has a bad outcome in D&D.

[GuesssWho]

*Cannot point out that going into the water always, without exception, ALWAYS has a bad outcome in D&D.

This is why you either stay on land or play a mermaid. No stupid water breathing worries!

[JAL_1138]

This is why you either stay on land or play a mermaid. No stupid water breathing worries!

It's not just water-breathing, it's also the monsters and the angry water-deities and the eldritch abominations.

[Anonymouswizard]

* I must stop killing every female NPC we come across.
** Even if I'm right that they're all assassins, succubi, or succubus assassins.
*** Even if it's the only way that the barbarian will avoid death by sex.

[Inevitability]

My party is currently on an underwater quest. So far, they have almost gotten themselves eaten by vampiric sealife, attacked the very strong BBEG during negotiations, and angered a city of sahuagin, a legion of warforged, and a crew of undead pirates (don't ask). Oh, and they almost blew up a complete ship while they were still on it.

[goto124]

*** Even if it's the only way that the barbarian will avoid death by sex.

**** May not ask if the barbarian is female.

[JAL_1138]

My party is currently on an underwater quest. So far, they have almost gotten themselves eaten by vampiric sealife, attacked the very strong BBEG during negotiations, and angered a city of sahuagin, a legion of warforged, and a crew of undead pirates (don't ask). Oh, and they almost blew up a complete ship while they were still on it.

I rest my case.

*Must not forget that even though going on or in the water is always bad, if we don't do it anyway, there's no adventure today.

[Anonymouswizard]

**** May not ask if the barbarian is female.

No, not playing D&D at the moment.

On the other hand, in my current werewolf game, the character most likely to sleep with a succubus is my female Metis engineer. But she's a) the only character with a defined sexuality (pansexual), and b) one of her contacts is her ex from college (still on the fence about the gender). High enough intelligence to know that a barrier is probably a good idea though.

[DigoDragon]

* I'm no longer allowed to Take 20 on checks made to clean the toilet.

[Anonymouswizard]

* I'm no longer allowed to Take 20 on checks made to clean the toilet.

** Cannot take 20 on checks to dirty the toilet either.

[DigoDragon]

** Cannot take 20 on checks to dirty the toilet either.

Around here it's more like an automatic success. :smalltongue:

[JAL_1138]

*May not use the d50 for my mini.
**May not use the d30.
***May not use the d24, it looks too much like a d20.
****May not use the d16, it looks too much like a d10.
*****May not use the d14, it looks too much like a d10.
******The d5, d3, and d7 are acceptable.
*******The d100 is right out.
********Not allowed to bring the d100 anymore.

*Must tell the newbie that there is a difference between Charlatan and Charlemagne, and I am most certainly not playing the Holy Roman Emperor. Even though the party's paladin is named Roland.

[Spore]

* I shall never again sell my character's afterlife for support in the upcoming campaign.
** If by some miracle an important NPC sold his afterlife in order to preserve paradise for me, I shan't sell my afterlife, AGAIN, for further support.
*** My character can be "fanatically" good to the point of self annihilation.
**** You can't substitute another x thousand years of your afterlife for spell components to Planar bind bigger celestials.
***** Don't look at the party like that. You can't sacrifice THEIR afterlife for your spells either.
****** You know what. 'Sacrificing' and 'lives' shouldn't even BE in the same sentence for good characters.
******* Even if your patron deity is the deity of murder, heroism and death.

[DigoDragon]

******The d5, d3, and d7 are acceptable.

I have a published adventure module that uses d5s and d7s. I've never seen that in any other published module ever.
So naturally this odd one out is about aliens. XD

[Milodiah]

The Fantasy Flight Games system used for the current set of WH40k RPGs (Dark Heresy, Rogue Trader, Deathwatch, Only War) uses the d5 quite a bit. It's a d100 and d10 system, so it's the equivalent of being told to roll a d3 in a d6 game.


...and now that I think about it, most of those games usually end up being about aliens.

[JAL_1138]

I have a published adventure module that uses d5s and d7s. I've never seen that in any other published module ever.
So naturally this odd one out is about aliens. XD

...I know the Dungeon Crawl Classics system uses them, but I'm trying to think of D&D modules involving aliens. Expedition to the Barrier Peaks and some really old Blackmoor stuff did, but (and I may be wrong) I don't recall them having d7s. I haven't looked at them in more than 10 years though, and I only saw them as converted by the DM to 2e from even older editions (1e/Basic), so I can't be sure they don't use them.

[DigoDragon]

...I know the Dungeon Crawl Classics system uses them, but I'm trying to think of D&D modules involving aliens.

I believe this module is a DCC one. I own a decent stack of them, but this particular one is the only module of the bunch that uses the odd dice. But I had a die roller so... not all bad.


* Emperor Palpatine is no longer to be used as a unit of measurement for villainy.
** Especially when he ranks only 0.75 of a Palpatine.

[JAL_1138]

I believe this module is a DCC one. I own a decent stack of them, but this particular one is the only module of the bunch that uses the odd dice. But I had a die roller so... not all bad.


* Emperor Palpatine is no longer to be used as a unit of measurement for villainy.
** Especially when he ranks only 0.75 of a Palpatine.

I've always wanted to play DCC just to have a use for my oddball dice...

***May not measure the villain at "75 centiPalpatines" to make him sound more evil to people unfamiliar with the metric system.

[Anonymouswizard]

But how many palpatines to the kilonazi?

[JAL_1138]

But how many palpatines to the kilonazi?

You can never convert Palpatines to KiloNazis, because the "they did it in real life" multiplier for evil goes to infinity. Fictional villainy can't be properly compared to real genocide and the unspeakable horrors committed.

The fragments of a billion shattered worlds in fiction are nothing next to one empty pair of Jewish children's shoes.

[Wookieetank]

The fragments of a billion shattered worlds in fiction are nothing next to one empty pair of Jewish children's shoes.

Truth.


Back on topic:
**May not convert Palpatines into Lannisters when going from a sci-fi to a fantasy setting.

[Anonymouswizard]

* I may no longer eat the BBEG.
** May not divide him neatly among the party before chowing down.
*** Is an awakened door even possible?
**** So you're swapping places with her what?
***** I can no longer know polymorph any object.

[Sith_Happens]

**May not convert Palpatines into Lannisters when going from a sci-fi to a fantasy setting.

* If my evil character's evil-ness can be measured in Gregor Clegaines, he's too evil for the DM's evil campaign.

[Inevitability]

I rest my case.

Also, all that was before last session, in which they split the party multiple times, almost chopped of a party member's hands, then angered the second most powerful NPC within a radius of several hundred miles (the most powerful one was already angry at them). From there it pretty much resolved in a chain of everyone betraying everyone that was still going on by the time we ended the session.

[JAL_1138]

Also, all that was before last session, in which they split the party multiple times, almost chopped of a party member's hands, then angered the second most powerful NPC within a radius of several hundred miles (the most powerful one was already angry at them). From there it pretty much resolved in a chain of everyone betraying everyone that was still going on by the time we ended the session.

...wow. And this is an aquatic campaign? Do they act more reasonably on land, or is this their normal MO?

[DigoDragon]

* I am not allowed to skip sleeping penalties by simply 'Holding Back'.
** No longer allowed an intimidation check by simply putting down the newspaper I'm reading.
*** 'My gun is an extension of my arm' is an acceptable cliche. 'Death is an extension of my being' is not.
**** Drawing my firearm is not the same thing as making a called shot.
***** No longer allowed to deal damage on an Initiative roll.
****** I will no longer substitute a 'Deuce-and-a-half' for lockpicks.
******* Splitting off from the party should never frighten the GM.
******** Not allowed to successfully catch another PC who fell from low orbit.
********* At no point when solo-ing the enemy should the other PCs plan a rescue operation for the BBEG.
********** I am no longer allowed to name m character Jenkins.

[IZ42]

** No longer allowed an intimidation check by simply putting down the newspaper I'm reading.
If I were the GM:
http://memeorama.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/ill-allow-it-gif.gif

* Robotic animal companions as a regular class feature can be mildly horrifying.
** Saying "Hail Dark Figure", even when completely accurate to the situation, will get dice thrown
*** Intentionally Trolling enemies will about the GM
****The goliath with an 8 CHA should not have better social sense than the Goblin with 14.

[DigoDragon]

If I were the GM

I like you already. :smallbiggrin:

[Calemyr]

Does "things I probably should not get away with as DM" count?

* The magus's wood golem is not limited to saying "I", "AM", and "GROOT", exclusively in that order.
* The cavalier's challenges are not by default "Yo Mamma" jokes.
* A goblin alchemist may not use the Ragdoll Mutagen to distract enemies by inventing "goblin ball".
** Especially if the fighter gets a turn "at bat".
* The bard may not cast Tongues on an undead skull.
** Especially not in the presence of the goth cleric who finds a rhythmic "Die! Die! I hate you! I hate you!" to be soothing music.
*** The bard and the cleric are not allowed to use this skull as a background singer for the bard's performance checks.
**** This joke is going to haunt me even after you guys escape the crypt, isn't it?
* A barbarian with a greatclub should not be described as a "roid-raging baseball player".
* Halfling oracles are now banned.
** Especially if they're fugitives.
*** Seriously, no small mediums at large.
* The ranger's awakened wolf does not talk like Scooby Doo.
** Complaints about this do not allow me to change it to Scrappy Doo.

[Anonymouswizard]

* My transformation sequence does not have a duration of 'approximately one battle'.
** I do not have AC 0 when it's active.
*** Even if I'm a magical girl.

[JAL_1138]

Does "things I probably should not get away with as DM" count?

* The magus's wood golem is not limited to saying "I", "AM", and "GROOT", exclusively in that order.

[...]

* Halfling oracles are now banned.
** Especially if they're fugitives.
*** Seriously, no small mediums at large.

...You can't do these as a DM anymore...? ...your players make me sad.

I like your style. :smallbiggrin:

EDIT: It's worth mentioning that "medium" jokes have been around since before Greyhawk material was first published. Rary got his name because magic-users of a certain level were called "mediums;" one of Gygax's players (Kunz?) wanted to get the character to that level solely for the pun of "Medium Rary." They're part of gaming history, and should never be frowned upon.

[Inevitability]

...wow. And this is an aquatic campaign? Do they act more reasonably on land, or is this their normal MO?

Not an aquatic campaign. It is a single part of the main quest and they haven't been around water for longer than a few sessions. And yeah, they usually do stuff like that.

[goto124]

solely for the pun of "Medium Rary'

... I must be missing the joke.

[JAL_1138]

Not an aquatic campaign. It is a single part of the main quest and they haven't been around water for longer than a few sessions. And yeah, they usually do stuff like that.

...They did all that in a few sessions? Yeesh...

Still....Even if they're like that normally, it still goes to show that going in or on the water always has a bad result. Always. In D&D, water = bad.

[Rater202]

... I must be missing the joke.

Lot's of people like their steaks medium rare.

*I am preemptively banned from using the dragonballs to schedule booty calls, produce wine, sake, beer, bourbon, or tequila, or adding a third seat to my space ship.
**Seriously, it's a wish. Go big.
***"To remain in the prime of my youth and health for all eternity" might still be thinking a little low.
****"To have the powers of realities greatest warriors, past present, and future" is a little too big.
*****"Summoning an Army of Immortal Saiyan's beyond God is right out-Especially if they know how to go Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan.
******I can't wish to be a Super Saiyan if I'm not a saiyan and have no idea what the hell a Saiyan is.

The first one is a preemptive self ban, the third one is what the character in question would actually wish for, and the rest is just stuff i made up because I thought it was funny.

[Wookieetank]

*While using a wish spell to remove all evil from the world and granting eternal peace is noble, it will make the DM cry.
**Particularly in the first adventure.

[Calemyr]

*While using a wish spell to remove all evil from the world and granting eternal peace is noble, it will make the DM cry.
**Particularly in the first adventure.

That would be the foundation of a wonderful game, in my mind. To achieve that wish, it would have to seal the entire world in stasis and wipe out all sentient life, because freedom of choice innately means the freedom to be evil. Imagine a grey, amoral destroyer of worlds - kind of like the Nothing from Never Ending Story - slowly obliterating everything in order to create an ideal oblivion where there is no evil and peace reigns supreme.

You wished for it. Now you go deal with it!

[Rater202]

I must not assume that anyone who attacks me with advanced weaponry is just a native who scavenged it from a fallen space craft, and therefore has no idea what it really is.
** may not act condescending towerds them and ask that they play with their toys elsewhere.
***This goes double if they're actually a technologically advanced species of extraterrestrials who built oall of the technology themselves, even if I don't know that.
****Triple if they're a fellow PC.

In my defense, really there's no way to tell a tuffle from a human anyway...

[JAL_1138]

*If most of my character's power is based on screaming loudly, may not be named Wilhelm.

*My 5e outlander archer with proficiency in a musical instrument cannot be a blatant ripoff of Harmonica from Once Upon A Time In The West.

[Rater202]

*I am not allowed to accidentally marry two middle schoolers to each other.
**Again.

[Inevitability]

*Not allowed to make the PC's think their main base has been destroyed when it hasn't.
**Not allowed to emphasize smoke clouds floating above where their base should be.
***Their henchmen aren't having a barbecue party at the exact moment they arrive.
****Not allowed to repeat this every time they arrive back at their base.

[razorfloss]

*you want to play a cross dressing bard cool
**you can't stab people for offending you
***i don't care if the guard captain cheated you cant half kill him and hide out at a church
****seducing the guard captains wife to get back at him for cheating was not necessary
*****I swear to pelor if you don't quit stabbing members of the guard for no reason the king will come after you
******how the hell did you seduce the queen
********How in the nine hell's did you convince the patron god of the kingdom to forgive you of your crimes and make you her champion
*********that it you are no longer base any chars on people from history
for those wondering this is her http://www.rejectedprincesses.com/princesses/catalina-de-erauso/

[illyahr]

*you want to play a cross dressing bard cool
**you can't stab people for offending you
***i don't care if the guard captain cheated you cant half kill him and hide out at a church
****seducing the guard captains wife to get back at him for cheating was not necessary
*****I swear to pelor if you don't quit stabbing members of the guard for no reason the king will come after you
******how the hell did you seduce the queen
********How in the nine hell's did you convince the patron god of the kingdom to forgive you of your crimes and make you her champion
*********that it you are no longer base any chars on people from history
for those wondering this is her http://www.rejectedprincesses.com/princesses/catalina-de-erauso/

She is my hero. I'm adding her to the top of my list of Favorite People From History. :smallbiggrin:

[razorfloss]

She is my hero. I'm adding her to the top of my list of Favorite People From History. :smallbiggrin:

met her french equivalent http://www.rejectedprincesses.com/princesses/julie-daubigny/

[illyahr]

met her french equivalent http://www.rejectedprincesses.com/princesses/julie-daubigny/

Ah, they both speak to the bard in me. :smallbiggrin:

[Rater202]

*If we're a club with the oldest member 12 years old, "three kidnappings and you get a free sundae'" is a policy to rethink.

[Drakeburn]

* From now on, I should come up with a decent number of enemies to throw at the players.
** No, one orange hulk isn't enough to stand against a team of superheroes.
*** The swordsman/assassin and a radioactive teenage girl aren't challenging enough.
**** A bunch of giant squids and sharks don't seem to do squat either.
***** Maybe I should've made a kraken instead.

[Bucky]

*Not allowed to gestalt Truenamer with Monk in a "high power" campaign.
**Not allowed to multiclass Truenamer with Monk.
***A called shot to the rump has no mechanical effect.
****Stop being so literal with his motto to "kick ass and take names"!

[Anonymouswizard]

* I may not tactically miss sessions in order to abuse downtime.
** I should not grow faster by not turning up to adventure.
*** May not state that my only reason for turning up is 'to replace the lab that the GM burnt down'.
**** Once the lab is restored, I may not skip a session to install a security system in it.
***** No, I may not skip 10 sessions in order to build a robot army.
****** The fact I gained no XP for those sessions should not excuse me from soloing the party.

[Mrc.]

*Must not, under any conditions, impersonate the Pope to lead an army of battle-hungry Catholics against an Alien armada that's blockading Earth.


On an unrelated note, I propose that now is time to lead an army of catholics come up with a name for the next thread.

I propose the following:

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VIII: You Remind Me Of The Babe

I look forward to hearing your suggestions folks :smallsmile:

[Anonymouswizard]

*Must not, under any conditions, impersonate the Pope to lead an army of battle-hungry Catholics against an Alien armada that's blockading Earth.

** We may not play a group of antipopes.
*** We cannot excommunicate each other.
**** Or fight over who gets to play Pope Joan.


On an unrelated note, I propose that now is time to lead an army of catholics come up with a name for the next thread.

I propose the following:

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VIII: You Remind Me Of The Babe

I look forward to hearing your suggestions folks :smallsmile:

Just to get it over with.

* I still cannot remind the playground of the babe.

[Illithid]

I may not interrogate captives with a hand puppet made from their dead comrade.

Actually, never mind, I totally still do that.

[GuesssWho]

On an unrelated note, I propose that now is time to lead an army of catholics come up with a name for the next thread.

You Are Not Allowed To Eat That, possibly?

[Rater202]

I'm not aloud to wonder if it's weird for my PC to X

[Lord Raziere]

How about:

Beer Bear Barbarian

cause the title is long already. need something simple but kind an in-joke.

[JAL_1138]

How about just "Don't Even Think About It"...?

[Drakeburn]

Or how about "Don't You Even Dare"

[JAL_1138]

Or how about "Don't You Even Dare"

Ooh, I like that better than mine. This one gets my vote.

Although I do like the "You Are Not Allowed To Eat That" one, since I say that to my cat at least five times a day.

[Drakeburn]

Ooh, I like that better than mine. This one gets my vote.

Although I do like the "You Are Not Allowed To Eat That" one, since I say that to my cat at least five times a day.

You'd be surprised how often my cats have gotten away with eating something they're not supposed to.

One managed to take a big bite out of a bag of catnip, and another managed to eat some dinner my family was about to eat. And he was eating it straight out of pot. That was on the stove.

Another one I just thought up of is "Oh no you don't!"

[Spore]

In light of some of the revelations of the past days: "Stop it, you're scaring the dimensional shamblers!"

[Anonymouswizard]

I suggest Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VIII: the GM's thousandth SAN check

[razorfloss]

I suggest Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VIII: the GM's thousandth SAN check

I like this one

[Inevitability]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VIII: I Kill Gandalf

Kudos to those who get the reference.

[Anonymouswizard]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VIII: I Kill Gandalf

Kudos to those who get the reference.

I assume we're playing Sam, Merry, and Pippen? Let's just start at Rivendel.

[TeChameleon]

Hmm... "Things I May No Longer Do while Playing VIII: No. Just... No."?
Or "Things I May No Longer Do while Playing VIII: Why is the PLOT on fire?"?
"Things I May No Longer Do while Playing VIII: Derailing the Orient Express."?
"Things I May No Longer Do while Playing VIII: You crossbred WHAT?"?
"Things I May No Longer Do while Playing VIII: GM SAN check: Failed."?

[JAL_1138]

You'd be surprised how often my cats have gotten away with eating something they're not supposed to.

One managed to take a big bite out of a bag of catnip, and another managed to eat some dinner my family was about to eat. And he was eating it straight out of pot. That was on the stove.


...I wouldn't be surprised at all. That's pretty much standard cat. :smallbiggrin:

[Spore]

...I wouldn't be surprised at all. That's pretty much standard cat. :smallbiggrin:

My cat once ate 1,5kg of meat (3,3 lb in freedom units). Unsurprisingly he only ate sparse the next 3 days. :D

[BootStrapTommy]

*I may no longer carry a loaded canon around in my portable hole

[Emperordaniel]

*I may no longer carry a loaded canon around in my portable hole

I may not respond by carrying a loaded cannon in my bag of holding.

[BootStrapTommy]

I may not respond by carrying a loaded cannon in my bag of holding.Nope, I spelled it right the first time. You figure it out.

[Ksheep]

I propose Things I May No Longer Do While Playing I: Hey, No Recursing!

[JAL_1138]

I may not respond by carrying a loaded cannon in my bag of holding.


Nope, I spelled it right the first time. You figure it out.

...he really does mean a loaded canon. One N. As in, body of accepted scripture. Leaf through the Mostly Useless Magic Items thread over in the 5e forums...

[Drakeburn]

My cat once ate 1,5kg of meat (3,3 lb in freedom units). Unsurprisingly he only ate sparse the next 3 days. :D

One of my cats has actually managed to eat yams, ice cream, milk from my little sister's baby bottle, and a lot of other stuff I can't remember. Those darn cats. :smallamused: (heh heh, movie reference)

* No, your character cannot be named Stampylongnose
** You can't name your character iballisticsquid either
*** For the love of....... WE'RE PLAYING DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS! NOT MINECRAFT!!!
**** There is no such thing as a Minecraft tabletop rpg, so stop asking!

What is wrong with this generation of kids? :smallsigh:

[Spore]

One of my cats has actually managed to eat yams, ice cream, milk from my little sister's baby bottle, and a lot of other stuff I can't remember. Those darn cats. :smallamused: (heh heh, movie reference)

* I cannot introduce a polymorphed Cat Swashbuckler for the lack of the Tibbit race in our setting.
** No, his initiative bonus cannot be refluffed as "puppy eyes" catching the enemy off-guard.
*** Yes, killing a small cat with deadly force is evil. You cannot make the _DM_ feel bad for attacking small critters.
**** Especially if his swordplay is superior to those of the most enemies you face.
***** Cut the face Spanish/Mexican accent already.

Now I really want to create Puss in Boots...

[JAL_1138]

* I cannot introduce a polymorphed Cat Swashbuckler for the lack of the Tibbit race in our setting.
** No, his initiative bonus cannot be refluffed as "puppy eyes" catching the enemy off-guard.
*** Yes, killing a small cat with deadly force is evil. You cannot make the _DM_ feel bad for attacking small critters.
**** Especially if his swordplay is superior to those of the most enemies you face.
***** Cut the face Spanish/Mexican accent already.

Now I really want to create Puss in Boots...

*****The polymorphed cat swashbuckler cannot be Greebo either; the rest of the party needs something to do in combat.
******Killing Greebo in combat would not be evil, per se, but a) it can't be done, and b) you'd make Nanny Ogg mad at you, and that would not end well at all.

[Inevitability]

"Things I May No Longer Do while Playing VIII: Why is the PLOT on fire?"?

I like this one.


"Things I May No Longer Do while Playing VIII: You crossbred WHAT?"?

My players actually tried this. During one combat, they were actively trying to nonlethally deal with their foes. Not out of mercy, but because they needed gnomes for their crossbreed schemes.

[Wookieetank]

** We may not play a group of antipopes.
*** We cannot excommunicate each other.
**** Or fight over who gets to play Pope Joan.


*****Not allowed to make a large Pope-ron collider.
******Smashing a pope into an antipope does not work that way.

[Lord Raziere]

* My Beer Bear Barbarian cannot use a bear to smash into a bar to get beer.
** Nor can they use a bear to get bees to unleash into a bar for not giving him beer.
*** Nor can they get drunk enough at a bar from beer to go out and wrestle a bear just so that he can have a distraction to get honey from bees.

[JAL_1138]

* My Beer Bear Barbarian cannot use a bear to smash into a bar to get beer.
** Nor can they use a bear to get bees to unleash into a bar for not giving him beer.
*** Nor can they get drunk enough at a bar from beer to go out and wrestle a bear just so that he can have a distraction to get honey from bees.

****May not give an awakened bear Bear Totem Barbarian class levels and a background as a brewer, making a Bear Beer Bear Barbarian.
*****May not give said Bear Beer Bear Barbarian a job as a bouncer and spiked barding, and then multiclass bard, making a Barbed-Barded Bard Bar Bear Beer Bear Barbarian.

[illyahr]

****May not give an awakened bear Bear Totem Barbarian class levels and a background as a brewer, making a Bear Beer Bear Barbarian.
*****May not give said Bear Beer Bear Barbarian a job as a bouncer and spiked barding, and then multiclass bard, making a Barbed-Barded Bard Bar Bear Beer Bear Barbarian.

^This. This is beautiful. :smalltongue:

[JAL_1138]

^This. This is beautiful. :smalltongue:

:smallbiggrin::smallbiggrin::smallbiggrin:

Although in hindsight I think I probably should have written it as a Barbed-Barded Beer Bar Bear Bear Barbarian Bard, or a Barbed-Barded Bar Beer Bear Bard Bear Barbarian...

[Lord Raziere]

^This. This is beautiful. :smalltongue:

Then you will love my original beer bear barbarian post! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18916966&postcount=948)

[illyahr]

Then you will love my original beer bear barbarian post! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18916966&postcount=948)

I commented on that one too. :smallbiggrin:

[razorfloss]

i can no longer base my games on my ck2 playthough

[JAL_1138]

Then you will love my original beer bear barbarian post! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18916966&postcount=948)

Which, by the way, was a thing of pure glory. I merely stood upon the shoulders of a giant.

[BootStrapTommy]

...he really does mean a loaded canon. One N. As in, body of accepted scripture. Leaf through the Mostly Useless Magic Items thread over in the 5e forums... A devastatingly powerful artifact if ever there was one...

[Sith_Happens]

How about:

Beer Bear Barbarian

cause the title is long already. need something simple but kind an in-joke.

Surely there's enough room to change that to Bears Riding Bears Summoning Bears?:smallwink:


Things I May No Longer Do while Playing VIII: Why is the PLOT on fire?

This one.:smallbiggrin:

[illyahr]

Things I May No Longer Do while Playing VIII: Why is the PLOT on fire?

+1 to this.

[razorfloss]

Hmm... "
"Things I May No Longer Do while Playing VIII: Why is the PLOT on fire?"?


I like this one to

[Anonymouswizard]

* Pyromaniac is no longer a flaw.

[JAL_1138]

*May not invent Thermite in AD&D so nobody has to play a Thief.
**May not invent Thermite even if we have a Thief.
***Aluminum does not exist in AD&D.

[Anonymouswizard]

* Must actually leave the library at some point, instead of just doing research.
** The response to a new monster appearing is not 'another season in the library'.
*** Cannot develop a new spell specifically designed to defeat the latest monster.
**** After vanquishing the monster, cannot spend the rest of the year in the library learning how to summon it.
***** THIS IS CALL OF CTHULHU, NOT ARS MAGICA!
No, I haven't done this, people seem to be nervous about letting me near either system.

[razorfloss]

*i can no longer play an artificer
**i can no longer base my weapons on internet memes
***damn it you cant make a mine turtle
***you cant make a weapon that summons trains
****you can not shout everybody do the flop when you trip someone
*****NO you can not roleplay drunk science
******damn it stop getting the bard to help you

[Rater202]

*Not alowed to tell the Bard's mom about her new boyfriend.
**Or to tell her parents she was kidnapped by a crazy Voodoo Lady

[JAL_1138]

*When another character is telling his worried parents about what he's been doing, may not add "And he's only died three times so far! Although there was that time he got his arm cut off, and that time he got eaten by a frog..."

[JAL_1138]

*Charlatan-background Fiend Pact Warlock's backstory cannot be a Greatful Dead song.

"Friend of the Devil"

I lit out from Reno, I was trailed by twenty hounds
Didn't get to sleep last night 'till the morning came around.

Set out runnin' but I take my time
A friend of the devil is a friend of mine
If I get home before daylight, I just might get some sleep tonight.

Ran into the devil, babe, he loaned me twenty bills
I spent the night in Utah in a cave up in the hills.

Set out runnin' but I take my time, a friend of the devil is a friend of mine,
If I get home before daylight, I just might get some sleep tonight.

I ran down to the levee but the devil caught me there
He took my twenty dollar bill and vanished in the air.

Set out runnin' but I take my time
A friend of the devil is a friend of mine
If I get home before daylight, I just might get some sleep tonight.

Got two reasons why I cry away each lonely night,
The first one's named Sweet Anne Marie, and she's my heart's delight.
The second one is prison, babe, the sheriff's on my trail,
And if he catches up with me, I'll spend my life in jail.

Got a wife in Chino, babe, and one in Cherokee
The first one says she's got my child, but it don't look like me.

Set out runnin' but I take my time,
A friend of the devil is a friend of mine,
If I get home before daylight, I just might get some sleep tonight.

[Sith_Happens]

* I may not put the "mate" in "first mate."
* I may not put anything in the first mate.

[Anonymouswizard]

* No matter how many dots I put in Fetish, 'Asian' is not valid.
** May not spend all my background points on Fetishes.
*** Wrong kind of Fetish!

[GrayGriffin]

* Not allowed to order my Pokemon to enact brutal vengeance on a Marshtomp simply because it attacked my character's son.
** Especially if it hasn't been confirmed if he's actually her son or not.
*** Also not allowed to order brutal vengeance against another Marshtomp for knocking out my character's love interest.
**** Also not allowed to order brutality against the last Marshtomp simply because it won't surrender.
***** Not allowed to be disappointed when my Pokemon doesn't get to KO said last Marshtomp.
**** Not allowed to make oblique references to eating said Marshtomp's organs.

[TurboGhast]

* Not allowed to order my Pokemon to enact brutal vengeance on a Marshtomp simply because it attacked my character's son.
** Especially if it hasn't been confirmed if he's actually her son or not.
*** Also not allowed to order brutal vengeance against another Marshtomp for knocking out my character's love interest.
**** Also not allowed to order brutality against the last Marshtomp simply because it won't surrender.
***** Not allowed to be disappointed when my Pokemon doesn't get to KO said last Marshtomp.
**** Not allowed to make oblique references to eating said Marshtomp's organs.

*****Not allowed to attack fellow party members for having a Marshtomp.
Just a joke.

[Rater202]

*There are a finite number of situations where "Kamehameha him in the ****" is an acceptable solution.
** This extends to Masenko, Makankosappo, dodonpa, Kikoho, Shin-Kikoho, Big Bang Attack, Garlic Gun, Spirit Ball, Final flash, Dodohameha, Final Kamehameha, Big Bang Kamehameha, Dynamite Kick, Super Dynamite Kick, Super Ghost Kamikaze Attack, Death Beam, Genocide Beam, Chocolate Beam, and Chocolate Kamehameha.
***Death Ball, Big Bang Crash, and X10 Kamehameha can't be aimed precisely enough for groin shots.
****A Character whose first response to most situations is "energy blast to the crotch" is insufficiently pure in heart to use the Genki Dama.

All hypotheticals.

[Sith_Happens]

*There are a finite number of situations where "Kamehameha him in the ****" is an acceptable solution.

** To clarify, this means that the number of situations in which "Kamehameha him in the ****" is an acceptable solution is less than the number of situations in which it's possible to do so in the first place.

[rs2excelsior]

*When the party has been hired to escort a caravan full of magic items, not allowed to point out that the value of said items is probably more than what we're being paid.
**Seriously, they've probably all got tracking spells on them.
***May not be a gnome sorcerer who's the best front line combatant in the party.
****Even if he's a dragon bloodline sorcerer with claws as an ability at level 1.
*****No matter if I have claws and can chuck fire spells around, a three-and-a-half foot tall gnome just ain't going to intimidate much, stop trying.
******If I've just been fully healed and given the ability to change fire spells to acid spells after almost dying against a monster with immunity to fire, my first action probably shouldn't be to acid-ball said monster, given that he's standing over me.

All of those actually happened. That was a fun character :smallbiggrin:

Also,

"Things I May No Longer Do while Playing VIII: Why is the PLOT on fire?"

+1 to this.

[Anonymouswizard]

* May not base a character on Bollywood police films.
** 'I only resort to violence when necessary' should not be my catchphrase.
*** There are times when violence isn't necessary.

I also like why is the PLOT on fire enough to throw my support behind it.

[TheTeaMustFlow]

* If every aspect on my character sheet is a Johnny Cash quote, the character's vetoed.
** The fact that this was true for my last two characters and the GM just didn't notice does not change this.

*Regardless of whatever historical evidence I can dredge up, the principle of `dead men's pointy hats` is not a recognised method of advancement in the Catholic Church.
**Incidentally, if we ever do that Westeros campaign, the same applies to the principle of `dead men's pointy chairs`.

I'll throw in my vote for Why is the Plot on Fire?

[JAL_1138]

*Cannot use Leomund's Tiny Hut to replace the rogue.

[Rater202]

*"A 20 Red Dragon" is not an acceptable character concept.

[Milodiah]

I'll put my vote to Why is the Plot on Fire, given my sig and all :smalltongue:

*Just because I have a wand of Magic Missile, the party still expects me to be in the same room as the fight.
**Not allowed to prove them wrong by sticking my arm around the doorframe, holding the wand sideways gangster-style, and still outdamaging the fighter.
***Okay, fine, you can do that. However, even the DM isn't sure how one holds a wand "gangster-style".
****Not allowed to ask the Beguiler's player for advice on the matter.

[Sith_Happens]

Hey Rater, is that megacrossover campaign still going? If so, this one's for you:

Species I May Not Add to my Omnitrix:

* Kryptonian
* Time Lord
* Q
* Sarrukh
* Yuki Nagato
* Any Pokémon
* Anything from the Cthulhu Mythos
* Asari
* Autobot (seriously, they don't even have DNA)
* Zonama Sekot
* Celestial [Marvel]
* Force Wielder
* Incubator
* Choushin
* 5th-Dimensional Being [DC]
* The Anti-Spiral
* Alien Space Bat

[Rater202]

Hey Rater, is that megacrossover campaign still going? If so, this one's for you:

It ended a few months ago-we moved (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=19064215&postcount=1175) onto something else (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=19072492&postcount=1188).


Species I May Not Add to my Omnitrix:

* Kryptonian
* Time Lord
* Q
* Sarrukh
* Yuki Nagato
* Any Pokémon
* Anything from the Cthulhu Mythos
* Asari
* Autobot (seriously, they don't even have DNA)
* Zonama Sekot
* Celestial [Marvel]
* Force Wielder*
* Incubator
* Choushin
* 5th-Dimensional Being [DC]
* The Anti-Spiral
* Alien Space Bat

Bolded are things that were added.

Bolded and underlined are things a PC started with.

Italics are ones my character had.

Asterix is "more than one applicable species."

also, if you want to get technical about it, all the Omnitrix need is for the species to be sapient and have some method of passing along genes-actual DNA for their genetics isn't necessary.

So as long as they're G1 Autobots*, one could be added. Or if you can't buy that, Beast Wars had the Transmetals whose synthesized organic parts and their robotics integrated to the point of being reverse cyborgs, so that might pass, and if you can stomach Beast Machines, by that point they were completely techno-organic lifeforms so those would be acceptable under the same logic as the Galvanic Mechomorphs from Ben 10 canon.

I think Animated revisited that concept, too.

*Optimus Primal, the leader of the maximals from Transformers: Beast Wars (Or Beasties if you live in Canada), was a direct descendant of G1 Optimus Prime. To be a descendant implies ancestry, which implies the passing along of heritable traits.

[Lord Raziere]

More Species I May Not Add To the Omnitrix:
Saiyans
Majins
Cell
Jenova
Ichigo Kurosaki
Uchihas
Any species involving a combination of "bear" "beer" "bar" or "bee" in their name
Asura
Lavos
Bec

[Sith_Happens]

Asterix is "more than one applicable species."

I meant this one (http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Force_wielder).

[Inevitability]

*May not communicate in nothing but Star Wars quotes.
**May not quote Star Wars anymore.
***May not quote anything anymore.
****May not play non-mute characters.
*****No, there is no hand sign for 'come to the dark side'.

[Beige]

* may not get around an enemy's fancy pendant protecting them from everything but energy by using physics textbooks to prove hammers are an application of kinetic energy
** may not prove chemical reactions from, say, acids are not energy, but produce it as part of the reaction, and thus would not overcome an immunity to everything but energy after obtaining said pendant
*** May not have a sad face when DM then renames my new fancy pendant necklace of acid protection:smallfrown:

Science is fun!

[Anonymouswizard]

* May not end the first session with more fetishes than ability dots.
** How does a cub know the rite of fetish anyway.
*** May not abuse my collection of one and two dot disguise fetishes to avoid the inevitable assassins.
**** I should give some of those fetishes to pack members.
***** Cannot skimp on the Totem background in order to get Gnosis to burn for fetishes.
****** May not plan this out before the first session begins.

[Rater202]

More Species I May Not Add To the Omnitrix:
Saiyans
Majins
Ce/ll
Jenova
Ich/igo Kur/osaki
Uchihas
Any species involving a combination of "bear" "beer" "bar" or "bee" in their name
Asura
Lavos
Bec

Bolded is something someone had.

Stroken Through is "done'st have any genetic traits"

Slashs through means "disqualified on grounds of being a hybrid

And being maybed into subscript means "not a distinct species".

[JAL_1138]

*May not roll below 7 on all attacks and above my NWP or thief-skill% all session, missing every attack I make while every enemy saves vs every spell I cast, and then one-shot the NPC villain of the whole adventure with a crit and max damage in the first round.

[Anonymouswizard]

* No number of technicalities will let me add Lucifer to my Omnitrix.
** I cannot fuse the demon forms in my Omnitrix into stronger forms.

[Rater202]

* No number of technicalities will let me add Lucifer to my Omnitrix.
** I cannot fuse the demon forms in my Omnitrix into stronger forms.

***Yeah. You need a Bi-omnitrix to do that.
****And No demons.
*****Unless you're running on Disgaea Demon Logic.
******But still no because OP.
*******Considering that the Demons in Dragonball are just evil Shin-jin banished to Makai, you can either have demons or Shin-jin, not both.

[Anonymouswizard]

***Yeah. You need a Bi-omnitrix to do that.
****And No demons.
*****Unless you're running on Disgaea Demon Logic.
******But still no because OP.
*******Considering that the Demons in Dragonball are just evil Shin-jin banished to Makai, you can either have demons or Shin-jin, not both.

******** Cannot visit the world of Shin Megami Tensei 2 just to add YHWH to the omnitrix or bi-omnitrix.
********* No upgrading my omnitrix with a COMP.

[Rater202]

******** Cannot visit the world of Shin Megami Tensei 2 just to add YHWH to the omnitrix or bi-omnitrix.

********The Ultimatrix is right out.

BTW, what's COMP stand for?

*I am not The Wizard of Oz.

[Anonymouswizard]

********The Ultimatrix is right out.

BTW, what's COMP stand for?

********* Ultimate YHWH is not every alignment.

Which COMP? The main series I believe it's just short for computer, but mounted on your arm. The idea was to integrate a Omnitrix with it and use the demon summoning program to summon alien forms.

In Devil Survivor COMPS are DS like devices called 'COMmunication Players' (caps added), while in 2 they got replaced by phones.

[razorfloss]

*i can no longer use ck2 logic to solve problems
**especially social problems

[JAL_1138]

*If I'm going to LARP my bard's performances at the table, keeping in mind the previous restrictions thereon, I have to learn some acoustic songs that don't make the DM start drinking and call his ex.

[Ksheep]

*i can no longer use ck2 logic to solve problems
**especially social problems

*** When re-rolling a character over and over again until I finally get really good stats, I may not claim that he's the result of a eugenics program
**** No, all of these failed characters are not children of a previous character of mine
***** I may not marry another character just because she would make a good spymaster
****** Claiming that her high Int indicates that she has the Genius trait, and that all her children should have a good chance of also having that trait
******* The same goes for my character's high Str and the Strong trait
******** I may not encourage in-breeding in my family to get the best possible stats for my children
********* That's it, next campaign will take place over the course of a single in-game day, no more breeding programs for you

[GuesssWho]

*If I'm going to LARP my bard's performances at the table, keeping in mind the previous restrictions thereon, I have to learn some acoustic songs that don't make the DM start drinking and call his ex.

*My Bard's songs can't be "Culling of the Fold," "We Could Use Your Blood" and/or "What A ****ing Lovely Day."

These are all real songs. Don't ask where I found them or why . . .

[Anonymouswizard]

*** When re-rolling a character over and over again until I finally get really good stats, I may not claim that he's the result of a eugenics program
**** No, all of these failed characters are not children of a previous character of mine
***** I may not marry another character just because she would make a good spymaster
****** Claiming that her high Int indicates that she has the Genius trait, and that all her children should have a good chance of also having that trait
******* The same goes for my character's high Str and the Strong trait
******** I may not encourage in-breeding in my family to get the best possible stats for my children
********* That's it, next campaign will take place over the course of a single in-game day, no more breeding programs for you

*********** May not perform eugenics on the other PCs.
************ Especially if it's just to add more breeding stock for my family.
************* Must now only play sane scientists.

[DigoDragon]

* Diplomacy will no longer have a burst-fire mode.

[JAL_1138]

* Diplomacy will no longer have a burst-fire mode.
**Unless "Diplomacy" is what I named my gun.

*A paranoid conman with a traumatic and impoverished background pretending to be a cowardly merchant-class fop pretending to be a seasoned adventurer pretending to be a boastful minor-nobility fop pretending to be a fearless adventurer is too many layers of deception for my character.

[DigoDragon]

**Unless "Diplomacy" is what I named my gun.

*** But not when we're playing Ponies of the non-Fallout kind.

[goto124]

* May not ask the DM of a MLP-Fallout-crossover game to allow my PCs to send flowers to one of the pony PCs.
** Especially when I'm not even in the game.
*** Even more so if the flowers have to be sent via an interdimensional delivery service.
**** Why are they hitting on someone who doesn't even exist on the same plane as theirs?

** May not send fried chicken either.
*** And not because a stoned teenage dragon will eat all of it.

[DigoDragon]

* May not ask the DM of a MLP-Fallout-crossover game to allow my PCs to send flowers to one of the pony PCs.
** Especially when I'm not even in the game.
*** Even more so if the flowers have to be sent via an interdimensional delivery service.
**** Why are they hitting on someone who doesn't even exist on the same plane as theirs?

** May not send fried chicken either.
*** And not because a stoned teenage dragon will eat all of it.

Laughed a bit too loudly in the office. :smallbiggrin:


* No longer allowed to have arguments with the voices inside my head.
** Especially when the voices make suggestions for actions I've already taken.
*** And said actions may lead me to a life of slavery. If I'm lucky.
**** I shall not trust my luck stat to get myself out of problems caused by listening to the voices in my head.

[Anonymouswizard]

**Unless "Diplomacy" is what I named my gun.

*** May not name my guillotine 'Reasonable Agreement'.
**** Or my noose 'Compromise'.

[JAL_1138]

*** May not name my guillotine 'Reasonable Agreement'.
**** Or my noose 'Compromise'.

*****My pike is not named "Pointed Criticism"
******My morningstar is not named "Gentle Persuasion"
*******My greataxe is not named "Little Suggestion"
********My bow is definitely not named "Uncle Gazpacho."
*********Even if I've applied Purple Worm poison to each arrow and can fire it 8 times in 6 seconds.

[Lord Raziere]

******** My bomb's name is not "Peaceful Conclusion"
********* My super contagious plague's name is not "Christmas"
********** My nuke's name is not "Happy Ending"
*********** Nor is my Death Star's name "Instant Utopia"

[JAL_1138]

*I can't name my pistol "Reason" and my machine gun "Nasty," just to set up the joke that if someone won't listen to Reason, I'll have to get Nasty.

[Ksheep]

* If my mad scientist ever starts developing custom-tailored diseases, I may not call my creation "World Cup Fever"
** Nor may I call it "Disco Fever"
*** If I name it "Bieber Fever", I will get books thrown at my head
**** If my disease (somehow) turns people into descriptive tablets, I may not call it "The Plaque"

[JAL_1138]

*Despite personal experience when hunting, turkeys do not gain Proficiency, Expertise, and Advantage to Stealth, Perception, Insight, Nature, and Survival checks the instant the legal hunting season opens.

[goto124]

** May not have Ranks in Turkey Calling.
*** May not invent a magic item that grants Ranks in Turkey Calling.

(Where do you live, by the way, that has turkey hunting season?)

[Anonymouswizard]

* When I say that I'll persuade them using 'Wit' and 'Charm', I should mention that's what my daggers are called.

* I may not play the offspring of Jack the Ripper and The Morrigan.

[JAL_1138]

** May not have Ranks in Turkey Calling.
*** May not invent a magic item that grants Ranks in Turkey Calling.

(Where do you live, by the way, that has turkey hunting season?)

('Murica. As far as I know, every state in the US allows turkey hunting in some fashion, even if in some places there are heavy restrictions, the season is short, it's limited to residents only, and/or the yearly bag limit is low. Even places you wouldn't expect, like Nevada, Arizona, or Hawaii--who'd have thought there'd even be wild turkeys there, much less enough of them to hunt?--or states where everyone sort of forgets there's more there than one big city, like New York, New Jersey, or Illinois. The only state they're not found in in large populations is Alaska, and they're still allowed to be hunted there as a feral/invasive species. Our Northern neighbors in Canada also allow some turkey hunting, but I don't know what their restrictions are.)

[GuesssWho]

* I may not play the offspring of Jack the Ripper and The Morrigan.

**No matter how cool a goddess of serial killers would be.

[Anonymouswizard]

**No matter how cool a goddess of serial killers would be.

One of my friends keeps threatening to run a 'children of the gods' game, where I'd play such a character if he wasn't adverse to pantheons that aren't Greek, Norse, or Egyptian.

I should be getting Scion soon, and so along these lines:
* I cannot run a campaign where the Tuatha are the only Pantheon.
** This goes double if the only pantheon is the Shen.
*** Cannot use Scion to run Exalted.
**** Cannot escalate epic attributes to the point that paranoia combat occurs.
***** When playing, cannot take my caseworker as a guide.
****** Cannot be a Scion born into one pantheon and adopted into another.

* Parranoia combat does not involve weapons with missing instructions, a blast radius larger than it's maximum range, or anything remotely similar.

[Rater202]

* I cannot run a campaign where the Tuatha are the only Pantheon.
** This goes double if the only pantheon is the Shen.***Even though there's a canon source book for Scion 1e that postulaes a scenario inwhich the Aesir are the only pantheon

[razorfloss]

*i can no longer play my wizard as black mage from 8bit theater
**no you can not call a fireball a hadouken
***not even if you change its damage to force
****no it does not absorb the love in the world to power it
*****just because you cast it 7 times a day doesn't mean you should
******NO YOU ARE NOT USING LEADERSHIP TO GET TO MAKE FIGHTER
*******stop trying to hit on cleric this is not 8bit theater

[Anonymouswizard]

***Even though there's a canon source book for Scion 1e that postulaes a scenario inwhich the Aesir are the only pantheon

**** The Aesir are fine, I'm just the only one in my area who knows the slightest bit about the Tuatha and Shen.

The existence of that sourcebook is why I want to such a game.

I'd love to do a Shen focused campaign though, but not even my Chinese friends have trouble giving names of Chinese legends to look up.

[ravenlikestea]

*May no longer give ooc advice to rogue's player on how cool it would be to have a batman style grappling hook.
**May no longer, ic, sit silently as rouge builds grappling hook and after the session, ooc, mention to DM how it's made incorrectly.
***May no longer laugh when during the next session the prince we're trying to save and rogue fall around 50 feet to the ground when grappling hook device doesn't work as expected.

[vasharanpaladin]

*Naming my character Yawgmoth might have flown a bit more freely had I not talked the group into reading Magic: The Gathering novels beforehand.

[JAL_1138]

*I cannot build the campaign world as the post-apocalyptic result of 2e wizards discovering how to vastly increase their arcane might, the gods granting clerics and druids additional power to match them, with it all culminating in a massive, nuclear-level war of epic proportions, which ultimately depleted magic and weakened the gods.

**The opening area is not a few miles out from the devastated region where the last of the "Locate City Bombs" fell.

***The conflict was not called the Edition War.

****I must give a reason for not including 4e in the Edition War beyond the implication that it doesn't count, so that I don't start an edition war at the table (or on this forum).

[Wookieetank]

*I cannot build the campaign world as the post-apocalyptic result of 2e wizards discovering how to vastly increase their arcane might, the gods franting clerics and druids additional power to match them, with it all culminating in a massive, nuclear-level war of epic proportions, which ultimately depleted magic and weakened the gods.

**The opening area is not a few miles out from the devastated region where the last of the "Locate City Bombs" fell.

***May not use this premise for a lead in to playing in the world of The Dark Tower.

[Anonymouswizard]

*I cannot build the campaign world as the post-apocalyptic result of 2e wizards discovering how to vastly increase their arcane might, the gods franting clerics and druids additional power to match them, with it all culminating in a massive, nuclear-level war of epic proportions, which ultimately depleted magic and weakened the gods.

**The opening area is not a few miles out from the devastated region where the last of the "Locate City Bombs" fell.

***The conflict was not called the Edition War.

****I must give a reason for not including 4e in the Edition War beyond the implication that it doesn't count, so that I don't start an edition war at the table (or on this forum).

***** May not use this as the back story to a 4e campaign.

* My high concept cannot be 'A very naughty boy'.
** My trouble definitely cannot be 'Is also the messiah'.

* I cannot have more allies, contacts or resources than the rest of the pack combined.
** It cannot be true for all three.
*** No more corporate wolves for me.
**** No more philodoxes for me.
***** May no longer focus on social skills.
****** May not play any garou except for a melee focused Ragabash.
******* Garou are banned.
******** No more humans for me.

* May not set Pentex on fire.
** May not set Premium Oil on fire.
*** May not set Black Dog on fire.
**** May not attempt to sell fire to any of Pentex's subsidiaries.
***** May not be successful.
****** May not sell them fire insurance.
******* May not sell 'Garou insurance'.
******** It does not have a Glass Walkers clause.
********* May no longer be worried about the ahroun's life insurance premium.

[DigoDragon]

***May not use this premise for a lead in to playing in the world of The Dark Tower.

I totally would. :smallbiggrin:


* May not test the theory that rotating any object fast enough would make it a drill.
** Paper bags are a poor material for constructing astronaut suits with.
*** Cannot design a left-turn signal that still operates after my vehicles has been crushed into a small cube.
**** Need to stop getting ideas from watching Sam & Max cartoons.

[Jurai]

* No, I may not play a winged pegasus Warmage/Rainbow Servant.
** No, I may not play an awakened pony Expert with Profession (Farmer) as one of her skills.
*** No, I may not play a Pegasus Scout/Monk.
**** No, I may not play a Unicorn Sorcerer with Craft (Clothing) as one of her skills.
***** No, I may not play a Pegasus Druid with a rabbit animal companion.
****** No, I may not play an awakened pony Bard with Perform (One-man Band), Craft (Party), or Craft (Baked Goods) as one of her skills.
******* No, I may not play any Ponies.

[goto124]

******* No, I may not ask a brony to give the names of all the above ponies.

[JAL_1138]

***** May not use this as the back story to a 4e campaign.


...it really does work better for 4e, doesn't it. 4e is so different in power levels and mechanics that I can't seem to come up with an adequate explanation for the transition from 4e to 5e...any thoughts?

[GuesssWho]

***May not use this premise for a lead in to playing in the world of The Dark Tower.

My character cannot be a 19th level psion werespider.

[Anonymouswizard]

...it really does work better for 4e, doesn't it. 4e is so different in power levels and mechanics that I can't seem to come up with an adequate explanation for the transition from 4e to 5e...any thoughts?

I intended to imply that the gods created 4e in response to the destruction of the edition war, but I can also see it causing an edition war, with fighters finally standing up to mages and clerics with their new powers.

5e could be when some people manage to latch onto a source of the old magic, I'm not sure.

[JAL_1138]

I intended to imply that the gods created 4e in response to the destruction of the edition war.

That's what I meant; it seems to fit with either 4e being the aftermath, with gods and magic weakened but enough magical fallout around to give noncasters a slew of new powers; or with 5e as the aftermath, where casters are less broken but work relatively similarly while noncasters have recaptured (or exceeded in the rogue's case) some of their relative strength from the 2e era, and gotten a few new bits of power from the fallout (e.g., Second Wind, Action Surge), but I can't quite sort out both in a really satisfactory way.

[Wookieetank]

* No, I may not play a winged pegasus Warmage/Rainbow Servant.
** No, I may not play an awakened pony Expert with Profession (Farmer) as one of her skills.
*** No, I may not play a Pegasus Scout/Monk.
**** No, I may not play a Unicorn Sorcerer with Craft (Clothing) as one of her skills.
***** No, I may not play a Pegasus Druid with a rabbit animal companion.
****** No, I may not play an awakened pony Bard with Perform (One-man Band), Craft (Party), or Craft (Baked Goods) as one of her skills.
******* No, I may not play any Ponies.


******* No, I may not ask a brony to give the names of all the above ponies.

In order:
Twilight Sparkle (I believe you mean winged Unicorn)
Apple Jack
Rainbow Dash
Rarity
Fluttershy
Pinky Pie

Because I could. :smalltongue::smallwink:

[TeChameleon]

* ... okay, if you really want to, I guess you can play a nightgaunt if you're willing to pay the level adjustment...
** And it's malnourished and really thin? I guess that's alright...
*** It's a paladin? Sure, why not. It's not like anything else about this thing is normal...
**** A dream-eater with a compulsion to wish its companions a peaceful slumber at the end of every day? Really?
*****... W. T. F. WHY is it wearing a teddy..?

****** Okay, NO. No, no, no... you can not play the gaunt nightie nightly nighty-night knightly nightgaunt!

[Rater202]

Any combination of powers that Gets the PRT to classify me as an Endbringer is banned.

[GuesssWho]

Any combination of powers that Gets the PRT to classify me as an Endbringer is banned.

What about other S-class powers?

[Centik]

*I am no longer allowed to hedge the party's life on rolling nothing but a natural 20.

**Not even when the evil elf woman's flute needs to be destroyed.. as she's playing it.. and dancing.. 100 feet away.. with my sling.

***Especially not when the flute raises the dead and may or may not unleash a demon, genie or demonic genie upon breaking.

****No, not even then.

*****And especially not then.

[Mrc.]

*"Like Kill La Kill but with anthropomorphic sheep" is no longer a valid concept for a one-off adventure

*No longer allowed to play Bards at the table

This is because we have a rule that whenever your Bard uses a musical instrument you have to play said instrument. However, I've been playing violin for 15 years and am more than good enough to do this. And I play it every single time. Apparently, whilst nice, it detracts from the roleplaying session :smallfrown:

[goto124]

** May not make the players use their Perform (Instrument) skills in RL whenever their character does.
*** May not apply this to Perform (Dance)
**** Or Perform (Act)
***** Or Perform (Comedy)
****** Or Perform (Oratory)
******* May not make immature jokes.

[Anonymouswizard]

** May not make the players use their Perform (Instrument) skills in RL whenever their character does.
*** May not apply this to Perform (Dance)
**** Or Perform (Act)
***** Or Perform (Comedy)
****** Or Perform (Oratory)
******* May not make immature jokes.

******** Perform (Sexual Anything) will get the character vetoed.

[DigoDragon]

* May not make immature jokes.

That's like... 80% of my jokes. XD

[Rater202]

What about other S-class powers?

Those were fine, but this guy had ratings of 10+ in Brute, Blaster, Thinker, and Stranger powers.

And ratings of 6 in mover powers and a 5 in a seperate thinker power. a 7 in breaker.

and we never did determine his Trump Rating.

The bad part is, we rolled randomly on a chart the GM made to determine what powers we had(I was a rubber man who was also pyrokinetic. I called him "Nascar" because when he gets going he really burns rubber.)

[razorfloss]

Those were fine, but this guy had ratings of 10+ in Brute, Blaster, Thinker, and Stranger powers.

And ratings of 6 in mover powers and a 5 in a seperate thinker power. a 7 in breaker.

and we never did determine his Trump Rating.

The bad part is, we rolled randomly on a chart the GM made to determine what powers we had(I was a rubber man who was also pyrokinetic. I called him "Nascar" because when he gets going he really burns rubber.)

that joke is bad and you should feel bad

[Braininthejar2]

that joke is bad and you should feel bad

http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/041/8/1/luffy_signature_by_carolgg-d5ufzhs.jpg

[murph04]

*I can no longer refer to the seafaring gnomes as "Saltlicks" or Dwarves as "Mudpies". It apparently sounds rude when I say it.

[Sith_Happens]

*"Like Kill La Kill but with anthropomorphic sheep" is no longer a valid concept for a one-off adventure

http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/scale_super/14/140013/4261420-3977509-0468802434-37468.jpg

[JAL_1138]

*My halfling bard's entire backstory does not consist solely of two Little Jimmy Dickens songs.
**My halfling bard is not "Little Jimmy Dickens with a crossbow."
***My halfling bard does not use the chorus of "May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose" for Vicious Mockery.

[IZ42]

*"Like Kill La Kill but with anthropomorphic sheep" is no longer a valid concept for a one-off adventure

That sounds like an excellent one-off and I would totally play in it. Your players are crazy.

[Mrc.]

That sounds like an excellent one-off and I would totally play in it. Your players are crazy.

Thanks, and yeah we are. The biggest issue with it is that we tried to run it in Exalted, despite us collectively having about 2 hours total experience with the system. I actually thought we made a decent attempt at modifying the fluff though:

Instead of it being humans that the Life Fiber was trying to harvest, it was actual sheep. Thus, the characters (Rybaaku, Lambko and Satsuki (we couldn't think of a pun for that one)) have to set out to free themselves from the terrors that assail them. Each has a fleece that has different properties just like their clothing, but just like in the show they drain blood. So the fleece begins to dye red as you fight, and it injures you periodically. Kind of a shame we couldn't make it work.

[DigoDragon]

* If I give the party a giant horse that can transform into a giant dragon and they use 'Surrender or else dragon' as their diplomatic opening move, I really deserve exactly what happens next and should no longer give the party a giant horse.

[Rater202]

* If I give the party a giant horse that can transform into a giant dragon and they use 'Surrender or else dragon' as their diplomatic opening move, I really deserve exactly what happens next and should no longer give the party a giant horse.
***May not fail to neglect that said Giant Horse is a PC.

*May not discuss what size cake my 12 year old PC's 11 year old boyfriend wears.
**Seriously, you're gonna get us on so many watchlists.

[Anonymouswizard]

* No longer allowed to plan terrorist attacks that would be effective in real life.
** Even if they cause no loss of life or damage to infrastructure.
*** We don't want multiple players on that government watch list.

Yes, one of the people I play with knows how to do such a thing. We are all glad they plays lawful or neutral good types.

[Rater202]

*I need to stop threatening ponies with lightening.

[IZ42]

*Should no longer come to this thread to find new ways to aggravate my GM
**This does not mean, however, that I'll actually stop



*Should not have to keep track of Near-Death experiences
**Should not have so many near-death experiences that I feel obligated to start tracking them
***My character should not develop an irrational fear of ladders
****Despite the fact that every time he's gone up or down a ladder, something extremely bad has happened to him
*****Even if he has a fly speed
******Cursing at my construct animal companion for being a 'no good piece of scrap', just because it can't break through the DR/10 might get you stared at

[goto124]

*I need to stop threatening ponies with lightening.

** May not ask if you meant lightning or lightening.

[Rater202]

** May not ask if you meant lightning or lightning.

***May not respond with "lightning"
****May not blame mistakes on my crappy spellcheck thinking I mispelled a word other than the one I really misspelled.

*****When given the choice between the former antagonist who knows exactly how to create an antidote for the shrinking and growth potions and has been relatively helpful, or the other alchemist who follows a different tradition and would have to take the time to learn how to make the antidote and whose only meaningful interaction with the party involved trying to murder one of their friends, I'm apparently supposed to trust the almost murderer.

[Anonymouswizard]

* If I'm creating a reality warping device, may not specify that is semiautomatic.
** Especially if the only reason I didn't go for fully automatic was because 'I don't want to deal with the headache.
*** I am now banned from using Super Tech
**** Any abuse of FTL will get me banned from Ultra Tech.
***** Banned from Tech if I give primitive cultures computers and nuclear weapons.
****** I may not sharpen my stick.

[Spore]

*Upon finding 50.000 gp of drugs my PALADIN might not consider stashing and selling said drugs. It's not loot.
** Even if my Paladin is the son of a wealthy business man and knows what this stuff could be worth.
*** He shouldn't try the stuff, considering it weakens the boundar between mind and ethereal plane enough that demons and other nightmares can easily possess you.
**** No, not even supervised. You are standing in a large city, destroyed by Demons, close to the corpses of a High Priest of Asmodeus and some Hell Knights who didn't stand a chance against the demons.
***** Might not continue to travel to father's trading organization, throwing him in jail only to continue said lucrative transactions with demon summoning drugs.
****** Seriously, even using your brother as pawn to make the evil deeds in order to "raise money for good" isnt going to cut it.

[Anonymouswizard]

*Upon finding 50.000 gp of drugs my PALADIN might not consider stashing and selling said drugs. It's not loot.
** Even if my Paladin is the son of a wealthy business man and knows what this stuff could be worth.
*** He shouldn't try the stuff, considering it weakens the boundar between mind and ethereal plane enough that demons and other nightmares can easily possess you.
**** No, not even supervised. You are standing in a large city, destroyed by Demons, close to the corpses of a High Priest of Asmodeus and some Hell Knights who didn't stand a chance against the demons.
***** Might not continue to travel to father's trading organization, throwing him in jail only to continue said lucrative transactions with demon summoning drugs.
****** Seriously, even using your brother as pawn to make the evil deeds in order to "raise money for good" isnt going to cut it.

******* May not retain my Paladin powers.

[illyahr]

So who's making the new thread? We're on page 50 already.

[goto124]

*Upon finding 50.000 gp of drugs my PALADIN might not consider stashing and selling said drugs. It's not loot.
** Even if my Paladin is the son of a wealthy business man and knows what this stuff could be worth.
*** He shouldn't try the stuff, considering it weakens the boundar between mind and ethereal plane enough that demons and other nightmares can easily possess you.
**** No, not even supervised. You are standing in a large city, destroyed by Demons, close to the corpses of a High Priest of Asmodeus and some Hell Knights who didn't stand a chance against the demons.
***** Might not continue to travel to father's trading organization, throwing him in jail only to continue said lucrative transactions with demon summoning drugs.
****** Seriously, even using your brother as pawn to make the evil deeds in order to "raise money for good" isnt going to cut it.


******* May not retain my Paladin powers.

* May not steal this for my paladin.
** May not point out that she lives in a world where paladin falling doesn't exist, and thus she can do all of the above :smallcool:
*** May not have her be the son of a wealthy businessman.
**** Son, not daughter.

New thread! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?414743-Things-I-May-No-Longer-Do-while-Playing-VIII-Why-is-the-PLOT-on-fire)