Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
Since I have badly failed at keeping Internet silence I might as well come back entirely. And there's no thread on the Internet that I would rather call home than this. Ironic, since it's not about 'people like me' at all. Maybe the world would be better if we stopped talking in terms of 'people like me' and 'people not like me' and just talked about people.
It's saying things like that that makes you fit in so well here! Also, I'm glad you're back!

I was just reading something about that kind of idea the other day. Because if you think of oppression and -isms not in terms of "well, there's racism, plus there's also violence against trans people, plus I suppose old people and disabled people are often targets of abuse plus ... ", and instead of think of it as all interrelated, based on a culture where women's work is devalued, where people of the "wrong" skin colour are treated worse in the media, where old people and children are portrayed as useless, where parents are constantly made to be terrified they're doing everything wrong and aren't given the tools and the space to raise their children in the best possible way, where schools and allomothers (older people in the infant's life who look after them) aren't given the knowledge to pass on to children and tolerance and equality and all that... I'd call that imperfect, hierarchy-obsessed, intolerant side of our collective culture the "kyriarchy", and it's made up of just lots and lots of people not stopping to think about the fact that anyone else is more similar to themselves than different.

I firmly believe individuals do the best work against that kind of culture by focusing on one or two aspects, like I was first a feminist, and through feminism, I came to understand different kinds of privilege and that although I'm in the worse-off group for a bunch of things (a woman, queer, with an invisible disability), I also have a load of privilege that I have to try to be aware of (I'm white, middle-class, well-educated, cissexual, in a "straight" relationship, with a disability that is closer to "bothersome" than "debilitating"). And although I am first a feminist, that doesn't mean that I can push over someone else's struggles. The kyriarchy culture isn't bothered by activists who argue with one another about who's the "most" oppressed or what's "most important".

I think there is some injustice for everyone, and even if you're white, straight, male, cis, neurotypical, 25-40, upper-class, educated, currently able bodied, and every possible other thing, well, maybe your wife isn't and you could try listening to her about how hard it is to come from a working-class background and try fit in with all your friends. And once you understand the idea of injustice and privilege, you can try using your smart human brain to apply it to other situations. I know how hard it can be to be a woman in a male-dominated, male-centred environment. So if I'm talking to a woman who isn't white, who works in a woman-dominated field in Ireland, I don't have to say "Well, you think that's bad? At least you don't have to put up with sexism!", I can say "I can't completely understand, but I can relate. It must be hard that all your co-workers are white, and don't really understand what you have to put up with."

Far too long; didn't read - Injustice does discriminate, but generally hits everyone at some point or another. Instead of being selfish about the crap we have to put up with, we can use it to empathise with other people and that's the way to take the kyriarchy apart, one bigoted sentiment at a time.

Maybe I should stop using this place to write my essays.
Maybe I should stop writing essays about the kyriarchy and start writing that essay about the uplift of the Andes that I'm actually supposed to write...

Quote Originally Posted by H Birchgrove View Post
*also hugs Asta*

Edit: Almost forgot: Boys now reading as well as girls, study suggests
That's so weird that you linked that, because I was just reading about girls being programmed not to do well at maths!

Btw, the study seems to use "mothers" and "parents" interchangeably, which is, like, a whole other problem. It seems like they just studied mothers, which is legitimate enough for control, although it would have been better if they'd studied a larger sample with as close to even as possible mothers and fathers and then they could compare them and combine them to have actually "parents". For all they know, fathers do the opposite, so "parents" as a group don't do this. But whatever.