Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

[Dire Panda]

• I may not refer to my animal companion as "Mister Fluffykins" if he is larger than me.
• Especially if my animal companion is female.
• If I violate the previous rule, I may not complain if my character gets eaten.
• I may not attempt to research "Spay/Neuter" as a first-level druid spell.
• Not even if I attempt to justify it in-game as controlling animal populations to benefit nature overall.
• If my DM is gullible enough to let me break the previous two rules, I will not use the spell on NPCs.
• Especially not questgivers, kings, epic wizards, or other important figures.
• Should the aforementioned powerful NPC roll a natural 1 on his Fortitude save and suffer the spell's effects, I should expect both myself and Mister Fluffykins to die horribly.