Relationship Woes and Advice 22: In Which Two Problems Prevent Each Others' Solution

[sktarq]

Oh, that's a . . . horse of a different colour.

To start, goals. set goals of what you want your life to look like with irrespective of a relationships. Could be everything from fixing up the house, career or education work etc. For a lot of people their relationship is the maintence and price reason they go to work etc. Make sure you have something.
Socially try to work up guys night out or something were you can be social without romantic relationship pairings dominating the dynamic of the social order. Guys night out works, clubs, or even running your own roleplaying game. Something to keep you socially satisfied and not feeling like you are missing out.
A pet. depending on your situation (living set up) you may or may not be able to use this one. But having a dog or a cat can be very helpful. Someone that greets you when you come home, a source of cuddles, someone that depends on you are all helpful things. Esp a bachalor (or bachalorette for those ladies reading the thread).
Finnally solitary hobbies. Crafts, Reading, writing for your RPG (the game not grenade), stuff that makes you feel productive and happy without needing an audience or someone to share thing with. Cooking and movies are not ones I'd recomend as cooking often mmakes you want to share as it can be hard to find single portion recipies that work well and movies etc half the fun is the chat afterward for many people.


hmmm. . .all I got at the moment.
g'luck on that

Also, it can be really difficult not to become bitter and cynical if one experiences (almost) nothing but rejection and failure. Trying to maintain hope and optimism in the face of constant negative reinforcement is not easy.

People need something to give them hope - a compliment, a hug, or just someone they can turn to when they fall off the horse for what seems like the hundredth time.

I'd really want to agree with you but the ton of compliments about how great a SO you'd be, for someone else, is actually worse. at least IMH