D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting

[Kaun]

Yay stuff!

@Lady Moreta

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And in a similar vein - and again, this is very much a personal preference... but I find it a little jarring that of your dude's flashback, only the speech is italicised... in general (by which I mean, in every single thing I've ever read) all of a flashback is in italics - to make it clear that it's a flashback. Unless there is some specific in-story/stylistic reason not to do it. For example, yesterday I wrote a story in which the character was dreaming. I deliberately didn't italicise anything (normally dreams are done the same way as flashbacks) because to do so would have been to alert the reader to the fact that something was going on and it would have spoiled the later impact when the character woke up (the snippet started with the dream sequence). Here, every time you go back to simple description/story-telling, it drags me out of the flashback and I keep thinking that what you're writing is what's actually happening at the time and I have to keep reminding myself that it's still the flashback.

If you don't want to use italics like that, then even a simple

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to separate the sections will do. We just need something to separate it from the main story...

Firstly thanks for commenting.

This is totally me being a jerk, but - do you mean to say the pot is the colour of cobalt, or it's made of cobalt? It's been my understanding that it's too soft to use for something like that... then again, Wikipedia is telling me that the cobalt metal is a hard silvery metal so hey, I can be wrong!

Was going for the colour. Maybe it was unnecessary?

*snip*

Typos, spelling mistakes and grammatical errors will be the death of me!

Also, that last sentence feels a little - short, to me. It's a very abrupt ending... I'd like to know what he went off and did after he hefted his weapons.

While i'm not happy with the last sentence the intention was to leave it with the reader wanting to know what happened next. So i'm half way there i guess .

Thank for all of your help by the way!

@Dr Bwaa

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@Kaun
Also, in the future (maybe I should put this in the OP...), it's easier for me to keep the snippet catalog up-to-date if, when you make edits/revisions, you just edit the post the original snippet was in and mention in a new post that you did so (if you want people to go reread it). That way I don't need to remember to change the link, and your revised versions won't get lost. If you'd rather not do in-place edits that's fine, just be aware that I may not remember to fix the links in the OP

My apologies i will keep this in mind for the future.