Pathfinder Grab Bag Competition Chat Thread

[Tanuki Tales]

First up, a rundown for the Uncontrollable Titan!

Fluff

• For some reason the first sentence reads like three fragments strung together, I'd suggest rewriting it to flow better.
• Titan should be plural in the second sentence since you describe them in a plural sense as "creatures".
• I think you meant "sheer" and not "shear".
• I think you meant "their" and not "there".
• Cleric should be pluralized.

Alignment

• Titan should be plural.

Dual-Minded

• I think you meant "attacking" and not "attack".
• I think you meant "gains a" and not "gain a".
• Titan should be plural.
• I think you meant "damaged by" and not "damage by".
• I think you meant "takes any" and not "take any".
• Ability should be plural.
• You should rewrite the following excerpt, because I had trouble reading it: "Lastly an uncontrollable titan most have at least one trigger for his life that will trigger a control check. For example an uncontrollable titan that's family was killed by bandits, he will need to make a control check. This trigger and any other that he chooses are controlled by GM decision."

Gamma Form

• You should rewrite the first sentence, I'm not sure what it means.

Sorry, I'm going to stop this part of the rundown here. I suggest just re-reading your entire entry, because there are a lot of errors I'm coming across.

Now onto the other part of the rundown.

• How exactly does someone qualify for this prestige class when you can only have one mutagen at a time?
• For Dual-minded, why is the DC 5+Wis and then 23+Wis? Shouldn't it be 25+Wis? Also, why does only melee damage cause a check to be need made? So if I shoot this guy in the head with a gun or throw a fireball his way, he just sits calm and pretty?
• Why doesn't the Gamma Wings Mutation give the Titan a flight speed?
• Does the Hardy Vitality Mutation give a total of Total Hit Dice+2xCon Mod or Total Hit Dicex2xCon Mod?
• Is the Heighten Senses Mutation supposed to be Scent or Blindsense or what?
• Why is the Immortality Mutation restricted to such a high level? It basically grants the Ferocity special quality, which is subpar to the Die Hard feat, which is itself terrible.
• Why doesn't the Self Healing Mutation just grant Fast Healing?
• As written, the Skin of Stone Mutation can grant DR 50/Adamantine.
• As written, the Super Strength Mutation doesn't do anything since named bonuses don't stack.
• Why does this class get Rage exactly as a Barbarian? Is that really necessary?
• Clap of Thunder should be keyed off Uncontrollable Titan levels, not total levels.
• I can't think of percentages being used outside of cover and concealment and such, so I'd come up with some flat or dice value for Feeding the Beast.
• The Capstone basically makes the character into the Green Scar Hulk?

And done!

Edit:

Ok, I lied; I'm not done.

Here's a rundown for the Alchemical Hunter!


Fluff

• Should be "An Alchemist" and not "A Alchemist".
• Should be "takes it" and not "take it".
• Should be "favored terrain" and not "favor terrain".

That's it for the grammar bit.

• First thing I want to ask is, why is this class meant for entry by straight alchemist and then give some aspects of the ranger class? Why not just make it a class that assumes a Alchemist 3/Ranger 3 entry and then progresses/combines features from both sides?
• Second thing I'll say is...dead levels. Dead levels are a bad thing when the class isn't granting something amazing to make up for it (like the Eldritch Knight or Mystic Theurge do). You need to add more meat to the bones of this class.
• Third, Lord of the Hunt is kind of lame as a capstone ability, no offense.

Ok, now I'm done.