We had a feral cat once. It spent the first several months hiding behind my parents bed, only coming out at night to go to the bathroom when everyone was asleep. We rarely ever saw the cat. It took months before my stepdad managed to make friends with her and she would let him pet her and cuddle with him. But noone else could get close. It took a full year before the rest of us could slowly approach and pet her without her freaking out and running. Several years before she fully calmed down, though she remained a bit standoffish to everyone but the stepdad. As for treating you like a restaurant, join the club. Heh, my cats have always been outdoor enthusiasts. They come in to eat and sleep. Sometimes they hang out with us, but generally they spend all day outside doing whatever it is cats do on the prowl.