Personal Woes and Advice 2

[dehro]

Drive, Commitment and Motivation are bloody difficult to motivate yourself to get.

With regards to the girlfriend issue - have you tried online dating? It's not too shabby for finding people to at least hang out with and meet up with - and some sites you can just say that you're looking for people to hang out with rather than bang.

Otherwise... Motivation is a thing where you just have to do it. You could maybe start up something online like a blog which forces you to do stuff so you can update it (might or might not work).

on online dating.
In England I've gone down that path and with some success.. made some good friends, had fun with a few that I later parted ways with.. then I moved back to Italy and everything came to a screeching halt
Online dating in Italy isn't quite as mainstream as it is in the english speaking world.. (it carries quite a stygma, actually, not that I'm bothered by that) .. 99% of the "girls" you bump into online are either dudes mailing from bulgaria or nigeria aiming to swindle you out of money or divert you towards other pay-sites, or prostitutes looking for customers. The numbers on online dating are already massively tilted (something like 20 guys for every girl, including the fake ones) if you add that to the picture, it turns out that anywhere near where I live there are maybe 3-5 (not kidding) genuine girls.. who are drowned by emails and contacts in such a way that I'd have to be a winged billionare with a massive tonker to be noticed in the crowd.

that said, I've actually met 2 girls that way.. with one it didn't work out, the other was more promising, but then she found a job and had to move 400-500 km away not long after our first date. Ironically, that falls into a pattern I've grown used to.
Whenever I find a girl that I have any romantic inclination towards and who isn't too repulsed by the idea, either I move away, or she moves away. The last one I had feelings for moved all the way to Kabul..

On the plus side (well.. for them) apparently dating me is a springboard for fate propelling women towards the man of their life. The number of girls I've dated who have found their soulmate very soon after us meeting (and liking each other well enough) is depressing. Not that I begrudge them for it.. I'm actually happy for them, what with some of them still being internet-friends.

I tried the blog thing years ago, when it first got called blogging, and got bored with it. The number of notebooks I've bought over the course of my life with the intention of starting a diary is embarassing.
Right now, I just don't have enough stuff going on in my life to want to write about it.. there are only so many ways one can dress "so, I worked today, and then watched some stuff on youtube, and then I went to bed" to keep it fresh... and to keep it from boring myself with it.
also, my writing has always been rather personal to me, except for when I was involved in online gaming a lot more and used to do a lot of worldbuilding. (something that almost cost me a job on account of my mind being on that and not on the job)..
hell.. even now I should be calling customers instead of prattling on the web.
I'd probably better go back to doing that.

anyway, thank you for the attention.. and yes.. giving oneself motivation seems a task of sisyphean proportions