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So I'm tired of havng to appear strong when I'm realy really not. Lately few of my friends have had big problems and two of them have turned on me for emotional support. Which I really appreciate, but I feel like I have to put on mask that pretends that everything will be okay. I feel like I should be able to say more thna just "*hugs*" and "aww" and "You can try again next year". I feel I am inadequate help to those I care about but for some reason they appear to think otherwise and... gah!
Because of that same feeling of inadequecy I haven't been able to work on my novel or on my voice, both of which are important to me but seem impossible to start. And I dread the start of school aswell, I keep thinking I'll fail as I always do.
The silver lining on this all is that I might begetting hormones this fall. Might be. Which is cool but going full time also means I need to start seriously coming out to rest of my friends and family which I am dreading aswell. I don't think I'd lose members or anything but it will surely be awkward, and I am socially anxious enough already.