LGBTAitP #38: Once More With Feeling!!

[Lycunadari]

Well, in my very humble opinion, I think that the less stressed EVERYONE can be for a sit down like that, the better. Because just you thinking about telling your mom with all this stuff stressing her out, is in turn stressing you out more. So I would say, even though you really want to tell her (and you should tell her) timing can be your friend. Because it doesn't matter if you are as supportive as you can be, having someone you have known for years and years and raised since a baby drop big news like that on you while you are super duper stressed anyway is going to be huge. Note: I am not saying that telling her is bad, nor that she will take it bad. I am merely saying that maybe waiting until life dies down a little might be beneficial to the both of you. Whatever road you take, good luck and we will be here for you

~Matthew~

The problem is, it won't get any calmer soon, because I'm moving out literally the day after we come back from Australia and the time after that will be extremely stressful for me because I'll be living with new people, have to work with people and anything regarding people is difficult for me. And I'll only be able to come home every few weeks. So I either come out now, or not until autumn or even winter. And I really don't want to wait that long.

There's never going to be a perfect time, I don't think. There's always something. I suggest doing it ASAP, so she has more time to adjust, myself. But that's rather generic advice...

You're probably right...

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I say: Be a little egoistic. Your parents may be stressed at the moment, but so are you. And it will only get worse with time for you.
If you are determined to wait for your parents to get a bit more relaxed, then that is of course an option.

Personally, i just can't imagine putting up with this kind of stress for long. I'm the kind of person who bursts it out after a day of keeping secret because i just can't keep something like that to myself. It would eat me up.
I may be someone who is especially bad at keeping secrets though. Even more so when it is something as important as gender identity which primarily affects oneself.

So i guess my advice would be not to torture yourself (too much). Just come out before the stress gets too much, it doesn't help your parents either if you are obviously in distress because of something. At least my mum always knows when somethings wrong and worries about me. Always.

I usually tell them everything very soon, but I wanted to be really sure first. And I know that my mother worries about me, but there are (or were, it's getting better) so many things wrong with depression and anxiety and school stuff, that I can't really count on her motherly "something is wrong!" instinct with this.

I'm not really sure what to suggest, Juniper. Best you can really do is hope for a quiet moment to sit down with your mum and talk to her.

I hope it all works out for you, hun.

Thanks.

Hmm, being concerned about not wanting to make your mum more stressed out is something I worry about a lot, but there probably isn't going to be a perfect time to come out. How about when your sister is around before you leave for Australia cause you mentioned you'd like to have her around for it?

That's probably not a good time, because it will be really close before we leave and my mother is always especially stressed out shortly before we go somewhere. But there might be another occasion, we planned on seeing Hamlet at the open-air theatre near my grandparents and my sister wanted to see it as well. Maybe we will have a quiet moment afterwards or something. Just need my grandparent to go to bed earlier...

Budgie hugs for all readers in the new thread.

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Well, since I haven't posted anything really gay here for a while... I saw a guy I knew from my first year of University the other day in a grocery store, who I believe was interested in me at the time. At the time, alas, I was not fully out, nor comfortable enough with myself to be reciprocal. This is a few months short of ten years ago.

We didn't say hi, since I was with a friend, but we shared a definite "look" in the crisp aisle. My friend and I laughing over a bag of kettle-cooked salt and vinegar, he peering around the corner to wonder who the idiot cackling was. Holy smokes is he ever handsome now, lean and stubbly and curly black hair just slightly peppered about the temples with salt.

I have regretted not saying hello and am crossing my fingers I run into him again soon. It's been a year and a half since my last relationship, which was destructive and awful to the extreme, and little Mabel cannot scratch all my itchies.

*cuddles with budgies*
Good luck!

– Juniper